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Confession — I’m still using Urban Decay’s original Naked eyeshadow palette. I love the universally flattering neutrals and all-day wear. Now, I’m finally ready to try something bolder.
Their Naked Wild West Eyeshadow Palette features 12 “desert-inspired neutrals,” including the surprisingly versatile “Bud (soft turquoise shimmer)” and “Tex (deep blue-green matte).” These blendable and buildable eyeshadows range from matte to metallic, so you can go subtle or daring. I usually wear just one color at a time, but these colors are begging to be blended together for depth and dimension.
This eyeshadow palette is $49 and available at Sephora.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Potty training toilet says
Recs for a little toilet to potty train my son who is 2 years and 9 months? There are so many options…thank you in advance!
CCLA says
We used both oxo and bjorn ones that are the little seat with a white bowl insert…seemed pretty much the same. Either way if they’re using a small one and not the main toilet, you’re cleaning out the little insert bowl. Once they got the hang of it we encouraged moving to the main seat with a little fold down option, I think the brand is mayfair. But separately, for when on the go, hearty rec for the oxo one that folds, uses bags, and also sits on larger seats – we have like three of those, one in each car and in the stroller, and even still use for older kid when on long road trips. Those things are workhorses (but not what I’d use in the house).
NYCer says
+1 to all of these recommendations.
Anon says
we are trying to buy a house. we recently inherited 200k in cash (post tax) and 450k in an inherited IRA (inherited in 2019 so subject to the old rules for anyone knowledgeable about withdrawal rules). we have savings of 550k in cash and 420k in an investment account. we have no debt currently. we have two small children and have some money in 529s for them. i realize we are extremely fortunate in what we have. i also would give anything to have my mother back rather than having watched her die a slow, painful death. we have figured out how much we can afford on an annual basis in terms of mortgage, carrying costs, etc. the housing market near us, like many places, is insane. we lost out on a house this weekend after a bidding war with the house going for 100k over asking. we could have bid 100k more, but the only way to make that affordable for us would’ve been by putting down a larger downpayment as to not increase the mortgage. DH and I both feel strange having this money that we didn’t earn and feel like we should not use it to enable a house purchase and should save it (not sure for what). are we being dumb?
Anon says
Bluntly, yes. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t use this money for a house. I’m sorry for your loss.
Anonanonanon says
I’m so sorry for your loss. Yes, use it for a house. Do you currently own a home? I’d wait until this current bubble bursts, personally. Everyone I know who bought in this market (and usually paying at least 100K over asking) is already starting to regret getting caught up in a feeling of having to snatch up any house they could after losing out on a couple they actually really liked.
Cb says
In a totally different market but second this. We bought in December paying just a bit above asking and friends bought in May in the same village, paying £75,000 over last year’s prices. I’d just be salty about overpaying for a house.
Anon says
first I’m very sorry for your tragic loss. Second, the house is an asset – you aren’t really “spending” the money in the true sense – you’re not spending it on a blowout vacation or a new Tesla; you are buying an asset. If you save it, you might buy different assets (i.e. stocks, bond etc.), but it’s not as though that is somehow more virtuous than buying a house. Plus this way, you get to live in it.
Anon says
thanks all for your kind comments. this is why i posted here instead of the main board. we do not currently own a home. back in 2019 our plan had been to start searching in 2021 (obviously not knowing what would happen) i don’t know if i should add that DH significantly out earns me (we have good life insurance). i had been thinking of the inherited IRA as money that we should save for our retirement, but maybe that is wrong (we currently max out our 401ks). a lot of DH’s income comes from deferred compensation (he works in finance, so stock, carry) and obviously there is no guarantee with that, so i think we are both scared of spending this money and then not having it to fall back on just in case. the just in case situations would be extended job loss, some kind of terrible medical event, one of our kids requiring some kind of special schooling.
Anonymous says
You’re rich. You have 500k in liquid savings already. Plus another 200k inherited in cash. Even if you don’t want to touch the inherited IRA you have dramatically more than enough money to buy a house.
No Face says
Figure out how big of an emergency fund you want, and save that. It is perfectly acceptable to use the money for a down payment for a house.
Anon says
This money can still be fallen back on – you can sell the house. I’d go for it.
I also agree that the housing market is insane right now but I’m not sure I see prices in my Texas city going back down. My husband would say the same. The COVID craziness came just before a demographic shift where we are and I think that’s true in a lot of places – it’s masking underlying shifts in the market that won’t necessarily reverse. I do think there will be less of a sense of urgency in a couple years, but I don’t see a price correction in the most desirable neighborhoods.
Anon says
where in Texas are you? we are newish to our TX city and trying to figure things out
Anon says
I’m in Houston. I’m also really specifically talking about inside the loop but the people I know in real estate just don’t see it falling. There’s a lot of buyers out there (a whole new generation) and a lot of demand.
I know Austin’s crazy. I might except Austin from that statement. But have housing prices in Austin EVER fallen?
Anonymous says
First, I am so sorry for your loss.
Second, you mentioned all your assets but not your income. Without the inheritance, what kind of house would you be able to afford? What does “right size” housing for you run in your area? Can you buy something for $1-1.5M? If so, I’d use some of your inheritance as the downpayment, paying more like 50% vs the typical 20% and use your income for mortgage payments.
Or, consider saving your inheritance and using it for a second home down the line. We are in our “forever” home now and if we inherited $800k we’d not pick up and move. We’d buy a vacation home and think fondly of our loved one when using it and how much they’d love to see the kids having so much fun and the family having so much quality time.
OP says
we would like to buy our forever home. without the inheritance we could probably buy a house for around 1.2-1.4. the issue is that every house we’ve seen that is the size we want in a good location in our budget needs a ton of work. i guess we need to recalibrate our expectations in terms of what we can afford. this weekend we lost out on a house that was listed for close to 1.5 and ended up going for closer to 1.6 and it was basically perfect.
Anonymous says
Yeah that’s dumb. You can afford that bump up and easily. And then you’ll be able to get the house you want!!
If you’re just not emotionally ready now, that’s totally ok. I’d then step out of the process entirely. Stop looking.
Anonymous says
Yes you’re being dumb. You have plenty more than enough money. Yes, keep an eye on what you can afford in monthly mortgage payments but you can and should use that money on a down payment.
Anonymous says
It sounds like you have plenty of money and could absolutely use it to buy a house, but also, you’re grieving and not sure what you want. Why not just wait? Give yourself some time to come to terms with your changed circumstances. Buying a house and moving is a big stressful project, and maybe you just aren’t ready for that right now. It’s okay to just sit on the money for a year while you sort through your feelings.
OP says
so i don’t know that time will help. I’m usually the saver and DH is usually the spender. I had said (likely emotionally at the time) that the retirement account we inherited should be for our retirement, but there is no early withdrawal penalty like a traditional retirement account (it’s just taxed as ordinary income), so we could always pull money from it in a true emergency. we’ve always had a decent amount in our investment account and I think maybe DH is freaking out about not having that cushion for just in case, given that more of the earning pressure is on him and i think we are both feeling that we don’t deserve to live in such a nice house that we didn’t earn the money to buy
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m so sorry for your loss. But this – “we are both feeling that we don’t deserve to live in such a nice house that we didn’t earn the money to buy” – I think I read somewhere that the majority of millennials buying houses got help from parents for a down payment. Or if not directly for a down payment, then through college and grad school payments leaving them with no other debt, help with weddings, etc. I think very few people can assert that all of the money they have is through their own efforts, and that’s ok! It sounds like you can afford the higher house and I agree that you should go for it.
But definitely therapy to talk through this and your grief, if you aren’t already seeing one.
Anonymous says
It’s not just millenials – this has been going on for generations.
Anon says
+1 to lots of people get help. Most of my friends in the Bay Area got sizeable gifts toward their down payments from their parents. That’s a crazy market, but still. We ended up borrowing $150k from my parents so we could make an all-cash offer on a house (10% over the asking price) in a very low cost of living area that was a very hot market despite the overall low prices. It’s not like we couldn’t have found some kind of house without them and we paid all the money back with interest, but their help allowed us to get our dream house when we might have lost out on it otherwise. I never expected to have help from my parents buying a house, but they offered and could easily afford it and in the moment it seemed like it made sense. You have this money, buying slightly more house than you otherwise could have is a responsible use of it, go for it.
Anonymous says
Truth. This is fundamentally the case for Reparations.
Anon says
I understand and support the idea of reparations as a payment for the wrongs done to their ancestors, but isn’t it sort of insulting to Black people to imply they must not have any generational wealth? I know plenty who do. This seems like a very condescending take.
Anon Lawyer says
Anon at 11:39am – it’s not that no Black people have generational wealth, but you can look at the cold, hard numbers and see that many fewer do than white people. I don’t know why that would be condescending – it’s literally because their wealth and labor were stolen and exploited for centuries.
Anonymous says
@11:39. The point isn’t that no Black people have any generational wealth, the point is that federal policies prevented many Black people from beginning to build generational wealth for hundreds of years, giving white people a massive head start that shows up today in a big gap between average wealth of white and Black families. Even after emancipation, there was Jim Crow, frontier land grants that were only eligible for white people, red lining, inability to get financing to purchase land or a house, etc.
For example, post WWII, there were laws that made it easier for white families to get mortgages and box out Black families. My grandparents got purchased homes under that program, which made my parents’ upbringing more advantaged than that of their Black peers whose parents weren’t able to purchase a home. This enabled my parents to get professional degrees and the privilege kept compounding for my generation and my children’s generation. Reparations are not just to apologize for slavery, they’re to begin trying to right generations unequal access to opportunity.
Spirograph says
I’m sorry for your loss.
Assuming your own retirement savings are on target, if you don’t have a savings goal that would be helped by an influx of a couple hundred k and you were planning to buy a house anyway, it sounds like using the inherited money to increase your down payment is a perfectly good use of it in an objective sense… but there’s obviously an emotional component here that you might just need a bit more time to work through. That’s OK. Do you have a financial planner? Based on the dollar amounts you’re talking about, to me, it would be worth talking to a fee-based planner to run some scenarios. It sounds like you have enough to afford the forever home you want (even in this crazy market), and continue toward your other savings goals, but you might feel better about it if you have the actual analysis in front of you.
Anon says
I am so sorry for your loss. For what it’s worth, my in-laws both passed away unexpectedly and they left us more money than we ever imagined that they had given their extremely frugal lives. We used the money to pay off one house (which we now rent out) and paid cash for the house in which we now live. It was difficult for me initially to come to terms with this use of the money – much for the same reasons as you -, but a couple things: 1) our growing family needed a bigger house than we could have afforded without the inheritance, and 2) in my mind, any large inheritance is not just my money- it is money that I want to be able to pass down to my children – it is the only gift that dead my in-laws can give their grandchildren, so actually buying a house was in many ways the best way to ensure that that legacy would happen. We tell our children all the time that we are really lucky that grandma and grandpa made it possible to buy our house, and that we need to remember them with gratitude and love.
Anonymous says
Lots of good comments above. I’ll just throw in that as a parent, I’d be delighted if my child used an inheritance from me to give her family a home.
Anon says
Perspective: buying a nice house is a GREAT use of an inheritance. It’s a tangible thing that you will appreciate every single day, will be an asset to your family (literally and figuratively), and doesn’t get lumped in with fungible money.
Anon says
+1 Unless your mom had specifically expressed that she wanted the money reserved for some other purpose, I can’t think of a better use of it.
Cb says
My son has been vehemently anti-water for the 9 months, crying if we asked him to dip his toe in or his feet got wet. We went to the beach with some friends yesterday and I didn’t even pack a swimsuit for him, as “T won’t go in!” He spent an hour running through the surf yelling “I’m in the sea, I love the sea!” Which I now realise was entirely inspired by the book Little Crab. Annoyingly, I didn’t bring my swimsuit b/c he normally gets super anxious if I’m in the water, and comes and tries to drag me out, but I could have had a proper swim yesterday! Why are kids so fickle?
Anonymous says
The fact that you were not prepared to get in the water is probably why he decided to do it!
Cb says
He started to strip down to his undies, and thought it was socially acceptable for me to do the same!
PistachioLemon says
+1 kids…
Anonymous says
This made my morning. 100% he went in because you didn’t pack swimsuits.
I truly feel our sons could be friends.
ANon says
This is so adorable. made my morning.
ElisaR says
My 5 year old is starting to exhibit anxiety that is concerning to me. He freaks out if we close the door to the bathroom during bath (we always have done that to keep it cozy), or basically close the door in any small-ish space. He insists I leave the drivers door to car open when putting him into his carseat. He gets worried if he knows he will be getting in the car in the near future and asks me to “do it in the special pattern so he feels comfortable”. A few months ago he the nanny somehow locked the keys in the car and had to get the spare keys from inside to get him out….. but that was like 4 months ago and it just seems to be bothering him now.
Should I just be sensitive to him and plug along? Talk to pediatrician? Is there any way to nip this in the bud?
Anonymous says
Def talk to pediatrician! Zero downside. Anxiety is often something you manage over a life time not a nip in the bud type of thing.
Anonymous says
Has the nanny made a similar mistake recently? Being locked in a car would be pretty scary. It doesn’t sound out of the norm that he’s still bothered by it a few month later. His solution of leaving the drivers door open is sensible and practical. Especially in the summer when being locked in for even 15- 20 mins could have serious health consequences
Anon says
+1 Speaking as someone with an anxious kid, this does not sound like anxiety. It sounds like a very rational reaction to a terrifying experience. The point of anxiety is that it’s *irrational* fear.
ANon says
Agreed. Also, OP, it sounds like your son has come up with a healthy coping mechanism to his fear that he may be locked inside somewhere: just keep the door open. I wouldn’t encourage him to get past it just yet. Instead, I would talk to him about it and talk about additional ideas that would help him cope. If leaving the door open is the only/best option, then tell him how proud you are of him that he recognized he was afraid of something and came up with a great solution to it. Then preempt the issue before the stress of the fear starts to consume him. For example, as you walk out to the car, you could say to him, “Ok, let’s get into the car. And don’t worry, I won’t forget to leave the door open, ok?”
Anon says
Yes, even for anxiety you’re allowed to have coping mechanisms as long as they don’t interfere with normal life or hurt others, and I think wanting the car door open while he’s being buckled in is a pretty reasonable coping mechanism. For reference, my 3 year old has this weird thing where she doesn’t want to see her boo-boos so when she has a skinned knee (pretty much constantly lately) she needs a washcloth to put over knees while she’s on the potty and in the bath. I mentioned it to our ped who feels strongly that we should allow her this comping mechanism until she outgrows it on her own rather than trying to make her “face her fears,” because it’s not unsafe or a major nuisance. So that’s what we’re doing.
OP says
Thank you for the constructive advice
Anonymous says
I think talking to the pediatrician is a fine idea. But I would also try to talk through with him what his worries are and if you can help him think of a solution. Agree with above that the leaving the door open example is very sensible and I could see whey he is concerned. Just because he was locked in the car several months ago doesn’t mean it’s not on his mind still — my 4-yo will periodically bring up things that are troublesome to her that happened over a year ago.
For the car example, I would talk through with him what he’s worried about, and come up with ideas that can help him feel better. Leaving the door open is one idea. I make a point to always keep my keys on me when putting my kid in the car for this reason (also seems safer from a carjacking perspective…I also have anxiety). I also think it would be helpful to tell him that you don’t mind if he wants reassurance about it — like he can know that your routine is to leave the door open, but it’s ok for him to ask you, too. With the bath, is he worried he’ll be locked in? I assume there’s a grownup in the room with him at 5 (?). Can you explain how the door locks/unlocks? Show him how you could pick the lock of the the door from the outside if he locked it by accident and he needed you? As another example, my 4-yo over the weekend was very concerned that I would set off our alarm when opening the door (she’s worried about the loud noise & being startled). Ours has a red light when it was armed and a green light when it’s not. I explained that to her, armed/disarmed it so she could see the difference, and told her that she is welcome to remind me about it, but she can also look for herself to give her a little more control.
Anonymous says
My kid would totally also remember something like this happening and focus on it. Heck, she still acts traumatized from when I had to go to the hospital to give birth and grandma had to watch her. Which happened when she was just over two..,2 years ago!
Carseat help says
Help me figure out what to do in terms of a convertible car seat for extended rear facing. We ordered the Graco Extend2Fit but between two adults and several hours, we still cannot get it installed correctly with a seat belt in our Honda Odyssey (it’s fine in my car, weirdly.) No matter how hard we try, it still moves around well more than 1 inch. The latch install is better but our kiddo is big and will hit the latch limit before we are ready to turn him around. Ideas? Suggestions? Recommendations for a different extended rear facing seat? I’m at a loss. I’ve never had this problem with a carseat before.
We chose this seat based on reviews and particularly the crash test ratings at BabyGearLab. I was feeling very confident in our choice until we tried to install it.
Anon says
We have Britax seats that I think are pretty easy to install. Not sure about extended rear-facing though, the weight limit is 40 lbs and my kid hit that around her 3rd birthday and we flipped her then instead of trying to buy new seats.
My feeling is that every seat on the market is safe “enough” (they’re regulated pretty stringently) so I don’t beat myself up trying to find the safest seat.
Anonymous says
She’s worried about the latch limit not the seat limit. Latch limit is 65lbs for both rear facing and forward facing seats so if you have a 25 lbs seat and 45 lbs kid, you need to do a seatbelt install on the seat even if they are forward facing.
OP- I’d do the latch install now and deal with the possibility of needing a new seat down the road as there may be new seats or better options in a year. Kids also grow more slowly as they get older so the seat may work for longer than you expect with latch.
Anon says
She said she wanted to possibly buy a new seat. I read it as she was open to installing a new seat with the seatbelt and was just using LATCH with her current seat because the seatbelt install isn’t working. My point was that the Britax seat is easy to install with a seatbelt and overall very good in our experience, but it has a rear-facing weight limit of 40 lbs (any method) so a big kid might hit that around 2-3 and not be able to rear-face as long as she had hoped.
OP says
Thanks, yes! We have Britax seat currently, but it only rear faces up to 40 lbs so we are switching to an extended rear facing seat (and passing the Britax on to the baby.)
Carseats says
I like the crash test ratings (BabyGearLab is the only one I’ve found) because it helps me see whether more $$$ and additional “safety features” actually equals a safer seat. Sometimes yes, often no.
For example, we spent more to get a Britax Advocate with my first based on the additional safety features over the other Britax seats – but if you look at the results from BabyGearLab, the Marathon and Boulevard (the cheaper versions) actually performed better. So what I thought was a safety upgrade was actually a total waste of money.
TheElms says
Did you try the inside outside method to tighten the seatbelt? (Google the phrase and there are several good videos that show how to do it)? The Britax One4Life has the clicktight install (super easy) and RFs to 50 lbs.
Been there, bought that says
Seconding the one4life. I bought a convertible seat early in the pandemic (so no access to experts for installation checking) and cared only about high rear-facing weight limit + ease of installation. The o4l was the clear answer.
Anon says
Nuna exec also has same high rear-facing height limit and high weight limit.
Anonymous says
I would look for carseat help in-person in your area. Maybe the fire or police station has a certified carseat tech (I think this is a thing)? Some newborn care & post-partum doulas offer this as well that I’ve seen. This seems really specific to your car. Have you tried having one adult get in the seat (basically put a knee in the seat so you’re putting all your weight on it) and pull the belt to tighten it?
We have a Britax but got the Graco E2F to do extended RF for our tall kid. The Britax Marathon clicktight gets a very tight install in our car, and based on how the system works, seems like it would be the case in most cars as long as you’re not hitting a weird loop on the seatbelt or something. But check the limits, my tall kid was not going to RF in it for long. The Graco E2F is harder to tighten. I can get a decent install using the above method, but not as tight as the Britax clicktight. I do feel it’s within the allowable wiggle room, though.
HSAL says
Yep, this. Just google your state and car seat inspections. They don’t install for you but they can show you how to adjust what you need for the right fit.
Anonymous says
When we took our car seat for an inspection, the police officer or firefighter (I forget which) just automatically took the car seat out and reinstalled it, without giving us any tips on how to make installation easier and more secure. I was so mad because I’d spent hours wrestling with the thing myself while very pregnant to get it installed properly.
Anon says
If you want another option, the Nuna rava is very easy to install and seems super comfy.
CPST resource says
Often times police/fire DON’T have CPST on staff, or their certification has lapsed. cert.safekids.org/find-tech is the best resource.
Anon says
does anyone have any kind of lap desk that they use for flying with kids? i can’t tell if they are all too bulky and are meant for car rides or if they woudl also work for planes
Katy says
Seems like one more thing to lug through airport and not necessary. We haven’t flown in a while but we didn’t really have an issue using the seat back tables even with a 2 – 2.5 year old.
If you bring the car seat on the plane, you might have an issue if you are in a row where the table comes out of the arm rest.
FWIW: we have only brought car seat on the plane when we have been in “extra leg room” rows and the table worked fine. (DH is 6’8″ that is the row we generally fly in, assuming we can get us all in it).
Anonymous says
No def not way too bulky. Either use the tray table or a board book in their lap
Anon says
This seems totally unnecessary and annoying to carry.
Anon says
Why would you need this when the plane gives you a built-in lap desk, I.e., tray table?
AMama says
We have one from Amazon that we use when traveling for our 3.5 yo. It’s not too bulky and keeps things from rolling off the tray table b/c it has sides.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07NQPZN7F/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Anoner says
My 4.5 yo started big kid camp today (bus to a location, I think this is a nyc thing) and needs to carry so much stuff. His skip hop backpack was filled to the brim and couldn’t fit his lunch bag and basically he was toppling over. Advice on what to do? Buy a bigger backpack? Send a small tote? Thanks!
Anonymous says
Do not send an open tote! He needs a bigger backpack. LL Bean lasts forever.
ANon says
What about the rolling skip hop backpack? It will give a little extra storage but he won’t have to carry all the weight on his shoulders. Since it’s a backpack, he can still put it on his shoulders if/when he needs to (such as when boarding the bus). Something like this: https://lunababystore.com/products/skip-hop-zoo-kids-rolling-luggage-butterfly?variant=31794601984043¤cy=USD&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIuqDX-vG68QIVKx6tBh1NsABiEAQYAiABEgIU5PD_BwE
ANon says
Huh. I don’t know why I thought the link I sent was a backpack. Apparently it just has a detachable shoulder strap….
Anoner says
Thank you both!
Anonymous says
We have a long drive up the 95 corridor coming up (DC to Boston). Any suggestions for places to stop along the way with preschoolers? Open to good rest stops and longer diversions to give kids a chance to run around. Is the Bronx Zoo as convenient off the highway as google maps makes it look? Could that be a 2-hour detour or would that be 20 mins in the zoo and 90m of exit ramps, parking, and ticket buying?
Anonymous says
The zoo is right off the highway but realistically a three hour trip.
Anonymous says
Thanks, this is helpful, also woooah it would be pricey for such a short visit! (spoiled by DC zoo over here)
Anonymous says
No suggestions but almost came here to post the same question this morning so I’ll be eager to see the replies! We just downloaded the Playground Buddy app and hope to find some playgrounds just off 95 along the way.
Anonymous says
My quibble with the Bronx zoo for preschoolers is that it is massive – so much walking with somewhat limited payoff (as opposed to more condensed zoos elsewhere in NYC). The aquarium in Norwalk CT is right off of 95 and is a very manageable size for preschoolers, with an easy parking garage across the street. There’s also a nice playground right on the other side of the freeway called Devon’s Place.
fallen says
+1 on the maritime aquarium and playground next to it. Also the mall right next to the aquarium has a CAMP store which my kids love. Also lots of amazing restauraunts in Norwalk for lunch right after it.
anonymous says
There is also the stepping stones museum in Norwalk (equally easy off of 95) and a HUGE playground there on the same grounds. The Aquarium has better restaurant access as it’s about 2 blocks from the main drag though.
Will that be your second stop, or your first? You’re about 3~ hours away from Boston at that point so it would be a good first stop if you can power through the NYC traffic, but if your kids are little I can see wanting to get the wiggles out beforehand. You will likely hit the worst traffic going through NYC, if I were you, I’d look into taking the NY state throughway to the Tappan Zee Bridge (longer, but generally moves better than trying to deal with the bridges and tunnels of NJ/NYC).
fallen says
I live in CT so here are a couple favorites around NYC/CT: Met Cloisters Park, NYC Botanical Gardens, Bronx Zoo, Silverman’s Farm or Lyman Orchards for fruit picking (check what’s in season, Lyman also has a petting zoo), Hammonasset Beach, Maritime Aquarium in Norwalk, Stepping Stones Museum for Children, Beardsley Zoo in CT, Mystic CT and grab pizza there, walk around New Haven and grab pizza there and Arethusa’s ice cream. A few of these maybe 15 minutes off the I-95 but several are right on it.
Anonymous says
Thanks so much! This is actually making me somewhat excited for the drive!
Anonymous says
Yeah, don’t do the Bronx zoo as a quick stop – it’s an all day endeavor. There’s rarely any easy on or off right in NYC, “highway” or not – the roads are often kind of a maze, and just because there’s an exit somewhere it doesn’t mean there’s a corresponding on ramp (or that it will be well marked). I’ve lived and driven in NYC for 16 years and still usually make a wrong turn when trying to get to the Bronx zoo. Honestly traffic is such a big variable between central NJ and central CT that I think you might be better off just looking for a nearby park when you are ready to stop, but look further south or north of NYC for a more suburban area. If you are on the NJ turnpike, the area around New Brunswick has a lot of chain restaurants and probably some decent playgrounds (look in Highland Park). Hopefully someone more familiar with Southern CT can chime in.
Anonymous says
Exactly the intel I was looking for, thank you!
Anonymous says
You’re welcome! I’m oddly invested in your trip. Are you trying to do this in one day? If so, I don’t think you are going to want to have long stops – not to be a Debbie Downer but that it is going to be a slog. There is so much traffic on this route – do not believe Google Maps’ estimations of driving time! Crossing the Hudson alone could easily add an hour or more at the wrong time of day. Also, in many places around NYC there is more than one highway that goes in the same direction, and you may want to reroute depending on traffic (e.g. 15 vs 95 in Southern CT, many options in the Bronx). So getting attached to a specific stopping point may complicate matters for you. Good luck!
Anonymous says
DH and I are actually currently debating whether to do in one trip or break into two! I like to fall asleep at 9 pm so the idea of leaving at 7 pm after work seems miserable to me, and I’d much prefer leaving at 3 or 4 a.m. He’s the opposite. Thanks for all this info– a lot to consider!
AwayEmily says
In support of your husband, I find that if you leave at 4am, there’s a decent chance your kids will not go back to sleep. But they will likely fall asleep by 9:30 or so at the latest, which gives you a lot more kid-free driving time (we regularly do a 12-hour drive and plan it for about 1pm – 1am).
Anon says
Yeah, I agree with AwayEmily. We never wake kiddo up early to drive. We leave as soon as she’s awake and if it’s a very long drive (we’ve done up to 14 hours) she will fall asleep at the end. Even if kids don’t fall asleep and get cranky at the very end, that’s better than them being cranky all day due to being woken up early.
Anon says
I would take the Tappan Zee instead of the GW. That positions you nicely onto the Merritt Parkway instead of 95.
Anon says
Second the Tappan Zee (Cuomo bridge) suggestion. 95 is a terror between northern Jersey and 15 minutes before you reach CT. We do this drive very regularly between southern Westchester to Jersey and will actually take an extra 30 minutes to reroute through the Tappan Zee bridge to avoid 95/GWB traffic.
I’ve never been yet bc baby too young but Rye has playland park which is off of 95.
Anon says
The Bronx Zoo is incredible, however, due to COVID you have to buy timed tickets and given the uncertainty of summer traffic, buying a timed ticket when you might miss your window is high risk especially as the tickets are quite expensive.
Anonymous says
Not exactly what you asked, but I personally would only take 95 to NYC and then get yourself to 15 (the Hutch/the Merritt/Wilbur Cross Parkway, name depends on where you are exactly). Then take 84 from Hartford area to Mass Pike, and Mass Pike into Boston. I think this is faster than 95 up the CT coast and through Providence.
And I just downloaded the Playground Buddy app, thanks for that suggestion above!
Anonymous says
+1 to going through Hartford. Even from DC to NYC you should not stay on 95 the whole way – take 295 or the NJ Turnpike in southern NJ so you don’t detour through Philly.
fallen says
If you go through Hartford there’s a fun place to try steamed cheeseburgers (Ted’s) nearby! And I can’t remember the name but they have a great playground in the main part of Hartford with a carousel (bushnell park).
Anonymous says
Thank you both for the specifics on routes. I was just planning to do whatever Google tells me to. Appreciate the heads up.
Anonymous says
Glad you downloaded it, too! Full disclosure that this is my first time using it (recommended by a friend) so I hope it serves us both well!
Batgirl says
Can anyone recommend sun hats/baseball hats for kids with, he hem, enormous heads? :). Preference to anything I can find on Amazon (I know, I know) or Target because I need it in the next two days. Thank you!
AwayEmily says
Sunday Afternoon play hats are pretty adjustable. Size large fits 5 – 12 years according to the website (our 5yo is happily in a M but I think you’d be fine sizing up).
NYCer says
Plenty of baseball style hats are adjustable. My kids have huge 100th percentile heads, but we always find baseball hats fit fine if they are adjustable. Buy a size up if you are particularly concerned? (i.e., if you have a toddler, buy a kids size hat vs a toddler hat)
OP says
He’s 5 and was always “off the charts” head circumference wise (I mean, c-section + greater than 100th percentile for head — all brains, I’m sure!). Realizing this is a dumb question and maybe I just need adult sized hats!
Anon says
He can probably wear an adult hat. I don’t think I have a huge head and my 3 yo and I share hats. Your head is apparently 95% of adult size at age 2 so hats for big kids and adults are only slightly bigger than hats for little kids. It’s very different than clothing where even a big toddler is only half the size of an adult.
NYCer says
I would try an adult hat if he is 5! Women’s baseball hats are generally slightly smaller than men’s, so that could be a starting out point.
OP says
Thank you! Don’t know why I didn’t think of this!
Anon says
My 5 and 7 yos wear adult hats. Kid hats are too small.
Anon says
For the record my mom jokes that we could all be in a Charles Shulz cartoon. Big heads run in the family.
OP says
Our family, too!
Anonymous says
Hmm my kids (5, 8) wear “youth” sized baseball hats ( vs “toddler” or “child”) which say they fit up to a 12 y/o. I’ve borrowed them in a pinch. They do fit adults circumference-wise but I think the brim is narrower. I look goofy and like I am wearing a too-small hat but it does fit around my head.
Speaking of car seats... says
We’re going to be buying a convertible carseat soon, leaning toward the Britax One4Life. Two cars, and one parent handles daycare dropoffs and the other handles pickups, so we need two carseats. Is it better to get two of the same, and then a cheaper/lighter carseat for grandparents to use or in case we ever get on a plane again, or should we get one comfy seat for the car we use for longer trips and use the cheaper/lighter carseat in the other car?
(Apologies if this posts more than once – I got the “posting too quickly” message on the first attempt.)
Anon says
I think it’s personal preference. We have two Britax Advocates for DH’s and my cars and a Cosco finale for plane travel and our semi-local grandparents. We needed the Britax for ages 2-3 when she had outgrown the Cosco Scenera Next but we still wanted to have her rear-facing, so I don’t regret buying two of the $$$ seats, although now that we’re FF I think the Cosco Finale is just as good and much cheaper and lighter.
CCLA says
If you have space for it, I’d want a spare seat for travel and grandparents if that’s more than a twice a year thing so that you don’t need to uninstall a regularly used one for those scenarios. But whether the second car has a nicer seat or a basic one depends on your priorities. A basic seat will be fine, but consider ease of use too since it sounds like second car gets used daily too. I wouldn’t want to use our spare travel seat every day, not because it’s less comfortable but because it’s less easy!
Anonymous says
Thanks! This is where I was leaning. In normal times, travel/grandparent transportation would definitely have been more than twice a year, and I expect that I’ll have the green light for work travel again before the end of summer.
AnonATL says
We have the nicer car seat in my car and the cheaper one in my husband’s car. We regularly take my car on longer road trips. I am eyeing a Cosco for our first plane trip so we would have 3 total.
Scilady says
I would consider a couple of things. I just recently bought the Britax One4Life to keep my 38 lb 2.5 year old rear-facing (upgraded from Britax Boulevard Clicktight). I also recently borrowed the Graco Extend2Fit for my parents to keep at their house and use while we visited for 2 weeks. If I was to do it all over again, I would only buy the Graco Extend2Fit.
Problems with the Britax One4Life
– Cup holders are at a weird placement so my toddler constantly complained about them and we ended up removing them. She never complained about the ones on the Graco
– 5 point harness routes weirdly around the hips in the One4Life. My girl toddler can’t wear shorter shorts (bike shorts or boy shorts work better) because as you tighten the straps they cut into the upper thighs and are painful. We’ve had several trips start in tears because of this.
– The adjustable headrest/ back of the one4life clacks annoyingly during stops/ starts and bumps while driving. I want to know what engineer decided to put two pieces of hard plastic together instead of coating one/ offering padding. It’s fine, but sounds super flimsy.
TLDR: Get the Graco Extend2Fit instead of the BritaxOne4Life
OP says
Good to know, thanks! We haven’t had a chance to check any of these out in person or measure our cars, but we’ll definitely keep this in mind. The Extend2Fit was a close second, at least based on reviews from friends.
Anon says
My SIL is preparing for a home birth with a midwife with her 3rd child (my brother’s first). Her second was a home birth and first was unmedicated hospital birth so this isn’t her first rodeo. I’ve been asked to join the birth support group to keep my brother and their other two kids supported and calm.
I had an epidural hospital birth so I feel totally unprepared. I’ve asked multiple times if there’s anything specific I should bring, and they said no. I am feeling a little anxious.
Anyone on here have a home birth or things that someone could have done to make your birth easier? I’m planning to bring coffee, make the kids food, run laundry if needed, and take care of their dogs. I want to stay out of the way, but be helpful.
Anon says
Tell her about Kara Keough. Not really, I know it’s not your place to tell her this is a terrible idea but seriously home birth is such a terrible idea even when you’ve successfully v-birthed before. It causes so many preventable deaths. I know the medical establishment is not perfect but I don’t understand why women voluntarily choose to go back to a time before modern medicine.
Anonymous says
I mean, for someone who is set on a home birth the scary stories won’t change their minds. Statistically, Kara is an outlier (yes I’ve read the horrific story) and fatal shoulder dystocia does occur in hospital settings. And it sounds like her son would’ve at least been injured if not had the same serious complications in the hospital. It’s really scary but shoulder dystocia can be a completely unforeseen complication. There are multiple things that went wrong during that birth (late arrival of midwife with no fetal Doppler monitoring).
Anonymous says
This is completely unnecessary fear mongering.
Home birth for non-high risk moms is standard medical practice in the United Kingdom and it has been very common throughout Europe for decades. Pretty sure the National Health Service in the UK isn’t a bunch of negligent hippies adverse to modern medicine.
Anon says
“Home birth for non-high risk moms is standard medical practice in the United Kingdom”.
Not accurate. More common than in the US? Possibly. But not accurate to say it is standard medical practice (unless you’re visiting us from the set of Call the Midwife on some kind of vision – Sister Monica Joan, is that you?).
Anon Lawyer says
Yeah, though I do think America is less set up for it. I am not saying it shouldn’t be a woman’s choice, but i do think there are unqualified midwives in the U.S. who don’t have the training NHS midwives do (along with a lot who do who are great choices! .) And some of those do prey on women’s fears about hospitals, etc.
Anonymous says
I don’t live in the UK, but I looked it up and it seems like everyone who does home birth in the UK gets a midwife from the NHS? That seems like a very different situation than the US. There’s less standardization among midwives in the US. And not everyone who births at home in the US has a midwife. There’s much less regulation of doulas and other support people. The NHS website also notes that it’s only for second and subsequent births that the risk of homebirth and hospital birth is comparable. It says first births are almost twice as risky to have at home. Even if the absolute risk is small, the comparative risk is significant and I would never live with myself if something happened to my baby that might have been prevented in a hospital setting. Also at least in the US there’s a lot of overlap between the home birth movement and the anti-vax movement so I feel like describing it as rejecting modern medicine is pretty fair.
Anon says
“Even if the absolute risk is small, the comparative risk is significant and I would never live with myself if something happened to my baby that might have been prevented in a hospital setting.”
This is exactly why I wanted to give birth in a hospital. And I wanted an unmedicated birth (which I had) – so it was really just about knowing that if the sh*t hit the fan, surgeons were available in under a minute. As it turned out, I had an uncomplicated, unmedicated delivery of baby and placenta…and then my uterus would not contract for about 90 minutes. They finally controlled the bleeding, but I still needed a transfusion 2 days later (I felt fine, but my levels were shockingly low). I believe women’s bodies were designed to birth (provided that they want to birth! no one has to have a baby, you do you), felt completely empowered and in charge of my own experience, but I knew going into the experience that I wanted to minimize risk, and being in a hospital was the biggest part of that.
Anonymous says
Yea, I had a successful v-birth for my first, and then for my second, had a totally normal pregnancy, labor, and delivery and then had a hemorrhage about an hour after birth, lost a lot of blood, and needed a blood transfusion ASAP. It happened VERY QUICKLY. I know another friend who had a non hospital birth for her first, same thing happened to her, she was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and the husband was left terrified with a newborn only hours old. Obviously you won’t be able to change her mind, but if I were you I would do everyone the favor of being prepared for an emergency and if it seems like anything is going wrong or questionable not hesitating to call emergency services.
Anonymous says
Sounds like you have a great plan. Basically someone is needed to keep the kids and dogs occupied so her husband can focus on supporting her.
Anonymous says
Yeh I think she’ll take care of anything she needs for comfort. I’d really just take care of the kids/dogs and stay out of their way. Watch a bunch of homebirth videos to prepare yourself and not be freaked out by the noises of unmedicated birth. Ask if she wants the kids around/involved in the birth of their sibling or not (people vary on this). I’d recommend talking as little as possible when she’s in very active labor (you’ll know when this is).
Anonymous says
God no don’t do this they’re horrific.
Anonymous says
They aren’t horrific! Have you had an unmedicated birth? Yeh there’s a lot of bodily fluids but if you approach it from the perspective that it’s a natural process then birth can be exhilarating and exciting and positive. I would not want to attend an unmedicated birth without knowing what I was walking into.
Anonymous says
I had an unmedicated birth but still would absolutely not want to witness any form of birth. I was traumatized by the videos they showed in childbirth class, and I definitely did not see or notice any of what those videos showed while actually giving birth myself. While giving birth you are not really in a position to see much of what’s going on unless you request a mirror, and I was in such a state of tunnel vision that I literally could not see anything and could hear very little of what was going on around me.
Anonymous says
Birth is a natural process, but giving birth and witnessing a birth are two very different things. There is a reason that some people become midwives and others don’t. Not everyone is suited to witness all of nature’s miracles. I certainly am not.
Spirograph says
I had two unmedicated births and +1 to what Anon at 2:44 said.
Giving birth and watching birth videos are two very different things. OP, I’m imagining you will be in a different room than the one your SIL is actually laboring / giving birth in. If no one’s told you to bring anything specific, your plan sounds perfect. If s** hits the fan, surely the midwife will come out and give more specific instructions, brother will ask you to take the kids out of the house, or you’ll be asked to stay with the kids while SIL and brother go to the hospital. None of that requires prep. How old are the kids?
Anon says
Dying is a natural process too (in most cases) but that doesn’t make it fun to witness. I’ve given birth twice and it was fine but you would have to pay me a LOT of money to watch someone else give birth especially if I couldn’t stay up near their head.
Anon says
+1 I could not watch the birthing videos in our birth class and that was a hospital birth (although I think an unmedicated one). My husband somehow got through it, but I had my eyes closed the entire time. The instructor made fun of me to the entire class (“how are you going to do this if you can’t even watch it?”) but I actually had a very positive labor and delivery because 1) epidural and 2) I didn’t have to actually see any of the gross stuff.
Anonymous says
Offer to support her kids by caring for them in your home or say no.
Anonymous says
“Birth support group”? This is way over the top. Her husband’s job is to support her. He doesn’t get to demand his own support group. If he needs someone to keep *him* calm, he can’t handle it and needs to step out and hire a doula to support his wife.
I’d offer to watch her kids in your own home instead.
Anon says
+ a million
When my husband first found out what a doula was, he joked that he wanted his own doula! Someone to rub his back and tell him he was doing a great job. In his mind, this someone sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger. It would have made for a fabulous SNL skit.
Anonymous says
Agree. They should ask for what they specifically need from you, and you can say yes/no. Since that may not be happening, I would just be specific with what you can offer. Watching the kids & dogs (and staying with them indefinitely if hospital transfer is needed) sounds like an incredible offer. If they want you to attend to them somehow, bring the kids in and out to experience the birth, or something like that, say no if you aren’t comfortable.
Anonymous says
If I was the mom in this scenario, I’d be pretty offended if you refused and offered to have the kids at your house instead. The kids can’t participate in cutting the cord etc if they aren’t there. Assuming they are going with delayed cord clamping, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’d be in the room for the birth. That’s just one example.
The birth support group is likely for the mom not for the dad. Probably consisting of the midwife, midwife’s assistant or a midwife in training, plus doula to support mom in labor, husband, and possibly a friend of mom or the mom’s mother (I had my mom, DH, and a doula and that was a hospital birth). Asking a close family member to attend to help watch the kids so that the kids can participate to some extent but not necessarily be there for whole thing would be pretty common. Birth can take hours and if mom is still in labor when it’s the kids dinner time or bedtime, it’s helpful if there is another adult on hand feed the kids/put them to bed so the dad can stay focused on mom.
Anonymous says
OP specifically says she is being asked to serve as part of the birth support group to keep the dad and older kids calm. She needs to set clear boundaries that align with her comfort level, but this whole thing sounds like it is going to end up in boundary-pushing. If she agrees to be there to feed and watch the other kids without being in the actual birth room, what will inevitably happen is that she’s asked to shepherd the kids in and out for the cord-cutting or to help with something else in the birthing room. She won’t easily be able to say no, but it sounds like she isn’t comfortable with that level of involvement. That’s why I would advise her to offer to help without actually being in the house during labor and birth.
Anonymous says
You aren’t entitled to have people support you at a home birth. If you’d be offended by “happy to take care of your kids in my home but I’m not comfortable being in your home while you give birth” you’re an entitled drama Queen looking for problems
Anon says
+1 million.
Anon says
I almost gave birth at home accidentally (whoops) and I really didn’t need anything while laboring – the midwife and husband are more than capable of handling any request. I’m not sure what else anyone could have done to be honest. Watch the kids/dogs and call it good.