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The warmer weather makes me think of barbecues, bonfires, and picnics. If you have a little one on the way, this Print Maternity/Nursing Sundress from Ingrid & Isabel would be perfect for your next outdoor get-together.
This modern take on a gingham sundress features a smocked panel at the back, crisp and cool cotton, and snap shoulder straps that make nursing or pumping a breeze.
For a casual look, I’d pair it with a pair of espadrilles and a denim jacket. It’s also machine washable — you have other things to think about besides hand-washing or going to the cleaners with a baby on the way.
This maternity dress is available at Nordstrom for $118 and comes in XS–XL.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
fallen says
we bought a house recently and i need to buy patio furniture soon so we can have it enjoy our northeaster summer. any favorites (or home decor blogs for inspiration)? I want something very practical (i.e., I don’t have to put cushions away every time it rains).
Anon says
We bought Loll furniture last year and love it so far. Super sturdy and low maintenance.
anon says
Just a warning that any furniture that needs to be ordered is taking forever these days. Freight furniture shipping is very, very backed up. I just got the deck chairs that I ordered in November. I ordered a patio umbrella last May and it arrived in September. Both took month longer than was reported when I placed the order.
If you want something for this summer, I’d either look at used (FB marketplace) or something in stock (Target, World Market, etc).
Anon says
I like aluminum (rust free), no glass (shatters in wind storms) and seats without cushions or that are the sling style chairs that the rain just runs right through. Personal preference since we have bigger people in our families (on both sides), I avoid any chair with a swivel or rocking mechanism as they tend to break easily in my experience.
If you are looking for adirondack chairs rather than a dining set, the Leisure Line all weather chairs from Costco still look brand new after five years outdoors and uncovered.
Realist says
Pier 1 is my go to on easy maintenance free patio furniture.
Anonymous says
Can’t speak to the quality, as if varies a lot by seller, but Wayfair’s pandemic deliveries have been insanely fast for us. I don’t know how they do it.
fallen says
thanks everyone! I love all the furniture with the cushions, but that’s a bad idea right? with rain?
and the interior designer i am working with for the rest of the house told us outdoor stuff was out of stock etc but I see a lot of pieces in stock /available now on websites, but maybe that is incorrect?
Anon says
You can definitely still buy outdoor furniture from many stores – I just did. FWIW we have cushions that have been fine if they get wet, though I will throw a cover on them if I know it’s going to rain. They’re designed to dry out.
Anonymous says
If you live in a climate with any humidity, I’d forgo the cushions even if you plan to bring them in or cover them when it rains. Even the “mildew-resistant” ones get mildewed so quickly.
Ifiknew says
How would you handle this? My son turns 2 at the end of this month. He pours water in little toy cups out of bath and the more we say no the more he does it. Then we just have to remove him from the bath when he doesn’t listen. Is there anything else I should be doing here?
Anonymous says
No toys in the bath? Just take the cups away as soon as he does it. Natural consequences like this work best. “toys and water stay in the bath, if you pour the water out, toy goes away’. He will likely fuss the first time but put them out of sight in a cupboard. Let him try again the next day at the next bath.
Anon says
Yeah just take the cups away. I usually give a couple warnings and then the third time she does it I take the toy away.
Anonymous says
Take the cups out of the bath
Op says
Thanks everyone, my daughter bathes with him she will be 4 so this means taking it away from her too. Still the best choice? It’s kind of a silly question but just trying to understand parenting toddlers
Anonymous says
Yes still the best choice
Clementine says
Agreed. Sounds like the cups are going to go ‘into time out’.
In my house, we refer to ‘toy purgatory’.
anon says
The cups are not playing nicely.
Anonymous says
Yes. It’s just some cups in the bath. There will be much larger disappointments in her life. Or bathe her separately if it’s really important to you to let her have the cups.
I’d just take the path of least resistance and put the cups away for awhile instead of waiting for your son to make a mess during every bath and then causing a tantrum by taking them away, but I’m lazy that way.
Anonymous says
In that case I would take him out of the bath. I don’t think it’s right for her to have a consequence for his behavior. But, I would not let him go play elsewhere. He waits in the bathroom, out of the bath until she is done.
anon says
You could also just let her have one cup just for her. If she’s done using it, she can hand it to you.
Boston Legal Eagle says
When my kids don’t play with a toy appropriately, even if it’s just one of them, the toy goes bye bye and no one gets to play with it. The older one seems to understand. I think it will be easier for you to take the cups out of the bath than to take the 2 year old out of the bath and have him “wait” (that…. would not work well in my house).
DLC says
Yeah. I find that when I take a toy away from the younger kid, the older kid will encourage the younger towards better behavior.
But are there other toys the older kid likes? Surely there is something else the four year old can play with?
Taking the younger child out is a good idea too- I find that the actual “bathing” part of the bath takes very little time. Everything else is fun play time.
Anonymous says
Yes. We take the cups away. DSs bath ends first (DH grabs him) and then DD (4) gets all the toys.
anon says
You could consider giving him a destination for pouring his cups. Maybe a strainer or larger bucket to fill up. Sometimes a new toy will result in a new game.
Anon says
Hope everyone had a nice Mother’s Day! Mine was a little bit of a cluster but at least I had a nice brunch on a restaurant patio, which is a real treat after the last year.
Anonymous says
I had a great day! My husband was a wizard at keeping the kids quiet so I got to sleep in, and he kept the kids busy all day so I could laze around and do a lot of reading.
avocado says
My husband and daughter left me alone to read an entire novel while they cooked and cleaned! I would like that every Sunday, please.
AwayEmily says
It was amazing. I did no snack packing, no butt wiping, no laundry, no getting up from the couch when someone yelled “MAMAAAA.” My husband planned a lovely takeout lunch and homemade dinner, a long hike and a visit to the playground, and a 90-minute nap (for me) on the couch. Kids are so fun when you are not doing 50% of the work to keep them alive and happy.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Mine was great. We went to zoo (masked, distanced) in the morning and then I got some time to relax in the afternoon. And sushi takeout for dinner! The kids were still unruly by dinnertime, but I tried to be more zen about it and then I didn’t have to do either’s bath so that was a win.
Anonymous says
My husband failed to fix my car (so I have to take time off later this week and do it), but he ordered us a lovely dinner to make up for it. And my kid was really fun, so that helped.
anne-on says
My husband caught my son’s miserable cold that we both had last week, so he bowed out of our family hike, and our outdoor dinner got rained out. However, poor guy still let me sleep in, got me breakfast, and managed the pet chores as well as grilling so I’ll take it as a win overall.
Anon says
Mine was OK. Flowers came Friday, as requested. We had a random pop up shower during our patio lunch on Saturday so we ended up having to go inside mid-meal which although probably fine because we are in fact vaccinated and it was off hours, well spaced and not crowded but still made me very uncomfortable. The food was excellent though and so much better than the takeout from there we have been getting for the last year. Then I sat outside in the sun once the storms blew through and DD rode her bike in the street while I flipped through a magazine and it was lovely. Yesterday no one got to sleep in, DD had a massive meltdown (60+ minutes of crying) because she wanted to go play with the neighbor kid (who was doing their own outdoor celebration), but I at least got to read one and a half novels, got to do the laundry alone (without a “helper”) and DH cooked dinner.
No Face says
It was pretty good! A male relative prepared a delicious brunch (shout out to vaccines for making a family brunch safe again). I spent a huge part of the day in bed reading. Food and rest were all I wanted.
anon says
it was lovely! We did nothing special but just had the best version of a normal weekend – hiking on Saturday morning, then errands and chores at home, church on Sunday morning, with leftovers for lunch and house/yard projects the rest of the day, + early to bed. Kids made cards and picked a bouquet of dandelions and violets.
I made every meal and folded three loads of laundry but my husband did some house decor projects (which were truly not necessary and far more important to me than to him, but he had a good attitude and re-hung a picture about three times until it was how I wanted it).
Anon says
My DH did something great that I wouldn’t have thought of! He told me “I guess you could spend a day alone and do spa things or whatever but I didn’t think you’d really like that” (okay, I WOULD like that, but it’s sweet he thinks that), and instead he had each kid choose an activity they wanted to do with me one on one. We have three kids with one on the way, so we don’t always do one on one activities in an intentional way and it was such a great idea! So I took DS to see the Tom and Jerry movie yesterday (in a movie theater! we saw like one other person and had the theater to ourselves – very covid friendly it turns out and also movie theaters are clearly doomed). Next weekend I’m taking ODD to a fancy lunch. And my youngest has requested pool because that’s her favorite place.
I thought it was actually super thoughtful! Although Tom and Jerry was… not good, DS loved it so that was good enough for me!
Anonymous says
I agree that movie theaters are doomed. I thought so even before COVID. Movie theaters have let themselves get so disgusting and smelly, and audiences have gotten so loud and rude, that it just hasn’t been fun to go to the movies for the past several years. On top of that the number of movies that actually look interesting is dwindling. The only movie theater that I enjoyed visiting in 2019 was an odd little independent one that actually sweeps up the popcorn.
Spirograph says
I love the idea of letting kids choose 1:1 activities!
My husband also did something great that I wouldn’t have asked for. He booked a hotel with an outdoor pool in an interesting destination a couple hours away AND did all the prep and packing so all I had to do was pack my own weekend bag. (He somehow missed that the 4 year old removed all his shirts from his suitcase to make more room for dinosaurs, but luckily he has an older brother to borrow shirts from.) We didn’t do anything fancy once we were there, but the weather was beautiful, the pool was heated, and it was so nice to be not-home.
Mary Moo Cow says
I had even lower expectations than usual because DH was thinking Mother’s Day was next Sunday (when he’s going to be out of town) until our 6 year old reminded him on Thursday. He was getting his second vaccine on Friday night, so I knew he would be out most of Saturday (and he was). But despite that, it was great! Nice weather, I got to pick the episodes of Bluey we watched as a family, we got ice cream in the afternoon, and for once, my MIL didn’t make an awkward comment about not getting me a gift because she figured DH did (he didn’t and never does.) Best part was the flower paintings each kid gave me. I’m going to sorely miss those school projects when they grow up!
Clementine says
My sister and her husband hugged my kids for the first time in over a year. That was enough.
Other things in life are hard, but that was amazing. My oldest just kept going back for hugs from his favorite uncle.
Anon says
Same, my actual day was mostly not great (we’re in Asheville and tried to do the Biltmore which turns out is really stressful with small kids who need strollers, plus it was sooo crowded and the lack of masks made me twitchy), but it was our first time seeing my SIL and her husband since October 2019 and it was so worth it for the joy on my kid’s face. And next week we’re seeing her grandma for the first time since the pandemic and then visiting good friends with a kid her age. May is the month of friend/family reunions for us and I am here for it.
SC says
Mine was nice! We “celebrated” on Saturday because we had to attend my niece’s birthday party Sunday morning. DH bought me flowers on Friday evening. Saturday, DH handled breakfast and entertained Kiddo while I read. Then he took Kiddo to MIL’s house for a few hours. Saturday afternoon, DH and I did a virtual cheese tasting, which was delicious.
Yesterday, Kiddo started out having a rough morning, so I was happy I had some time to myself on Saturday. We went on a short family bike ride/walk to get some energy out, and that really turned things around. Kiddo did great at the party! After some alone time when we got home, we all played a few board games together, and DH made a delicious dinner.
Anonymous says
Mine was half-nice, half a cluster. My MIL came over and was her exceptionally irritating self, and my husband didn’t have the good sense to be pleasant or helpful after she left.
Anonymous says
It was so good! DH and I have finally mastered the holiday after over a dozen years of marriage. The key is to accept that DH will not plan ahead and instead use it as part of the gift.
Saturday: in between kids activities and household chores, DH took ALL THREE of my kids out to shop for presents for me. They got lunch and ate it at a park. I had the house to myself from 11-4pm. I did (actual) gardening, decluttered a closet, and read a book in the bathtub. We had a couple kid things (recitals and games for the older ones) so we got pizza for dinner and ate on paper plates.
Sunday: breakfast in bed, cute cards, family time outside to work on the yard. I got outdoor wine glasses & a patio heater as a gift from DH, and the kids got me flowers to plant*. Three soccer games and a lax game later, we got takeout, the kids were on their best behavior, DH handled bathtime, my two daughters gave me a “spa treatment” aka styled my hair and put lotion all over my feet. After the kids went to bed, DH brought me a glass of wine and told me he also bought a massage table** and has been watching youtube videos on how to do massage so mama got a full on semiprofessional backrub to end the day and I had enough wine that I did not even care that now we own this huge massage table.
* I sent DH with loose instructions of what would go with the house: annuals in any of this list of colors, let the kids pick and go nuts. They delivered!
** apparently this was a pandemic hobby for many people and there is a glut of massage tables on the market. He got one from a salon that closed down for like $75.
Def Anon for This says
My house is an absolute mess. Two kids under 6, two busy working parents, I get that I have some leeway — but I’m beyond deficient when it comes to tidying/cleaning. I’m completely ashamed and frankly don’t know where to start, and I actively avoid having people over because I’m embarrassed. I have so many clothes piled up in each bedroom (probably stuff I should get rid of anyway because kids have outgrown), there’s tons of paper and kids artwork all over the place, toys just strewn about, stuff piled on the kitchen counter (not dishes – we actually do those, and we’re completely on top of laundry too! – but just stuff where I don’t know where things go). I’m exhausted at all times and know I need to do better but I just cannot make myself clean up. And don’t get me started on our basement!
Any tips or commiseration? I know I just need to start, and probably with my own stuff first, but also I get the sense that I’m going to have zero help from my husband who has more clothes, books, and general crap than he knows what to do with and is largely the reason our room is packed with stuff.
CPA Lady says
The blog A Slob Comes Clean helped me massively when I was in a similar state of overwhelm.
It’s not written by someone who leaps out of bed and prances around her magazine-perfect, naturally tidy house. It’s written by some who has had to fight tooth and nail against her natural tendencies to descend into chaos. She has a podcast and books too, but I’d suggest starting with the blog and click on “my methods” at the top to get a bunch of links to her most helpful posts.
Anonymous says
Commiseration. I just had a total breakdown about this. I talked to my husband, and we assigned some extra responsibilities. The thing that really helped me was telling my husband that I need him to give me some time each weekend to tackle these projects. Starting is truly the hardest part. Tell yourself that you’ll spend 15 minutes going through something each night after the kids go to bed. I think you’ll be really surprised how quickly you make real progress, and that will motivate you to keep going.
Anonanonanon says
Yes and put on your noise-canceling headphones and listen to a podcast while you do it! Cleaning has become some of my only “alone” time the past year
Anon says
This describes me and most of my friends. I don’t think it’s that weird or something to be embarrassed about? It would be one thing if it were actual filth, like your toilets weren’t clean, but what you’re describing is just clutter.
Anonymous says
Some people are more stressed out by clutter than others. I find clutter so stressful that I can’t stand eating at those chain restaurants with cr@p hung all over the walls. It’s too much visual input and the dust grosses me out. If OP is anything like me, clearing the clutter will vastly improve her standard of living and mental well-being.
Anonymous says
This is me. I do not need a perfectly tidy house but I do need zones of clean and calm. Like the playroom might be a disaster but if I can sit and have a cup of tea in a clean front living room then my day is a million times better.
Anon says
That’s fair but it sounded like she was more worried about other people and what they would think and I just don’t think clutter is something to be embarrassed about when you have two tiny kids.
Anonymous says
IME, if a person is embarrassed by clutter it’s a sign that she doesn’t like clutter herself. People who are not bothered by clutter aren’t typically embarrassed of having other people see it.
Anonymous says
I feel this so hard. Part of it is accepting that this is a phase of life. Part of it is letting go of ‘stuff’ – donate what you can easily to friends/family/charity. Find a secondhand shop for anything in like new condition or with the tags still on. It’s not worth it to both selling stuff.
Set boundaries with your DH – like he can be messy but he has to keep his junk in the bedroom ( or den if the bedroom is stressful for you). Pick a couple hardline clean spots – for us it is the dining room table and the front hall table. No junk on those on matter what. Figure out realistic goals — DH used to leave his coats on the dining room chairs. Realistically he’s not going to magically start hanging them up all the time and I dump mine there too sometimes so I get it. But we discussed and he limits the coats to one chair. Side effect is that his coat chair fills up and then he hangs then up with no nagging.
I can’t control DH but I find that when my stuff is in order, I feel so much better. I aim for ten minutes each evening. You’ll never get it all done. Just do ten minutes and stop. Then again the next night. It’s like a brick wall, it builds faster than you think when you just do one brick at a time.
Anonymous says
My solution to clutter is to make it as easy as possible to put things away–easier than setting them down somewhere else, if possible. For example, if you have a designated spot for keys right next to the door you usually use (for us this is a wall bin next to the door to the garage), you will naturally drop your keys there on your way through the door and they won’t end up on the kitchen counter. I dump catalogues in the garage recycling bin on my way into the house. Etc.
Anonymous says
My husband is a born hoarder and I was practicing the what amounted to the KonMari philosophy before she wrote her book. Over the years I’ve gotten my husband on board with decluttering as he’s seen how much it improves our lifestyle. He is still 100% incapable of decluttering on his own. This weekend I got him to tackle a small dresser of his that was literally full of what amounted to trash–every pair of glasses he’s owned for the past 20 years (I thought he had donated those!), expired lotion, shopping bags and receipts from gifts he’d bought me, etc. I had to lead him through the process:
1. Husband holds up an item.
2. What even is this?
3. Are you going to use it?
4. Really?
5. When is the last time you used it?
6. Ew, it’s sticky!
7. Yes, you should get rid of it.
8. Here is the trash bag.
9. Repeat steps 1 – 8.
Choose-your-own adventure options for certain items that are not sticky:
1. Does it have sentimental value?
1a. Then doesn’t it belong on display or in your designated tub of keepsakes?
2. Is this a useful thing that belongs somewhere else in the house, like a screwdriver that belongs in the toolbox?
2a. [Put the thing away myself because he will never do it.]
Grand finale:
1. Oh, look, now you have a place to keep your headphones.
2. Nooooo do not just shove that shopping bag in there!
ANon says
Thank you for writing a biography of my life. Ordinarily I would bristle at the fact that this biography was unauthorized, but since you captured my life so accurately, I’ll let it go this time. ;)
Anonymous says
We. You keep blaming yourself but there are two adults in the house. It is unacceptable to let your husband not help.
Anonymous says
OP needs to start with her own stuff. It will be easier to recruit her husband to the joint cause once he’s seen her investment.
Anonymous says
I agree, and this might be a divide and conquer situation. My husband just doesn’t see/isn’t bothered by clutter the way I am. What works for us is that he takes more of the cooking, sweeping and vacuuming and that leaves me time for tidying. It’s about both adults pulling their weight, not evenly dividing every task.
Anonymous says
+1 for divide and conquer. My husband is a terrible organizer, so he does the laundry and cleans the floors while I tidy.
Anonymous says
This is how we do it. He vacuums and does all dishes and the tidying organization stuff is more on my plate.
Spirograph says
Commiseration. I am one of those who is stressed out by visual clutter. You can get it cleared out, but focus on chunks at a time rather than the whole overwhelming house.
I really like FLY Lady’s approach (ignore the cloying tone of the writing). She recommends starting with 3 baskets: put away, give away, throw away. Set a timer for 10 min to tackle one room, or even just one drawer, and don’t bite off more than you can chew. Her point is that it took more than one day for the clutter to accumulate, so it’s also going to take more than one day to fix it. Make steady progress, don’t beat yourself up or obsess. Be ruthless with what you actually keep while you’re doing this, and only keep things that you/your kids love and use.
Once you get the clear-out done, she has some good strategies to keep it from accumulating again — addressing “hot spots” before bed as part of your nighttime routine is particularly helpful for me.
Lyssa says
Total commiseration; this describes me, too, and, to be honest, it was not really all that much better even pre-kids. Here are two things that I’ve found helpful – first, the kids have to do some sort of room clean-up (their rooms, the family room, the play room) before they can watch videos or play video games. Second, I’ve tried to make a commitment to picking up one thing every time I walk through a room. Nothing big, just habitually, every time I walk in a room, I try to put one thing in place. It doesn’t really take any extra time, and adds up to a pretty big difference.
anon says
For clothes, we have a box in each kid’s closet for clothes that don’t fit. If a kid tries something on and it is too small, they are to put it in the box. Every season the box either goes to Goodwill or handed down to the younger sibling. I’ll also place out of season clothes that won’t fit the next season in the box.
Outgrown clothes need an easy destination so they don’t pile up.
Spirograph says
Yes. My system for clothes is bags of “recycle” and a box for donations in the laundry room (basement). If, as I’m folding laundry, I come across something that’s worn out, obviously too small, etc, it goes straight into the proper container. When I do seasonal swap out, I bring the containers with me and sort stuff straight out of the drawers/closet.
I find it easiest to do all of this without kid input, though. My kids will wear things that are way too small or full of holes just because they love them. If they don’t see [favorite item] in the drawer, they won’t miss it, but as long as it’s there, they’re going to wear it.
ANon says
I do this for my clothes as well. If I’m wearing something that really bothers me throughout the day (itches, too tight, I realize I just don’t like it), at the end of the day when I’m taking off my clothes, I put them right into a donation container. I don’t put it in the hamper to wash because by the time it gets laundered I will have forgotten how I felt on the day I was wearing it and it ends up back in the rotation.
Mary Moo Cow says
DH recently told me that the clutter in our house is like a low level constant noise for him, and that description galvanized me. He took the kids to the park for 2 hours recently so I could tackle all the projects I’ve been meaning to get to- piles of toys to donate, clothes to send to consignment, etc. I got 2 uninterrupted hours to purge and we all got a neater house. We do a sweep every night and rely on the night before our house cleaners come every other week to do a thorough straightening up, but every now and again I need a few solid child free hours to take care of my mess (because it is usually my stuff.)
octagon says
First, give yourself grace. Two littles in a pandemic is no joke.
Second, make peace with the fact that you won’t be able to get everything done in a day. But commit to yourself that you will make progress each (day/week) so that you have something to point to.
Third, tackle the easiest things first. Kid artwork that you want to save? Find a storage solution. We use the Bigso boxes from Container Store and at the end of the year send it off to ArtKive. Clothes that are outgrown? Put on your local Buy Nothing FB group or arrange a donation pickup. For the more complicated things, see if you can make small dent in them so you can start to think about longer-term solutions.
I’ve really tried to adopt the “touch it once” mantra for anything coming in the house. Keepsakes go in their place. Mail gets sorted and handled immediately (mostly). Once a week I sit down and deal with anything that got shunted aside for whatever reason. It’s a constant battle, so I feel you.
Anonanonanon says
I have ADHD and keeping a clean house was something I had to learn how to do. My bedroom is always a disaster, but the rest is so clean people comment on it. Here are some things that work for me:
-Sounds like the clothes situation is what you have to figure out first. I delay putting clothes away when they don’t easily fit into drawers or into the closet. You need to either get another dresser, get some of those space-saving bags you vacuum the air out of to store off-season clothes, or get rid of some clothes. When they have a spot and fit in the drawer, it’s less daunting.
-Staying on the piles of laundry theme, cut down the number of towels/sets of sheets in your home. If you’re a procrastinator like me, you’re going to wait until 4/5 sets of sheets for your bed are dirty before washing, because you have them! Then, you have 4 sets of sheets to fold and find a space for, which is just miserable and very overwhelming. Same with towels. We purged so every bed only has two sets of sheets, each person has two bath towels and two washcloths. We did save some old towels in the basement for big spills, stomach viruses, etc.
-Get some big baskets for the toys. You can purge later but, for now, have a place to collect them.
-Throw away the kid artwork. Really. Or give yourself until the end of the weekend to snap pictures of it and create a photo book. If you don’t do it by then, you need to toss it.
Outside of the laundry, what is the stuff that is causing the issues? You mentioned your kitchen counters, what is getting piled up?
Anon says
Start small—you don’t have do everything at once. Even a little bit counts.
I’ve had luck getting rid of things on my neighborhood Buy Nothing group on Facebook. Someone comes and picks up [whatever] from my porch, so stuff leaves the house more quickly than if I have to make the trip to Goodwill across town. Also, my family tends to feel good about giving things to people who are in need of [thing we really weren’t using], which makes it easier to get buy in to give things away.
Anon says
I recommend reading/skimming “The House That Cleans Itself” by Mindy Starns Clark. I learned about it on a podcast. The title is gimmicky and there are tie-ins to religion (I don’t know why) but if you skip past that, it has very good foundational tips. It teaches you to build your routine around your natural tendencies and problems vs trying to fight them with discipline. For example, my clothes always ended up on the floor in the bathroom after showering. I relocated the hamper to the bathroom and now it’s tidy. It’s all very basic but it worked for me to change how I thought about things and helped me develop a more natural rhythm. It also had tips about how you present a room as tidy even if it’s not totally. For example, I moved my kid’s toy shelf out of my eye line when I enter the room. Now the toys don’t have to be perfect for the room to look clean upon entry. My very tidy friend also confirmed some of the tips are things she does naturally.
Anonymous says
I’ll tell you what worked for my parents but would not work for my husband (a neat freak). My parents always kept one or two “dumping grounds” and the rest of the house was clean. So if my Dad couldn’t get around to sorting through the tons of paperwork (pre-everything being online) my mom would put it all in a garbage bag and it would go into our unfinished basement for when he would either (a) realize he needed something and go get it or (b) realize 5 years had passed and he could just throw it out in mass. Now that they are less nimble and the kids are out of the house, they use an empty bedroom for the same purpose. So, by that room alone (or previously the basement) they look like hoarders but the rest of the house is positively tidy and clean.
I do this on a very small scale. I have purgatory spots. If I don’t know whether to keep something or not it goes in purgatory (usually an empty dresser or the floor of a spare closet) and gets tossed out if I haven’t needed it a year later.
Anon says
For those that use melatonin for your kids to get to sleep easier at night, what brand do you use and where do you get it? This would be for a 5 year old.
Anon says
Zarbee’s, Target.
Anon says
+1 I only use it occasionally – like to reset after daylight savings, on a trip, or if they took a nap that day for some reason. It’s helpful!
Spirograph says
We also use only occasionally, because melatonin-induced sleep seems to be different quality than “natural” sleep for my kids. I’ve noticed that they’re kind of off in the morning if they’ve had a sleep gummy the night before. It’s hard to parse because usually want one if they’re struggling with going to sleep already, so maybe they would have been off the next morning, regardless. My 8 year old has actually said that he feels different in the morning after he has a sleep gummy and that they make him cranky.
Anonymous says
Agree. We use them to reset after jet lag from time zone crossing travel but they are not a good day to day solution for us.
Anonymous says
Try half the dose. A full adult dose of Melatonin (two gummies) makes me super groggy but one is just right.
anon says
Olly, Kids Sleep, Target.
If you give one it’s .5mg, which is plenty for my five year old (she takes it every night due to sleep onset insomnia from ADHD). We started with cutting those in half for .25 mg, which was enough for the first two years we gave it.
I like this brand because it includes chamomile and L-theanine, which my husband (who also takes melatonin regularly, also d/t neurological divergence) swears make a noticeable difference compared to melatonin alone.
Anon says
Any recs for a shampoo for a 1 year old who seems to have a sensitive scalp? He has been itching at the back of his head frequently and I think the shampoo we use is drying it out.
Anonymous says
We use the Fairy Tales brand. The detangling with the blue lid from Target. I don’t know that it specifically is moisturizing, but my kiddo has super dry skin, and her scalp has never been an issue. We also only wash her hair twice a week.
Anon says
We just started using Dr. Eddie’s Happy Cappy and have seen an improvement in my son’s very dry scalp.
Anonymous says
California Baby Super Sensitive.
anon says
How often are you washing? I’d wash less often.
Anonymous says
Yeah FWIW we only wash my son’s hair with soap 1x a week, and he’s almost 9. Try just rinsing it as much as you can.
Anon says
Sounds like a job for Head & Shoulders. It helps with seborrheic dermatitis, if that’s what he has. My kid’s cradle cap reemerged as a 1 year old and that cured it.
Anonymous says
Whatever you try, make sure it’s unscented. We like the Babo shampoo, but I think anything unscented is the place to start.
anon says
My Mother’s Day was very meh. I told my DH exactly what I wanted — a dessert from our one nice bakery in town — and he failed to deliver. Said he called Friday and they were no longer taking Mother’s Day orders. Yeah, that should not be a surprise, dude. Plan ahead a little more. The kids were crabby, DH was crabby (why?) and the weather was crummy so we didn’t get out and do anything other than visiting my MIL for a few hours. My DH is good at many things, but spoiling me is not one of them. And I never used to care, but now that we have bigger kids and no longer have the “overwhelm” excuse … well, I kind of care? IDK, I truly dislike this holiday. Everyone ends up feeling bad about something. At least I had nice phone chats with my sister and mom.
Anonymous says
Yeah, me too. My husband is just not great at holidays. He doesn’t care if I do anything for him for Father’s Day or his birthday, so I try not to look at this as a test of his love, fitness as a parent, partner, etc.
Anon says
It sounds like your husband is used to other people making plans: he doesn’t understand how things like that need to be done in advance. By magic, the cakes show up in time for birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Father’s Day… whoa, you mean you order them in advance?
(FWIW, I had a nice Mother’s Day: dinner out on Saturday, brunch at home on Sunday, lazed around until we went to evening Mass. My husband bought cards, one from him and one from the cat and the baby.)
Anon says
I had a crappy mother’s day too. Felt absolutely crummy.
Extra anon for this says
My husband gave me a card that said something along the lines of “Happy Mother’s Day to a woman who deserves much more today than I’m able to pull off without her help.” I appreciated the honesty. And he wrote a very nice message about how one of the things he appreciates about me as a parent is how I go above and beyond to make traditions for the kids and to make holidays special and give them memories. It was nice that he was just… honest that it wasn’t his strong suit. (Though, seriously, how hard is it to order flowers?!)
We did go to a late lunch the day before and had a minor spat over scheduling. I picked a few restaurants and sent them to him. He kept asking me what time and which did I prefer and this and that and I finally had to explain the whole point of this is that I don’t have to do the work, I literally gave you a list, for the love of god just make a reservation!!
Anon says
I have a husband who is similarly bad at planning. My solution in normal times is to plan a trip, either a weekend getaway or a bigger trip depending on how much time we have. I genuinely enjoy travel planning, it’s not the burden that ordering my own cake or flowers would be, and that way I know I will have fun. On the day itself I’m “1950s dad” as someone else described it – I spend time with my family but my husband changes diapers, wipes dirty faces, deals with meltdowns etc.
Anonymous says
TBH I would have waited until Friday to order for Sunday too…bummer that they have such a long lead time though.
Furniture? says
I am looking for an oversized living room chair that can fit me and a couple of small kiddos, isn’t too much of an eyesore, and holds up well (so probably not white.) Any ideas where I can find such a thing?
Realist says
I have been eyeing the Room and Board eos swivel chair. Never sat in one but it looks so comfy and versatile and the reviews are almost all love for the chair.
AnonATL says
I keep getting ads for those things and they look like such a comfy reading nook
AwayEmily says
Emily Henderson had a roundup of “chair and a halfs” on her blog awhile back. Some of them were great!
Anonymous says
We got the crate and barrel lounge chair and half several years ago and it is great for adult plus two smaller kids.
Anon says
I bought a very comfy chair and a half from Macy’s about a year ago – bonus that it comes with an ottoman you can store things in, and it folds out into a twin bed. I’ll post a link in another comment.
Anon says
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/radley-54-fabric-chair-bed-36-fabric-chair-bed-storage-ottoman-set-created-for-macys?ID=8252088
Preg Anon says
Any tips on telling my supervisor I’m expecting over the phone/zoom? I’ve done this twice before, but not remotely and not with this manager. For a variety of reasons, it will probably not be well-received due to staffing issues.
Anyone have a script? I’m kind of dreading it, but also wanting to get it off my chest. Due in early Oct.
Anon says
So I’ve had to make two semi-uncomfortable pregnancy reveals (uncomfortable for timing reasons). Both times it went much better than expected. I think I just said: “I am pregnant and due in ZYJ month. I am planning to take leave and will be back after that.” End stop, they said congratulations and that was it!
OP says
Thanks – this is reassuring! Did you schedule a separate meeting for this purpose?
Anonymous says
I would not schedule a mystery meeting. I did that, and my boss assumed I was either going to announce my pregnancy or resign.
Anon says
Haha, I think that’s an argument in favor of a mystery meeting! They’ll be relieved you aren’t quitting.
anon says
My biggest piece of advice is to treat it as a happy thing, because it is! Depending on your typical tone with your manager, I’d say: “Hey, while I have you, I wanted to share some good news. I’m pregnant! I’m due in early October, so we have time before we need to work out the details of my leave, but I wanted to let you know.” Any normal person will then congratulate you and have a conversation with you about how you’re feeling, etc. A super high-strung person may get nervous about your workload, but be calm and don’t worry about committing to anything on the spot. Ask for time to think about anything the manager brings up that you can’t answer right then.
NYCer says
+1. This is exactly the language I would use too. I wouldn’t schedule a separate meeting, I would just bring it up “casually” at the end of a different call.
Katala says
Yes, this is what I did and he was happy for me. I feel like maternity leave is so far into the future that current staffing issues don’t cause the same stress that it would if you needed time off in the near term or were quitting. At least for us, who knows where we’ll be staffing wise in 6 months, so there’s some space for them to be happy for you without panicking.
Aunt Jamesina says
Can you announce over email? Treat it like you would any other leave if you’re concerned about their reaction.
Anon says
I announced over email because I felt like scheduling a mystery meeting or phone call would worry my manager unnecessarily. It was totally fine over email and we chatted about it later. Not awkward.
Aunt Jamesina says
Yeah, it seems like NBD to do over email, especially if you’re WFH.
anon says
I announced on a group call where we were discussing long term scheduling and the two other female associates on the call use my announcement as an opportunity to also announce. The partner was not thrilled to have all of us go out on leave during the same two month period, but oops, life happens.
Anonymous says
Ha! this reminds me of a photo I saw a while ago in the news — some hospital had a couple dozen nurses who were all pregnant at the same time.
But to the OP, yes, I’d bring it up at the end of another meeting or anywhere it’s natural because you’re already discussing long term schedules. A regularly-scheduled one-on-one meeting with your manager would be ideal, if you have those. Or if you have the sort of working relationship where you can just say, “hey do you have a minute?” and call, you could do it that way.
Anon says
Bahahaha! Oh man, that’s wild.
So Anon says
I just want to put my head down and cry today: Saturday evening, I realized that my daughter (7yo) had a raised area near a tick-bite. It was in her hair earlier in the week, and I thought I got the tick in time, but the rash was there and she wasn’t feeling great on Saturday evening. We live in northern New England, so tick borne illnesses are a known thing. My mom assured me that we could wait until morning, and so I spent the night with my daughter in my bed. I didn’t sleep that night because I was/am worried about her. Sunday morning, my kids so sweetly tried to bring me breakfast in bed (toast). We got up, I made breakfast for them, I reserved our spot online for urgent care. We spent several hours at urgent care. My daughter is presumed to have a tick borne illness and is on antibiotics for two weeks. We got home and I kinda napped while snuggled with my daughter.
Sunday afternoon, my son (10yo) said that his thumb hurt. He had a toy puncture between his nail and nailbed on Saturday and was developing an infection. I spent time with him caring for his thumb, and he was unable to do most things for himself on Sunday because it was on his dominant thumb. I had two elementary school kids crying and needing my time and love at the exact same time, and I haven’t had that kind of tug on me since they were little. I’m exhausted and tired today, and kinda snappish. Ugh.
Anonymous says
I’m sorry you’re tired, but do you have anxiety? This level of worry over treatable infections is a bit extreme. You caught the Lyme disease. That’s great! You’re a good, vigilant parent.
Anon says
Eh I don’t have anxiety but Lyme is not NBD. I know multiple people who were chronically ill from it for years. Sounds like OP caught it early and hopefully her daughter will be fine but tick borne illness is worthy of a freakout IMO. It would scare me more than Covid, tbqh.
Anonymous says
Yes but she caught it early! I’m from PA so yes of course I know you need to be careful. I mean strep throat can cause rheumatic fever, but we get our kids antibiotics and move on.
Anon says
I don’t think the strep throat analogy is fair. That’s an extremely rare complication, and Lyme is often serious. I dunno, we all have our “things” but ticks and tick borne illnesses really freak me out and I’m not anxious in general.
Anon says
Lyme can be a big deal if it’s not caught early. One of my friends ended up having to drop out of middle school and she finished high school at home. But it sounds like the op was on top of it and that it all ended well. All that running around would stress me out, too.
So Anon says
It was the unexpected running around – time at Urgent Care, then the lab for bloodwork, then the pharmacy – with both kids on my own. When I told their dad that we were at urgent care and the initial prognosis was Lyme, he just responded, “ok.” Then trying to manage two tired and hurting kids in the evening was alot. It wasn’t the mother’s day that I had planned in my head, which had a low bar to begin with.
Anonymous says
I think you would be happier if you let go of all expectations about your ex’s behavior and reactions to things. You are the primary parent and he is someone they visit sometimes if that happens to work out. He is not a support person for you, and a response of “ok” when you tell him your daughter might have Lyme is par for the course.
You really need that summer camp break.
Anonymous says
I’m sorry, this would be upsetting any time, but the hype around Mother’s Day and subliminal pressure to enjoy it definitely adds insult to injury.
I’m glad you caught the tick reaction early. Best wishes for an effective course of antibiotics, and I hope your son’s thumb heals up quickly. It’s tough when kids are hurting and your ability to insta-solve the problem is limited. It pushes all my mama bear buttons, too. (And yes, you need the summer camp break!)
GCA says
Hugs. I’m sorry, and I hope your kids are ok. Even if you have no expectations around ‘enjoying’ Mother’s Day, the occasion still adds to the pressure and makes the day that little bit harder emotionally. But you know what — you are doing an amazing job. You are an amazing mom. We’re rooting for you. Hang in there.