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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
OBGYNs in NYC says
I posted this on the general corporette site before realizing I should’ve asked here first! I just found out I’m pregnant and am a little confused on how to go about finding a good OBGYN. I live in NYC, none of my close friends have kids, and I don’t want to ask colleagues. I’ve been told to first figure out which hospital I want to deliver at, then find the doctors affiliated with that hospital…but have no idea how to evaluate which hospital is better. Would appreciate any recommendations, first hand experiences, or just general tips as I’m pretty overwhelmed. Thanks in advance!
NYCer says
I think most of the hospitals in NYC are fairly similar to be honest. FWIW, I delivered at Mount Sinai West and had a great experience. You have to pay for a private room (we did this, it is about $900 per night), but I think that is the norm at all the hospitals in the city. The nurses were all fantastic and the private room was nice enough. I also have friends who have delivered at NYP, Lenox Hill and Mount Sinai (east) who had good experiences. Do not know anyone who delivered at NYU.
My gyn is also an OB, so I did not need to find a new doctor. I picked her when we first moved to NYC based on proximity to my apartment. There are a lot of prenatal appointments, so honestly, and especially now with COVID, I would pick a doctor that is close to your apartment (assuming you are working from home). Walking distance would be ideal. ZocDoc lets you search by zip code I think, and also has reviews.
Spring mom says
Where are you in NYC? I live in downtown Manhattan. Saw Dr Feldman at Spring ob/gyn and delivered at NYU (multiple pregnancies). I don’t even remember how I found Spring in the first place, but it all worked out okay. Do you have a gyn currently, or an internist you could ask for some names?
OP here says
This is going to sound bad but i haven’t been to a gyn in almost a decade (been with the same partner and just got lazy). I don’t even have a family doctor as I almost never get sick and just go to CityMD if there are any serious issues. I live in LIC right now so I’m thinking either NYU or Mt Sinai east would be closest to me.
Anonymous says
Can I recommend that when you look for pediatricians, one factor to consider might be whether they’re in a clinic with family practice, too? We really appreciate all being in the same system now.
Anon says
+1. In the DC suburbs, but it’s really convenient to have everyone under one roof, and, for example, when we all have the same cold they will book us all into the same sick visit. For me it was important to have a board-certified pediatrician on staff for kiddo (which our family practice does) – we use him for her well-child checks but he’s also the primary doc DH sees (and then when we are sick we see whoever).
Anon says
I saw Vanessa Pena for my first before I moved away and liked her – at that time I was working in downtown Manhattan so I have to confess I partially chose her for convenience to my office.
Previous Poster says
also congrats! A friend saw Po Fong and liked her too.
Anonymous Complaint says
I did not like Dr. Fong (loved Dr. Pena). One week I’m ushered into an unscheduled sonogram because I’m “measuring small” and the next appointment Dr. Fong literally gives me side-eye over gaining too much weight. I’m still f’n furious. Of course she ended up delivering my daughter.
I also found aftercare at Downtown really lacking — I had stitches and no one checked them before I left (and some tore out a few days later and I healed….asymmetrically.) There was also a tray of bloody tools left in a corner of the L&D room that my husband saw and pointed out. I would not go back there during a pandemic.
Anonymous says
Pena ended up delivering both of my babies! Love everyone at that practice, including Dr Fong. I have recommended that practice to all my colleagues and everyone has been very happy. Also impressed by NYP LoMa both times- very different from what the other poster described.
Anon says
I highly recommend Spring OBGYN located in Soho. They deliver at NYU. I’d heard Cornell/NYP was the best hospital to deliver at; I delivered my second there (I had changed insurance and Spring no longer covered me) and actually had a really bad experience (nothing like malpractice like just was generally neglected and left uninformed despite having to deliver in an emergency scenario due to preeclampsia). Especially for first time moms I really recommend NYU Langone. The nurses are just incredible.
NYC says
I have an anti-recommendation for Mount Sinai West. I had a horrific experience there back when it was still St Luke’s Roosevelt made worse by their lack of nurses. I know that’s a challenge at most NYC hospitals
I’m not sure what the situation is these days with COVID but I’d highly recommend a doula, just so you have an informed advocate, even if you are not wedded to some perfect birth plan. I didn’t have any illusions of having a fairy tale birth but they left my post birth complications get to a state where it almost killed me.
NYCer says
As I mentioned above, I gave birth at MSW in 2019 and had a fantastic experience. Tons of nurses, all super helpful, especially post-partum. Sorry that you had such a horrific experience! But it does seem like it has improved since you were there. (I have several friends who have also had good experiences there in the last year or so – all pre Covid, I don’t have any intel what it is like currently.)
Redux says
PSA: you can buy a 5-pack of reusable cloth masks with ties around the head from The Reformation in L.A. and they ship SAME DAY. Plus, in July they are donating a mask for every mask purchased. You can also donate directly on their site.
I bought a bunch of multi-packs yesterday to try out a few different brands/fits, and this one shipped within hours.
AwayEmily says
Thanks! And if you have time, it would be great to hear your thoughts once they all arrive.
SG says
Adding to this- I got some from Target that shipped next day and cost $4/2pack. They offer 2 adult sizes and 1 for a small child. The L/XL is a little big for me but I plan to adjust the straps using a kid’s hair elastic.
We also got a pack of 50 disposable masks at Costco for $19 that we plan to keep in our cars.
anon says
Good morning, first time here as I am 7 weeks (and 1 day) pregnant after a long infertility journey (yay!) I’m hoping to tap the wisdom and experience of y’all. I had an IUI, so we know my cycle dates pretty well and at my ultrasound yesterday, the baby was measuring a little small (4 days behind – I was 7 weeks and baby measured 6w3d). The doctor/reproductive endocrinologist did not say it was doomsday and had seen babies measuring further behind turn out totally fine but I think did want me to be aware that there are always risks. I have another ultrasound next week with another doctor in the practice (which I like because it will offer more perspectives), but until then I’m worrying but trying to be optimistic and encourage this baby to grow! Has anyone had a smaller measuring baby that turned out fine?
Marshmallow says
Yep, although it was much later in the pregnancy so might not be a good comparison. I had to have weekly ultrasounds for the last 8 or so weeks of my pregnancy because baby was measuring small. Baby was totally fine, born right around the tenth percentile. She’s just a small kid.
Anon says
I know you’re trying to be helpful but measuring small in late pregnant is completely different than measuring small in early pregnancy. Fetal growth is pretty standardized through a certain point, I think at least 10 weeks and measuring even a day or two behind can be a red flag. In the third trimester there’s huge variation due to genetics and other factors. Healthy full term babies have a huge weight range, at least 6-10 pounds or so, so of course they can be different sizes close to delivery without anything being wrong.
Anon Lawyer says
A day or two isn’t a red flag early on; this is overly alarmist. There’s a margin of error even early on.
Anon says
Fair enough, but it’s certainly a much smaller margin of error than in the third trimester, and having a baby that’s just genetically smaller doesn’t translate to measuring behind in the first few weeks of pregnancy.
Anon says
I’m currently 28 weeks with an IVF pregnancy, and around 7/8 weeks I had an ultrasound where I was measuring about 3 days behind. I’ve been on-track since, and baby girl is currently measuring in the 90th percentile for how far along I am. Sending you all the good wishes!
anon says
:) Thank you and good luck to you and baby girl!
Anonymous says
Did they see fetal pole and normal heart tones? If so, then I wouldn’t worry although of course your visit next week will be more informative and wishing you all the best! My now-2.5 year old was measuring a couple days behind at one of her early ultrasounds (not quite 4 days if I recall correctly) and my RE wasn’t worried about it and everything turned out just fine. So it’s possible.
anon says
Yes – fetal pole was there and grown since the week before. Heart rate was within the normal range but a little on the lower end of the range.
Anon says
At my 8 week confirmation appointment, baby measured at 6+4 weeks (not IUI so we were not as certain of dates but I had been tracking my cycle and had a pretty good idea of when I ovulated and because of travel I didn’t think I could be only 6+4 weeks pregnant). So I had a nerve wracking 2 week wait until I had a second ultrasound at 10 weeks. Baby was still measuring behind so they moved my due date back 10 days. I delivered an almost 9 lbs baby at 40+1 weeks. No one in my family or my husband’s family has ever had a baby over 6lbs 6oz (we were both under that as well), so I maintain I really was 8 weeks at my confirmation appointment (so when I delivered I was almost 2 weeks overdue which makes my giant chubby baby make a lot more sense). But hugs, the waiting is really hard. I basically told myself I wasn’t pregnant for those 2 weeks to make it bearable (I had no morning sickness or nausea).
Anonymous says
Yes there’s always a risk of miscarriage, but ultrasounds aren’t perfect. My bubs measured 3 days behind, he will be one next week. I think something that can help is the saying “today I am pregnant” until you know you’re not. I’ve also done extensive research but after you see a heartbeat the rate of miscarriage drops dramatically, and keeps dropping every week of pregnancy.
Anon Lawyer says
My RE told me that 3 days was within the margin of error for measurements that early on. So a baby measuring 3 days behind or 3 days ahead could literally be precisely day-of. Four days behind sounds like not a big deal and I’ve certainly heard plenty of stories of babies measuring 4 days behind that early and it being a non-issue. If I remember correctly, my now-8-month-old measured 2-3 days behind at the first couple of ultrasounds (the first was at 6w6d.
Hearing the heartbeat is a great sign. I don’t think being a little lower on the range matters at that point. It’s being outside the range that matters.
Obviously it’s impossible not to worry – anyone who’s done fertility treatments knows where you are right now. I remember calling my RE and begging for an extra ultrasound because I wasn’t getting morning sickness and I read some stupid bit in Expecting Better about how that was a bad sign. But once you’ve seen a heartbeat, the odds are in your favor. We’ll be rooting for you.
AnonATL says
I was not an IUI or IVF pregnancy, but was very aware of my conception and implantation date, and even my measurements were low at first. Now I’m 37ish weeks and kid has been measuring about a week ahead from 12w and on.
I think early on it’s not a big deal. It just depends on how far behind and how long it persists. I wouldn’t worry yet, especially if they didn’t express concern.
Gluten-free newbie says
Looking for advice for eliminating gluten from my child’s diet. Our family has never had dietary restrictions, but due to a recent severe bout of eczema, we’re desperate for try anything that might help. I want the whole family to follow the diet so child does not feel left out. Please share your favorite products, recipes, and tips to make the experience as easy as possible.
Anon says
I had to eliminate gluten due when I was bfing due to baby having an allergy; my top piece of advice is that most gluten free breads/crackers/etc. are just terrible; I was happier when I just ate things that naturally don’t have gluten. One big exception is gluten free pasta, which is almost indistinguishable. I ate a lot of rice, potatoes and sweet potatotes instead of bread – if you use GF soy sauce many asian foods will not otherwise involve wheat, so that’s a good cuisine to pursue. Also oatmeal and cheerios in the morning or smoothies. Hardest thing for me was lunches / eating on the fly at work – I started being more diligent about bringing my lunch every day. that and pizza, which is my one true love :(
avocado says
I have an extended family member who is GF by choice, and I have to cook for her for a week at a time pretty regularly. It’s very important to her that everyone make an obvious effort to accommodate her lifestyle preference, so I try to serve the same food to everyone as much as possible. I have found it easiest and cheapest to avoid GF processed foods that imitate gluten-containing foods, and stick to foods that are naturally GF. For example, lunch is a salad with quinoa instead of sandwiches. Dinner is tacos or enchiladas on corn tortillas instead of flour tortillas. Breakfast is the Shalane Flanagan superhero muffins that use almond meal instead of flour. Dessert is flourless chocolate cake or ice cream.
If you must use substitutes, my GF relative likes Udi’s GF bread and Trader Joe’s GF baking mixes. Our nuclear family does not usually eat the GF processed foods because we’ve found that they tend to cause digestive upset. I think it’s because many of them are ultra-processed, lacking in fiber, and sometimes full of thickeners. We have been able to tolerate black bean pasta, even though we don’t like the taste and texture much.
Anonymous says
Ewwww
Anon says
It’s processed, but Amy’s has a lot of frozen products that are gluten free and taste delicious. No one in my family is gluten free but my toddler and I really enjoy a lot of their rice pasta bowls. I think I almost prefer it to regular pasta.
Realist says
We went gluten free (also gave up cow milk) after two alternative medicine practitioners suggested it for my asthmatic child and I wish we had done it sooner. Helped the asthma so much.
Focus mostly on whole, fresh foods. Practically every meal for us is a protein, fresh fruit, and fresh veggies. Googling recipes for Whole30 and Paleo diets will bring up recipes for almost anything (paleo pizza, paleo chicken, etc). Keto recipes will work too if you are eating dairy.
Embracing it as a chance for clean and healthy eating as a family can help with mindset.
If your child tolerates almonds, Simple Mills has a lot of almond-flour products. Crackers, cake mix, etc. We try to focus on fresh foods, but these can be nice treats.
Snacks: nut butters, fruits, fruit bars, seeds (pumpkin, sunflower, etc), jerky and meat sticks, rice crackers, almond flour crackers, smoothies, eggs, carrot sticks with hummus, corn tortilla, potato or corn chips (read ingredients), organic oatmeal, banana chips, guacamole, applesauce. Our child seems to be sensitive to glyphosate contamination (that might be it more than the gluten, honestly), so it can be worthwhile to pay attention to that. Some things, like beans and gluten-free baking mixes, nonorganic oatmeal, and many foods you might normally consider “healthy” are notorious sources and you might want to choose those foods very carefully or skip them.
Breakfast: eggs, banana pancakes, oatmeal, bacon, sausage, almond flour muffins, rice or oat cereals, gluten free granola
Lunch and Dinner: almost always a protein, a vegetable, and a fruit. Lunch usually has fresh, raw veggies. The dinner veggie is usually roasted or sautéed. Rice often included with dinner. Special meals might include Daiya Mac-n-cheese, gluten free chicken tenders, Daiya pizza, gluten free corn dogs.
Give it time to work. If our family slips up and gluten sneaks into a meal, we notice the backslide lasts 15-16 days. If the diet works, I would expect noticeable improvement after about 2 weeks. Try for 4 weeks before you give up. About every year it is worth it to do a trial run to see if they have outgrown it. Let them have a bunch of gluten one day (at least 3 servings) and observe over the next 5 days. You will know if it is making a difference or not.
My other tip is to make sure that #2 is moving for your kiddo. That seems to often be a problem in kids with an allergy/eczema profile and it is so important for everything else. Fiber, prune juice, the P fruits, do what you need to do to keep things moving.
Coach Laura says
I agree with Avocado – don’t base meals around the GF substitutes like bread because they aren’t very nutritional, taste funny, are expensive and aren’t always good. I’d make meals based around potatoes – baby, sweet potatoes or russet; rice, brown rice, quinoa and corn. I like rice or polenta as a base for pasta sauce. Although brown rice pasta (Jovial brand or trader joe’s) doesn’t taste weird to gluten-eaters and cooks pretty well. Corn tortillas are usually ok but you’ll have to read the label. Tacos are a staple in my house. Naturally gf meals are tacos, chili, stews, Indian curry, stirfries (with gf soy sauce or tamari), soups. The author of Iowa Girl Eats blog has three young kids and has many good recipes that are family friendly.
If you do the bread, Udi’s is ok and trader joe’s gf bagels are wonderful. For crackers and chips, Nut-thins would be good snacks for kids and many tortilla chips and potato chips are gf.
For treats, Betty Crocker cake mixes taste good and are foolproof so if you need a birthday cake, those are great. I don’t like the trader joe’s mixes.
For cookies, I make three-ingredient flourless peanut butter cookies or the world’s easiest cookies. Peanut butter ones are 1 cup smooth peanut butter (I use natural but some people like standard Jif better), 1 cup sugar, 1 teaspoon vanilla and 1/2 teaspoon baking power, mixed. Add one egg, mix. Add in 1/2 cup chocolate chips if desired. Makes 15-18 cookies. Bake at 350F degrees for 8-10 minutes, don’t let them brown.
Make the worlds easiest cookies then dip cooked cookie into melted chocolate chips.
https://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-the-worlds-easiest-cookies-just-happen-to-be-paleo-vegan-and-gluten-free-230608
Good luck!
Ifiknew says
Just curious what you mean by severe eczema? I have a child with allergies and eczema too so curious how severe and how you know gluten is the cause?
Anonymous says
OP here – thanks for the excellent tips, please keep them coming!
More info: eczema has caused scaly, raised, and red patches on all limbs, back of neck, and face, and my child wakes in the middle of the night due to itching. Daily oral medicines and prescription topicals have only been partially effective in controlling condition. When eczema first presented a couple years ago, child had a skin prick test and was found not to have allergies. I’ve read that even if foods do not “cause” eczema, foods can exacerbate the condition. I had put off eliminating foods because, as a family that eats everything, it would take many months to properly eliminate each potential food irritant. But now, I’m desperate so will try eliminating gluten as that seems to be the most discussed food link.
Go for it says
For the rashes try oatmeal milk baths. Som otc are good but pricey. I put 1c dry oatmeal + 1c powdered milk in a bandana & rubber band it. Put in tub & swish. When water gets milk cloudy, then use the bundle to wash over the whole body. Try to keep hair out of the water to eliminate having to rinse. Pat dry with clean towel when done. Doesn’t leave any sticky residue.
The bundle can be emptied into garbage & cloth rinsed out. It sounds like a lot but it really provides relief.
Good luck!
Anonymous says
Late in posting but my youngest (2) has an almost as bad eczema. Wakes her up itching but is only on her thighs, feet and wrists. None of my other kids had/have it. Steroids sorta work, a little.
Hers is triggered by heat/intense sun and goes away entirely when it cools off.
Anon says
there is a blogger – mix and match family – who recently had to go gluten free bc one of her kids has celiac and she has done lots of product and recipe posts
Anon says
Talk to your doctor, but I would not make the whole family go GF. Eliminating gluten in healthy people can actually cause sensitivities down the road. Maybe your family meals (like dinner) can be GF, but I would make sure the rest of you are still getting some exposure to gluten.
Anon for this says
Has anyone had breast implants who is willing to share you experience, cost, and whether you would do it again? I’m not looking for a huge change but after breastfeeding two kids and having some asymmetry, I am seriously considering it. I have a consultation with a highly recommended surgeon next week. Part of me feels like it is silly to spend this amount of $$ on vanity, but I’ve been thinking about it for some time.
EB says
I did, about 12 years ago, when I was 22. It was around 7-8K, under the muscle with silicon. I would do it again, but I would get a smaller size. The operation and recovery was NBD. I did deal with supply issues breastfeeding, which I attributed to some scarring on one side where the surgeon did what I would call “shaping” work – to try to fix some asymmetry. Sounds like you’re done with kids, but just in case, I would 100% not spend the money or effort if you aren’t.
Before I did it, I thought about my size ALL the time. I mean, I was a teenager and in my early 20s, so I didn’t have great perspective and body image was just a bigger deal then, but still. ALL the time. Afterwards, never. It just stopped being a weight on my shoulders. So there’s a lot of ways to look at spending money on vanity, but if you feel like you might have a similar change, I would say it’s worth it.
Coach Laura says
Has cbackson had her baby yet? I haven’t seen anything but I’m not here everyday.
Anonymous says
She’s been on the main page and I think she did have her baby!
cbackson says
I did! I am sitting here feeding the little guy the now :). He’s a month old (omg, how is he already a month old????)
Coach Laura says
Congratulations!