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I saw these Laura Mercier eyeshadows being used in a makeup tutorial and immediately knew I would love them. I am not great at applying eyeshadow and I like any product with a consistency where I can use my fingers instead of a brush. I looked at these online and wanted to see them in person before purchasing, so I wandered into a Sephora while picking up lunch, tried out a few colors with the testers on my hand, and the rest is history. The color I chose was “intense moonlight,” and it has a nice shine without straying too youthful. I put it right on my lashline and it brightens up my eyes without having layers of eye makeup on. I can see myself slowly replacing all of my powdered shadows with these sticks! They are $29 each and available in many colors. Caviar Stick Eye Shadow
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Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
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- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
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- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
anne-on says
So I have (and love these) but I will say that the product has a tendency to come loose and fall out. I now always open them upright so I can gently push the product back into the tube. Learned that one the hard way after half of the product fell out into my hotel bathroom sink on a work trip. On the plus side these do mean that I no longer pack eyeshadow quads/brushes any longer! I also have oily lids and find these easily stay 12+ hours on me.
ElisaR says
that happens to my LM stick too….
also when wearing it my husband (who rarely comments) said “it looks like it’s new years eve on your eyelids”… I said “is that bad?” he said “well it’s not new years eve.”
so maybe i picked the wrong color
avocado says
Every time I try to wear this product, it doesn’t look right and I end up taking it off. The application is imprecise, and the product is too thick to blend well with one’s fingertip after application, so it just makes a big mess. And I’ve had the same problem as others with the product falling out of the container.
Cate says
I’m chiming in because I love this product. The amethyst is my go-to smoky eye (it’s all I use plus mascara) and I find it pretty foolproof! And there are a couple nude colors I use when I just want to remove redness and go for the no-makeup makeup look. These are my holy grail!
Tweeter says
I love it too! Amethyst is also my go to. But for a normal neutral work look (with eyeliner!). I’ve been wearing it every day.
Leatty says
It’s only mid-January and I’m already daydreaming about my next vacation. Anyone care to help me find the right destination? We have one week (sans toddler) in early April, and we will be flying from the SE. Here are my criteria:
(1) Zika free (assuming this pregnancy sticks, I’ll be 5 months pregnant)
(2) Travel time under 12 hours
(3) Good food
(4) Great spas or other relaxing opportunities
(5) Not hot (highs <80)
(6) Beautiful scenery
Suggestions?
Anonymous says
France
So Anon says
Two ideas!
(1) Bermuda may check all of your boxes. FWIW, the spa at the Hamilton Princess (not the one in town) was one of the most amazing spas ever! I went when I was late in my first trimester and it was wonderful. If you go, get a room with a balcony and they will set up room service right on the balcony for you. Amazing.
(2) The Salamander Resort outside of DC in Virginia. You can fly into Dulles and drive out to the resort in beautiful farm country. The Salamander is absolutely gorgeous, the spa is divine (rain showers and other fun things that you could enjoy while pregnant) and the rooms are so comfortable and heavenly. Great restaurants on site. April is so beautiful in Virginia.
Anonymous says
Agree about the spa at the Fairmont Southhampton (the Hamilton Princess is the one in town). But April will be too chilly for much ocean swimming if that’s your thing. Fine for beach walks etc. I enjoyed the property beach for swimming/lounging and the public beach next door for long walks.
Anonymous says
Hmm I feel like Aus/NZ and Asia are out because of travel time and in Europe good food tends to be relatively incompatible with beautiful scenery? Like, I’d put Iceland and Norway at the top of the scenery list but they have pretty terrible food. And early April is not the right time for the Alps. Maybe Portugal or Italy? You wouldn’t get capital S scenery, but you’d get great food, charming cities and pretty coastal areas? I feel like pretty much anywhere you go you can find a luxury hotel with a good spa, so I wouldn’t focus on that part of it so much unless it’s the most important part to you.
NYCer says
Hawaii? I am not sure where in the SE you are coming from so it may or may not be less than 12 hours of travel time. And it also might be pushing your limit on temps, though I tend to find the warm weather in Hawaii to be less oppressive than the warm/hot weather elsewhere. My pick for hotels would be the Mauna Kea or the Four Seasons Lanai.
Early April is fairly chilly in much of Europe, but if you’re up for a city vacation, Barcelona is pretty great in the spring.
Pigpen's Mama says
The Omni at Grove Park Inn in Asheville. The spa was amazing, it’s beautiful, there are some easy hikes near by, playground on the premises, I am pretty sure there’s an indoor pool, and the spa is amazing (I’m mentioning this twice). The breakfast buffet was so good, other meals were okay, but we had some good food in Asheville.
anne-on says
Seville? You might be able to hit the Festival which is an awesome time to visit.
anon says
I’d go to Sicily. Not sure what your budget is, but Taormina is lovely and should be less crazy (and less pricey) at that time bc it’s off-season. Syracuse is also really nice and I’ve heard great things about Palermo although I haven’t been there.
Anonymous says
Chiming in to say Vancouver and/or Vancouver Island. Which has been on my bucket list for about a year now and has nothing to do with Meghan and Harry!! But now I fear it will lose some of its appeal as it has a moment because of them.
Anonymous says
I’m 5 months post-partum and have started to get annoying dandruff. Any suggestions? Thanks!
Anonymous says
Head and Shoulders
rakma says
What kind of flakes are you getting? If it’s oily and itchy, I’d use TSal, if that doesn’t work try the T-Gel, it smells to high heavens but will remove all of the flakes. ( I use the store brand of both, works just as good as the Neutrogena) If it’s dryer and flaky, try Head and Shoulders, one of the formulas that claims to be moisturizing. I also sometimes will condition my scalp (I’m usually an ends-only conditioner)
I also find that drying my hair, particularly in the winter, helps to lessen the dandruff, but YMMV on that one.
I wish I had less knowledge of this issue.
Anon says
Aveda salons sell a scalp treatment shampoo and conditioner that smell great!
Audrey III says
Looking for something special to do in the DC area with my almost 2YO for her birthday. I’m taking the day off of work; we’ve had a warm spell but just looked at the weather and it’s going to be 37 on her birthday next week (yikes!) which makes an outdoor activity like the zoo sound much less appealing. Anyone have any fun ideas?
AwayEmily says
Building museum!
rosie says
It’s closed until March (or somewhere around then).
rosie says
It’s closed until March (or somewhere around then).
sorry if this is a duplicate comment
rosie says
Museum of the American Indian has a fun kid area that I don’t think would be too crowded (check the schedule, they may close for school groups sometimes during the week). And then the cafeteria has a lot of fun toddler treat food.
Govtattymom says
I randomly took a day off work to spend with my similarly aged child this summer. We had breakfast at a coffee shop and went to nook playspace. It was such a fun day!
Anonymous says
Wegman’s Wonderplace? Sadly the National Childen’s Musuem isn’t open quiiite yet.
octagon says
When kiddo was that age we would get to the National Museum of American History a few minutes before it opened and make a beeline for Wonderplace! He’d spend 60-90 minutes there, then we’d go to the cafe for a snack and then he’d be ready for a nap.
Spirograph says
The zoo has lots of good indoor areas, if you still want to try that. Amazonia is always warm! Small mammals, reptiles, apes, and elephants are all indoors. With the exception of Amazonia, they’re kind of all in a row, too, so you don’t have to be cold for very long from one building to the next.
Natural History is always a favorite with my kids. They have a dinosaur exhibit now, if that’s appealing. I’ve heard good things about the Botanical Garden, but admittedly haven’t made it there yet.
Audrey III says
Thank you everyone!! I love all of these ideas.
Pogo says
Morning hive. Talk to me about toddler bed transition. I was hoping to keep kiddo in the crib as long as possible but he’s now climbed out 3 times. This morning at 4:30 it was because he’d dropped his blankey – he truly did just want to grab the blankey and go back to bed, but while he can climb out, he can’t climb back in. It’s time, right?
How long does it take to make the transition? Is it like a 1-2 week period of “oh wow my new freedom I’m going to act up and not go to bed” or is it longer? We have been hashtag blessed with a kid who 99% of the time goes to bed and we don’t hear from him until we wake up in the morning. I’m terrified to lose that!
avocado says
Reassuring anecdata: We moved ours straight from the crib to a twin bed without a rail at age 2y3mo because she was climbing out of the crib. As far as we knew, she never once got out of bed during the night. We put a knob cover on the inside of her door to keep her in her room just in case she did get up.
Caveat: She had already given up napping at home by that point. I don’t know whether she would have been so likely to stay in bed during naptime.
Anonymous says
Seconding that it might be a non-issue! We stressed about this a lot with our twins, but when we took the sides off their cribs at 2y8mo absolutely nothing happened. They still chat/sing/fight before falling asleep, especially at naptime, but they do all that while sitting or lying in their beds, just like they did in their cribs. They’ve never gotten out of their beds until we come in to say it’s time to get up.
(In the interest of full disclosure, we know one other set of twins who doesn’t get up, but two other sets who do run around and play with each other, so there is so ‘mode of toddler’ variance here.)
AwayEmily says
Echoing the “it might be fine!” thing. We transitioned at 3.5 and never had any issues with getting up.
Pogo says
Thank you! He’s going to be with my mom and dad overnight for a few days while DH and I are both away on business trips in a few weeks, and I worry about moving him now (or in the next week) and then he’s a terror at night time for them. Right now he’s just so easy to put to bed (once you convince him to stop playing downstairs and make the move), I’ve gotten spoiled!
He does successfully nap on a mat/cot at daycare, so maybe I need to check with them how they enforce that. Though I suspect like much of daycare magic it’s peer pressure and non-parent authority more than anything else.
Anonanonanon says
Both times it took my (normally smart?) children about a week to realize getting out of their bed was even an option. Granted, I moved them each to a floor bed at around 18 months, but the first week was always smooth and then there were some bumps when they realized they could get out of bed. However, for both of my kids, it made bedtime easier in the long-run, because if they weren’t ready to sleep they could get up and grab a stuffed animal to chatter to etc. instead of fussing and hoping for an adult to come in and entertain them. My first would pass out in random spots in the room, and I would go in and move him when I went to bed. My second is good about crawling back into bed when she’s ready to go to sleep and so that hasn’t been an issue.
FWIW, We have a childproof thing on the doorknob of the bedroom so the toddler can’t get out, which probably helps. I know that’s controversial with some people, but the toddler isn’t even 2 yet, so I don’t think she was going to get herself out of the room if there was a fire or other emergency anyway.
Pogo says
Gotcha. Yeah, the passing out in random spots is something I could see happening, good to know that happens and it resolves eventually!
Allie says
Echoing the it may not be a problem. It actually took our kiddo around 8 months to realize that she actually could get herself out of bed. She’d get in bed on her own, but wait for us to come and get her in the AM, we did the promptly, and she didn’t actually figure out that she to get up out of bed until she was much older.
drowsy but awake says
Can someone please explain how to do this successfully? I’ve tried countless times to put my 5 week old down drowsy but as soon as he hits the bassinet, he’s fussing and eventually wakes up fully. I’ve tried with naps and nighttime and it just never works for me. Any tips? He’s already fed, swaddled, with noise machine . . .
Anonymous says
In my (limited) experience, drowsy but awake is not a thing. I had to put mine down fully asleep until around 4 months, when he finally started being able to fall asleep in the crib.
Anonymous says
+1. For my first, it is still not a thing (he’s 3). For my 2nd, he loves the sleep and will happily cuddle with his pillow before falling asleep. But he didn’t start doing this until 13 months or so.
Anon says
+1. My 2.5 year old has never succeeded with drowsy but awake. At bedtime (since birth) she is either 1) asleep in my arms and transferred, 2) drowsy but hysterically crying awake in her bed or 3) (only in the past couple of weeks) rolling around in her bed with me in the same room as her until she falls asleep.
2 Cents says
+1 drowsy but awake just meant for my LO “awake as soon as I put you down.” Had to wait 10-20 minutes in a deep sleep before I could consider a transfer. And honestly, he never slept more than 20 minutes alone. (Velcro kid!)
Buddy Holly says
Based on my experience with only one child, I would say: (1) keep trying, (2) maybe a swing would work, and (3) it may be nothing will work, and that is not your fault. Just do what you have to do. If you can get a few moments to yourself by only putting down the baby when he is sound asleep, or you have to wear a carrier all the time, or whatever, then that is what works for you and there is no need to shame yourself or your baby over it. My baby had to be held for almost all naps until she was about 4 to 5 months old and we were all ready sleep training (with a green light from her pediatrician). I think the baby slept in the swing maybe 2 or 3 times, for like, 15 minutes. That was just how she was. Even our nanny, who had 50 years of childcare experience with over 10 families, could not get the baby to sleep anywhere but in arms at first. The nanny eventually succeeded, but I’m pretty sure it was because baby got older and more ready for it and we were working on sleep training, not because of any skill the nanny had (though she was very skilled!). I found Weissbluth’s sleep book to be best for the toughest sleepers, though I know he is controversial. But babies and their families have to sleep and the usual techniques don’t work on all babies. His book does have a chapter on naps.
rosie says
I think 5w may be too young for this. Right now, you are doing what you need to do to get baby to sleep. Don’t worry about building bad sleep habits — my understanding is it’s too early for that to be a concern.
NYCer says
+1. I would wait at least another 3 weeks before trying this (maybe longer, depending on your baby).
If you want to sort of start implementing this now, I would say try not to hold your baby for his entire nap, but definitely wait until he is asleep before putting him in the bassinet.
anon says
I remember walking back and forth in chez-anon for an hour every night with our then weeks-old infant. We ultimately sleep-trained at 6 months (wish we had tried at 4 months) and never looked back. Don’t worry – just try to save your own sanity and health at this point.
Pogo says
Yes. I was so worried about sending a kid to daycare who would only nap while held or in a swing. Do not stress. They will handle it.
AwayEmily says
Some babies just don’t do “drowsy but awake.” My favorite sleep book (The Good Sleeper by Janet Kennedy) has a line about sleep during the first few months that I absolutely loved and returned to again and again.
“New parents tend to worry about establishing bad sleep habits that will be difficult to break. You will hear a lot about putting the baby down awake, establishing sleep routines, and napping in the crib. However, during the first 6 weeks, your job is to get your baby as much sleep as possible, period. Sometimes that’s easier said than done. You will not spoil your baby by soothing him to sleep. Your baby will not become “addicted” to the strategies or tools you’re using because you will phase them out when the time comes.”
So — just do what it takes, get through this period, and figure out the rest when the time comes. Good luck. This period is so hard. We relied a lot on taking the baby for long walks — he’d sleep well in the carrier or stroller.
Anonymous says
I think 5 weeks is way too early for drowsy but awake.
Anonymous says
Does the fussing eventually turn to screaming? Some kids just need to “talk’ to themselves to go to sleep, and at the baby age that can look like fussing/grunting. I would try to leave him there until he falls asleep unless he’s actually crying. Unlike others, we had good success with this method from day 1 and never did any rocking to sleep. I’m sure there’s an element of luck though, and we definitely had a good sleeper.
Anonymous says
I think it’s really child dependent. We had one who easily did drowsy but awake from birth and one who does not have a drowsy mode.
drowsy but awake says
Thanks for all the replies and reassurance! I would be fine with accepting that its not going to happen right now but while I can deal with it during the day, its really hard at night. He wakes up every 20-40 min and I have to nurse him back to sleep each time and its killing me. Not sure what else to do though.
Anonymous says
Have you tried cluster feeding in the evening? Hang out on your sofa and feed him every 45 mins-hour between 6-9/10pm. Let him sleep on the nursing pillow between feedings. That usually bought me a decent stretch of 3-4 hours sleep, then another feed, then another couple hours etc. Also, for overnight feeds, feed on each side with a diaper change in between. The diaper change will wake him up enough that he gets enough milk for a longer stretch.
Sleep when baby sleeps in the daytime so you don’t get sleep deprived. The dishes/laundry can wait.
Anonymous says
My baby always seemed to drink more from a bottle than when nursing and would stay full longer that way. It might also be worth (1) evaluating the temperature of the room and his clothing/swaddling and (2) trying a pacifier.
If you have a partner, they should be handling some of the night wakings even if they are back at work and you aren’t.
Anonymous says
This. DH did night wakings on F/Sa/Su from the time our babies came home from the hospital. That way Monday was the only workday where he had to do a nightwaking. We traded off sleeping in on Saturday and Sunday. Baby was EBF so he brought me baby, did any diaper changes, and re-settled baby after the feed. I learned to nurse sidelying so I could just pop up my eye mask to latch and then snooze through the nursing.
Pogo says
oh boy, didn’t see this. Every 40min at night is killer. Honestly I would cosleep to save my sanity, and chat w/ ped and LC about possible feeding issues. My kid was very middle of the road sleeping-wise and at 5w we did a bottle feed at 10pm, nurse around 1am, and nurse around 5am. Then every 2-3 hours during the daytime. He had a terrible 4mo regression where he woke every hour, but you’re not looking at that. 5w is so early, my guess is he’s actually hungry (or maybe colicky?).
Is dad giving him a pumped bottle? I would suggest that. With the above schedule (which we prob started like 2 days after we got home from the hospital), I slept solid from 9:00ish to 1 a.m. and that really saved me. Then after the 5am I could get another stretch til 8 and felt human. Also if any feeding issues on baby’s side (poor sucking or minor tongue tie etc) the bottle should eliminate that – he should suck down that night time bottle and hopefully sleep better. Good luck!!
XStitcher says
I would try a pacifier if you haven’t already tried that. If she is using you to sooth herself back to sleep and isn’t really hungry, this may be your solution. It was the solution for my daughter for the frequent night wake ups. But we are still a “hold until fully asleep” for naps (down to one a day after moving to the bigger room at daycare), bedtime, and her one or two middle of the night wake ups for a bottle now at 11 months. Drowsy but awake only resulted in instant screaming until the past month or so when it changed to rolling around in the crib for an hour and then screaming.
Anonymous says
For me it was timing that did the trick – I did eat, play, sweep in two hour cycles. So baby would wake up, eat, we’d have leisure time, and then exactly two hours after waking I’d start the next nap. I’d rock a little before putting baby in the bassinet… but honestly I think it highly depends on the kid. Taking Cara Babies was very helpful, which I think I bought out of desperation around week 4. Babies sleep better at night when they nap better during the day and at first I wasn’t doing napping frequently enough. My husband also fed a pumped bottle before bed.
rosie says
This is also a really good point. Sleep begets sleep. Our cycles may have been even shorter (like 90 min) in those early days. If you’re interested in another book recommendation, Sleepeasy Solution talks about getting into these cycles of frequent naps.
CCLA says
Yes, this. And amount. If baby eats more frequently during the day (and more ounces), they are fuller at night. A reasonably consistent nap routine helps with establishing that pattern and not getting an overtired baby (like rosie says, sleep begets sleep). Also, not full on sleep training that early, but after the first couple of weeks we started waiting a couple of minutes to respond to any crying, especially if it was whimpering and not full on crying. Occasionally, after 1-2 minutes baby would go back to sleep. IIRC 45 minutes is about the length of their sleep cycles at that age so they often naturally stir around that time but don’t necessarily fully wake up. Good luck and baby sleep dust your way OP.
Buddy Holly says
This wake up schedule sounds awful! I’m sure you are desperate to try anything . . . if you are b-feeding, you may want to try cutting the top 12 allergens out of your diet and trying to eat an organic, fresh, whole foods diet as much as possible. If anything else, maybe it will help you feel better even if it doesn’t help the baby. I also had a baby that wakes up a lot, and in hindsight I think a lot of it was probably food and pesticide/preservative sensitivities that took us years to figure out. Also, I know babies like this can make it hard to go out, but I would try to take the baby outside for at least 20 minutes a day, preferably an hour. Greenspace or parks if you can swing it, but really just whatever works. Something about the outdoor air can really help with stress levels and possibly help with sleep for you and/or baby.
Anonymous says
OP, please do not buy into the idea that it’s your fault that baby won’t sleep and if you just eat the right things or do the right things you can fix it. I am a huge fan of whole, fresh, unprocessed foods as the healthiest diet for everyone, but this whole “food sensitivity” nonsense has gotten out of hand and leads to moms being pressured to basically starve themselves with no proof that it actually helps the baby.
Getting outside is a good idea, even if you just sit on your front steps holding baby. It may or may not help baby sleep, but the fresh air will be good for mom’s sanity.
Anonymous says
As a mom of three kids with allergies, please, please do not unnecessarily cut out allergens. Older advice was to cut allergens but the current science supports maintaining as much in the diet as the baby will tolerate to maintain tolerance and improve the chances that any allergy will be overcome. It’s so unlikely that it’s one of these that’s causing challenging sleep for a 5 week old, even if it is, by eliminating all 12 you won’t know which is the trigger and it will be hard for you to get balanced nutrition. You don’t accidentially want to provoke a dairy intolerance as that is so challenging to deal with long term.
What might help is keep a food diary of what you eat and baby’s sleep and poops. One of my kids got very gassy whenever I ate green peas and another was bothered by Quinoa and had awful poops whenever I ate that. These are relatively easy foods to limit. On the off chance that there is an allergy or intolerance issue, this will give you ideas about which foods might be causing the issue.
So Anon says
Chiming in to agree with the two above. Cutting out allergens is out-dated advice and so incredibly difficult when it is frequently unnecessary. Agree that if you want to get more information, you can try keeping track of what you are eating and how baby responds.
Buddy Holly says
OP, just to respond to the above comment, Anonymous is totally right. This is not your fault and your baby might not sleep better no matter what you do. My perspective here is that I was in a similar position as you, I was willing to try anything and to change some of the things within my control since so many things weren’t. In hindsight, I wish I had done some diet changes just based on how my child turned out later to have food sensitivities that can cause some pretty scary health issues, but that is my situation and it may not have anything in common with yours. I fully trust mother’s intuition and I think you should just do what resonates inside with you, not based on any external things that make you feel guilty or shamed because you *should* be doing this or that. If my comment caused any of those emotions for you, I apologize. You should be doing exactly what you think is best for you and your child, that is all.
2 Cents says
You could look at the Bella Moon for helping with overnights.
TheElms says
Its really really hard and 5 weeks is very young to get it to happen successfully. You are basically teaching baby to self soothe and it takes practice. But its fantastic you are already trying. Things that worked for us — pacifier, a “routine” (turn out lights, close door, turn on sound machine, swaddle, pacifier, twinkle twinkle little star, then down). I did that for every nap and bedtime starting at 6 weeks and still do it at almost 8 months. It helps tell kiddo that its about to be time to sleep. I also needed to leave my hand on babies chest at first when I put them down until they were asleep and sometimes hold the pacifier in.
I really liked Taking Cara Babies online courses, so you might try those.
TheElms says
Definitely with that many night wakings I would try Taking Cara Babies. Its designed to be very gentle and hope you work out what is causing all the wake ups and then fix those things. In the meantime, internet hugs. Its hard, but you’ve got this and you are doing a fantastic job.
ifiknew says
+200000 for taking cara babies. Just could not agree more on everything she says.
My second is so much of a better sleeper. my 1st just now sleeps through the night about 2.5. I also recommend pumping and feding in botles, with my first I was crazy about no formula and only nursing and no pumping (except at work) and she just snacked all the time and was up 3x night forever. Not saying that will happen to you or to anyone else here, but both my babies never nurse until they are “full” and are hungry sooner than with bottles.
Anonanonanon says
Only worked with both of mine because of a combination of luck, pacifier usage, and formula supplementation. Probably 70% luck, 30% the rest.
I don’t remember with my first (almost a pre-teen now) but with my current toddler, when I was BFing she got a bottle of either half Bmilk half formula or 100% formula (I can’t remember!) given by my husband at around 8 or 9 pm. I got to sleep until around 1 am after that, which made all the difference in sanity.
Montessori doubt says
Can anyone tell me about switching a child from Montessori based preschool to a more traditional play based one ? How did you know montessori wasn’t working and how did the switch go? My daughter (will be 4 in April) has been going to a montessori preschool school since the fall. Before that she was in daycare. We picked Montessori mostly because it was 5 days a week which worked better for us than other programs that were only 3 days. I had no real knowledge about the Montessori program itself but I did some research and i got myself on board with it. Things seems fine – they teachers said she is doing well and my daughter loves to go, but I’m concerned that it’s not the best approach for her.
Anonymous says
Can you elaborate on your specific concerns? “Teachers said she is doing well and my daughter loves to go” seem like the most important pieces (and the logistics working for your family of course).
OP Montessori says
Yes my concern is that there are certain areas, mainly writing and coloring, that she had zero interest in working on. More than that though I can see her getting frustrated when she sees other kids who are better at those skills than she is and then she will refuse to do it anymore. I see this a lot for example when we go out to eat with cousins and they are all coloring on the kids menus. I get the sense that she is not wanting to do those things because she feels she isn’t good at them or it’s too hard and at her Montessori school she doesn’t really have to do anything or try anything that she doesn’t want to. I’m worried that when she gets to kindergarten she will be behind and then get frustrated and lose confidence because of that. I’m not worried really about her being behind a academically I’m more worried about her losing confidence if she sees that she is because she was never forced to work on things that were challenging or uninteresting to her.
Anonymous says
This is precisely why we decided against Montessori preschool, after seeing our nephew get by with refusing to do work he didn’t like in Montessori elementary.
Anonymous says
I may be the voice of dissent but I have a 4 yo boy and I think it’s absolutely fine and age appropriate NOT to have any interest in writing and coloring. It’s something she will have plenty opportunity to work on in kindergarten when she will be more developmentally ready.
Strategy mom says
My son is dealing eith this at a non Montessori preschool
Anonymous says
My son (almost 5) is at a non Montessori, play based school and nevertheless has had very little interest in drawing until just the last few months. He would do it when it was a class activity but never voluntarily; any good preschool is going to have a ton of free choice time. His teachers report he **flips out** that other kids are better then he at drawing and writing, refuses to participate, etc. My point is that it is not necessarily the Montessori approach that is the issue!!
Mrs. Jones says
I don’t see a good reason to switch schools. I miss our Montessori preschool! (kid third grade now)
Anonymous says
It sounds like you started Montessori too late. Getting kids used to failing and instilling a growth mindset has to start very early. (I say this as someone who struggles with this daily as an adult and trying so hard to get my kid to understand this without a Montessori school I’m not criticizing I am deeply sympathetic and well aware of how screwed up our education system is.)
But you can just leave her there and sign her up for art classes. If you go on a nature walk, pack art supplies and both of you draw flowers. Get an adult coloring book for you and sit down with her and color together. Start a gratitude journal /lune a day journal and write down what she says. The halo effect is real and very strong.
Anonymous says
I doubt that she started too late. Montessori just isn’t suited for some kids’ personalities.
Redux says
How would you address (if at all) a female colleague who looks you up and down every time she sees you?
I am new at my workplace and in a senior role. My colleague who is junior to me but not in my line of supervision very obviously looks me up and down head-to-toe every time I see her. We are about the same age and I suspect she’s just unconsciously curious about what I’m wearing and doesn’t realize how obviously she’s checking me out. I don’t find it creepy or aggressive just really annoying. I’d like to draw her attention to it so that she stops, but I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I’m thinking of objectively and cheerfully narrating what she’s doing in the moment. I.e., “You’re looking at my dress!” Or,” you noticed my outfit!” How does that strike you? Because I’m so new here I’m hesitant to call her out so I’m trying to walk the line of friendly and purposeful
NYCer says
This is not something I would address at all. I would just smile and say hi to her and otherwise act normal.
Anonymous says
I would go with something really gentle like “is there something on my shirt?” And start looking at yourself like you’re worried about a stain.
I am the worst about this sometimes but I am usually just curious what people are wearing postpartum or whatever. If people question me, it totally stops it.
anon says
+1, I might do this, if anything at all, just to let her know you’ve noticed and hopefully she’ll stop. But I would not do what you’re proposing, that’s really awkward.
Anonymous says
Don’t do this it’s weird. Just ignore it.
Anonymous says
It will not be possible to address this with her without a ton of awkwardness. Does she do this with other people too?
Anonymous says
Your reaction to this is over the top. Don’t say anything.
Redux says
Sorry, what’s over the top about my reaction? I have not actually reacted outwardly at all. I inwardly feel annoyed, is that what you’re saying is over the top? Please don’t police other peoples emotions.
Anonymous says
Your reaction that something should be said or done about this.
Yep says
You’re asking about how to address this, and you really shouldn’t. You’re reaction to this is over the stop. Please don’t police other people’s opinions. Esp. when you asked for them.
Redux says
I mean, I guess, but I asked *if* I should say anything (and if so, what/how). This was an ask for advice, not a rant. Not sure how that is at all am over the top reaction. Sometimes this board is uncharacteristically unkind.
Anonanonanon says
I probably wouldn’t say anything unless it continues past the period you consider yourself “new”. If you do, I’d just call it out in the moment like “oh no, is there something on my pants? you looked like there was something wrong!” or “Like my outfit? (strike a pose)” or “please tell me my shoes match, I was in such a hurry this morning!” a couple of times until she realizes on her own it’s a pattern.
IHeartBacon says
I will be the one voice of dissent and say I had a coworker who did this, and in the end, as I got to know her better, I realized she did it because she was very catty. I also learned that she was divisive, disloyal, and just all around bad news. I learned the hard way. I agree that there is nothing you should say at this time, but since you are new, it’s best to let time reveal everyone’s true self. In the end, you might end up being best friends; or not.
Pink eye says
Anyone have tips for administering eye drops for pink eye to a two-year old? Doc will confirm tonight but I’m already dreading the prospect of eye drops. She is going to HATE it.
Anonymous says
We used a method that worked amazingly (our son was a bit younger). I would hold a phone with something fun on it above him while he laid on the ground. My husband would come in like a sniper and drop the drops in from above the phone. We’d let him finish whatever he was watching as a reward, since the drops bothered him. He had very little screen tome at that point so it worked well.
Anonymous says
Bribery.
rakma says
Just did this with a 3-yo, things we tried: her holding a stuffy while doing the drops, letting her get a tissue to wipe off any excess herself, having someone hold her hand and her foot (3 year olds are weird, the foot holding was a request), the promise of a chocolate kiss at the end, pointing the drops at the whites of her eyes so she didn’t see it coming and flinch. All of these worked for at least two sessions, not all consecutive. This is one area where I negotiate as long as the drops go in.
Also, on the advice of the ped, we do the drops in both eyes even if only one looks infected, to prevent it spreading from one eye to the other.
AwayEmily says
Sadly the phone trick and the bribery trick didn’t work for us. The only thing that really worked was just holding the kid down (this is a two-parent operation). I will say that the first three days were terrible and then they started resigning themselves to it and the crying stopped. Also, once my older one turned 3 she stopped minding as much.
ElisaR says
even if you drop it in when they eye is closed, if you put the drop right in the corner crease of the eye when he/she opens his eye it will get in…. it’s not so bad. they always close their eyes tight but it gets in
OP says
This is very comforting! Thank you everyone for making me feel like I can do this!
Anonymous says
This technique worked for us too!
Anon says
We have the ointment instead of the drops, but I had my biggest parenting win on Friday with this!
My 21 month old is obsessed with makeup (not my favorite, but oh well). We called the ointment ‘makeup medicine’ (this was a play on ‘juice medicine,’ which we called Pedialyte a few weeks ago) Easiest application ever.
octagon says
The only thing that worked for us was to have kiddo lay on the ground, with my legs gripping his ears like a vise. Then I had both hands free – one to hold eye open and one to do the drops.
And M&Ms as a reward when done.
Anon says
I could not lay down my son drowsy but awake for months. I basically wore him in the carrier for all his naps. I worried I was establishing bad sleeping skills, but he is 16 months old now and a fantastic sleeper. Do not worry, mama.
Anontoday says
Upcoming first time mom here, and other than this blog, I’m looking for some parenting blog suggestions.
I currently lean toward the silky end of the spectrum and prefer to avoid any overtly religious ones.
AwayEmily says
I don’t know what the silky end of the spectrum is but I am intrigued! It sounds very relaxing.
I find most parenting blogs intolerable. This place is the only one I trust for advice. But maybe other people have good ideas!
Anonymous says
Does silky mean non-crunchy? I agree with AwayEmily, this is the only parenting s1te I read.
Pogo says
Ha, I assume silky is an autocorrect?
I liked AlphaMom for the early days (nursing, pumping). The SHU Box is pretty good.
I agree, I don’t read many others because they are almost all SAHMs so I don’t really relate. I do follow some random Montessori parents on insta for ways to teach my toddler more independence, but I could not read an entire blog post about it. I’m in a f—book group for mom alumni of my university that I like as well.
AwayEmily says
actual LOL, I at first filled in that f— with something very different, and thought WOW good for you and those alum moms for being so willing to discuss your predilection for racy books! And what a bold name for your book group!
Pogo says
OMG lol. I was trying to avoid mod while talking about the social media site of Zuckerberg (every time I try to get around the mod it gets caught until I tried it this way!!)
OP says
Yes. For clarification, silky is the new term for opposite of crunchy.
Anonymous says
Interesting – I say this gently but you may not find out what type of parent you are until you have a child born. I never thought I’d be as much of an attachment parent as I am (minus co-sleeping which we do not do).
OP says
Understood. Hence, the word “currently”. Maybe the only way my kid will calm down is to be worn as an example. I get that, but I feel like in general I will relate to one style (and consequently parent-type) more than another.
Anonymous says
So I don’t meant this at all in a judgmental way, but what sorts of things count as silky, then? I’m thinking ‘crunchy’ would be cosleeping, baby-wearing, EBF, extended BF, BLW, SAHM so ‘silky’ is baby in own room , strollers over baby carriers, combo/FF, purees instead of BLW…?
Anonymous says
Not OP, but basically yeah. I looked it up and found this:
Silky mums are mothers who generally prefer a medicated hospital birth, disposable nappies, bottle-feeding or breastfeeding/expressing, cot sleeping, sleeping training techniques such as the cry-it-out method, use a stroller and are pro-vaccination and pro-circumcision.
I’m definitely silky based on this.
avocado says
Hahahahahaha. The only people I know who can consistently practice any particular parenting philosophy, whether it be crunchy, silky, attachment, Ferber, Sears, Lansbury, Satter, or whatever, are those who are rich enough to have tons of hired help, are SAHMs who also choose to be mommy martyrs (a particular subset of SAHMs), and/or have only easy children. The rest of us just have to try everything and find what works for our kids’ particular needs without destroying ourselves in the process.
I also know very few people who have been either “crunchy” or “silky” across the board with respect to every parenting decision. My super crunchy nurse friend, for example, is a stickler for vaccinations. My family member who BF’d for two years and refuses to feed her child refined sugar or send him to preschool asked for an epidural the minute she arrived at the hospital. There was no way on earth I was having an epidural (because eek scary!), I rarely used a stroller (mainly because my kid hated it), and I am a huge reader of food labels, but I request alllll the vaccines and moved my kid to her own room at the earliest recommended age. Parenting is just not as cut and dried as the internet would have us believe.
AwayEmily says
well put, avocado. I’m sure there are some people who are all-in on one thing or another, but the vast number of parents I know pick and choose what works for them from each of those categories. If you identify more with one than another, then great! But don’t let it limit your options or tell yourself “parents like me don’t do X” because it might be that X is the only thing that works for your family/kid.
Anonymous says
I agree kids will surprise you and you can’t make every decision in advance. And obviously many or even most people choose things that work for them from the various parenting styles, but I know a lot of people who planned for epidural/disposable diapers/formula or combo-feeding/sleep training/stroller use, and in fact did all those things, myself included. The “hahahahahahahaha” reaction seems a little mean. We all know what people mean when they say “crunchy” (although I agree there is some variation within that ‘community,’ especially over vaccines), so why can’t we say that the opposite is a defined parenting style too?
Anonymous says
Agree with avocado and AwayEmily, a lot of people are different on each one of these issues. You can’t really pick which one to be before birth. You follow what works for you and your kid.
I was medicated hospital birth, disposable nappies, breastfeeding (because it worked on the first, combo fed on the second),cot sleeping, non-CIO sleeping training only, used stroller, swing and wrap depending on the kid and day, pro-vaccination and anti-circumcision (although the last one mostly because it’s not done in our area anymore because it’s not covered by the Canadian health plan and most people don’t bother).
Lana Del Raygun says
I agree that it’s often unproductive to decide on a parenting philosophy in advance, but OP asked for blog recommendations. Just because you are (or should be) open to, say, feeding your child organic non-GMO agave if they turn out to like it doesn’t mean you want to seek out blogs that go on about how of course I only feed my precious Oceane organic non-GMO agave because I don’t want to fill her body with toxins.
Anonymous says
That’s hysterical. I am so far on the crunchy spectrum in real life but By this definition I’m almost 100% silky. We didn’t sleep train but it just wasn’t necessary- not against it. I consider myself crunchy because I insist on kids playing outside/in the woods constantly, no tv, don’t buy processed snacks, major family activity is hiking, etc. but we VACCINATE. We’re not crazy!
NYCer says
I am a member of a few NYC neighborhood specific moms facebook groups that I find moderately helpful for neighborhood happenings and selling baby gear. It is not the type of dialogue that happens on this board, but I still skim the postings in the evening.
Anon says
It’s been a couple years, but Lucie’s List had a good email series for both pregnancy and the first couple months post-partum. I also really liked Emily Oster’s Expecting Better about pregnancy. I haven’t read it, but I’ve heard her new one about parenting is very similar.
Other than that, I stayed off of/ out of groups and parenting books. Too much advice leads me to analysis paralysis so I tried to stay away. I used the daycare nursery teachers as my experts – they had great tips on dealing with basically every issue I ran across.
There’s an app from John Hopkins Children’s Hospital called PocketDoc. I think you have to pay a few dollars, but you can search by symptom and it’ll give you what to look for and when to call regular doctor vs hotlines vs ER visits, plus home treatment info. It was super helpful in deciding whether to rush to the doctor asap vs wait and see.
My last tip is to see if you have a local moms group on FB. The one for my town has some people who regularly post activities to do with your kids, upcoming events, free sales, invites to play dates, etc.
Anonymous says
Seconding Lucie’s List for advice about what baby gear you need and AlphaMom for some amusing/reasonable parenting advice. Finding a local parents’ group is also amazing, both for while you’re home on mat leave and for later when you want a group of people to text about “is your kid also doing this strange thing” or for playdates.
Yup says
I love reading old articles at Brain, Child. Not a blog. Just some thoughtful articles about parenting.
Anon Lawyer says
When did you stop swaddling? My baby is 8 weeks old tomorrow and has shown no signs of rolling. But I understand the most conservative advice is to stop swaddling now in case she rolls early and unexpectedly. However, she definitely still has the startle reflex and I’m worried it’ll torpedo her sleep. (Incidentally, I joined a safe sleep group on Facebook that people kept referencing and it has made me a million times more anxious about everything.)
AwayEmily says
We dropped the swaddle at around 6 weeks for both kids. It didn’t seem to make a huge difference to sleep quality.
Anonymous says
I think around 6 weeks we started swaddling arms out? She had already started getting them out and liked to suck her hand for self-soothing by then so swaddling arms out actually made her sleep better. I forget when we dropped the swaddle completely but it was a lot longer – maybe 6 months or so. Our ped said swaddling arms out was fine post-rolling, but maybe that advice is outdated now.
Anonymous says
12 weeks for my oldest and like 16 weeks for youngest but swaddled loose enough to get arms out/push up from belly before that. Make sure you get in regular tummy time so they can lift their head and complain if they get stuck on their belly.
If baby is EBF and you’re not smoking in the house, and baby is in your room, the SIDS risk is very low . With modern baby monitors, you’ll hear if baby gets stuck on their belly if they are not in your room.
ALC says
We switched to a sleep sack (arms out) around 10 weeks, when I started to worry he might roll (he was getting up on his side pretty well by then).
Anonymous says
Around 4 months, once they could roll. Note that our state has just outlawed swaddles for use at daycares, so maybe there’s safe sleep data I’m not aware of.
Anon says
Has anyone here adopted internationally? Our agency is requiring us to join two in-person adoptive family support groups. Since, yeah, I’m not doing that ’cause ain’t nobody in a big city with a full-time job got time for that nonsense, and since, hello, it’s not a thing since everyone else in this city also has a demanding full-time job, I’m looking for online Facebook groups. Bonus points if the parents match this site’s demographics (well educated, both parents work, can afford to hire things out, etc.)
(Without a doubt my biggest surprise in international adoption has been the whole culture around adoptive families. I mainly want to run screaming from all of them, but there have to be good groups somewhere…right?)
Buble says
Yeah, weird that an agency would want you to show that you have enough time to fit a major time commitment into your life before adopting a child… don’t they know you have a full-time job!?
AnotherAnon says
Rude and unnecessary, Buble. Adoption is already skewed toward one parent working households; she doesn’t need you throwing shade to feel any more ostracized. Parenting in any form is difficult – adding extra requirements on top, though they may be helpful, doesn’t make it any easier.
OP: I’ve only adopted domestically, so take all this with a grain of salt. I think Fb groups are fine for getting in touch with in-person groups (where I live, they mostly meet in and are affiliated with churches), but FB groups spread a LOT of misinformation, so I’d encourage you to seek out at least one in-person group. They can seem very…eesh fundamentalist? But my experience has been that there is a variety of backgrounds and belief systems represented. Maybe reach out to a therapist or therapist practice to see what kind of support groups exist in your area. Your agency should be able to give you some pointers on this as well (if they can’t, that’s a red flag). Even if you can only find a group with all SAHMs, they will have valuable behavior and process insight. You may even find someone willing to trade babysitting with you!
Anonymous says
Ummm…I mean this kindly, but if you don’t have time in your lives for this support group, why do you think you have time for a child? Unless this is support group is meeting every evening and weekend and occasionally waking you up at 3 am on a Tuesday for no apparent reason, it’s much easier to fit into your life than a kid.
OP says
I disagree with this. Depending on the nature of your job and when/where these groups meet and the requirements it could be much harder to do this than make yourself available for a kid, especially if you aren’t ready to share with your employer. I know of dual big career couples who do daycare + nanny or two nannies due to the nature of their jobs who would find it very hard to go to something in person twice a week but they doesn’t make them bad parents!
Jessamyn says
Right, but you’re talking about them doing twice a week meetings on TOP of becoming parents. Obviously it’s not apples-to-apples, but OP’s “ain’ nobody got time for that!!” attitude really rubs the wrong way. And again, there’s likely a reason the agency has this requirement in place other than just torturing prospective parents with better things to do than jump through their dumb hoops.
AnotherAnon says
It was worded in a glib way, I’ll grant you, but as a working parent of an adopted kid, I fully sympathize with the “I don’t have time for two support groups” mentality. I’m just trying to be a good mom to my kid; sometimes the support group helps. But a lot of times, I’d rather have dinner with my family, so I skip. I agree with the spirit of what the agency is trying to do, but two support groups is a bit over the top. Furthermore, due to the number of people interested in becoming foster parents, I could absolutely see agencies creating hoops for prospective parents to jump through. It’s their best metric for ensuring dedicated parents. Sadly, it attracts more single working parent households, because, as OP stated, none of us working parents got time for all this! What if her kid wants to join a sport, what if they need therapy? What if they need a support group themselves? These are really all things she should be working out with her agency, not a board, but I’m glad we’re discussing it. I guess it just struck a chord with me because I also wish there were more working moms who foster and adopt. It’s lonely.
Anonymous says
It was mostly how she phrased it. If she’d said “the only group I can find meets at 5:30 pm in the suburbs and DH and I can’t consistently make that due to work obligations and our commute” or whatever, I – and others – would have had a different reaction. But a) she hasn’t even bothered to research the groups, she’s just assuming they don’t exist, which seems like a really odd take (I bet they exist) and b) the “ain’t nobody [who works] got time for that” language was really off-putting. Lots of people with full-time jobs who want to become parents could make time in their lives for an in-person support group if that was what they had to do to be matched with a child.
Anonymous says
During both my high-risk pregnancies, I spent 2-5 hours per week in hospitals/doctor’s offices. I couldn’t outsource that, so my very full-time, very high-performance litigation practice just had to deal. It was necessary to shift my thinking and help me (and the people I work with) that yes, having children would change my work life.
Anon Lawyer says
And also, if you’re adopting internationally it’s probably best to get used to associating with people not like you.
Patent pending says
I just found out I’m having twins. This is first time I’ve ever been pregnant. I’m a senior associate in big law. I have a really busy spring coming up. Halp. I already feel behind because I’ve been so tired and nauseous. Any advice on getting through the early period? I’m about 7 weeks.
OP says
First of all congrats! I have 20 month old twins and it’s been a wild and crazy ride but it’s kind of fun to be part of this multiples club. Loved Lucie’s List for gear recs and try to seek out a multiples group in your area. We are part of one and it has been a great resource for questions. I was lucky in that i have more of a 9-5 job, but i know people who made it through twin pregnancies as medical residents do you’ve got this! If you feel really sick (which i did), definitely ask your doctor for meds. Some days I literally had to take it one hour at a time. Keeping it a secret at work was hard -sneaking away to the bathroom to throw up, etc and it became at least a bit easier once i went public. If you can ever work from home that might be helpful. There are a number of twin moms on this board so hopefully another will chime in. Hang in there!
Anon says
Congratulations!
Experiment to see what works for you.
What worked for me:
Exercise, which helps the body to process the pregnancy hormones
Trader Joe’s high potency multi-vitamins in addition to my prenatals; nausea is correlated with low levels of magnesium, and low levels of iron can contribute to exhaustation
Cold brew instead of normal coffee; it has a fraction of the acid and is easier on the stomach
Trader Joe’s lemon juice and ginger seltzers
Anon says
From another senior associate (but only 1 kid). If your nausea gets worse and is interfering with your working life (my guess is yes) ask about Diclegis. It was a miracle for me in that it allowed me to get out of bed, do my job and keep down at least one meal a day (for my entire flipping pregnancy – but that’s neither here nor there). I assume your office has a nursing room – consider sneaking away there for a late afternoon catnap (or if you can shut your door – we have switched to glass offices since my first pregnancy). Keep up with all of the water – it will help with your energy levels. Accept that it will take you longer to get things done and delegate as needed. And if you’re feeling really terrible and just can’t, consider (depending on your relationship) telling your team early. My team is really supportive and frequently shares life stuff (and our firm is very pro women) so I had no problem telling early at around 8 weeks because of all the nausea and vomiting with my immediate team members (but then for my second pregnancy held off for my second pregnancy on telling until my far less nauseous 9 week miscarriage when I needed backup support to grieve).
Anonymous says
Congratulations! Our twins are almost four now and they are sooooo much fun. They are also our onlies so far. I know this is late so I will repost this in the AM but:
1. TAKE the unisom/B6 combo or diclegis. That nausea is no joke and it made a huge difference.
2. It’s hard to strike this balance but try to simultaneously not worry about complications and also prep for them. My doctor told me to get stuff done by 28 weeks and darn if I wasn’t admitted on bed rest at exactly 28 weeks. Everyone is fine now but if I had to do it again, I would have had the car seats purchased and the nursery done by then.
lsw says
YES to #1. I tried unisom/B6 and it didn’t work, and I got scared off Diclegis because it was $300/month. I kept thinking my nausea would get better, and it didn’t. I felt like I was failing at work and at home. In retrospect, $300/month would have been well worth feeling good for the first six months of my pregnancy (instead, I was the rare person who loved third trimester). I suggest talking to your doc now about meds!
(I just realized this is yesterday’s post, but…I already typed it out and I feel strongly!)
Twin mama says
Late response, but I’m writing because I was basically you two years ago. I had a tough pregnancy with HG till 12 hours before I gave birth. I used the goodwill I had built up and ended up telling a handful of partners that I was pregnant very early, because I couldn’t operate at my prior pace when I was so awfully sick and throwing up multiple times a day. If you can’t satisfy your work obligations and you have some goodwill built up, you may want to tell people and explain what is going on so you can reduce your load a bit without seeming like you’re just slacking off. Also, I don’t want to give medical advice to a stranger, but anecdotally, I went on diclegis, and that only helped the nausea minimally, mostly by making me too tired to feel sick (also too tired to work). Eventually, after the nausea didn’t go away after many weeks, I reluctantly switched to zofran and took that almost daily until my babies were born. For me, an empty stomach was a trigger, and protein helped lessen the nausea a bit.
Obviously, everyone’s pregnancy is different, but in my experience and that of a few friends, being pregnant with twins can be tough, so try to manage (your own and others’) expectations.