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Sales of note for 8.30.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lands’ End – 40% off sitewide; 50% off backpacks, 40% off kids’ apparel
- Loft – Summer sale, 30% off new arrivals; up to 50% off much more
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- Zappos – 28,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 40% off everything
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 40% off sitewide; extra 50% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 50-60% off; 50% off pants for the family
- Target – 20% off select clothing for all; up to 50% off home; up to 30% off select nursery furniture; up to 30% off kitchen & dining
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- The concept of “backup care” is so stupid…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I’m thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
- I’m now a SAHM and my husband needs to step up…
- How can I change my thinking to better recognize some of my husband’s contributions as important, like organizing the shed?
- What are your tips to having a good weekend with kids, especially with little kids? Do you have a set routine or plan?
Briel says
How does organic cotton help eczema? Our guy has it but we never purchased organic because of the price. Can you elaborate a bit on the benefits? Thanks!
Anon says
I’m wondering the same thing. I looked into it a while ago, so my memory is fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure it was the thought that non-organic cotton has pesticide residue that would irritate eczema. The issue was that labels can be tricky, and a lot of “organic cotton” still has non-organic cotton in it, so the residue is still there.
I settled on not getting organic cotton for my two eczema kids. But I do make an effort to inspect for seams or scratchy fabric. I’ve found more expensive clothes are better about those things, although the Cat & Jack line at Target is pretty good.
Anonymous says
But they don’t use pesticide on cotton! (At least in the US.) Non-organic cotton uses a ton of fertilizer, but no bugs eat it except the boll weevil, which cannot be killed with pesticides (since it’s inside the cotton boll and very protected) and in much of the US the boll weevil is nearly extinct due to careful crop management.
Maybe weed killer, but that would be applied early in the season when the cotton was still inside the plant, it wouldn’t get any on the cotton. And then cotton is milled and washed multiple times, turned into thread, dyed, washed, turned into cloth, washed and made into clothes.
Moving away from artificial fertilizers is important for the environment, but this is nuts.
Anonymous says
Honestly it makes no sense. Buying Pima or other long staple cotton could help, since the strands of cotton are longer and produce smoother thread and fabric. Buying cotton could help with breathablity, but it seems like snake oil.
AnonMN says
We’ve found 100% cotton to make a big difference with Eczema. I think because of the breathability. But I hadn’t heard that organic cotton was any different for this issue. Maybe a lot of brands that have 100% cotton options have organic cotton? So it has become a thing by association?
We use soley Hanna Andersson pajamas because they are 100% cotton and they last FOREVER. Not just for wash and wear, but when it comes to size too. So I feel like I get my money’s worth.
Sabba says
They are pricy, but we also love the Hanna pajamas and think they are worth the money. The cuffs roll up, so I can usually get 9 to 12 months out of the pajamas, and can then skip a size when we need a new pair (e.g,. I buy size 70 and wear those out until we move up to 90, skip the 80). I heard the company was sold and I really hope the new owners keep up the quality.
avocado says
+1 for Hanna. If you have an outlet nearby you can often get them at much more reasonable prices. I think we could easily have gotten 2 or 3 kids’ worth of wear out of them.
FTMinFL says
We love Hanna Andersson for the same reason, but have bought 100% of HA pajamas on eBay for less than $10, some new with tags. There are usually a ton of the smaller sizes available in great condition. We are running into some scarcity problems in size 90+, but they are out there!
Kim says
I am confused – do organic still have the non-flammable chemicals on them? Because that would seem to defeat the purpose. Unless they’re tight (Carters pajamas contain a statement about this). But tight pajamas would defeat the eczema issue – tight clothing exacerbates my eczema; I wear the loosest t-shirt I can find.
AnonMN says
They do not contain the chemicals. All of ours state: “wear snug fitting: not flame resistent”.
We do not wear snug fitting, because we are rule breaking rebels. Or because Eczema is more prevalent in our lives than fire.
Anonymous says
100% cotton is a necessity, but it doesn’t matter if it’s organic or not.
Kirkland pj are very similar to HA and just as durable. Sometimes HA show up at Costco, too.
And if you’re a rebel, you can size up to avoid the tightness. Or buy comfortable regular clothing (ie, tshirt and leggings or simple dress). It’s federal law that children’s pjs have to be tight or have flame retardants.
Pregnancy Reading Recs says
Hoping for some reading recommendations. It’s been a long slog of infertility treatments, but the upcoming procedure is expected to be successful (I know, I know…). After 19 months, I’m about as even keeled about this is anyone could be.
Still, I’m looking for a couple recommended blogs/books/anything about pregnancy for first timers. ‘What to expect while you’re expecting’ is the only title I know. Is that the best, or just the best known? Would love a website or two that I can read during the work day. I’d love to read about things from what to eat/not eat all the way to how to financially prepare for baby. I’m a full time (50-60 hr week) professional in “big finance” (i guess?). I out-earn DH by quite a bit, and I will continue working post baby, in case that colors any recommendations. Thanks!
CPA Lady says
I liked the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy MUCH MUCH more than What to Expect.
I found “what to expect” to be judgmental and extremely anxiety inducing. I did really like the “what to expect: the first year” book, though.
AEK says
Plus one to Mayo! I liked it best of all.
Rainbow Hair says
Gah I hated What to Expect. It made me feel so guilty and on edge and like I had already ‘ruined’ my baby.
Anon says
I stalked Babycenter and thissite during the workday. I also liked the list of pregnancy rules research on Pregnant Chicken, and all of the recommendations on Lucie’s List.
For books, the best one was written for guys – “Dude Youre Going to be a Dad”. High level of what to expect, without all the fearmongering. I like Expecting Better for a different view on pregnancy risks, although I used her book as a springboard to do my own research. But honestly there’s not a lot of good books for pregnancy. Most assume you’re a Dumb Girl Incapable Of Understanding Nuance, which I found infuriating.
HSAL says
I had a copy of What to Expect, but I don’t think I opened it more than once. Same with the book my husband got. For me it was all internet, all the way. I really liked AlphaMom. They have a week by week guide about what’s going on with your pregnancy, the baby’s development, etc. For what to buy, I liked Lucie’s List.
I skulked around Babycenter and The Bump but it was more hate-reading than anything. Thiss1te and the main were where I got my best information.
Anon says
Oooh I forgot about AlphaMom! Yes! And I should probably start reading it again, the advice column was for all ages.
Yes, Babycenter was a total hate-read, but it was fascinating and I couldn’t stop. Totally the equivalent of watching Bravo for me.
Frozen Peach says
Congratulations!!! This site was always my best source of info, honestly.
My favorite pregnancy books were the Our Bodies, Ourselves Guide to Pregnancy and Birth and Emily Oster’s Expecting Better. Stay away from What to Expect if you’re anxious like me!
Betty says
Agree on What to Expect. In Tina Fey’s Baby Momma, she references a book called “1001 things that can go wrong with your pregnancy,” which is a reference to What to Expect.
Pregnant Chicken is awesome for the humor of being pregnant and real world advice.
blueberries says
+1 Expecting Better
AnonMN says
The site AlphaMom has a pregnancy calendar that I found to be hilarious. It won’t be chalked full of as many helpful tips but it was often the funny break I needed. The author of it also does an “advice smackdown” and sometimes focuses on pregnancy/postpartum issues, but also kid related things.
Blueberry says
I liked “Expecting Better” by Emily Oster and the Mayo Clinic book, as a reference. A bit farther down the road, I got “The Birth Partner” by Penny Simkin for my husband to read, but I seem to recall it was a useful book for me to learn more about what actually happens during labor and how to manage the process. I also got one or two books on exercising during pregnancy because there is a lot of conflicting advice, particularly regarding what you can and can’t do do work out your core. I can’t remember what they were, but I think I just searched around on Amazon. Google and the internet are helpful but can sometimes freak you out a bit, if you tend to spiral into anxiety over this kind of thing, so use in moderation :) The ladies on this site are a fantastic resource.
Knope says
+1 to Expecting Better. Especially if you are a data-driven type.
Lyssa says
I know that What to Expect gets a lot of hate, but I thought that it was very good. I have heard that they toned down the anxiety in the later editions, so maybe that’s it? (Look for one with a cool, jeans-wearing pregnant lady standing up on the cover.) I thought that it was a very well-laid out, easy to read overview. The AlphaMom weekly calendar is great, too.
I would definitely read Expecting Better if I were doing it again; it sounds really interesting. But I like a week/month by month overview like What to Expect.
lsw says
I appreciated What to Expect because I was extremely sick, miserable, anxious and depressed for the first six months of pregnancy, and oddly it helped to read about difficult experiences I wasn’t having. So…IDK. (I did have the jeans-wearing pregnant lady edition.)
AlphaMom and Pregnant Chicken calendars gave me much needed levity during my pregnancy and I appreciated the real talk.
Expecting Better was great and my husband LOVED it. He recommends it to basically every person we know who becomes pregnant.
Pogo says
My SIL gave me her copy and noted all the hate/anxiety it supposedly induces, and then told me that for her at least, she thought that while yes, it was a little ridiculous, the book also stresses that 1) most of these things are very rare and 2) everything you’re feeling is normal.
Which I found to be true – it’d be like “Why do my breasts hurt all the time” Answer: bblah blah hormones this is normal. Next question: “Why don’t my breasts hurt?” Answer: This is totally normal too everyone is different.
I read Debunking the Bump by Daphne Adler, which is very similar to Oster’s book (I think they came out at the same time, so I don’t think either was copying the other). I actually liked Adler’s book better and I’d recommend reading both.
momoftwins says
Another vote for Emily Oster’s Expecting Better. For day to day, I liked the Ovia app.
Butter says
There was a podcast I listened to while I was pregnant that I really enjoyed, even though it was already dated when I listened to it, so ymmv – Pregtastic I think it was called? But I really enjoyed it because it was a mix of information and personal stories and covered all kinds of things I wouldn’t have thought of.
And +100 for Emily Oster.
Cate says
So I actually really like reading pregnancy memoirs – Great With Child and Letters to Birdie come to mind. There’s also Anne Lamott’s Operating Instructions, which is a classic but was actually a little much for me.
Otherwise, I liked the apps.
anon says
I was reasonably happy with Penny Simpkin’s Preganancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn. It isn’t extremely detailed but covers the basics.
Anonymous says
The Mother of All Pregnancy Books
The Expectant Father
Anonymous says
My husband and I both liked The Expectant Father, there’s actually some info in there that I didn’t see in women’s pregnancy books. It goes into good detail and tells it like it is. It also gets into the emotional/psychological issues.
Anonymous says
What to Expect when you are Expecting is terrible (IMO)…. the order stuff is presented in makes no sense (like you get to month three and it turns out you have been using the wrong skincare products.) I am Canadian and the provincial health organizations have really good wesbites for basic info about nutrition / weight gain / what to expect in your body at a given time.
healthyparenthealthychild.ca
I also referenced the UK health services one for questions about food / other products
anon dc mom says
Camping with a 2.5 year old: peaceful venture into nature or more work than it is worth?
This is our first camping trip with kiddo and I am envisioning exploring the area, dipping our toes in the nearby river, smores by the fire, and bedtime stories by flashlight. I am not a seasoned camper (this will be my second camping trip ever), is this a bad idea? The sight is only an hour and a half away so we can always quit and go home at any time.
HSAL says
I say this with a non-camper bias, but what about going out for a nature hike nearby during the day to get the outdoorsy stuff, and then camp in the backyard? It could be a trial run, and if that goes well, then try the full experience?
HSAL says
And it occurs to me that if you’re in DC, backyard may not be an option. In which case I say go for it!
mascot says
Things that would have been really hard with my kid at that age- leeping him safe around water (add in a current and slippery rocks for extra points), keeping him safe around an open fire while amped up and holding a sharp stick, convincing him to go to sleep in a tent when so much fun stuff was happening outside and there are all sorts of noises, dealing with constant bathroom requests and needing to wash hands, dealing with bugs, keeping him occupied during the always longer than expected process of setting up camp and prepapring the meals, worrying that we are making a ton of noise and disturbing the campsites around us.
This trip sounds fun in theory but probably is going to be a lot of work. Could you do some backyard camping to try it out?
mascot says
Another option is find a park with bare-bones cabins to rent. You can still do the other activities, but you aren’t messing around with tents.
Sabba says
I think it could be a lot fun if you resign yourself to getting up very early (as soon as the sun is streaming through the tent. Try only one night at first.
avocado says
I am a lifelong camper and avoided taking my kid camping overnight until she was about 4 and could be relied upon to follow directions and not run off or stick her hands in the fire. Camping is just so much work, and keeping small kids safe outdoors is exhausting. At 2.5 you basically have to have a hand on them or have them contained in the backpack at all times. If you are not an experienced camper it will be even more overwhelming. My husband thought he liked camping because he’d only been on trips where his older brother orchestrated everything and all he had to do was show up with his pup tent and sleeping bag. Once we’d been on a few camping trips where we were in charge, he decided camping was not so much fun after all.
If you really want to try it, I’d recommend going to Big Meadows at Shenandoah National Park and not cooking all your own meals. You can set up a tent and roast hot dogs and marshmallows over a campfire, but you can eat most of your meals at the lodge or wayside, and escape to the lodge or taproom if it gets chilly or rainy or you just need a break from being outdoors. I’d also recommend going for two nights. A one-night trip ends up being spent almost entirely on setting up and then breaking down your camp the next morning. Two nights are so much more fun because you can spend the morning of the middle day enjoying breakfast etc. without rushing to get packed up.
avocado says
Also, I am not a fan of backyard camping. To me the fun part of camping is being in the wilderness–going through the work of setting up a tent just so I can sleep on the ground in my own backyard is so not worth it.
Sabba says
I’m not a camper, so avocado’s advice here might be better!
avocado says
Hmm, is this Shenandoah River State Park? If so, you have chosen one of the easiest places to camp with kids except that there is no food service. The sites are gravel so things stay cleaner and you don’t have to worry about picking up ticks in the campsite. The showers are right there and are nice and clean. And there is a huge sink where you are actually allowed to wash dishes. Most parks don’t allow you to wash dishes in the utility sink so you have to deal with hauling dishpans full of water to your site, which is a huge pain. The bugs will be killer, though.
dc mom anon says
yes, its near there: https://www.downriver.com
i’ve been there once and i don’t remember any sinks, but i am not planning to cook much. We are also planning to go next weekend, I’m hoping there will be less bugs than at the height of summer. One other thing i forgot to mention, I am 6 months pregnant. Maybe this is a bad idea.
avocado says
The campground I am thinking of is in the park itself. I have not been to the place you’re going so cannot comment on that one.
If you are going to camp with a 2.5-year-old at 6 months pregnant, you are much braver than I. Let us know how it goes!
Kim says
https://www.nps.gov/shen/planyourvisit/campgrounds.htm
Pogo says
We went camping as a family last year when SIL’s kiddos were 2.5 and 5. The hardest thing with the 2.5 year old was she was in the midst of potty training. How is your 2.5 year old on that front and with public bathrooms in general? Niece was not a fan of the bathrooms – they were too scary (relatively dark at night, full of strangers and bugs… etc). And too scary = didn’t want to to go potty = trouble in potty training land.
If kiddo is still in diapers that actually makes it easier, I think.
They were so exhausted from all the excitement that they slept really well in the tents while the adults all sat around the fire drinking beer for another couple hours. I was amazed by this and we may have just gotten lucky.
I’m obviously biased because I love camping, but I think you can do it!
MSJ says
I took my then nearly two year old twins on three camping trips last summer and plan to do it again this year now that they are nearing 3. Definitely do-able!
The trips at the end of the summer were far easier than those at the beginning, because they got better at not testing boundaries and putting things in their mouth. So 2.5 is a great age
Naps are tough, so you might want to coordinate them for a stroller ride/drive if your kids really needs it. Bed time is also more difficult than at home – I had to lie down with them until they fell asleep and it involved lots of crawling all over and suffered several kicks in the head. they also tend to migrate out of the sleeping bags over the course of the night, so warm PJs are a must.
Otherwise, the key to success is being flexible. The kids loved being outdoors. And eating marshmallows. For an overnight trip, I just don’t worry about showering. Save it for when you get back. If your kid isn’t potty trained, diapers are easy. If they are, you might want to look into a potette/portable potty. And just bring tons of wipes for hands, faces, etc.
And just bring lots of layers, because it can get cool at night
If you have any specific questions – please let me know!
CLMom says
To add a related tangent to this topic…what about beach camping?
I’m in LA and we’re taking our 2 year old beach camping in October. Hopefully with another family or two with slightly older kids.
Anonymous says
Don’t get a site adjacent to the beach. The campgrounds we use have some sites on sand and others on ground, and I strongly prefer the ones not on sand with little ones because they aren’t good about wiping feet before going into the tent, etc.
Otherwise, nothing too specific. Obviously you’ll be living in sand. It’s hard on the diaper area. Bring baby oil to help remove sand and vasaline to help rubbing. Prepare for showering off kiddo.
EB0220 says
I have a 2.5 and 5 year old. My experience is that camping only gets really fun when they’re about 4. Before then, it’s doable but work. We actually just went camping a few weekends ago. The kids had a ball, but the toddler didn’t get much sleep. It’s a different setting – the tent, the nature noises, the rustly sleeping bag. So my kiddo had trouble falling asleep and woke up really early. That being said, it was still super fun. We are experienced campers, FWIW. We have solid gear and a good campsite process so we don’t have to worry about that element, which might make a difference in the fun level. That being said, I would definitely go for it if I were you. Try one night at first for sure. And definitely don’t bother with showers, but wipes are useful for stinky feet and very dirty faces!
SC says
I think it’s more work than it’s worth until Kiddo can follow directions, and I’m super impressed with MSJ’s ability to camp with 2-year-old twins.
Rainbow Hair says
My opinion: https://thehairpin.com/its-insane-that-anyone-goes-camping-b0deb1c6f37 ;-)
Momata says
I think it’s totally worth it. I’ve gone camping for one night at a state park campground (with playground, electric hookup onsite, and walk to wash building) when my daughter was 9mo and again at 2.75. Being prepared to quit and go home is key. We had to do so at 2.75 because she woke up in the middle of the night and FREAKED THE EFF OUT. So, be ready for that.
Otherwise, here is my stream of consciousness advice: I think a 2yo can understand “hot” and “no touch.” Just make sure everyone is wearing shoes and the area around the fire is clear of obstacles. There is a “Maisy Goes Camping” book that helped my daughter understand the concept before we went. Also consider setting up the tent in the back yard first (even if you don’t sleep in it as a dry run) so she understands. Bring ALL THE WIPES and all the layers, including a hat for sleeping in. Consider driving to the campsite during naptime and driving home during naptime so that naptime is one less thing.
My daughter was totally engaged just being outdoors all day at that age. Dragging sticks through the dirt, throwing rocks in the water, watching bugs — I loved seeing her mind just relax and soak it in.
NewMomAnon says
I’ve had kiddo around camp fires since she was barely 2 – if anything, I did too good a job of scaring her, because she won’t go close enough to feel any heat at all. Which is just fine by me.
FWIW, I’m hoping to do some overnight camping trips solo with kiddo (she’ll be 3.5) this summer. My plan is to set up the tent in the morning, hang out all day, and if bedtime is a disaster we’ll go home. If it goes well, we’ll pack out the following morning.
Kim says
We tent camp with the kids; the first we took when she was one, the second when she was 6 months. Just embrace the dirt and you’ll be fine. I like that they can run all over; I am more relaxed than around the cars zooming down the hill on my street where we live. We have a strict no-running rule when the campfire is lit – they can run farther away, but not near the chairs which make a perimeter. If you teach the kids to use the bathroom in the woods you don’t have to worry about the icky bathrooms. Bring lots of goldfish, water, and applesauce pouches. If you regularly camp, there will be no issue. If you rarely camp, it will seem like a big lift. Search the archives; there was once a great comment thread about camping with kids.
Kim says
PS – if you can go somewhere with a swimming area, you don’t have to worry about baths in the icky bathroom!
Kim says
Try Burke Lake in Fairfax Station, VA. It’s not so far, and there’s a 7-11 down the road.
Anonymous says
Husband and I love camping, so we took our little people and had a good time. It is work and not relaxing, but it’s still fun if you enjoy camping. If you’re not into camping, then hold off until they are ~4.
Tips to having fun camping with a toddler:
– Stay close to home. Shorter drive and peace of mind in case you need to cut it short.
– Don’t PT immediately before going.
– Bring another family or grandparents. The more the merrier at this age, because honestly the kids get kind of bored and the extra hands help because one of you is FT on watching little one. (BUT make sure that there isn’t a “I thought YOU were watching him” situation).
– Have an activity away from the campsite every day.
– Playgrounds are a mixed bag. On one hand, it’s an easy way to entertain the kid. On the other, you may end up spending more time at the playground than at the campsite, which isn’t so much fun if you were hoping t hang out with friends.
– Expect less campfire time. Remember that in later years you’ll have those family marshmallow roasting fests and for now do a little fire before kiddo’s bedtime and another for you and DH after.
– Understand that you may be up at dawn :) Don’t stay up too late!
Lyssa says
Question for those of you who have potty-trained girls – is there a way to make it less messy? I knew that when we had a boy, there would be . . . aim issues. But I figured those days were over. However, when little girl sits down and goes on the potty, it shoots out everywhere unless I get her sitting (and still!) in just the right position. What’s up with that? I’ve never realized that we had that ability going on down there. Any advice to stop that?
EB0220 says
Daycare taught my younger kiddo to squeeze her legs together on the toilet, and that helps significantly.
Anonymous says
Make her sit up straighter. The direction of the spine is the direction of the pee, to some extent.
Anonymous says
Try straddling the seat more and leaning forward.
Ditto that it’s the direction of the pelvis.
Try having her use a little potty (bjorn, ikea, etc) or a stool so that her feet are resting on the ‘floor’, which will help align the pelvis as you want it. The little pottys also have a splash guard.
anecdata sought says
For those of you who became pregnant quickly with #1, did that have any effect on conceiving #2? I got pregnant 12 days after removing my IUD, and was sick instantly (and constantly for the entire pregnancy), and it was not at all what I expected. It worked out wonderfully and I am very grateful it was so easy to conceive, but I want to be ready if that happens again. We are thinking about #2 and I’m wondering if I should prepare mentally for another insta-pregnancy or if past performance is not indicative of future results. I can also see myself stressing out if it takes a really long time. Just curious what others’ experiences have been.
anon says
I think getting pregnant that fast is a fluke, and has little to do with how fast you’ll get pregnant the next time.
My sister got pregnant on her first try with her first kid and took 6-7 months with her second. A coworker got pregnant on the first try with her first kid and is now nearly two years into trying for her second. She’s not even 30 yet, so it’s not an age thing.
NewMomAnon says
Total second-hand anecdata, but a lot of the second time moms I know who had an easy first conception were surprised at how much harder it was to conceive the second time around. That’s no guarantee, of course, but I’ve heard it from at least 5 different people. It might also be that the moms who had a hard time getting pregnant the first time around didn’t talk about it much so I don’t hear that side though….
Anonymous says
This was me! Got pregnant the first time right after I stopped taking the pill. Took five months to get pregnant with #2 – which isn’t a crazy long time but was definitely unexpected.
October says
I got pregnant right away with #1 (first month of trying) and again with #2 (well, with #2 we were not trying, but because I was monitoring my cycle I knew it was a possibility). If you are charting/aware of your cycle, I wouldn’t think it’s out of the ordinary to have another quick pregnancy, especially if you are on the younger side. However, if you’re back on hormonal birth control then I don’t think you can predict anything.
AnonMN says
I have two people in my life who were instapregnant the first time. It took one 1 year to get pregnant the second time, and the other 2.5 years and the use of clomid.
On the other hand, I was TTC for two years (while they were both instapregnant) with my first, and then pregnant within 3 months with my second.
I really don’t think you can know or guess. We started trying earlier with the second and were super surprised by how quick it was, leading to a closer age gap than I had “planned” but really, you can’t plan such things.
PregLawyer says
Do you have more info about the friend who needed clomid for number 2? I’m TTC my second, and just found out (after 5 months of no success) that I’m not ovulating. I have an appointment and ultrasound with my doc in a couple of weeks, but it kind of took me by surprise.
Anon says
I have a close friend who wasn’t ovulating, due to undiagnosed PCOS. She went on clomid; the first month she still didn’t ovulate so they upped her dose, the second month she ovulated but no conception, the third month her husband was traveling, and she got pregnant the fourth month. I think there is a finite amount of time you should take clomid (maybe 6 months?) since it can thin the uterine lining, but I also think it’s fairly successful in jumpstarting ovulation if you find the correct dosage and there isn’t a more serious underlying issue..
AnonMN says
Unfortunately not a lot of info. But I know her doctor was super casual (she’s not at all type-A like most of us) and said they could run a million tests or they could try clomid for a few months. She didn’t go to the doctor until after 2+ years of trying, but the clomid did end up “working”.
rosie says
I would highly encourage you to take Clomid under the care of an RE rather than an OB, unless the OB is extremely engaged, will monitor you w/ultrasounds and bloodwork, etc. There are definitely risks with Clomid, and there is some debate over whether there is a lifetime max that you should use it (my RE didn’t seem totally persuaded that it was a big deal)–plus the side effects can be unpleasant, so no reason to subject yourself to those if it’s not a helpful drug for you. And on thinning your lining, my understanding from my RE is that either it happens or it doesn’t, it’s not more likely to happen over multiple Clomid cycles, so if you do experience it, you want to know about it right away.
Pogo says
+1
Mostly because I did NOT want to have sextuplets. If you aren’t monitored you could absolutely release multiple eggs and end up with multiple babies in there…
I never had the lining issue nor did my RE make a big deal out of it.
TK says
Pregnant first month trying with Little TK (I was 35.) Been trying for a sibling for 26 months now. I’m 39 and a half, likely isn’t going to happen but I maintain some hope. Not identified issues with me or Mr. TK; not considering IVF but may consider adoption. I’m going to go back on BC when I turn 40.
Sister in law got pregnant right away with her first, then had 3 miscarriages before IVF for second kid.
Just anecdata of course. I think Kat may have had a post about this a while back?
Anonymous says
Pregnant with #1 first month. Pregnant with #2 second month. Not gonna find out what would happen for a #3!
Anon says
Theres no way to know, unfortunately. So you should prepare mentally for getting pregnant asap, or for it taking 6+ momths (or longer). That is the wonderful mindf__k of trying for a baby. (I took 6 months/7 cycles with number 1, currently on 4th cycle of trying for 2)
AwayEmily says
We are “trying twins” — I am also on 4th cycle of trying for #2. 8 days till testing!
AwayEmily says
Regression to the mean! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regression_toward_the_mean
FTMinFL says
I was pregnant in the first cycle after IUD removal with #1 and #2. Are you generally aware of your cycle and have you remained regular with your IUD? Not needing to wait for ovulation to return is obviously a step in the direction of becoming pregnant quickly, but I had a friend with the same experience coming off the pill twice.
Anonymous says
I had three insta-pregnancies.
bluefield says
I don’t ovulate naturally, but every time I do ovulate (with drugs) I get pregnant (4 times now…2 miscarriages though). So it’s possible that you and your partner are magical together. It’s possible that it was a fluke. There’s really no way to know.
Katarina says
I got pregnant in the first cycle both times, so it can happen. I did track my cycle. I was 32 and 35.
Anonymous says
First month of trying with #1, my second pregnancy (ending in miscarriage) happened after 2 months of trying, and my 3rd pregnancy (WIP) took 1 cycle after the MC. I was on the pill prior to #1, and had an IUD between #1 and the 2nd pregnancy.
That said, we garden a lot. So… YMMV.
Andi says
I got pregnant the first cycle trying three times (lost the second pregnancy though). Early 30s.
Anon says
I’m curious as it took my 6 cycles each with my first two pregnancies (one miscarriage followed by one birth). Those were long cycles, so 7-8 months for 6 cycles. Following the both, my cycles are much closer to 28 days, so I’m really interested to see how long it takes this time and whether it is yet again 6 cycles.
Anon says
Okay Hive, please be somewhat kind but firm with me today, ha. I’m a little fragile from my beat down of a work week where I was pulled from a deal team (see below) and my boss was given credit for work that I do completely independently (without him) in a large meeting.
I am in a work environment where a layoff is looming. Our part of the business is being sold and we will either go with the new company or be laid off with a severance package. My area of the company/business is very typically “old boys club”. I have spent the last few years showing my worth, and then using that showing to help turn the tide a little against the old boys club.
I’m on a two person team where my near-retirement manager only became my manager because they were restructuring for the sale and didn’t know what to do with the two of us (he’s been at the company for 38 years, so has seniority). He is equal parts awesome, because he lets me do what I want, and infuriating, because I do 80% of the work (he has a lot of business knowledge, but I have all of the legal/negotiating/technical knowledge) and he gets all the credit.
For the upcoming sale he and I play a HUGE part in getting it done and making it work. Based on this I worked hard to get him to invite me to the deal meetings. And it happened. It was awesome, I was able to show my worth, and frankly, it felt really good to finally be getting accolades for the fact that I do the bulk of the work around here. Then a major speed bump hit the deal (not related to our work at all). Everything has been on hold for a few months, but it is getting back on track.
The Big Bosses are now involved to ensure no further speed bumps and have declared that only one person per team is allowed in the meetings. So i’m out. My manager has advocated for me to be back on (because he has admitted to me that he needs me there to help understand the work, requests, etc), but Big Bosses say no, they want to keep it small. I still field a lot of the questions and do the work for the deal (behind the scences, so Big Bosses don’t see it), so it’s super infuriating.
But, one of the Big Bosses (who also decides our bonuses) is currently asking around to see “what everyone’s plans are” aka asking if we are planning on staying until the end, and if not, what might keep us here. My manager has advised me to be somewhat honest “i’m sticking around because I love my job, want to see what the new opportunities are, and for the retention bonus, but I have had other opportunities come up”(all true). I can’t decide what to do. My boss has implied (and I know) that they really NEED us to stick around until the end.
So, can I be honest about the amount of work I do? Should I ask to sit on the deal team again? Or does that seem inapprorpiate for a meeting like this?
Kim says
I have never worked in the situation you are in. But common sense says since a layoff is looming, I’d lay it all on the table, because if you don’t trumpet your worth you may be out of a job. And simultaneously polish my resume, because politics.
Anon says
Thanks for this advice! And worry not, my resume has been polished since the announcement was first made, ha.
mascot says
I don’t think it’s necessary to bring up that you are looking. Presumably everyone is looking and they could use that information as justification to cut you. If you have an offer in hand and can ask for a counter, that is different.
NewMomAnon says
It sounds like the writing is on the wall that you’ll be laid off even if you’re a superhero during this deal. Am I wrong? You’ve been stuck in a weird business unit that doesn’t have a business purpose, with a boss who doesn’t seem to be much of an advocate, doesn’t seem to have much political clout, and is at least one foot out the door to retirement. Realistically, what opportunity do you think exists in the current company after this deal?
If a layoff is imminent, why bother fighting the fight? Do the minimum amount necessary, lay the groundwork for a new job, and be honest in your interview that it would take significant bonus cash and/or promise of super awesome promotion and pay raise post-sale to keep you around until closing.
Anon says
OP here. It’s not the current company i’m fighting for, but the new company, who is planning on taking some people, just not all in our current business unit. We will not know until further down the line who gets a job offer and who gets a severence package.
Through my work on the deal team, I get more exposure to the new company, and therefore a bigger shot at showing my worth. If that makes sense.
Anon says
I would lay it all out, personally. You sound like a rock star who will succeed wherever you end up and will have a great recommendation from your current boss. Your manager will be up a creek if you leave – and he knows it – so you won’t be the only person giving the Big Bosses the message that you are necessary to the successful conclusion of the deal you’ve been working on.
I agree with you manager – you should tell the Big Bosses that you are committed to staying, provided that it’s worth your while. You don’t need to say, “I do all of [manager’s] work, but you should absolutely say [I know that [manager] very much values my contribution and relies upon my ability to get things done.”
Good luck. Calm, cool, collected and fact based conversation – you got this!