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My youngest loves balls so this 3-in-1 Sports Zone from Little Tykes is a favorite!
This sports toy features basketball, bowling, and soccer. It plays 75 songs, sounds, and phrases (although just leave the batteries out if you prefer silence) and has an adjustable hoop that grows with your child.
Best of all, it folds up for easy storage — we keep ours in a dead space right next to the couch.
The 3-in-1 Sports Zone is $39.99 on Amazon.
Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Spring Mid-Season Sale: Up to 50% off 100s of styles
- Nordstrom: Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
- Old Navy – 30% off your purchase; up to 75% off clearance
- Target – Car Seat Trade-In Event (ends 4/27); BOGO 25% off select skincare products; up to 40% off indoor furniture; up to 20% off laptops & printers
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Pinging yesterday's commenter re: Kayla Sullivan in a small IN town says
Just sending a friendly wave to the poster from the small town where she was a news anchor previously: I think we live in the same campus town in the cornfields. Boiler Up?!
And if you haven’t seen it, here is again the link to Kayla Sullivan’s parenting reports: https://www.today.com/parents/cute/mom-uses-tv-journalist-voice-tiktok-report-sons-tantrum-rcna11400
Anon says
Yes I’m a Boilermaker! Hi!
Pinging yesterday's commenter re: Kayla Sullivan in a small IN town says
Very cool!
Makes me wonder whether we run in the same circles (maybe less now due to Covid…), but you never know.
Anon says
Yeah, we don’t really run in any circles these days, lol. Do you have kids in campus daycare?
Pinging yesterday's commenter re: Kayla Sullivan in a small IN town says
In the past, yes. My kid is older now :)
Anonymous says
I loved this.
Boston Legal Eagle says
It’s a sad life where I feel grateful that I’ve had childcare (that I pay $$$ for at least for daycare) for the full week. I know I’m jinxing myself here.
A question for those who’ve had Covid run in the household: If one of you or spouse tests positive (assume everyone else is negative for now), have you then had that person isolate from the rest of the family or do you just continue joint parenting? It’s a little tricky because with school kids at least, they can go back to school as long as they don’t test positive so there’s some incentive to not spread it but on the other hand, solo parenting is… not fun, to say the least. We’re not in this situation yet but just thinking ahead.
Anonymous says
Yes we isolated the person. I’d still prefer we try not to get Covid.
lawsuited says
We isolate the parent who has symptoms until we get a negative test. Which is never me because I’m the mom and don’t get sick. It is the WORST. And probably a ploy to get more quiet reading and/or screen time.
anon says
YES!! Same here. DH has had it TWICE.
Anonymous says
We have a 2 year old, who brought it home from daycare (we assume, since his class closed for 10 days due to a positive case). He tested positive first. We did not have one parent isolate from him, we both continued jointly parenting, since in our small apartment we assumed we would all catch it anyway. Two days later, my husband tested positive. Then I did the same two days after that. We both had very light cold symptoms.
Anonymous says
Oh, I did sleep on the couch while my husband was symptomatic, but it wasn’t enough to stop me from catching it.
Anoner says
Same- 4.5 yo had it first, didn’t try to isolate since we live in apartment- both husband and I test positive on same day a few days later – I was already boosted, no symptoms at all besides a headache, husband had cold symptoms. 2 yo daughter had fever and cough but tested negative the whole time!
Anon says
It hasn’t happened yet but we’ve decided not to isolate. We’re all vaccinated and I think transmission is pretty much inevitable with Delta and Omicron (I felt differently pre-Delta) so it just seems like a lot of effort with no reward.
GCA says
I was thinking about this as well. In an ideal world I guess we’d try to isolate, but we live in a small apartment with one bathroom…
Anonymous says
We haven’t been hit yet but expect it soon. Our plan is to isolate anyone suspected or confirmed to be infected. I would rather solo parent than parent while sick, and I’d much rather solo parent healthy kids than parent sick kids while sick with a sick spouse. In our county uninfected kids are actually out of school longer than infected ones (15 days’ quarantine for household contacts v. 5 days’ isolation for infected persons, which is bat$hit crazy because they are not verifying that kids are symptom-free or have a negative test after 5 days so they are probably letting many infectious kids go back to school), but I’d still rather minimize the spread within the household. I have been stockpiling freezer meals in preparation.
anon says
Not sure yet, but we are thinking that sick parent will mask with a N95, and sleep in the downstairs guest room.
anonamama says
Spouse slept in separate bedroom/used separate bath. Masked (N95/Double Surgical) when in shared spaces. Kept social distance (furthest distance in a room) open windows when we could (so basically CDC guidance.) Gatorade, OTC pain meds, XL heating pad were helpful.
Anon says
Have 2 children and the youngest was exposed at daycare on a Thursday. Started showing symptoms on a Saturday but didn’t test positive by Monday. I tested positive (asymptomatic) on that Monday as well but husband and oldest tested negative and have continued to do so. We didn’t isolate because we figured the damage has been done and also because both me and my husband would not be able to switch off the kids and work. Also, my youngest has been okay in the grand scheme of things but sick and it would have been very emotionally draining to deal with on my own in a room for 5 or so days.
Anon says
Kids are 1 and 4
SBJ says
My almost two year old brought it home from daycare. We also have an almost four year old and a six year old (vaxxed). The four year old can’t go to daycare as a close contact; the six year old can go to school as one. The practical reality for us is that isolation is impossible. Between the size of our house, DH’s work commitments, and three kids, two of whom share a bedroom, it doesn’t work. I agree with the previous poster who said Omicron changed their view on this. If a parent had gotten sick earlier in the pandemic, we would have tried to isolate that parent. It could be that if a parent had gotten sick first, we still would have done that. But for us, with the case our kid brought home appearing mild so far, isolation just didn’t seem practical. Besides, our kids were all over each other before the positive test & symptoms appeared anyway. It sucks either way, I can tell you that.
So Anon says
I’m really struggling with how I will handle this. Given that you are contagious 2 days before symptomatic, I just don’t know if it will be worth it to try and isolate whomever tests positive in my house. I’m a single parent, so I can’t isolate myself from my kids. I would not ask my mom who is 73 or their dad who is a type 1 diabetic to take the kids. So I think I’d just call it at that point and hunker down in the house for however long was necessary.
Anonymous says
You could still wear a high-quality mask and minimize your exposure to the kids, though?
So Anon says
As a single parent, no, you cannot minimize your exposure to your children who still need to be cared for.
HSAL says
I think she’s suggesting that the high-quality mask would itself minimize exposure.
Anonymous says
HSAL, yes.
Anonymous says
If you are WFH and your kids are in school, patient zero is almost certain to be a child. You can isolate a school-aged child relatively easily.
So Anon says
Agree that a kid in school is likely patient zero. In theory, yes a school-aged child can be isolated. However, I cannot see myself not cuddling my sick child, who is also likely scared about having Covid.
Anonymous says
I disagree that you can isolate a school-aged child relatively easily, although it depends on your child and your living arrangements. My 5 year old had a positive PCR (asymptomatic) last week. He’s a gregarious, loving kid, who is already upset that he can’t play with friends. If we tried to exclude him from family meals, morning cuddles in our bed, playing in the same room as siblings, that would be a disaster. He’s been sleeping in my office in a sleeping bag rather than the shared kid bedroom, we’ve been able to open some windows, and the kids imperfectly wear masks when playing together, but that’s the best we can do without massive disruption, and we don’t feel omicron warrants massive disruption.
Anonymous says
Maybe my kids are lazy, but they’d take any excuse to sit in their rooms with an iPad and a Nintendo Switch for a week.
Anon says
Yeah, it would be incredibly traumatic for my child to have to eat alone, play alone, not be hugged or cuddled, etc. This is true generally, but especially when sick. Make everyone mask up, sure, but strict isolation would be really really hard on many kids.
Anonymous says
Oh yeah, he’s happy to sit alone playing switch and watching ipad… the disruption there would be “WHY DOES [SICK KID] GET TO DO SCREENS ALL DAY AND I DON’T?! I WANT TO GET COVID!”
Computer lab room and video game room are family areas, they wear masks when sitting next to each other gaming.
So Anon says
I should also add that I have an autistic son, so the idea that I can just radically change how we operate as a family, even in the face of illness, would be extra difficult.
anon says
My understanding is that viral load and extent of exposure can affect how sick you get (e.g., asymptomatic vs bad flu). From that perspective, I think we’d try to mask at home to reduce sharing the virus given that my kids are elementary age. That would be much, much harder with babies or toddlers (and probably completely impractical). But for my bigger kids, we’d probably use masks and do our imperfect best, still assuming that we’d all get it but with hopes to minimize symptoms.
Anon. says
Agree with this.
Anon says
Yeah I said above we wouldn’t isolate, but I think we’d all wear masks.
anon says
We only lightly isolated – my husband didn’t share a bed with me and he didn’t cuddle our toddler or hug me (me+toddler were positive) but we didn’t mask in the home or do much in the way of further isolation. This was Delta, not Omicron, but he never tested positive. We were both triple vaxxed and candidly, just not as concerned about the impact to us of getting COVID given our age, health status, etc.
Anon says
When my 7-year-old got it the second week of school, he and his Dad isolated at the in-law’s house (they were out of town) and I stayed home with the 1 year old (had her tested about 4-days after he tested positive, sent her back to school after we finally got the negative result back.) 7-year-old was pretty sick for about 4 days, but later was able to join remote school for the remainder of his 14-day quarantine period. The baby and I went to visit (outdoors, distanced) every day or two, Miraculously, none of the rest of us (all vaxxed, except the baby of course) got sick or tested positive. Of course it was a mess – DH and I were both pretty unsuccessful working from home with our respective wards – but grateful we all came through relatively unscathed at the end.
anon says
Yes, we isolated and solo parented. We both ended up getting it anyway, as did one of our kids. :(
Anonymous says
100% isolate. Public health guidance is to clean the bathroom between uses. Everyone masks if isolating person has to go into kitchen or something.
Parent who is not isolating could sleep in the kids room if don’t have a spare bedroom.
I’d be livid if I found out that a parent was positive, not isolating and sent their kids to school.
Anon says
I said above that we wouldn’t isolate but we definitely would not send kids to school if a parent or sibling had confirmed Covid. It’s prohibited by our school policy, but we wouldn’t anyway.
Anon says
Our school (K and up) changed their policy as of January so we can send a kid even if a sibling or a parent is positive. Have to keep them home once they show symptoms or are positive. I think it’s a really important change to normal! I also have three other kids though so maybe I’m just grateful for that reason.
We also haven’t had covid yet so it hasn’t been an issue. And some parents are keeping home siblings to be extra careful, but I think it’s time we stop being livid with each other and start to extend grace in this new omicron world.
Spirograph says
100% agree, and this is how our school is handling it as well. Vaccine status is tracked for all students, non-cloth masks and regular testing is required. I feel fine about the fact that my kids might be in class with a vaccinated, asymptomatic close contact, and relieved that I won’t need to have 3 kids at home if one tests positive.
Anonymous says
We might have tried to do this in April 2020, but it seems like massive overkill to me at this point. The risk/reward for this type of vigilance calculation is very different than it was even a year ago. And cleaning the bathroom in my house 5+ times/day is ridiculous.
This is like the baby sleep guidance to have the kid in your room for at least 6-12 months, and never cosleep. Like, that’s nice for experts to make that recommendation, but as a practical matter there are major quality of life impacts that will lead people to make different choices, and the overwhelming majority of those choices will work out just fine. Putting it out there as The Only Right Way sets up impossible standards that either make people anxious or throw up their hands and ignore it all.
Anonymous says
I just don’t see how giving the entire family COVID improves quality of life. Several households in my extended family have all been down with COVID at once and it’s horrible, even if some members of the family have “just a cold.”
Anonymous says
Cool, you can make a different choice than I did. We did not all end up with covid at the same time, despite our flagrant disregard for constant bathroom sanitization.
Anon. says
I think it is wise to try to minimize exposure to the extent you can.
Isolating in a separate space if possible, mask wearing, air filter and/or opening windows as much as you can are still ways to minimize spread within a family – lower viral load plus vaccinated parents could mean that you will not get it from your kid.
I hate the fatalism of saying “we’re all going to get it” – statistically you will probably be ok, but what if you and spouse and all kids get sick and one is a statistical outlier with more than cold symptoms?
Also, lowering viral load might help avoid Long Covid, which is still a thing even with a “mild” case. (Don’t even get me started on that “mild” definition.)
Signed, a scientist with training in virology.
Anonymous says
I think the “we’re all going to get it” sentiment is driven by fatigue. There is an op-ed from a mom in the NYT about this. The gist of it is that she wants the rest of the family to catch COVID from the infected child so she can assume that they are all immune and doesn’t have to go around engaging in constant risk analysis and worrying when the other shoe will drop. I understand the temptation, but I don’t want long COVID. I was constantly sick until March of 2020 and it really messed with my quality of life. I haven’t been sick since then and don’t want to get long COVID and go back to that way of living.
Anon. says
I agree with this being probably a sentiment caused by fatigue.
To assume that once you had it, you’re “done”… this is just not how viruses operate, and it is not based on any scientific fact. I know people who’ve had Covid 3 times – spring 2020, summer 2021 (fully vaxxed), and now Omicron (3 shots). You’re not “done”.
The more Omicron spreads, the more likely it is that the next variant with who knows what awful features will emerge.
Anon says
It’s how some viruses operate (measles, polio). But it’s not how this virus appears to operate.
Anon says
For our school if you can’t isolate the infected person your quarantine period starts over
Anonymous says
No, we changed nothing for a couple of reasons: 1. I wasn’t going to skip Christmas morning 2. We’re all fully vaccinated, 3. I wasn’t sure it was covid since I only had a bit of stuffiness, a sore throat /cough and some tiredness — I sniffed some scented candles and had a sense of smell, so I thought it could be just a cold (info about how loss of smell is not really an omicron thing wasn’t til later).
My husband started having a little sore throat 24 hours later and felt crummy for a day or two, the kids never showed any symptoms although one tested positive on PCR 2 weeks later (after testing negative 3 days before that). I understand there’s a range of opinions based on everyone’s family situation, but I am extremely unconcerned about my kids getting omicron. It’s going to happen, and it’s going to be fine. The school exclusion will be frustrating, and for that reason I would have preferred if they’d just had it at the same time
Anon says
I think it matters whether the person was just exposed or is actually infected. If we knew an adult in our household was exposed, we would try to isolate that person. You’re most infectious right before you have symptoms, so if we found out about the Covid exposure by the parent getting sick/testing positive, it seems like it would not be worth isolating at that point, because transmission likely would have already happened. If our kid were the one who was exposed/infected, we would not isolate her, because I think that would be traumatic, but we probably would have her wear a mask except when eating and sleeping.
Anonymous says
Transmission isn’t an either/or thing, though. Viral load matters.
Anon says
Yes, to a point, but this isn’t 2020 and we’re all vaccinated with adults boosted so very unlikely to get severely ill no matter what. Anecdotally, I know many people who got it from household members who had very mild cases and people who got it from very minimal contact (e.g., grocery shopping while masked) who had more severe symptoms so I think it’s pretty hard to predict and while viral load may be a factor it’s definitely not the only predictor of how sick you’ll get.
So Anon says
I guess this is the downfall of having a school that is incredibly transparent with its communication. My 5th grader has been a “close contact” of a positive case in his classroom pretty much every week for the last 6. The school participates in pooled testing, so they are picking up asymptomatic cases. He has not tested positive, yet. He is fully vaccinated. I have not adjusted anything upon receipt of a close contact email.
Anon says
Yeah I guess when I said exposure I really meant “high risk exposure” – indoors, without masks. We’ve only had that happen once in the last two years. My husband is a professor teaching in person and we don’t quarantine him every time a student of his tests positive because that would be all the time.
Anonymous says
My spouse and kids had covid in November. We didn’t isolate because by the time we figured it out, the kids were both positive. I will say it was fascinating because even though I did not have a booster at the time, I did not get covid. And this was with having two little kids coughing in my face 24/7. I also shared a bed with my spouse – who was fully sick – and I did not get it. I was willing to take the risk then (for myself). I also could not imagine isolating my healthy self and having my ill spouse try and take care of the kids.
We have discussed the scenario of one adult (or one kid) getting covid, and whether we would try and isolate now – and the answer yes. If we can isolate the positive person we will try. But at a certain point the numbers just don’t work out – provided we are talking about symptomatic positive cases. One sick parent can isolate. What happens with two sick parents and negative kids? This is honestly why we would try and isolate positive parent, so other parent can be with the negative kids! However, if both kids or both parents are positive, we will likely not isolate. This is obviously so fact specific, but these are some of our thought processes. I totally understand the feeling that it is just inevitable, and we will all get it! But if we have 1 positive parent, no positive kids, and the ability to do so, we will try and isolate. (Which even “the ability to isolate” has so many different factors – work responsibilities, size and set up of house, remaining mental capacity!)
Anon says
What are your favorite parenting books that you actually found helpful?
Anonymous says
Untangled by Lisa Damour
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen
anon says
How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen. I use it for reference when there’s a specific issue.
Mary Moo Cow says
I’ve read How to Talk, Siblings Without Rivalry, all Janet Lansbury, 50 Risks to Take with Kids, Time to Parent, and have How To Talk When Kids Won’t Listen on my nightstand, and 6 years in, I think the only one that is actually helpful is 50 Risks to Take With Kids. It is bite sized, common sense advice/tidbits. Maybe it is also the Bluey bias, but she’s Australian and I love some of her terminology.
I am feeling a bit salty about parenting books because I read them, DH doesn’t, and we both muddle along with the same amount of success. Makes me think that I’m wasting my time.
GCA says
Does Bluey count?
Anon says
LOL. There are Bluey books for kids! My 4 year old prefers reading about characters she already knows through TV or movies, so Bluey books are in regular rotation in our house.
DLC says
Playful Parenting was helpful for me moreso with one child than the other.
Parenting between the Lines. I liked because it reminded the there is no one method and how little control i have over my kids.
Help with 3yo insanity/mornings says
Moms, help! Our 3yo has been waking up between 5-5:30 for about a month now, even when he doesn’t nap. He goes to sleep between 7:30-8:15 and usually naps at daycare (this week), though didn’t nap at home for most of extended winter break, so that part doesn’t seem to make a difference. When he wakes up, he HOLLERS, and is ready to go for the day. He always has to use the bathroom, often #2. He sleeps in a pull up but it is usually dry, and he doesn’t want to use it, he wants to use the potty, which I feel like I can’t argue with. I feel like at this point, his internal clock and his #2 clock are set at 5am and my husband and I are sleep deprived and desperate to change this. Prior to this, he would sleep till 6:30-7:15. He also wakes up his 5 yo brother in the next room if I let him yell for us more than once, and his brother really needs the sleep (plus having 2 up is worse than 1) so I try very hard not to let that happen.
Help!! How can I train him/his body to sleep longer and not have to poop at 5am? I always say everything is a phase but this feels long.
He is also a generally insane/spirited 3 year old, who doesn’t really want to “chill” after we get up.
Anonymous says
Can you put a little potty and some wipes in his room?
HSAL says
I’m dying at the idea of giving free rein of a potty and a pack of wipes to my fully trained three year olds.
anonM says
Commiseration. We had a similar issue with these 5/5:30 wake ups and it was brutal, especially with two as you note. It did get better after about a month but it was ROUGH. Honestly, DH and I traded off and sometimes let them watch a show in our fully-childproofed basement while we laid half-awake on the couch. At one point, it was just the 2yo, so we would let the 4yo sleep in our room and then I could enforce the ok-to-wake Hatch clock (4yo told teacher he was tired, so had to fix that issue!) This de-incentivized the waking a bit, because then the 2yo was stuck in their room until 6:30 instead of free-range play time.
As for the pooping – some prune fruit pouches should get things moving a little earlier. At least with my LOs, I’d rather have a 2am poop wake up than 5:30, because they go back to sleep at 2, but definitely not at 5:30. Good luck!
Anon says
Would eating dinner or a snack a little later in the evening help?
AwayEmily says
We’ve dealt with the same issue on and off (kids’ internal clock resetting, leading to early AM yelling for us). Here are a couple of strategies that sometimes have worked (note none address the potty issue, though)…
1) Consequences/rewards: we told my 3yo that if he continued to yell in the morning, we would move him out of the room with his sister (obviously this wouldn’t work in your context but maybe you can think of another “natural consequence”). Then, after he didn’t yell for a couple of days, we promised him a “no yelling party” to celebrate a week of no yelling if he kept it up. He managed to keep it up and we had cupcakes and a few helium balloons.
2) Deliberate reset: over a long weekend, run them HARD during the day, don’t let them nap, and then put them to bed on the later side of bedtime, with melatonin. Keep your fingers crossed they sleep past 5:30, then do it again the next day.
Good luck. It suuuuucks.
Anonymous says
Adding a LOT of prunes helped us change the timing of #2 for my child from 8:30 pm (after bedtime) to earlier in the evening
FP says
I may get flamed for this but we have a very similar situation – our 3yo is just an early riser and my 5yo needs the sleep. Here is the compromise we came up with: if he gets up before his light changes color (6:30 am) he has to come use our bathroom so he doesn’t wake his brother up. If he can do that quietly, we give him his tablet to take back to his room until the light changes color, so he usually has a good 45 mins of screentime first thing in the morning. Solidarity. I’ve been exhausted for months.
Anon says
Wanted to post a story/start a thread for moms of 2e/special needs children. I’m a regular poster anonymous for this for additional prviacy for my child. We had him evaluated for learning issues at 8 and he was diagnosed with ADHD, inattentive sub-type & sensory processing issues. We’re also about to start CBT for a feeding issue. Navigating diagnoses/therapy/OT/school supports is a LOT. Thankfully my husband is involved (the therapist/doctors are all pleasantly surprised there, apparently a lot of dads resist diagnosis/labels and refuse to seek or attend therapy) but I still drive the logistics as we’re covered under my insurance.
Happy to answer any questions about this process and talk about what’s been helpful – ADDitude magazine, ADHD tiktok, our therapist’s newsletters, and the ‘your spirited child’ books were all really helpful in reframing how I approached a lot of our parenting struggles. I also (and this is painful but for the best) simply cannot/will not discuss this with our families – both sets of parents are against ‘labeling’ our child and feel we’re ‘pushing’ this on him and ‘just not tough enough’.
Anonymous says
When the problems first surfaced we scheduled an evaluation, my husband told his dad about it, dad made some comments, and my husband refused to proceed. It took several more years and a number of disasters before my husband finally agreed to the evaluation. We then had to wait several months, the initial diagnosis was botched, and it took another year to get the correct diagnosis and plan in place. I am still furious about the permanent damage that was done to our child, to my sanity, and to our marriage during those lost years. This time around we have told no one in our family except for one much older sibling and their spouse, who went through similar things with some of their kids who are now grown.
Just a note on terminology: “Twice-exceptional” means gifted + special needs. These children’s needs are vastly different from those of neurotypical children, from those of gifted children, and from those of children who are not gifted but have the same diagnosis.
Anon for this says
Oh my gosh, thank you for posting. I came here to ask some questions following that thread yesterday. I read it and started crying because I recognized my six year old kindergartener so much in there and I’ve been really struggling with how to take steps to help him.
He’s a really bright, sweet, wonderful kiddo in many contexts and by any school report we’ve ever gotten, a delight to have in class. But as he gets older, at home we get more and more extreme meltdowns, including physical aggression. We have two younger kids and I both hate for them to see this example and also realize as they get older how different my eldest is in terms of both coping with his own emotions and how he needs to be parented. I used to think all parenting advice was crap because it never worked and now I see plenty of it work great on my middle kid! With my eldest, almost anything can send him into an enormous meltdown, the force of his screaming is almost shocking, he often gets physical (rushing at us, throwing things; luckily not too violent but it’s escalated over time), and then it will burn out and for him it’s like nothing happened while I remain shaken. The instigating factor is usually something like he doesn’t want what’s for dinner, as in the type of pasta isn’t what he was expecting, the meltdown occurs, and then he recovers and eats dinner fine. He also really struggles with basic tasks that I think should be pretty straightforward at 6: getting dressed in the morning is a 20+ minute nightmare with meltdowns on the way and then extreme distraction in the whole process. He cannot be left unattended for any part of it because he will immediately become distracted and forget to get dressed. He can’t get out the door on time ever because he cannot stay focused on the task at hand. I could go on and on. It makes me feel like a horrible parent constantly because I’m clearly not meeting his needs and my other two kids are suffering. I also do a lot of solo parenting, which means the divide and conquer option isn’t there.
I asked the pediatrician at our well visit last month and she was like but he’s so great! Here are some places you could call for an evaluation. I just wish I had some sort of clue of what I’m asking for. We’ve seen a therapist, but the therapist does more talk therapy and find my kid charming (because he is!) and I’m not sure how helpful it really is. I think my kid works really, really hard to hold it all together at school because there are some skills lagging so it takes a lot of effort, then loses it at home.
I guess what I’m asking is a) does any of this sound familiar to other parents and b) what has been most helpful in terms of figuring out what the issue is and c) what type of support/services have helped the most? I know this is all on us to figure out, since he’s a great and bright kid and school will never see the problem.
Anonymous says
IME the primary outcome of talk therapy is a nice perpetual revenue stream for the therapist. CBT is demonstrated to be effective, but it can be difficult to get even teens to cooperate and I don’t know if it’s used at all with kids as young as 6.
Anon says
CBT can be harmful for ND patients though.
Anonymous says
Interesting–can you elaborate? It’s about teaching you to reframe your thoughts productively. It’s not ABA.
Anon says
A lot of CBT therapists don’t understand ND thinking or experiences well, so they inadvertently try to “correct” perceptions that aren’t actually inaccurate. And unfortunately they often try to treat issues as if they stemmed from disordered thinking when they do not.
For example, they’ll try to treat sensory issues as if they were phobias (like people can get over their “fear” of flickering florescent lights) or focus issues as if they stemmed from “beliefs” (as if believing “I have trouble focusing” is the problem in ADHD, and believing “actually I can focus!” is the solution–got to break that negative thought pattern!). They may also read a ton of emotional valence into statements that ND people may perceive as objective facts (because of the double empathy problem).
CBT can be really effective for issues that stem from disordered cognition and consequent behaviors. But when somebody’s issues don’t actually originate in disordered thinking, it can easily veer into gaslighting.
I’ve seen DBT and sometimes ACT recommended as better options for working on things like emotional regulation and alexithymia along with other therapeutic goals.
Anonymous says
Some aspects of ADHD, especially the anxiety that is often co-occurring it, can benefit from CBT, though. Rejection sensitive dysphoria, test anxiety, and task avoidance are examples. You can’t cure ADHD by convincing yourself that you don’t have it, but you can improve the self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors that pile themselves on top of the attention deficit.
Anon says
Yes, if there’s distorted thinking going on, CBT can help with it.
But clunky CBT can really backfire. Imagine a therapist telling your teen that the mean girl clique at school is actually their friends and they’re just imagining the snide comments, etc. because of their RSD and distorted cognition… and because they often feel overwhelmed by sensory input socially they aren’t easily able to convey the small things they’re picking up on to the therapist. And then it all blows up later.
It’s also not helpful to be told you’re self-sabotaging when you’re not (a therapist told me this when I had undiagnosed autoimmune disease; it actually messed with my head for a while, thinking that I could be rid of my symptoms if I could just get my psyche in order, until I was finally diagnosed and prescribed the appropriate medication that worked 1000x better than therapy).
I do think that different kinds of coaching/scaffolding are really helpful for ADHD, but I think it all works better without the assumption that the therapist is rational and the patient is causing their own problems by being irrational (sometimes that’s true, but it shouldn’t be assumed).
Anonymous says
Well, of course a bad therapist is going to be harmful, regardless of the type of therapy. But kids with ADHD and anxiety spend a lot of time spiraling about how they can’t possibly do things that yes, actually, they are capable of doing, especially once they are on the right medication.
Anonnnnn says
I can’t speak from a parent’s perspective, but this was me when I was 6 aside from the rushing at people. Kids with spectrum disorders and/or ADHD can sort of burn themselves out at school which makes them more volatile at home. School is often an extremely difficult sensory environment for ND kids especially. Teachers loved me at school, and I loved learning, and I was really well behaved at school. But the costs of that good behavior were really, really high for me. I honestly would never send a ND child to a conventional school no matter what accommodations they claimed they were making unless it was unrecognizably different from school as I remember it.
Anonymous says
Kids with ADHD, sensory issues, etc. are prone to “restraint collapse” after school. They spend all day holding it together in a sensory environment that is challenging for them, and when they get home they are just DONE.
Anon says
This sounds so much like my 4-year-old. The getting dressed thing — I can lead him to his shoes, put the shoe in his hand, and watch him start to put it on, but if I turn my back the next thing I know the shoe is on the floor and he’s off playing! He’s truly not trying to be a stinker, he just gets something in his head and off he goes! Arghhhh
I also have a six-year-old that has a similar intensity (and anxious thoughts…) and yes, I feel like everyone thinks I’m a bad, permissive parent. I heard a saying once that I have clung to as proof I’m not crazy — spirited kids choose conflict rather than compromise. I said to my husband last night that I don’t think parenting is this hard for most people.
I have high hopes that my third child will just be normal/average/easy…a Honda rather than a Ferrari :P
Anon says
I’m having a similar experience with my 4 year old. Our pediatrician looks at me like I’m an idiot and says “4 year olds have meltdowns” but it’s so far beyond what I’ve seen from other kids that I really think there’s something more going on. And I learned that sensory issues and anxiety (which she definitely seems to have – she was so scared of the potty she couldn’t pee without a diaper until a couple months before her 4th birthday) can be a trigger, so I’m really concerned that she’s suffering internally and that’s what causing the outward explosions. We were on a waitlist for play therapy and finally got an appointment for January and then we got a message a couple weeks ago that the guy retired and our appointments were all canceled so we’re back to square one.
Anon says
This sounds like my kid to a T (less physical, but there were a lot of BIG emotions). What helped us were what his therapist calls ‘scaffolds’ (support, but visible so they know and understand what you are doing). Also – 100% what someone mentioned below about burnout – it is SO SO common for add type kids to be intense people pleasers (I was!) so they hold it together at school but are just done when they get home. The fact that he’s melting down with you shows that he knows he is safe/in a safe space.
In terms of concrete actions – visual cues/lists/routines are your best friend. Make a list of what needs to happen every day and pare down as much as you can. Divide things into time blocks and identify the best time to do them – our kid showers at night and puts clothes out then as it’s too much to do in the AM. ‘Getting dressed’ is actually a bunch of smaller tasks – take off pjs, put pjs in hamper, put on socks/pants/shirt. Cleaning up = brushing teeth, wiping out sink, putting toothbrush/toothpaste back, etc. Structure things so fun thing comes after boring things (and again, chunk them out) to encourage them to just get the not-fun thing done. So after school ‘hard’ homework is done first and then we have play or reading. After dinner we shower, set out clothes, and then pack up bookbags before the TV goes on, etc.
We also talk about appropriate coping mechanisms – we ALL have bad/days meltdowns. At 6/7 we talked a lot about how to express your feelings in a way that doesn’t hurt yourself or others. When we saw a meltdown start we asked – ‘do you want a tight hug?’ ‘do you want to hit a pillow alone in your room or squeeze a stress ball really really hard for 5 minutes?’ ‘do you want to go in the yard and throw a ball hard against the fence for 5 minutes?’ ‘do you want to yell as loud as you want for 5 minutes?’ etc. Once the ‘big feeling’ was out they can better hear and process the request and listen. This is really rough – my husband had a very hard time learning to use this language/offer ways to have controlled outbursts (this is where grandparents would love to say ‘just smack him, that’ll teach him). We also talk about recognizing emotions and asking for breaks if you’re overwhelmed, fidget toys to help focus, timers for hard tasks, etc.
On the plus side for your other kids – this is all really good for them to learn to! Naming emotions, being clear about what executive function means, talking about how to plan your time, etc. I find it makes me a much better parent BUT it like emotional weight training – it is hard and exhausting, but easier the more you do it.
Anonymous says
You want an evaluation from a clinical psychologist or developmental pediatrician.
No Face says
My five year old autistic child has meltdowns. She is very bright, loves school, and is a wonderful kid.
I recognize that a school day is exhausting for her for many reasons (the socialization, the sensory inputs), even though she loves school. That means that her bedtime is very early (we start at 6:30pm), and before that we don’t do much. Just eat food, chill, and then bedtime routine.
Getting dressed has also been a MASSIVE ORDEAL in the mornings. It used to be an hour long process, with lots of screaming and crying. Now, we are doing much better! I do not expect her to do any part of it independently, even though other kids her age may be able to. I take her pajamas off and put her outfit on as fast as possible, then I let her watch tv.
When she screams and yells, I most just move on with whatever else is going on until she calms down. So if she screams because she doesn’t want to sit at the dinner table, the rest of us just go to the dinner table and start eating. My younger kid has accepted this dynamic, and will snuggle with me, eat, or play during the metldowns.
Anonymous says
Hi, I have an extremely similar 6 year old boy including nearly every characteristic you described. Thus far evaluated as normal but the parenting struggle is real and your emotions sound so close to mine. If you have a burner email I would be happy to chat.
Anon for this says
If this is to me (Anon for this @ 9:59), my burner email is not a californian 2016 at the google (no spaces) and I would love to connect. It feels so isolating to parent my in many ways wonderful kid. Sometimes it feels like even my partner, who works crazy hours and isn’t exposed to it as much, doesn’t get it.
Anon says
I posted yesterday about having suspicions about my 4-year-old…do you mind sharing some of the “symptoms” you noticed, especially at a young age? Parenting attitudes that have been helpful (I am having such a hard time not feeling resentful toward him)?
My son is not hyper and has a sweet disposition much of the time (and is great at school), but is very hard to keep on task (everything takes so. much. time.), has an iron will and intense tantrums, feels every emotion deeply, and seems to really fear rejection/has intense shame about being “bad.”
I myself am gifted and have OCD/anxiety, which I didn’t realize until I was an adult because my parents didn’t want to label me etc etc. Diving into this world and trying to be aware for, yet not project onto, my kids is hard — in a way it’s a relief, in another way it’s deeply sad.
Anon says
This is a super common symptom that I wasn’t aware of (rejection sensitive dysphoria) and it broke my heart reading about it – https://www.additudemag.com/category/adhd-add/adhd-brain/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria/
I won’t armchair diagnose but my kid was like this from the start – very spirited/stubborn, incrdibly distractable, and very very sensitive – could be a ‘sensitive’ kid, could be adhd. There isn’t any harm in reading about parenting strategies for adhd and seeing if they help your child – if nothing else, reframing it in my mind as ‘he’s just wired differently, and this is how I best parent him’ vs. ‘he’s doing this to challenge me’ made me so much more patient/empathetic.
Anonymous says
Most parenting strategies for ADHD will be useful for kids without ADHD too. They certainly won’t cause harm.
Anonymous says
One incrdibly helpful thing our therapist pointed out is that working memory is not as strong for adhd kids. She compared it to being a sleep deprived new mom, but all the time – you don’t mean to forget things but your brainpower is directed elsewhere. I had a lot of strategies I used to compensate when I went back to work and my daughter didn’t sleep well – everything was written down, I did things in the moment or made a reminder to do them on my phone later, I prepped as much as possible, etc. Translating those to my daughter made both of our lives easier – we do things in the same order when we come home (hang up coats, put shoes in cubby, take work out of backpack), we have dry erase boards on the fridge for our routine before bed, we use visual checklists, etc. Frankly, this helps everyone in our household stay more organized, not just her!
Anonymous says
I’ll bite on advice!! Any ideas to help a kid who is strong willed, resistant to change, with some sensory issues mixed in – on adjusting to new clothes?
My 4yo is too big for his old winter jacket but he will not wear the new one. We tried to buy the exact same one but LL Bean discontinued it so it’s the new version of the same jacket, different color, slightly updated. He will not accept it. My working idea now is to create a countdown calendar to when it will be time to say good-bye to the old jacket, but open to other ideas. Right now when we suggest he try it he cries and runs away from us, even when I have suggested putting his old jacket under the new one. We have this same battle with all new stuff, unless I can get the exact same, pre-approved clothing item in the next size up.
Lilibet says
Similar issue to you. The calendar idea could work.I ve had some success tying the new clothing to his age. This jacket is for a five year old! This jacket is so excited to go to preschool and play at recess. What will it say to the other jackets?! We are going to put the four year old jacket away now…what a nice time it’s had with you…tell me about your favorite adventure…
No amount of rationalization works for my kid when something is different or updated from previous brand . So not sure what I’ll do if this keeps going in a few years but for now this strategy had worked for the old shoes and coat.
Realist says
I thought this article on parenting in a feminist commune was really interesting. I’ve personally thought a lot about how parenting should be more community oriented, but I’m not sure I would be happier in a feminist commune. But maybe I would be. Because at this moment being a working American mother feels like hell.
https://www.thecut.com/2022/01/parenting-twin-oaks-commune-family-abolition.html
Cb says
I wish I could live in a feminist commune. When we were househunting, a friend and I joked about buying land and building those cool Scandi prefab houses, 1 for each family, one for an au pair / visiting grandparents.
Realist says
I think that sounds nice. So maybe that is what I want—a mini commune with my favorite people and built in childcare, so an au pair or something.
Anon says
I sort of have that. My parents live less than a mile away and we all have dinner together most weeknights and often spend a lot of the weekend together too. I would love to add my best friend’s family into the mix too. I’m introverted and would definitely NOT want a commune with strangers. And even with people I love dearly I think it’s very important that we have separate houses and aren’t together 24/7. Before they moved here, my parents would visit and stay with us and a week was really about the max I could tolerate. But with separate houses, spending so much time together is much more sustainable.
Anonymous says
Being part of a coop preschool made me finally come to terms with the fact that I am just not cooperative.
Anon says
Ha!
Anonanonanon says
HAHAHAHAHA Yes I’m self-aware enough to know that I would hate that. I don’t like group work
Anonymous says
I mean, I kind of knew going in – I was in a coop in college – but I’m also cheap, and the price was right. My husband is even less cooperative and almost stormed out in a rage mid-meeting more than once.
Anonymous says
This sounds awful and intrusive. I’d like to continue living in my own house with my own family but with universal health care, universal high-quality child care, schools with better ventilation so kids are not sick all the time, and decent PTO for all.
anonymous for this says
I spent my childhood in a different country and in some ways it was a bit like a feminist commune, minus the actual feminism or intention. More of a women can and should do everything and how do we make this work? So lots of working moms, but also not a lot of babysitting culturally. In many ways, it was a village approach to child rearing. All the mothers took turns dropping off kids and picking them up, traded babysitting, watched the kids outside, etc. It was awesome, honestly. I benefitted so much from the variety of adult caregivers! I am sure it wasn’t easy but I wish that was more the norm everywhere.
Realist says
Me too
Anonanonanon says
Along the lines of what Anonymous at 10:52 said, I have a friend who came here from an Eastern European country and is very ingrained in that community locally. On the one hand, it seems great to constantly have people who can help with basically anything. On the other hand, I would really, really hate to have to constantly be going to someone’s (insert important child milestone here), driving people places, letting people come over for meals unannounced or just unannounced in general, having people drop their kids off, etc. I’m sure she’ll have more support from that community when she is older than I’ll ever be able to count on but man the tradeoff does not seem worth it to me in this season of life.
Like Anonymous at 11:07 said, I really just want universal childcare. Way more important to me than waiving student loan debt or electric cars. I won’t even get to benefit from it by the time it would be in place but it’s still my #1 issue. That and something that resembles a parental leave standard in line with any other “developed nation”
Boston Legal Eagle says
My mom spent part of her childhood in a communal apartment type arrangement (former Soviet Union) – think shared kitchens, common areas and I think even bathrooms. I think the expectation was that all the women (never the men) did the housework and cooking all together, and there was probably some childcare too. They moved out early on but she said there was a lot of gossip, drama and everyone was always up in each other’s business. It is also still really common in Eastern Europe/Russia to have grandparents live with parents and help out with childcare (again, mostly the women). I hate drama and conflict and like having my own space so I probably wouldn’t fit in and our best set up now is grandparents nearby but not living with us, allowing us to have some space.
Anonanonanon says
I cannot imagine the drama of a communal kitchen!!
GCA says
Soooo…right…how much of the care labor in a commune would simply fall to women once again, except with more people to share the load? :) There has to be some happy medium between dystopian cooperative and dystopian rugged individualism, right? Right??? I want that happy medium.
(I suspect, having lived it, that versions of such community might be found in graduate student family housing and military family housing.)
Anonymous says
I think that happy medium is one of those sitcoms about a group of close friends whose lives are intertwined.
FSA! says
Just had to share — I switched careers from teaching to actuarial consulting 6 years ago. I took all of my exams while pregnant or being a mom, and started from an entry level job at a consulting firm and worked up to associate director, and today — pregnant with my third kid, and in one of the busiest seasons of my life — I found out I passed the last exam that will make me a Fellow of the Society of Actuaries. Am just so, so freaking proud. It takes a supportive spouse and patient kids and helpful grandparents but it was so much work — and I did it. I freaking did it. Happy Friday, everyone, I’m sobbing with happiness.
Anonymous says
Congratulations! You are a bada$$.
Anon says
That’s amazing!! Those exams are SO HARD!
Cb says
You are so, so amazing! Well done you!
AwayEmily says
YAAAY! Congrats, this is so awesome.
Anne-on says
Oh my goodness that is HUGE! Those exams are no joke, I’m in awe of you for passing them while parenting 3! I feel like I’m barely holding on with my one ;)
anonamama says
Clapping and sharing in your excitement over here! WOW. You have some serious superpowers. Celebrate and toast to your support system and, BRAVA!!!! Well deserved.
Anon says
That’s amazing! Those are crazy hard! Congrats!
Spirograph says
Woohoo! Congratulations, and I hope you’re as loud and proud in real life about your accomplishment because it’s amazing!
EDAnon says
Awesome work!!
Anonanonanon says
I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU! That’s amazing!!
So Anon says
Congratulations!!
IHeartBacon says
HELL-EFFING-YA!!!!!
AwayEmily says
Does anyone else have kids who seem totally uninterested in building things? We have Magnatiles, Lincoln Logs, regular blocks, Legos…and neither my 6yo nor my 4yo ever want to play with them. Pretty much all they play is various complicated games of pretend, usually using random things around the house (animal hospital, school, spy, superhero, kitten, etc). Which is great and I love that they have active imaginations but I keep reading about kids being engrossed for hours with Magnatiles and it’s a miracle if mine play with them for five minutes. Is this just what happens when you have two kids close in age — they inevitably gravitate towards playing with each other instead of doing solo play?
Anonymous says
It’s individual, but it’s probably easier to engage in pretend play when a playmate is readily available. My only child likes to combine building with pretend play. For example, the blocks would be used to build an elaborate multistory animal hospital. The building part lasts longer than the pretend play part.
I’d keep the magnatiles to play with myself.
GCA says
This is what happens with my kids (6.5, 3.5). Legos become elaborate fighter jets that they (er…we) then use for dogfights (DH drawing on his tabletop gaming days, with dice, measuring tape and all). Duplos become a school, a hospital, a zoo. They insist on the building part staying up far longer than the pretend play.
But don’t give away the magnatiles just yet – the next kid might be a building fiend!
Anonymous says
My son was rarely engaged in any one thing for hours at a time, but he does like building toys. Different strokes! He never wanted dress up clothes and barely touched his play kitchen.
Anon says
Individual. I was the exact opposite – wanting to build things and not really much into pretend play.
Anon says
My only child (4) only wants to do pretend play. I think it’s just personality, not a sibling thing.
Anonymous says
Do you play with them? My daughter definitely has most interest in magnatiles when me or my husband help get her started. Open ended building type play is definitely a skill. Luckily my husband quite enjoys it, so they build things together mostly. I have seen such development in the kinds of things my daughter thinks of and wants to build as time has gone on, so I really do think it is something that needs to be “exercised” to really bloom in most people.
anon says
Very personality driven. Two of my kids could build with anything. One of them only wants to do pretend play. She’ll play with the mini figs and already built sets, but she doesn’t really build.
Anonymous says
It’s really about interests in my experience. Mine have always been waaaaaay more about pretend play than building (even when there was only one of them). And if you have TWO kids who are more inclined to pretend play then yes it will be pretend play all the time. Is this a problem though?
Signed,
Mom of the only 7 year old boy boy interested in legos
Anon says
My 6- and 4-year-olds are similar. Wooden blocks have been the biggest dud of all time in our house. They LOVED duplos, but the creative play aspect — they were always making trucks, setting up emergencies and zooming off to rescues, never building towers. They are just now getting into magnatiles, but they spend far more time with their hot wheels, action figures and other pretend games. My older is getting into Legos, too, but mostly likes making cool vehicles (and “transforming bots”) rather than building structures.
Anonanonanon says
I love that they’re playing together!
Magnatiles were the only thing that was a hit with my kids in terms of building. My older one used them in his pretend play, like would build a fort and have his “guys” (different action figure-type toys) battle in them or make it a castle and have some adventure in it, an outer space jail, whatever he needed for his little adventure. BUT he was an only child for over 8 years.
AwayEmily says
Thanks for the responses, it is super interesting to hear about how differently kids play. Definitely makes me think that it’s mostly a personality thing, potentially exacerbated by the sibling-ness. And a good reminder from GCA to keep the building stuff around in case kid #3 (due in just three weeks!) turns out to be more of a builder. But maybe I’ll put away the Legos til she’s ready to not eat them…
Anonymous says
I have a builder (4yo, almost 5) and a non builder/wrecker of all things (2.5). The builder has ALWAYS been a builder, doing duplos since 18 months. She enjoys duplos, magnatiles, and blocks. The nonbuilder prefers gross motor activities, play pretend, reading books, and cars. They do play together but we also enforce quiet time. I think it’s just personality. FWIW if any blog or toy marketing piece says a child plays with this one toy FOR HOURS they’re lying. Like yeh maybe over a lifetime but not consecutively. There’s something wrong if your kid just sits in one spot for 4hrs and doesn’t talk to anyone and focuses on one toy.
Mary Moo Cow says
Yes, me! Mine are also 6 and 4. I just moved a giant tub of Lego into the attic and set a calendar reminder to get them down in 6 months because they had not been played with in 9 months. The magnitles are visible and my 4 year old infrequently builds a house for other toys with them. My girls also play with each other in elaborate pretend play games. I really would like to sit down and build a complicated Lego set with a kid, but I seem to be the only one.
EDAnon says
I posted yesterday about my 5yo (vaccinated) kid with a fever/headache and exposure to Covid last week. Both he and his brother’s PCR tests came back negative. Since my older has symptoms, we did a follow up rapid (also negative).
This all makes me want to quit my job and take up learning about disease spread. This reminds me of 2020. When we’d all been home and seen no one for 7-10 days, a few of us got a stomach bug.
Anon says
There’s an easy explanation for the stomach bug – contaminated food. Either traditional food poisoning (e.g., undercooked meat, spoiled mayo, etc) or if you got any takeout food, it could also be norovirus. It’s spread via fecal to oral route so unfortunately if you have a cook who is infected and doesn’t wash their hands well (gross, I know) you can easily get the virus via takeout food.
That said, I don’t understand how you get another kind of cold/flu while isolated and wearing masks everywhere, but it has happened to some people I know.
EDAnon says
There is no way it was food because we didn’t all eat the same thing.
Anon says
If one person gets norovirus they can pass it around the house. It’s super contagious and lasts on surfaces forever.
anon says
My daughter caught chicken pox in March 2020 when we were fully quarantined and despite being fully vaccinated for chicken pox.
It turns out our au pair had previously had shingles and likely had a resurgence from the stress of quarantine despite being asymptomatic.
Anonymous says
I posted last week about my toddler being a close contact at daycare last week. She developed symptoms over the weekend, but PCR & rapid tests have all been negative. DH and I now have the same symptoms, and our tests have been negative. We’ve since found out that a daycare “friend” last week was out the day between exposure and the contact testing positive because he had cold symptoms, and all of his tests were negative, too. My kid’s ped’s office sent a message with the PCR results that were basically like, “Your PCR test result was negative, but you should still assume you have Covid,” but the state health dept. just put out a notice that a negative Covid test probably means you have one of the 4274184793478 respiratory illnesses circulating right now because it’s still January.
Anonymous says
“a negative Covid test probably means you have one of the 4274184793478 respiratory illnesses circulating right now because it’s still January” lol yup. One of my friends mentioned her daycare is going to exclude kids with a runny nose. In January. ffs. I assume they’ll have no one in class until spring.
Anonymous says
Technically mine excludes kids with any cold symptoms, which includes a runny nose. They’d eased up on that before the holidays, but who knows what things will be like once my kid goes back. I guess I can’t complain too much about the quarantine at this point, because she would’ve been home most of this week anyway with this cold.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, there are other viruses out there! I think RSV is still leading to more hospitalizations than Covid for little kids, which… my kid was hospitalized for RSV! and they didn’t close his daycare for this…
Anonanonanon says
Our daycare is trying to mandate both RSV and COVID testing but pediatricians generally don’t test for it, at least in my area. Our ped says there is no point because it’s not going to change the child’s treatment. (obviously when a kid is sick enough to be hospitalized it’s a different story!) But it’s been fun to navigate the daycare’s unrealistic expectation. Oddly enough, they haven’t said anything about flu tests, which our provider automatically runs alongside COVID PCRs.
Anonymous says
Thankfully, RSV testing isn’t required by my daycare. The ped’s office and urgent care will test for RSV and flu along with Covid, but the health dept. and the university-affiliated healthcare system drive-through testing facility only do Covid tests. It’s hard enough with a kid <2 to find a PCR test as it is, I don't need to have the added hurdle of getting an appt with the ped or sitting in a waiting room at urgent care with a bunch of people with Covid.
When RSV was going around daycare, my kid didn't have to stay home for 10 days because she'd been exposed. And she didn't have to stay home after she got better because I'd caught RSV from her.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yes, exactly, getting RSV and other similar viruses is just a cost of going to daycare. And covid IMO is the same at this point, for little kids, based on all of the data I’ve seen. Our daycare policies are based more on the general population risks, not so much for the little ones. And yes, long covid, but again I don’t think it’s that prevalent in little kids.
Anonymous says
Boston Legal Eagle, even if it turns out that long COVID isn’t a thing for little kids, it is for the adults they infect at home. And right now hospitals in many states are dangerously overwhelmed so we need to stop kids from infecting their parents and grandparents for a while.
CCLA says
I keep seeing things like “if you feel like you have a cold, assume it’s omicron!”. But of course we were all down with something a few days ago and have tested multiple rapids plus PCR, all negative. And they were exposed at school like 3 days before developing symptoms! PCRs were 5 days post exposure and while symptomatic so I’m confident they were unlikely to be false negatives. I was certain we were in for a whole family quarantine. I am grateful the kids can be back in school for now since they are recovered and negative, but also can’t help thinking that this upcoming week was going to be a slow one and would have been a decent time for us all to quarantine. Back to waiting for the shoe to drop.
EDAnon says
I think it’s ridiculous to assume you have Covid in the face of quality evidence that you do not. I would venture to guess most omicron spread is not from people with false negatives, just because that cannot be most people with it.
Dropping bedtime bottle says
I know it’s late in the day, but does anyone have any tips for dropping the bedtime bottle? My 16 mo old didn’t resist dropping other bottles and happily drinks milk from a straw cup the rest of the day. I know the answer is probably just to switch cold turkey and deal with a few nights of meltdowns, but that seems impossible right now while trying to work with a quarantining toddler. If there’s a way that might preserve whatever shreds of sanity I have left by evening, I’d love to hear it.
Anon says
Definitely push it off until the quarantine is done. A few weeks is nothing in the big scheme of things.
Anonymous says
Is there any harm in waiting a week or two until the current crisis has passed?
Anonymous says
Thanks, I am probably too fried to think through what I’m asking. I think I’m just afraid we’ll be quarantining until March, laugh/cry.
Anonymous says
Then wait to drop the bottle until March unless it is making *your* life difficult. Seriously. Survival mode.
Anonymous says
I’d relax and ask your dentist. They’re way less militant about this than pediatricians unless there is an actual issue with the child’s oral development.
Anon says
I disagree that dentists are generally more relaxed than peds on things like bottles and thumb sucking; I’ve had the opposite experience. But I agree that you could seek out a second opinion and go with whoever is more relaxed about it. Or you could just give yourself permission to ignore them both until the pandemic situation is improved, which is what I would do.
Lilibet says
Almost 2 year old here that still has a morning/evening bottle. I’m just waiting until Spring to deal with it given the rest of my chaotic life so full permission from this internet stranger!
Other option says
We didn’t switch–just stopped doing milk at bedtime and saw no negative impact at all. Obviously kids vary and this might not be a fit for yours but thought i’d throw it out there since I spent some time stressing about switching off the bottle before realizing that quitting bedtime milk was also an option
Anon says
Did you do any camps for your rising kindergartners? Daycare school year goes through late July and public school starts early August (two week gap) so we don’t really need childcare in between. We’re doing a family vacation the first week, and we’ll likely cover the second week by taking a vacation day or two each and calling in grandparents, so she can have a relaxing week at home before school starts. I know the K transition can be rough, so I don’t want to overschedule the week before school. But I’m getting FOMO seeing all these cool camps she’s eligible for this year. Part of it is probably Covid – we’ve missed so much over the last two years and she won’t be vaccinated until spring, so it feels like this summer is our first chance at getting something resembling normal life back. Worth pulling her out of daycare for a week or two in June/July to do camps? Or is that crazy? We’re in the fortunate position that cost is not the driving force here. I won’t sign her up for anything without her approval, but I thought I’d ask for thoughts here first because I expect she’ll agree to any activity I propose right now. As a friend joked the other day, even a vacation to Siberia sounds appealing at this point.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We didn’t. Daycare pretty much is camp by that summer, isn’t it? I know our Pre-K room did some “academic” work until May or so, but after they held their graduation ceremony, it was just play. I’d keep the consistency of daycare for now and then you can join the fun of selecting 9-3 camps next year!
Anonymous says
Summer camp is awesome, but for parents day camp is such a logistical nightmare that I’d hang on to day care for this one last summer. Also, if you use up all the cool camps too early you’ll end up with a fourth-grader who says “meh, been there done that” to every camp you suggest.
AwayEmily says
Nope, we got every single last drop out of daycare. Also, consider that she might miss any “farewell” activities at daycare if you pull her out at the end (at ours, kids who are leaving have a “goodbye circle” where everyone in their class says nice things about them, and mine would have been super sad to miss that).
Anon says
Good point, we definitely wouldn’t have her miss the last week for this reason! At our daycare many people have family abroad and start departing in May or June to spend the summer with family, so I don’t think there are any big farewell events after the spring “graduation” (which isn’t happening this year b/c Covid) anyway.
Anonymous says
We did. Our town park and rec runs a program for kids 3-middle school that is 8-3pm for entering K-6. 3s and 4s go 8-12:30.
We finished with daycare in July, signed my incoming K—er for one 2-week session in august and we went away for the other two weeks. Took the last week off-ish as she went back to school. She was able to meet some kids that were going to be in K with her at the park and rec camp.
My middle was entering K this year. We did 2 weeks of a nearby summer camp where she had friends and future classmates because we had met more people in the district by then. My youngest will be going to K in 2023 and we’ll probably have a nanny take them to the pool club all summer (there’s an 8 year wait list and we finally got off!).
Paging poster looking for child masks says
Earlier this week, a poster was looking for masks for kids. I just got a notification that maskc has new inventory for KN95 masks, including those for children. I haven’t tried the kids ones myself, but I like the fit of the adult ones, which have also been restocked.