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Future baker in the family? This play patisserie would make an indulgent gift!
Get ready for hours of make-believe with this wooden bakery. It has 39 pieces, including a range of baked goods to prepare and assemble, a mixer, and a pay terminal (guess no one uses a cash register anymore). In addition to storytelling, kids will count, sort, and work on fine motor skills. Make sure they save you a cupcake or two!
Melissa & Doug’s La Patisserie Bakery is available at Amazon for under $75.
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Kid/Family Sales
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The Mastercat Band says
I am looking for book recommendations for a 6yo absolute beginner at reading – any favourites? Thanks!
Anonymous says
When you say “absolute beginner” are you looking for books a 6 year old indepenent reader can tackle and enjoy? Or a book you can read to the child? Or a book the child can read out loud to you to practice?
Some ideas:
Frog and Toad (checks all boxes). My kindergartener is getting the hang of reading and she can read most of these books, and when she gets stuck or tired I take over. They are fun and silly.
Princess in Black- same as above. Pretty achievable for an emerging reader but probably too much to read the entire thing solo (except mine has them memorized so can do it). Bonus: yelling EAT GOATS.
Any “I can read” level 2 books from the library- there are tons. These are good confidence builders but the plots are…lacking. They come in all themes from pokemon to my little pony.
All the Elephant and Piggie books. My kid can read these basically solo, with occasional help on a word or two. They are very repetitive.
AIMS says
+1 to Elephant and Piggie.
If you’re looking to actually teach reading, I recommend the Bob books – they are great for helping with sounds and are more fun than most “early reader” books that are just totally charmless and don’t make anyone want to actually read. I only discovered them with my youngest but they’ve already been super helpful.
Anonymous says
Counterpoint: we found the Bob books to be incredibly boring. The I can read level 1 and 2 books were much more interesting.
Anon says
Yeah I got some Bob books for my 5 year old and she refuses to read them because they’re “boring baby books” and I can’t say I blame her… they are mind-numbingly boring compared to even simple picture books.
Anonymous says
These are more of a “kid reads a few words, you read the rest” series, but Rabbit & Bear
TheElms says
Scholastic Books has a line called “Acorn” books. They are a cross between a book and a graphic novel, so full color pictures on every page. There are several different series so you could pick one about a topic your 6 year old likes. I think the series about Frog and Dog is probably the easiest in terms of reading difficulty.
anon says
Seconding Acorn books as great for very beginning readers, and then Branches as the next step.
Anon says
Llama llama series.
The Foot Book
The Gruffalo (lots of words, but lots of rhyming and repetition)
Little Critter
octagon says
The Jon Klassen books are clever and very beginner-friendly. Specifically, the Hat Trilogy – We Found a Hat, This is Not My Hat, I Want My Hat Back, and the Shapes Trilogy – Circle, Square, Triangle.
Anonymous says
Can we do a gift thread? Kid ages and what they want/what you are getting them. I’d like to read through for inspiration :)
Here’s what we have so far as ideas – they won’t get all of it and certainly not all from me & DH!. We have a lot of extended family that is asking.
10 year old girl [what she really wants is an iphone but that’s not happening]: ski boot bag (she now needs an adult size), calendar for the sports team she’s obsessed with, pj pants with her fave sports team on them (she already has a jersey), dazzle dry nail system, the game “what do you meme?” incoherent family edition, swiftie themed necklace, the mp3 player we talked about here yesterday, a pair of ugg classic boots, a new winter puffer [not ski] jacket (she might get this early), headbands for sports, a pair of lululemon shorts, new suitcase, kindle paperwhite, bluetooth headphones, new water bottle.
7 year old: possibly a goPro, a custom jacket from her dance studio, taylor swift calendar, ugg boots, possibly a kodak printer camera (her big sis already has the INstax). She really loves taking and editing picutres so I’m not sure what she’ll end up with. Also getting a seat attachment for her hoverboard. Fuzzy sheets. A stuffed animal, american girl doll school setup, new suitcase, matching doll and girl pajama set, possibly new ski mittens, new water bottle, any “i survived” graphic novels that she hasn’t read if I can find them.
5 year old: american girl doll (her first/only!), rainbow unicorn earmuffs, unicorn headphones, play doh (her request), lego kits, matching doll and girl pajama set, not sure what else- this kiddo is both easy and hard since she loves everything but also as a 3rd girl we have a LOT already!
Stocking stuffers so far: face masks, nail polish, bath bombs with gems inside, taylor swift coloring book,
All 3: considering a zipline, a second LL bean snow tube (they fight like mad over the one we have), possibly a nintendo switch.
Anonymous says
1 year old: learning tower, duplos, a ball, slicing vegetable toy, clothes for the spring – Open to more ideas. Her aunts keep asking me.
Anonymous says
When my kids were 1 and too young to care about more than the wrapping paper and the first 3 toys, I loaded up on future stuff. Spring clothes, maybe summer toys (water table? bubbles?), ride-ons, lunchboxes or water bottles, bath towels or other bath toys (bubble bath, foam, finger paint, bath crayons), art supplies, stickers, books, bed sheets (i assume a Big Kid Bed is in the next year or so), sun hat, play food.
Emma says
It’s cold where I live so we’re getting her a small slide/fort module for our basement for my 15mo. I realize this has a short lifespan but it might help kill some time on cold winter days and I can sell it on marketplace when we’re done. We found a pretty cute one on Wayfair. Which learning tower are you getting? I’m looking into it too. My family is sending megablocks and cute spring clothes mostly.
TheElms says
My 4.5 year old still plays with the little tikes slide we have. She integrates it into forts she builds, and uses it as a ramp to race cars down, sends stuffed animals down the slide, etc. It might get played with more than you expect!
anon says
Haha, my 6.5yos still play with their little tykes slide! They pull it out in the summer to slide down into their wading pool.
Anonymous says
My suggestion for one year olds is the little people farm set. Still a fav in our house but since my 3 year old says it’s his, 1 year old sister is getting the little people tractor set for Christmas. Also recommend the pig toy with coins you put in the slot. All annoying loud toys but well loved in our house. Also my in laws got my son a cozy coupe for christmas and honestly witnessing the magic of Christmas when he came into the room in the morning with that under the tree with my first kid-Christmas was amazing.
Spirograph says
+1 my kids loved the Little People farm for years! We still have the animals (they have merged with the duplos), but the barn that made noises when you opened and closed the little gates is rehomed.
Boston Legal Eagle says
+1 on the piggy bank with coins. My younger kid loooved that for years.
Cb says
I found this year harder.
6 year old from us:
A USB microscope and slides
Stunt scooter
Some card games, fossils, and candies for the advent calendar
AND tickets for Legoland Billund at Easter. I’m going to make an advent calendar.
Grandparents have gotten minecraft lego, a viking shield, and a light saber.
GCA says
8yo wishlist: various Lego sets, multi-tool pocket knife because he’s earned his whittling chip in cub scouts, Pokemon cards, matching family scarves for our local soccer team, Dragonwood game. He also needs a new bike but that could be a 9th birthday present (spring birthday).
5yo wishlist: various Lego sets, science kits, art supplies, Labyrinth game, marble run or spirograph set.
Both kids: an art museum or science museum outing day
Anono says
3.5 year old: small trampoline, hot wheels tracks, new arts and craft supplies, legos.
Most of that is from grandparents. I love the idea of functional things like big boy sheets and summer supplies so he has something to unwrap Christmas morning from “Santa”.
Anon says
From us, my 5 year old is getting an American Girl doll (mine from childhood), a dance/cheer outfit for the local university and then a bunch of more practical stuff (art supplies to replenish things that got used up, Karen Brewer books, new sneakers).
My parents got her a pirate ship Playmobile thing that she found in a catalog, and my aunt is getting her AG clothes and accessories. A few of my closest friends send her stuff too but I’m not sure what they’re getting.
Mary Moo Cow says
8 year old: wants: Power Pony, American Girl doll car, AG Hogwarts Express, skates, instant camera and paper, and I Survived books. What she’s getting: the car, skates, instant camera, books, earrings, t-shirt from her gymnastics place, and in her stocking, a hot cocoa face mask, a bath bomb, a Harry Potter bookmark.
6 year old wants: AG doll, stuffed animals, books. She also said she might not want anything but, instead, give her gifts to poor kids. What she’s getting: AG doll, doll outfits, books, a puzzle, t-shirt, and a stuffed tarantula (she’s obsessed with jungle animals and since she already has all the big cats…) and, in her stocking, same face mask, bath bomb, and something to be determined.
Joint present: a Nugget couch.
TheElms says
4.5 year old has asked for: a bigger scooter, a trampoline, art/craft supplies, a spirograph, Race to the Treasure board game, Qubix by Magnatiles, AirToobz, dragon figurines and books, Scribble Scrubbies, unicorn chapstick, a plastic jewel ring, a multicolor click pen, squishy toys, bath bombs, play foam (we don’t know what this is – she said its one piece like playdoh but softer so she might mean slime)
almost 2 year old to the extent we can tell wants: a new baby doll and baby doll accessories , play food she can cut, all the stuffed animals, and everything her big sister has at the moment her sister is using it …
Anon says
haha the last bit made me laugh :)
Anonymous says
From parents, two sets of grandparents, and two uncles:
Joint (8 and 5 boys): play dough refresh, more magnetiles, watercolor paper, a couple games like Set, a bouncer thing that is a ball with a platform around it (looks like Saturn, is for standing and jumping)
8 year old boy – Model Magic, sweatshirt for the sports team he likes, almanac, the next Harry Potter book, gel pens, winter hat with the cartoon he likes, pjs.
5 year old boy- slippers, model magic, winter hat, books, coloring book, pjs.
We are Jewish and have a very gifty family with a tradition of a gift every night of Hanukkah. That said, we typically do lower price tag items and many are second hand.
Some years the kids I’ve been more excited to find exactly the right gift (most popular: a capo for a toy guitar and tongs) but this year their interests are less specific .
Anonymous says
A Pogo Ball! That was the hot toy one year during my ’80s childhood.
Spirograph says
ooooh I love Set and should get another game! My kids somehow left ours outside in the rain recently (whyyyy?)
Spirograph says
From parents / Santa
7 year old: Poster about black holes, a sushi-making kit and a kindle paperwhite.
8.5 year old: also a kindle paperwhite, and some doll things
10: “big heavy blanket” (per his request) & gamer setup stuff: headphone stand & “big mousepad”
Each of them is getting new slippers.
For everyone from grandparents, aunts & uncles: #6 & 7 illustrated Harry Potter books, subscription to Nat Geo Kids magazine, full-family matching PJ’s (from & made by grandma), some other ridiculous homemade clothing the kids will love from my sister, and a carnivorous plant garden
Stocking stuffers – bath bombs, socks, toothbrushes, playdough, chapstick, nail polish (for the boys too… they like to coordinate with sports teams)
Anonymous says
Almost 7 year old: I made him an “outdoor adventure kit”: a camp chair, a hammock, a headlamp, a rite in the rain notebook, a gillie net, and a first aid kit. He’s also getting a giant dinosaur he’s been asking for.
Two year old twins each get: a micro mini scooter, a green toys wagon (different kinds) and camp chairs.
I got caution tape, a yo-yo, lots of candy and coloring pencils for stocking stuffers.
octagon says
8 yo: Spy Science kit, fun math books (by request), body paint markers for swim meets, Hive and Tsuro games, 1/2 size guitar. He’s due for a new scooter but I’m not sure if we’re ready for that yet. Grandparents buy a new Knowledge Encyclopedia every year, we have about half the set at this point.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
6-year-old: Tiger stuffed animal, Luke Skywalker action figure, Uno, Cruz Ramirez (from Cars) care, T-shirts with my or DS’ alma mater on it
Almost-3-year-old (based on his interests, he doesn’t fully understand the concept of gifts): Melissa + Doug Spelling Board, Leapfrog ABC Backpack, Number Bots, Water Blocks – a lot of these were suggestions from this board because he loves more traditional “academic” things!
I posted this on the main site – my IL’s ask for “Christmas Hints” annually. It took me years to figure out this, to them, is a detailed list of exactly what you want (colors, sizes, etc.). When I haven’t provided the detail and just shared general interests, the result tends to be a knock-off, 1000 of tangential things (Oh! Kid likes dinosaurs? Here are 15 dino stuffies from 3 different family members!”), or ultimately raises more questions (which I would redirect to DH). I appreciate that this way everyone gets “exactly” what they want, but this exercise wears my patience every year, so I take 1 hour, make the list, and call it done.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Hard to know what to get my kids this year, honestly. Younger one just had a birthday, it feels like (end of October), and older one doesn’t really ask for stuff. Older kid (7.5) is very into magic at the moment, so maybe some sort of magic kit, and also something Minecraft related. We own all of the I Survived books already. It used to be easy when he was very into legos, but now less so. Younger kid (5) does like legos so maybe some sets there. And other craft related gifts. Nothing big comes to mind. We did just take them to Great Wolf Lodge, wish that counted :/
Anon says
It counts! I don’t count something like a zoo membership that we would buy anyway, but if a special trip is planned around the kids’ interests it totally counts imo.
Anonymous says
7 year old: Marvel figurines, legos, coin drop game (this one is so fun and easy!), light saber.
5 year old: Playdough kitchen (she still loves this), art supplies, reversible stuffed animal, some princess lego sets, two wheeled scooter.
We got them an instax camera last year and i regret it. Too many pictures of the wall and it’s hard not to see $1 bill coming out every time they take another blank.
AIMS says
Good morning! I didn’t get to comment again yesterday but just wanted to say thank you for all the suggestions and support to my cranky children question/gripe yesterday. You all raised some good points. It was honestly also nice to just know that I’m not alone in this. This is something I really value about this community.
I think ignoring is definitely a good idea and maybe it will help me to think of it as a strategy as opposed to just “giving up.” I also didn’t think about separating them (admittedly hard in a city apartment) but that probably plays a big role in at least some of our chaos. I’m an only child so I think sibling dynamics don’t come naturally to me, but this is definitely an issue that is aggravated by them fighting with each other and they are both easier when it’s one on one, kid to adult.
I think for me personally just making the decision that I am not going to yell is surprisingly helpful. Not that I won’t slip but I think a lot of this – for both me and them – is just habit.
Anon says
I commented yesterday but i was thinking of your post again this morning as my twin 5.5 year olds spent the morning yelling and whining as we were getting ready for school. So thank you for posting bc being reassured i don’t have devil children and knowing it’s not just in my house is helpful!
Cb says
I’m convinced its the run-up to the holidays. Last year, in a very fine moment of parenting, I threatened to take a present to the charity shop every time my son asked me about presents…
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Solidarity – I thought about that thread this AM, too!
My 6 year-old woke up upset because our breakfast and dinner today are apparently all his little brother’s favorite things and that’s not fair (we don’t template our meals around kids favorites so…not sure where this came from), and my almost-3-year old lost his marbles a few times, including when: 1) I changed his bedsheet because I think he wanted to sit on the bare mattress; 2) I wouldn’t let Google Home play his requested song for the THIRD time, etc….
Anonymous says
The number of meltdowns we have had because “we have sibling’s favorite food-pasta- every week but not miiiiiiiiiine (mashed potatoes).” So many!!
Anonymous says
In case this is helpful- sometimes the best way to separate my kids in small spaces is to stick one in the bathtub. I have an 8 year old that will spend an hour there. If she’s extra cranky, I let her have a snack there too.
She’s out of the way, eating, my other kids can do their thing.
AIMS says
Love this, snack included!
Cb says
Bath snacks are definitely a highlight in our house. Frozen berries are especially good for this – take ages to eat.
Anonymous says
Add an alexa playing taylor swift and you can stretch this to a full 2 hours in my house.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I’m also an only child so having a loud house is disconcerting to me too. I know sibling disputes, especially when tired, are normal, but still hard to listen to! But when they do play well with each, it’s awesome.
Anonymous says
Another thing to consider–are you getting any decompression time between work and kid pickup? As someone mentioned yesterday, it’s very difficult to switch straight from work mode into parenting mode with no downtime or quiet time in between. A walk or a tea break in a silent house before the kids come crashing in can make all the difference.
Cerulean says
I am SO glad we went with the daycare closest to our house. I’m able to come home, put my stuff away, and take a tiny break before picking up my kid a few days a week. It makes a huge difference in the flow of our evenings.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I need to be more intentional and build this time in. It’s harder on the days I do pick-up from the office, but I can definitely (while we’re a touch slower through the holidays) do this right now on WFH days.
The days I sign off at 5:15 and sprint out the door for pick-up vs. the days I stop at 4:30 and take 20-30 minutes for me make a world of difference in my patience levels and attitude.
Anonymous says
Yeh we had friends who lived down the street from the in-home daycare. The dad would get home at 4:30 and just sit in silence on the couch for 25mins until picking them up at 5. I think not looking at your phone and actually having quiet can help a ton.
Cb says
Gut check –
My 6-year-old LOVES his ukulele class but HATES practicing at home! Ideally, he’d do 10 minutes or so 3 times a week, but we struggle to get 1 practice in (full-time wraparound care so evenings are admittedly tricky). He is slow to do it and sometimes forgets the chord progressions he’s learned in class, resisting my husband’s efforts to show him.
We’ve threatened to call it quits, as the class is expensive and he’s been a pill about practicing, but this does seem mean given how much he enjoys it when he’s there?
Anonymous says
I might give it six months and then re-evaluate. My oldest has been doing jiu jitsu since he was four. Around age 5-6 he HATED going: whined all the way there, goofed around or pretended to be tired the entire time he was on the mat. DH and I both had conversations with him to see what was going on. It basically boiled down to: it’s hard and I don’t want to do it. I respect that, but this is literally the only activity we do, and he’s better off doing an activity twice a week than left to homework or free play. We told him we’re sticking with it since we paid and it’s ok to have off days and sometimes you have to do hard things to get better at them. At age 6 it just kind of clicked and now he enjoys it a lot. He’s making progress (not that that’s the most important thing but it helps his confidence). If it hadn’t clicked, we’d probably have let him quit. Also a note about practice: my oldest is supposed to read nightly and we honestly really struggle to fit everything in. I’d say we get about 3 nights per week. I think just a few minutes of practice per day can help. I am still struggling to build this habit in my house though so you’re not alone.
GCA says
What does he love about class, and can you replicate some of those elements at home? Could he practice in the morning instead of the evening? Would he take instruction from a YouTube video? (But yes, a lot of skills like this do really just take regular practice and that’s also an essential life skill.)
anonM says
6 seems young to really enforce practicing, the fact he loves it is great. But, I’m biased here because my almost-6yo has largely refused to participate in any activity, so to me it seems like a win that he’s found something he enjoys like this. Maybe the classes become a birthday/holiday gift? A past coworker of mine had godparents/grandparents pick a sport/activity for each kid, and kind of helped sponsor that activity. I thought it was a great idea – the person felt tied to that activity and would come to a recital/game a year, and by the time the kid graduated it was a real bond for them. YMMV of course, but just throwing that idea out there as a different approach. FWIW, I don’t really blame him. The time I enjoyed band the most was long after the lessons and classes and rigid practice schedule, when a kind college prof let me join the jazz band and just show up, 2nd or 3rd chair, no practicing, just learning enough for concerts (as I had the easiest parts lol). :P
AIMS says
My kids do piano and their piano teacher said that it’s more important that they love music than that they practice daily. I’m going with it. One thing that helps is to not call it “practice” – for example, if I ask to hear what song they’re learning, they’re more likely to play for me than if I say “time to practice piano.” Also, I don’t play any instruments but if Mr. AIMS brings out a guitar and “jams” with them, they’re more likely to actually do it than if it’s a chore on their sticker chart. Also – at 6, we aimed for just 5 minutes, which sounds like nothing but is a good way of building a habit. They will play more on their own as they get better and learn more.
NYCer says
+1. I don’t think you need to be a stickler about practicing at age 6. It is great that he is enjoying the class for now.
Anonymous says
Have you tried having him practice in the mornings? This worked much better for us than in the evening. 10 minutes shouldn’t be that difficult to squeeze in.
I would stay out of his practice as much as possible. I have a degree in music performance and was semi-pro at one point. When my daughter was taking piano lessons she would beg me to help her practice, then yell “you don’t know anything about it!” when I tried to explain ways to practice that were not just banging straight through the piece and stopping every time she made a mistake. It’s better just to leave them to their own devices. They will either figure it out or decide to quit. Make sure he knows how to read the chord diagrams and then let him refresh his own memory about chords and progressions he’s forgotten.
anonM says
Lmao this makes me feel so much better. Love that a semi-pro player got told the same thing as the rest of us! Haha.
Anonymous says
Don’t ask him to do it on weeknights. Can he perform for you on weekends and have that count as practice? Can you make some kind of joke about it and have him wake you up to ukelele music? Or honestly…he’s 6. Stop lessons for a while and let him play around on it, resume it when he’s a little older.
Anon says
My son (8) is playing cello for the first time this year. He’s also supposed to practice for at least a few minutes every night, but we boiled it down to once on the weekend and once the night before a lesson (for 5-10 minutes… enough to play the thing they’re working on three times through). I get that weekdays are crazy, so maybe pegging practice to a regular weekend activity would work? (Eg after lunch on Saturday we practice).
The lesson is free at school and we just pay to rent the cello, so maybe my calculus is different. But my son is progressing, happy and I haven’t heard any negative comments from the teacher so for now this “bare bones” practice strategy is working. Next year we will have to reevaluate if he wants to continue and what his effort will look like. And maybe having the teacher reinforce the importance of practicing if he wants to continue will be more effective?
But my 6yo son has been begging to learn the ukulele all year! (School also offers a ukulele club when he’s older, so we’ll wait til then)
Anonymous says
Girl he’s 6?! Chill.
Anonymous says
For a 6-year-old in ukulele class I don’t think practice is that important unless he is frustrated that he isn’t progressing. Ukulele class tends to be more of a just-for-fun, basic music literacy sort of thing. If it were piano or an orchestral instrument I’d say he needs to practice a few minutes most days of the week at this age to start building the habit.
Cb says
Thanks everyone! You’ve all made me feel better. T heads to school at 7:30 and gets home around 5:30, so it’s a struggle to get anything done during the week.
He really seems to enjoy it so maybe we just need to ignore the practicing and see if peer pressure/natural consequences will help. He thinks the teacher is impossibly cool, and his classmate is older, so maybe he’ll feel some pressure to keep up with her.
Anonymous says
Not sure if this is helpful but I’m currently taking guitar lessons and our teacher makes a point of never letting us say the word “practice.” When we’re at home, we just “play.” Saying to your kid, “Why don’t you play a couple of songs” feels really different than, “Practice for 10 minutes.”
Anon says
Ooh I like this spin!
Spirograph says
I have taken piano lessons for most of my life and this is how I frame it. When I don’t feel like practicing, I just play things that aren’t my lesson/current project… I go back to old pieces I learned a long time ago, or pull out songbooks, or the hymnal. It’s all practicing at some level! And weirdly, I find that if I step completely away from a piece for a week or two and play other stuff, it’s better when I come back.
Anon says
I took a page from the “I love to watch you play” article that made the rounds a few years ago to get my now 9 year old to play violin most days (TL;DR – the most successful college athletes loved it when their parents told them how much they loved seeing their kids play their sport, and hated getting “coached” by their parents post game). I tell my son I get tremendous joy from hearing him play his music, and I will especially hone in on a particular song (as in – “oh, that new song is so beautiful, will you please play it for me? I’d really love to hear some violin music right now!”). Once the violin gets out, he’ll play the song I requested, then move onto other pieces. I’ve done this since he was 5, and he probably played 3 or 4 times a week when he was 6. I don’t think the word “practice” has ever come out of my mouth, and it really does make a difference.
He is also too fried to play after school, but we have him play for the whole house in the last 10 to 15 minutes before we all get the bus. Usually my daughter will sing along with him while she is doing her hair, which I love, and also, he has ADHD, and we’ve both noticed that it’s a great way to set and calm his brain/body before school. It has become part of his routine, and he now reaches for it voluntarily.
anonM says
I know there was some discussion yesterday on this, but asking for more detail. What’s everyone’s plan for teacher gifts – daycare main teacher v floaters? Elementary school – main teacher v “specials”? What about aftercare/ycare? Dollar amounts that are standard? (I’m midwest, LCOL). This is the first time I’ve had elementary school with all the specials, ycare, etc. I also already bought from the elementary teacher’s class wish list, so I’m just looking for something for her.
Anonymous says
Elem school:
Class gift for the teacher. I’m the room mom and I don’t do anything for the specials (or custodians or office staff etc), that’s really nice but beyond my abilities. The PTO does a lot for the full staff (luncheons, giftcards, etc) so I just donate to those and assume everyone feels taken care of. Our classroom has 2 other adults in it that are technically 1:! assigned to specific students but I am getting them token gifts.
This year it’ll be a ~$100 gift to teacher, $~20 to each of the aids/assistants. My daughter helped me pick the aid gifts as she has gotten to know them a little bit. One guy lives near a fancy donut shop that was discussed in class but he’s never been, so he’s getting a GC there. The other lives in town and doesn’t have a car and walks everywhere so I got her a GC to somewhere within walking distance of her house.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Our room parents handle the year-end gift for the teacher and any aides. Nothing extra for specials teacher, but our PTO also does a lot for staff. I have my kid make a hand-written card for the teacher and aides as well.
For daycare, we’re gonna give the same amount to the two main teachers in the room. Probably $80-100 each.
Anon says
I’m the OP from yesterday with no room mom and am also LCOL Midwest. I think after the discussion and talking to a couple local friends with older kids, I’m going to give a $25 Target card and a handmade note from kiddo to the classroom teacher and nothing to the specials teachers. Giving to the specials teachers seems kind of complicated logistically and doesn’t appear to be expected in our area. As someone said above, there are PTO fundraisers I contribute to that support appreciation events for all staff.
I didn’t even think about aftercare, but that’s a good point. There are about a dozen college kids who work there, so maybe I’ll get a bunch of $5 Starbucks gift cards?
OOO says
Midwest LCOL here. For daycare staff I give $80 to the teachers, $60 to lead aides and $40 to floaters. I give cold hard cash in an envelope with a heartfelt note. The total is usually around $300, which is not insignificant for me but I adore our daycare staff.
Anon says
I really like how both my daycare and elementary school do December teacher gifts, so I wanted to share if this makes it easier for you (if not this year, you can pitch it for next year):
Daycare (it’s big – 150+kids): Each family pays $325, This covers $600 for teachers gifts for teachers (including floaters) and $300/$225 for admin staff in December as well as monthly thank you breakfasts, and life event gifts (birthdays, births, retirement), and I think pays for some of PowerTots. We do something extra teacher appreciation week. I love this, it’s easy, and is fair for teachers (preschool classes have 18+ kids, but infants are often only 8 and this helps balance that).
Elementary: a collection of $10 gift cards (send in as many as you can afford to the front office, or pay PTA website directly and they buy things), that the PTA pools and distributes across all school staff (teachers, specials, I think even cafeteria and janitorial). I love this. I think it’s equitable for school staff and kind to parents (we have a large income disparity at the school).
Anonymous says
Holy cow. There is no way I could have afforded $325 for teacher gifts when my kid was in day care and I had an entry-level salary and student loans. I didn’t even spend that much on gifts for my own child or spouse.
Anon says
Yeah that is nuts to me. I can’t even imagine the parent reaction to this kind of request. I think even people who can afford to give that much would be offended at that being the suggested amount.
Anon says
As a counterpoint, I think it’s not a great idea to ask families for a specific amount, and if you do ask for a set amount, that’s outrageously high to me (although I’m in a LCOL area). I would think if you suggest an amount to families it would be $50 or $100 at most and then those who want to give more can. Many families can’t afford $300+, but it’s a horrible feeling to let down beloved teachers so I think it puts people in a really awkward spot.
Our daycare did an anonymous cash collection, which I appreciated because it was easy and no pressure. We gave $200 which I think was about average. I’m sure some gave much more, but people who could only give $50 didn’t feel terrible about themselves.
anon says
Our daycare did something similar. It wasn’t truly anonymous, but the parents doing the collection were busy and discreet, so basically anonymous and the gift was presented as from everyone. We had a big diversity of family incomes, so it was nice that everyone could be generous according to what made sense for them. It was a really big range of contributions.
I think I spent more on the teacher gift fund than I spent on gifts to everyone else in my life, collectively.
Spirograph says
Same, in daycare years, that was definitely the lion’s share of my gifting budget.
Anon says
Yeah, I love that the class parents in my elementary school organize group gifts, but some of them persist in sending out notes that “everyone should donate $50!” and it’s very tone-deaf to the makeup of our public school.
Spirograph says
wow! We used to give pretty generous holiday and end-of-year gifts to our daycare teachers, but it was 100% optional… daycare is expensive! Is that $325 per family or per kid? I had 3 kids in daycare one year, and an extra $1000 lump sum on top of tuition would have given me a lot of pause.
I like the $10 gift card idea from your PTA. We also live in a district with a big income disparity, so like I mentioned yesterday, we just do homemade cookies & other treats, because the kids and I like to bake and I don’t want to be conspicuous. We get all the specials teachers + front office staff in addition to our kids’ classroom teachers and aides, and the “bonus staff” associated with each classroom to make sure the cafeteria & janitorial workers get some love too.
Anon says
It’s per family, and it’s managed by the parents association so who participates or doesn’t isn’t shared (it’s not mandatory, but participation is high). It comes out to about the cost of a week of daycare for 1 preschooler (which always seems low when I compare to nanny bonuses). It’s a daycare connected to work and is lower than market rate because of the free rent it gets, so parents know they have some extra space in their budget. It’s a pretty big portion of my gift budget for sure, but it’s also only twice as much as I gift my monthly cleaners, and my daycare teachers do much more for me.
Anon says
What a great way to think of it. I love your framing here.
Anon says
I give the head and assistant teachers $100 target gift cards and the floaters $50 target gift cards.
Anon says
Same, except cash. Two head teachers and four floaters. This is for daycare/preschool. I give it to them at Thanksgiving.
Anon says
HCOL area, public school, and I give $25 to the classroom teachers, $10 to the specials and other important teachers (g&t, band), and $15-20 to the bus driver, all in gift cards. It comes to like $150 for two kids, which is absolutely worth it to me to make sure our teachers feel appreciated. Our room parents don’t do group collections.
Anon says
This is more in line what I am doing. HCOL/VHCOL, and I’m planning on giving $20 Target gift cards to the 3 teachers in my child’s daycare class and nothing for the rest of the staff (I don’t interact directly with any of them except the director). My husband already was slightly shocked when I suggested doing that, and now I feel cheap!
HSAL says
Looking for active toys to use indoors/on the porch this winter. Kids are 8 and 5, all right around 4 feet. We currently have a small trampoline and a 4-5 feet slide. The internet is giving me ads for Avenlur – has anyone tried those sets? I’m willing to give up some space for something the kids will use. The backyard has a small swingset and a climbing dome, just looking for ways to help them move their bodies inside more. Or is this where I need to buy DDR for our switch?
Anon says
I’ve had my eye on Stair Slide! Debating whether to finally get a few pieces…
DLC says
We got a Swedish climbing ladder, from suggestions here. We’ve had it for two years now, and it’s been great for our kids (now 4-11). Also at that age, a doorway chin up bar might also be fun.
Anon says
I love DDR!! I say do it.
Anonymous says
I also have an 8 year old and 5 year old and am getting those same ads. It all looks so great but also I think my 8 year old is already almost too tall for most of it (54”). Things we like for indoor play – depending on how big your porch is – we have a set of dip bars that get a lot of use particularly for 5 year old (8 year old is too tall to hang upside down but does use them for dips), and a big beanbag they can use to jump onto from a trampoline or bosu ball. We also use that as a pad for handstand practice. But…. I really want to find a way to install monkey bars !
Anonymous says
I have noticed a fair number of questions lately about active indoor play. Am I the only one who discourages this? I find that if they are running around and yelling indoors it’s impossible to calm them down. I prefer to keep a strict division between calm indoor spaces and wild outdoor spaces. If we had a basement I might allow rambunctiousness down there, but I can’t abide it in the main spaces of our small house. Is this just me?
Anon says
I like your idea in theory. But in practice it falls apart for me for these reasons:
1) my youngest is 2, and if he’s outside, I have to be outside. I don’t always want to, or can’t, be outside, and he’s very active with energy all day long
2) I have three boys. Do you have many boys? They feed off each other and are balls of energy. They can be calm, and focus on play, and we have tons of that, too. But they are so naturally LOUD and boisterous and sometimes get hyped up with each other when it’s pitch black and 20 degrees and we are inside.
Instead of spending my life fighting the natural inclination of my kids, I try to set parameters that can work for all of us. They can’t kick soccer balls in the house, or run through the kitchen while we’re cooking, but if they want to run and slide on their stomaches across the front hall, then okay. It’s their house, too.
But I hear there do exist children who are naturally more mild and go-with-the-flow…I think temperament of everyone in the family plays a big role.
Anonymous says
Ha, I only have quiet girls who are intense in other ways. But I do have one wild 5-year-old nephew and I absolutely cannot stand being around him when he’s running around indoors screaming, so I always wondered why his parents allowed it. Maybe they have no choice.
Anonymous says
They’re children not machines.
Anon says
Oh this and some of your other comments read as so judgy. Yuck. I personally love the joyful noise and activity of happy, busy kids. Your nephew’s parents may not be bothered by the noise, or *gasp* they might even enjoy it. I have 3 kids, and if they get too loud or rambunctious, sure I’ll ask them to move to another part of the house or outside. But, generally, we are big, happy, loud family that likes being around each other. My kids genuinely get along, and I guess I feel lucky that I’m not so rigid that I can’t enjoy them and all their glorious cacophonies now while they are home, happy, and able/want to fool around with each other and be near me.
Boston Legal Eagle says
It’s very kid temperament dependent. On average, boys tend to be more active and louder than girls, although my older kid is one who cannot be told to “just play quietly,” while my younger one definitely can just sit still and do crafts for an hour + (both boys).
If we want to spend any time inside, then there will be noise and running around, especially after school at night. It’s annoying to me but it is what it is.
Anonymous says
Ew. So judgy. I have a girl and a boy and I am really finding that women who just have girls can be incredibly judgmental about little boys. Do you have friends in real life or interact with any other children? I have a boy and a girl and it’s HARD when it’s dark outside to not let them get energy out. They can’t just “calm down”. They’re little! Little boys need to move for HOURS a day outside every day and sometimes it’s not possible (freezing rain). We do try to differentiate between indoor voice/outdoor voice but we absolutely allow rough-housing in our house. No balls inside. And my son functions just fine at preschool and in social settings.
Anon says
I have two boys. I remember telling someone this and her response was like “OMG I COULD NEVER HAVE TWO BOYS!” (she had two girls at the time, same age as my boys). I was caught off-guard, like who talks like this anymore except like, out-of-touch boomers?
To me, it is worse in some ways than the “are you going to try for a girl?”
She’s now pregnant with a 3rd kid and is having a….boy. Don’t worry I very politely remined her of her comment…
I also have found some women who are mothers of girls to be a bit judgmental of boys. It’s really odd.
Anon says
I agree it’s unnecessarily judgy, but I also don’t like how quickly people default to gender stereotypes. I know many girls who can’t sit still at all, and similar age boys who can sit quietly and read or color for hours. To me 1) little kids generally just have a lot of energy and need for active play, I think kids who can sit quietly for long stretches of time before age 5 or 6 are very much in the minority, and 2) people are all just different and some kids are going to need way more activity than others. I don’t know why it is has to be a boys vs girls thing.
Anonymous says
Yes I have a lot of friends with 3 boys and in conversation if the girl thing comes up I try to frame it as “they are such good friends!” And “Any child is a blessing!” I’ve seen people say to their face (before they know they have 3 boys) “I would die if I had 3 boys”. It’s just awful.
Anonymous says
Just as all kids are different, all parents are different! I really, truly cannot handle noise and chaos indoors. I also don’t like kids invading my personal space and touching me all the time. On the other hand, I love reading with kids and having real conversations with them and seeing the world through their eyes. Is it really that terrible for a parent to try and create a household environment that works for everyone? Noisy kids can do their thing outdoors; parents and kids can have serenity indoors.
Anonymous says
I don’t think you’re being realistic though. So what do you do, kick your nephew outside instead of trying to play his way which is active play? It’s just narrow minded. I think having serenity with multiple kids around is a pipe dream. I visit with family to visit with all the family, not just the adults. We have 8 kids under 10 on my side and 5 on my husbands. It’s chaotic but that’s kids. I’m introverted and love quiet too! But they’re children.
Anon says
Anon @ 2:51, if you are the OP, then no, it is definitely not terrible to know your limits and want to cultivate a quiet indoor space where kids don’t touch you. That’s just fine if it works for your family. This DOES read as terrible though “I absolutely cannot stand being around him when he’s running around indoors screaming, so I always wondered why his parents allowed it. Maybe they have no choice.” It assumes that the only reason a kid would run inside or raise his voice is if the parents literally cannot control him. It’s not like he’s smoking cigarettes and they can’t get him to quit!!!! He’s 5! Some parents don’t mind kid noise!! You need to put the phrase “Good for them, not for me” on repeat, and I’m sorry, but you aren’t invited to our holiday open house, which is a ton of fun but very loud :)
To the gender stereotypes, I have 8 year old b/g twins, and my girl twin is twice as loud and rambunctious as her brother, who has always loved to quietly read or play by himself. The “wild boy” comments drive me crazy and are definitely not our reality (and I have a good friend who has 3 girls — one of whom is possibly the loudest child I’ve ever met — and she always says this. I push back every time, but I swear she is willfully blind to her own lived experience whenever she makes these comments).
Anon says
Anon @ 2:51, if you are the OP, then no, it is definitely not terrible to know your limits and want to cultivate a quiet indoor space where kids don’t touch you. That’s just fine if it works for your family. This DOES read as terrible though “I absolutely cannot stand being around him when he’s running around indoors screaming, so I always wondered why his parents allowed it. Maybe they have no choice.” It assumes that the only reason a kid would run inside or raise his voice is if the parents literally cannot control him. It’s not like he’s smoking cigare t t es and they can’t get him to quit!!!! He’s 5! Some parents don’t mind kid noise!! You need to put the phrase “Good for them, not for me” on repeat, and I’m sorry, but you aren’t invited to our holiday open house, which is a ton of fun but very loud :)
To the gender stereotypes, I have 8 year old b/g twins, and my girl twin is twice as loud and rambunctious as her brother, who has always loved to quietly read or play by himself. The “wild boy” comments drive me crazy and are definitely not our reality (and I have a good friend who has 3 girls — one of whom is possibly the loudest child I’ve ever met — and she always says this. I push back every time, but I swear she is willfully blind to her own lived experience whenever she makes these comments).
Anon. says
Yes, ugh to the gender roles. I have a boy and a girl. My daughter is far, far more rambunctious than my son. My son is much more cautious and risk averse generally. My daughter is constantly jumping off the things, tackling the things, and being extremely physical. They’re both equally loud.
Anonymous says
So, and I think this goes for kids and not just boys, but my older son (third grade) has trouble sleeping unless he gets so many hours of activity. The one time he slept really well recently was when he ran a 5k, then walked 3.5 miles , then shot hoops for a while. We are actively trying to get as much physical activity as possible for him so he can sleep. That isn’t accomplished by a trip to the park- it needs to also happen after the sun goes down or while it’s pouring rain. He often just plays pretend football by himself in the basement for an hour and I can’t imagine not allowing that since we have space.
Anon says
I think there’s a big difference between the environment you want to cultivate for your own family, and what you expect from guests. I’m also seriously introverted but I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect total peace and quiet when you have visiting extended family kids. Of course there are certain behaviors that are unacceptable from anyone, like hitting, but I would have a lot more tolerance for a 5 year old nephew running around my house being loud than if my own kids were doing it. The nephew goes home to his own house after a short time – my own kids don’t.
Anon says
Things like trampolines, slides, gymnastics bars, Pikler triangles, etc. aren’t really synonymous with “running around.” I wouldn’t let kids play tag in my house but we had some indoor active play equipment during Covid and it didn’t create an unduly amount of chaos.
That said, post-Covid I prefer to get out of the house for active play as much as possible. We spend a significant to us amount of money going to trampoline parks, indoor playplaces, the pool, children’s museum, MyGym, etc., rather than buying a lot of play equipment for our house.
Anon says
That’s a good point (I’m 3 boys, above)…and we do not have significant amounts of money for activities like that. I would love to sign my boys up for Ninja class this winter, but it’s like $400 each (VHCOL area) and we can’t swing it. They’ll do rec basketball for an hour a week. We do try to be outside in our yard a lot and go to parks and things like that, but sometimes that doesn’t fit with the family schedule, or it’s dark, and the energy has to go someplace.
I don’t mean to imply my house is chaos all the time. I’m an introvert and noise and commotion gets to me. But it is chaos *sometimes* and it’s better for us to accept and channel that in some way than try to always shut it down.
Anon says
Yeah I have an only child (girl but pretty high energy and very extroverted) and these indoor playplaces are usually social activities (we often meet up with friends, but even when we go alone she typically finds a kid to play with) so that’s a big part of why we spend so much time and money out of the house. If she had a sibling I can see investing in more stuff at home, but since she much prefers to be with other kids it doesn’t make sense.
GCA says
This question reminds me of my friend, whose three girls would actually sit at a picnic table at the park and do crafts while I desperately chased my kids around coaching them to get down off very top of the climbing frame. Our conversations would take place roughly two sentences at a time…
In any case, indoors active play is basically not preventable in my house. And I don’t think my kids (8yo boy, 5yo girl) are particularly wild. I think it’s largely temperament rather than parenting. And the answer is to create a yes space (basement/ kids’ rooms) and set parameters around what can be done indoors (stacking the sofa cushions on the floor and jumping onto them is fine, but no kicking balls, that knocks over the houseplants).
Spirograph says
Our house is 1.5 stories and the kids are allowed active play in the basement and upstairs (which is their giant shared bedroom). Main floor is supposed to be a toy-free, calm space, although when they were really little they could run between the front door to the kitchen door while grown-ups were sitting at the table. They’re getting too big to play rambunctiously indoors, now.
I have two boys and a girl who often matches their energy level. I send them outside when the weather & daylight are suitable, but sometimes it’s gross out. Unless they’re all on screens, the best way to make *my* space calm is to give parameters on where they can be not-calm
Anon says
We live in a small apartment with no yard and no super-close access to green space/parks/playgrounds (all are at leat 10 mins by car and 20 mins by bike). There won’t be enough space for fancy triangles and climbing ropes but there also isn’t anywhere else to go.
Anon says
Yeah, we usually just go outside unless there’s like a hurricane or it’s below 20F. If you have the right clothing, you can go outside in most weather.
Anonymous says
Yeah sure. Once it is dark the rats come out at city playgrounds so we do indoor play
Anon says
“Can” and “want” are different though, and it’s ok to not enjoy being outside in cold weather.
I don’t enjoy being outdoors when the temp is in the 30s or 40s with a lot of wind. I would go if my kids really wanted to, but it’s not something I’m ever going to encourage except for the occasional day of sledding in the winter. We do a lot of active stuff indoors and it suits them and me just fine.
Anon says
Oh, I didn’t mean to imply that there was something wrong with not wanting to go outside. I was replying that this is what I do, since someone asked.
Spirograph says
+1 DC winters tend to be cold and rainy these days. Cold, fine. Cold and snowy (rare), fine. Cold and rainy… yuck. I’ll take below 20 over 40s and rainy any day.
Spirograph says
+1 to the anon at 2:40, that is!
Anonymous says
Well, we have a large basement combo playroom/guest room, two extremely active boys, and a very rainy climate, so we definitely encourage active play in the basement (yes we also play outside in the rain but when it is dark at 4:20 pm there is a limit). We do not allow rambunctious play in the main living area (open concept living/dining/kitchen).
Anon says
We just had our first parent teacher conference of kindergarten. It wasn’t great. She said our daughter is doing “fine” academically and socially (although she didn’t have anything positive to say) but she said she’s very emotional and gets upset easily and sometimes cries at school. We knew our daughter was spirited/sensitive/emotionally intense but we have seen a lot of progress in the last few months in terms of her ability to control her emotions. I actually thought we were doing well because she no longer has true meltdowns at home, although she still gets tearful about something very trivial maybe once or twice a week. I feel like we should be doing something about the teacher’s comments, but I’m not sure what since things are generally going well at home. The whole conference just kind of gave me the feeling that the teacher doesn’t like my kid, which I know isn’t the end of the world but it wasn’t a great feeling.
Anon says
Oh, I’m so sorry. This is really tough. I had a preK teacher who loved to tell me that my son was just “manipulating” me with some of the concerns we raised with the school. He was later diagnosed with OCD, and a much kinder teacher helped steer us on the right path rather than just wanting to blame both of us for not being stricter. Yipe. She definitely did not like him, and I hated that for both of us. If it helps, he is now 10 and doesn’t even remember her name. As big as it feels now, a teacher who doesn’t click with your kid will just a blip in her school radar. If you think your daughter is doing okay, just stay the course, and focus on connecting with her out of school on how well she is doing.
Also, I know this board takes a lot of issue with this, but after my son had a really hard year with a stern teacher who legit scared him at the beginning of the year, I met with the principal in the spring and talked through the type of teacher where he’d really thrive. He was placed with a super kind and warm teacher and he made a ton of progress the next year.
anon says
For what it’s worth, I come out of parent teacher conferences with that exact same feeling at least 50% of the time (two kids in upper elementary). And my kids are fine I think — not perfect and definitely on the louder side, but they get good grades, have good friends, do well in the outside-of-school contexts where I can watch them, and have never gotten in trouble for anything — and yet their teachers often seem vaguely grumpy about them. It’s a little weird and discouraging! Maybe it’s just hard to do 25 parent-teacher conferences in a row? Maybe the post-covid teaching years have been hard on everyone? For what it’s worth, your kid sounds like a very, very normal kindergartner, who is making great progress!
Anon says
Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better!
Anonymous says
So. I have a kindergarten student and my spouse teaches at the same school so sometimes observes the kindergarteners or hears about them from other teachers. Reportedly in a recent music class 3/15 kinds cried. He sees kindergarteners crying at recess basically daily. Our own kid who is overall doing great cries sometimes. So my question I guess is whether the teacher is alerting you to this just so you know it’s happening, or because it’s a Problem? Because some amount of being emotional and crying T school is observationally 100 percent normal. Then there are a few kids who are maybe just a little behind in emotional regulation (crying alllll the time, etc) and might need additional support. If that’s the case (and my older child was definitely a little behind on social/emotional skills, with a lot of meltdowns at school in early grades) I’d be asking what the school’s support plan is and how you can support that at home, including if something like play therapy might be needed.
Anon says
Yeah, I would have thought crying at school is not super unusual at this age either. The teacher described two incidents when she got upset and cried, so that’s part of why I was kind of confused. It definitely doesn’t sound like it’s happening on a super regular basis.
Anonymous says
FWIW, my husband is a teacher and all but refuses to attend parent teacher conferences. His perspective is skewed because he teaches high school–and 11th and 12th graders at that–and he has too many students to know any of them very well. But his general perspective is the teacher isn’t going to tell us anything useful as they don’t have time to get to know our kid that well. He’s half joking, but only half.
Your child sounds perfectly normal, and I would try not to worry and see what happens at the next conference. My 6th grader is very sensitive and I’m pretty sure he still cries sometimes at school.
Paging waffles says
Waffles, how are things with your daughter?
Waffles says
Thank you for asking.
My daughter got off the school bus the day after I contacted the school, and told me that she had a great day. She said the guidance counselor spoke with each of the girls separately that morning, and my daughter said the other girl is being nicer to her now.
I’m not sure what the school said to her class, but the other girls have been letting her sit with them at lunch and inviting her to play tag with them during recess. It’s a small school, so if the bullying continued, it would be hard to hide now that administration is aware.
I was worried about revenge from the bully for getting the school involved, but so far it seems like they are just young enough to be educated about treating human beings with basic respect, and that maybe they will give my kid a fair shot.
I read up on bullying, and based on this experience and my own principles, I think contacting the school can be a good idea in many circumstances.
Hope you and your families enjoy a happy weekend.
Anonymous says
I’m glad for such a positive update!
Anonymous says
Oh I’m so happy! The best of me wants to assume the kids are just being dumb and clueless and needed their behavior pointed out and corrected.
I overheard my daughter’s friends once being just absolutely awful. There was some girl at school who is annoying and they didn’t want to play with, so they were talking about how they were planning to all run away whenever she came over. I just stopped them, said “that will make her chase you, and she won’t understand. You need to tell her why you don’t want to play with her.” Apparently the next day they were like “we don’t like playing with you when you boss us around but if you want to come play on the swings with us that’s fine!” And the issue was over.
But their default reaction was so bad!!