I usually don’t think of Lands’ End for workwear, but maybe I should.
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Sales of Note…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Eloquii – 60% off all tops
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
- Zappos – 28,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off kids’ camp styles; extra 50% off select sale
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off summer pajamas; up to 50% off all baby styles (semi-annual baby event!)
- Carter’s – Summer deals from $5; up to 60% off swim
- Old Navy – 30% off your order; kid/toddler/baby tees $4
- Target – Kids’ swim from $8; summer accessories from $10
Anon says
My husband’s sister is pregnant! We’re SO excited to have a niece or nephew. Any recent baby gear favorites? I have kids, but they’re in elementary school.
Also does anyone have tips on fostering a cousin connection when there’s a large age gap? My SIL’s kid(s) will be my kids’ only biological cousins, but there’s an 8+ year age difference. Is it really naive to think they could have a close relationship as adults?
Cb says
My son’s cousins were 14, 17, 19, and 21 when he was born, and he thinks they are entertaining!
His second cousins once removed were 5 and 7 when he was born, and now we go on holiday together and he thinks it’s so cool that he is one of the big kids (they are a foster family so have babies/toddlers around). I’m hoping that they’ll remain close.
Their mom and my husband met as kids, and reconnected when they were living in the same town in their 20s when E wandered into the library and saw my husband’s badge “Oh, that’s my maiden name… are we related?” Now, they are closer to each other than their respective siblings.
OP says
Whoa that’s such a cool story! How nice they have that relationship.
Anon says
Guava lotus travel crib with the bassinet conversion kit. We used the bassinet downstairs and I preferred it over our actual crib.
The Elms says
Agree this has been great! Much better than a traditional pack and play because its easier to travel with and because it lasts longer.
Anonymous says
As the parent of the older cousins, I think you are in the best position to encourage the relationship. My daughter’s cousins are all much older, and the biggest factor determining the closeness of the relationship seems to be proximity. The more time they spend together, the closer the relationship. 8 years is actually a good gap because they are far enough apart for the older ones to enjoy having the younger one look up to them.
Spirograph says
Agreed that proximity is key. I’m not close to any of my cousins; my family is spread out all over the US and I saw any of my cousins *at most* once a year for a couple days. I’m 10+ years older than the cousins on my mom’s side, and we just never clicked. I liked playing with them the same way I liked being a summer camp counselor, but it didn’t turn into a close relationship as adults. They’re friendly acquaintances: we send cards and gifts for weddings and babies, make non-heroic efforts to visit if we’re in the area, and are happy to see each other at family events. The cousins on my dad’s side are close to my age, but we saw them even less-frequently and the relationship ended up the same.
My kids didn’t even meet their cousins until a couple years ago due to distance (opposite coasts) and then covid — my niece is about to graduate from HS, and nephew is a couple years older than my oldest. They’ve now moved within a day’s drive, so we’ve spent a week with them the last few summers and my kids think they are soooooo cool. The boys are close enough in age to all play together, and my niece is a very mother-hen sort who was happy to have my daughter following her around with stars in her eyes. They’re likely to be my kids’ only cousins, so we’d like to foster the relationship… but I’m also realistic. If they end up like me and my cousins, that’s also OK.
OP says
Yeah I figured that geographic proximity might be a bigger factor. Unfortunately we’re not physically close and have no ability to change that (both families have adults with academic jobs and no say about where we live) but I think we do a decent job with visiting. We currently see them approximately twice a year and have done a few vacations together, and my kids really adore their aunt. I expect we’ll do a disproportionate share of the visits once the baby is here, since we’re more financially secure and it’s much easier to travel with older kids. I don’t have a close relationship with any of my cousins, so I’m aware that’s a possibility and not the end of the world.
anon says
+1 to proximity – I have 20+ cousins scattered across the US and a foreign country, and I’m not close to any of them as an adult. I will say it helps a lot if the parents make an effort to foster closeness and lots of trips (which my dad never did, and it was his siblings who lived relatively close), so I think that can make a difference.
octagon says
Our baby MVP was the Baby Bjorn bouncer, and it’s our go-to gift for first babies now. Congrats on your pending new family member!
NYCer says
+1.
AwayEmily says
SlumberPod! Fairly recent innovation and a total game-changer for travel.
TheElms says
Yes this is excellent if they will be traveling. So much easier than worrying about black out blinds etc.
Anon says
so i had that age gap with a cousin on my mom’s side, like after my sister and I, she was the oldest cousin and we were close growing up until our parents had a falling out and we didn’t really see each other much. i loved being the big cousin and helping watch her, doing fun things, she would sleepover in my room once she was a bit older, etc. on the flip side, my mom as an adult was fairly close with her cousin who is 9+ years younger than her. Not as big of an age gap, but my niece is 4 years younger than my girls and my sister and we don’t live anywhere near my niece, but my kids are obsessed with her – it’s adorable, whereas her local cousins on the other side of the family (my BIL’s sister’s kids) apparently have little interest in her.
Runner says
One of my cousin’s that I am closest too is 8 (or maybe 9) years younger than me. My mom made a huge effort to have all the cousins in proximity to each other. I traveled with my cousin when I was done with grad school and she was done with college, and I’m going to visit her this weekend! It can be done! It’s also one of the main reasons I work so hard to have my kids visit their cousins as often as we can swing it.
anonM says
Yay!
Gear — SwaddleMe Pod – Newborn Size. (two-way zip up swaddle, so you can just unzip from the bottom, change baby with them still partially swaddled, and zip back down).
Gap – this is still awesome. My youngest cousin and I have a 12-ish year age gap, and we are very close. She had a big gap with her siblings too, so she was really this baby of the family we all doted on. It’s a different relationship than a 2-year gap with cousins, but I feel like a big sis/aunt almost to her, and she now gets to be cool big cousin to my kiddos, which is just heartwarming. It’s a great way for your kids to learn to help and be considerate of younger humans. I think if you share your excitement and have them do things like help pick out gifts, practice “helping” with their dolls, etc., it can be really positive.
OP says
Thanks! The kids are super excited. Both talk constantly about wanting a baby sibling and a third kid is definitely not happening (DH is snipped) so hopefully this will scratch that itch!
Anonymous says
My cousins run the gamut age-wise, but I am the youngest on my mom’s side, and the second youngest on my dad’s side (which is a VERY large family). Whether I’m close to them as an adult mostly has to do with our personalities and how much we have in common. But I’m very close to some who are 10+ years older than me. There’s definitely hope!
Anonymous says
Age gaps with cousins are totally fine. Sometimes I think a gap can actually be a good thing, as it eliminates some of the competitive dynamics that can emerge. A bunch of my cousins are about 10 years younger than me, and one family of boys (more blue-collar) doesn’t particularly like the other family of boys (high-achieving Boy Scout types). It makes me sad that they avoid extended family gatherings because of the weird dynamics. As others have said, it’s really about the time that you put in, at least in the short-term. Long-term, as I’ve seen in my family, it really depends on how much the cousins actually have in common.
Anonymous says
My husband and I used to divide pick up and drop off from daycare 50/50, but he’s been unemployed for a few months now so he does both. I did pick up randomly one day last week and noticed that there were all kinds of sign-up sheets and notes about teacher appreciation, class parties, etc. that we didn’t get by email/home in the backpack. Since I’ve basically ceded daycare responsibilities to DH, I guess these are his choice to ignore? It does also seem weird that the school doesn’t tell us anything except through sheets of paper taped to the classroom door, since pick up and drop off can be hectic. I’m inclined to shrug and move on, what do you all think?
TheElms says
In my family this wouldn’t be ok, mostly because my husband wouldn’t read them and so he wouldn’t exercise any judgment about whether they were things that could reasonably be ignored. I’m not sure what the right solution is but typically for stuff like this when I can’t deal I take a picture of the note and either text it to my husband to see if we need to do anything or read it later. Would that work for you?
Anon says
Yes, shrug and move on, with the very narrow exception of class events where parents are present *IF* your child would notice your absence. I absolutely hated that my daycare planned these events (if I could be at the classroom at 10AM on a Wednesday, then I wouldn’t be sending my kid to your daycare…), but after a certain age, the kids notice if all the other parents are there, and theirs are not. I have been on both sides of this – consoled a few bummed kids who’s parents can’t be there and had a kid at the party solo. Best option if you can’t attend is to be VERY upfront with your kid about it “Other parents will be in the classroom today, but I will not be there.” and then ask either the teachers or (ideally) another parent to specifically include your kid. I try to pay it forward and include the kids who don’t have a parent present, but it’s best if you proactively do this. Also, if your husband is not working, he should be able to be present, and should be if your kiddo is over the age of 2!
Anonymous says
If he’s doing 100% of pick-ups and drop-offs he’s the one who will look bad if your family doesn’t participate, so let him ignore!
Anon says
Nah they hold it against mom no matter what. We missed a theme day when I was out of town and teachers mentioned it to me as soon as I got back. 🙄
AwayEmily says
These answers make me realize our daycare is possibly unusual. I’ve had 3 kids there for five years and have never once been asked to do any teacher appreciation thing, party, event, or literally anything at all except our twice-yearly teacher conference. No costumes, theme days, or holiday celebrations either. Makes me think that when our last kid finally leaves we should write a heartfelt note of thanks to the director.
(caveat that while there is not a formal teacher appreciation “event,” all the parents I know do yearly cards-with-cash as a thank you to the teachers)
Anon says
Yeah this is unusual I think.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Ours was nice immediately after Covid for about a year where there were no theme anything days or breakfasts/get togethers, etc. Recently, they send out calendars with theme days and do random stuff. I really don’t think anyone holds it against parents whose kids don’t participate, but I try to at least put it on our calendars.
Anon says
I could do without theme days for sure, but I really missed the class get-togethers when all that stuff was canceled by Covid (our daycare didn’t return to normal until fall 2022). Obviously babies aren’t aware, but kids over the age of 2 or so get a kick out of it and it’s a nice way to meet classmates and parents. I haven’t made BFFs with any other parents or anything, but it’s nice to be able to put a face with a name as kids get older and talk about their classmates more. Maybe it’s because I only have one kid and my daughter was 4.5 and in her final pre-K year before the events resumed post-Covid, but I’ve really savoured these kind of events this past year. We have an end of year class celebration next week and I’m really excited!
AwayEmily says
I agree! There’s a big grassy hill outside the daycare where kids tend to congregate at pickup and the parents tend to chat, but it would actually be kind of nice to get more opportunities to meet other parents.
Anon says
This wouldn’t be ok with me. I wouldn’t expect my husband to do these optional things if he didn’t want to, but I’d expect him to communicate them to me so I could. Caveat: unlike a lot of moms here I genuinely enjoy attending the class parties and have a work schedule that allows me to participate fairly easily. If you don’t care about this stuff, feel free to shrug and move on!
NYCer says
+1. We have a half day preschool that generally sends emails about parties, etc., so I have not run into this situation, but if I were in OP’s situation I would be really annoyed. I also really enjoy going to my daughter’s classroom or to school events when my schedule permits, and I would be sad if my spouse just failed to even mention it.
I think the suggestion someone else above made about taking a picture of the notices and texting them to you is a good idea.
anon says
I would be annoyed, too.
Anonymous says
I’m definitely team shrug and move on, but since I know my husband, I would also ask whether he had noticed the sign up sheets. I’d be willing bet he hadn’t. But he also wouldn’t want to participate so I guess it doesn’t matter either way in my situation. From a mom guilt standpoint: try not to let this take up brain space.
Anon says
Does anyone know which stores in the US might sell Twin XL beds? We’re upgrading to a big kid bed but all the nicer beds seems to only come in twin size. I’ll probably end up getting a basic frame and a twin headboard, which is fine, but wondering if there are any stores I should check.
Anon says
I have been looking for this same unicorn!! I think a couple of Room & Board styles come in XL Twin.
Anon says
Tuft & Needle has one frame/headboard, but that’s all I’ve found so far.
Anon says
Crosspost. Warning: medical detail.
I’m 34 and in the last year, I’ve noticed a few menstrual cycles where my period seems to start on schedule (very light), but then essentially stop for about two days before restarting with a more normal flow. I’m not sure how to count the first day, which matters now that I’m trying to get pregnant. I used to be super, super regular and the testing I’ve had done doesn’t reveal any issues, although I’m getting a second opinion re: PCOS since I do have ovarian cysts and the last NP I saw gave me wholly inaccurate information about it – not sure I can trust her take on things. Anyway, if any of you have experienced this, what’s the first day of your period – the super light spotting day at the very beginning, or the “real” period a day or two later that’s a normal flow? I want to make sure I don’t miss the window for ovulation just because I miscount. I’ll also consider ovulation sticks – I know it’s not a science. TIA!
Anon2 says
Day 1 is the first full day of normal flow. Did you look into your progesterone levels? Sometimes spotting at the end of each cycle indicates low progesterone, and you’ll want at least 12 days from ovulation to your period (the “luteal phase” – anything shorter could make implantation difficult). If you are really wanting to pinpoint ovulation I’d definitely get some cheap LH sticks; I like the Easy@Home brand.
(I use FAM/NFP and have tracked every cycle in detail for about 8 years now. It is fascinating how much health information you can glean!)
Anonymous says
Hmm I have 2 days of spotting before my first day of “full bleed” which is where I start counting. I’d do clear blue easy ovulation kit, we tried for 7 months and then used that and got pregnant.
AwayEmily says
If you can afford it I would go straight to the ClearBlue. I used the “advanced digital” and found it super, super helpful (even more than the sticks, even tho they’re based on the same technology).
gift idea says
-crosspost-
Hi hive! I need a mother’s day gift idea. My husband and I have been trying to figure one out for his mom and I thought I’d ask here, since you all have the best ideas. My MIL is taking my daughter camping with her girl scout troop and I was hoping to get some gear or something as her gift. MIL is super excited, loves to camp and loves the girl scouts. Matching shirts? Thank you for your help!
Cb says
Oh I’d do a cool girl water bottle or flask. And does she have a Kelly kettle.
Mary Moo Cow says
Second on cool water bottle or the new Stanley canteen (it reminds me of my own GS canteen!) Matching shirts is very cute but know your audience (my girl and her grandma would love it, but others perhaps not so much.) A travel/camp french press or pour over if she’s a coffee or tea drinker. Or a gift card for a nice spa day or manicure for when she gets back – bonus if your daughter can go, too.
Anonymous says
If you go to an REI or camping store, they have a lot of fun gadget kinds of things that could be nice if you aren’t sure what she already has or needs. If she loves camping she may already have the basics, so I would look for luxury/nice to have items like a little coffee maker, super lightweight insulated mugs, nice hats, inflatable pillows, fancy lightweight camping chairs, tent lights, pie irons, etc. The Rise Up Singing songbook is great for singalongs (IF you already know the tunes), especially if she’s kind of an aging hippy – https://www.amazon.com/Rise-Up-Singing-Songbook-Anniversary/dp/1881322122
Anonymous says
Yikes–what is the use of a songbook without music?!? This is why I don’t go to contemporary services at church. I can’t sing along if you only give me the words.
Anonymous says
It has chords so you can strum along on a guitar, but if you don’t already know the tunes it isn’t very helpful. But it has a TON of songs in it; if it had full sheet music it would be too big. And most people don’t know how to read sheet music.
Anonymous says
For a Girl Scout camping trip, I would not get her any food preparation items with the following exception: if the troop is not providing coffee but she will have access to hot water, get her a drip cone coffee maker or fancy instant coffee. Ask me how I know.
anonM says
Camp slippers! My outdoorsey family members all have them, and the chaco ones seem popular.
Anonymous says
Oh, I want some of these! They would be of practical use for Girl Scout troop camping, whether in a cabin or in a tent.
anon says
Does she have a camping chair? One of the lightweight foldable ones that’s up off the ground and has armrests/cupholders are nice for any age, but often appreciated by those who want a backrest and not to be sitting on the ground. I’ve had good luck decorating them with paint, so your daughter could even personalize it with her handprints.
Anon318 says
LuminAid PackLite Max!! It is an extremely lightweight solar-charging lantern with connections to charge phones/other electronic devices. Super useful for camping, plus being very light and folding up small.
anon says
Can we talk Mother’s Day? What are you all doing? My sister decided to host a small gathering, so we’ll do that. And I really want to take a family bike ride on the trails, which one of my kids will love and the other will not be enthusiastic about. I’ve decided that low-key, but something slightly different than the norm, is what I want this year. And for my kids to not bicker, but that might be asking for too much.
Anonymous says
We are taking a day trip to see a musical in which I have zero interest; the tickets were my daughter’s birthday present. My husband only recently realized it’s going to be Mother’s Day and suggested that I visit a day spa on another day, but 1) the spa that ChatGRP suggested went out of business and 2) I don’t like spa treatments. Another typical Mother’s Day.
Anon says
I feel like Yelp would be a much more reliable source for finding a spa than ChatGPT. But sorry about the bummer Mother’s Day.
anonM says
What do you want to do? Can you schedule something you do like, and suggest DH have the kids make you a “coupon” for it?
Mary Moo Cow says
All I ever want for mother’s day is to take the family out for a fancy/good ice cream. For the second year in a row, my kids have a friends’ birthday party in the afternoon, but I’m skipping it and making DH take them this year. Maybe I’ll take a cue from you and make the kids go on a trail walk with me. We’ll have my MIL and FIL over for dinner.
For my own mom, we’ve developed a really nice book lending circle, so I bought her a book journal and a handmade bookmark. We saw her last weekend, so we had a mini celebration then. She’ll be with my sister on the actual day so we’ll try to facetime with them.
I’m just not feeling it this year. I did order myself some peonies to be delivered on Friday, and maybe that will perk me up.
Anonymous says
Who hosts a birthday party on Mother’s Day?
Anon says
We’re out of town, but my daughter was invited to a party on Mother’s Day. I thought it was odd too, but apparently people do it.
anon says
That’s … really odd. Around here, it’s not uncommon for graduation parties to be held on Mother’s Day / Mother’s Day weekend because schools apparently don’t give a sh!t about the holiday, but other than that, I’ve never heard of people purposely holding a party on that day!
Mary Moo Cow says
Thanks for backing me up. :) I gave the family a pass last year, but this year I’m kinda salty about it.
Anon says
I’m on vacation with my family in Europe. My birthday is very close to Mother’s Day and this is the last year we can easily travel in early May since my daughter starts K in the fall, so I went big :)
In a normal year, I like getting flowers and/or chocolates and doing something as a family like brunch out or a visit to the botanical garden. I’ve found that the key to a happy Mother’s Day is being direct with DH about what I want to do and receive. He’s a great person with many talents but picking out presents for me is not one of them.
Boston Legal Eagle says
My kids not fighting for a day would be a great gift, but next best thing is my husband giving me the day off so at least I don’t have to hear them. I’m planning on a pedicure and maybe sit and read in a bookstore, with lunch out.
And yes, my ideal Mother’s Day is a day away from the kids. No shame.
anon says
+1 this is what I told my husband I wanted as well. A day of peace and quiet and alone time, which I desperately need.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 to this! DH actually leaves on Sunday afternoon for a work trip, so on Sunday AM he’s going to his usual thing of taking the kids out of the house for diner breakfast + outing so I can have a few hours to myself (we do this weekly); I’ll probably go workout and read.
Saturday evening – family dinner out – I told DH that he and DS #1 needed to think through and pick a place; Sunday evening out to eat for South Indian food with kids, my mom, and sibling. I’m also scheduled to get dinner with an old friend (of 25+ years!) that I reconnected with on Friday night – so things are looking up. Fingers crossed no rain gets in the way!
busybee says
I’ll be solo parenting all day because my husband is working a double shift. Just a regular weekend day for us but we are ordering takeout and having an at-home date night after bedtime on Friday so that will be fun!
Spirograph says
I am playing Tears of the Kingdom :D
Anon says
Going to see the Book Club sequel with my mom!
New Here says
Brunch with mom friends that morning. I told my husband I’d like to spend the day reading or possibly working in the garden (weather depending) and then sushi takeout for dinner. My 3 year old and I have gotten in the habit of napping together on the weekends, so that’ll be in the cards as well. Low key.
Anon says
Watching my brothers three kids in addition to my toddler 😭 while they travel back from a wedding.
Anonymous says
Going to breakfast (not brunch) at a place I love that was closed for three years and just reopened. Then I’d like to do some of my projects at the house while listening to a podcast without my husband making faces or trying to talk to me while I have my headphones In. Then my son has a birthday party in the afternoon. I personally am not offended by the timing of the birthday party, but understand why others are.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I don’t know if you are this way, but even in my 20s-early 30s when brunch was central to my weekend plans, I was always team diner breakfast over brunch. The ONLY thing brunch had better than a diner, IMHO, were cocktails.
Anonymous says
I love diner breakfast. I tell my husband that I want to be the old couple that reads the newspaper across the table from each other at the local diner on weekdays and the 20-year old waitress knows our birthdays. If we still live in our current house, I know exactly what diner this will be — it only has about 10 tables, but it is The Best
Anonymous says
We’re going out of town with my cousin and his family rather than making a big deal out of Mother’s Day. I always get cranky because the weather in my area (Midwest) is terrible on Mother’s Day, but Father’s Day weather is awesome. Sure enough, Mother’s Day is looking to be chilly, cloudy, and rainy. I’m glad we’ll be in the car driving home. Later that evening after we’re home, my goal is to have my husband do the weekly grocery shopping and not be the one to cook dinner. I think he’ll come through.
Anon says
Really? I’m in the Midwest too but I vastly prefer early May weather to late June weather. By mid June it’s way too hot and humid for me!! Mothers Day forecast this year is high of 76 and sunny – that’s my perfect weather.
Anonymous says
Really. I like summer :)
Anon says
Late June in my area is high 80s/low 90s and super humid. I like upper 70s/low 80s but 85+ is too hot for me unless I’m at a beach resort and not leaving the pool all day.
GCA says
I’m a very low-key person and so is my mom (phew), plus my firstborn was inconsiderate enough to arrive in the second week of May, so we are doing things that are fun for him and me: a bit of volunteering, a bit of soccer, a long run with friends for me, and going out for hot pot on Saturday night!
i run a lot says
I want to do more of what we do any other weekend – hike, amusement park, or video games depending on the weather. My amazing mother emphasized this morning that she expects nothing as we do nice things for her regularly. For my MIL and stepmom, I ordered flowers to be delivered on Sunday. I try to channel my mom and keep it low key, and I no longer deliver on lofty expectations of me, either!
Isabella says
Last night DH sat me down for a “serious talk” to make sure he knew what exactly I want to Mother’s Day. I said scones and bouquets of lilacs, but I also know he bought me something. We discussed the importance of getting ahead on chores Saturday so that Sunday is truly relaxing, not something I pay the penalty for later.
A freind told me her gift is sleeping in and not solving the meltdowns. She’ll be there for the family activities, but when things go south she gets to bounce ;).
anon says
Scones and lilacs — you are my type of person!
OOO says
I made brunch reservations and sent DH a list of gift suggestions. I’ve learned that if I want something specific for Mother’s Day or other special occasions, I need to plan it myself
Anon says
My mother’s day should be low key but lovely, but I’m feeling like an a$$ because I sent my mom flowers not remembering that she’s going out of town the day after mother’s day. She’s annoyed about the waste, and probably about the fact that I didn’t remember her plans (although she didn’t articulate that part). I feel bad.
AwayEmily says
My Mother’s Day will consist of hanging out with my family doing whatever fun things my husband has planned, and doing zero kid-or-house-related work all day (no cooking, no planning, no packing snack bags, no wiping butts, no cleaning). Also, drinking a beer outside at some point. Maybe a nap?
So Anon says
Exciting choice: After years under a micromanaging boss and feeling stagnant, I have been actively interviewing. In my current role, there is a particular type of transactional and contract work that I truly enjoy. I have also frequently offered legal advice on the operational side of the business, and I enjoy providing legal advice on business issues and being part of the solution.
I now have two very different options: (1) Established and well respected company where I would focus on the contractual and transactional work that I enjoy. This is an opportunity to further specialize in this area with a company that is at the front of this type of work. This is a large company with established policies, procedures, and comes with the attendant bureaucracy. In this role, my boss would be a mom with young kids and she actively pursues her own hobbies; she reports to the GC of this very large company. This is a largely transactional practice, so long hours when the deals close. My boss would be based in Europe, and the US team is all over the east coast. The team is casual and generally polite. (2) PE backed 5 year old spin off from an established company. I would report directly to the GC and would do a bit of M&A, litigation, operational, etc. Very little, if any, hierarchy, so access to leadership. This company is in growth mode – to huge success. I would get a ton of experience and have the opportunity to take ownership of certain topics/areas/deals, but the culture is very intense and bottom line driven. Leadership feels finance bro to me. All of the leadership is either in NYC or its immediate surroundings or travels to NYC once per month.
Both are based in NYC. Option 1 would be travel to NYC maybe once per quarter. Option 2 would encourage me to be in NYC as much as possible.
I’m leaning toward option 1 because I truly do enjoy the work and value the history of the company. I am hesitant to join a PE backed company and am not after a super intense culture, though it does sound interesting and potentially fun. Thoughts?
GCA says
Personally I would go for option 1 – I am all about healthy work culture. My European colleagues seem to both work hard when it’s necessary and play hard (i.e when they are OOO, they are OUT, and they actually use their vacation time.) You’ll be doing work you enjoy, and a large company may offer internal opportunities for different kinds of work later on; it also has good brand recognition on a CV.
Anonymous says
What would you do with your kids during travel for job #2?
Boston Legal Eagle says
“Option 2 would encourage me to be in NYC as much as possible.” – isn’t this a deal breaker? You’re not going to be able to go to NYC that often, are you, and moving is probably not an option with your kids. Option 1 in general sounds way better! Start-ups give you a lot of learning opportunity, but come with a lot of risk and probably a lot of work. Given where you are in life, I don’t think this is what you want.
anon says
+1. Job 1 sounds better by a landslide.
Anonymous says
agreed, job 1 by a landslide
NYCer says
+2. Given what you have shared about your family, I don’t understand how you are really even considering Option 2. Congrats either way though!
Mary Moo Cow says
Congrats! My read on your descriptions of both options is that you are really want option 1. Maybe you just need permission from someone else to say it is okay to not want an “cool” but intense and bottom-line driven culture at this point in your life? (You are not in the NYC vicinity, right? And have two preteens/older elementary or middle school kids who you may not want to leave at home frequently or disrupt their rhythm by traveling?) Option 1 sounds far better to me, but I have zero ambition to move beyond my staid government job.
Anonymous says
#2 only sounds fun for a single workaholic with a big savings account and therefore the freedom to quit when things go south.
Anon says
Exactly.
Momofthree says
Given what you’ve shared about your family situation in the past, 100% option 1.
It sounds like the 2nd one would prefer you moved to NYC and/or you will be left out if you aren’t there.
The only downside to option 1 is that if there’s a large European operation, mornings may be more difficult/ sprinkled with calls. Your kids are older, so can probably handle some of that though.
Anonymous says
Option 1. How are you thinking option 2 which requires you to be in NYC as much as possible when you don’t live there would even work?
Anon says
#1 would be a no-brainer for me as a mom with a supportive and involved partner, and I don’t see how a single mom could even contemplate #2. I’m not saying that to be mean, I just don’t even understand how it’s logistically possible.
anonM says
Thoughts on option 2 – DH works for a “startup” that has grown immensely from when he started. It was very intense in the earlier days. It sounds like this isn’t toooo startup-ish, but thought I’d add in a few thoughts. He loves it overall — works with some of the top people in his field and loves working with such smart people. Enjoys overall that it isn’t as bureaucratic and face-time-above-all-else as other jobs. However, some of these types of companies will work you as much as you can do. He’s very very good at drawing boundaries, so it works for him, but know yourself there honestly, especially with the travel aspect. I, however, would not like the pace of change and drama of a company trying to establish more and more hierarchies and processes. If you find that opportunity fun and exciting, go for it. If you think that sounds like it will stress me out, probably avoid #2. It can be very high reward if you have the right personality and mindset.
Anon says
Everything about job 2 sounds awful to me, even if you were local to NYC and not a single mom. Add in your family situation and the fact that you live several states away and just… no. No way.
Anon says
Can I share a mom win? We’re in Italy and accidentally wandered into a Michelin starred restaurant with our picky, extremely high energy 5 year old tonight and she did SO WELL. We ate outdoors, so it wasn’t like she had to be perfectly quiet, but she sat in her chair for a two hour multi-course meal which is so not typical for her. She even tried new foods (arancini, burrata and chocolate mousse, so not exactly veggies but still…this is a kid who eats approx. 10 foods at home). It was by far the nicest meal my husband and I have had since becoming parents, since we don’t live in a town with fancy restaurants and have not traveled much without our kid.
Anon says
That sounds amazing!
Anonymous says
Oh, how lovely!