Here’s another rec compliments of my sister — a toothbrush holder that will keep your bathroom counter from looking like a “sh*tshow” (her word).
As a mom of three kids, my sister knows what to look for in a toothbrush holder — the multiple holders keep brushes from touching one another (eww, germs) and the center holders are perfect for various toothpastes (of course, each of her kids uses a different flavored toothpaste). Of course, getting kids to put things back themselves is another story.
This toothbrush holder is available at Amazon.
This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
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Parenting on the same page says
Any tips for getting on the same page with your partner for parenting policies? Husband is pretty strict and I’m pretty relaxed. Toddler has started having behavioral issues (pushing boundaries, saying no) and preferring me because I’m less strict.
Looking for a general resources on how to discuss with DH. None of his strictness is unreasonable, and it’s not like I let kid run around undressed eating cookies all the time. We just have different acceptable standards. Be gentle y’all
Anonymous says
So we have adopted kids who need a little extra patience and less “you must obey immediately and without question because I’m the adult.” That’s how DH and I were both raised though. What’s helped me is reading parenting books and discussing techniques with DH. Not lecturing him, but trying to engage “so and so says this and I think that’s interesting: what do you think?” I’ve asked him to read one book that I found particularly helpful, and he skimmed it. But he’s observed me change my style from relaxed to…structured with empathy? I’m not really sure how to describe it. That has seemed to have the most impact. DH is a good dad, he just has his moments, like we all do. I may ask if he’s interested in audiobooks for parenting: that seems to be his learning style. Hope this is helpful.
Anonymous says
No advice but we’re in the trenches on this too right now. My husband has watched a couple of the videos in the Big Little Feelings course and I think that’s helping a little, but it’s hard (for both of us!) to implement in the moment.
Anon says
I send him some reels and posts on IG. He doesn’t have the brain space or capacity to read full books on parenting at the moment so this is what works for us. After 22 months of this, he’s open to trying different techniques and tactics and we are slowly finding what works for us and our child. We also talk a lot about “oh I didn’t like how this was handled by you/grandma/grandpa.”
I can’t say we parent the exact same way, but he’s working on being open to parenting differently from how he was raised and realizing that there is no one approach to raising a child. (I reached that conclusion much earlier than him).
SC says
For issues that come up every day, like whether your toddler has to eat at a table or how long they have to sit at dinner, etc., I would work with your husband to set a family policy or family routine. Toddlers do better with predictability, and it’s probably not a great dynamic when different adults in the same house have different rules. Start from the place that both you and your husband have reasonable approaches, compromise, implement a new system, and adjust if it doesn’t work and/or when it stops working. (Because every good routine stops working eventually.)
For one-offs, I think the most important thing is not to undermine your husband in front of your child, and never to give in when your spouse has already drawn a boundary. If DH or I disagree with a stance the other took, we talk about it later in private. And in those talks, we try to see things from the other’s perspective.
Anonymous says
I posted above, but this is all really good advice. I think it might be more important to present a united (loving) front than to parent “the same.” Mom may be more lenient and dad may be more authoritative, but we both love you and are going to set health boundaries to keep you safe and help you grow up to be a resilient human.
anon says
This is a similar dynamic with my husband as well, and it causes some friction. But I think it’s okay if parents are a little different in their approach. Kids need to be adaptable, and one approach isn’t always the best all the time. Sometimes I see my husband do something, and I’m thinking in my head “why are you doing that, it won’t work,” and then the kids end up responding better than I thought (of course, sometimes the opposite is true as well). I don’t think we always need to teach our husbands to be like us and to think like us. That’s too much work and it just ends up annoying everyone. Sometimes it does help to discuss a specific repeat issue that we’re struggling with, read an article about it, and come up with ideas for how to handle it. In general though, I think you need to give each other space to parent.
Pogo says
We always chat after things have cooled down and we agree on a strategy. I read “Raising Your Spirited Child” and put together some cliffs notes (particularly the scripts on how to handle a meltdown) which helped.
With a toddler, a lot of it truly comes down to 1) hold boundary and ignore or 2) offer age appropriate choices. There is not much to do beyond that as their little brains can’t reason, count, understand the concept of time, etc. So I’m curious what further “discipline” he thinks your LO needs. My DH hates to do #1 as it results in the toddler screaming and stomping around yelling “MY! WANT! TREAT!” but unless you want to give in and let him have the treat (or whatever), there is no way around the tantrum. They’re fresh and being 2 is fine (BusyToddler).
Anon says
We’re deep in the thick of this, but honestly, our response has basically been to accept and appreciate our differences and let it go (assuming neither of us are being unreasonable). I figure kids are smart and adaptable and it’s probably good for them to have slightly different experiences. My husband is loving and smart and can handle his own relationship with our kids- if something’s not working he can figure it out. He asks for my thoughts if he wants them.
That being said, we also openly talk about our parenting goals and own personal struggles all the time. I literally texted him yesterday “ugh, I feel like we’ve been letting Daughter watch too much TV during meal times. Can we plan for family dinner tomorrow?”
Anon says
Oh- also I find it hugely helpful to chat about other people’s parenting styles. We have older nieces and nephews we see often and afterwards the two of us will causally talk about what we agree with and disagree with.
Anonymous says
Screaming into the void. I attended a multi-day in-person meeting a few weeks ago. Several participants got COVID, including someone who sat next to me for an entire day. I wore a mask and did not get COVID. Our daughter wears a mask at school and has never had COVID despite the fact that several kids she sits with have gotten it. Now my husband is being called into the office for in-person meetings and says he won’t wear a mask because “it makes it harder to communicate.” I am at elevated risk for COVID complications and long COVID. I guess my time has run out.
anon says
I’m sorry but yes, unless your risk for complications is temporary, like cancer treatment, then I think it’s time to acknowledge that it’s not reasonable to expect the people around you to wear masks forever.
Anonymous says
She’s not asking everyone around her to wear masks. She’s asking her husband with whom she presumably has a fair degree of intimate contact to mask during a brutal flu/Rsv/covid season.
OP – could you find some kind of happy medium with your DH where he masks in closer shared spaces like elevators/large meetings but not in his office or with a limited of number of colleagues he is meeting regularly? Obviously that depends on how your office works. At my building there is lots of masking in elevators/entry but not once people are on our floor but we are generally not meeting with clients in person so I’m unmasked around the same 40-50 people everyday vs. randoms in the elevator.
Anon says
I think it’s important for a family to be on the same page w/r/t masks. We’re still masking anywhere indoors/in-person because I’m pregnant and my doctors (regular OB and MFM b/c i’m old) recommended it. My husband is full time in-person, I’m full time remote, so he’s really the one impacted. He masks every day, even if he’s the only one in the room/meeting/conference masked.
Anon says
I completely disagree, but I also feel like masks are much less onerous than many here seem to. If she’s higher risk, it’s not unreasonable to expect her husband to wear a mask. It’s not like she’s asking every person in the meeting to wear one. Just her partner who she lives with and who loves her and should care about protecting her.
I think it’s absurd to say masking will impact his career. My husband and I have been masking this whole time. My husband has delivered several important work presentations in a mask. Some people think we’re silly for still masking (which is fine, everyone’s entitled to their opinion) but no one has held it against him in a professional way. He got promoted this year. Every time I go somewhere like the store or the movie theater, 95% of people aren’t in masks but there’s always one or two employees who are, and they’re laughing and chatting with their co-workers and the public, just like everyone else It’s a mask that covers your mouth and nose, not a cone of silence or a cloak of invisibility.
Anon says
“It’s a mask that covers your mouth and nose, not a cone of silence or a cloak of invisibility.”
Agree with this. I attended a two-day conference and wore an N95 the whole time. I made great connections, smiled with my eyes, asked questions, and didn’t get COVID. Most others didn’t mask, but absolutely no one asked me why I was masking or implied that I shouldn’t. Win-win all around.
Anon. says
I agree with this approach. My husband and I are on the same page, though. Masking 100% in the office, and eating outside/alone.
Lizard says
Your husband is correct. And if he continues to be the only person in the room wearing a mask, it will negatively impact his career and by extension your family. That may not be fair, but it’s reality. Same with the social impact on your daughter. You may want to talk to your doctor about your beliefs around this – does your doctor think all members of your family should be wearing masks in public at all times?
Anonymous says
He knows his workplace best, but we are back in the office now and about 10-20% of our workforce wears masks daily. It is never commented on nor does it impact our meetings or communications.
Anon says
+1 I’m the only one still masking on a normal day (although my direct boss and a few others will mask at larger events, like all-hands meetings and conferences) but no one has been rude at all and I don’t feel like it’s negatively impacted me at all. I’ve actually been surprised by how many people have offered to put on a mask for a one-on-one meeting with me, although I tell them it’s not necessary.
anon says
+2. Same percentage of colleagues who wear masks and I’ve never heard anyone say or intimate anything about it.
Anon says
Following up with the doctor is a good idea. Does it even help your chances of avoiding COVID for a vaccinated and boosted household members to be the only one wearing a mask in an indoor environment?
Anon says
If it’s a KN95 or better, definitely. I’m as boosted as I can be and very pro-vaccine, but the vaccines do very little to prevent infection at this point. They’re mainly relevant to preventing severe disease. If the goal is preventing infection, a high quality mask is a very important tool.
Anonymous says
Many doctors recommend that even when people are not high risk. It’d be shocked if OP’s doctor didn’t. There is zero evidence of professional or social impact from masking.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/ontario-masks-1.6646039#:~:text=Ontario%20doctors%20are%20advising%20the,that's%20hitting%20children%20particularly%20hard.
Anon says
Are there studies on the professional/social impact this either way?
Anonymous says
Exactly so take the precautionary approach and protect your health with a mask.
Anon says
Isn’t it a violation of the ADA to discriminate against a high risk person who chooses to wear a mask? Unless they’re in a profession where a mask interferes with their ability to perform their job but I can only think of a couple jobs where that would be the case.
I’m really frustrated at how the discourse has shifted from “masking is an individual choice, no more mandates” (which I agree makes sense at this point in the pandemic) to “masking is wrong, no one should be wearing one.” I’m not asking anyone else to wear a mask. I think it’s really unreasonable to tell me I can’t wear mine, or I can wear it but I’ll be penalized for it. :(
Anon says
Oh gosh, I don’t think anyone is saying you shouldn’t wear one yourself! The question is whether the poster’s husband is being unreasonable for not wanting to wear one.
Anon says
I agree that OP’s situation is different than mine because of the issue of her and her husband not being in agreement, but a lot of the comments here have a strong undercurrent of disdain for those still wearing masks without a “valid” reason like chemo. I’m particularly frustrated by how blase people are about mask-wearers being punished for that choice at work (which for the record hasn’t been my experience – but if it happens, it isn’t ok).
Anonymous says
I mean of course it’s an ADA violation but welcome to the real world?
NLD in NYC says
You have a medical condition that can lead to complications if you catch COVID. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask if your husband (and daughter) to continue to mask in somewhat risker situations. However, you can’t control your husband (or anyone else for that matter). Agree with Anonymous @10:05 AM; can he mask when he’s in closer contact with others of unknown vaccination status? Hopefully his boss and other compassionate humans will understand that some continue to mask out of safety for vulnerable loved ones.
Anonymous says
Does she?
Anonymous says
Yes, two of them.
Anon says
Can you follow up with your husband about the communication issue? I did not realize how much I rely on lips and facial expressions to understand what people were saying until I was wearing a mask in public. I was basically guessing at what people were saying for two years.
Well says
I tend to agree that masks make it harder to communicate. Not impossible, but harder. That’s not to say there’s no place for them.
Whether the spouse is acting reasonably here to me depends on the severity of the medical condition, physician’s advice etc. I’m not a doctor and don’t have specifics, so I’m not going to weigh in on that either way.
Anon says
As a fellow high-risk person, I sympathize with your situation. I also sympathize in advance about all the comments you’ll get about how you’re being “unreasonable” and “unrealistic” for expecting your life partner who loves you to wear a soft face covering while in meetings. Our lot really, really sucks sometimes.
Anon says
I sometimes get the impression here that the women on this board are all married to spouses who are ideologically on the exact same page for every issue. My spouse and I disagree on Covid restrictions and have for several years at this point (including through one pregnancy). The idea that I would get them to wear a mask just because I felt it was right for our family/my health, would never fly. It would be great in your situation if it did, and maybe in your relationship it will! But just for a dose of reality from the marriages that are not as aligned as this board always portrays: in my own relationship, and many others that I know, the non-masking spouse is not going to suddenly start just because their spouse reasonably asks them too.
Are there other accommodations that would help you feel that you could mitigate some risks for yourself? You or them sleeping in a separate bedroom or kids room until two subsequent negative tests, etc?
anon says
Yeah, my husband is the paranoid one who always wears a mask indoors, and I never wear a mask anymore except at the airport or doctor’s office. We’ve always had different risk tolerances. But usually we just let each other do our thing. We don’t have medical issues at play, so it’s a little less urgent for us. You have to pick your battles. That’s life.
Hmmm says
This might be regional based on the number of responses saying they still mask—but I haven’t seen anyone masking professionally in months. It’s rare enough now that it someone came to a meeting in a mask, I would honestly assume they had had covid within the last 10 days and would keep a bit of distance.
Anon says
Is that a problem? I don’t really care what people think, although of course I’d be truthful if asked.
Hmmm says
No, not a problem. I just thought it was interesting how different things are in different places and was offering some perspective on the current “norm” where I am.
Anon says
I’m not sure there’s much geographical distinction at this point. Masking is very rare everywhere now. But I also don’t think that makes it wrong to mask if you want to, and my experience has been that even if I’m the only one in the room masked no one cares. Also I know some parents who are now masking because they don’t want to give their babies RSV, and my daughter’s daycare teacher wears one because she says it helps her allergies. So it’s not necessarily just a Covid cautious thing at this point.
Hmmm says
I agree that it’s definitely not wrong to mask! I didn’t mean to suggest that at all. I just haven’t run into it in the workplace for a long time, so I was surprised by how many people on this thread are still masking at work.
NYCer says
No one is wearing masks in my office anymore either. There were a few people still wearing them over the summer and early fall, but even they have given up by now.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We have very few people masking in my Boston office. I still wear a mask on the trains, and health facilities as required, but nowhere else.
Anon says
+1 I’m in Texas and no one masks. If I see someone in a mask I assume they’ve had covid recently and keep my distance. And in DH’s industry (real estate finance) it would absolutely hurt him professionally to mask now. That may not be fair, but it’s also true. I’m in house counsel and I could probably get away with it.
I also think it probably does hurt your daughter, though I am sorry to say that! That’s not to say that both husband and daughter shouldn’t be masking, but I’d be realistic about weighting the costs vs benefits, especially over the long term. You may come out on the side of asking them to mask, but you can also recognize there’s professional and social costs at this point (or there would be in my large city).
Anonymom says
Same here, and I am in a very covid-cautious area (SF).
Anon says
I’m at a point where masks seem futile. I’m expected to attend indoor meals with colleagues. My kids eat lunch indoors in a crowded lunch room every day. My husband works in a facility where no one is masked and he eats lunch in close proximity to a room full of people. If someone in the family had cancer or another serious illness, we might opt out of those maskless activities and always mask, but that’s not where we are. We have to engage in life. I’d have a serious conversation with your doctor about your real risk given currently available therapies.
We still mask in medical facilities, in planes/airports and in an Uber/Lyft. That’s it.
anon says
I agree. Masks were never meant to be a permanent fixture in life. I think masks are uncomfortable, annoying, and restrictive. I wore them during the pandemic and when required to do so, but I’m happy to see things relax now.
Yes says
Agreed.
River bird says
I feel the opposite. What I’ve taken away from this pandemic is that indoor air quality is often pretty terrible and if I can prevent myself from getting sick from respiratory viruses (covid, rsv, flu), I’m going to wear a high quality mask. It’s not an inconvenience to me given the benefits. I do a baseline, non scientific assessment of the space when deciding to mask – crowded train? Mask. Empty grocery store? No mask. Work meeting? Gauge the room, spacing, and if anyone is coughing. It’s not perfect but I’m all about lowering risk even if eliminating risk is impossible. And if I had a vulnerable family member, I’d mask indoors to protect them.
anon says
I don’t wear a mask unless required, and I hardly ever get sick. I don’t think it’s worth the effort, unless you have a medical condition that warrants it.
Anon says
I think it depends on how much “effort” you think a mask is. To me, it really just isn’t that big a deal so even if there’s only the slightest benefit, it’s worth it.. It’s also about protecting others, not just yourself. As a mom of a daycare kid, I pretty much always have some kind of crud, and I know I’ve had RSV at least twice. If wearing a mask in the grocery store protects me from spreading RSV to a parent of a vulnerable newborn baby it will have been worth it. I know I’m definitely in the minority on this, but I plan to mask in public indoor spaces in perpetuity. To me, there’s just no downside to it. Masking isn’t uncomfortable or burdensome to me and I don’t care if strangers can see my mouth and nose.
Anonymous says
I feel the same way. I used to get sick every time I traveled. I will never get on a plane or public transit without a mask again, even if COVID is magically eradicated. I also think schools should be required to improve ventilation to reduce the spread of all kinds of illnesses. Even with a flu shot my kid usually brings home two different strains of the flu every year.
Anonymous says
[email protected] 12:58, congratulations on having a superior immune system and amazing luck? I have neither so masks greatly improve my quality of life. I had bronchitis for 9 months straight before the pandemic. Since March of 2020, I have not been sick once. It’s unbelievable how much better life is when you are not constantly sick.
Anonymous says
My family has caught so many minor illnesses from my school-aged kid since August it’s unbelievable. We are now having kiddo mask at school as are many other parents. I hope it’s not something we’ll do forever, but at this point it’s worth it to us to try to reduce some risk. I am also planning to buy a high quality air filter for his classroom (with permission of the teacher of course).
Anon says
I’ll add a data point that I don’t have a great immune system, but all my illness comes from my kid and to a lesser degree from my teacher husband (especially his first couple of years teaching when he seemed to catch everything his students had). I don’t believe I’ve ever in my life caught a virus from the grocery store or an airplane, so I tend to agree with those saying you’re unlikely to catch most things there. I had a nice break from sickness in 2020-2021 when there were mask mandates at daycare and my husband’s school but ever since this spring when the mandates were lifted, I’ve been sick essentially non-stop. I still wear masks in public, because it seems like an easy thing to do to protect myself and others, especially now that I’m sick myself so much. But I think statistically the odds of me catching a non-Covid virus at the grocery store are very low, even with my crap immune system.
Anon says
I think one thing that is probably under discussed is that the benefits and burdens really do differ for individuals. I’m lucky to get sick rarely, which I appreciate. But on the flip side, I do sometimes have a weird anxiety/claustrophobia reaction to masks. I hesitate to say that because it makes me sound like a crazy anti-masker and I promise I’m not. I do mask up when required or requested! But it definitely means I’ve had to leave stores to throw up as a result and I’m not eager to take that on in perpetuity! Similarly, having everyone around then in masks is a real burden for a couple of hard of hearing folks I know who depend heavily on lift reading.
Anonymous says
Disagree. I wish we were like Asia where lots of people mask on public transport even pre covid.
Anon says
My post got eaten, apparently, but I wanted to say that I hear you and am in the same boat. You deserve to be heard and respected.
Anon says
My husband had Covid and my kid and I didn’t get it, so there’s hope that even if he gets it you won’t.
Anon says
Same (although we also had him quarantine in the basement guest room as soon as he tested positive and until he had his two negatives). But we were both definitely exposed before then.
Coach Laura says
OP, I am late commenting but you might want to broach with your husband what will happen to all of your lives if you get long covid, or become unable to work or contribute to the household management. Remember the old study about replacing a mom’s work would cost $80,000 a year, and that was 15 years ago? Sure, if you get long covid, you will be impacted but think about the impact to your husband and child(ren). Can he do everything you do and that he does – cook, clean, daycare drop-off/pickup, financial management – all by himself while being the ONLY breadwinner? Even if you have short term or long term disability pay, it doesn’t amount to much.
So have a frank conversation about what life would look like if you got long covid and were housebound/bedbound. Ask him is an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. You might be able to convince him that way. And as far as coworkers, he can spread the word with boss and coworkers that a member of the household is at high risk, is immune-suppressed or whatever and he is being more careful as a result.
Elle says
Does anyone have experience with Shein- specifically their maternity clothes? A friend mentioned it- I’ve never ordered from them and it seems like cheaper forever 21? We’re likely one and done so I don’t want to invest in things I’ll never wear again.
Anonymous says
Oh, no.
https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/untold-inside-the-shein-machine-documentary
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I’ve heard that Shein is terrible quality.
I really liked Asos for my pregnancies. Cost was reasonable and the stuff was durable. I wore the stuff through 2 pregnancies, loaned them to a neighbor in between #1 and #2, and ultimately donated to a friend. Caveat I purchased these items in 2017 so no idea what their quality is like now.
Poshmark probably has some great options for higher quality stuff at a lower pricepoint.
Anon says
I did similarly didnt want to spend money on maternity clothes, and therefore a well-intentioned family member bought me a bunch of stuff from Shein despite their bad reputation. They were perfectly wearable basics, although we returned one peice that was sewn together completely wrong.
Vicky Austin says
I don’t trust Shein, for reasons probably well highlighted by that article posted above. I’d try H&M – I’ve liked what I’ve gotten from there so far and it’s quite cheap.
NLD in NYC says
Another low cost alternative is the maternity section at Burlington. Got a lot a basic tops and leggings from them.
Marshmallow says
Try a rental service like Rent the Runway. For basics, just go to Target– I’ve had the best luck with maternity jeans in their “Isabel” brand and they’re all like $30.
Anonymous says
Absolutely not. It is the worst of the worst.
Anonymous says
Old Navy is your friend here. Inexpensive if you wait for a sale and honestly better quality than some of the “fancier” brands I tried.
I also got a bunch of maternity clothes off our locks buy nothing group and am passing them on now that I had the baby.
Anon says
Agree, SheIn is bad quality and ethically sketchy.
You can probably get away with a small capsule collection. My office is more casual than most, but I had two pairs of jeans, three dresses, leggings, tights, and I think maybe four of five blouses and sweaters – that was it. I was heavily pregnant in winter but I never purchased a maternity coat, I just wore one of my husband’s jackets. Wearing a regular coat unzipped could also work – pregnant women normally run pretty hot. I got these pieces mostly from Old Navy and Target so the overall cost was probably less than $200. I passed my clothes (minus the jeans) along to a friend when I was done, which helps from an environmental waste perspective but didn’t net me any money.
Vicky Austin says
Yeah, if I’d been pregnant in the winter in North Dakota I’d have bought a proper coat for sure. Here in Texas I don’t have a remote need for one.
Anon says
Gap, Old Navy, and Target are better options. Lululemon Aligns will also fit through your entire pregnancy and postpartum, if you want something you can keep wearing.
Anon says
What are your kids favorite toothpastes? My kids come and steal mine and DH’s (adult, mint) and I’m not sure if I should be steering them back towards kids or not.
DLC says
If they are of the age to use flouride toothpaste, I say let them use your same toothpaste. I will be sooooo happy once everyone in our house uses the same toothpaste. Currently in our family of five, we have four different brands of toothpaste going. Everyone is so stuck in their preferences that if they run out, it is tantrums and tears and perish the thought of using any of the other three kinds of toothpastes in the house. Makes me want to stick a toothbrush in my eye sometimes. (And yes, I fully acknowledge that I am loyal to my toothpaste so very much part of the problem here.)
For the record one kid uses Crest Sparkle Fun, and the other uses whatever Giant Name Brand strawberry flavoured one.
OP says
Ha, okay fair. Maybe I’ll lean in.
But I have the opposite problem. Wake up, shuffle into bathroom, wet toothbrush, can’t find toothpaste. And then have to go search the bathrooms to figure out which kid stole it! The grass is always greener…
Anon2 says
My 7-year-old is this way and I recently got him his own tube of Crest “clean mint” flavor. My 5 and 1.5 yo use Toms children’s strawberry flavor. They all have fluoride (we have well water, extra important) so I don’t really see the difference between kids and adults, other than marketing? (Maybe a difference between the more “natural” brands and conventional, but I haven’t looked into it to be sure. Possibly also marketing, lol)
Anonymous says
As long as they are old enough for fluoride, it’s fine to use adult toothpaste. I’m old enough that when I was a kid there wasn’t even such a thing as kids’ toothpaste.
Anon says
Long haul flight to Asia is next weekend! 5-year-old will likely be fine with tablet, books, misc toys.
My almost 2 year old…I don’t know. He’ll watch some screen (e.g. Sesame Street Alphabet songs on YT), but won’t put on headphones. I’ve bought window clings, stickers, a block set (I expect all to be gone by the time we land), etc. Will pack a few books, and he’s highly entertained by cups, so glad to have those. We’ll spend some time walking the aisles of course. He’ll have his own seat and be in a carseat (airline requirement). Any tips?!
Lil says
Roll of blue tape. a huge hit with toddlers and easy to throw away.
GCA says
Good luck! Do you have any layovers, or is it a direct flight? Our last very long-haul flight was 3 years ago (older kid was 4.5yo, younger was 1.5). It rapidly devolved into all snacks all the time. So – lots of snacks!
Otherwise, novelty is key. Bring lots of books (but throw in some favourites), maybe a new Water Wow or two, and the toys you list.
Also, hot tip: you don’t have to screen the kid shows at high volume with no headphones – you may find the toddler will not care whether the sound is on or not.
Anonymous says
Yup. Just don’t use sound it’s still entertaining! And a blanket on the floor is a good place for a nap.
I try to pack pretty light because you can’t use it if you can’t find it and overnight flights get pretty dark
Anon. says
Do not let your child nap on the airplane floor. First, it is a safety issue, and second, it is gross (not just the floor itself but the underside of the seats).
Anon says
Meh, a blanket mitigates the grossness and it’s not really a safety issue unless there’s severe turbulence, in which case I agree you move the kid.
Anonymous says
Would the flight attendants even allow this?
Pogo says
No, if they saw it they would not allow it. It’s a safety issue.
Anon says
My kid has never done it, she’s not a good plane napper (except on the rare occasions we get to fly business, lol) but I’ve seen lots of kids doing it on long haul flights. think if your family has an entire row to yourself the flight attendant wouldn’t even notice.
GCA says
nooo, don’t nap on the floor if there is a perfectly good car seat available. Also, most armrests lift up, in a pinch you can drape a toddler somewhat awkwardly across your lap. Bring the little travel blanket anyway as it comes in handy. One, it is probably cleaner than the airline blanket (at least at first). Two, you can always put it on the airport floor during a long layovers and have somewhere safe to lay a kid down. we have one of those packable camp blankets.
Anonymous says
Good luck! I ended playing Angry Birds on the airplane’s tablet for several hours on an international flight with my almost 2yo over the summer. It held her interest much longer than the stickers and videos.
SC says
You have a good start!
– Show him pictures of himself and other family members on our phones.
– For a long flight, maybe something like Richard Scarry’s Cars and Trucks and Things That Go. We also had a book called Clifford’s School House which has an above-average number of flaps to lift–it’s available used online.
– A bag of pipe cleaners. They’re colorful and bendy and fuzzy. You can twist them into different crazy shapes. I’ve seen suggestions to bring an old spice jar and practice pushing and pulling the pipe cleaners in and out through the holes.
– Water Wow!
– Color Wonder books and markers.
Anon says
Practice now with the headphones if he’ll be watching TV with sound – otherwise, no sound.
I second the tape idea (just be prepared to pull it off, which might feel tiring when you yourself are exhausted…).
Anon says
You may be surprised by how well screens work. We took my daughter to Europe when she was 15 months and she watched the seatback screen for the whole flight home. She didn’t have sound but she was still very entertained by it. She basically never had screens at home at that age, and it was a long time after that before she had the attention span for a normal 1-2 hour kids movie at home (tbh, even at age 5 she struggles to sit through a movie at home). I’m not really sure why, but for some reason it’s just different on a plane.
Anonymous says
Download the app “Video Touch.” It worked well for our kids before they were really ready for screens. It’s short (20 second?) videos of trucks, animals, musical instruments, etc. this probably outs me but we were introduced to it by another parent on a flight who literally handed us his phone so our 20 month old could use this app.
Abby says
Starting to look into daycares that we won’t need until next August (baby is due in April). We don’t have any friends or family in the area, so I can’t get recommendations from others like I’d prefer, but will start visiting them in person the next few weeks. What are things I should look for and ask about? I’m still undecided if I want to do nanny or daycare, but based on recommendations from here, I’d like to have a daycare spot secured in case I can’t find a nanny I like.
anon says
Get on the list at the “best” centers now – even if you are undecided. I overhead ours tell a prospective family the infant wait extends through next fall. Enrolled families typically (in our case, always) have priority for infant spaces over new families.
As far as what to ask, what’s important to you? Safety, ratios, outdoor time, screen time (as they age), location (home vs. office), staff turnover, discipline practices, meals provided (older kids). For us – I wanted safety/staff ratios, location, meals provided (did NOT want to pack a toddler or twos lunch everyday).
Visit a few and it will be clear to you what matches your needs/value/budget. Start today.
Anon says
My first recommendation would be to get on all the waitlists you can and not worry about tours until closer to the date and you get a spot. Some centers might not have spots available. Things can change a lot in a year.
States provide quality ratings for centers which I found helpful. We lucked out having a high quality center a few blocks from our house so I didn’t do too much searching, but things I now appreciate include:
– teacher and director longevity. Our center (like most) has had an issue with substitute staffing and turnover, but the main teachers have been there for years and years
– what they provide. Ours provides all food, drinks including formula, linens etc. We just drop off our daughter in weather appropriate clothes.
Pogo says
+1 to teach longevity and turnover. That is a good first indicator, second is references. Always ask for references and speak with them ideally on the phone.
Anon says
Does anyone know where the quality ratings for CA are? I was doing some googling, but nothing looked legit!
Pogo says
In Massachusetts, it’s under the Department of Early Education and Childcare – so probably searching “daycare ratings” wouldn’t pick it up.
Anon says
Depending on your area, you should just get on several wait lists now and then figure out which ones you actually like later. We ended up preferring a daycare that was part of a true preschool so kiddo can stay until kindergarten. Other things to look at includes: the nap set up, how they feed solids when the time comes (i.e. will they support BLW, do you need to bring your own plate and bib, etc..), do the give the children a lot of floor time or are they in swing and chairs all day?
Anon says
Where I live you have to pay for waitlists, so that people don’t sign up at all of the daycares. I would find some local community or parenting groups on Facebook and ask there – that is where all the gossip is and the most likely place to get actual informed opinions on local places. Parents will tell you where they’re happy and the details on where they’re not. Yes FB sucks but it has its uses.
Anon says
Agree with getting on waitlists ASAP. But know that you may have to be pretty proactive to get off the waitlist. I called our daycare to arrange a tour after we’d been sitting on the waitlist for a year and they were like “nah we have a two+ year waitlist, spots only open at X time of year, there’s no point in touring, don’t call us we’ll call you” but I insisted on a tour just for informational purposes and the Monday after our Friday tour we got offered a spot starting in less than two months. I later found out that tons of people had the same experience at this and other daycares. Personally I think this is sketchy and I wish places were more objective but it seems super common.
CCLA says
Yes to getting on lists now if you can (some required a tour first for us). I’m in CA and not aware of quality ratings like mentioned above, but I did do a search for licensing and any infractions or complaints through the CDSS site. We’ve liked the larger centers (which tend to have longer hours) and have found NAEYC accreditation to be a good sign.
A says
Suggestions for family card/board/etc. games that both my four-year-old and eight-year-old will like? Trying to stave off frustration and boredom as we look ahead to long winter weekends.
Anonymous says
Uno!
anon says
Trouble is a favorite in our house. The 4-year-old may need some help, but that’s true for about any game.
Ashley says
+1 for Trouble. My 4yo didn’t need help after the first round or two.
Anon says
My kids are 4 and 9 and current faves for game night are the family edition of The Floor is Lava and old school Perfection (we have the two-player version).
DLC says
+1 for Uno.
Also Sleeping Queens, Code Names, Jenga
If you’re playing as a family and the adults can help the four year old, we also really like King of Tokyo and Ticket to Ride.
Anon says
Sequence Jr is excellent
Anon says
Guess Who with an adult helping the 4 yo.
Boston Legal Eagle says
90% of the time, my 4 year old picks Liz. I still try to play along, but it’s funny the way he plays.
SC says
Carcassonne Junior!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Monopoly Jr. has been a hit with my 4 and 6 year olds.
Seafinch says
Does anyone else wish you were game people but it always implodes and ends in tears and anguish? I don’t know if we are missing the gene but we really are the pits at games. They quickly lose interest (maybe after two sessions) and the box inevitably gets busted open and pieces lost.
SC says
Our best strategies for avoiding tears are playing cooperative games and playing games that go quickly so everyone has a chance to win. And we only have one kid, so we often stop playing after he gets a win. Some games also seem more intense than others. Candy Land always, always ends in tears and somebody refusing to finish (and lose) the game. On the other hand, Kiddo has yet to win a game of chess, but he’s never gotten upset about it and is happy to keep playing.
Anon says
How did your marriage change when you had children? We’re expecting our second kid in a few weeks. We can feel our marriage has changed so that our common experience between us is our toddler, and, for many reasons, we no longer share the things we shared when we started dating. I’m not sure what that means for us as a couple, especially when number two gets here.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We have 2 kids. I’d say kids has changed our relationship to be more “mature” for lack of a better phrasing – we are the parents now, and also have a house and have advanced in our careers, so there’s less time/desire for spontaneous fun like going out to eat all the time or random long workout days. But it hasn’t hurt our marriage – in fact, it’s made us more of a team and I especially value how all in my husband is on caregiving (should be the norm, but it’s often not). We do try to take some time for just us over the year through a couples vacation, made possible by my parents babysitting, and occasional date nights out. That’s a little less frequent than we’d probably like. The hardest parts were when we were in the thick of baby + toddler, and there really wasn’t time for us to do much else. And combine that with Covid, and we felt really stretched.
For better or for worse, we didn’t come into child rearing with a ton of time consuming hobbies or large social life – I think we both felt ready for the parents lifestyle, even if it is exhausting and frustrating and repetitive at times. We enjoy spending time together at nights when the kids are in bed, just watching the same shows, or talking about random news events. Ultimately, my husband is still my best friend and seeing him grow into his role as dad has only strengthened our relationship.
anon says
I think having kids challenged our marriage for sure. I am also incredibly grateful to my husband for giving me two beautiful, wonderful kids. I’m glad he’s willing to be in the trenches with me. Hard times give you the opportunity (or force you, depending on how you look at it) to learn and adjust and shift your perspective, so hopefully we’ll come out of this stronger and with better coping and relationship skills. It’s a process.
Pogo says
It sounds like you need more planned date nights/couple time to reconnect. Even if you don’t share the same things as when you started dating I’m guessing you still share things like work drama (we all have it, and I like to dish to an uninvolved third party to keep myself from gossiping), sense of humor (you both find the same things funny, so if you notice something in your day that’s hilarious, you can tell them when you get home), sports or news (we aren’t huge sports fans, but this can be a great way to connect if you are).
Finally, this one is shallow but we always have 1 show we are watching “together” – the other person cannot advance episodes without the other person. We binge it together and have little inside jokes about it that we bring into the rest of our day that make each other laugh (like when we were watching Game of Thrones, we’d say stuff like, ‘Oh look its Little Pogo, first of his name, protector of the playroom, mother of stuffies’ and he’d just be like “what? you guys are weird”).
We also have a rule you are not allowed to watch a movie on a plane if the other person might want to see it with you at a future point in time. Idk, maybe these are dumb, but it’s how we stay connected!
Isabella says
Question for those who pump in a lactation room rather than a private office: How much time is it available to you? At this point there are 4 of us trying to pump 2 or 3 times a day in the same room. The schedule kind of works, but there is almost no flexibility. If something comes up and I miss my 9 am session, I’m stuck sore and leaking till 2:30. Just wondering if this is normal SOP or a little statistical anomaly?
Boston Legal Eagle says
When I pumped in our office lactation room, there was a way to sign up for certain times where you would be booked. I believe you were able to see who else was on the schedule, in case you needed to change. Luckily for me, it was usually just me booking the room, but if there were others for the day, I did try to think of this booking as a non-negotiable “meeting” – everything else would just have to wait. I booked for 30 min at a time.
Isabella says
Thanks for the anecdata– I’m not sure if a dynamic digital schedule would be easier or harder than just a fixed schedule posted on the door.
I do try to keep it non-negotiable, blocked in Outlook, etc. This is just not an organization that runs on schedules, and the walk from my desk to the pumping room is a gauntlet of “oh, this will just take a minute” (spoiler, it’s never just a minute). Whiiiine!!!
Spirograph says
I would raise this to the building management and ask if they can create another pumping space. This happened in my previous building where we just had more nursing mothers than capacity would allow for, and they found a new space for us + added cubicle dividers so that more than one person could use it at a time.
But to answer your original question: our sign ups were for 30 min slots
Anonymous says
+1 getting a new space sounds like what’s needed, though it won’t help in the short term.
Isabella says
I guess I’m wondering at what point it’s fair to say we’ve exceeded capacity? Is it when the moms are stressed and not able to pump at optimal times, or not until the room is literally fully occupied?
Anon says
I argue it’s the first one. If you’re having to skip pumping sessions you’re past capacity and it’s reasonable to request more space.
Spirograph says
That’s a call for building management, but it’s worth asking now. Pumping is a bodily function – you don’t have to book a bathroom for bathroom breaks, there’s just an expectation that there’s adequate capacity to accommodate the people in the building when they need it. 4 women and only one pumping space seems like fully occupied to me.
You might need to spell out that not all pumping times are created equal — people aren’t usually going to want to use the room within an hour of arriving or leaving work, they need to space their sessions fairly evenly throughout the day. Many companies are really trying to do the right thing for working mothers, so going through your management chain on a parallel track might get traction pretty quickly.
Anonomom says
You could ask to get a curtain put up to divide the space so more than one person can use it at once – that’s what my office has (and you book it like a conference room on outlook).
Anon says
This may be a very ignorant question (I WFH and had my first baby during Covid, so I only ever pumped at home and also have zero issues breastfeeding in public). But can more than one of you use the room at the same time? Like I would have no issue if another woman was pumping in the same room as me, but maybe this is a taboo I’m unaware of?
Anon says
I would also have no issue with this but a lot of my friends did.
Anonymous says
not so much a taboo, but every single-occupancy workplace pumping room I’ve used locks from the inside. so you’d have to let someone else in mid-stream, and heaven forbid the doorway opens to a higher-traffic area. (I never had an issue breastfeeding in public, but I felt much less exposed breastfeeding than shirtless and hooked up to a pump.)
Isabella says
Not an ignorant question,kind of an interesting one. There does seem to be some bs taboo, like we’re not even supposed to talk about pumping. But on a more pragmatic note, there’s only one chair and one power strip, it would be tight squeezing 2 people into the space.
Anonymous says
Pumping is much more exposed than nursing. Asking people to share a pumping room without privacy dividers is unreasonable.
Anon says
When I was pumping at my old company several of my coworkers had no issue with this and would do this.
I absolutely had a major issue with this and refused.
The policies and availability needs to be in place as if everyone would have an issue with this. Full stop. If some choose to pair up, they can, but that can’t be an expectation.
Anonymous says
I can’t figure out how the “choice” would be presented in a way that seemed truly voluntary. Like “Hey, Susie, I need to pump at the same time as you. Do you mind if we pair up?” puts Susie in a very awkward position where she looks like a jerk if she says no.
Spirograph says
right?
My office’s room had two stations with a divider. I still exchange holiday cards with the woman who often pumped at the same time as me (the kids are now 7 and we haven’t worked together for years!), but she was a stranger when our babies were born and doubt we’d have have chosen to hang out topless together.
Pogo says
Our headquarters has dividers, which I was fine with. But my small satellite office has a room w/ a door that locks. If there were more than 2 women trying to use it, we’d need a divider or another room imo. As someone who gets clogs and mastitis from missing just 1 session, this would be a dealbreaker for me.
Anon says
Well I’d have to take off my shirt and bra to put on a pumping bra, then you can see my nipples being sucked into the pump. Then I’d hunch over and try to pretend to be comfortable so that it didn’t affect my output. Then there’s another shirtless couple of minutes where I clean up. I’d liken it to taking a crap in front of your coworkers. Maybe cool for you, but not for me.
anon says
Is there another, less optimal space where you could pump on days when you can’t make your scheduled time? We had a file room that I used a few times in a pinch. I put a sign on the door and used my cover up in case someone couldn’t bother to read. I wouldn’t spend the whole day in pain. In a worst case situation, I’d pump in my car (with my battery powered pump).
Anon says
Time to talk to management about needing a second space or a larger one where multiple people can pump (obviously in privacy, separated by cubicles or curtained off areas). The schedule is not working if a slight delay means you can’t access it again for 5 hours – your workplace probably doesn’t want you to drop whatever you are in the middle of to run to the pump room.
In the meantime, do you have access to an alternative option like a conference room or friend with a closed office or in a pinch the bathroom?
River bird says
I’ll throw it out there that many people don’t understand that pumping has to occur every day, multiple times a day, optimally at certain time intervals, and that it takes a certain amount of set up/clean up. This is hopefully not the case for your office, but it might help in explaining to management why the single-occupancy lactation room isn’t cutting it. It’s highly likely that pumping schedules of multiple women would overlap given the usual 8-5ish workday!
Isabella says
Thanks everyone! I will be reaching out to HR as soon as I hear back from the other moms about what their preferred solutions would be. Luckily management is generally pretty responsive, probably partly because they are mostly working moms themselves :).
Music says
My 7 yo kid like to listen to music as he falls asleep, which I currently stream from my phone to his headphones or a Bluetooth speaker in his room. But I’d like to get him some way to play music himself. We don’t have an Alexa bc we have privacy concerns … but maybe that’s the answer? MP3 player? Any suggestions?
Anon says
I bought a CD player. I get CDs from the library.
BlueAlma says
What brand of CD player did you buy? We have bought at least three (two cheap, one expensive) and they have all quit working pretty quickly.
anon says
We just gave in to an Alexa (kids mode) + Spotify, there’s a mic mute button and you could always unplug it when he wakes up. Ours gets unplugged a lot. We also looked into getting a CD player but didn’t want to keep buying and losing CDs (kiddo is 5 but has two smaller siblings).
There’s something called Tonies but I bet 7 is aging out.
Anon says
My 9 yo loves her Alexa. I often catch her sitting in her beanbag, reading a book while Alexa plays in the background.
anon says
Have you looked into the Yoto Player? I am considering it for my toddler so I don’t have firsthand experience with it, but it seems to be easy to use and they have the create your own cards so you could easily create your own playlists.
synchronia says
My kids (3 and 5) love the Yoto!
Anon says
We have a Yoto player and my 5 year old loves it. There’s music cards you can buy plus there are different radio stations and podcasts with kid-friendly content.
Music says
Thanks for the recs. We actually have a CD player for him that we used a lot when he was smaller (he loved picking out cds from our collection – yes I am old lol – and looking at the liner notes etc while listening) but now he likes specific songs from different artists. I didn’t know Alexa had a kid mode – that’s super helpful!
As an aside, it’s really neat to see your child develop individual music preferences, even if I personally am getting really sick of imagine dragons.
Isabella says
lololol…Imagine Dragons came on during LBs dance party last night and he just looooked at me with utter disdain…dude can’t talk yet but he has opinions!
Anon says
My husband gets sick constantly. Like every few days there is some new cough or ailment. He’s a part-time SAHD and it’s becoming an issue with his ability to do chikdcare regularly
Is there anything that can be done to improve general health? Just sleep, water, vitamins?
Anonymous says
Have him and your kids wear masks in public. For reals.
Anon for this says
This + extensive hand washing during the day
Sincerely, an Epidemiologist before 2020.
Anon says
honestly I’m kind of like that and would love to know what would keep me from getting sick constantly. The other week i somehow got strep and the kids weren’t even sick (fortunately)
Anon says
If he is getting sick with recurrent bacterial infections (like strep or pneumonia), he should be assessed for immune deficiency. If it’s more like colds/injuries/minor ailments, then more sleep, diligent handwashing, and masking can all be great tools. It depends on lifestyle/exposure. I used to get sick a lot, but after really prioritizing sleep and focusing on handwashing before eating and after travel, the frequency declined.
Anon says
He may just be unlucky. That said, he should still be able to watch the kids with a cough.
Anonymous says
Seriously. Day care was near my office, so I always had to watch the kids when I was home sick no matter how sick I was.
Anon says
I will tell you what multiple doctors have told me. Catching viruses constantly if you’re constantly exposed to viruses (e.g. anyone who has a young child) is not abnormal or evidence of immune deficiency or other health problem. What is concerning is if every virus takes you longer than two weeks to kick or develops into a secondary infection (bronchitis, strep, etc).
Signed, on my fifth virus this fall (despite indoor masking). Sigh…