Washable Workwear Wednesday: The Tati Pleat Dress

I need some perspective/feel good stories. My 13 yr old son has spent the better part of a year preparing for a year end culmination activity in his most favorite activity. He has improved considerably over the years, and there was lots of chatter about how well he was doing in the activity in our community. The activity is very public and visible to folks in our community, and objectively, the culmination performances went terribly, several times in a row (the activity has consecutive performances). Very poorly, and very much not up to how he can usually perform. Think – was given the lead in a play and forgot his lines several performances in a row, or did Odyssey of the Mind and failed to correctly build the easiest portion of his structure at back to back competitions.

He is, understandably, devastated. Asking really hard questions like whether he’ll get picked to do the activity next year (in all honesty, possibly/probably not). We’ve only been supportive and upbeat with him, and focusing on the things that did go well/letting him be upset about what didn’t go well.

My husband and I have always, always, always, always, always been the parents who did not focus on outcomes, only effort. We were both athletes and saw firsthand how difficult it is to have parents who focus on your results only. And we’ve watched his friends burn out based on how their parents interact with them. But I’m struggling with how badly this went. I am disappointed for him, and if I’m honest, a little embarrassed and sad at how he performed. I could really use some stories from people who have been through something similar, and how they either bounced back or what helped everyone move forward. Again, to be very clear, we’ve only been supportive in our discussions with him, but I could use some support myself from this community.

cross-posting from the main site bc i know some people don’t read there, for those of you who’ve had aging (but still healthy) parents move to live near you and your family – what boundaries have you set to make it work? my dad (76) just mentioned he would consider moving to our city which is a 3.5 hour flight from where he lives now. my mom passed away ~5 years ago. my dad has A LOT of friends where he currently lives, though he is the only one widowed (so far) which he is finding hard. he still works part-time, so this would potentially be a plan for when he stops working. I have two elementary-aged kids and a DH with a big job who travels a lot. he is not my favorite person to spend time with, though our relationship is fine. he is currently somewhat helpful with the kids – one kid really likes him and the other one seems to find him somewhat annoying (which i understand) my concern is that he would know no one here other than us, and I don’t have the bandwidth to commit to something. He is an extrovert and says he would join the JCC, take advantage of senior programming, etc. He has yet to do that where he currently lives, though I understand he has more of a fallback there. Our schedule is quite variable and we don’t get as much time as i’d like as a family of 4 due to DH’s work schedule. thoughts?

Just a rant — we got a new “smart” thermostat, which decided to turn off the A/C upstairs yesterday when it was 97 degrees out (and no one was home). I turned it back on when we got home around 5:30, but at 7:30 it was still 84 degrees in my 8 month old daughter’s room and she couldn’t sleep. We had to put her down to sleep in a pack n’ play in the kitchen while we waited for the upstairs to cool down. Luckily she transferred to her bed OK a few hours later, but it was so annoying.

Gut check– how weird is it that the kids and I sleep on the floor fairly often? They have proper beds. But for various reasons I’ve been sleeping in the nursery a lot lately and they usually both want to be full-body snuggled right next to me.