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Emma says
Paging OctoberMoms – I missed your comment yesterday but would love to hear how other expecting moms on this board are doing!
Yesterday was my 20 week ultrasound (I’m actually 22 weeks) and the first one that took place at the hospital instead of my friendly OBGYN office. I’m signed up at this hospital because my doctor is affiliated with them, it’s brand new and supposedly one of the best in our city, and not far from our home. But… I didn’t love it? First, hospitals in general give me anxiety. Second, they were running more than an hour late. And third, I found everyone to be polite enough but not exactly warm. I get it, they do it a million times a day, but at the previous ultrasound the tech was so friendly and happy and it was such a moving experience, this time she just kind of robotically was like here are the feet, here are the kidneys, OK I’ll go get the doctor now. The baby is looking good, but apparently my placenta is low. The radiologist was like “well, it’ll probably resolve on its own, otherwise you’ll get a C-section. Bye!”. Of course this led me down a spiral of googling all kinds of horrible things and freaking out. I’m a little calmer today, but I can totally understand how people choose not to give birth in hospitals – I’m a firm believer in western medicine, but hospitals are just not happy places. Hoping this was just radiology and the actual maternity ward is friendlier.
anon says
I mean, she’s a professional doing her job and she isn’t required to be happy or smiley. This kind of rubs me like the people who always tell women to smile. If you have concerns about your placenta you can still ask your OB.
Emma says
Yeah that’s fair, and I don’t resent the tech personally, I just was kind of struck by the gloomy atmosphere at the hospital in general. And I’m meeting my OB next week so we can discuss more, but in the meantime I’m wondering if I’m supposed to be doing anything differently – I was doing spinning (previously cleared by the OB) and I’m signed up for a class today, but some people with low placentas seem to be on strict bed rest instructions, and I’m not sure if that’s not the case for me because it wasn’t that bad or if I’ll find out at my next appointment and should be avoiding all exercise in the meantime.
Anonymous says
On the flip side, I could not stand how cheerful my OB was throughout my difficult pregnancy. At the postpartum check-up she chirped “So you had a very healthy pregnancy!” I was like, whose chart are you reading, lady? I was on Zofran for nine months and now weigh less than I did when I got pregnant. Have a little sympathy.
Pogo says
I would have expected your OB to discuss the low lying placenta with you directly after the scan – that’s what mine did. I was put on pelvic rest (NOT bed rest) which just meant no running or s3x. Or I guess gymnastics or trampoline or anything else high-impact. Yoga and biking were fine.
Anon says
+1 this sounds like an OB issue.
Anonymous says
I don’t think the OB was there, since she had the ultrasound at the hospital.
Anon says
I absolutely hated having ultrasounds while pregnant. The ultrasound tech never said anything so I was always trying to guess what was going on based on their facial expression and it was stressful. I also found them physically kind of uncomfortable (even abdominal ones). My maternity ward experience was much better. Hoping that’s the case for you too.
Anonymous says
I thought ultrasound techs were supposed to avoid reacting or saying anything about what they saw on the screen other than “here’s a foot.” Their job is just to get a good picture for the doctor to interpret.
Anon says
Yeah I get that, I’m not criticizing them! I just found it insanely stressful not knowing anything official but still being able to see their facial expressions and unsaid reactions.
Octo(ber)Mom says
Sending all the hugs. We have a big baby, and I’m trying to remember that birth weight could be today different. The ultrasound really throws you for a loop!
It’s great you are experiencing a new environment. The exposure will prepare you for the unexpected! Hanging in there with you.
Emma says
Thanks! Our baby also is a little bigger than expected, but we’ll see how that evolves with time. Hope you’re having a good pregnancy – I’m feeling good otherwise, just got a little thrown yesterday.
Anon says
I had a complete previa at 22 weeks and it fully resolved by 30. Most do! Every provider has different bedside manor – not all will be warm and fuzzy. Most important thing to me always is that myself and baby are safe and getting best care – not how happy/friendly the medical professional is. Sound like you chose the best hospital given your options so be confident with your decision!
Emma says
That’s good to hear, thanks! I agree that ultimately what matters is the quality of the care, and to be fair the facilities did look very nice, clean and modern. I really love my OB and she’s not the warm and fuzzy kind, but she has a comforting no-nonsense presence and genuinely seems to care about her patients. I think yesterday was a busy day and they were going fast, but hopefully I can talk more at the OB appointment and get some perspective on this.
EDAnon says
No advice on the placenta. I also dislike hospitals. In my experience, most folks in ob are happy for you and it’s a good experience. They are excited about babies and making it happen. Different from the rest of the hospital.
I did all my non-birthing activities at clinics though. I found the clinic folks to be much warmer and friendlier than regular hospital people (except the EE where I have, oddly, had many positive experiences).
And I am not someone who thinks women should smile all the time but it is nice to have a tech who is excited about babies! And someone who cares about your experience. It’s okay to be disappointed that yours wasn’t what you’d hoped. I wouldn’t worry that the one person is indicative of the whole hospital.
Anon says
I wouldn’t draw any inferences from the personality of those working in radiology to mean anything about the maternity team.
I had one delivery (over labor day weekend pre-covid) where I was completely neglected. No one came into the room for hours and hours at a time. At one point the baby had been crowning for 3 hours (you could see the top of her head and her hair with each contraction but she wasn’t decending) and the OB hadn’t stopped in. At that point the nurse said “I’m going to refill your water.” And she left too. Eventually the nurse appeared with the OB, but by then the baby was in distress. It was awful. After delivery was just as bad. No nurses. I was never checked. Pain meds were never brought. My husband found our baby left unattended in a bassinet in the hallway after they’d taken her for her hearing test. No nurse to he found. This was the hospital with the best reputation in town.
The second time I gave birth within an hour of arriving. They were super warm and attentive. But the baby was also coming imminently. Overall it was a good experience. This hospital has a questionable reputation (though it was covered by our insurance).
I have friends who had the opposite experiences at both hospitals. It really just depends who is on shift at any specific point in time. It will be what it will be.
(I have zero doubt they were critically understaffed for the labor day delivery.)
AwayEmily says
That is terrible — I’m so sorry you had that experience.
EDAnon says
I am so sorry. That is terrible. I am glad your second experience was better.
Pogo says
This. Remember Kat’s original birth story way back when? I always think about that, how it’s this super prestigious NYC hospital and she was totally neglected – and how others had the totally opposite experience. It’s not right, but it does happen.
anonn says
Yeah I wouldn’t read too much into this one person either. In hospitals its pretty hammered into the techs that they cannot tell the patient anything about scans. In my experience the L&D nurses are the most friendly ones in the whole hospital. I did have some fears like you do, so I hired a doula both times and maybe that’s what made the nurses happy? She kind of took the weight off them because it was like I had brought this person who I was paying to ensure I had a good experience, and she also helped them out, like anticipating their needs, helping to move me, keeping my husband calm, keeping me motivated, helping me answer their questions. So maybe look into that?
Anonymous says
+1 for a doula who works well with the hospital staff. My doula had been an L&D nurse at our hospital, knew everyone, and was able to get me lots of reasonable things that would have been denied if she hadn’t been there. Example: When I arrived, the room with the tub was vacant but needed to be cleaned. I desperately wanted that tub because I was planning to go without an epidural. I asked if I could wait in triage until the room with the tub was ready. The hospital staff began to insist on immediately putting me in a room without a tub, but when the doula asked the answer magically became “yes.”
EDAnon says
My version of that is that I had a friend who was a nurse in the hospital (different part). She gave me tips and stopped in to see me. That helped, especially because I knew what was reasonable to request and how to do it.
Anon says
I was high risk (age mostly) and had to do all my scans at the MFM at the hospital. One of the drs told me in front of my husband that he couldn’t see everything because “well you are not exactly thin”. There was one dr that was very sweet, a woman who also had a baby at 40. But even she made a weird comment about me wearing nice shoes and look at that your ankles are not swollen! I felt like a freak of nature. And this is a large city where there are many older moms.
I think they get desensitized or something.
Same anon says
That said – I had a great experience actually giving birth. I had a c section scheduled and my anesthesiologist was an awesome and super upbeat and reassuring dr. That is the scary part of a c section for me – the needle! The birth was joyous and my dr thrilled for me. Even tho my daughter peed on her.
Despite all the c section horror stories I recovered faster than expected and did not need more than Tylenol. The nurses were great too.
Anonymous says
This is why it’s better for them not to make small talk or comments! The doctor who complimented you on your shoes and ankles probably meant well, even though it comes across as cringeworthy. The safest course of action is to say nothing at all to a pregnant woman that is remotely related to her pregnancy because whatever you say is bound to be offensive.
anon says
I don’t think you can read too much into this. It sounds like the ultrasound tech was doing her job, and part of that is being a biiit dispassionate. Any questions really need to be directed to your OB; I wouldn’t expect the radiologist to weigh in on any of that.
Anon says
I had twins when I was over 40, and so I saw the high risk OB. Every. Single. Time. the ultrasound tech would scan my girl twin and would be super happy/smiley/bubbly, and then would start scanning the boy twin and would immediately clam up. No more answered questions or sneak peaks….just “you’ll have to ask the doctor.” We would then sit there for 30 minutes waiting for the doctor to come in and let us know what was up. He did have a series of issues that all resolved themselves (and is now a very healthy, VERY active 3 year old), but man was it jarring. We got to the point where we expected it, even though we’d still be on high alert. On the other hand, we LOVED our hospital for delivery. In fact, we had to take a twin back for stitches, and we were remarking at how much we loved being there. Even the smells brought back good memories :)
Anonymous says
I am at 26 weeks and just moved across the country so I met my new doctor last week. They seemed good in reviews and such, but its so hard to know until you actually speak to them if you will click or not. She was great. Just the right level of enthusiasm for me. Took a weight off my mind. Now I just need to work out all the rest of this pregnancy and delivery stuff. I have no idea what I don’t know.
Mary Moo Cow says
My ob had an in-house tech so I can’t speak to that, but I had a weirdly placed umbilical cord with one baby and placenta previa with another. Both resolved, if that makes you feel better. (I did have to have a c-section because she was transverse, and I had *feelings* about it when I first discussed it with my doctor, but ultimately made peace with it.)
Anon says
I’m looking for a new diaper backpack. The only requirement is that it has good back support and must be light. It seems like I need to just look for an actual backpack, rather than one marketed for holding diapers.
Any recs for either backpacks to use as a diaper bag or actual diaper bag? Budget is $200max.
I also don’t care if it’s ugly! Function > looks
anon says
All the new moms around my area carry those Land backpacks. They’re cute and appear lightweight.
Anonymous says
Maybe look for a small hiking backpack?I might not be understanding your request but I don’t think regular backpacks have any back support. What are you hauling and where are your going that your diaper bag needs back support? I’ve worn one of my twins and the skip hop full of supplies for four hours and not had any problems (also I’m old).
Anonymous says
I would not recommend a hiking daypack. They don’t stand up well on their own and are not designed for getting things in and out conveniently.
Anon says
Bingo! I think I’m looking for a hiking backpack, which I guess is what I was referring to. Something with sturdier straps and maybe even a chest strap.
I am a chronic migraine sufferer and get tension headaches from carrying a small crossbody with just my phone and keys, and I definitely can’t baby wear for more than a few minutes so I’m amazed you were able to carry your baby and diaper bag for four hours! (which may be part of the issue and I just may not be able to find something that works for me, but I’d like to try). I have a toddler and a baby on the way, so looking for a diaper bag I can wear on my back with some semblance of support even if it’s for the few minutes it takes me to schlep the kids out the door to our car.
Anonymous says
Migraines are the worst, sorry. So in your case what I might try is getting a “fancy” stroller or a double stroller and store it in my car. Load the kids in, put their stuff in the bottom for transport. Fwiw I feel like having a baby and a toddler might be harder than having twins. When I’m transporting my twins alone people always offer to help me. I feel like we’re less accommodating to moms with small kids of varying ages, but I could be biased: my oldest is 5.
OP says
Also…my toddler was a pandemic baby so we rarely left the house when he was in his “we need ten diapers and four changes of clothing and a million bottles because I will poop at least four times in one hour” phase, so our current flimsy diaper bag somehow worked for us until now.
Anonymous says
My sympathies. I also get migraines.
Not sure if you’ve tried anything of the kind, but I got huge benefits from some PT on my back/shoulders and dry needling for some insanely knotted muscles. I still get migraines of course, but nowhere near as often, and not triggered simply by something poking my shoulder wrong.
Anonymous says
If babywearing for a few minutes is a problem, I don’t think a backpack is the answer. A stroller seems like the better way to handle it. Or a wheeled bag, cart, or wagon.
Anon says
Osprey has “women-specific” fit backpacks, which maybe would provide you the best support. Maybe something like this, the Tempest 9: https://www.osprey.com/us/en/product/tempest-9-TEMPEST9S21_262.html. Or you could try a waist pack, the Tempest 6: https://www.osprey.com/us/en/product/tempest-6-TEMPEST6S21_266.html. Waist pack might work well for you, actually, although you would only be able carry the necessities.
Anon says
I wonder if a chest and a waist strap would be helpful? My dad has one of those super light REI backpacks for day hiking that has both.
Anonymous says
I got an llbean backpack, not one of the school ones but it does have a light chest strap and waist strap. Very lightweight. I also get migraines and hate even heavy necklaces. Having any weight on my shoulder/neck can give me a sore neck which can (but doesn’t always) trigger migraines.
Anonymous says
I have a Skip Hop backpack that I’ve been happy with. Looks like this is the closest to what I have:
https://www.skiphop.com/skiphop-diaper-bags/V_200752.html
summeranon says
I need some beach tips/recommendations/tricks. As part of an immigrant fam with limited resources, I did not grow up really ever going to the beach (maybe once with some friends, but after sand-castle age). We live on the east coast and I want to do lots of beach trips, as it seems to be the one place my neurodiverse 3.5 year old is focused and relatively calm. What do we need for us to “be prepared” and to have fun on beach day trips (other than essentials, towel, sunscreen, swimsuits)? Do we get a wagon or a cooler?
Anonymous says
Our beach doesn’t allow food so we always pack a cooler with sandwiches, chips, and fruit to return to at lunch. The big thing you need is shade it is not safe to sit out in the sun.
Anon says
It depends a lot on how far you’ll have to walk to get to the beach and how long you plan to stay. We drive basically right up to the beach and usually only stay for 2-3 hours so we’ve never brought a wagon or a cooler. I can see wanting these things if we stayed longer, but my 4 year old still doesn’t have the attention span to be at the beach all day.
Anonymous says
I love the beach! So, this may depend on your resources, but I find that staying super close to the beach or directly on it makes our trips the most fun, because it is very easy to run inside for bathroom, things you forgot, naps, etc. We break our beach days up into morning and afternoon, to avoid the sunniest part of the day and the crowds. So morning we take out beach chairs and umbrella (Costco has pretty good prices on these, renting is easy too), snack, towels, puddle jumpers depending on swimming ability, and toys. Mostly all my kids need are a bucket and shovel, but a small inflatable pool can be fun too, and great for babies. Kids are wearing rash guards and sunscreen. Play for awhile, then inside for lunch (usually just leaving most of our stuff on the beach) and quiet time during the heat of the day, then back out for the afternoon. We don’t use a wagon or cooler, but I could see those being handy if you are farther away than a block or two.
As as side note can I tell you how much I hate that people get up at the crack of dawn to “reserve” their spots on the beach? It’s so annoying going out there and being surrounded by people’s stuff that isn’t being used until a solid 3-4 hours later. Like I’m glad this empty chair row has a great view of my kids swimming but it would be really nice if I could have that view since we’re the only people out here.
Anonymous says
Um, you realize that’s no different than you leaving your stuff on the beach in the middle of the day, right?
Mary Moo Cow says
I would say yes to a wagon to haul all the gear and a cooler for snacks and cold drinks. I would also add some sand toys and a shade (pop-up tent, umbrella, etc.) The Surfer Due toys are fun to watch and don’t require you to get too deep in the water. Fancy beach chairs with straps so you can wear them back pack style are handy. Low expectations and lots of snacks and drinks go a long way.
Spirograph says
We spend at least one week at the beach each summer and usually go for the whole day, like 9-3 or 4. I give a hearty yes to a wagon and a cooler. We use a folding Radioflyer wagon. It’s hard to pull on sand, but it fits nicely in the trunk of the car and is easier than hauling everything in a bunch of beach bags. There are beach wagons with giant tires that are easier, but we had our wagon anyway and it’s OK. We bring a SMALL cooler and/or a soft-sided insulated bag (these go in the wagon, usually, or we carry with a shoulder strap. not the giant coolers that you pull behind you) or two with snacks and water (and sometimes adult beverages). I like PB&J for lunch on the beach, and individual bags of chips/crackers/pretzels, granola bars, or fruitsnacks. That way if a kid puts a sandy hand in their bag, everyone else’s food is still fine.
I like beach chairs and an umbrellas, but if you’re happy just hanging out on a towel, they’re not really necessary. The beach we go to has rentals, and it’s worth it to me — I get an umbrella bigger than I would carry along for myself, someone else does all the set-up, and I don’t have to store all that sandy stuff the rest of the year.
I would add a cost guard-approved PFD for your child to the essentials list. Beach toys are consumables IMO, they will get lost or broken. You can just buy a bucket of sandcastle equipment at Target or one of the shops along a boardwalk (I find they last about a year between beach and dirt-digging back at home). Boogie boards may be fun once your kid gets a little older. We like having a couple of “good” sand shovels with metal shovel heads and longer wooden handles to dig moats — we always make a game of seeing how long our sea wall holds when the tide comes in.
anon says
A pop up tent and beach chairs. Pay for solid sand toys (I like Melissa and doug) and not drugstore/grocery stuff that always breaks. A really good cooler, possibly different sizes (a smaller one for half day and a big one for full day). A wagon to carry all of this stuff around :) – a beach wagon is worth the investment.
Meal Planning says
I don’t know that we’ve had this post in a minute – apologies if we had – talk to me about mealplanning for quick meals with kids. How you structure your week and any favorite go to dishes? Easy recipes? I need help! Trying to get out of a rut. My kids have no allergies and eat most things, so the problem is us, not them!
AwayEmily says
I’m always up for another one of these threads, I inevitably learn a lot. Over the last year we have become substantially more structured (boring?), partly because my husband was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes so the range of what he can eat became much smaller. A side benefit is that my life is so. much. easier. For 4/5 nights a week we do the exact same thing every week. So, I guess here’s a good menu if you are diabetic/Paleo/keto!
Sunday: kids have nuggets while watching a movie, we make a big pot of soup or a Thai curry for the week’s lunches.
Monday: sheet pan salmon and roasted vegetables (we try to vary the spices/veg type)
Tuesday: grain bowl with a protein (deconstructed for kids)
Wednesday: Wild card: kofta bowl/salmon burgers/frittata/beans & vegetables/nicoise salad
Thursday: Taco bowls
Friday: takeout (usually pizza picnic in the park with friends, then Indian for us later on)
My kids sound pickier than yours so we while they get some of what we are having, we often supplement with hot dogs or pasta.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We have a similar schedule and also stick to basically the same meals every week. Our menu is not that interesting as the kids eat limited foods but:
Su: takeout and movie night
M: either salmon and rice or chicken and salad – kids end up with chicken sticks or fish sticks
Tu: taco night or beyond burgers
W and Th: freshly meals for us, kids get some sort of pasta or pb&j and fruits and veg sides (fruit usually eaten, veg so so)
F: takeout
Sa: salmon and rice/dumplings
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
+1 to the rut! I never really serve veggies on the side, they tend to be part of the meal. Fruit is always a side. This has changed as we’ve been busy/social on Sundays lately but generally works as a good template.
Sundays (Usually) – Big pot of something (soup, stew, pasta, etc)
Mondays – Leftover from Sunday
Tuesday – Some type of rice/bean combo (Tex-Mex or Indian) + (tex-mex, Indian, etc.)
Wednesday – Leftover from Tuesday
Thursday – Quesadillas (great way to use leftovers)
Friday – Takeout of Adults choice, usually Pizza, Thai, or Chinese. If kids don’t like it, they get something quick, like mac-and-cheese with veggies, or frozen nuggets
Saturday – Wild Care – we usually grab lunch out, and dinner is always TBD
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Ugh typing too fast. No second () on Tuesday and wild card not care.
AwayEmily says
“Wild Care” sounds like a homeschooling curriculum.
Pogo says
This is very similar to our schedule and making me feel better about it. I’ll add we have naan pizzas and “breakfast for dinner” (egg scramble) in the rotation.
The adults eat almost exclusively meal delivery or something simple like bagged salad mix + protein of choice. The only nights we all eat the same thing are usually the salmon night.
AwayEmily says
Yeah, I also feel better seeing how many people make separate meals for their kids. The only night we regularly all eat the same thing is Taco Bowl night. Thank goodness for chips and guac.
Spirograph says
we have breakfast for dinner almost every time my husband isn’t home at dinnertime. He hates breakfast at non-breakfast time, but the kids love it and it’s quick and easy for me!
AwayEmily says
And it’s not only that my kids aren’t particularly adventurous, but ALSO that I am not willing to alter my own preferences just in the name of “all eating the same thing.” I really, really like eating a big salad for dinner. But my kids are never going to eat a giant bowl of salad for dinner. So rather than making a compromise meal that neither of us really likes, I get my big salad and they get a few salad components, which they largely ignore, plus nuggets or whatever. Win-win!
Anonymous says
I am either too tired or too lazy to make and clean up separate meals. I’d love to have a big salad for dinner, but unless I can figure out a variation on the salad components that the kid will eat (e.g., adults eat salad topped with chicken, kid eats chicken and carrot sticks), dinner is not going to be salad.
Anonymous says
Same re: too tired and lazy to clean up separate meals. I have salad for lunch every day, so I like something hot & heartier at dinner. I do eat much less starchy carbohydrates than my kids and husband do because I have a 40-year old’s metabolism… But my solution is to dump some spinach on my plate and put the meatballs on top rather than having spaghetti. Voila! Salad and still only one set of dishes to clean.
EP-er says
I just embrace the rut — It makes things easier! I love that I don’t have to think when I shop, and there is enough variety in the structure that we don’t get bored. We branch out more on weekends, depending on our plans & weather.
Meatless Monday – Pasta, salad, garlic bread
Taco Tuesday — turkey tacos/nachos/enchiladas
Wednesday — Chicken & rice: grilled/sheet pan/ tikka masala/etc
Thursday — Breakfast for Dinner: eggs/toast/fruit or crepes
Friday — Carry out
OP says
Ha, I should say our rut is take out and buitoni pasta at the moment, so that’s the impetus. We just moved and weren’t organized for a while. These are great! Keep them coming please!
Anne-on says
We do something similar. My formula is below:
Sunday: big hearty family meal in the winter (beef stew, brisket, chicken and dumplings, coq au vin) and grilled burgers/steaks/sausages in the summer
M: Crockpot dinner that will give me leftovers – chicken with salsa shredded for tacos/quesadillas, pulled pork, sloppy Joes
T: Leftovers
W: Pasta, sheet pan meal, and/or soup (something warm, cozy, and easy to make). Sheet pan meal is something like roasted pork loin with roasted veggies or marinated roasted chicken thighs, pasta is almost always red sauce with ground beef or pork, soup is chicken or beef chili, chicken soup, or black bean soup with nacho toppings
Th: Breakfast for dinner for kiddo, either adult takeout or adult dinner for the grownups (this is when I cook something with cheese/spice/fish as my kid doesn’t love those but will take a bite if he has ‘his’ main meal).
F: Pizza
S: Dinner out or family delivery
Anonymous says
Do you have a list of recipes you like? We use the app Paprika to store all our favorite recipes from various sources, and I also have a list on my phone divided into categories (pasta, casserole, slow cooker, etc). Every Thursday my husband and I discuss the week ahead, count how many meals we need, then decide what we want to have by looking at our master list of meals we like. Then I make the grocery list and shop Friday. We try to have a least one or two meals our kids will like but frankly don’t try that hard- the kids always get some of what we’re eating, but if they don’t like it they can have cheese sticks and fruit. I also have a folder in my email and in Paprika of “to try” where I save recipes that might look good.
Anne-on says
I gave in and signed up for the NY Times Cooking app, I highly recommend it, TONS of recipes and easily searchable.
Anonymous says
Here’s my formula – Main + Fruit + Veggie. Veggie is either salad or raw veggies 95% of the time that have been prewashed and cut early in the week (ideally Sunday late afternoon). Usually we all get to choose whether we want salad or raw veggies with dip. Fruit is fresh fruit – think apple slices, pear slices, sometimes pineapple or strawberries that I cut on Sunday. Typically it is something that is cut at dinnertime. For mains, we (usually I) cook every other night and mix it up between chicken dish, beef dish, vegetarian dish, fish, pork, etc. The 7th night is something easy or we go out. If I feel like we (typically kiddo) needs a grain with dinner, I’ll make her a piece of toast to go with it. She eats a lot of grains/carbs at other times of the day. So a week might look like this:
Sunday: grilled hamburgers, salad or raw veggies, cut strawberries
Monday: leftover hamburgers, salad or raw veggies, apple slices
Tuesday: red beans and rice, raw veggies or salad, cut strawberries
Wed: red beans and rice, raw veggies or salad, fresh pears
Thursday: grilled fish, salad, fruit, toast for kiddo or rice for all of us
Friday: pizza + movie night (frozen or takeout), salad
Saturday: out
Pogo says
Oh yeah our kids always get a fruit + veg side in addition to the main. We have those four compartment kid dishes and the main goes in the largest one, the fruit and veg in the two smaller ones, and the tiniest one gets the “treat” – dried fruit or a cookie.
Anon says
I don’t meal plan but I wish I had that skill. Instead I have four or five meals I know I can make without much thought and I know our toddler will eat. This works for me because my toxic trait is that I buy groceries multiple times a week rather than doing one haul.
1) pizza. I buy either the pizza crust in the bread section at Trader Joe’s or the frozen one there. I make meat sauce from tomato paste and tomato purée with oregano and add in spinach and mushrooms.
2) red sauce pasta with banza pasta. I sneak in veggies here.
3) a rotation of 2-3 Korean soups
4) Mediterranean inspired rice bowls with store bought pre made chicken + Greek yogurt + cucumbers + tomato + hummus + quinoa and whatever else. Toddler will only eat the Greek yogurt and quinoa but I am hopeful he will one day eat everything else. Exposure, right?
5) frozen dumplings from Chinatown.
OP says
Hahaha I have that toxic trait too. Solidarity.
AIMS says
I don’t even consider it a toxic trait. I don’t always like to eat things that keep well for a week. That’s not a bad thing.
AwayEmily says
We had that trait until the pandemic! That is what really got us to start meal planning — because we only wanted to go to the grocery store once a week, we were forced to actually figure out what we needed to eat.
Anon says
My husband does most of the cooking. I’m extremely sick of his recipes but don’t feel like cooking myself so I Kat deal with it. We have chicken and roasted vegetables twice, salmon and roasted veg once, pasta once and takeout/leftover the other three nights.
AIMS says
For a long time, we would have one big soup that the kids liked and a batch of meatballs for the kids. Eventually they got bored of it but it did ensure that they ate good, homemade food 3-4 days a week no matter what else.
Many variations are possible but the Japanese meatballs from one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbooks are easy and delicious, as are her turkey ones.
I’ve also made these turkey and rice ones – my grandma used to make them and my kids always like them: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/218493/melindas-porcupine-meatballs/
We also have some easy go-tos like homemade pizza (the Rao’s pizza sauce is amazing & you can let your kids do it themselves on anything from English muffins to bagels to naan bread, if you don’t have any actual pizza dough). Also I can’t recommend the Whole Foods frozen cheese tortellini enough – we always have a bag in the freezer for an easy dinner.
And the biggest key is lower your standards! I serve apple slices with chicken nuggets or pizza and it’s still a fruit serving. Or I just roast broccoli with olive oil and salt/pepper and let them dip it in ketchup, with pita and hummus.
Spirograph says
Our meal planning is heavily influenced by activities in the evenings (all these will drop in the summer, and I can’t wait!). It’s usually something along these lines:
M: Pasta/Italian usually mac & cheese, spaghetti & (frozen heat-and-eat) meatballs or Italian baked eggs with garlic bread + some kind of microwaved frozen veggies OR a sheetpan meal – baked parmesan gnocchi & asparagus has been a favorite this spring, and there’s another one with spiced chickpeas and chicken that all my kids like.
T: Taco Tuesday, black bean tacos or refried bean burritos with sliced bell peppers
W: Something Asian-inspired with rice (I love my rice cooker) beef and broccoli, bibimbap, tofu stirfry, and TJs fried rice + dumplings are standards
Th: Leftovers
F: Pizza
Sa: Grilled veggies & burgers/hot dogs if the weather is nice, or something in the crock pot (often make pulled pork or shredded chicken for sandwiches and then use leftovers for add’l taco filler on tuesday)
Su: Wild card, usually the most creative/time-intensive meal of the week.
I aim for at least 2 meatless meals per week, vegetables in every dinner (although they are often frozen ones on the side), and at least 3 meals that I know my picky eater will eat – tacos, pasta and pizza. She also will eat all the white rice, which has calories if not nutritional value!
Wild cards that are in regular rotation:
rotisserie chicken –> chicken tortellini soup (my husband’s family has a dinner tradition they call “French Canadian” which consists of grocery store rotisserie chicken, french fries and frozen peas, with brown gravy and/or vinegar over any/all of it.), so we eat that one night, then make stock with the bones and use that as the base for soup the next)
Baked potatoes with various topping options
Chicken paprikash with fresh nokedli/spatzle (this is a PITA to make, but delicious)
Country-style cube steak
DLC says
I meal plan on Sunday for the week, but I don’t prep ahead of time. I just focus on dinners that I can make quickly. I don’t really have a weekly formula: I just look at what activities I need to work around, and what is coming in our produce box.
Our desperation/ pantry dinners when plans fall through and we have no time (usuallu served with cut up carrots, cucumbers, fruit)
– breakfast sandwiches
– frozen tortellini w/ jarred red sauce
– dumplings/ pot stickers and green-beans
– box mac n cheese and hot dogs.
– quesadillas
– big pot of black beans in the InstantPot made in the morning. Eat with corn tortillas and avocados.
-leftovers
-snack dinner (like cold cuts, cheese, crackers,vefgies, hummus, pickles, cereal)
Anonymous says
I do the same; meal plan Sunday after shopping and since I have been WFH for years now I meal plan less frequently/less rigidly and frequently do a mini-shop mid-week. I had a busy work week and felt under the weather so my husband did virtually all of the meals and they are a bitore basic than usual. Four kids ages 3-11, we eat together every night and all eat the same. This week was:
-Sloppy Joes, with crunchy salad and steamed green beans;
-Roast Chicken (Smitten Kitchen’s Schmaltzy Chicken and Cabbage) with boiled carrots, and salad;
-Grilled sausages with purple baby potatoes and sweet potato, steamed broccoli;
– grilled chicken tossed in a mushroom cream sauce, served over rice with steamed broccoli and a large Crudité platter.
anon says
We’re going for potty training our 2.5 yo this weekend. Husband has covid so seems a good a time as any since he’s stuck in our guest room and its super hot out anyway. Its’ been about 4.5 years since we did this with my older one. I know we used the Oh Crap method but are fuzzy on the details. Can anyone remind me of the general idea? No pants the first day, underwear thereafter?
Boston Legal Eagle says
We did this at this time last year with our youngest! Nothing on the bottom the first day, and possibly the next day until kiddo knows to go to the potty. Also bring kiddo to the potty often throughout the day – maybe every hour or so. Then pants/shorts with no underwear. I think the book recommends doing this commando style for a week or so but our daycare wouldn’t allow that so he went in underwear and we just let them know that he was potty training. No major accidents over here, but it’s common to have accidents for the first few weeks.
Mary Moo Cow says
We used a similar method (Potty Training in 3 days) which was underwear only on the first day, sticker charts in the bathroom, lots and lots of water and goldfish to get create opportunities, no screens and stick close to kiddo, lots of cheering when they do go to the bathroom, and don’t get discouraged. Plan to stay inside the first day, and go outside if it is going well on the second and third days. When they return to childcare, pack lots of changes of clothes and communicate with the caregiver what’s happened, what’s worked. Good luck!
Anonymous says
I would not do this unless you had COVID immediately before your husband and are therefore not at risk of coming down with it over the weekend. I cannot think of many things worse than potty training while sick.
anon says
commando and PUSH FLUIDS the first few days until you get more “wins” than not. have potties everywhere and watch them like a hawk, put your phone away. Then pants/dresses but no underwear for a while until no accidents, and then underwear. underwear feels like diapers so it can make you backslide.
Pogo says
this. literally follow them around and at the first sight of a tinkle ON THE POTTY YOU GO! Like others we had to send him in underwear and pants after day 3, which was fine – the big backslide for us was pull-ups. Once we got daycare on board w/ no pullups he had a few accidents the first day but virtually none since.
Anonymous says
I guess this isn’t Oh Crap strictly, but I’m here to say if you don’t want go without underwear, we never had the kids go without and it was very successful for both very quickly. No way did I want bare bottoms on the furniture.
Disneyland says
Disneyland (not world) thoughts and tips, please. Going for a few days in late June. Has anyone gone recently? Our child is 4.
Thanks!
CCLA says
We just went earlier this month with our 3.5 and 5.5 yo – will you have park hopper passes, and are you staying walking distance to the parks? Will come back to this with some recs. It was magical.
CCLA says
Here are my main recs, forgive the novel. We had gone before for a single day with our oldest when she was 3, and this time opted to stay for the weekend so we would have more time. In retrospect, while we had an amazing time, 2 days in a row of full park days was probably a little much, even with an afternoon break, though the kids were not really cranky I think ideally next time I’d go for 3 days and take a hotel/pool/lounge day in the middle to break it up and make sure everyone is fresh.
-no stroller (ymmv, know your kid of course…we liked being nimble)
-if you’re staying walking distance, consider ducking back for an afternoon nap for the kid
-genie plus totally worth it BUT beware there aren’t a lot of rides 4 yos can do that are on it…still worth it
-everyone said dining had to be booked weeks in advance but I was able to book cancellations within a day or two for most meals, so if you check frequently if you want to find a table service meal which can be a nice break from the chaos
-rides popular with 3.5 yo: thunder railroad, teacups, carousel, astro orbiters, buzz lightyear, jungle cruise (really anything with a boat), and in dca the jelly fish, soarin, the inside out ride, and the scrambler style ride in cars land
-park hopper is annoying now because you can’t change parks until 1pm, but still nice to have. Dca is consistently less of a zoo than disneyland and has a lot to offer
-we noped out of anything with a line longer than 25 min other than twice for the bigger coasters…there is plenty to do
-100% on the bubble wands, those things were gold
Anon says
Yes, we took our 4 year old and 2 year old for the first time last month. We are local so we didn’t feel the need to go “all in” since we can easily take them back. That being said:
– Get Genie +. It’s a lifesaver in the afternoon when the lines get long.
– Bring a stroller. My 4 year old doesn’t usually use one anymore but the crowds overwhelmed her and there is a LOT of walking (we were there for about 7 hours and walked six miles, according to my phone).
– Get there before it opens so you can through security/the ticket line and be in the park when it opens at 8 AM to take advantage of the short lines in Fantasyland (which doesn’t really have any rides on Genie +). We cranked through four rides in the first two hours when lines were 15 minutes or less vs. 40+ minutes later in the day.
-Buy the $30 bubble wands you see everywhere. It’s highway robbery but they kept my kids entertained for an entire hour, just dancing and playing around in a quiet area in the shade while my husband and I got to sit down.
NYCer says
+1 to all of this, especially to Genie+ and getting there early. We have grandparents who are local-ish to Disneyland, so we also didn’t feel the need to see everything this trip, which makes it easier though.
FVNC says
We went in March with our not-quite-5 yr old and 8 yr old, and had a lot of fun! We went to the parks for three days, and had the park hopper passes with Genie +. Genie + is a must; regular lines were 45min wait minimum, which was fine for our older kid who could read her book, but not for our 4 yr old. We stayed in Newport Beach, which I really liked even though it meant a drive to the parks. The only tip I have in addition to all the other great info is that you can bring in any food you want — if I’d realized that, I’d have packed more substantial snacks and lunches for us. I found the food to be pretty mediocre (I mean, it’s a theme park, what did I expect). Otherwise, super fun experience — it’ll be hot and crowded and your kid will think it’s all magical.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Thanks for asking this and thanks everyone for the tips! We’re bringing our kids (who will be 6 and almost 4) in August. We’re familiar with the park, but not with kids. We’re doing 3 days – DL, CA, DL, with the genie pass and staying a 15 min walk away.
anon says
If you’re staying in Downtown Disney, consider doing a grocery run to get snacks and breakfast food. We did rope drop and ate granola bars and goldfish the first day because all the cafe lines were extremely long.
Anonymous says
Does anyone have a very young kid who has difficulty regulating emotions? My 15 month old foster has BIG feelings, especially when he doesn’t get his way: screaming, holding his breath, head butting, etc. I’m a foster mom so I’ve seen some…stuff, but this one looks like he will be staying so I’m looking for strategies to keep him safe and help him regulate his emotions. Just wondering if you have advice. TIA
AnonM says
Since it is getting nicer out, I’d try taking LO outside. Also I have found some kids do well with a big hug, others just want some space (but you still nearby). Good luck, it’s so hard to stay calm sometimes but sounds like it’s not your first rodeo.
Anon says
Sounds like you have some experience, so apologies if this advice is too basic, but…I’ve found that kids that young are basically babies and it helps to adjust expectations as such. With my first son, I would get so agitated by his big outbursts and wrapped up in thinking I needed a discipline strategy, etc. I ended up expecting way more from him than was appropriate and it made me spiral when my tactics “didn’t work”.
My third son is now 13 months and his big emotions have come out. But, I know he’s just a baby! I snuggle him or sit near him or scoop him up/distract him and continue on with the day. There’s no worrying about “spoiling” such a little guy and while boundaries are important (especially regarding safety) there’s no need for “discipline” or consequences or anything else so young. Just comfort him as best you can and let it roll off your back. It’s helped me to genuinely stay calm and take it in stride.
anon says
Your favorite toddler friendly resorts in the Caribbean or Cabo? Planning our first trip and would love to hear recs from the group. Ideally one with large-ish rooms (suites are a bonus). what was your favorite features/activities for the toddler? And if you used babysitting service how was that. Budget is up to $1200 a night
Anon says
At that price point, Beaches if you care about kid stuff.
We don’t use babysitting or kids’ clubs, so until kiddo was 3 or so we just chose resorts we thought we’d like as long as they allowed kids. It wasn’t until age 4 that we started actually paying attention to kid features.
Anon says
We haven’t yet been to a resort we loved with kids (we’re going to Beaches Turks and Caicos in December so I can report back on it then, it would be at the very top of your budget range though), but I’ve heard very good things about the Grand Velas chain in Mexico.
Anon says
What do you do when your kids are driving you up the wall insane. We’ve been stuck at home for 4/5 past weekends and are currently in the midst of a Covid quarantine (we all had Covid). I kind of feel like if i hear “mommy” one more time I’m going to explode and completely lose it. They’ve watched so much TV that even that doesn’t do much. Currently playing outside with water and it’s still bickering with each other and mommy, mommy, mommy. Help!!!!
Mary Moo Cow says
Ugh, water and outside are usually good tricks. Hand them off. Seriously. Do you have a partner who can handle it while you lock yourself in your room for even a half hour or insist that you do the grocery pick up or just drive around for half an hour? After bedtime, do something that is wholly solitary and only for yourself.
Pogo says
This is how I felt after our bout w/ COVID and some other health-related stuff at home. Sometimes there really isn’t any space for you between kids/work/illness, but I find that if I am able to sneak in time to vent to someone – friend, therapist, coworker – that can be helpful self care. Are you kids young enough you can load them in the stroller and push them around while you talk to a friend on the phone? That goes SUCH a long way for me. Just to feel seen and like I wasn’t answering someone’s 47th request for a snack prior to 9am.
AwayEmily says
Do they do audiobooks at all? Mine will often zone out to audiobook + coloring/drawing for awhile. If they’re younger, then try audiobooks of stories they already know.
Anonymous says
Go for a drive and put on a circle round story/audiobook or go for a hike somewhere very remote you won’t run into people (if that’s possible in your area). I’m solo parenting a lot and outside nature time moving is always my answer.
anon says
I had an egg retrieval yesterday and just found out only 3 eggs fertilized (of 5 retrieved). This is after having a cycle cancelled due to poor response. I’m 41 with diminished ovarian reserve, so none of this is really unexpected, but it’s really hard. I know the odds I end up with a genetically normal embryo at the end of this are basically zero.
To make it even more fun, I have a highly problematic employee (currently in a formal disciplinary process – we’re not in the US and due to local laws that is a very extended process that extends over months) who just told me she’s pregnant again at 44. Dealing with the issues she has caused is already literally the worst and most stressful part of my job right now, and now I have to figure out how to cover another mat leave for her (she just returned from leave for her second child 3 months ago) and deal with the increased liability associated with disciplinary action against an employee who happens to be pregnant and be an appropriately supportive boss, all while I’m wrecked over my own infertility.
Anonymous says
Sending you lots of love. I have been there. Much is being asked of you now. I hope much will be given soon.
Anon says
I’ve been there too. Sending you good feelings over the internet and hoping for you.
Anon says
That’s so tough. I’m so sorry. I also went through infertility when everyone else was easily getting pregnant and it can definitely feel lonely. Take it easy and do something nice for yourself this weekend. Will be sending you good vibes and prayers for your 3 eggs.
Pogo says
That is brutal. I am so sorry.
anon says
Oh, that is ROUGH. Take good care of yourself.
Aunt Jamesina says
I’m so sorry. Nothing like the sting of finding out about others’ pregnancies when you want it so much.
CCLA says
Also consider a very large fanny pack (belt bag? idk what the term is these days). I have a pretty sizeable one from camelbak that I used to use for day hikes when I had a lot of neck pain. It held a water bladder and epipens and snacks so was pretty legit space wise, and all the weight was on my hips!
CCLA says
nesting fail!
Aunt Jamesina says
Not sure if anybody will see this, but ProPublica is collecting information about prenantal genetic testing and issues with billing. I know people were discussing this issue the other day, you can share info in the link I’ll post below!
Aunt Jamesina says
https://www.propublica.org/getinvolved/have-you-had-an-experience-with-prenatal-genetic-testing-wed-like-to-hear-about-it-and-see-the-bill