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Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
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Kid/Family Sales
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Strollerstrike says
38 weeks pregnant with baby no. 2 and now my toddler is sick with a fever and we suspect Hand, Foot, Mouth. Hoping that he is better by the time baby makes her appereance but am still wondering: How do you bring a newborn home if an older sibling is sick? Do you make the sibling quarantine in their room? Things like hand, foot, mouth are contagious for weeks so I don’t know what the best approach would be.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Anon says
Longer term, I believe it’s mostly contagious via contact with contaminated surfaces and via feces. I would make sure anyone touching the baby has thoroughly washed hands (especially after toddler diaper changes). I would also make sure toddler doesn’t kiss baby for a week or two and does not touch baby without washing hands. Fortunately newborns don’t move… so they won’t get into any contaminated surfaces like toys.
Good luck and congrats!
TheElms says
Ugh I’m sorry. DD2 was a late February baby so peak covid/cold/flu/rsv season. It wasn’t realistic for DD1 (then 2, almost 3) to quarantine so I tended to quarantine with me and the baby. With my first I spent a lot of time parked on the couch nursing, with my second I moved that either to our bedroom or the nursery. It worked because DD1 was in part time preschool and had a nanny so I could be relatively hands off with her during the day and my husband took over her bedtime and morning routine (which is what we had prepped her for and she has a preference for my husband anyways).
But ymmv, it was isolating and hard for me because I could have used some more help myself (had a c-section), but it kept DD2 healthy as a newborn and that was my priority. We did end up getting a night nanny a few times a week because DD2 was colicky and needed to be held for all naps if they were going to happen, so I was pretty much trapped in a couple rooms of the house holding her for most of the day. That was only bearable if I could get a solid 6 hours of sleep a few times a week. After the first 2 months we relaxed a lot and it got a lot easier because I had some help. The downside was that DD2 definitely got more colds than DD1 (she generally is just more susceptible and at 15 months still gets the most colds in the family), but DD2 has had fewer ear infections than DD1 had and no flu/rsv.
Anonymous says
That’s such a waste. Why martyr yourself like this?
Anonymous says
That’s basically new parenthood whether or not you are trying to avoid giving the baby a cold. You are pretty much stuck in a room with them feeding and holding them 24/7 no matter what.
TheElms says
I’m generally on the more cautious end of the scale. Covid was a factor and it was before my then 2 year old could be vaccinated, and it was a brutal RSV season. A few friends’ newborns got RSV and it was miserable and terrifying. Also, I really, really, really wanted to avoid the situation where my less than 8 week old spiked a fever and needed an ER visit during Covid. Pediatric units in my city were at capacity and wait times to be seen were regularly 8+ hours. And I knew I only planned to be really cautious for 2 months. But I agree what I did may not be the right choice for everyone. That said I had a colicky baby and no matter what I did it was going to be pretty miserable at times.
Anon says
I don’t think it’s martyr-ing. I know several people who had babies last fall and tried to quarantine when their older kids got sick, and I’m pretty sure the 2021-22 season was worse for both RSV and Covid than last year.
Anonymous says
HFM isn’t contagious for weeks? You can go back to day care in a couple days. You just deal. No you don’t lock your other child away. You make them wash their hands before touching baby and otherwise carry on. I mean do something different if it’s cholera but otherwise chill.
Anony says
Mayo Clinic: ”Your child is most contagious during the first week of having hand-foot-and-mouth disease. But the virus can remain in the body for weeks after the symptoms go away. That means your child still can infect others“
Kids go back to daycare because it is so common and HFM is usually not dangerous only annoying. Different with a newborn though I imagine.
Anonymous says
Oh it TOTALLY is contagious for weeks. We had some crazy outbreaks this past year and all the schools out out a lot of info. I’m talking about middle school and high school outbreaks too, not just preschool, kids bringing it to the outdoor camping week because they thought they were no longer contagious, etc.
AwayEmily says
A lot of handwashing and “give the baby some space.” It’ll be fine — we brought our last one home during the covid/flu/RSV surge in the winter, and she had two older siblings in two different schools, so I totally get the worries. It all turned out okay.
Anon says
I lived this. We mostly divided and conquered, but the toddler wasn’t that interested in the baby so even in the same room the toddler was running laps while I sat in a chair with the baby. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. Let your spouse do the toddler wrangling.
Ugh sorry says
Definitely ask your pediatrician.
Making the older sibling quarantine seems like a recipe for a lot of struggles and resentment. Try to keep the older kiddo away from the baby but don’t look kiddo away. If it’s a serious enough illness (RSV, actual flu) I’d take the baby into a bedroom and spend most of my time in there with him/her. But otherwise I would just try to keep them apart as much as you can and otherwise try not to worry about it.
Vicky Austin says
Good morning! Can we talk morning routines on busy weekdays? We are still getting into the swing of things with me back to work + nanny coming and I would love to hear how the rest of y’all get it all done.
Anonymous says
Do you have an early bird or a night owl? If you have a night owl, let them stay up later and sleep later so you can get yourself mostly ready while baby is still sleeping. Let the nanny do as much of the morning routine as possible. Prep bottles and pump parts, if using, the night before.
Cb says
We’re both WFH most days lately, which makes things easier but we divide and conquer – husband is responsible for preparation, I’m responsible for delivery. On days he’s in the office and I’m solo, he tries to get kid started on breakfast before leaving. On days I’m travelling, I have no idea what happens but everyone seems to get to breakfast on time.
We wake up at 6:30, husband goes to feed the cat, make tea, use the loo, and comes up to find me fast asleep at 6:40. We wake up kid, and cuddle for a few minutes before realising it’s late, and hurrying him to get dressed. His uniforms are in a basket in our room so there’s no risk of toy distractions.
Husband and kid go downstairs and get breakfast, and I come down when kid is brushing his teeth, we both put shoes on and get out on our bikes, for at 7:40 departure, 8:00 dropoff. Husband starts work at 8. I’m back by 8:30 (I normally add a few miles onto the school run).
Currently we’re crawling across the end of year finish line (6 more school days) so often are a bit slower in the AM.
Anon says
The biggest thing for me is the realization I can’t get it all done on all days. Tuesdays and Thursdays I’m able to leave work a little earlier so those are the home made meal, bath, no screen time days. Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays are the toddler eats in front of the screen while parents frantically run around and then have leftovers after bedtime while the laundry is running days.
*will be different things with a baby, but I stand by the principal
Cb says
Yep, we do baths every other day.
I’m strict on screens when I’m home, but I suspect there’s more TV + lazy dinner when I’m travelling under daddy rules.
Anon says
I’m not trying to re-ignite any flames, and this could be a cultural norm, too — for me, a daily bath (barring any skin/health issues) is a baseline cleanliness thing and also can help with germ avoidance, help relax kid for better sleep, etc. This no daily bath thing I will never understand and I only see it written about as a time-savings tip here and with my White friends.
Anonymous says
It’s definitely cultural. Especially for a child who doesn’t really have body odor yet, a daily bath is optional. Nothing wrong with it if it helps relax the kid, but its not unhygienic to bath less often depending on what you did that day. (It’s also not that big a deal to be stinky for a day if you’re not going anywhere and it doesn’t bother you. Skin oils, sweat, and a bit of dirt aren’t actually harmful)
Anon says
We don’t do daily baths. Every other or every third day, depending on need and timing. Also I bathe the 2.5 year old in the morning right after she wakes up, and the baby whenever is convenient during the day, so there’s no “relaxing for sleep” happening with our baths anyway.
Anon says
Anon at 12:06 PM here. Again, posting for discourse because I find it so interesting and different – no flames being thrown. Sharing this here because I know this group runs thoughtful and progressive.
I’ve literally never thought about stinkyness for day being “okay”. Obviously exceptions – skin conditions, someone is just too sick to get out of bed, power outage/water isn’t on, etc.
There’s some inherent privileges in this discussion (bathtime). It is just very ingrained to me to shower daily and make sure my kids take a daily bath as well, and as I made friends with other parents I have been surprised at the approach regarding bath for folks kids and how there is usually a strong cultural approach.
Growing up – many of my non-White peers and I were constantly made fun of being “smelly” (e.g. “EW! You smell like curry/beans/fish/spices”) growing up because the food often cooked in our homes were more fragrant and spicy than your standard White American home in the early 90’s. Thankfully, things have changed! You put this lived experience together with the history of colonization and/or slavery in many countries where dark skin was considered “less than” and “dirty” and it’s pretty clear to see where the cultural norms in different places are coming from.
PLB says
+1
Cb says
Yeah, I think there is definitely privilege here that we should acknowledge. I live in a 97% white country, but class comes into it as well. I know I have a lot of privilege to send my kid to school vaguely grubby (he leaves mostly clean, he gets muddy en route) without worries of neglect/judgement because he’s an obviously middle class kid. I notice that my middle class pals are much more likely to send their kids in second hand uniforms, our kids tend to be less polished, muddier etc and scruffy is definitely a privilege. The kids from less well off backgrounds tend to be in the nicer shoes, gelled hair etc. Sane phenomenon in babyhood, the fancier the pram, the younger the mum.
Anon says
It’s definitely cultural to a degree, but it also depends on health conditions. Our pediatrician advised limiting baths to once or twice a week because our child was prone to eczema.
Anon says
100% – this is why I caveated with this – I think that’s a different situation.
Anon says
Interesting… I would have thought the opposite, that daily bathing is a WASP thing and immigrants and non-whites are more likely to bathe less often. Speaking globally, it’s a great privilege to have consistent access to hot water (although most people in the US do). I’m white but from an immigrant culture where daily bathing of young children is not the norm, and my parents didn’t bathe us very often, and I do the same thing.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
That’s also assuming that one needs hot water to bathe – obviously it’s way preferable, I do not enjoy cold showers even when it is 100+ degrees out – but in plenty of countries where hot water access isn’t plentiful (or you have to wait for the hot water heater to “warm up” because it isn’t automatic) people are bathing in cold water. Ask me how I know.
Anon says
That’s true, but I also think in countries where you don’t have hot water you’re less likely to bathe daily? At least that was my family’s experience. But I’m sure there is some variation across cultures and it depends on where you live. Daily bathing seems more important in tropical places where you sweat a lot.
Anonymous says
I don’t get the no-bath smugness either. My kids come home from day care and school absolutely filthy, and a lot of days they are wearing toxic insect repellent that needs to be washed off.
Anon says
I don’t think there’s any “no bath smugness.” People who bathe their kids less than once a day seem to have a “you do you” approach to it. It’s the people who bathe daily who act horrified that some people don’t do that.
That said, I would absolutely bathe a kid on any day they wore inspect repellent, but my kids wear that very infrequently (pretty much only for overnight camping).
Anonymous says
Yeah, baths any day they’re wearing repellent or a lot of sunscreen. But if we’ve mostly been home all day and no one is stinky or needs hair washed, another day won’t hurt us. We can always rinse off in the morning if it turns out we need it then.
The other thing that I think matters is how humid/hot it is. I shower daily when its hot and humid and less often when its cool or dry hot.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I bathe my kids daily, and it’s really confounding (not terrifying, I promise) to me why people don’t do this for their kids where hot water is plentiful (barring a ped telling you not to due to skin issues). I’m also a BIPOC from an immigrant family.
Maybe my cultural norms and the fact I live in a subtropical climate (lots of sunscreen and bug spray) with kids that seem to be magnets for dirt and weird bodily crust (but they are very cute!) makes it a non-negotiable for me.
Anonymous says
I would definitely bathe daily if I was in a subtropical climate with sunscreen and bug spray.
Anonymous says
I also am influenced by a period of depression where having to shower felt like such an obstacle to my day that I just did nothing. Accepting that I was allowed to leave the house if I showered yesterday and wasn’t actively stinky meant that I actually left the house. And leaving the house more regularly was an important step towards getting me out of that low point.
GCA says
Prep as much as possible the night before – bottles, pump, parts and all. If you are heading in to the office, put on your work clothes and then throw on an old t-shirt over everything till you’re ready to leave, so you don’t have to change all your clothes if there’s a spit-up or blowout.
and…assuming nanny (stage-whispers) the baby can stay in their pajamas all day – they’re a baby…
GCA says
*assuming nanny will be at home most of the day with a small baby, that is
Vicky Austin says
Well, this morning his usual AM dirty diaper became a blowout, necessitating a change of clothes, but I take your point!
Anon says
Ehh, my baby stayed in pajamas all day for daycare too. They’re babies! We stopped around the time she started pulling up to stand.
Anonymous says
Same here. My kid started daycare in January at 4 mos, so PJs were warm and easy for us.
Anon says
Haha but don’t take your baby outside in pajamas or someone will think you’re depressed!
Anonymous says
The only reason we don’t leave baby in pajamas to go out is its cold in her room at night but over 100degrees out in the day. So she wears cosy jammies to bed and a sleeveless onesie with shorts to go out. Plus her sun hat.
TheElms says
We are night owls and we do as much as possible the night before – so for us that means backpack for the 4 year old for camp is packed, lunch is made, and 4 year old sleeps in her clothes (unless she needs to wear a swimsuit for camp that day). And after that DH and I divide and conquer and the nanny helps. DH largely gets the 4 year old ready, I largely get the 15 month old ready. Also, I have to get myself ready before the family wakes up or its a disaster. Morning looks generally like this:
7:15am – I’m up, get myself ready
7:45-8 – 4 year old wakes up and comes and wakes her dad up; we all chat for a minute; I go downstairs to get milk for 4 year old and bottle for 15 month old, let the dog out
8 – nanny arrives and I tell her about anything unusual for that day; DH is generally playing with 4 year old; I head back up to wake up the 15 month old if she’s not up and give her a bottle and get her dressed for the day. I’m usually done around 8:20.
8:05-8:30 – Nanny/DH get 4 year old her breakfast and help her get ready (take off pull up, put on swimsuit if needed, brush hair, brush teeth, put her lunch and snacks in her backpack). Our nanny also empties the dishwasher during this time, which I love. Sometime around 8:20 I come downstairs and hand off the 15 month old to our nanny.
8:20-8:30 ish, generally DH and I are just playing with kids or helping with whatever needs to happen that hasn’t happened yet. Or if I need to go to the office (3ish days a week) I cut this short a bit and get my work bag and try to head to the car at 8:30. Sometimes I need to go back upstairs and finish drying my hair (if a kid wakes up early or I hit snooze on my alarm) Around 8:30 DH goes to get ready.
8:45 – Nanny drops 4 year old off at camp with 15 month old in tow.
Full disclosure we are often running late. If I don’t have anything pressing, I stay and play until 8:45 and then leave for work or if I’m not going into the office that day I spend some of the time I would spend driving playing. I always leave for work by 8:45am. It takes me 35 minutes driving to get to work, a bit longer if traffic is bad. So even on a day I’m running late and there is worse than usual traffic I’m at my desk at 9:30. I grab breakfast at the office.
Anon says
With an infant and a nanny, we handed a lot of the morning routine off to the nanny. I nursed in the morning but otherwise don’t recall doing a whole lot other than getting myself ready.
Now with one 5 year old, she gets screen time in the morning while she eats. Daycare provides meals and snacks so there isn’t a lot to prep other than her weekly bedding bag and her bag for the weekly water day, which we do the night before. She usually wakes up between 7:30 and 8 and we leave for school between 8:30 and 9. If she wakes up before 7 am, she has to play quietly in her room until 7 and not come get us.
Clementine says
The biggest thing for me is to shower the night before (I much prefer a morning shower but it works best) and be realistic about how long things take.
In my mind, I can be awake at 645, downstairs at 7 with kids dressed, and ready to walk out at 730. Realistically, I need 30 more minutes than that.
Get really boring. Like, I started eating yogurt and a piece of fruit for breakfast and bringing a frozen meal because I didn’t have to think about it and could grab it and go. Similarly, I got a bunch of pumping friendly tops and wore those plus pants daily for… a long time.
It doesn’t get easier but you get better at it.
Anon says
i also prep as much as possible the night before and shower at night. i can’t recall what your feeding situation is for the baby in terms of formula vs. breastmilk, but think if there is anything you can ask the nanny to do before leaving that can help you have easier mornings. this might sound really silly, but DH and I used to fight about whose turn it was to prep the morning bottles for our twins (we were feeding both brst milk and formula, but all from a bottle) and asking the nanny to just prep it for us before she left for the day helped make things easier
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I love these requests – but to be very fair it’s so much different now (kids are 5.5 and 2.5) than when either of my kids were babies. I think it’s actually easier and more simple as they get older and eating “normal” food – even with tantrums/whining – something to keep in mind.
For non WFH days, I need everything packed up the night before – during baby days, that included me making the bottles (when pumping/nursing), taking pump parts out of the sanitizer and packing them up, etc.
Now on “normal” weekdays where DH is home (not on travel), we all typically get up around 6:30-45. I brush my teeth, moisturize, and get kids ready (change clothes/ablutions/diaper change/brush teeth/comb hair) while still in my robe as I work from home most of the week. DH showers and gets ready for the office, while bouncing in/out of kids’ rooms to help. I start them on breakfast (no options – basically a template of 2-3 things I keep on a cadence in my brain), and typically DH and I tag-team on coffee, emptying dishwasher, etc. DH takes the dog out for a spin around the block, I get shoes on toddler, and then they load up in DH’s car anywhere between 7:30-7:45 AM for preschool/summer camp. Whatever kids needed for the day (e.g. swim clothes + towel for splash day) has been packed the night before.
This is currently one drop-off; I expect it to change when DS #1 starts public kinder (~1 mile away but in the opposite direction of current preschool) in the Fall which starts at 7:30, which will require us to be out the door at 7:15 – a big shift for us! We may end up carpooling with neighbors for a few days a week.
I do a quick clean up of the kitchen, change into WFH clothes, and aim to start the day by 8 AM.
Honestly? says
3 kids under 5 and our routine involves lots of stalling + sibling fighting + tears (sometimes mine) + refusal to put on shoes + me being late every day of my life. I arrive at work feeling like I’ve lived 5 lives already. It’s fun.
Anon says
I’m up at 5. Baby will wake up between 5 and 7 (and there’s no telling when), so between 5 and 7 I will do the following things in some order: nurse baby and put back in crib, pump 10 minutes for freezer stash, workout, shower, feed dog, empty dishwasher, eat “first breakfast” (a protein bar that I scarf immediately after my workout).
2.5 year old will wake up 730ish. Go in and get her, read, bathe if bath morning. Start breakfast. Get baby back out of crib if he wakes up again but often he sleeps until 930ish.
Nanny arrives at 9am. Husband walks dog before he leaves for work. He has an early start in the summer bc of student interns (research tech role) so he basically does no morning childcare during the week in summer, and makes up for it in evening/on weekends.
Vicky Austin says
I’m naturally a night owl and have been trying to do things like dishwasher, clean pump parts, etc, between putting baby down and going to bed myself. But there are some things that *have* to be done in the AM, like feeding dog, husband’s shower (he is adamantly not a night showerer), etc. Maybe I should just get to bed as early as I possibly can and embrace the early wakeup? Or try a dream feed during the longer stretch we usually get at the beginning of the night to push his usual 2-3 am wakeup a bit forward and keep him sleeping through the adults-getting-up hours?
Anon says
we had our nanny empty the dishwasher while the baby napped, and DH was in charge of cleaning my pump parts when not traveling
Anon says
I’m newly solo with a 2-year old. We’re so lucky to have pretty chill mornings and a nanny that comes to our house. This will all change when DS starts pre-school in October. I usually wake up when DS wakes up. The biggest challenge of my morning is getting shoes and jacket on DS and wrangle him to go out with dog. He enjoys walking the dog most of the time, but gets very distracted and likes to pick up and inspect every rock and pinecone along the way. Then we have breakfast and coffee (he sometimes gets a babyccino – steamed milk with cinnamon, while I have my latte). It’s my favorite part of the day. He’s usually still in jammies and having breakfast when the nanny arrives. I hand him over to the nanny and quickly get ready for work if I’m going to the office, or head up to my home office (have to close the door otherwise toddler likes to join me for my conference calls). Being solo there are small margins for anything to go wrong (sick dog, sick kid, etc.) but we manage.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
I totally get this when walking the dog with my toddler! Recently mine picked up an earthworm.
The latte/babyccino sounds delightful; it’d easily be my favorite part of the day.
Good luck on this new chapter – this community (if you’re new – FYI) is great, and I hope you share any questions or updates as you go along.
Anonymous says
I recently went back to work and have a toddler and 6 month old but we use daycare. Some tips:
– I load and start the dishwasher the minute I get home with the kids after daycare. That way the bottles are clean early evening and once it’s done running (usually during toddler bath after baby is asleep) I make all of the bottles and put in fridge.
– I wear nursing friendly tops and pants every single day. Once I help my husband pack the kids in the car and he leaves to take them to daycare, I get dressed.
– I pack everything for myself the night before except pump parts. My husband washes those after my before bed pump and they dry overnight.
– We keep a dry erase board in the kitchen with a list of all food that’s available and suitable for the baby in the fridge. We wash baby’s bowl and silicone bib in the daily dishwasher run.
– my husband and I take turns eating ourselves sitting with the kids while they eat. The other one runs around and gets themselves ready when not eating.
I actually find myself cutting it closer on days when I’ve had a backup nanny than on daycare days and I think it’s because there is no clear delineation. It might be better to have a clear handoff like nanny takes baby and does XYZ at specific time.
Vicky Austin says
Oh man, thank you, this is very helpful! When you say food available and suitable for baby, does that include the bottles? Something like that would be great for the nanny, too.
Vicky Austin says
“something like that” – I mean your dry-erase board system.
Anonymous says
Happy to try to help! Let me know if you have any other Qs!
For the bottles I got the stick on labels (since we go to daycare) that you use a little pencil to label so those are pretty straightforward. I think I got them from namebubbles online. I write the times for each bottle on those when I make them the night before. The dry erase just has all the (human) food like purées I’ve made, premade food, whatever and we add/subtract after grocery runs, as I make things, etc. that way whoever is feeding them can use the list. In the past I also wrote out a schedule/calendar with meals too but my baby only has one meal a day right now so we don’t need that yet.
Cb says
Can we talk presents for 6 year olds? My in-laws are asking for a list, but I’m all out of ideas. He’s getting a new bike from us (but it’s just swapping in his rental bike for the next size up so doesn’t feel like a real present), the new Ninjago Lego temple, a fitbit and a new backpack from my parents.
He’s into Japanese writing and Vikings. He doesn’t tend to play with play figurines, etc, so the How to Train Your Dragons ones I got have sat in a box. Nothing feels like it translates into a good present, and these are present people. We’ve got a good collection of Magnatiles and piles of Lego, which do get used regularly. Museums are free and we have a zoo membership, and honestly, they want a present in a box.
NYCer says
Not a big gift, but I feel like stomp rockets are always a hit with little boys. Or something he can use this summer – new pool toys or sand (digging) toys or even a swim suit?
Lil says
stomp rocket and goggles swimsuit beach towel were a hit with my 6 year old boy.
Anon says
Stomp rockets and beach toys would both be a hit with my 5.5 year old (girl, but I don’t think it matters much at this age).
GCA says
Something to wear / something to read? That extends to Viking helmets and dress-up armour; a fun sweatshirt; new rain boots or hiking boots for stomping around; and this could be a good age for a simple graphic novel, NatGeo kids almanac, magazine subscription, or a new card game/ board game.
Allie says
Does he like craft kits? They’re endlessly good presents for my girls because they come in a satisfying box but then get used.
anon says
Things that were hits at Christmas and their winter birthday for my 6yos: books from new-to-them series, books in a series they already love, art supplies (pastels, watercolors, stickers), craft kits, doll blankets, pencil pouches, clothes with their favorite things (unicorns and rainbows, currently) on them, lego kits, kid-sized umbrellas, board games.
OOO says
I studied Japanese for many years, as a teen/adult so different perspective from your kid. A Buddha Board would be good for practicing Japanese writing. Boogie boards are more kid-friendly. Or keep it analog and get Crayola Paint Brush pens and paper. My other go-to gifts for kids that age are the Rush Hour Jr game, Perplexus and Nightball.
OOO says
Also following the Japanese theme, origami kit and Sushi Go Party game
Cb says
Ooh the Buddha brush is a great idea, thanks! It’s such a random obsession and after seeing Totoro he’s got me printing out Japanese writing paper for his school bag.
My arguments that he needs to learn to write in English first have been met with scepticism.
Vicky Austin says
hahahaha that is absolutely adorable!
On that note, perhaps a child-sized red umbrella? ;)
ElisaR says
we have the cutest viking helmet from nutcase!
TheElms says
What about some outdoor toys for the garden (I know you have a small garden) or the park? Do you have a kite? At 6 he probably could play croquet and that is pretty easy to carry to a park and set up. We also have toy airplanes that you throw and they glide and they are great fun (especially down a hill). For hot days, reusable water ballons are very popular at the moment or the simple water blasters that you fill from a bucket of water.
Cb says
Ooh water blasters would be good. We’ve got a big garden but no real place for a play structure.
Thanks everyone! Some really good ideas.
Anonymous says
I have girls, but some ideas in all price ranges:
Hoverboard
Equipt meant for a spring he plays or will play (fun soccer socks, new mouthguards, cleats, bag for the gear, etc)
Jerseys or other fan gear for a sport he plays or enjoys (my girls like personalized swag)
Beach stuff if you have an upcoming vacation- kites, boogie board etc.
Rollerblades
Tickets to a local baseball game (pro or minor league)- my kids all love this adventure
Clothes that align with his interests (my 6 /o just got Pokémon PJs she loves)
Art supplies, bubbles, sidewalk chalk
Puzzles
Nintendo switch
Structure for outside- zip line, climbing dome, tree swing, etc
Reusable water balloons
Pit viper sunglasses
Beyblades or Akado toys (my 5 y/o neighbor is obsessed, and has gotten my kids obsessed)
More Lego, maybe Lego storage?
Anonymous says
If hand eye coordination is there, a set of koosh racquets and a koosh ball was a giant hit recently (but kid was slightly older).
Costumes
Swim towel
Cooking tools (first real knife etc )
Pocket knife
anonM says
Sarah’s Silks fort kit
Bike gear! Water bottle holder, bike basket, bell, etc.
Tool box with some age-appropriate tools, like a flashlight, wrench etc. (YMMV on what is “appropriate”)
Anon says
My 5 year old just asked for those velcro paddles so that you can throw a tennis ball back and forth and it sticks to the paddle. Not sure the name of it, nor do I imagine it’s very expensive, but that could be a small present.
GCA says
Been solo parenting for six days (yep, including Father’s Day) and so far: kid 2 is melting down at dropoff every day because dad is away, kindergarten transition is imminent, and we are planning and packing to move out of state; our washing machine has broken for the fourth time and will only be replaced next week; I forgot kid 1 had Monday off school and had to take the day off; the toilet became clogged and I unclogged it with dish soap and hot water; and I had an anaphylactic reaction to a piece of fruit that landed me in the ER for a couple of hours. I need several days alone with no work and no one speaking to me…
ElisaR says
oof. sending you positive vibes. hang in there.
Vicky Austin says
Oh, my, you’re a hero.
(So did you decide to move to MSP?? I vaguely remember that conversation!)
GCA says
Thanks all. And yes, we’re headed to the Twin Cities!
Anon says
Yayyy I think it’s so awesome that you’re doing this and that your kids will grow up near cousins.
Vicky Austin says
So exciting! Hopefully the last six days have used up all your statistically allotted craziness and the move goes extra smooth.
Anon says
Oh no, that’s a lot, especially the ER! I hope you get some rest and relaxation soon.
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Sending you all the good vibes! DH was on travel most of last week, came back for the weekend, and was off again at dawn yesterday. I’m solo parenting through the end of the month (but not balancing a move along with it – that in itself needs its own sabbatical, even without kids…)
Birthday party update says
Thanks to all who weighed in when I posted last week about whether I could ask to take a younger sibling (very close in age) along to a preschool birthday party at the park. I ended up just texting the parent and asking, and they were happy to have both kiddos come. Both kids had a blast and I was glad one wasn’t stuck home with the baby. So it all worked out and I definitely did not get the sense that the parents were secretly resentful or anything.
If it had been something that included an admission fee per child I would have left sibling at home. If I really couldn’t figure out child care, maybe I would have brought them (after asking, of course,) and paid their way myself if that was an option.
Anon says
Glad it worked out! I think it’s fine to ask even if there’s an admission fee, just offer to pay it. (As the host I would never take you up on it, but I appreciate the offer.) But as I said on the Friday thread, as long as you don’t bring siblings with zero notice to the host (which I think is very rude), you’re doing better than most.
Cb says
I’d be mortified if someone made special arrangements for siblings for a party but I’m a more the merrier person. Which is somehow how I ended up tripling the number of kids I ended up responsible for at the playpark today.
Anon says
I’m pretty confident we have the right number of kids (2) for our lifestyle, finances, careers, etc. and I go into a full blown panic at the thought of being pregnant, but I’m still irrationally sad about my husband getting a vasectomy and the end of the pregnancy and baby years.
Has anyone else ever dealt with this? Do we just need to get a dog? ;)
Anonymous says
ha this is me. DH keeps asking me about when to schedule his vasectomy. rationally i do not think we should have more kids (ours are 4 and 2), and i do not have the capacity to deal with more pregnancy loss. but i can’t close the door quite yet.
Anon says
I think almost everyone deals with this. It’s hard to say goodbye to life stages! It doesn’t mean you want another kid (and no matter how many kids you have ,this stage of life will always end). But I’m also of the mind that if the idea of a vasectomy makes you sad, you don’t have to make things permanent. Other forms of birth control work fine. I’m one and done with an almost 6 year old. We never really planned on more than one, and I assumed my husband would have a vasectomy soon after I gave birth, but it just never felt like the right thing to do so we never did, even though I think at this point it’s vanishing unlikely we’ll have another.
Personally, I would not get a dog, but to each their own. For me dogs are a lot of the work with none of the joy of a baby (and I was a big dog person pre-kids!) But YMMV.
Anon says
Oh yeah. Cup of Jo had a nice blog post years ago about how part of it was outgrowing the young mom phase which resonated with me too. I 1000% do not want 3rd child but I also do not want to shut that door.
Anon says
We also have 2 kids (and infertility that makes a vasectomy unnecessary). I’m in my 40s so, when the baby turns 1 next year, we’ll need to make a “now or never” decision. I’m very confident that we’ll decide to stop at 2 AND I’m very confident that I’ll continue to pay the storage fee for our remaining frozen embryos for a few years, just because it seems so final not to.
Vicky Austin says
Your self-knowledge/awareness/compassion is pretty impressive.
Anonymous says
Honestly, no. I’m terrified of becoming pregnant (vasectomy appointment is in the works). There is a good chance I am older than you, so that plays into it. But my kiddo is now almost 8, and our lives are just amazing. I really struggled with anxiety through the early years. But now, I’m a more confident parent who has (mostly) worked through the anxiety and kiddo is so much more self sufficient. She showers on her own, puts on her own sunscreen, etc. Going back to a younger phase would be so hard. And DH and I are both doing well at work, which means we’re getting more responsibility/stress. Having a two to one parent to kiddo ratio allows us to prioritize parenting in the way we want.
Anonymous says
I do fantasize about a third kid and have always wanted one but do feel like my plate is full right now with a 2 year old and a baby (and my husband would say he cannot see himself with a third). I’m also surprised by how much I am no longer able to tackle career-wise with two and I’m scared of how that would be with three. No advice just commiseration.
Anon says
I have a 5 year old whose hair is a stringy, tangled mess. We do brush it every morning, but unless we pull it back in a tight ponytail or bun (which she doesn’t like) it looks bad within an hour. She gets regular haircuts and we use both shampoo and conditioner. We have tried everything from washing her hair daily to only washing once a week – nothing seems to make a difference. It gets worse in the summer when she spends a lot of time in chlorinated pools, but is not great even in the winter. Any thoughts on how to make it look better? Right now other kids her age don’t really care about appearances, but I know they will soon.
Anonymous says
Do you live somewhere with hard water? Your kiddo and I have very similar sounding hair, except mine is curly (which is a very fun addition to the mess). I live in a place with extremely hard water – the minerals in your water could be building up on your child’s scalp, which causes increased oil production which is making it stringy. I would suggest a clarifying/cleansing shampoo once a week to once a month to assist with this.
The other thing that may be happening is that the hair needs more targeted moisture – for me tangles means added moisture is needed. With my own kid, I use detangling spray, but curl cream or leave-in conditioner work for me. The l’oreal detangler in the fish bottle is nice for kids – ends only to help avoid stringiness.
Anon says
Yes, we do have very hard water! In theory we have a whole house water filter, but it doesn’t work very well and I can only drink water that’s been filtered by our fridge. Tap water tastes disgusting to me. Good to know this…maybe I should try to find some sort of filter for the bathtub.
Anonymous says
There are definitely showerheads with water filters in them!
Lil says
yes! I recently bought the $35 aquabliss one on amazon on advice of my hairdresser. my hair looks a lot better and my skin feels softer too.
Anonymous says
Might also need a different conditioner. The current one might be the wrong type of moisture for her hair. My hair does great with argan or jojoba oil based ones and gets oily stringy annoying with coconut oil.
Anon says
I spray my kids’ hair sometimes with It’s A 10.
anon says
this is just how kids look I think. Look around at the rest of the class at the end of the day. My daughter is in a braid always, unless it’s a special day like picture day.
Anon says
I thought that for a while, but part of what prompted me to post this is noticing how much more put together the other girls in her class look. Most of them are of east Asian descent though, and I know that’s a different hair texture.
Anonymous says
Intended in the kindest way, 5 year olds do not look put together and there is no expectation that they do. Also most little kids with long hair in my kids’ classes wear braids or ponytails for this reason. Have you tried two braids?
Anon says
Yeah I’m aware they don’t look “put together” by adult standards. I’m crap at doing hair and can’t do braids. She doesn’t like ponytails or headbands because she says they hurt her head (and I felt the same way as a kid, so I get it).
Anonymous says
Learn how to do braids. It is not hard. Watch a few YouTube videos and practice.
Artemis says
I am so g-d tired of being the one in charge of chores that everyone hates so that I just get to be the nag all the time. Home with my three kids today—13, 10, 7. Gave them each an easy list of chores to complete this morning, all of which could have easily been completed in about 1.5 hours. It’s 3:00 pm and none of them have finished. Serves them right I guess, they are the ones who wasted their day. I’m trying to WFH and alllll I hear are demands, arguments, and reasons why I am so annoying and unfair.
Ugh. Rant over. Raising functional adults means they don’t get to be happy all the time. But WHYYYYYYYYYYY (now I sound like them haha).
Anonymous says
This was totally me growing up. I could make a few simple chores last all day. I grew up to be a fine, funcitoning adult (who sometimes still makes a few simple chores last all day).
Artemis says
Thanks, this made me smile. They squeezed in some pool time by the skin of their teeth and I’m over my grumps now.