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I remember this table from when I was a teen, and it still looks exactly the same (in a good way!).
Picnicking has become a favorite weekend activity for us. After juggling too many meals in my lap, I finally bought this portable table from Crate & Barrel. This table comes in its own carrying bag and unrolls for easy assembly. Just screw the legs on and you’re ready to go.
In addition to picnics, use this table at the beach or for outdoor concerts.
The Outdoor Table in a Bag is on sale for $47.
Sales of note for 11.28.23…
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Nordstrom – Black Friday deals have started! 1,800+ sale items! Shop designer, get bonus notes up to $1200. Markdowns include big deals on UGG, Natori, Barefoot Dreams, Marc Fisher LTD, Vionic and more!
- Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your purchase
- Banana Republic – 40% off your purchase, including cashmere; up to 60% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 60% off everything & extra 20% off purchase
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off almost everything; up to 50% off suiting & chinos; up to 40% off cashmere; extra 50% off sale styles
- Lands’ End – 50% off sitewide (readers love the cashmere)
- Summersalt – Up to 60% off (this reader favorite sweater blazer is down to $75)
- Stuart Weitzman – Extra 25% off full-price and sale styles with code
- Talbots – 50% off all markdowns and 30% off entire site — readers love this cashmere boatneck and this cashmere cardigan, as well as their sweater blazers in general
- Zappos – 29,000+ sale items (for women)! Check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kid shoe brands on sale.
Kid/Family Sales
- BabyJogger – 25% off 3 items
- Crate & Kids – Up to 50% off everything plus free shipping sitewide; save 10% off full price items
- J.Crew Crewcuts – 50% off everything + free shipping
- ErgoBaby – 40% off Omni Breeze Carrier, 25% off Evolve 3-in-1 bouncer, $100 off Metro+Stroller
- Graco – Up to 30% off car seats
- Nordstrom – Big deals on CRANE BABY, Petunia Pickle Bottom, TWELVElittle and Posh Peanut
- Strolleria – 25% off Wonderfold wagons, and additional deals on dadada, Cybex, and Peg Perego
- Walmart – Savings on Maxi-Cosi car seats, adventure wagons, rocker recliners, security cameras and more!
Waffles says
Recommendations for educational apps for 6 to 8 year olds?
My kid enjoys:
Reading Eggs (the Math Seeds part)
Prodigy (both math and English)
She also uses the Khan Academy and PBS Kids apps, but I feel like for her to be self-motivated about it, Khan Academy is slightly too educational, and PBS kids has a lot of fluff. Reading Eggs/Math Seeds and Prodigy seem to hit around the sweet spot.
Thanks!
HSAL says
Is she using the regular Khan Academy or Khan Academy Kids? Mine (6 and almost 4) use the kids one a fair amount and it hasn’t seemed too educational. I think the age range is up to 8.
Waffles says
She’s using Khan Academy Kids, which I think is great, but she’s not motivated to stick with it for long like she is with the apps that have a little more razzle-dazzle.
Forgot to mention, she enjoys the Brainpop Jr. app as well (educational videos).
Anonymous says
Raz kids for reading
AIMS says
We have Epic and Dreambox Math thru 1st grader’s school and she likes both. I think there are pay versions.
Anon says
Yeah, my 5yos love Dreambox for math.
anonamommy says
My kid loves MathTango. He also really likes a tetris knockoff, which is not strictly educational but helps with spatial awareness.
Anon says
Layoffs today at a company I joined not long ago. I was assured my team and I are safe, but it still doesn’t feel great. Going to be a long day.
Anonymous says
1) I’m sorry. 2) I’ve been where you are and if it happened again I’d be contacting references and brushing up my resume. You know your industry but when mine tells me I’m safe I no longer believe that.
OP says
Yep that’s part of the concern too. I’m new. My team is “critical” but I work in a cyclical industry and I’m not convinced we are truly that critical.
The reasoning for layoffs feels overly cautious and silly imo but maybe there’s more to the story.
Anonymous says
The absolute best thing you can do (for your own mindset as well as coworkers) is reach out next week to anyone laid off and offer to be a reference and help network.
When I was part of a really (IMO) stupid layoff, my former coworkers called with (1) outrage and (2) job leads. It was awesome.
Anon says
Wow that would have made a world of difference after I was laid off. Losing your job can feel like a betrayal. One of the worst times of my life was after I was laid off when I was the breadwinner of my family.
Anonymous says
Ugh. We’re not having layoffs but massive turnover and concerns about inflation have led us to tighten spending, freezing headcounts, etc. People are Not Happy.
Anonymous says
What are some of the best / least painful fundraisers your schools do? This is for a K-5 school but all ideas welcome.
There has always been a “direct appeal” aka write a check option but looking for other ideas that don’t make working moms gag.
Anonymous says
The only thing I like about our public elementary school’s PTA is that the write-a-check fundraiser is the only one. Everyone loves this.
Lily says
Something our daycare does that I think is nice is they recruit a parent who is a professional (or semi-professional) photographer to do family photo shoots for a hundred or couple hundred bucks each session. The proceeds go to the school. They schedule them all in one or two afternoons at a local park, so not a huge time commitment from the parent. It’s great because everyone wants professional family photo shoots but doesn’t want to pay a ton.
Redux says
I love this idea.
HSAL says
Our preschool did this this year and it was amazing.
anon says
Fun Night. It’s basically carnival games and a bunch of other activities. It’s a huge undertaking for the organizers, but for the other parents, it’s pretty easy. Buy yourself a bracelet for admission, and you’re done.
NYCer says
+1. The kids love this at our preschool. Usually it is on like a Thursday afternoon, but I have seen other schools do it on a Saturday.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We recently had a parents night out social – parents pay for tickets, first hour open bar, then paid drinks, and can buy raffle tickets to win prizes (nights out, baseball tickets, beach stuff, etc.) We went and it was pretty fun. They also do an auction every other year, as well as a fun run.
AIMS says
We have an annual night out where parents can come and everyone can bid on auction items, some of which are donated and some made by the classes. It’s pretty low stakes for attendees but yes a lot of work for the PTA.
We also do a read-a-thon and various school gear sales that are easy enough to participate in.
Anon says
our school has an outdoor movie night where you pay for tickets and meals.
Anonymous says
You know, I actually kind of like ordering wrapping paper. Then I can get birthday and holiday paper all at once and store it for when I need it.
Anon says
Similar to others, our preschool has a carnival night and silent auction. I heard it was super fun, but it hasn’t happened since Covid (maybe it will happen this year?) and we missed it in 2019 due to kiddo having croup, so I’ve actually never been.
GCA says
Here’s our mostly harmless fundraiser – the school partners with a local pizzeria, so that a portion of the $ from an evening’s orders goes to the school when families order pizza and mention the fundraiser. We all need to feed the kids anyway, so it works.
anon says
Our school does this on a monthly basis, but the PTO has admitted that they are not great moneymakers at all.
Anon says
Yeah this is easy but usually not a big moneymaker. Pizzeria probably donates 10% of the bill or something like that, so each family is contributing less than $5.
anonM says
One school near me does a wreath sale during the winter/Christmas time.
Anonymous says
This. Stuff I would buy anyway – bath bombs and lotion in advance of Mother’s Day, wreaths in advance of Christmas, wrapping paper and cards anytime. Being able to order/pay online is key. No fooling around with paper forms or sending in cash.
Anonymous says
I may be willing to buy stuff I’d buy anyway, but I do not like being asked to sell stuff or have my kids sell stuff.
Anon says
Are you looking for something that makes money? Our PTO makes about 70% of its budget by direct appeal, 20% through a Walk-a-thon community event (we include an auction, and it’s is a ton of work for the organizers) and *maybe* 10% through everything else. Scrip, restaurant nights, sales of things (wreaths etc.), affiliate links, movie nights – none of that makes a ton of money.
Anonymous says
A mix! Right now we do a book fair ($4k), a parents night out/auction ($10-15k), a district wide camp fair ($10k), a fun run ($5-10k), direct appeal (~$5k), and a few other little things (partner with local restaurants, labels, etc) (~$5k combined). We also have a gear store (~$1k). Curious if there were other things to put out for consideration. We do not do “kids sell stuff” (wrapping paper, wreathes, popcorn, magazines, what have you).
Our 5th graders do 1-2 things to raise money separately- car washes, a haunted house, etc.
Anonymous says
5K with kids’ fun run.
anon says
Schools in my area auction off parties donated by parents. So, parents volunteer to throw an egg hunt (for families) or a wine and cheese (for the parents) or a sushi making class, etc., and other parents buy tickets to or bid on the parties. The extra events build community, PTA gets money.
If there’s a lot of economic diversity, the parties model can be tough to get right–often, wealthier parents go to more parties, build a strong community, and it can be hard for other parents to feel included. There are ways to be more inclusive, but it’s not easy.
Anonymous says
This is like my worst nightmare. Trying to find the time to host or attend something like this? Hard no.
Anonymous says
Book fair.
anon says
Going on a long road trip this weekend. Any ideas for non-screen activities for my 7-year-old girl? There will definitely be tablets and screens involved, but everyone needs a screen break sometimes. I thought about audiobooks, but I honestly don’t know where to start. It’s just not part of our normal routine.
Allie says
Podcast kids stories! Maked up is our favorite but there are a million.
AIMS says
I think you can do the 1st Harry Potter book with a 7 year old.
govtattymom says
My daughter is five but we did coloring books, magnetic dolls (the ones geared for older girls with more “fashionable” outfits), regular dolls, dry erase puzzles, homework, and lots of listening to Encanto. She did really well- I think buying her a few new things helped a bunch! Good luck and have fun!
Anne-on says
Our local library has an excellent selection of audio books, we check those out ahead of long trips – maybe check there? We’ve liked the Percy Jackson books, the Hobbit (it is LONG), the Roald Dahl compendium, and (my least favorite but my kid adored it) the Magic Treehouse series.
Anonymous says
My 7 year old also likes Magic Treehouse, but I can’t stand the kid voices in narration. Another favorite is Mrs. Pigglewiggle, but +1 for Percy Jackson, esp if it’s going on the main car radio and grownups have to listen too.
We really like the Brains On!, Million Bazillion and Smash Boom Best podcasts, too.
SC says
We just took a long road trip with my son, who turned 7 the week of the trip. He loved Mrs. Pigglewiggle (but there’s some outdated gender stuff and outdated glorification of the blond hair/blue eyes beauty standard).
We tried the first Harry Potter, and he was too young to follow the storyline on audiobook. I think he’d zone out for a few minutes and then not know what was going on.
He also really likes the Greeking Out podcast.
Anon says
We all enjoyed listening to Suzanne Collins’ book Gregor the Overlander. It was enjoyable for both adults and kids. My 4 yo though the younger sister character was hilarious.
(Suzanne Collins also wrote Rhe Hunger Games. Gregor has some battle scenes, but pretty good morals overall. Not like hunger games.)
Spirograph says
I like that series! I tried to get my 9 year old to read it, but he’s unwilling to consider anything else until he’s finished all the Spy Kids books. I can’t speak to Spy Kids audiobooks, but all three of my kids really enjoyed listening to us read the first one aloud to him.
Anonymous says
Mad Libs!! If your child can read, they can ask you the suggestions and write them down. I killed 45 minutes with a 6 year old this way!
We also don’t really do audiobooks in usual life but they have been KEY on road trips.
Anonymous says
Those color by sticker books are a huge hit with us on long road trips. Also my 6 year old loves the dress up sticker dolls, and also there’s a few where you can place cats around a room and similar — great for imaginative play in a car.
Anonymous says
I was coming here to recommend Paint By Sticker and Sticker Dolly Dressing.
Also audiobooks.
anon says
Sticker Dolly Dressing got us through many of her older sibling’s band and orchestra concerts, haha. She might be over them now.
Anonymous says
Ahead of a long car trip this spring, I gave my 4- and 6- year old $10 each to spend at Target on toys. They had a lot of fun shopping and anticipating getting to actually play with them. In retrospect I wish I had done $15 as a lot of the toys the 6 year old wanted were $12, but my 4 year old picked out a bunch of the dollar bin things and was happy too.
We also did a lot of variations of the alphabet game, “daddy DJ” where everyone took turns picking the next song and DH put them on.
We also had each kid fill a backpack with their own toys from home they wanted to bring.
DLC says
I got boogie boards for the kids last toad trip and they seemed to like them. I played a game where one of us would draw a shape and then the other person would make it into a picture. Or Exquisite Corpse is also fun. You can also use regular pen and paper too, but there was novelty to the boogie board.
Those Melissa and Doug reusable sticker sets get a lot of use too. We have a car bingo set that the kids like.
And if you google “car games” there are a lot of car suggestions. We like playing alphabet license plate where you look for a license plate (or sign) with the letter A, then B, then so on. Gets the kid to look out the window, whoch is nice.
Also- teach your kid how to pump their arm to get truckers to honk. Another classic.
And yes we do a lot of audiobooks. I like the How To Train Your Dragon series- short and hilarious and there are many many in the series.
Lots of podcasts too… I like Wow in the World. The Two Princes and Eleanor Amplified are two radio dramas that I really like.
Anon says
Circle Round podcast is great.
Anonymous says
If you have time, go to the dollar store and see if they have some small coloring books/ craft items that are good for the car. For our last trip we were able to get some sun catchers that you could color (not paint!) that were a big hit in the car. I also always get a bunch of cheap coloring books. They tend to not only have things to color, but games like find a word, decode a message etc. Also from the dollar store we got a small lego box – as in a box made out of lego material (off brand). We filled that up with legos we already had on hand, and both my kids like to play with that in the car.
The selection is hit or miss, but I like to have a bag of dollar store items in the front seat for long trips. When the kids start loosing their minds I can pass back something new. Also consider getting some utility caddies from the dollar store. The big ones are good for corralling kids stuff. Small ones are good for putting food/snacks for the kids in.
anonamommy says
We’ve had great luck with Roald Dahl audiobooks, particularly Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Fantastic Mr. Fox. The story in both really moves and is easy to follow along. If you use audible, there’s a set of 5 Dahl stories for 1 credit that has gotten a ton of mileage in our house.
Advocacy says
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about what convinces people to go from anger/ frustration/ sadness at events in the news to actually taking action. Not just posting something on social media, but actually joining an organization or calling your representatives, etc etc. So I’m curious: if you have tried to channel your feelings into productive action, no matter how small, how did that come about? And if you’re still just screaming into the void (an idea which to me encapsulates a lot of what is wrong with how we respond to things), why haven’t you stepped up?
Boston Legal Eagle says
At this stage in my life, I donate money to organizations I think are trying to help. I am in a deep blue state so calling my representatives is kind of preaching to the choir. If I were in a purple state, I may consider calling more and would hopefully use my vote to elect those whose values align with mine. In terms of actually advocating or joining an organization, you’re right, I don’t do that at this moment but may consider it when my kids are older or my job is less demanding.
Anon says
I donate money, I call my reps (deep red state so they ignore me, but I still call) and I volunteered a little with Moms Demand before the pandemic but haven’t done that since Covid.
Anonymous says
Ok well judgy posts like yours certainly don’t make me want to dive into advocacy. Honestly no idea what else to do. I already have blue reps, I donate, I have conversations. Why should I call Cory Booker? He knows.
FVNC says
I’m in a state with two Dem senators. I’m still calling them to tell them I want them to actively push gun safety / gun control legislation, not just passively support bills if/when they come up for a vote. No idea if it matters. But I think D politicians could be doing more on this issue.
Redux says
FWIW I did not read this as a judgy post but rather as trying to get to the root of what made you act (if you acted) or what made you not act (if you have not acted). OP’s phrasing “why haven’t you stepped up” is a little aggressive but I think we’re all probably a bit raw right now.
I am similar to others on this thread– I donate to Moms and did some actions with them pre-pandemic (post- Stoneman Douglas). I actually do have a horrible red rep and I should call her more. I think I don’t because of the same thing someone said below– feels like standing in front of a runaway train. I’ll call her today.
anon says
I called my reps this morning. I’ve called them about the same issues (gun control) years ago. I’ve researched buying a bullet proof vest for my family member who works in a school. I’ve donated. None of it feels like enough.
anon says
Many of us HAVE done those things. I think you’re making some big assumptions about how much people are or aren’t doing.
OP says
Um, I specifically asked two questions here b/c I’m not making assumptions? I know everyone is busy, and I know not everyone knows where to start.
Pogo says
I donate because it is quick and can be done from my phone. I have written reps in the past, though mine are all aligned with my personal views and vote in the way I’d want already, so not sure how much that matters.
I think for those of us who work full time with young kids, there is so very little time left over for devoting time to causes that when we have to choose between local causes we can impact directly (volunteering for a local event/drive) vs idk, flying to DC to march or flying to a purple state to knock on doors, we make the choice to focus locally. It’s true for me at least.
Spirograph says
Agreed, re local vs state or national action. I vote, I donate, I have my reps’ numbers in my cell phone and call occasionally, even though it is preaching to the choir. I read once (not sure whether it’s true ) that the staff still tracks constituent calls even if they’re aligned with the rep’s position — if there are enough on a particular issue, that goes up the list of things the rep would consider sponsor/co-sponsoring vs just being a supporting vote.
I don’t do marches in DC, even though it’s local to me, because it’s just not my thing; I don’t like crowds and festivals for non-political event either. I don’t knock on doors because I, personally, am not receptive to door-knockers (or “clipboard people” that stand on corners downtown and try to engage passersby). They annoy me and I don’t want to be one of them.
Anon says
I became politically active for the first time in 2018, joining a campaign to flip my district from red to blue. Knocked on doors, phone banked. It felt good, especially when our candidate won. I also volunteer with Planned Parenthood and Moms Demand Action, but now that all my reps are blue it is like preaching to the choir, as someone else mentioned.
anon says
And on the converse, I’m in a blue dot in a red state, and it feels like nothing we do really matters. The outcomes from our elected officials are entirely predictable and frustrating.
Anon says
Just posted about being in Houston and +1
I was on the organizing committee for the planned parenthood luncheon this year. We ARE all doing things. But it’s not like it isn’t enough. There is no enough here. I see no path forward.
Anonanonanon says
I have all blue reps, so no one to call.
I joined moms demand action for a while a few years ago. I was uncomfortable with how often the organization shared stories of women of color losing their children to gun violence, yet I saw exactly zero women of color at any meetings I attended. It felt exploitative.
In terms of causes in general, like other people said, I donate money and leave it to the professional advocates.
Not to be defeatist, but people have been shouting until their hoarse about this for years. We’re not going to change corruption in Washington, at least not over an issue that women and children are the voices for.
FVNC says
In addition to calling my reps (Democrats), I asked my deeply conservative (but not gun nut) mom to call her Republican senators. I provided her a script to read. It took a day, but she called! Now. I have no idea what she actually said, and I 100% know this issue will not change her vote but…it felt like something to know that a registered R called her R senators expressing support for gun safety.
A says
I hear you all on the frustration of already having Democratic senators whose minds don’t need convincing, but…please call anyway. There hasn’t been any significant gun legislation in nearly thirty years, during which time both Ds and Rs have been in power. Calling still matters, as it shows them what their constituents’ priorities are.
anon says
I think it’s important to consider that although mass shootings make the news, they account for less than 1% of gun-related homicide victims. You can help reduce gun violence by: volunteering at womens shelters, attending police-community events, volunteering with at-risk youth, serving on diversionary panels at your district attorney’s office, becoming a foster parent, and much more.
Anon says
I’m confused by the tone of this post. I always call my reps. Their numbers are in my phone. As does everyone in my network. But I’m in Texas, and almost everyone I know is liberal, and we’re in an echo chamber (I’m in Houston).
I think a lot of people take action but I also think a lot of the country doesn’t realize that there’s a lot of people who disagree with them and honestly I don’t know those people, and if I don’t know those people living in Houston, action taken by someone elsewhere certainly isn’t going to reach them. Random liberal in Houston < local pastor any day.
Anon says
I’m also a liberal in Houston as is most of my friend group, but I also know a lot of my friend group did not vote in the runoff, the May 7 constitutional amendment election, the initial primary or the school board election and corresponding runoff back in the fall. Maybe everyone in your friend group votes in every election, but most people i know dont
Anon says
So I know a lot of people who run for office (i knew someone in the runoff this week) so in that regard I do think a lot of people i know vote in many elections.
but also, those types of elections are dem who believes in gun control vs dem who believes in gun control. I think it’s way more important to vote in the general election versus a primary runoff. so i think focusing on those elections might be missing the point. but yeah, combo of being an attorney and knowing enough people who hold or run for office, i know a lot of people hitting the polls and volunteering. but being friendly with my local city counsel member (who definitely gets a call that i care about guns) doesn’t get me anywhere with statewide policies or national ones.
Anonymous says
Until we rewrite the Constitution to ensure representative government, joining an organization or calling one’s representatives is just a different way of screaming into the void.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yeah, that’s kind of the crux of my thinking too. I don’t think it’s fair that CA with a population the size of many countries gets the same senate representation as Wyoming and Montana (and Vermont, to be fair). A big part of me just wants to states to be their own countries and the US be kind of like the EU, and see what happens. It’s getting harder and harder to see how we’re united.
Anon says
I think in a post Citizens United word nothing we do matters. We should all be trying to become extremely rich or sit on the boards of corporations that are extremely rich to affect anything.
OP says
Thanks to everyone for your responses! Frankly it’s super heartening to read these replies. Thank you thank you for everything you’re doing.
Is there some judgment in my tone? Well, yes. It’s really great that so many people in your networks seem to be quite active, but a lot of people I know in suburbia land seem to have a lot of anxiety and time for rage posts but somehow don’t have the time for proactive advocacy. I find myself thinking all the time… if these moms would spend less time on FB/ Instagram/ etc and more time joining Moms Demand we would all be so much better off!
But I also want to be sympathetic to these people that I know IRL. We’re all busy. Some people don’t know where to start. I get it. I want to be part of the solution and find ways to encourage their participation, not point fingers at their failure.
Anonymous says
Honestly, I don’t think grassroots participation makes one whit of difference. If it did, we’d have seen change already. Perhaps you should focus your energy on getting someone like Bill Gates to invest billions of dollars in the issue, because that’s what it’s going to take. Or put together a coalition to file lawsuits against gun manufacturers.
Anonymous says
Ok, I’ll bite. I’m assuming you’re wondering why people haven’t “stepped up” on gun control specifically? I work 50+ hours/week at a nonprofit that, among other things, helps primarily low-income individuals access healthcare, safe housing, Social Security benefits, SNAP benefits, etc. Nearly every day, I have someone who’s in some kind of absolute crisis because they can’t pay rent, can’t get through to SSA to figure out why their benefits stopped, are getting screwed over by their insurance plan and can’t get the care or meds they need. I don’t have any more compassion fatigue bandwith to do any more advocacy in my downtime. And every single time there’s a tragedy, I’m confronted with the media, this site, the little bit of social media I see, etc. telling me that if I’m not calling my congressperson and doing X, Y, and Z, I’m part of the problem. It is really frigging exhausting.
Anonymous says
You might enjoy Kate Bowler’s recent podcast interview with the Archbishop of Canterbury. It talks about how it’s okay that we can’t all fix everything.
Anon for this says
I need advice as to how to navigate my parents’ falling apart marriage. Dad refuses to see a doctor for his routine issues. We suspect mental illness stemming from trauma in childhood which went untreated: he sleeps a lot, is always angry and accusatory towards mom, disrespects her in public and at home. Family friends noticed his behavior and said he is paranoid and acting like a jerk. I was thinking that it is not my job to fix their marriage but what I would like to do is try to convince him see a cardiologist (he is overweight with high blood pressure) and most important a neurologist or physiatrist. How do I do that?
Anon says
I don’t think you can really manage an adult parent’s medical care. All you can really do is tell him you’re worried about his health and you’d like him to see a doctor.
Anonymous says
You don’t. Sorry. You ask you mom what she needs and then do those things.
anon says
I’m sorry. That sounds very hard.
anon says
I do not mean to scare you. But have all of these behavior changes kind of “new” (ex over the last year or two) or has this been the same behavior for most of his life? My FIL has Frontotemporal dementia (FTD). It might be worth a google search on behavioral variant FTD. We wrote off weird behavior for several years (1 or 2) thinking it was just the way he was. Or possible depression from retiring. Many of his initial behaviors came across as just being a jerk. He also started to fixate on childhood trauma, which was new. It wasn’t until we started to see some additional problems as a cause for concern which lead to diagnosis. Getting a prescription for anti-depressants did a world of positive change for his situation, which was something a GP in a clinic was able to prescribe. For us, it started with making a list of new or odd behavior and then explaining those to a GP that then lead to a referral to a neurologist. It took a couple of tries before the GP did not write it off as just run of the mill depression. Personally, I do not think my MIL would have been able to get the diagnosis without additional contributors telling a case to the GP. So if you are able to help your mom through. That would be beneficial.
Anon says
Probably a dumb question but for those of you who don’t let your kids quit an activity they’ve signed up for, how do you make them participate? We’ve generally taken the approach that activities are supposed to be fun, and if they cease being fun we let my kid quit. But right now my 4 year old wants to quit a soccer class she otherwise really enjoys for the absolute dumbest reason, and I really don’t want to give into it. But she is an extremely strong-willed kid and I know that if I force her to go to the class when she’s told me she doesn’t want to, she will just totally refuse to participate and possibly scream and cry on the sidelines which seems really stressful and embarrassing. I’m tempted to bribe her with a reward if she goes to class with a good attitude and participates, but that’s not good parenting, right?
anon says
IDK, if the kid’s behavior is going to detract from the others’ experience, I think it’s OK to consider quitting. My take is that not all 4-year-olds are ready for soccer and that you can bail at this age without many ramifications. I’d feel differently about the situation if your kid were older.
Boston Legal Eagle says
+1 Also, if this were swimming (safety need IMO), I’d be a little more insistent than soccer. A 4 year old doing soccer is different than an 8 year old on a soccer team with commitments to the team.
OP says
Oh yeah, she wouldn’t be letting the team down and I certainly don’t care if she ever becomes a good soccer player. If she actually hated soccer, I would let her quit no question. But she really likes soccer and only wants to quit because there’s a girl in the class with the same name as her and she can’t handle not being the only ___. But she has a really common name like Olivia so this is definitely not the last time this is going to happen to her (I’m actually shocked this is the first time we’ve been in this situation) and I feel like she needs to learn to deal with it? (And to think I hated my unique name as a kid and just wanted to be an Emily or a Jennifer so people wouldn’t misspell or mispronounce it! I guess the grass is always greener.)
Anonanonanon says
I’m sorry but, as an outsider, that is an objectively hilarious reason for wanting to quit on her part.
OP says
Oh I definitely find it amusing too. :)
Boston Legal Eagle says
I was wondering what the reason was and that is hilarious! Because she’s 4 (i.e. still mostly irrational), I’d say to her “yeah, that does sound hard to share you name with so and so,” have her go to the practice, and if she doesn’t participate or screams from the sideline, then you say something like “ok, it sounds like you’re not participating, we’re going to go now.”
HSAL says
I am dying laughing at this.
Pogo says
This is such 4yo reasoning, love it.
Anonanonanon says
Can you offer her a fun nickname to use at soccer? This sounds like something I would have done as a kid and telling me I could pick a new name to use at soccer totally would have worked lol
Anonymous says
She for sure needs a “soccer name.” Bruiser. Spike. My Little Pony. Sparkles. Her initials (AD! JP! CJ!). Her middle name.
My 4 year old daughter is one of three “Olivias.” They go by Livvy, Olive, and Dubs (Dubs is Olivia W aka Dubya aka Dubs).
Pogo says
If you truly think she’ll scream and cry, I wouldn’t force it.
Mine sometimes screams and cries that he doesn’t want to go BUT he does always enjoy it once he’s there. So we usually ‘bribe’ in the sense that we say he can ride on the trailercycle with Daddy to baseball practice (because he loves riding w/ DH). For taekwondo when he went through a patch where he didn’t want to put his uniform on, the teachers gave him extra stickers when he wore it (they do it at his preschool).
Anonymous says
A couple approaches depending on the activity and the personality:
1) bribery. You go to X, I will get you Y after.
2) let them skip it once.
3) tell them they have to go and if they still want to leave halfway through they can leave
4) consider it a donation to the sport and let her quit. Why fight?
I have done all 4 with my kids over the years.
Anonymous says
Given the (adorably hilarious) reason she doesn’t want to participate, I’d say this situation is ripe for bribery.
Anon says
+1
CHL says
My 9 year old was like that at 4 and 5 and has turned into a pleasant participant, so there is hope. We took the approach that we could not make you do the activity, but if we signed up and committed, you had to go. I think the consequence for actually refusing to get into the car and go to the location was no screen time, which was one of the few compelling things but that was never really a huge issue. I think he sat on the side of the pool for 4 classes before he got in and had a ball. Same with soccer. Would not play for 3 practices and 2 games and then got in and had fun. Each kid is different, but I knew with mine, he would have fun once he got over himself.
2 Under 2 says
We are hosting a birthday party for our 2-year old on a Sunday from 10:00 to 11:30 a.m. We are inviting her daycare class (2-3 year olds) and a few friends and family. We expect at least one parent will stay with each child. We had hoped for a Saturday party, but our venue (farm) was already booked. For the Saturday party, I was going to order Chick-fil-A breakfast party platters – figured the kids would eat chicken nuggets, adults could have little breakfast sandwiches, with fruit, water, coffee, etc. But now that the party is on a Sunday, what do we serve? I want to serve a meal (lunch) for the kids, but also have foods the adults can eat. Is KFC a good option? Has anyone ordered party platters from KFC? I guess I could order pizza, but sourcing for other options. We’re in the Chicago area, if that matters.
Pogo says
why does the day of the week impact the food? Isn’t KFC just like Chick-fil-A? Caveat is that I don’t eat meat or fast food so my knowledge here is spotty.
Cb says
Chick-fil-a is closed on Sunday! At that time though, I’d just do donuts and croissants and coffee?
Cb says
Also, why, after 11 years in the UK, do I know this random piece of information?
Anon says
Haha. Yeah I agree with donuts and croissants and coffee (and hot chocolate! That was a big hit with both kids and adults at my kid’s park party). Dunkin is on Doordash most places if that would make things easier.
Pogo says
oh wow. I definitely did not know that.
Anon says
Pretty sure Chick Fil A is closed on Sundays
GCA says
Chick-fil-A’s closed on Sundays. But also, wouldn’t nuggets and fries get cold and soggy by the time they get to the venue? What about more brunch-y food instead that everyone would eat (fruit salad, bagels and cream cheese, coffee, anything local you might get from the farm)?
Anon says
your local grocery store might have some platters you could order. or mini bagels and cream cheese
NYCer says
Are the kids eating at the end of the party I assume? If so, I would just go with pizza. 11am is close enough for toddler lunch. For the adults, I would get a fruit plate and some bagels and cream cheese or muffins/pastries, and assume that they will pick at the food while the kids are playing with the animals or whatever it is the activity is at the farm.
2 Under 2 says
It’s time to wean our 14-month old off her bottles. We started taking them away slowly, but went cold turkey last weekend. She asked for a bottle twice the first day, but seemed fine when we said no. But, she’s stopped drinking milk. She drinks milk from an open cup (Montessori school) at daycare and with lunch at home (and then thinks it’s funny to dip her hands in the cup) but refuses the Oxo tot straw cups I used with her older sibling and from which she will happily drink water. Any recommendations for other cups? Thank you.
Anon says
munchkin 360?
Anon says
It sounds like she is drinking milk? Maybe just not the quantity you want. Milk is not needed — Vitamin D and fat are. So serve her yogurt with D and find other ways to work fat into her diet
Anonymous says
Milk also contains protein and calcium.
Anon says
I mean, yes, but milk is primarily recommended for Vitamin D (there are not many food sources for that) and fat. Milk is not meant to provide all the nutrients we need.
Anon says
We have struggled with our now 18 month old. The Nuk small learners are the only thing that worked for us (off a recommendation from here).
Anonymous says
If she’ll drink milk from open cups with meals is there a reason not to just stick with that? We only used straw cups because my kids couldn’t figure out how to use open cups until over 2.
Incog-neat-oh says
So our toddler is very finicky about cups – and refuses to drink milk out of cups that are “water cups” and vice versa. So it may be trial and error until she finds her home “milk cup” which may not be the same (or even the same style – think open versus straw versus sippy versus 360).
Anon says
Try a learner or transition cup (or any cup with a soft spout). You could also get sippy tops for bottles so it’s a more gradual transition.
NYCer says
The Oxo tot straw cups require you to suck pretty hard to get the liquid out. You might want to try one that is easier to get liquid out of. We had good luck with the Thinkbaby straw cups.
Anonymous says
Why can’t she use open cups? At that age we were not giving massive quantities of milk, like a cup with meals.
Cb says
In the vein of how not to hate your husband, what do you do when friends/acquaintances/colleagues really hate their husbands? I was at a lunch yesterday when a colleague started talking about how awful her partner was and how parenting was so hard, etc, in a very “you know how it is…” way.
But… I don’t? She had to race home from an event because her husband doesn’t like being left with the kids for any length of time, whilst I am gone 3 nights a week and come home to a happy kid, a happy husband, and clean-ish house? So I could either fake commiserate or be smug? I think I ended up smug, mostly because I knew that senior male colleagues were watching this conversation and I wanted to show I had my -ish together?
Cb says
Ugh, that does read as smug, but I assure you, I get my comeuppance when the nursery teachers don’t know me and my in-laws treat my husband like he’s been bereaved.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I get what you’re saying. Some of my coworkers talk about how they do all the cooking or have to leave their husbands recipes or pre-made food for the one time they leave for a business trip and I’m like… my husband cooks for us every night and would be perfectly fine without me for a few nights. It’s a little different than parenting struggles due to the babies not sleeping/toddlers tantruming, etc. as presumably this spouse is a grown adult who should know better. I don’t know that you can really fix their situation with their spouse, but instead maybe model your own healthy relationship for your kid and other younger coworkers?
Redux says
Lol, my husband just went out of town for one night for a work trip and he prepped a dinner and left me a simple recipe. He also texted me to remind me what time to pick up our kid from school.
Anon says
The thing about bosses watching is a different dynamic, but with friends and acquaintances, I try not to be either fake or smug? I just nod and say “yeah that sounds really hard” a lot.
Pogo says
+1 but if the guy sounds like an actual a-hole I do say that.
Anon says
You did fine. This wasn’t a proper venue (or level of relationship) for venting about one’s partner. I think it’s deeply disrespectful to highlight a partner’s (or a child’s) faults in casual relationships – that’s what close family/friends and anonymous online boards are for! I’ve also noticed that the current trend of “woe is me I need wine” sharing in parenting circles really made me dwell on the negatives, and wasn’t healthy for my relationships with my kids. I think the same can be said for marriage.
I am NOT saying to sweep issues under the rug and never look for support; I’m saying to find appropriate and constructive avenues. And remember to talk to husband, not just about him.
anonM says
I don’t know, but share this frustration. A neighbor just told me her husband has NEVER changed a dirty diaper (they have two kids) or cleaned up kid vomit, and had to rush home because the 2yo was crying at bedtime. I wasn’t sure what to say because that’s just not . . . the expectations in my house.
Anonanonanon says
If an acquaintance does this, they do not transition from acquaintance to friend. It makes me sound like a horrible person, but I have never been able to cultivate a friendship with someone who can’t ever go do anything without kids.
I have one friend with a shi**y husband, and we have the type of relationship where I have said “I will say this once and only once and it is from a place of love not judgment, and I support you 100% no matter what you do and will always be here to listen, but your husband is sh**y and isn’t going to change and you deserve and can find better.” They’re still together, didn’t harm our friendship, and I still listen with compassion.
Cb says
Yeah, I don’t think this colleague will become a pal, mostly because of her reaction to my (admittedly unusual) set-up, which made me feel pretty judged.
Anon says
Oh if she was judgy about your life then I think you can be judgy right back ;)
Pogo says
yeah this was my same point above. would not do with a colleague but an acquaintance, yes.
anon says
I agree that the setting matters a lot. In work settings I tend to stick with “that sounds hard,” or sometimes “I haven’t experienced that, but it sounds tough” if the conversation keeps going. If a person is somewhere along the actual friend spectrum I am more likely to ask blunter and blunter questions about what is going on, because sometimes a friend is there to give a bit of perspective when something shouldn’t be normal, and in that context it’s a lot easier to get across ‘you deserve better’ and not ‘I have it so much better than you.’
I will say I really struggle with the somewhat related dynamic of men at work complaining about their wives. Maybe this is particularly bad in boys club law firms, but it is just awful to sit through. I have one particular male colleague who, I am pretty sure after getting to know him and his wife as a couple over several years, doesn’t actually mean any of the trash he says about her, but he thinks it’s just how men talk. It’s awful.
GCA says
Hmm. it IS hard for some people. the situation and expectations in my home are considerably more balanced, so all I can do is be supportive and not talk about my own situation to avoid comparison. there have got to be options beyond fake or smug!
At a work lunch I would nod and try to be supportive. If this was a much deeper conversation with a close friend I would frame it like this: your partner loves your exploited labor more than he loves you and enabling you to be a whole human beyond parenting duties.
if I was in a position to discuss with or demonstrate to (more understanding) senior male colleagues, i would say some combination of the following:
1. social biases still place the burden of household labor on women, but that is a men problem not a women problem – it’s NOT a reason to mommy-track all women, so as a senior male colleague you should check your biases and learn how to support women in the workplace.
2. the neoliberal capitalist solution to male weaponised incompetence is to throw money at the problem and outsource it all. for folks of a certain generation, that might be your gut reaction, ‘just hire extra childcare’, but it’s not a systemic solution if we want to retain talented women today. so what can we do in our organisation to better support women who find themselves in this position? (*cough* live up to your Athena SWAN commitments *cough*)
Cb says
That’s super helpful, thanks GCA.
Sideeying all the “It’s too hard to schedule a meeting within SWAN hours!” That’s not an Athena SWAN problem, it’s a workload problem!
AwayEmily says
I think you can commiserate without falsely claiming to have the same experience or being smug. My kids are great sleepers, but if a friend or colleague complains to me about having a kid who doesn’t sleep well, I say things like “Yes, getting up in the night is really hard!” or “Everything is so much more difficult when you’re tired.” It’s very possible to engage in a genuine conversation with someone who has a different experience from you without either being smug or dissembling, though I can imagine it can be tough to do in the moment.
Anonymous says
This.
Anon says
Similar to previous poster, I am also planning a birthday party for my two year old from 10-11:30 or 12, and inviting the whole daycare class. This one will be at a park in August. I talked to our local Kona Ice truck guy yesterday, they do fun stuff for birthdays including a personalized sign, music, Hawaiian leis, etc. But he can only come at 11, he’s booked for the rest of the day starting at 11:30. Is 11 am too early for Kona Ice for two year olds?
Anon says
No time is too early for Kona Ice for 2 year olds. ;) But seriously, 11 am is a perfectly reasonable time for this.
NYCer says
+1. Totally fine!
Anon. says
+1 million
Anon says
I have a two year old and wouldn’t mind.
anon says
Being supportive isn’t about proving you have your “ish” together in front of senior male colleagues (seriously, that’s what you were thinking about?!) while someone else is openly struggling with that very issue. You should have simply listened and showed that you cared.
Pride goes before a fall. Be humble and kind because someday YOU might need it. If your life is easy and great, maybe you just got lucky. Stop patting yourself on the back.
Cb says
Yeah, I dunno, I’m in a male-heavy academic department, where I feel like there is still some trepidation about hiring a bunch of young(ish) women… and I feel like being lumped into the complaining about parenting/husbands isn’t a great look? If it was something shared sincerely over a one-to-one coffee, I’d definitely express sympathy but it felt better to move the conversation along.
Anon says
Any recommendations for books for a girl around 3-4? Like most little kids, she loves anything with cute pictures.
Anon says
My 4 year old is currently obsessed with Uni the Unicorn. I feel like all Amy Krause Rosenthal books are probably good.
GCA says
I have to admit I loathe Uni the Unicorn, because its imaginary world is so limited that unicorns apparently only ever dream of little blonde-haired, blue-eyed girls and nobody else. Not even a token boy. (At the time we read it, my then-4yo DS was pretty fond of unicorns, and my kids are decidedly not blonde or blue-eyed.) Also, it felt like half a book. Sorry for the rant of no consequence! That one is seared into my brain…
For picture books – my almost-4 DD likes the Ada Twist, Scientist series; both the Oge Mora books we have (Thank You, Omu! and Saturday); & Loren Long’s Otis books.
Anon says
It does feel like half a book! I hadn’t really noticed the blond haired blue eyed girls (we are white but not that coloring) and that’s totally valid criticism. It’s one of the books my daughter is into that I hate the least, but I think my kid has exceptionally bad taste in books. I fully agree that the Ada/Rosie/Sofia books are great, but have never been able to get my kid into them.
Anon says
Have you read Ada Twist, Scientist and the other ones in that series. Fun to read for adults, great pictures.
Anon says
On Sleepy Hill is beautiful. Better for the pictures than the story.
Anonymous says
My kids both really loved Barbara Cooney books at that age, Miss Rumphius and Ox Cart Man.
Anon says
My daughter liked the wonderbly books at this age.
Anon says
Mine loves octonauts (it’s a book series – was before the show I think), pete the cat, and curious george.
Anon says
OP here–thanks all for the suggestions. Haven’t read any of these and going to check them all out!
Anon says
As the news comes out about the police inaction in Uvalde, I am horrified, nauseated, angry. Let this please be the moment when we do SOMETHING meaningful about gun violence in this country.
If anyone here thought more police or more guns were the answer, I urge you to read the news and understand how regular police abandoned those children.
Anon says
I don’t know why but this recent news has really hit me hard, harder than the tragic loss itself. They did nothing? for an hour? and held the parents back? truly makes it feel like society is falling apart completely.
anon says
I don’t blame them for holding parents back. Letting parents in likely would have resulted in the deaths of those parents too. I think it’s easy to Monday morning quarterback but there may have been tactical decisions at play. Or there may not have! But I think it’s too soon to pass judgment on a police response unless you have training and experience in responding to mass casualty events.
Anonymous says
This. I have news blackouted myself about this today because I’ve doomscrolled too much in the last day and a half and need an emotional break, but it is easy for me to believe that local beat cops in a small town were not equipped or trained for a hostage situation. One does not just storm the castle with a pistol against a guy wearing tactical gear and wielding an assault weapon in a building full of kids. I understand the impulse of parents to go beat down the door and try to rescue their kids, but it’s hard for me to see how letting them into the school would have improved the outcome.
Anon says
I mean I agree but this is why a “good guy with a gun” isn’t a solution and we need real gun control.
Anonymous says
Exactly.
OP says
The expert guidance is to immediately confront the shooter – that’s the standard and they didn’t do it. The press conference today also revealed that there in fact was not a school resource officer that confronted the shooter before he entered the building – contradicting previous reports. https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/05/26/texas-school-shooting-uvalde-victims-live-updates/
It’s clear that police are not competent and willing to stop school shooters, so that can’t be the prevention strategy.
Anon says
More facts keep coming today and ugh it doesn’t sound good. Just makes me so sad.
Anonymous says
I agree 100% with the anon at 2:21 that a “good guy with a gun” is neither a solution nor a prevention strategy, but I also think this type of criticism and armchair quarterbacking while the facts are still coming out is really unhelpful.
Were there resource officers patrolling the perimeter of the school? If the resource officer saw the shooter and stepped aside to give him a clear path to the door, that’s a problem. But once he was in the building how do you apply this “expert guidance”? Let’s game this out: school resource officer shoots center-of-mass with his sidearm, just like s/he’s trained to do. If s/he’s lucky, there’s something s/he can take cover behind, but elementary schools don’t have much in the way of cover beyond the corner of a hallway. Body armor easily stops those bullets. Shooter fires multiple rounds at the resource officer with an AR-15 and continues to a classroom. Resource officer is dead, and the end result for the classroom is the same. (I bet the GOP’s answer to that is that resource officers also need AR-15s and body armor, but I heartily disagree with that escalation.)
Anon says
I was/am horrified, too, but I’m also seeing from other sources that it’s not so cut and dry, and two of the cops lost a daughter and wife in the shooting. This is also second-hand knowledge/hearsay, so I obviously can’t be sure what actually happened, but I caution against all us armchair analysts throwing more fuel on the fire by quick-sharing information before it’s fully clear
Anon says
This is why more guns is never the answer.
Anon says
Exactly. A bad guy with a gun can do a lot of damage before the good guy with a gun gets to him. Maybe he does *less* damage if he’s eventually shot, too, but he’d do EVEN LESS damage if he wasn’t able to obtain a gun in the first place
Anon says
Source? Just haven’t seen any headlines yet (I might live under a rock?) and it’s counter to what I read earlier in the week. I read yesterday afternoon-ish that the police might have appeared inactive because they were trying to keep him barricaded in the one classroom so they could focus on evacuating the rest of the school vs escalating him. I’m guessing what I read wasn’t true? I forget what source that was in but I only read “main” ones – CNN, WSJ, times, otherwise.
Anon says
It’s the top headline on CNN currently…
Anon says
I’m sure we need to hear more about what actually happened and hopefully there were good reasons why the response seemed so delayed or ineffective, but sounds like the police need more active shooter drills than kids do.
Anon says
Our whole family has Covid. We were all really sick and are fortunately on the mend, but my 4 year old twins might kill each other before our quarantine ends. One in particular is picking unprovoked with her sister and idk what to do about it, tips?
Boston Legal Eagle says
Separate them as much as you can. When my kids (not twins but close in age) have too much together time, they start fighting. I think it’s normal, but certainly annoying to listen to. Also, keep them outside or switch up the activities, like constantly. And lots of screen time.
AwayEmily says
Yes to outdoors. My kids fight like 80% less when they are outside. Some non-traditional ideas: scootering on a college campus (esp on a weekend when it’s empty), bringing treats on a walk to incentivize them to do a longer one (we do “jelly bean walks”), let them paint outside.
Pogo says
split them up, take walks, play in the yard.
Sensory play – anything where one cannot ‘steal’ another’s toy or ‘break’ another’s creation. During our quarantine we did cloud dough, kinetic sand, water beads.
Painting is a good one – everyone gets their own giant piece of paper or posterboard and can do what they want on their own paper. Coloring is fraught in my house because someone always needs the crayon that the other one has, but painting doesn’t seem to cause that issue.
OP says
DH and I are also both working otherwise of course we’d split them up. But we’re taking turns
Anon says
We totally split up our 4yo twins up even when there’s only one parent on duty. “If you can’t play nicely with your sister you need to go find somewhere else to play.”
Anon says
Screen time for both or movie for one (parent 1 supervises while working) and parent 2 takes child 2 on walk/outdoors and then switch. We ended up getting Disney plus when in the exact same situation.
Anonymous says
Order water beads right now. Soak them immediately when they arrive. Give each child a giant bowl of water beads snd some Tupperwares and scoopers- on opposite sides of whatever outside space you have access to. Separate rooms if you don’t have a yard or balcony.
Anonymous says
My 5 year old has slept upstairs in his own room for 2+ years. For the last two weeks, he’s been coming in our room in the middle of the night and saying he’s scared. I make him a pallet on the floor and he sleeps there. This isn’t the worst thing, but is there a better way I could be handling this? He’s having some stuff at school that’s being dealt with. He also has younger brothers so it’s probably an adjustment to that. There’s not much I can do to change his circumstances. His little brothers just started sleeping thought the night so I really need to get back to sleeping all night myself. Thanks for any advice.
OP says
We sleep in the only downstairs bedroom, in case that wasn’t clear.
Anonymous says
Set up the sleeping space in your room before you go to bed, and instruct him not to wake you up when he comes in.
same! says
I don’t know the answer, but my 4 year old is the same. ~60% of the time she’s also sort if in these deep dreams when she gets in to our bed. She sort of thrashes and talks nonsense. Like, last night was “Dad I don’t want a ribbon!” – ?!? -that’s when I knew she was def still asleep. Is this a night terror? She’s not screaming – she’s using words/phrases that just are illogical in the moment, clearly snippets of a dream. She’s also woken up soaked in sweat 2-3x in the last few weeks, but no illness or fever.
I sometimes wonder if my parents had absolutely no idea what they were doing, either. Probably so.
anonM says
Do you have blackout curtains? Our 4yo was starting to come in our room every night. We got blackouts actually for DD’s early rising, but it actually worked more on the 4yo waking in the middle of the night for whatever reason! Might be worth trying!
More Sleep Would Be Nice says
Tell me good stories about EI/Therapy. My 17-month-old isn’t walking (is cruising), and only has 5-6 words. I think in part because he was low birth weight and had trouble gaining weight (full term at 38 weeks, no complications), the ped wants him assessed for EI and a neuro consult. My gut tells me he’s fine and needs a push but I also am a bit scared.
Anon says
my son did not have many words until he was around 2 when seemingly overnight he had a huge vocabulary and spoke with perfect clarity. I think there’s nothing at all wrong with an assessment, it can only help, but for what it’s worth – some kids just develop differently.
Anon says
Yeah mine walked at 18 months and was clearly just lazy and cautious (still basically her personality years later, but there’s nothing physically or neurologically wrong with her).
Anne-on says
I literally cannot think of a downside for an assesment (taking cost for healthcare out of the equation). Worst case scenario, you have confirmation that there is an issue, and start therapy early when it can result in some really helpful gains. Best case scenario, everything is fine and you continue on as you’ve been.
I say this as a parent with a kid who has ADHD/ASD – early therapy for OT/feeding was SO beneficial. To the kids, it’s play time with a fun grownup and the therapists will be able to teach you a ton of tools/tips to help your kid.
Anon. says
Agreed. Either you get the help you need or you get confirmation that you shouldn’t worry about it.
And my 17 month old who has 5-6 words is now almost 5 and will not stop talking and has a pretty impressive vocabulary, mostly picked up from Wild Kratts.
Anon says
Yes agree. I live in a community with excellent and free early intervention services and probably 1/3 or more of families I know have utilized them or at least done an assessment. If you’re feeling any stigma, let it go – get the help if it’s there and if you don’t need it, great!
Anon says
Hi, we got referred for EI around 2 because DD had very few words at 18 months and they hadn’t improved meaningfully by 2. She and I would get frustrated trying to communicate with each other, particularly because she would physically drag me (she’s very strong and it was either lose my arm or go with) to try and indicate her meaning. Therapy has been great. We had weekly speech therapy sessions with the county and then transitioned to the public school special ed services program at 3. We’ve been doing preschool services (a teacher comes to the house once a week to work on sounds and then she sees the speech therapist at the elementary school once a week), and they both coordinate with DD’s regular preschool teacher so that there is consistency in how we are addressing (e.g., prompting to remember to say all her sounds, common errors to correct, etc.). She’s starting K in the fall (with an IEP for speech services) and her speech therapist will pull her out twice a week during “quiet time” to keep doing sessions. For her, what was initially a speech delay turned into a sound production issue (once she started talking we found out she was saying things wrong) and now she doesn’t stop talking but still doesn’t have certain sounds she should have. Has not hindered her ability to communicate with peers or people who know her one bit (if you don’t know her, it can be confusing sometimes). Definitely recommend, and to be honest, the not knowing is scarier than the knowing, so just go through the process and see what you learn.
Anon says
I took my kid around the same age to a speech pathologist and it was awesome. Like you, my gut said this’ll be fine (and it totally was). But it was amazing to have a professional spend an hour with my kid and teach me some skills to encourage language development. If you go and your gut is right, you won’t regret going, because honestly, it’s pretty fun outing for the kid. If you go and your kid needs extra help, then well done, you are in the right place. I see no bad outcome honestly.
Anon says
I previously asked for suggestions for a trip, and we are going to NYC based on recs here. Someone suggested a pizza tour – any particular tour provider and/or neighborhood? (Kids are 9, 11 and 13 if helpful.). Thanks!
Anonymous says
Many years ago we used Scott’s Pizza Tour and really enjoyed it!
Octo(ber)Mom says
Checking in on the other October moms. Emma? Maybe Cornellian? Others?