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Anon says
What does your family eat for dinner on a typical week? Do you make a separate meal for your kids? How often do you get takeout?
I usually make a Blue Apron meal for DH and I and then make a separate meal for DS (chicken nuggets, etc) but I think that by not exposing him to new foods we have made him a picky eater. I like Blue Apron because the meals are delicious and I don’t have to meal plan, make the grocery list, etc but not sure if it’s still working for our family.
Anon says
We make a separate meal for our toddler every night. She basically rotates between nuggets, meatballs, and mac and cheese (with puréed veggies added in), with whatever fruit we think she’ll eat that day. I absolutely have the same concern about encouraging pickiness but every time I try to stray from this it creates a massive meltdown which we just can’t deal with on normal evenings. Supposedly at daycare she does better so for now I’m just not worrying about this. My spouse and I also eat late, so logistically not easy to combine adult and kid dinners. (Whomever doesn’t do pickup works a few hours later and then adult dinner cooking doesn’t start until after kid bedtime).
Anon says
Same meal eaten together, but something quick and easy: chicken and veggie stir fry over brown rice, quesadillas, pasta, baked chicken + roasted veg over brown rice, soups or chilis, breakfast for dinner, casseroles, slow cooker meat.
Lots and lots of sheet pan meals that I can quickly throw in the oven a come back to ready to eat in 30 mins.
Most meals are lean protein + veg + grain + bagged salad on the side. Pre-kids I ate really healthy, now preference goes to convenience but try to make healthy choices (whole wheat pasta + shrimp instead of regular spaghetti and meatballs; whole wheat tortillas for quesadillas for example).
Anon says
Oh forgot to add: Friday night is pizza night (sometimes take out, sometimes frozen). Saturday night is probably 50 / 50 if we have a babysitter or were hosting family friends (or were all at a family friend’s house). Usually a cookout in the summer.
Sunday we usually, but not always, eat with the grandparents.
Cb says
We had a major meal kit stage and started out with a separate dinner, but then my mom scolded us, and we switched to breaking things into components. So we started serving the meal in a small portion, with something he was guaranteed to like – some smoked salmon, fish fingers, etc.
Now I’ve got a meal matrix – portable Monday, pasta Tuesday, breakfast Wednesday, Asian Thursday, pizza Friday, and we all eat the same thing.
anon says
Kids and adults eat the same meal, usually home cooked. I tend to try to cook extra and freeze leftovers to make things easier some nights. Pizza or burritos takeout about once a week.
Expanding my kids’ tastes took a ton of effort, but has been totally worth it. One tipped for curries and similar: I started by dumping a can of pineapple with all the juice to into a curry and similar dishes and slowly dialing back.
Cb says
I do a dal tadka that my son’s obsessed with. I left the spices off at first but gradually added them in.
Anonymous says
I love Blue Apron, but it simply isn’t enough food for us. A typical week for us is: a crock pot meal (usually chicken), Tacos, meatloaf/burgers/sloppy Joe’s, date night – adults eat out, kids eat mac n cheese, then pizza on Friday. I try to pair a vegetable three times a week but I don’t always succeed. Their lunches are chicken nuggets and fruit. I don’t make a separate dinner meal for my kids but they also don’t always eat what I cook. I don’t think you’re “making” your kid picky by not exposing them to new foods. I didn’t start trying new foods until I was in my mid 20s. I exposed my oldest to a lot of different foods but the next two basically eat chicken nuggets and mac n cheese. It’s not my favorite but it’s fine; they’re on the growth chart. I spend enough time coming up with meal plans that I think are well rounded. I can’t really be fussed if they do or don’t eat it. Tl; dr – do what feels right to you. Change it up if you want to, or don’t! You’re not ruining your kid :)
Cb says
Yeah, I was a picky eater until I moved abroad and salads with chicken strips were no longer an option. I’m a pretty adventurous eater now, I don’t like anything creamy but can manage most things (brussels sprouts, asparagus excepted)
Anonymous says
We do same meal with 3 kids and a few allergies it’s easier to have one meal gameplan. We do a snack right at or right after daycare pick up and then cook while they play. DH and I take turns cooking.
Monday – Sheet pan dinner – this is me. I chop everything on Sunday night so I just have to dump it on a sheet pan, drizzle olive oil/season and put in the oven for 20 mins. When they were little I chopped theirs small after it was cooked, preschool/early elementary involved liberal use of ketchup or ranch to dip roast potatoes etc.
Tuesday – taco night – DH. When they were little we just put samples of the taco filling on their plate or chopped it up and called it taco salad
Wednesday – pasta night – DH – varies shape and type (dried vs fresh) and tomato sauce or pesto. 20 mins to cook max
Thursday – something seafood/fish related. I have 2-3 go to recipes or sometimes I rotate in something new.
Friday – take out
Saturday – homemade pizza – DH makes crust and I do toppings. Kids love making their own pizzas.
Sunday – either dinner at my parents or breakfast for supper (usually quiche/omelettes/pancakes depending on the mood) or soup (winter) or grilled chicken (summer)
Key is that each meal has at least two things that the kids like, and sticking with a theme helps narrow the figuring out what to do part.
Cook does daycare pick up around 5-5:15 and starts food. Non-cook rolls in the door at 6:30 to eat immediately . That means we each get to work later twice during the week. We alternate Friday pick up. Sometimes whoever picks up gets the kids take out on the way home and DH and I order date night food later on. Or one person does daycare pick up and the other comes in at 6:30 with food for all.
govtattymom says
We similarly used to feed the kids a different meal but were also worried about pickiness. Now we eat the same meal on the weekdays. We keep things fairly simple: spaghetti with meat sauce, chicken parm, breakfast, tacos, grilled chicken, etc. We always make a veggie as well and are lucky that are kids enjoy broccoli, squash, zucchini, and peas. On the weekends, we get takeout and often make mac and cheese or chicken nuggets for the kids, as they are not big fans of the middle eastern and asian food we often order. Our kiddos are good about eating a variety of things but are not very open to spicy or unusual food.
An.On. says
When we did our meal subscription, we’d always make our kid a little dish of their own from our portions. Most of the meals our kid would like at least some of it. Usually the sides, tbh, so lots of veggies and couscous. I think we had ~2-3 of those types of meals weekly, so not our sole source of dinners.
For now we go back and forth about meals – sometimes we’ll make stuff we know our kid won’t like and will have something else ready for them to eat, and sometimes we’ll all eat together. If they’re eating their own thing, it’s usually very easy: veggie tray, PBJ sandwiches, mac&cheese, spaghetti, hot dogs, etc. If we’re eating something a little different (i.e., indian spiced veggie fritters from smitten kitchen, haha), we’ll give them a taste since they always want to be eating what we’re eating, but generally we know when we’ll need to have a backup meal ready.
Even our kid, who is naturally a really good eater and always tries stuff, currently gravitates towards easy “kids” foods. I’m not worried about it, I’ve always gotten the general impression that toddlers go through all kinds of picky food phases and it doesn’t mean much.
Anonymous says
Same meal eaten together on weeknights, home cooked most of the time but sometimes something that we doctor up a little from Trader Joe’s we’re feeling lazy. I’m lucky that my kid is not really a picky eater. He does sometimes just not really want to eat because he’s tired, but I don’t really care that much when that happens, I’m okay with him just sitting at the table for the time together. On weekends, we usually do a separate toddler dinner and then an at-home date night dinner after bedtime.
anon says
In my experience, younger kids don’t eat much for dinner no matter what it is (my kids at least eat a huge breakfast, morning snack, and regular sized lunch, and then a small afternoon snack and essentially nothing for dinner). So we make food that DH and I like and serve it to everyone.
The younger kids pick at it and complain, and if they are really hungry they may always have a piece of sourdough bread and grass-fed butter, a banana, or some whole milk yogurt. The older kids pick at it and complain, and then eventually eat larger amounts and second helpings and then finally you overhear them tell their friends what good cooks their parents are. :-)
We did meal kits when our family was smaller but now we like to cook bigger meals and have leftovers. My best tip (if you go that direction) is plan the whole meal – sides, veggies, etc., not just the main dish. Favorites lately are:
instant pot veggie-heavy beef stew, bagged salad, bread + butter
sweet potato black bean tacos with shredded chicken thighs and lime crema
chicken shawarma with pita, tomatoes, cucumber, feta, tzatziki and hummus
anon says
This is exactly how it works at our house. Toddler rarely eats dinner but he’s still on his growth curve. And we have to plan the sides, or else there’s no veggies.
Anonymous says
Your first paragraph is an excellent point.
Boston Legal Eagle says
We do what you do, with a meal kit meal for us (make 4 portions, use the second night for easy leftovers) and kids get their kid meal – yes, they mostly like kid food but our goal is to eat together as a family on weeknights, not necessarily to eat the same food. We often do have pasta meal together, and some variation of tacos (kids might just have the tortilla and cheese). Take out Fridays and Sundays usually. I’m a fairly adventurous eater now but wasn’t as a kid.
Anon says
Honestly, my picky 6 year old eats a bagel and fruit most days (which is also the same thing she eats for breakfast…she likes what she likes!). We’ve exposed her to tons of foods, but she’s very picky and she can make her own bagels now so we just let her do that.
We do takeout too much, probably on average ordering in twice a week, plus then eating leftover restaurant food for another meal or two. One of the takeouts is usually pizza, and kiddo does eat that.
Mary Moo Cow says
My kids are 8 and 6, so we don’t do separate meals anymore. (I think we stopped when the oldest was a toddler and we had a new baby…it’s blurry and I don’t quite remember the timeline.)
Depending on how old your kid is, I wouldn’t stress too much about him being a picky eater. One thing I’ve learned from years of following this board is that most kids go through phases, of varying length, and varying starting ages, between 2 and 8, where they are called picky eaters. Mine have; instead of trying please them, I try scaffolding, I try just making them eat the darn meal, I try giving them two meals a day they really like, or one dinner a week they like, and just throw my hands up.
We cycle through meal delivery kits. They’re good for me when I’m in a rut (usually once a year at the start of a new season and I have no idea what to eat now that I can’t grill anymore, for example.) We eat too much take out for my tastes, but this too, is a phase. We usually have fajitas, roasted or grilled meat meal, and pizza one night a week each, breakfast for dinner, hot sandwiches, and stir fry a few times a month each. It’s boring. I try to have a new recipe about once a month, and if it is a hit, fold it into the rotation going forward.
Anonymous says
I am too lazy to cook or even heat up entirely separate meals. My husband is doing keto, our kid is picky, and I would really rather be vegetarian, so it’s challenging to find something we will all enjoy. I make dinners that I can easily customize for all of us, like rice bowls where I can swap out the cauliflower rice for my husband, or tacos where everyone can put on what they like or eat the components separately. When possible, I will make something with leftovers that can be repurposed as part of the next day’s dinner. Crockpot chicken carnitas can then become quesadilla filling, BBQ chicken sliders, or topping for BBQ chicken pizza or a BBQ chicken chopped salad. On pizza night I make one with a keto crust and one with a regular crust, which gives us enough leftovers for a second dinner.
GCA says
Same meal eaten together, usually something simple because we’re then on the way to one evening activity or another: rice + stir-fry or sheet pan protein and veggies + bagged salad. Or pasta and a veggie. Crockpot soup/ stew and bread. That sort of thing.
Weekends can be more elaborate. We’ve done family hot pot at home, dim sum outings, Ethiopian takeout, etc. Takeout or eating out happen maybe once or twice a month.
DH and I have fairly ‘adventurous’ palates – this is part heritage, part temperament – and the kids just get exposed to whatever we want to eat. We intentionally make or order at least one thing we know the kids will eat, but otherwise make what we want.
Anon says
Our youngest is almost 2 with serious food allergies so I cook everything from scratch. It is really difficult so everyone eats the same thing because I don’t have energy after that to cook separately for the older one (4). I usually make something I know everyone will like, or make sure there are leftovers that they will eat. Fool proof meal if they refuse everything is rice wrapped in gim/seaweed (FWIW I am Korean and this is a fairly common kids meal for picky eaters).
Cerulean says
I have a 2.5 year old. We all have the same meal, but keep it quite simple during the week. Pasta, eggs, (omelette, quiche, or frittata form) stir fries, soup, sheet pan meals, and tacos are all in heavy rotation. We always have at least one or two sides she’s into on the table (yogurt is a big one. The kid is probably 30% yogurt) and offer things deconstructed so she can pick and choose. Sometimes she eats a ton and sometimes she barely touches anything.
Making something different for our kid feels like more work to me than doing it this way.
TheElms says
Generally speaking we do a HomeChef meal 3 nights a week, pasta one night or something else I cook from scratch, pizza one night, breakfast one night, and take out one night. 5 year old is moderately picky but generally eats what we eat with modifications plus a fruit, unless I discover something is much spicier than I anticipated or I can tell its just not a good day for her then she has a choice of plain pasta, pbj, or scrambled eggs. In terms of modifications if its a meat dish with a sauce I generally leave a portion of the meat plain and give it to her with ketchup. Same with the vegetables if they have seasoning on them. If a dish is mixed (like a stir fry) I separate out the component parts for her (but I cook them together and keep the overall spice level low and my husband can add more of the sauce or hot sauce to his portion if he wants).
2 year old is extremely picky so she gets what we are eating on her plate for exposure (never eats), with the same fruit her sister has (never eats), and a safe food (we only have 4 at the moment and they are all a little inconsistent but she typically gets one of fish sticks, pizza, rice, or shredded cheese). If our 5 year old asks for her sister’s safe food and we have enough she can have some too.
Anon says
Ha, your first paragraph is basically word for word what we do. Sometimes we do Everyplate rather than Home Chef.
Currently have a 2 year old and 9 month old so we’re getting the 2 person boxes. I put really small portions on their plates and usually add a fruit or toddler approved carb (and purée for the baby). I think food volume wise next step will be adding a really simple side salad to every meal (I want more vegetables anyway) and then moving on to the 4 person meals.
Clementine says
We cook and only get takeout or pizza maybe 2x/month. 3 kids (8,4,1), husband, me, and an au pair. I have gotten really good at making meals where everyone will eat the pieces that they like to get a whole meal. Last night, everyone actually ate the same thing (turkey burgers with watermelon and oven fries), but what’s more common is I’ll do a protein (grilled chicken, baked fish, tofu or eggs, red meat about 1x/week max), a carb (rice, lately lots of baked potatoes, naan from the freezer, pasta), and veggies (lots of salads and frozen veg steamed). Sauce is done on the side. Trader Joe’s frozen meals and Kirkland brand chicken bites and boxed Mac are our ‘oh no, everyone has an event’ meals that everyone will eat.
I don’t really care if people eat just protein + carb or skip the sauce. I consider this cooking one meal. I’ve never done meal kits because I think I personally can do better with health/cost/efficiency.
Anonymous says
We cook one meal but I always make sure there is something included in the meal that a kid likes well enough to get full. Kids are kindergarten and third grade. Third grader is not picky (has loved broccoli from age 6 months, mixed foods and sauces no problem etc) and the other, who we treated exactly the same, is quite picky. We eat pretty simple homemade meals, meat 1-2x a week, occasionally 3x. I currently usually offer the option to eat the components separately – so I’ll leave some beans or tofu plain for example. I don’t prepare anything separately but am happy to leave something out during prep to be eaten plain. During the week, rice bowl with veggies and tofu (option to eat each component separately), tacos (beans, veggies, ground chicken etc), one night is usually pasta with an interesting sauce for those who wish, often have an egg night (usually with rice and veg but sometimes more of a breakfast for dinner). Soup with homemade bread or crackers. Homemade Indian food. Meat on Friday nights for Shabbat usually- sometimes something fun from a cookbook (going through Iraqi and Persian cookbooks now) but sometimes just grilled.
Anon says
Somewhat non-responsive to your question, but here’s a recipe recommendation that I made last night. It truly took 20 minutes as promised by the recipe (which is never the case!) It’s from an insta person called mediterranean.diet.plan – Creamy 1 pan salmon and beans. It took me about a week to actually make it, because I kept forgetting to take the salmon from the freezer into the fridge each morning. But I made it last night – and had the cold leftovers today for lunch. (I love cold salmon and would never heat up – it’s uses coconut milk which stayed creamy when cold). (This sounds like I’m a bot, I swear that I’m a real mom with 2 children – only one ate the salmon, the other was interested but ultimately refused the “pink chicken”).
Anonymous says
I make one dinner for everyone. Ultimately it’s less work, and I think it’s good for the kids to eat real adult meals.
Here’s how I make it work:
*I don’t cook on Fridays or Saturdays, in order to give myself a break. We order in, go out as a family, or do kid food as a special treat if we have a babysitter.
*I always serve fruit at dinner, so that the kids have something on their plates that they can be excited about no matter what. I also find that they’re more open to trying new things if they have something they’re guaranteed to like in the mix.
*I make dinners that incorporate kid preferences/ needs. For example, I’ll make a kale sauce pasta (NYT Cooking has a decent recipe) because it’s palatable to me and DH, but also ensures that the kids eat a veggie (it’s one of the few green things they consume). Would it be my first choice of dinner? No, because it’s kind of boring and I like spicy food, but that’s ok.
*I prepare for rejection. They don’t like everything, and sometimes they hate a recipe that they loved the week prior! It’s incredibly frustrating, but it’s part of the deal. Usually we just let them gripe, and maybe help them remove the “salad” (i.e., anything green or vegtable-ish) from their plates. If I can tell they’re actually quite hungry, our one accommodation, which we try to use sparingly, is a piece of toast with peanut butter.
*I’ve learned over time what works. Cooking is personal, and it requires trial and error when little ones are involved. My kids are 3 and 5, and I now have a good rhythm in terms of recipes I can crank out fast that check all our boxes in terms of taste, etc. But it took time.
Good luck! I do think it’s worth it. My 3yo now tells me sometimes that she loves me and loves her dinner!
Anonfor says
WWYD – my MIL is a narcissist edition. I’ve tried my best with her, but have shifted communications responsibility to DH in recent years. She is now mad at me for supposedly not giving her enough time with her grandchild (we get together every other week or so) and “not trusting her” because we only ask her to babysit periodically. She basically ruined my Mother’s Day with this stuff and has been calling DH to complain about me. We have plans to go on a trip together this summer – can I cancel it? I almost feel like she’s playing chicken to test us and would hold this against me forever if we cancel.
Anon says
I’d cancel. Life’s too short.DH should say “mom, you’ve complained about my wife so much that it’s clear a vacation isn’t a good idea.”
anon says
+1 MIL is going to complain about OP no matter what OP does. Might as well at least not have to sacrifice and hear complaints as well.
Anonymous says
I would cancel. I dislike group travel even with people I like and get along well with, but, you know, I’ll suck it up occasionally for those people. There is no way that I would use my valuable vacation time and money to take a trip with an asshole.
anon says
I wouldn’t cancel YET, but I do think it would be 100 percent appropriate for your DH to say, “Mom, if you keep complaining about Wife and how she does things, then I don’t think traveling together this summer is a good idea.” Then if she keeps at it, I think you’re well within your rights to call it off.
Also, how are you finding out that she’s whining about you? Is this stuff that your DH is sharing with you? While it’s good to know how she really feels, it also seems to be stressing you out and not leading anywhere good.
Anon says
I would cancel. Also have a narcissistic MIL. They do a beach vacation every year that they expect we should be at every year and my husband declines every year. I just don’t have enough PTO to waste it on a vacation that would drive me insane.
Also, if she truly is narcissistic, you’re never going to “win her over”. You could go on the vacation and problems will happen there or something else will happen afterwards for her to complain about. My MIL has always found a reason to complain about me and a lot of it has to do with me “taking away her son”.
Anonymous says
Why would you make plans to travel
With someone mean to you? Tell your husband you don’t care to hear her complaints either.
Anon says
I would cancel. My FIL has been really mean to me over the years (he’s an unpleasant person in general but especially rude to me). I agreed to go on vacation with them for their 50th wedding anniversary because it was important to my husband, and the trip idea sounded fun. The trip was terrible, and I’ll never travel with them again. I’d be fine with my husband taking the kids on a trip with them though.
Anon says
Paging Seafinch (and crossposting because I’m not sure if you’re on both pages these days)! I need baby name help and your taste over the years seems perfect for what we need. We need a boy name that works in Russian and English and ideally one that would be easily recognizable/understandable in other European countries as well (family and friends are scattered) while also not being in the top 10 in the U.S. – I wouldn’t want our kid to have the same name as four others in his class. We don’t want a name that SCREAMS Russian, like Sergei – we’d prefer something that works really naturally in both English and Russian.
Last name is Polish and similar to “Larinsky” (masking it slightly for privacy). I’m OK with alliteration as long as it’s not super cutesy. Our taste skews classic for sure (no “creative” spellings, please), but we’re striking out on good options. Top contender at the moment is Alexander. If Seafinch or anyone else can help, would be so grateful!
Cb says
I’m biased because I have one, but Theodore works well across languages. But maybe it’s Fyodor in Russian? I definitely remember meeting Polish Theos in Krakow.
Alexander is lovely (I’m married to one of those) and has such lovely nickname potential.
Bette says
Theodore is a top ten name in the US currently. We know three kids named that under 2.
Anon says
Andrei
Vicky Austin says
Ooh, I think this would be great. Alexander is a solid choice too though OP!
Anon says
I knew a couple of Dimitris growing up, and I’ve always considered that a name that’s easy for English speakers, but it is pretty slavic. Would Michael be an easy crossover between languages?
Anon says
Lev
Anon says
Maks (alternates: Maxim, Max), Erik, Pasha, Pavel, Luka, David
Anon says
We had similar name constraints/requirements and my husband suggested Maxim and I replied “You mean like the magazine you probably had in your bathroom in 1999?”
Needless to say, that name came right off the list.
Anon says
Yeah I just think of the magazine too
Anonymous says
that’s what I said about Maxim at first, but I have one anyway. I do kinda wish we’d spelled it Maksim, but oh well. he goes by Max 90% of the time, and that is an insanely popular nickname in our area. I don’t know any other Maxims, but plenty of Maxwell, Maximus, Maximilian, and just plain Max.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I was going to say Alexander – Sasha as the nickname for the Russians, or Alex for the English. Maybe Peter, Max or Mark.
GCA says
What about Michael (Michal/ Mikhail, Misha) or Nicolai (Nikolai, Nico)?
Anonymous says
I like Alexander.
CCLA says
Nikolai, Alexei, and Alexander and its various nicknames
Clementine says
Friends in similar positions went with Liev, Oscar/Oskar, and Alexander.
Anon says
Victor
Alexei
Peter
AwayEmily says
My elementary kids have a FIVE DAY weekend starting tomorrow and so we are doing some one-on-one trips with them! I’m taking the kindergartener on an overnight to Niagara Falls tonight and my husband is taking the second grader camping on Monday (the toddler is too young to care and so doesn’t get to go anywhere). I’m VERY excited for all of this.
Cb says
That’s so fun! I only have 1 kid but I love the solo trips. T and my husband just got back to a trip to his uncle’s, and they both came home raving about it. T and I went to Lisbon for two weeks last summer, and I think we’re going to go one city over for an art exhibition.
Anon says
You know, it’s really nice to see someone saying they’re really really looking forward to time off with their kids. I’m a little overloaded on people complaining about weekends or how they can’t wait to go back to work to get away from their kids, even when they have pretty objectively nice lives.
anon says
Agreed! My mom always said that if you don’t like hanging out with your kids, it is your own fault – you are the adult and can calibrate your own expectations and control the environment. Of course I have moments of exasperation, irritation and outright anger with my kids, but if I am not enjoying some broader aspect of life with them, I can change it!
Anon2 says
+1 I actually thought this post was going a different direction when I saw “five day weekend”. I have the summers home with my three kids and I LOVE it. They don’t do more than a week or two of camps, so it’s a lot of togetherness. We fall into our rhythm, which usually involves slow mornings at home and afternoon adventures (like, to the library or swimming hole or Costco, nothing crazy) and a few times a month we sprinkle in big things like zoos or museums. My kids are awesome day trippers and we have so much fun!
I totally get the burn-out aspect, but I’m also over the “mommy needs wine” culture that is so prevalent online.
OP, have so much fun, I’m excited for you!
Anon says
Agreed! There are certainly times I’m over my kids’ nonsense but the vast majority of the time I really enjoy spending time with them. If this board has taught me anything, I parent differently than most (I’m way more relaxed about type of food they eat, screen time, schedules, and types of toys, I almost never interfere in sibling spats and let them work it out themselves, I support “risky” play that isn’t dangerous but does let them push their limits, but yet stricter about other things – early bedtime (and naps when age appropriate) is something we don’t compromise on because then we have cranky kids, kids get a decent amount of screen time but only at home – no iPads or anything when out and about , lots of opportunities for active play to get out the excess every that leads to misbehavior or meltdowns, our outings are a mix of kid and non kid focus – they’re learning how to be out and about in all sorts of settings, but we make sure that we fit in something they like; we eat one meal and only do “kids food” as a treat but also make sure that part of a meal is always something they like – basically we expect them to be able to come join different experiences but also set them up for success) and as a result they’re pretty go with the flow and fun to be with!
Anon says
I love this, and this is exactly how I perceive myself to be, and hope I am as a parent :) But I agree — I genuinely love spending time with my kids, they are fun people to be around, and they get along as a sibling group really, really well.
anon says
I think this is entirely a function of the kids’ ages. Long weekends with my kid are great since age 5 or so. Before that, long weekends were a slog.
Anon says
I would say 4 but yeah.
Anon says
Everyone is different for sure, but my best friend who has a three-year-old and a four-month-old just told me that she too was getting sick of Big Little Feelings Instagram complaining – things like “who survived Easter with the kids” when my friend said she had an awesome Easter with her kids. Maybe it’s worse online than IRL.
Anon says
I think BLF is pretty different. They have insane wealth, don’t work traditional office jobs and have a lot of household help, so I think that’s part of why people are annoyed when they complain about how hard their lives are. Even by the standards of upper middle class women, they’re insanely privileged.
I also think there’s a big difference between venting anonymously online and complaining on your public business page (especially if you’re ostensibly a parenting expert!). The children of influencers will some day be able to see all their negativity, and that’s not true of anyone posting here.
Anon2 says
Different for everyone, but I think this mindset is self-fulfilling. If you tell yourself that babies and toddlers are a drag, then yah, they will be. But they also have lots of sweet qualities and if you let yourself be “in it” with them, you can enjoy it. Plus, they still nap so you get quiet time each day! I have an 8, 6 and 3 but have had summers with them all their lives and it’s always been good.
I also think having a lot of time straight really helps you settle into their pace and shift you into “okay this is what’s happening, let’s enjoy it” mode, rather than dipping in and out when you know there’s an end coming
Anon says
see mine were actually more fun at 2/3. now at just turned 6 we have a lot more sibling rivalry (twins) and no nap time to break up the day. i’d love to take a solo trip with each of them, and do plan on doing it some day, but need them to be a bit more mature so there aren’t a million fights over who goes first, etc.
AwayEmily says
The rivalry stuff is one reason why we decided to start doing these solo trips a year ago…the kids (6 and 8) love each other but also have a lot of conflict. So we made a very deliberate attempt to carve out more solo time (we also do a couple of afternoons a month where we split them up). It’s helped in a couple of ways. First, it’s good for us (the parents) to have extended periods where we are not refereeing arguments or getting overwhelmed by bickering and can just enjoy our kid. And second, I think the undivided attention makes them feel more secure and happy so that when they go back to sibling time they are less likely to be competitive/jealous/etc.
Anon says
At 6 we still do quiet downtime for an hour in the afternoons most weekends
Anonymous says
Eh, I have a couple of nephews (both with ADHD; one probably also has ODD and the other is likely also on the autism spectrum) who are just a LOT. I wouldn’t blame their parents for being exhausted by weekends with them. Even two hours is more than I can handle with the constant meltdowns, physical outbursts, manipulative behavior, etc.
Mary Moo Cow says
That sounds wonderful! Yay to you and your husband for making it work. We need to do something like this in my family, because now that my kids are 8 and 6, it seems feasible and even enjoyable! Please report back on how it goes!
AwayEmily says
I will! We did similar trips (with opposite kids) a year ago and it was a ton of fun — especially now that they can get involved with the planning and really take ownership.
GCA says
Aww, that’s so fun! Enjoy. I feel like age 5 is when 1:1 parent-kid trips start to get really nice because they have lots of interests and can hold a real conversation.
anon says
That sounds so fun, and how nice to have the 1-on-1 time with each kid!
CCLA says
I love 1:1 trips, hope you have a fantastic time!
I take each kid for a weekend starting right after their fifth bday and annually thereafter. May even up it to twice a year now that they’re older (but not too old to want to hang out with me!), but those weekends together are so fun. I do also love me some trips away from my kids, all about balance…but starting around age 5, time together became so much more enjoyable on the whole.
Anon says
I only have one, but really cherish our annual one-on-one trips too. Early elementary school definitely feels like a sweet spot where they’re so fun and easy to travel with but they still like you.
Anon says
It’s fun at that age because they’re so excited by anything new!
Anon says
I officially have a kid on summer break for the first time! It’s bittersweet, she’s excited for summer travels and activities but most of her friends are leaving town for the whole summer (#collegetownproblems) so she’s also feeling kind of sad.
Two summer camp gear questions:
1) Bug spray that works for ticks? Preferably no DEET but will use that if it’s the only thing that works. And dumb question, but do you spray their skin or just their clothes? We’re not a super outdoorsy family and I’ve never actually used bug spray on a kid, but my kid is doing a nature camp this summer and it seems essential (we just had orientation and the directors said “prepare for ticks!”)
2) Closed toed water shoes that cannot be Crocs. Are Keens the answer here, or is there something better?
Thanks!
Anon says
Spray their skin, too. Off! has a line of sensitive skin/clean feel sprays that we like. I’d stay away from the natural/essential oils options, as those never worked for us. For shoes, we like Natives. Keen is comfy, but they get so stinky!
Anonymous says
We use DEET, but DH informed me this week not to use over 30% directly on my skin. So I got 10% unscented for the kids, 25% for me. For ticks, yes also spray her clothes. You can get 40% “woodsman” – that’s what we use on our clothes when we go to tick country. I just bought my 3 year olds Natives, but for an older kid I’d probably splurge on Keens.
Anonymous says
20% picardin is effective against ticks. https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-bug-repellent/
Mary Moo Cow says
I like Natrepel, and it comes in wipes. Even with replant, though, you should do a tick check when they come home (especially pesky areas like sock line, underarms, etc.) (DH grew up in the country and ticks are no big deal to him, but I absolutely flipped the first time I found one on myself, as an adult. Now that we live near woods and are in them frequently, I’m trying to be better about tick checks.)
For shoes, one of my kids likes Natives; they didn’t fit my other kid. One kid likes generic pool shoes.
Anonymous says
Use DEET or picaridin on exposed skin. You can also treat clothing with permethrin. Check them all over for ticks as soon as they get home, including in their hair, and have them shower and wash their hair to wash off any crawling ticks and the bug spray. Put their dirty clothes in the laundry room and don’t let them rewear them. Buy a tick removal tool and learn to use it. Ticks have to be attached for a while to transmit Lyme. Be aware that the ticks that transmit Lyme are very small, like the size of a poppy seed.
Chemical repellents are the only thing that works and you do NOT want to mess with Lyme disease. I keep getting ads for clinical trials for a vaccine, so I am hoping we’ll have a vaccine soon.
AwayEmily says
+1 to treating clothes with permethrin. I do a round at the beginning of the summer — she has “camp clothes” that she only wears at camp (7 each of t-shirts, socks, and shorts) and I spray all of those, plus her shoes (she wears sneakers at camp), then I reapply halfway through the summer.
Re: vaccine — my two oldest are in the trial! We don’t know yet whether they got the placebo or actual but they’ve each had three doses and are due for a booster this summer.
Anon says
Should we have DS’ birthday party at the park or zoo? He will be four. Just wondering if four year olds would do better with mostly unstructured play at the park or more structured entertainment at the zoo.
SC says
I vote for unstructured play at the park.
Cb says
Park. A zoo seems a nightmare unless it’s just 2 or 3 kids.
NYCer says
Some zoos are actually set up to host birthday parties. I have been to one (not for my kid) at the Central Park Zoo, and it was fun for the kids. They got to pet some random animals, got a little guided tour of the zoo, dedicated party area, etc.
That being said, I prefer a park party for a 4 year old.
Anon says
Yeah, I feel like people are imaging just turning kids lose in a zoo, but that’s not what a zoo birthday party is in my experience. You have a private room and the staff bring in animals to pet. My town’s zoo is tiny (more of a glorified petting zoo) but the birthday parties we’ve attended there were really wonderful, and I also attended one at a big city zoo (Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago) that was great as well.
Anon says
Park for sure. Easy for parents to get to and leave when the kids have had enough
Anon says
Park. YMMV but in our circles, it is really difficult to anticipate turnout at a party for a kid of that age. For example, at DS’s last party, we invited his preschool class and our friends with kids of similar ages. Most families had both parents come, and many kids had siblings. So we had 10-12 kids, but about 40 people. That amount of people is really difficult to accommodate in any type of structured setting.
anon says
I’m going to go against the grain and say that the zoo party sounds fun. My DD went to one with her preschool class around that age. After the games, cake, etc., the kids and parents broke off into smaller groups and did all the zoo stuff. It was really fun for the kids to have that experience with their friends. The caveat is that this is a smaller zoo, so if you leave after a few hours, it’s no big deal. I think the parents started the party in the late morning, well before naptime.
Anon says
I’m with you on the zoo, assuming the zoo is set up to do parties (I think most are). We did a park party for my kid’s 4th, planned fairly last minute on an unseasonably warm winter weekend (didn’t want to go indoors b/c of Covid). It was…ok. The kids had fun, I think, but they also seemed kind of bored and a lot of kids fell down and started crying. It was windy and a lot of the paper products kept blowing away. It was really stressful for me as the host.
We’ve attended several zoo parties that were huge hits. The staff do animal presentations in a private room, and then you have the room for pizza, crafts, play, etc. It’s really no different than any other indoor playplace party, except with the addition of staff-led animal encounters. The kids definitely don’t run wild around the zoo, but they do get to see animals.
Anonymous says
I would save money and do the park now while you can, and save paid birthday options for older kids.
Do you like this bag? says
Do people like the Bogg bag? There’s a knockoff at Costco I’m considering, but I don’t know if they are useful or just “trendy”
Anon says
i have a bogg bag. i like it but am not obsessed. it is good for the pool, but the bag itself is quite heavy. my favorite beach bag i’ve ever owned the company has gone out of business but i really wish i could get another one (it is made from the same fabric as sails and so it is super light and has a zipper). i’m not usually a trendy person but i do have a cup holder for my stanley cup that attaches to the bogg bag that i will be using this summer.
Anonymous says
I’m curious about this as well. I’ve heard they’re heavy AND you have to buy additional parts to have a pocket for your phone or a cup holder. I’d prob be ok with the Costco dupe. My vote is there just trendy. But I’m just a grouchy anti-consumerist. It’s like the hype around Stanley cups and Yeti coolers (which are really only necessary if you’re storing like fresh fish or raw meat you just field dressed.) Frankly we use our free bag from goldfish swim school and I stash my wallet/keys/phone in the front pocket of our cooler bag. And this is a HHI $200k
HSAL says
My mom got me a knockoff a couple seasons ago before I realized they were A Thing. It’s fine? Good to have at the beach, easy to clean. We basically require two bags for any pool trip so my other is a zip bag from Lands End that I love.
Anonymous says
I was going to ask this also. I have so many free totes that I can toss in the washing machine that I can’t really see myself spending $100 on what is essentially a plastic box. I might also be grossly underestimating the amount of stuff we need for the pool.
Cerulean says
Bags come with cup holders now? They look like Crocs in bag form to me. I have a mesh bag that cost like $10 and has held up great. I think I got it at Target.
New Here says
I have a knock-off and like it for just myself at the pool/beach – my phone, glasses, water bottle,kindle,hat, sunscreen pack.
I use a big mesh one for everything else. It has tons of exterior pockets and then is big inside. The mesh means sand drops out and it can air out a bit. I think it was $20 on Amazon.
Anonymous says
A friend has one and it doesn’t seem at all functional to me. Not big enough for a pool bag, stiff and boxy and heavy, no pockets. The rubber also looks like it would get grimy and be difficult to clean, just like the rubber on my Owala water bottle.
anon says
If I still had younger kids, I would get a Bogg bag in a heartbeat. Seems so much easier to handle all the wet stuff for swimming. They’re super popular at my community pool.
Emma says
Advice on summer shoes for toddlers? My almost 2 year old has been wearing sneakers at daycare since she started walking, but it’s getting too warm for socks. I need something comfortable and breathable that she can wear all day. My mom gave us cute leather sandals, but they gave her blisters.
Anonymous says
Keens (Seacamp or Newport) are our go-to summer daycare shoes. My kid actually gets excited now when we break them out for the first time in spring!
Anon says
+1 for Keens sandals. They are durable, and machine washable
Boston Legal Eagle says
Keens, Natives or Crocs – see which ones she likes/don’t give her blisters, and go with those.
Anonymous says
Stride Rite usually has sandals
Anonymous says
I guess I don’t understand this too warm for socks. Unless they are doing water play or just briefly running an errand or something (crocs) my kids have always worn sneakers with socks all summer to daycare and camp , because that’s what is best for running and playing. You don’t want something that’s constantly going to be full of bark chips. If you must do sandals, keens type allow the best play, but they get so unbelievably stinky!
AwayEmily says
+1 for this. My kids wear socks plus sneakers all summer. Getting rocks and wood chips out of sandals is SUCH a pain, plus sneakers are way better for playing. We have one pair each of sandals/Crocs for going to the pool or beach, but that’s the only time they get used.
Anon says
+1 my 6 year old wears socks and sneakers year round and always has. I don’t love wearing socks in the summer, but kids don’t seem bothered by the temperature and sneakers were better for clumsy toddler. It’s also nice to not have to sunscreen feet. We have water shoes for the pool and beach, but she’s never worn any non-sneaker shoe to school.
Mary Moo Cow says
+3. Our daycare asked for socks and sandals for kids — also a bark chip playground! And I’m in the SEUS. Unfortunately they seem to have inherited my stinky sweaty feet, but socks are quicker to wash and dry than shoes!
AwayEmily says
Yeah, our daycare doesn’t allow sandals for regular use; they require sneakers (though they ask kids to keep one pair of waterproof sandals or Crocs at school for “water play” days).
Anonymous says
Mine usually wears sneakers with socks on the weekends, but his daycare requests closed-toe sandals in summer because they do water play every day. I like Keens because they’re good for running and climbing, too.
anon says
Agree. Sandals are fine for short outings, the pool, and anything involving water. But I much prefer sneakers for actual play.
Anona says
My 20mo cried when we put Keens on his feet, the shoe fitter said that wasn’t unusual because they are heavy. So we went with a pair of Merrells that can get wet instead: https://www.merrell.com/US/en/bare-steps-h2o-sneaker/36053B.html?dwvar_36053B_color=ML260875#cgid=kid&prefn1=genericSizeType&prefv1=B&prefn2=isOnSale&prefv2=false&start=1
Anonymous says
She’s probably less bothered by the heat than you are. Also check whether daycare has any rules/recommendations – ours highly recommends something with the toes covered for younger toddlers. I’d look for something with the toes covered for that age and washable if possible. Keens/Natives/Crocs are hilariously wide on my 3 yo, so I’ve been getting Pediped Sahara which seem to run narrower. Stride Rite will also have options.
Anon says
My kid got overheated very, very easily at that age. We wore as little clothing as possible on her on hot days. We went with a fisherman type sandal without socks for her. We didn’t have to worry about things getting in her shoes at her daycare play area outside. I wanted to protect those baby toes, though, so we went with the fisherman sandals with some protection across the toes. Make sure it has a good sole on it. We bought Carter’s Every Step, I don’t know that they make those anymore.
Anon says
I had 5 kids RSVP for a play date today, and it’s 40 minutes past the start time and only one kid has shown up! Would you text people? I double-checked that the invite has the correct address & start time. The one kid who came seems to be having lots of fun, but I feel super awkward about the fact that I invited them to a group thing and instead they just got my kid.
Anony says
I would prob check-in with the other people, but I don’t think you need to feel awkward that it is just your kid and one other friend right now.
Anonymous says
Thanks :) They’ve said “where IS everyone?” a few times, but they’re young enough that I think it’s more of an observation than a complaint.
I basically never host group things and this is why! Ugh.
Anon says
That’s so rude of the other families, I’m sorry! Hopefully they’re just running a bit late.
Anon says
area to stay in Portland, OR with two 6 year olds? hotel recs? want something safe.
Anon says
I can’t recommend specific hotels, but most of PDX is reasonably safe during the hours a toddler will be awake. It’s really not as bad as the media (or Portlanders) make it sound. The smell of pot in public is annoying, but no worse than cigarettes in the 90s.