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Some of the articles of interest to working mothers that we’ve seen around the web recently…
- The Atlantic reports on a new study that found that fathers who take paternity leave may influence other dads to do the same.
- This Huff Post Parents post by Amy Morrison isn’t new, but there’s a good reason it’s gotten thousands of social media shares: It’s a great reality check if you’re feeling guilty about, say, not making your own baby food, or about not using cloth diapers, or about your daughter bringing store-bought Dora valentines to preschool instead of Pinterest-inspired homemade ones. The title? “Why You’re Never Failing As a Mother.”
- The NYT features an essay by a mother who struggled with work/life balance after her baby was born (she held a corporate marketing job at the time) and watched her friends with kids each make different decisions about work and family.
- Joanna Goddard of A Cup of Jo shares the story of an American family who has been living in London for several years and has learned the many differences between British parenting and parenting in the U.S.
- A mother who wrote an essay for Huff Post Parents shares her shift in thinking about other people’s opinions of her parenting when they see her with her daughter, who has autism.
- Things many moms are eternally grateful for: the Woombie, Sophie the Giraffe … and online shopping. Lollie Shopping shares a service called Return Saver, which — after you pay a yearly membership fee — gives you free return shipping (with a couple of conditions) for an unlimited (!) number of online purchases.
- We encouraged you to take the 2014 CorporetteMoms survey. It’s still open, by the way, and we’d love to get your feedback on the site.
- Kat shared a bunch of her picks for the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. (Curious about the Nordstrom Rewards card, which gives you early access for a week prior to the sale? We’ve got all the details.)
- Kathryn Rubino guest posted about compliments and confidence at work.
- Something to share with the summer associates in your office: how to end an internship on a good note.
SAHM + school? says
In the interest of more comments on this site vs the “regular” one…
Anyone have experience being a stay at home mom while going to school in the evening? Is it possible to have enough mental energy left over for 4 hours of class and homework after caring for two young children all day? If you’ve done it – what kind of help did you need (either paid, or from your partner)? Did you miss your job?
I’m weighing quitting my job when baby #2 shows up so I can accelerate my coursework on a career-change program. Basically, I would stay home all day with the kids (who will be almost-2 and an infant), then hand them off to DH when he gets home and head to school 4 days/week. We’d have to do this for about a year, maybe a year and a half.
Is this a terrible idea from a marriage and/or sanity perspective? My salary is about 5x average childcare for 2 kids in my area, so financially this is not a winning proposition. Career-wise, my current career and future career are totally unrelated, so continuity is not an issue. My thinking is school would replace job as my “mental health break” from small children, and getting school done faster is better than dragging out the current situation (school only 2 nights a week, but on top of a full time job) for twice as long. Am I deluding myself?
anonmom says
I have no experience with that situation, but it sounds tough. When would you do homework/studying? Is your husband up for coming home from work and being in charge of kids by himself 4 days a week?
JJ says
I have kids that are 18 months apart. I can tell you that, until about 2 months ago when my baby was 9 months, there is no way in heck I could have been a SAHM and then done school work and studying. Granted, we were blessed with a second child with acid reflux and colic, but keeping on top of a young toddler in addition to a baby was just too much. I was spent, mentally and physically by the end of the day.
That’s not to say that you are not made of sterner stuff and could do it. But based on how I felt, it would have been a disaster.
OP says
Thanks, this is exactly what I’m worried about. Baby #1 was easy (as babies go), so I think I’m due for one with colic. Even if the new baby is also easy, the toddler wears me out all on his own. I was kind of hoping I would build up a tolerance to his energy level if I spent all day with him more regularly and had some routines, but you’re right… it’s just as likely I would get more and more exhausted.
IF I do this, I would hire a high school/college student or two to be a “mother’s helper” for 2-3 hours each day overlapping with the time my husband normally gets home, so I can study and he can relax for a minute instead of walking in the door to a second-shift. I also would figure on time at the gym (in my neighborhood, free babysitting) every day where I could listen to recorded lectures or flip through notes while on the cardio machine. Or even if I don’t actually work out, I could go take a shower without any small children screaming!
The lack of “us” time and the inevitable feeling that both of us are on some kind of terrible merry-go-round of exhaustion are real worries. And there will be additional financial stress without my salary, which never helps either.
I so wish we had family nearby…
ANP says
I think you can survive anything for a finite period of time. That said, this sounds pretty tough to me. Agree that you’re going to need time to get schoolwork and studying done — plus you need the chance to decompress AND reconnect with your spouse. How badly do you need to knock this out in the shortened time frame?