Nursing/Postpartum Tuesday: Multifunction Nursing Cover

Super anon for this.

13 year old girl. Always a bit of a loner, only child, prefers to hang with adults or small children though she’s been making some girl friends in middle school, has been called quirky and cool and independent by other parents her whole life. Recent suspicion of ASD; has been in therapy off and on for a few years, on this past 6 months or so and we are working with therapist to consider an assessment for ASD.

All of this is great and manageable! But. but. She seems kind of…s*x-crazed? Like not just curious, but full on asking what age she can have it, telling us when she has a dream about it (!), and MOST ALARMINGLY has s**xted with boys her age (resulting in a cycle of phone getting taken away for months, only to get it back and have it immediately happen again with another boy, and so on). Also telling other people about her it thus indicating she doesn’t get that this kind of thing is bad and will follow her around.

Her dad and I are at a loss almost. We seem unable to get it to “click” for her why this is wrong, how it can be harmful, etc. This is where some ASD likelihood definitely comes in but we don’t have that diagnosis yet – I am hopeful that once we do we can have some more tools for handling this. No history of abuse. Very limited access to internet, no older kids or teens at all – she’s really quite sheltered and consumes very childish media. I’m struggling both because of this as a behavior but also like omg is my kid going to be a sx addict?! This is just so NOT how I was as a girl or teen and I’m just so out of my element on managing this.

Literally ANY thoughts or ideas you have to share are welcome. Including that I am a terrible parent, let me have it.

for those of you who are married – do you give your spouse gifts for the holidays and/or birthdays? ever since we’ve gotten married (which at this point was 10+ years ago), and we share finances, buying gifts for one another often feels silly to me because I can just buy anything I want myself. I do like when DH gets me flowers or something like that for occasions. Growing up my parents gave each other gifts, and I do think it was nice ‘modeling’ for my sister and I, but they also could’ve just gotten themselves anything.

Hello from the other side of our 32h door-to-door journey from the US East Coast to Asia, and a 13h time difference this time of year! My family lives here so we’re obliged/ privileged to haul the kids halfway around the world every other year or so. This is the first time we’ve been back since the pandemic because of closed borders and unpredictably shifting regulations and all that jazz.

Anyway, here is everything I’ve learned from wrangling long-haul travel and parenting jetlagged children over the years. Some of it is applicable to most long flights, some is more about dealing with time changes. Kids are now 7 and 4 and it has been exponentially easier, almost downright enjoyable, since they’ve gotten older.
– Screen time limits go out the window in the air. Even if your toddler won’t keep headphones on, chances are you can just screen Finding Dory six times on mute and they’ll still be completely rapt.
– Snacks are clutch. Pack a lot! I find kids’ eating on flights to be incredibly unpredictable. Kids may be too tired to eat during in-flight meal service times, or their tastebuds may be wonky in the air, or they may inhale an entire meal and request more. Ideally you want them to eat on your destination timezone’s schedule, which helps body clocks adjust, but in practice I’m happy if they’re hydrated and getting some balance of carbs, protein and fiber over the course of our journey. I also packed lollipops in case either kid needed help with ears popping, but they didn’t need them this round.
– In-flight entertainments: My kids either napped or watched seat-back TV/ movies the entire time, but we also packed a few things like a magnetic chess/ checkers set, an electronic drawing tablet, and some books. This came in handy while waiting at the gate too. For babies and tiny toddlers who aren’t mesmerised by screens, I’ve taken a lot of great recommendations from this board. Painter’s tape, cup with an ice cube in it, window cling stickers, post-it notes, you name it.
– At the gate: if your airline lets families with small children board first, take the deal and get everyone settled in quickly.
– Layover entertainments and amenities: we had a six-hour layover between legs and went to the airport transit hotel, where everyone had a 3h nap and I got a shower. Sincerely the best 120 euros I have ever spent. (As a young, durable solo traveller I would have gone through immigration, chucked my baggage in a locker and immediately hit town. How things change…) On previous trips with shorter layovers, back when finances were tighter, we brought a packable travel blanket and found a quiet corner for the kids to have a nap.
– I rarely bring strollers through the airport as I find it’s just one more item to wrangle. Up till age 2 we use a carrier, after that my DH is happy to have kids ride on his shoulders or they just walk (but ymmv, and my city kids are used to walking a fair bit). If you have to run to make a connection, bring the stroller.
– At your destination: Rule of thumb is one day of adjustment per hour of time difference, but if we did that we’d adjust just in time to head back home. A melatonin gummy with dinner, a lot of time outdoors and/ or in your destination’s natural light, and eating on your destination’s schedule will help accelerate the process. Unfortunately the younger they are, the less they can understand and control what is happening to their bodies, so with infants and young toddlers I pulled out all the stops to try and get them to nap vaguely on schedule. You may have to accept that jetlagged kids will be grumpy and miserable for a bit, which I know from experience doesn’t always help with family dynamics (see: my parents trying to go out for a family dinner at 7 after I’ve tried to get kids to stay up all day), but do what you need to do to get your kids happy and adjusted.

–GCA

Those of you who have school age kids, can you tell me more about what childcare expenses are eligible for dependent care FSAs? It seems like the rules for camps are really complicated. Have you been able to use FSA money on camps?

tl/dr: size measurements may not be very accurate, so I’d ask a lot of questions if you do get that recommendation.
I’m about your size, and while the doctors did not recommend that I be induced, they did comment that the baby was measuring big near the end of my pregnancy and said I should be prepared in case a C-section was needed. They estimated 10lbs+, and my son was actually a little shy of 7 at birth. All 3 pregnancies they said the baby was measuring big, but the subsequent 2 they noted that since my previous babies were smaller they weren’t terribly worried. I think maybe they measure femur length and estimate weight from there? In any case, all three of my kids were (and still are) long and skinny — the biggest was 8 lbs at birth.

On the flip side, one of my good friends had an emergency C section at 37 weeks due to complications and her baby really was over 10.5 lbs!

Gift ideas for a friend who watched my dog while I gave birth and postpartum? She said she’s happy to do it but I want to get her something nice, especially as he stayed longer than planned due to a long labor and c-section recovery.

She likes traveling, hiking, and Disney. Would prefer not to get wine or food because she works in a tangential industry and don’t want to buy something inferior.