Mommy, Free Time, and the Weekend: How Would You Spend It? (Fantasy Open Thread)
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Commenters on Corporette were just discussing how one mom should spend Memorial Day weekend with her husband and child away, and I thought this would make a great fantasy open thread over here. What would you do if you had an entire day (or 3) to yourself? Would you shop? Travel? Get together with friends? Spa it up?
I haven’t had a day at home with nothing to do without kids in a really long time. (I think I was pregnant with my second the last time that happened — I remember binge-watching Scandal and drinking pickle juice because, well, #pregnant.) It’s funny to think about the question because without a solid plan, I’m sure I would whittle away my gift of free time working, Internet shopping, or cleaning/organizing. So, I guess an ideal 24 hours to myself would look like this:
- Sleep past 8:30
- Get a great workout in — spinning class, toning class, something like that, possibly with a friend
- Find a pool to sit by and try to do some focus work, reading or writing or planning
- Get a massage or something (at this point I think I’m finding a good day pass to a spa/hotel that has fitness classes, a pool, and a good spa — Exhale Spa with the Gansevoort might fit the bill; for NYC and beyond check out this DailyBurn article of the best fitness hotels)
- “Indulgent” spa lunch — one of those crazy expensive, uber-healthy but delicious things they serve at spas
- Afternoon shopping — in a store! for myself! by myself!
- Glass of wine somewhere with good people watching, either with a friend of by myself
- Facetime with kids and husband
- Dinner with a girlfriend or two
- If time after dinner, get a rom-com or documentary to watch by myself
Strip the wallpaper from my kitchen and repaint! We’ve lived in this house for two years, and I daydream about taking a couple of sick days to do it.
I recently got a long afternoon to myself unexpectedly; I was a little too sick to attend a family gathering, so my husband went with our toddler and was gone from about 11-7. I felt totally paralyzed by the unexpected unstructured time! And not sick enough to just be bedridden. So I ended up sorting the mail, cleaning my closet, filing, organizing two junk drawers, doing a mass of laundry, packing up online returns, and other chores for most of the time. It felt great to accomplish these things and bring some order to the world, so it was good for my mental health. But I do feel like it was a missed opportunity to do something more “for me,” that would have been more personally fulfilling or fun.
So it prompted me to make a list of things to do the next time this comes up unexpectedly and I’m too paralyzed to decide what to do. So far it includes: pedicure, art museum visit, jog by the lake, call long-distance friends (this one is huge!), vacation planning, yoga class, find a book at library / bookstore, plant something in the garden or lawn beds. Nothing earth-shattering so far, clearly, but hopefully it will prevent the paralysis and prompt me to pick one or two “me” things to do the next time the opportunity pops up. But what will probably happen is that I then feel bad I didn’t use the time to organize my digital photos.
Definitely sleeping past 630 – which I haven’t done pretty much since Philanthropy Baby was born.
I love good brunch food – so I’d go out for brunch, probably with a book, and sip coffee for as long as I could.
Shopping, maybe poking around antique shops or resale shops, or a bookstore.
Pedicure and/or massage
Ice cream by the lake, and a hike on the greenway
I’d carry out for dinner, and definitely choose something DH and PB won’t eat – like Thai. And enjoy with a good bottle of wine. And a book.
If I were feeling inspired to accomplish something I’d probably plant things in the garden, pull weeds, mulch, or organize my kitchen cupboards.
For a single day, I would probably just spend it sleeping and vegging out (binge watching, reading or listening to an audiobook while playing Candy Crush). Maybe not an “ideal” use of the time, but downtime to do nothing in particular is what I miss most of all from my pre-kid, pre-responsible adult days. And I’d probably feel moderately guilty that I didn’t do anything on my “someday I should do X” list, but oh well.
Luckily, my husband is pretty understanding when I say things like “I need to spend the entire day changing over the boys’ dressers to pull out everything too small or out of season and sort out what stays vs what goes to Goodwill. I need you to take the kids and *leave the house*. I don’t care where you go, just don’t come home for at least 6 hours because I’m going to be grumpy and I can’t deal with the kids on top of that.”
If I had more free time and had caught up on sleeping and lazing, one of the things I’ve been wanting to do is a thorough closet sort for myself. Not quite full Marie Kondo (I’m not sure I have it in me) but just taking time to try on my clothes and determine which things I rarely wear that I actually should put into the rotation vs which things I either need to get rid of or find or buy something to pair them with, and then donate things I don’t like and make a list of the “holes” in my wardrobe like neutral-besides-black t-shirts, etc.
DH gifted me a night away for mother’s day at a fancy hotel with a massage and facial. It will be my first time spending the night away from my 20 month old. He spent way more than I am comfortable with, but it is non refundable, so I will just have to enjoy it. I’m not how I would like to schedule the events: massage, facial, check in to hotel, drink at the bar, sleep sleep, wake up, exercise, grab breakfast and check out. I love this problem!
my arrangement isn’t anywhere near that sweet, but I do have Friday off while my tot goes to daycare per usual! Plans include:
1. Some super-unglamorous yard work which can’t be done with a toddler clinging to my ankle (cutting down some dead tree branches and pulling up LOTS of poison ivy)
2. Hopefully hanging some pictures on our walls
3. An afternoon alumni reception
and most of all, 4. Hopefully between all of that, fitting in some solid time to sew, which is my creative outlet/massively stress-reducing hobby