Maternity Monday: Hello Miz Dress

I think I need a mantra to help me let go of stress about entering public elementary school. Anyone got anything good?

My daughter turns 3 in September. We just wrapped up parent and tot swim class at the local Y. The teacher was encouraging to sign up for the fall session, but because she turns 3, she is no longer eligible for parent and tot. Am I crazy to think that a bunch of 3 yo with one or two lifeguards and no parents is not great? The thing is, my daughter LOVES the pool, but she’s also completely fearless and will definitely just jump in. It’s also going to get colder and that doesn’t very fun. But if we don’t enroll her, we lose our priority. Permission to skip this year and pay for private lessons when she’s actually old enough to swim?

Hey! I’m the adventure mom who has the son who is her adventure buddy. I was catching up on last week’s posts over the weekend, and saw that someone asked about how we got here — ironically, we were coming back from a backcountry backpacking trip, so happy to weigh in now:

– Start early, keep going (even when it’s hard or you have a bad trip). When they were really little, we prioritized staying in cool places (so yurts, glamping tents, etc.) because we really couldn’t do as much outdoor rec (but we wanted to be IN nature), and as a result, they were comfortable staying in non-traditional spots from a pretty young age. It also started as a cost saving measure (I could extend our trips if we spent half of our time in a yurt, rather than a traditional hotel), and turned into a family priority to have a really cool non-traditional stay during our trips. They remember the lodges/yurts/tents more than they remember the nice hotels that we’ve stayed in over the years.

– Outsource to an expert. I’m a Really Good skier, and I have taught none of my kids to ski. I actually wouldn’t even ski with any of them until they were good enough to navigate a lift and a green slope on their own. It meant our costs were higher earlier on (and we scaled back on the resorts to account for this), but a kid’s stamina is always higher with a cool ski instructor or guide than it is for mom. By the time we started skiing together, they were good enough that it was just FUN. Now they associate skiing with mom as a blast, not a slog.

– Similar to the above, I’m also certified to guide white water kayaking. All of my kids have been on a kayak with me since before they could walk (flat water, PFDs for everyone, all the time), but I have sought out guides as my kid have gotten old enough to actually paddle. Again, a kid’s stamina and ability to learn is much higher, IME, when working with a third party.

The sum total is that by the time the kids are recreating with me, they have some basic level of confidence and ability in the activity. They then see *me* having fun do the activity, and then it’s a joy we get to share with each other. It’s been a bigger cost up front, but I regret nothing, as it has enabled us to share joy in these lifelong activities (backpacking, kayaking, skiing).

Honestly, it’s also been pretty dang cool for my tween son to see his 20 something bro-y guides defer to me, especially on white water paddling. He has a level of respect for the water (that I think was instilled by being taught by guides, not me), and he knows that I can handle it. Same with skiing. I think it’s a great thing for him to view me as an expert/authority in non-traditional outdoor spaces, and since we both love it (the other kids enjoy it, we *love* it), it is our special bond.

Had such a good nesting weekend! I’m 30 weeks and feeling the clock ticking on needing to get big stuff done before I get more tired and pregnant. I’m making space for baby in my room which has required a monumental amount of decluttering. That project is ongoing but I got it cleared enough to have my changing table/dresser, nightstand, and baby bookshelf set up. And my cousin is coming over this weekend to assemble my crib and hang pictures and shelves. It feels so real!

I’m also thinking about the thrilling world of late 3rd tri/postpartum fashion. I’ve only bought 2 work maternity dresses and one pair of maternity leggings because thankfully I’m rarely in office and I already own 20 nap dresses which I’ve worn all summer in the heat. I’m thinking as it gets cooler maybe my vibe is leggings, big button down shirt, and a nursing tank? Do people wear nursing bras under nursing tanks or are there actually supportive nursing tanks (I was a 38J pre pregnancy). I’m not modest at all about my boobs but I do want them supported for comfort and I do not want my belly on display ever. And vainly I want to make mom friends and look like, somewhat semi cute or like I’ve made an effort at some point? Would appreciate any thoughts on this rambling nonsense but please assume “just wear what you own” isn’t really an option since I don’t really own anything that will fit me in late pregnancy early postpartum in fall/winter weather.

Also, sneakers are currently my only shoe option but I fear in two weeks I won’t be able to do laces?