Etiquette Fun: Friends with MLM Businesses
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2018 Update: We still think this is a great discussion about friends with MLM businesses — but you may also want to check out some of our more recent discussions on mom friends.
Do you have any close friends taking part in MLM businesses like Younique, Rodan + Fields, Beachbody coaching, or more? Are you doing it yourself, or would you consider it? Do you get annoyed when you meet a new person through a mommy group or kids’ activity and she immediately starts blasting you with suggestions to buy products, sign up for coaching, or come to what amounts to a Tupperware party?
I’m not sure if every woman, in every stage of her life, has friends with MLM businesses, but it certainly feels like the list of such acquaintances explodes once you hit the age range where many friends have babies and small kids. I see a lot of readers here and at Corporette expressing what I also feel, which is to eye every new program (and friend involved) with skepticism.
Part of it is the public nature of MLM businesses — it seems to be the modus operandi to blast your personal FB page and everyone in it. I’ve even been placed in a separate Facebook group for someone’s business (which I didn’t even know you could do). On the flip side, I have heard some customers really singing the praises of certain products, always caveating it with something like, “I don’t normally like these things, BUT… my skin has never looked better! / the mascara IS amazing! / I’ve lost 15 lbs!”
So let’s discuss, ladies — how do you view these companies, and friends working for the companies? Do you buy products just to be nice, or have you become a devotee of anything? What are the biggest pros and cons that you see to this phenomenon?
Psst: how to secretly unfollow people on Facebook so you “stay friends” but don’t see their blasts in your newsfeed.
I have some friends who are politically active. Even when I agree with them, I have decided to put their requests for me to email/call/sign a petition in the same category as my MLM friends – it’s just business. It does not define how I see their issue, or how moral or ethical I am. “It’s just business”
I don’t buy anything I don’t want. My biggest turnoff is when these women say, “I own my own business.” No, they do not! They aren’t meeting a payroll, answering to clients, wrangling deadlines or employees. They are a branch of a huge MLM; they aren’t a business owner. The whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I had one friend who was selling MLM nutritional supplements many years ago. It was really awkward, in part because it made me worry that she was financially struggling and selling this stuff for the cash. I was also younger and still trying to be “cool,” and thought that hanging out with MLM folks wasn’t cool.
Now….I have gone to some of the MLM parties, but only if (1) I am interested in buying some of the product; (2) I want to hang out with the people who will be at the party; and (3) I set a budget in advance. I ignore the stuff on FB (I have learned to make liberal use of the “hide these posts” option) and people at my office keep it pretty quiet.
I said point blank to my friend who sells candle crap “I don’t believe in supporting pyramid schemes.” She did not take kindly to that and I received a lecture about how it’s not a pyramid scheme. Whoops.
The only stuff I’ve tried and actually like is Jamberry and LuLaRoe. I like Jamberry because they actually last two weeks on me and I can’t get nail polish to stay on for more than a day, and LLR because the clothes are super soft for weeekend schlubby clothes. The next person who tries to sell me Shakeology/Herbalife/ItWorks! is probably going to get kicked.
Warning: Diatribe ahead.
I hate it. I hate everything about it. And the only reason I dont post a scathing facebook diatribe about how much I hate it before defriending every single person I know blasting me with that stupid crap is that one of my very good friends sells R&F and she is a delightful person whose feelings I dont want to hurt.
Its awkward, its manipulative verging on predatory, its tiresome. I hate it. I dont want to buy a bunch of mystical healing power of crystals essential oils or some gross shake that is going to make me crap my pants or even a super cute necklace that is $79. I dont want any of it. Every time a friend of mine quits her job to have kids I get ready to start fending off the onslaught of cheesy facebook posts, high pressured “parties”, and repeated suggestions that I join the pyramid too. I just want to yell at those people to get a real job. I realize that half these women probably do want a real job but cant admit it to themselves or cant justify spending on childcare to work part time. So I just quietly grit my teeth, politely turn down every offer, and hide all those people on fb.
(Diatribe aside, I do think the R&F soothe line is decent for my extremely sensitive skin. but there is no way i’m shelling out $175 for a two month supply. I will re-buy eventually to support my friend, but not on the every two month schedule they suggest.)
On this topic, I read this lovely blog post the other week: http://www.dosaygive.com/etiquette-of-direct-sales/
I’m not the blogger, don’t know the blogger, but I was really impressed at how classy and easy all of the scripted responses on both sides sounded.
MLM is not my thing, but at this point it’s prevalent enough that I’ve realized I have to live with it (but also, with myself).
Ugh, I hate this MLM junk… I don’t want or need any of it!!! (Well, except for Pampered Chef… I got a few things as gifts that I really really like and would be willing to buy more.)
I hate the guilt aspects that seem integral to all these MLM plans. I should feel guilty that I’m not helping you. I should feel guilty that I’m not ‘Making my family the most important thing by staying home!!’ I should feel guilty that I’m not ‘reaching for my dreams’ by not joining your team.
I really try to be very ‘you do you’ about this, but seriously?? The oils and wraps and shakes and candles with costume jewelry in them??? Please stop. I want to see pictures of kids and catch up on what your vacation was like when I go on FB, not deal with all this junk.
So, I left my job as a banking attorney after 8 years this past December to dedicate my entire time to my Direct Sales business with Beautycounter. I love it, have a team of 15 amazing women working alongside of me and LOVE helping women get successful businesses up and running – basically nothing that I got from being a lawyer. I have three children and this gives me much more flexibility.
BUT, I must admit that even I was skeptical at first. I think it depends on the company. Beautycounter is an education first company with the mission of getting SAFE products in the hands of everyone. We’re trying to effect change in Congress to get stronger laws on the books making companies offer safer products (I encourage everyone to help by simply texting MARCHFORTH to 52886. You’ll receive a link to take the action immediately, which is an email to all three of your Members of Congress.) So I’ve found a product and a company I truly believe in and a business model that I love that allows me to continue contributing financially to my family! It’s a win all around for me!
My mother has had so many MLM “businesses.” When I see these posts, I cringe, and I hide them. Most of them are pyramid schemes, and it makes me sad to see people fall for the schtick.
I block every single person on my facebook page selling this MLM stuff. I don’t go to the parties, I don’t buy the stuff. I think it’s a bad model and that it hurts women, and I refuse to participate in it. And I cannot stand the SAHM judgment that comes with it.
I have about a billion friends selling MLM. Fortunately, almost all of them are pretty low key about it. I only see it on social media, they don’t bring it up IRL, and none of them are trying to make a living at it. I tend to ignore in general, mostly because I can’t afford any of their stuff – with the exception of Usborne books (which I would totally sell if I had time). I’ve left a couple of groups I was added to, and hidden a few of the more annoying posts. I did try Shakeology for a short while, wasn’t impressed, and am now switching to something about 1/3 of the cost that I can get from Amazon without the frequent PMs asking why I haven’t re-ordered!
Since none of my friends are obnoxious about it, it doesn’t really bother me.
I have one friend doing MLM (Younique), and she is actually doing pretty well for herself. However, I think any business where your success/pay is measured by your ability to recruit a team and convince THEM to sell more is ridiculous. Also, the “marketing” on Facebook is just too much.
Plus, truly “owning your own business” takes more than 40 hours per week. Your name is behind/on all the products, so you are invested in making sure they are great. All the complaints get funneled to you. All the rewards go to you – and the smaller your “team” is, the less people you have to pay! We have a family business (that I am not part of but have worked there part-time here and there), so I know firsthand that it is a LOT of work.
My friends who do these aren’t obnoxious about it except on facebook – although I did have a former coworker who brought up Jamberry almost every time I talked to her, and I wanted to scream.
I block the facebook posts, ignore party invites, and don’t buy any of this stuff because I am not interested in the products, but I’m always kind of disappointed – for lack of a better word – when I find out a friend is in the business. I absolutely see most of the MLM companies as predatory schemes that primarily target SAHM and women in lower pay/lower responsibility jobs. The companies sell them the idea that they can own something, and make money off the women buying inventory (which the company knows full well most turn around for a profit in any reasonable timeframe because sales is not a universal skill). If the company were trying to make money from selling product to customers, they’d just have a direct-to-consumer website and a marketing campaign. Or price the stuff reasonably. Or any number of more effective strategies.
I sell Thirty-One and the compensation is 25%. But I am super low key about it. I enjoy it yes, but I like my career better. It is what it is, I have no delusions that I will make tons of cash. For me it’s a little extra money and it’s fun going to parties.
I have a business page (where I advertise) and a customer group (you have to request to join. I will not add you).
I really try not to be obnoxious and I hate it when people are. I also love going to the parties of other DS companies. It’s a night out.
AS for working from home, when I did work at home, we had a sitter come in so I could get work done. If you treat DS as a job, you certianly can gain some money. but you can’t “work only on the weekned” nor can you shove it down people’s throat.
If I have a bag that I am wearing, and get complemented, I say thanks, I sell it. If they request more info, I give it. I don’t follow up, unless asked (probably why I will never be successful)