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Cb says
Ok, now that I’m going to be home more often, I need to make friends in the village. Any making friends success stories? I’ve got great pals in work city but my new department is smaller, and I’ll really only be in the office for teaching days.
The cool PTA mum messaged me with a query and I replied with the answer and an invite to coffee, so we are meeting next week. I think I’m just going to have to be childlike “Will you be my friend?”
i run a lot says
You did great inviting her to coffee! Just be open and be yourself in all interactions. You may click with her and you may not. That’s ok! If you’re having fun on your coffee date, you suggest getting together again. You can let this flow naturally.
I operate from the perspective that more often than not, people are happy to make friends and expand their circles. There are so many posts even here asking variations of these questions! Most people are going to be happy to meet someone warm and fun and new.
– Signed, my kids get frustrated because I talk to people everywhere
Cb says
I am very chatty, regularly have good chats with taxi drivers, spent 30 minutes talking to a retired GP while stuck in traffic on the bus the other day. I genuinely like people, ask lots of good questions, people seem to like me but I struggle to convert casual acquaintances to friends.
i run a lot says
I get that! I think identifying things you have in common and going from there. Maybe with this woman you’ll find it makes sense to get your kids together, or you both like to read and want to meet up again to chat about a book, or maybe you just really like good coffee and that’s enough of a shared interest. I once was chatting with an acquaintance about how I was excited to be taking swim lessons as an adult. She shared that she had been wanting to improve her swimming and suddenly we were meeting weekly at the gym to swim! We don’t do that anymore, but she is now a friend that I see and text regularly! Sometimes it’s just time and repeat exposure.
Anon says
I think most people struggle with this, especially once you’re adults and not in school. A lot of people have their friend circles pretty set, and I kind of disagree with the poster above. I’ve found that while most people are happy to chat with a pleasant person, there actually are a lot of people who aren’t looking for additional close friends.
Anonymous says
This is my experience. Everyone I know already has more close friends than they have time for from back when they were all SAHMs in MOPS, so as much as I like them and they seem to like me they just don’t have time to be more than casually friendly with me. Their dance cards are already full.
Anonymous says
It just takes time. You’re not going to convert a casual acquaintance to a friend in a year. What has helped is if we have a built in regular activity – like a weekly yoga class.
Anon says
You can definitely convert a casual acquaintance into a friend in a year!!
Anon says
I have had luck with a mother of preschoolers (MOPS) group that meets in the evening every two weeks. I’ve also made friends with other moms in our neighborhood. We will have people over for happy hour or a bbq, and others will host us too.
It’s also good to find common interests and do activities together you’d enjoy doing anyway, taking your families to a museum or hike or to a playground, for example.
Anonymous says
Haha, I just posted another comment about everyone’s already having made friends in MOPS. Except that where I live it is during the workday and not open to the few of us working moms.
Anon says
Yeah MOPS is definitely a SAHM thing where I live.
Anon says
Ha. There’s a reason “everyone has already made friends in MOPS.” This kind of group is awesome for building friendships! You don’t even have to plan or try to schedule with already busy people, it’s a built-in system, you can just go along for the ride and show up. It’s a bummer when MOPS is only available during the day but that’s not always the case.
Anon says
MOPS is also overtly religious (Christian), at least in my area.
AwayEmily says
I have two pieces of advice for turning sort-of friends into really-friends. First, go for after-kid-bedtime walks together. It’s a super low-pressure way to connect and chat. Second, text about random stuff. I still think the thing that veered my friendship with a fellow mom into real-close-friend territory was when I texted her “I am in Old Navy and can’t find any t-shirts. Why are all t-shirts these days so terrible???” A long conversation about terrible fashion trends ensued. Basically, texting without any logistical reason — just to connect/share funny stories/complain.
DLC says
I think another important thing is to manage your expectations and accept that being friends “for now” is also okay. I’ve found that friendships ebb and flow and I just have to be open for whatever age or stage we are at. People I was super close to when our kids were toddlers (like once a week walks/playdates) i don’t see as much now (like coffee a couple times a year). It doesn’t mean I regret it; we were the right friends for each other at that point in our lives. I do think I’m connecting more with the friends I make now, as my kids get older. It used to be i made friends as an excuse to get my kids out of the house, but I find with the friends I make now (my oldest is 11) our kids are just an excuse for me to hang out with the other grown up.
FWIW, i made a really good friend at my kids’ bus stop this past year. Over about six months, we went from chatting after the bus left to grabbing coffee after the bus left to having them over for dinner. I don’t know that our kids like each other *that* much, but the other mom and I sure do get along and seeing her at the bus stop has been a highlight of my morning.
I also like that this person and I don’t talk about our kids all the time. I think it also helps in the long run to connect on non-parenting things.
I’m actually a bit of an introvert, so I feel very lucky to have connected with a new friend this year. I’m also the kind that just needs one or two friends, not an entire friend group.
Cb says
That’s amazing! We have a family friend, made because we took the same bus every am, and their 2-year-old was obsessed with my husband. He’d say “hello, darling” and she’d smile at him, and hand him her shoes/his glasses and insist he held them? For awhile, she greeted every bus driver with “hello, darling!” in an English accent. We figured it would be awkward if we weren’t friends, given their bond.
Anon says
It worked for my husband! Went up to a random family during a run who looked like they were our age and had kids our age and said “we are new here and looking for friends.” Got the dad’s number and now we hang out all the time. I wouldn’t say it’s a deep friendship, but more than just casual (like, we feel comfortable letting them come over unannounced).
Anonymous says
I think I have two pieces of advice about leveling up friendship – invite people into your home, and often. Get to know their kids and spouse. My second is to be vulnerable/open. Not complaining all the time or anything, but be yourself and real about what’s going on.
Anon says
It’s a little bit like dating, honestly. One of my now-closest friends I met a few years ago randomly at a park. We both have kids the same age. They started playing together and we started talking and hit it off. I am SO grateful that she asked for my phone number and then texted me to set up another park date (which eventually turned into us hanging out by ourselves, sans kids). She’s now literally one of my emergency contacts.
It showed me the importance of making the “first move” to exchange contact details and then follow up with a plan to hang out. It can be scary but I think it’s rare that someone isn’t flattered when you want to get to know them better or spend time with them. I met the coolest mom at school pick up the other day who I for sure want to befriend and I’m already planning to exchange numbers the next time I see her.
anonM says
Anyone have a favorite kitten heel? My favorite, go-to pair from Ann Taylor (blush kitten heel pump, pointed toe) have to be retired and AT doesn’t seem to make them anymore. I can’t do a high heel, and would prefer the same blush color. Thanks!
Anon says
I am really struggling with a hard decision about childcare. We have employed the same nanny for 3 years, and she is genuinely part of our family. It is extremely important that we take care of her, and treat her as respectfully as possible. We have always told her that we intended to employ her until next summer, when my 4 year old starts K. However, as a result of a change in my clients (I am a consultant), I have found myself with more time and flexibility. I am missing my daughter, and find myself wanting to spend more time during the day with her before she starts K next year. I have older children as well, and loved their last year of preschool, when I’d pull them out of preschool without a second thought to go to a museum or just keep them home with me. If I move my daughter to the daily 9-3:30 preschool where my older kids went, it will be a significant cost savings, I’ll have enough childcare to cover my work, and it will be easier to carve out time with my daughter on a weekly basis.
Keeping our (amazing) nanny means we are paying for MWF 9-12AM preschool + the nanny salary, and – this is tough, but the hardest part for me – it means that when I want to spend time with my daughter, I am paying my nanny to stay home or the nanny is with us, which – while we love her – changes the dynamics with my daughter.
I really want to do right by my nanny, and my thinking is that we will promise to pay her until she finds a new job. We also live in an area where there is a very robust nanny network, and we would 100% help her get a new job. But I am feeling guilty that she wasn’t expecting to have to job hunt right now, which finding a new family is incredibly stressful for a nanny. So, I guess, AITA if we help her move to a new position this fall, one year earlier than planned?
Anonymous says
Why can’t you let the nanny leave early if you are there, especially since you don’t like it? Or can you send her in an errand to the store?
If you can’t make other use of her time, NTA for helping her transition with a long runway.
anon says
Without the nanny, do you have coverage for days when schools are closed, have early release and sick days? Those are always where I got stuck on giving up FT childcare. Our public schools feel like they’re closed almost as much as they’re open…
Anon says
NTA at all. Although unless you’re *sure* you’ll never need childcare outside the hours of 9-3:30, I think there might be value in keeping the nanny and just sending her home early when you want to spend time with your kid.
I realize that a nanny is way more expensive than daycare, but I did what you’re describing (pulling my pre-K kid out of full day daycare for a special day at the museum) all the time, and we never thought we should be trying to have less childcare — we just didn’t use it when we didn’t need it. It’s also really nice to have more childcare than you need for work and be able to have the occasional day to yourself reading in a coffee shop or browsing Target solo (just me? haha). I’m finding the adjustment to K (where we only have childcare from 9-3:30) quite hard on me. I’m making it work job-wise and do love the extra time with my kid, but am missing the down time I had when I had full day care.
NYCer says
+1. Personally, I would keep the nanny unless it is a financial strain on the family. I find it so helpful to not have to worry about school holidays, early release days, etc. You can send her home early or have her make dinner or do an errand on the days you want to take your daughter to a museum, etc.
anon says
Of course you should do well by her, but telling her you’ll pay her until she finds a new job isn’t that, it’s insanity. Give a generous severance and glowing references and maybe other kinds of help like advertising her to your network if that would be fruitful. What does your contract say about this? If you feel the notice/pay provisions in it are not sufficient — and I get that, something like 2 weeks sounds harsh in this scenario — then increase it by some multiple that feels right to you. But have that number set in your mind before you tell her, and for goodness sake, don’t commit to paying her indefinitely for not working for you.
Anon says
Yeah I think the OP is worrying too much. Her nanny may have no problem getting a new job, and the OP’s work schedule and desire to spend more time with her daughter matters too. Change happens. Most nanny jobs don’t last indefinitely.
Anon says
+2!
ANon says
i must be a terrible parent, because i’d much rather my nanny take my kids to a day at the museum than have me do it. maybe it’s because i have twins and it’s so much harder to do things one on one. also does your nanny do any other stuff for you around the house that you will now need to make time for? we have a nanny whose been with us for 5 years and i think we’d have no trouble helping her find a new family
Anonymous says
It’s also different when it’s your youngest :). I did what OP us considering when my middle was in PK. Now my youngest is in PK and I’m so excited for her instead of wishing I got to spend more time with her.
Anon says
Good questions – we already pay her for when our daughter goes to MWF preschool, so that’s when she does errands, etc. and it feels like just a lot of paid time off every single week if I’m also sending her home early.
Anonymous says
You are NTA. Take care of your nanny but put your kiddo in preschool and spend the extra time with her. Time moves fast.
Let the nanny know what’s up. Let her know you will pay her and keep her on until she finds another job. Actively help her get another job. Consider using her for date nights after she has another job or potentially in between if she’s up for different hours.
Nanny sounds awesome but life happens. just take care of her.
Anonymous says
I think you should give her 4 weeks notice and a great reference and an extra weeks pay bonus at the end and move on. Do not offer to pay her until she finds a new job!
Anonymous says
I have an acquaintance who did this – offered to pay their lovely nanny (of many years!) until she found a new job, while the nanny worked less than part time at full time pay. The nanny slow rolled getting a new job for almost a year in a large metro area where nannies are in high demand. It ended poorly with the family feeling like the nanny took advantage of the situation and having to finally push for an end date. TL;DR give her a specific exit date, even if a long one (3 months or end of the year).
NYCer says
I posted above that I would keep my nanny in your shoes, but if you decide not to, I would definitely give a set end date for this reason.
Leone says
when we were in this situation, I kept the nanny, but turned her into more of a full time household manager (she was already doing many of these tasks and very open to it). That year was amazing – with her help I got rid of so much clutter, got all the kids’ clothes sorted, organized all the areas of the house that needed attention (garage, storage room). She also took over a bunch of meal prep and kept the freezer stocked, and we always had apple slices and carrot sticks cut in the fridge. She ran errands, kept the kids’ craft areas and bookshelves organized, helped with birthday parties and extracurricular events for my older kids, handled a lot of the calling for medical and therapy appointments… and did childcare when we needed it. It was the best year, and I feel like we’ve been coasting on the level of organization and rest we attained during that year in the 2-ish years since.
PinkKeyboard says
My eight year old has requested more grown up clothes but I’m also not interested in crop tops or anything like that. I’ve gotten some things at Target/Old Navy but I’m not sure where else to shop? I normally just buy double for her and my six year old as they are the same size. We are a dual gov household so Boden/Hanna/Tea are special occasiion pricing or clearance around here. I’m just struggling to get some more stuff that has the look she is going for. Also traumatized that my little nature lover is growing up!!!
Colorado says
H&M and Amazon
HSAL says
Oh, also interested in this. My nearly-8 recently said she wants fewer shirts that have pictures on them. Patterns are still okay.
Anon says
No graphics at all or no cutesy pictures? My 9 yo is very into band tshirts. Blink-182, Goo Goo Dolls, T Swift, CCR. She also likes shirts from places we’ve been on vacation or sports teams.
Anonymous says
Old Navy and the Art Class brand at Target would actually be my top suggestions for age-appropriate styles at that price point. Just switch from the graphic tees and leggings to the dresses, rompers, blouses, and jeans. Tea, Boden, and Hanna all look more juvenile. H&M, Zara, and Abercrombie may have some styles that will work. For a splurge, the big girls’ department at Nordstrom. And for heaven’s sake don’t buy your two kids the same clothes unless they request to match.
PinkKeyboard says
While buying an assortment of various stuff I typically buy two of everything and add a few extras that are unique to each kid. They don’t dress like twins daily, I swear!!! Or I’ll buy multipack type stuff from say Spotted Zebra and just split it out between.
Anonymous says
The thing about this approach is that it tells the kids, especially the older one, that you don’t see them as individuals with different preferences and maturity levels.
govtattymom says
Also a dual government household over here! :) My 7 yo daughter gets almost all of her clothes from Target, Kohls, and Costco. Costco has some cute BCBG Girl stuff right now!
Anon says
Can you take her shopping and let her choose what she wants? I think this is around the age many kids like to pick out their own clothes.
Cb says
I feel like this is when I miss catalogues!
Anonymous says
Same. My kid is almost 10/going into 4th. I let her fill a cart with stuff online and then we sort through what is reasonable.
Anonymous says
H&M, Abercrombie kids, Nordstrom and Rack, athleta, gap.
Anonymous says
I like H &M’s section for ages 8-14 for things that are older kid but not too teenager.
Fallen says
My 10 year old loves Zara
Mary Moo Cow says
Do you have a local kids consignment shop that you could take her to? Some one on one time with mom and shopping? My local shop has Boden/hanna/tea, abercrombie, and a lot of Nordstrom brands that are gently used.
And solidarity as the fellow mom of an 8 year old who has no interest in buying her crop tops!
DLC says
I find Uniqlo’s kids clothes very similar in style to their adult clothes. A lot of my kids’ basic stuff comes from there.
Anonymous says
JCrew Factory.
Anonie says
Macy’s Epic Threads are very reasonably priced and to me are more mature than Target/ON. They have lots of basic solid color or simple pattern tops and bottoms, in softer colors.
Anonymous says
My daughter, 7, was told by her friend ,S, that another girl in her grade, B, who happens to be a good friend of S “B doesn’t like you.”
S is a bit of a drama llama/very into how people think of her. B and my daughter have never really spent much time Together- never in the same class or in the same sports teams; B and my kid only really knows each other through S.
Separately, my kid is not always an easy kid to like. She can be an attention seeker, is very immature for her grade, has adhd, and has…no filter.
My kid told me this info matter-of-factly but I could tell it hadn’t occurred to her that someone might not like her.
On the one hand, I want to say “you and B don’t really know each other, don’t worry about it.” But also, it’s a good lesson that people don’t always like the way you treat them and that is an area she does need to work on.
I would do the first option with my other kid, but my other kid is very Socially aware.
Vicky Austin says
I don’t have advice for you, but when I had occasion to be around a few of my sister’s grade-level peers in a school activity, one of them told me very snottily, “Your sister doesn’t like me,” and out of sheer desperation I said, “Well, she doesn’t always like me, either.” My dad laughs about that to this day.
Anonymous says
OP here, this is perfect. I have 3 girls close in age with a lot of overlapping social circles (eg. Other families with same age kids). I’m sure I’ll use it within the month.
Anonymous says
My frustration with drama llamas is probably clouding my judgment here, but I think you should still do the first option. I think the time to have a conversation with your daughter about how she treats people and how they respond is when there is a real conflict, not one potentially being made up by a third party.
Anon says
I would ask her how it made her feel. If she says “I don’t know,” you can supply, something like – “well, that might have made you sad b/c it’s not fun to hear people don’t like you, and you also might not care that much because you don’t know B well? It’s fine to feel both ways.”
But my biggest piece of advice is not to linger on it too much. I recall reading somewhere that the more you focus on it, the more important it feels to them. My daughter has a good friend, and her mom is hyper aware of all the goings on with the kids — I think it honestly makes the kid antics feel higher stakes for the kid. I have always tried to be a soft landing for my kids to talk about kid politics, without getting too invested, so that it doesn’t inadvertently inflate the feelings for the kids.
kid emotions says
Really cosign this. If your kid is upset, I think it’s good to validate that and help them work through it, but if she’s not, great! That seems to me like a really healthy reaction to finding out that someone she doesn’t know and isn’t important to her doesn’t like her.
The fact is that not everyone is going to like you and if your kid seems comfortable with that right now, she’s way ahead of lots of adults in the world (including, to be clear, me (at least some of the time)).
Anonie says
If she’s not asking you for a judgment, why give one? You could just listen, or ask questions: “How did that make you feel?” “What do you think of that?””How did you respond?”
Anonymous says
Perfect advice ladies. Thank you!
I think what threw me is when one of my other kids brings up stuff like this, it starts with how they feel about it. That’s exactly what’s missing. Thanks!’
Anon318 says
We are back to school and back to kids eating half of their breakfasts in the car. Any recommendations for a container that will keep toast crumbs and jelly stains inside my car to a minimum? Is a bento box the only way to go here?
AIMS says
Is there any way to change the breakfast? We used to buy those Stonyfield yogurt pouches (with cap) for the kids to eat on the couch and it was pretty mess-free. I think that and berries in a container would work. My kids would get crumbs everywhere no matter what they had to catch them.
Anonymous says
I would do cheerios or similar in a munchkin snack catcher, a sippy of milk and an applesauce squeezie pack. Toast in the car is not something I’m brave enough for. Could also do apple slices in a baggie.
We do breakfast in the car on the days we have ski trips. Each kid gets a lunch box and is supposed to keep the lunch box on their lap and treat it like a plate so ideally crumbs stay more contained.
Cb says
I think a PB or just a jelly sandwich would work better? You could squish it together really well.
Anonymous says
No a bento box won’t help. Change breakfast and stop letting them eat in the car.
anon says
Line the car seat with towels.
Nap mat says
Any recommendation for nap mats for daycare? The directions say to bring both a sheet and blanket, so I think an all-in-one could work. I have a slight preference for cotton and organic fabrics, and maybe from Etsy. Styles or specific links welcome!
AIMS says
I have no personal experience but these are on sale at PB kids right now: https://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/heart-galaxy-nap-mat/?catalogId=10&sku=9546781&cm_ven=PLA&cm_cat=Google&cm_pla=Backpacks%20%26%20Lunch%20%3E%20Toddler%20Nap%20Mats®ion_id=669950&cm_ite=9546781_14726664444&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIj82kyIrzgAMVSuTICh2RnwfZEAQYASABEgJjkvD_BwE
I’ve generally had very positive experience with all PB kids stuff so I’d go for it.
anonM says
Urban Infant Tot Cot Kids Nap Mat – has held up great with weekly washing. Would highly recommend. But, ask daycare ahead of time because when I recommended it here before some people said it was against licensing or school rules (idk how that could be, but whatever, I’d check before buying).
nap supplies says
FWIW, our preschool specifically didn’t want nap mats and did want a crib sheet and a blanket–you might check with them before buying something (I also thought I’d get a mat for a sheet + blanket place, and they said no).
Anon says
+1 ours also prohibited nap mats
Anonymous says
Same. We’re required to provide a fitted sheet.
Ariel says
Advice on how to respond when our 3 year old tells her dad that she doesn’t love him and refuses any attempts at physical affection from him? I know this hurts his feelings, and I am not sure how best to respond or whether to ignore. I am definitely the primary parent, and also, she’s 3, so in some ways it’s not shocking that she says these things, but I don’t want to encourage more of it by reacting the wrong way.
Anon says
Ugh, I can still remember the first “Mommy, I don’t love you anymore” when I made my 3 year old mad at me. It sucks. I told her that it wasn’t very nice and just ignored it from that point. I would encourage your spouse to just continue to tell her that he loves her and continue to try to express physical affection to her. I know some people disagree with this, but I would also tell her that it’s not nice to tell someone that and to hurt their feelings. Other than that, I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it or she might keep doing it for a reaction.
Anon says
I think you’re doing the right thing by acknowledging the impact on him. That seems like a good place to start (rather than dismissing it with “get over it, she’s three”). As for what to say to her, not sure…maybe repeating “that’s sad since Dad loves you very much” and then moving on or something? Others may have better ideas.
Anonymous says
We used “I’m sad that you don’t love me but I still love you to the moon and back forever and ever” Then change subject.
You should absolutely allow her to refuse physical affection. That’s actually fantastic learning for staying safe. If she can say no to physical affection from those closest to her without consequence that will build her confidence that she may need in other situations when someone is being physical with her a way that she doesn’t want.
Can they develop an activity that’s just for the two of them? DH used to take our kids on hiking adventures when I slept in on Saturday mornings. Sometimes they went quite far, and sometimes they barely got out of the parking lot because there were cool snails to watch. But it became their thing. What does your DH like to do and is there a way to share it with her? My DH didn’t like to do floor play or craft so it took a while to figure out what they liked to do together. He’s also a bajillion times more patient with cooking with the kids so they do that together too.
Vicky Austin says
“cool snails to watch” I am dying, this is amazing.
anonM says
+1. “sounds like you’re frustrated with me. Just so you know, even when you’re mad I still love you!” When the kids say mean stuff to each other like that, I try to encourage them to be specific about what they’re upset about (Ex – “saying you dont’ want to be their sister anymore hurts their feelings. I can tell you’re mad – why don’t you tell brother why you’re upset with him?”)
And ++1 to allowing kids to say no to physical affection without guilt trips.
Anon says
Hopefully I’m not too late, but following up on the listeria comment from yesterday, what are you all doing re: pre-sliced vegetables? I’m pregnant (very early) and I usually eat a lot of pre-sliced cabbage and pre-shredded carrots on quick salads. I also eat baby carrots. I’ve heard some talk that there is too much listeria risk for anything pre-prepared. What did/do you all do?
Anonymous says
I avoided sushi and deli meats – cooked or uncooked. I’m not a big deli meat fan so it wasn’t hard. Avoiding precut veggies doesn’t seem necessary – better to eat lots of veg.
Vicky Austin says
I thought the prepared food risk was specific to stuff where temperature matters, like mayo-based salads, meat, cheese, etc, and you can’t verify it was always kept at the safest temperature. I think veggies are fine.
Isabella says
Wash what you can, because often the bacteria is on the outside, and then the blade pushes it across the surface. I also kept a close eye on recalls (while I was pregnant there were several listeria outbreaks related to bagged salads). The first response here is correct that the nutritional value generally outweighs the risk. And sorry Vicky Austin, but you are mistaken about the issue; listeria is a risk with food that are never heated like salads or sandwiches but mayo has nothing to do with it.
(Source, sold produce for 10 years with hours of licensing classes)
Anonymous says
You are correct that pre prepared veggies are one of the most common sources of food poisoning. I did re-wash pre washed salad greens while pregnant and try to do it even now. I didn’t even think about it with baby carrots or cabbage because I couldn’t handle the thought of eating those, ha.
Anonymous says
Ok guys, what are your storage solutions for rock collections? Third grader got into rocks last year and then did two rock themed day camps and now my house is overflowing with random rocks. He has a few of those bead tray type things for small rocks, but we also have a number of large rocks just hanging out around the house. Plastic storage bin? Anything more attractive or useful?
anon says
Tackle boxes!
Anonymous says
That’s what I was trying to describe with “bead boxes!” Those are so bulky but they do work for small specimens. The large ones are more the issue (tennis ball size and up)…
anon says
3yo is obsessed. He got a “rock box” (Sunshine Box Factory Treasure Chest – Rock Box 10″ x 6″ x 6″) from you know where and it is really great. Very similar to the tackle box with little cubes and a big container at the bottom but “fancy”
Now if I can only keep him from filling his pockets. My poor washing machine.
Anon says
My 3-year-old is also obsessed with her “rock collection” which is just random rocks she picks up outside rather than actual nice ones. I think I might actually have lost a washing machine because too many rocks went through it.
Cb says
I got a large glass vase from the charity shop and put all shells and rocks in there. It lives in the bathroom and I treat it as decor :) I’ve got artwork of an otter holding a bath towel, we are not serious people…
We’ve had to have serious talks about rocks in pockets after my husband pulled some rocks, shells, my hair ties, and a euro out of the filter.
Anon says
What about shallow display shelves for the kid’s room?
anonM says
lean into it and get a wooden tray to display the larger rocks somewhere you can live with? What a cool obsession for a kid, and kudus to you for not just saying “no rocks in the house”– this approach is really positive.
Anon says
Man, elementary school is such an adjustment for parents as well as kids. My kid had a dentist appointment at 2 pm yesterday and I just took her home afterwards because that’s what I’m used to doing at daycare. But the teacher asked if she was coming back and kind of made a face when I said no, and it dawned on me that probably I should have sent her back to school because this is real school and kids aren’t supposed to miss any more than necessary. Oops…
Leone says
I am very late to this, but saw a post last week from someone whose toddler is wearing her out, and wanted to share my best tip: when my kids were that age, we had a college student come 6:30-9pm M-Th and clean up dinner, sweep the floor, do laundry, keep me from losing my mind during bedtime and prep stuff for the next day. This was a perfect 10hr/week job for a student and ideal for us because after kiddo was in bed I could go out for a run or go right back to work, and by the time I was done working and ready to relax, the house was clean, laundry done and lunches packed. We were flexible about school breaks, exams, etc. so it wasn’t super consistent but it’s a great help for feeling worn out.
anon says
I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow. I’m 11 weeks pregnant, I saw her once when i was around 5 weeks (so there was very little to see etc). any idea of what i should expect for this appointment or good questions to ask? my DH and I have not yet told a soul – it’s our first, and will be the first grandchild for all parents, so we have been waiting until after this appointment (and getting some reassurance that all is OK) to tell people.
Anon says
Congrats! You will hear the heartbeat, but may or may not get an ultrasound. I don’t think there are a lot of questions you need to ask. If you have questions about what foods or medicines are ok, this is a good time to ask. It will likely be pretty quick.
Anon says
Congratulations! Your OB will most likely provide you a folder with different information if they haven’t already at your 5 week.
They’ll also probably start to ask if you’re interested doing genetic testing. That usually happens around 12 weeks. If you do, most genetic tests can also identify gender, so they may start to ask if your interesting in that finding out so they can keep it marked in your notes. They’ll probably do some other blood work for some testing.
If you’re OB pulls out a doppler, they should warn that use a doppler for a heartbeat at 11 weeks is pretty tricky. Baby size is kind of small at that stage. In all of my 12 week appointments, I ended up getting brought to an ultrasound room for a quick check to hear the heartbeat after they failed to find babe with the doppler.
The good news, is your OB sees this all the time. So they’ll volunteer information as needed or pose questions when it makes sense. Or at least that’s what I’ve found to be the case in my pregnancies. Overall the appointment is probably going to be pretty short. Again congrats!