CorporetteMoms

Updated: Nov 6, 2023 129 Comments · by

Makeup & Beauty Monday: Clear Coverage Color Correcting Green Concealer

Recent Recs

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Neutrogena Clear Coverage Color Correcting Green Concealer, 0.24 fl. oz

Adult acne is the gift that keeps on giving. While I wait for the lingering redness to subside, I add a color-correcting concealer like this one from Neutrogena to my morning routine.

This green concealer blurs pores and reduces redness for a more even texture and skin tone. It’s even suitable for oily or acne-prone skin — it’s oil-free, fragrance-free, paraben-free, and phthalate-free. For seamless coverage, I use my ring finger to dab on a small amount, followed by concealer that matches my skin tone.

Neutrogena’s Clear Coverage Color Correcting Green Concealer is $14.14 at Walmart.

Sales of note for 9.10.24

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
  • Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
  • J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
  • Old Navy – 40% off everything
  • Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs

About Ann

Ann is a working mom, a longtime reader of Corporette and CorporetteMoms, and has been writing our morning fashion advice for working moms since November 2020! She has a daughter (born winter 2014) and a son (born fall 2019) and is a public interest lawyer in Washington, D.C.

Comments

  1. Anon says

    Happy Fallback!

    I’ve been posting about a job I went for. I had my final interview last week – a meal with my would-be boss. I have 0 idea how it “went” – the conversation flowed well, but it ended on a very administrative note (e.g. “Thank you for spending time with all of us, the recruiting firm will be in touch with next steps, etc.)

    I should find out more in the next few days…please send good vibes this way! I know I’m in a fortunate position, as things are going well and stable in my current job, so if I don’t get this opportunity I’ll be fine…but I REALLY want it!

    • Cb says

      Fingers and toes crossed! The meal sounds intense. I’m in academia and the job I interviewed for last year made all the candidates have drinks with the rest of the department. My current job didn’t make lunch plans for us (split interview) so we all ran into each other in the cafe.

    • Spirograph says

      Good luck, fingers crossed for you! Also, iirc, your first post was that you weren’t sure whether you really wanted to go for the job… I’m glad the interview process gave you clarity and made you excited about the opportunity

      • OP says

        I know! I think part of it was me being scared I wasn’t “enough” for the role and would get rejected. Then I became a finalist and was like dang, I can do this! And now I wait… ;)

  2. anon says

    How long did it take to figure out bre@stfeeding? I’m almost 3 weeks in and still struggling with baby’s shallow latch and him falling asleep before a full feed. I’m also pumping so I know how much he’s getting, and I’m working with an LC. I feel like we should be feeding easily by now?

    • Anon says

      It’s was a process, not a snap moment. It got somewhat easier around 1 months, then 6 weeks, then 2 months. By 3 months, we were good.

      The baby getting bigger and stronger and me getting better at getting a good latch both helped.

      It was much easier with my second, but she came out at almost 12 lbs, so the size of many 6-8 week olds. She was already big and strong from the get go. I also already knew what I was doing.

      • anon says

        Hmm this gives me hope. Mine is a 5 pound 36 week preemie so maybe it’s largely a matter of him getting bigger and stronger.

        • Clementine says

          I had a 32 week baby. He wasn’t allowed to nurse until 35 weeks and then didn’t get it together until probably 3-4 months. It was a lot

          So basically, you have a 39 week baby. He’s still very new to being a human! work with everyone but also… a lot can change in a month. Lots of love, it was stressful but now it’s a blip.

          • GCA says

            This. You have a tiny, early baby – barring any other health issues, he is really still learning. My first kid was on time, but he had jaundice and was too sleepy to latch; it definitely took us about a month to get the hang of breastfeeding.

        • anonM says

          If you had a preemie, it also sounds like your birth experience was probably not the smoothest. I had a really traumatic first birth, thankfully full term, but my milk took a long time to come in and it was a struggle for awhile. My second in contrast was much smoother. Please be easy on yourself. Your body has been through a lot which makes it harder to BF, and some babies are better at it! My second found the n*pple and tried latching asap, I was astounded. Truly, if you need to pump or supplement or whatever, it is ok, but if you want to keep trying do it. Once they get better at it, I found it really great and convenient, BUT the first few weeks were shockingly hard! As someone else commented, it is a skill (for both you and baby).

        • Anon says

          Bigger and stronger makes a huge difference. At 5lbs, they really are intended to still be an inside baby, so go easy on yourselves. It will take longer to get there with a tiny one.

        • Anonymous says

          I’ve nursed 3 kids to around 14-16 months.

          By FAR the hardest was the smallest baby at 6lbs. It got so much easier once he was around 8lbs. hang in there – you started this on hard mode and it gets easier.

    • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

      Hi – I had an almost ~8 lb baby at 41 weeks, and then a ~5+ lb baby at 38 weeks. Both times it took a few months for me to get into a groove with nursing.

    • Anonymous says

      I was in massive pain for about 6-10 weeks… but after that it was easy and great!

    • Anon says

      3 months. After that, it is so convenient and easy. And I’ve had and nursed 3 kids (I’m typing this while nursing a 1 year old) breastfeeding is a skill and I think it’s often sold as something natural.

    • Anon says

      I don’t think this would help with the baby falling asleep, but a n*pple shield helped me tremendously with the pain of nursing. Once I started using that it became very easy.

      • Anonymous says

        +1. Everyone kept discouraging me from using it, but it was the only way we could effectively nurse for the first few months and didn’t appear to lead to issues.

      • Anon says

        I’ve heard a lot of women say that introducing nipple shields (and pacifiers) helped with their newborns and did not lead to any nursing issues. I feel like the lactivists who look down on those tools have been pushing some weird “au naturel” approach that isn’t actually evidence-based.

        • Anon says

          I agree. Our pediatrician really encouraged me to use one and I’m so grateful.

          • ElisaR says

            nippel shield saved me, it’s the only reason i stuck w/ b-feeding. One day 3months in, it fell off. I didn’t notice at first. baby didn’t notice at all. and i never used it again! who knew!

    • Anon2 says

      11 weeks with my first, who was also early (though not technically a preemie — 37 weeks). He wouldn’t latch at all during that time and I pumped. A LC helped and after 11 weeks it clicked and was smooth sailing, until he was nearly 2 and we weaned.

      My next two babies were easy from the start. That first one sometimes takes time to figure out, especially if they are early and tiny and sleepy!

    • Anonymous says

      It gets easier at 6 weeks and then much more natural at 3 months and it’s a breeze after 6 months. So hang in there! Weeks 3-4 with a newborn are hard.

    • Anon says

      For both my kids I tried numerous lactation consultants before getting one that actually tried things like the scientific method and things changed within hours. Exercises for the baby, jobs for my husband to do, healing things for me etc.

      My advice is really try other LC if you don’t feel like this one is working out for you.

    • Milkshake says

      Mine had a tongue and upper lip tie that wasn’t caught until 6 weeks, and he needed an operation to have it corrected before he could nurse properly. If you already have a LC they are hopefully on it but just in case, wanted to mention.

    • oil in houston says

      it was hard with my second, but only because he had a tongue tie – did you check your baby’s ?

  3. AwayEmily says

    Ski/snow people with older kids: help please! I need snowpants for my almost-8-yo. She will be skiing, so they need to be fairly warm, and they will eventually be passed down to two more kids. It seems like snowpants come in three categories: ~$120 ones, ~$70 ones, and <$50 ones. Are there big differences between them? Is there a specific brand people recommend? I don't think we need, like, SUPER fancy ones (we are in central NY where it gets very snowy but not Midwest-cold), but I want her to be comfortable and for them to last. Before I've always gone with Target ones but the skiing thing makes me wonder if I should be looking at higher-quality ones.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      I’ve been going with Land’s End for the past few years for my kids (older to pass down to younger). They are about $50 now on sale, so a good deal, and I think they are fairly high quality. I think having good underlayers is key for skiing – Land’s End also has shirt and pant base layers on sale that my kid likes.

      • Spirograph says

        Same, we also use Land’s End snowpants and they have worked well for my kids for skiing in WV and the northeast, plus we get 2-3 kids worth of use out of them handing them down. (Land’s End Squall coats, too)

        I agree on the base layers — these are what actually keep you warm, the snowpants and coat are more to keep you *dry* and keep the wind off you. We got some random brand from Dick’s that are still going strong.

      • anon says

        I haven’t tried these because I live in the SEUS and don’t need them but land’s end has “extendable” winter jackets and ski pants where you can easily pop the seam and let them out up to 2 inches.

    • Clementine says

      Go look at the sale sections of sites like evo, backcountry, and steep and cheap. We’ve had good ones from Spyder and North Face for skiings. Highly HIGHLY recommend making sure they’re waterproof and have the good bottoms that unzip so you can get them over the ski boots.

      Also grab some sale ski socks while you’re there. Darn Tough or Smartwool.

    • Anon says

      One thing you may not have thought of: it’s worth getting pants from a brand that is phasing out PFAS chemicals (used for waterproofing, but dangerous to human health). Most outdoor brands are doing this in response to different pieces of legislation, but some are farther along than others. Here’s a guide: https://umbelorganics.com/pfas-pfc-free-winter-outerwear-kids/

      There are some very well-regarded ski brands on that list, so you won’t be going with some weirdo fringe brand. I have never used the brand Reima myself, but the blogger Hungry Runner Girl did some sponsored posts about it (four kids on skis) and said she loved it.

    • Anon says

      i will also say that Target makes two different versions. One is more for playing in the snow and then a different (more expensive) one for skiing. i got Target ones bc i have twins and so literally don’t need for them to last more than 2 days bc we live in a warm weather climate.

    • Anonymous says

      My kids are 7 and 10 and have been skiing for years. I’d buy good ones, used. Lands end is okay, but more on the “snow pant” and less on the “ski pant” end of things- if you have a decent skier they’ll want breathable pants with lots of pockets that keep the snow out of their butts when they fall and ideally pretty easy on/off. My kids have loved their Helly Hansen bibs, and my 10 year old has some really cute and functional Obermeyer ones. Spyders are great as well. My kids go back and forth between bibs and pants; we honestly have some of each because for playing in the snow on snow days they want differnt things than for when they ski.

    • Anonymous says

      Canadian who skis and I swear by the Columbia adventure bib pants. Waterproof and reasonably priced. We probably have like 8 pairs in the house of various sizes between 3 kids.

  4. Anonymous says

    PSA CVS Photo has 60% off their holiday cards right now. Designs are basic, but they print quickly and come with envelopes.

  5. Birth Control Q says

    I’m due to give birth in the next couple weeks. At my last OB apt my doctor asked me about whether or not I’d want to have an IUD placed while I was on the epidural. I’m done having kids. DH will get a snip at some point but feeling like I should also take some precautions. I’ve been in fertility treatments for essentially the last 8 years so I haven’t had to give BC much thought. I just stuck to the traditional oral pill because it’s easy to go on/off of and is used in some parts of the course of treatment itself.

    I also have a bad case of PCOS. On the one hand I’m done – D O N E – having hormones pumped in to my body after so many years of treatments, taking medicine daily, etc. But, on the other there seems to be something to be said about BC helping manage some of the side effects of PCOS, based on covos with my OB and some preliminary reading.

    I know very little about IUDs as I feel like they really came to be en vogue while I was in the early bits of treatments years ago. I talked about this at some length with my doctor at my apt last week but still don’t really seem to have a clue about what to do and the clock is ticking. Any perspective or thoughts? Things to consider? Sort of leaning toward yes, place it because it’s easily removed if I don’t like it. But, Idk. I’m really sensitive to gnarly side effects, again, after so many years of nasty fertility drugs.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      I can’t speak to how it would be with PCOS or after fertility treatments, but I love my Mirena IUD. No side effects here, and I love not having a period every month (they’ve basically gone away for me). They’re approved for up to 8 years now I believe, so I’m just keeping it in until then, and then seeing if I want a new one.

      • OP says

        Oh wow – I didn’t know it came without side effects. If I’m being super honest, I’m most concerned about weight gain. I was on ozempic pre-pregnancy and intend to get right back on it as soon as I can. The pill feels like the devil I know, but if side effects are really limited, that’s a strong pro in the Mirena column.

        • anon says

          It doesn’t come without side effects for everyone. For me, Mirena caused light bleeding near-constantly (enough that I needed a pantiliner) for almost a year, and I also had hair loss and acne. I ultimately had it removed because the much-vaunted no-periods life was showing no signs of appearing. My understanding is that if you had a negative response to a progesterone-only pill, or know yourself to be sensitive to progesterone, you’d be more likely to have negative side effects on Mirena.

          My understanding is that about a third of women lose their periods on Mirena, and that for another third or so bleeding becomes irregular but doesn’t disappear. I think that the side effects I experienced are pretty rare, but my OB-GYN did say that other hormonal IUDs may have lower risk of even those.

        • Anonymous says

          Mirena works for a lot of people but it’s not “without side effects” for everyone. It made my period migraines worse and I gained weight (I literally lost 10lbs immediately after I was off it). We use condoms which work if you use them!

      • Anon318 says

        Another good mirena experience here. I’m on my third mirena (one for 3 years prior to first child, one for a year between children, and I’m now in year 7 of my third). Insertion pre-kids was rough, but I didn’t even feel the insertion at 10 weeks postpartum after each kid. Pre-kids I had spotting for a few months post-insertion, post-kids I had no issues at all. I had heavy painful cycles pre-mirena and felt like an anxious lunatic on the pill and ring. With mirena I still have a very light cycle with no cramping and I feel like myself (or like the self I want to be without hormonal influence). DH and I have considered a vasectomy, but decided against it for now because I would still want to keep my IUD even if he was snipped!

    • Anonymous says

      My IUD caused ovarian cysts, which were likely a factor in my miscarriages and quite painful. Personally I would not get one again, even though it was great not getting my period.

    • Anonymous says

      I had constant weight gain with Mirena that my doctor insisted could not possibly be related. Immediately after I had it removed the weight melted off. That said, I had fewer side effects and less weight gain with Mirena than with the pill. I found placement of the IUD to be more painful than unmedicated childbirth, so there is something to be said for having it placed while you have an epidural. However, I’d ask about the risks, if any, of having it placed immediately after giving birth. I think the usual recommendation is to wait something like 6 weeks.

      • anonamommy says

        Same – I am about to have my Mirena removed after 5 years because the weight issue is just too much. Both my PCP and GYN swear that there’s no correlation of Mirena and weight gain but I have several friends who had similar issues. Maybe it’s a combination of peri happening at the same time, who knows, but for me it’s been as bad as the pill. I do love not having a period but DH is finally getting snipped — and after 20+ years, I am DONE with hormones in my body.

        • Anonymous says

          Yup I gained 10lbs and my OBGYN was like oh yeh it can totally cause weight gain in some women.

    • Mary Moo Cow says

      I had an IUD placed at my 6 week check up after my second baby because I had weight issues (didn’t lose weight no matter what I did) and horrible emotional side effects with traditional pill for years. My doctor recommended an IUD for these reasons but also because I was pretty sure but not sure sure that we were done with kids, and the IUD is easily removed. It was painful to have done, but it is quick. I had daily bleeding for a few months after insertion, but it tapered off over time and was really light by the end. My doctor had me in for a check up but confirmed this was an uncommon, although known, side effect of Mirena and I was physically fine. I’ve really enjoyed it because I don’t have the depression I had while on pills and I don’t have to remember to take a pill every day. I’ve never heard of anyone having an IUD placed while under an epidural; I know several moms who chose it after baby 2 and it was all done at the 6 week check up.

      • Anon says

        Yeah I’ve mainly heard of people having it done at the 6 week appointment. You bleed, often quite heavily, after having the baby so I’m not sure how that would work with the IUD. I think your cervix is still fairly open at 6 weeks postpartum, which makes insertion easier vs months or years down the road.

    • Anon says

      I think it’s better to think of the side effects of a hormonal IUD as more limited than the pill, rather than non-existent. The hormones are at a lower dose than the pill and are supposedly limited to only your uterus, so I think most people have less side effects with an IUD than on the pill. I have migraines/hair loss on the pill, whereas I do not with an IUD. I also do not have a period on an IUD. The main side effect I have had is that after I’ve been on an IUD for a certain amount of time, I start having cystic acne– I had less of this on my current IUD than the last one– so also could have been related to skincare products, etc.

    • AwayEmily says

      If you are done for sure, then why not have him get the snip immediately — I’m assuming you won’t be engaging in any pregnancy-causing activities for a few months anyway, so great timing! This is the conclusion I came to after poring over the pros/cons of all the different options. They seem to have such variable and random side effects and I honestly just did not want to deal with the whole trial and error process. So, snip FTW!

      • OP says

        Oof, Complicated question about “done for sure” vs a more flippant “I’m done!!!!” because I’m currently sitting 38 weeks pregnant and cannot fathom doing this again. I’m not sure which “done” wins out.

        I always wanted three. The fertility regimen to get here will have only yielded 2 live births and I’m 39. I think logically I’m done but want to leave the door open as I come down from the pregnancy / newborn phase. I have 5 embryos on ice and something about discarding them is just too much of a mental step for me to process, despite the cost of $110/month to store them. Snip right now feels similarly final and I’m still sort of processing the third child that never was/likely never will be.

        • Anon says

          Yeah, I get that. I’ve been 99.9% one and done since before we had our only, but it’s never felt urgent to do permanent birth control so I’ve never pushed it and now we’re just aging out of having biological children. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting an IUD or using another birth control method until you feel 100% certain you’re done (or biology makes the decision for you).

        • AwayEmily says

          I TOTALLY get that ambivalence and wanting to keep the door open just in case. I had my first at 36, second at 38, and third at 41, so a very similar timetable (I felt pretty much done after the first two and then slowly came around to #3). Good luck!!

        • Anon says

          I felt this way – and we used c0nd0ms for a while. It actually worked really well for all the reasons (I am really sensitive to birth control, and didn’t need anything else messing with my post partum hormones, also the lubricated ones were awesome when I was still b-feeding). We did end up having a third, and he got snipped right after the third and final baby was born.

    • Anonymous says

      Just have your husband get the snip! It’s his turn (is the argument I used).

    • Anonymous says

      i also have bad PCOS and would say ymmv with hormonal IUDs. I had a pretty bad reaction to the mirena (and I really WANTED it to work) and had bad, bad cystic acne, hair loss from getting it. I stuck it out 6 mo and then h ad it removed and both the cystic homornal acne and hair loss improved without me changing any other lifestyle things. What about the copper IUD?

    • anonymous says

      I’m on copper IUD #3, and I’ve loved them all. I had a scheduled C for my last pregnancy and I asked about having the IUD placed as part of the procedure since I knew I’d want one once I resumed pregnancy-causing activities, but the MFM I was talking to advised that they prefer to wait til the 6 week appointment to place them–apparently there’s an increased risk of your uterus ejecting the IUD if you place it immediately post-partum, presumably connected to its general process of bleeding and contracting back to its non-pregnant size. I’ll also say that my pre-pregnancy IUD insertion was uncomfortable but manageable (drove myself home after); post-pregnancy it’s been no problem. Probably relevant here to know that I fully dilated and pushed with baby 1 but ended up with an unscheduled C; baby 2 was a scheduled C.

      Anyway, all that to say I strongly recommend an IUD (and that it’s worth considering copper–my periods were originally somewhat heavier, but that effect seems to have receded over time, and I’ve had no other side effects) but maybe consider getting it placed later.

  6. Anon says

    Any suggestions for free or low-cost pick-me-ups? It’s kind of a crummy week for me, because most of my organization is going to an annual conference that I used to go to but was uninvited from after becoming a mom and have never been allowed to return to (yes, I have Thoughts about this). I always feel sad this time of year, but the silver lining is I have a very light week at work with no meetings, no deadlines and essentially no email traffic since almost everyone is gone. I would love ideas for things to do to take my mind off this. I have a massage booked for later in the week, but otherwise am hoping to not spend much money. The weather in my area is nice and I’ll be walking solo or with a friend pretty much every day.

    • Anonymous says

      Podcast rec to listen to when you are walking – Murder on Sex Island. Also, Britney Spears’ audiobook!

      • Anonymous says

        I like Betwixt the Sheets: the history of s*x, scandal and society by Dr Kate Lister. There’s some wild topics but lots of fun ones in there from an academic and women’s studies viewpoint

    • GCA says

      Job hunting? (Only partially joking. An org that doesn’t value people once they’ve given birth is not an org I want to work for.) I would consider this a free week off and do all the mood-boosting things: take the exercise class that doesn’t otherwise fit your schedule, try a new coffee shop, go to the library and check out a new book.

    • An.On. says

      How about a library book? Or plan yourself a themed dinner & movie/tv night (baked goods & Great British Bake Off, Italian & White Lotus, lunchables & Abbott Elementary etc). Buy a used jigsaw puzzle. Finally get around to that home decor project, or clean out your old stuff and donate it.

    • Anonymous says

      Light candles at breakfast and dinner.
      Go onto the library catalogue and reserve a bunch of books (or visit and check out a bunch of stuff)- include fun cookbooks for browsing .
      Do you belong to a gym that has a hot tub or sauna? Use it!

    • OOO says

      I’m so curious as to why you would no longer go to the annual conference. Have you asked? I imagine the conversation going something like, “Hey Boss, looks like I fell off of the group that goes to the annual conference after I returned from my maternity leave a couple years ago. I would love to go to the conference next year.” And then Boss responding, “Oh, we didn’t think you would want to or could spend a few days away from your child/ren. Of course you can come!”

      • OP says

        I don’t want to get it too much detail but I have asked and been told no. It’s definitely not a case of not knowing I’m interested. It’s the sole decision of one person in upper management. My boss and other direct colleagues think it’s unfair, but there is a limit to how much they can do. Of course, this person would tell you their decision has nothing to do with my parental status, but I disagree.
        I do hear the people saying find a new job, but the person who makes this decision fortunately doesn’t really impact my work life in other ways. It’s obviously not a great feeling to be excluded from the big annual event, but it’s not something I’m going to leave an otherwise decent situation over.
        Thanks for the suggestions on things to do and for letting me vent a bit.

        • Spirograph says

          That is shady AF and I’m sorry it happened to you. I’d take a random day off work and treat myself to some combination of a date with a good book, or a museum, or a pedicure. Also lunch + walk and a podcast, if you’re somewhere that still has nice weather. Or lunch with a friend, if you’re more extroverted than I am.

          Podcast rec: Normal Gossip (but I am *very* intrigued by Murder on Sex Island mentioned above!)
          Book rec: Thursday Murder Club series. In general it’s a fun, feel-good series, but fair warning that the latest book made me cry a couple times.

    • anon says

      I love to get a couple of good magazines that I wouldn’t normally read and just luxuriate in that for a while when I’m feeling low.

    • Anonymous says

      This is kind of dumb but a few years ago I signed up for a TON of birthday freebies, except I spread the dates of my “birthday” throughout the year. The ones I consistently use are a free small Pinkberry with toppings, and the Sephora birthday freebie, but there are a lot of others available. For some, you might be able to get them right away if you say your birthday is imminent, but you also might find satisfaction in queuing the others up. https://www.womansday.com/life/entertainment/a36295235/best-birthday-freebies/

  7. Puppy Teeth! says

    We recently adopted a very large rescue puppy who is being a puppy and mouthing my 8 and 6 year olds. We are working on training all of them but it’s a transition, especially with my 8 year old. He is having trouble not feeding the issue by pulling away, screeching, flailing, etc. Please give me your positive stories about getting through this phase with puppies and kids.

    • anon says

      How old is the puppy? TBH – what solved this for us was e-collar training.

    • Anonymous says

      It is definitely just a phase! Make sure you have plenty of toys and chew treats (bully sticks, stuffed Kongs, etc.) available for your puppy. Your kids can redirect to the toys or chew treats as needed. I think rope toys were especially helpful for our puppy. In contrast to the poster above, I don’t think an e-collar is a good idea for normal playful puppy behavior :(

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      No tips but right there with you with our 3.5 month old puppy and 5 and 7 year olds (particularly my older kid who riles her up)! I hope this phase ends soon…

      • Puppy Teeth! says

        me too!!! we have so many toys and constant redirection. I don’t even mind him taking shoes as if he owns them but walking up to me and out of nowhere mouthing my leg or foot is not my favorite.

  8. Anon says

    i woke up yesterday with laryngitis/a cold (i had one two weeks ago that lasted for 10 days, and I was better for a week before getting sick again). Twin A was up half the night with a fever. Twin B was up some too because they share a room and Twin A ended up in my bed. DH slept in the kids’ room with Twin B. Twin B was upset to go to school this morning without Twin A. She’s done it many time at her preschool, but first time in kindergarten and was also jealous that Twin A was with me. And DH heads out of town later today until Friday. Bedtime tonight should be fun as should tomorrow morning when I have to schlep both kids to school, but Twin A will likely be staying home again. Is it Friday yet?

    • Anon says

      I don’t know how this would work for your twins, but for my 6yos I keep a roll of unicorn stickers and offer then as consolation prizes when one is jealous of the other. “You’re upset that you have to take the bus alone while your sister gets driven to school after her appointment? Let’s get a sticker you can bring with you on the bus!” “You’re jealous that your sister gets the middle seat in the carpool she gets to sit next to your friend? I’ll go put a sticker on your desk for when you get home to thank you for being so flexible!” It’s a very little thing that basically costs me nothing, but gets them to snap out of spiraling into despair about the injustice of their life.

  9. Anon says

    In general, would you expect a 3-year-old (3 years, 2 months) to be able to ride a balance bike? Would you be worried if he just couldn’t seem to figure out what to do with it? I got my nephew a balance bike when he was 18 months old and his mom is worried that he still hasn’t really figured out how to use it – he’ll sometimes straddle it, but hasn’t figured out how to sit down and ride it despite multiple attempts. I don’t have kids (yet) myself and to me, it seems like this is probably normal…?

    • Anon2 says

      Seems normal. My (quite athletic) kids didn’t even start riding a balance bike until age 3, and they took some time to learn how to coast. The were both riding two wheelers with no training wheels by age 4! Once it clicks they take off.

      My youngest is 2.5 and can’t do the balance bike yet, but loves his scooter (whizzes around, does tricks, holds one leg up in the air, etc).

      Generally I like scooters better for ages 1 and 2, and don’t introduce balance bike until 3+.

    • Atlien says

      My almost 4-y-o has no interest in the balance bike and consequently no skills on it. I wouldn’t worry!

    • Anonymous says

      My kid is the same age and can sit on it and “walk” while on it to make it go forwards but can’t get the hang of going fast enough to make it glide.

      Has had zero issues with the scooter, though, so I’m not concerned. Anecdata is that about half the kids on my street have had the same issues with balance bikes and took took to scooters much faster than bikes. All seem to have figured out pedal bikes by age 6-7.

    • Anon says

      I wouldn’t worry at all. We never owned balance bikes but my (for context, fairly unathletic) kid had access to them at daycare but didn’t start using them until 4.5 or so. It took her a while to figure out the pedaling motion for a regular bike, but once she had that down we were able to get rid of the training wheels quickly (at age 5). Age 3 seems on the youngish side for a balance bike from what I’ve heard from friends. I agree with above that scooters are much more common for 1-2 year olds and some kids will really take to scooters and never have much interest in balance bikes.

      • Anon says

        Sorry I meant 18 months is young for a balance bike. I don’t know anyone who introduced it that young. Age 3 is a normal age to introduce it, but it’s also very normal for a kid to not take to it immediately (or ever – plenty of kids learn to ride bikes without first riding balance bikes).

    • More Sleep Would Be Nice says

      My almost 6 year old is struggling to pedal his bike with training wheels. After posting on this board, I also asked my friends in real life, and it turns out their kids around the same age also aren’t biking regularly. (Now many of their kids do scooters, which mine don’t.) I put my almost 3-year-old on a balance bike this weekend and he was into it for like, 2 minutes? They’d rather just run around, kick balls, race, wrestle, etc.

      Some kids are just on the lower end for these gross motor things. My kids 100% get it from me :)

    • anon says

      My 3.5yo has a balance bike but much prefers his scooter. He will occasionally ride it especially if dad is riding his bike but doesn’t have much interest yet.

    • Anon says

      my 5 year old twins never took to the balance bike and instead like to ride their bikes with training wheels and their scooters. nothing to be worried about.

    • anon says

      My kids figured out how to use a balance bike at…5.5? Their cousin was confidently doing it at 2. Kids are different and it’s normal.

    • anon says

      My 5.5 year old never liked the balance bike. Got it at 3 and persistently tried but just no go at all. She skis, does ballet, plays tennis – plenty of coordination in other ways. Just….hates the balance bike. Nothing to worry about at all.

    • Anonymous says

      nah, unless you have other PT type concerns just chalk it up to kids being different. 2/3 of my kids could never ride a balance bike. One didn’t ride a 2 wheeler confidently until almost 6.5. All 3 are happily cruising without training wheels.

    • Anonymous says

      No I think it’s fine he’s still little but what are “multiple attempts”. Like once a month? I take my kids out about 4 nights a week to ride bikes or scooters, or ride up to the playground on the weekends. My 2yo could do the balance bike at 2.5 and is riding without training wheels at 4 (which is early!). But I do think consistency helps, like with anything.

    • Anon says

      I have 4 very different kids — they range from exceptionally and unquestionably coordinated to highly uncoordinated. None of them really ever mastered the balance bike. All of them learned to ride a 2 wheeler without issue. The only family I know who had a ton of success teaching their kids to use balance bikes is a family of avid, serious bikers. I think their kids saw their parents on bikes all the time and had a better understanding of what biking looked like/just mimicked their parents. Also, the family was always on bikes. We just weren’t that dedicated, and I don’t think the kids really intuited how to glide on them. In fact, my most coordinated kid figured out the balance bike AFTER she learned to ride her 2 wheeler.

    • Anonymous says

      I have seen very, very few kids actually gliding on balance bikes. The vast majority seem to just “walk” around on it, which doesn’t look like much fun. I wouldn’t worry and would consider giving him a Kickboard scooter because these seem to meet with much more success.

      • Anon says

        I’ve seen plenty of kids (not my own) master balance bikes. I don’t think it’s unusual or concerning for a kid to not be interested in them, but lots of kids are.

        • Anon2 says

          +1 Many kids figure it out and have tons of fun on them (including my own). You do need to give them lots of time to play around with the bike, which begins with the awkward walk-around. Then it turns into the awkward run-around and then to lifting up their feet

  10. Anony says

    5 weeks as a PITA (sometimes literally so painful which I know is a bad sign blah blah) then started to get better with both kids. Dropped the nipple shield; baby’s mouth got bigger. Ended up going 10-14 mths with each. However as much as I want to say “hang in there, it gets better” it’s totally up to YOU! There’s also no sense in powering through if it’s a PITA!

  11. Anon says

    How do you cope when everyone at your home AND at your work is really needy? And all of it is developmentally appropriate for either the kids age or the employees skillset, but together it’s just too much? I feel like I am answering questions or doing things for other people from 6am to 9pm daily and just so burnt out.

    • TheElms says

      The only thing I have found helps for work is to schedule the work people’s neediness. So I tell people that I have availability to answer questions at a particular time of day and then do it then. For kids I think the only option is get a babysitter and not be in the house. Of course we’ve had a few babysitters call us to come back early when our kids are too much to handle (these are vetted people through an agency too) so I can see how ymmv with my second suggestion.

    • Clementine says

      Oh god, when you find out pls tell me.

      To be honest, what I’m doing today after a lot of ‘Functioning at 110% at work for 12+ hours a day’ is phoning it in on a slow Monday. I’m on emails but I’m also catching up on laundry while on a ‘I’m only here for the 2% of the time they need me but they really need me for that 2%’ phone call. I just took a 10 minute break to walk around the block.

      I’m doing a lot of 5 minute tasks – taking 5 minutes to vacuum the hallway. Taking 5 minutes to throw clothes in the washer. And I’m doing it without guilt.

    • anon says

      I manage 3 people in rather junior roles plus have to deal with several needy internal stakeholders who want everything done ASAP and perfectly. I feel ya.
      I reality, I don’t do all that much to feel less burnt out. I try to run a couple times a week during the work day as me time. I make my husband do the bulk of the bedtime routine most evenings. I also try to spend one naptime a weekend doing something I want to do by myself. I’m lucky because kid is still napping
      It takes a lot of being intentional about boundaries. I spend so much time helping people all day it’s hard for me to stop and offload it to my husband especially when kid prefers me usually.

    • Spirograph says

      This is not the right answer for everyone, but what worked for me was leaning out at work and having fewer needy people reporting to me. I decided that I needed to conserve my mental energy to be there for my kids.

      TheElms is right, though. If you don’t already have an “office hour” time block set aside a couple times a week, that can help. I basically made myself available for drop-in questions & discussion in a particular time block, and communicated to my team that I was *not* available during other blocks. Then I turned off Slack & email notifications for everyone except my supervisor.

  12. Anon says

    is there a kids monthly subscription box that delivers materials for an art project each month?

    • Anon says

      Kiwi & Co. has them. I’m sure there are others.

      I am not a fan of subscription boxes though. I have a good friend who loves to give them to us and I’ve never had a good experience with one. I find it really annoying because they require a lot of parental involvement (at least for kids in the 2-6 age range), and the activities are mostly not that interesting to my kid. And the price tends to be really high for what you get. I know one of the ones my friend got us was $25/box, and for that price you can get a nice Melissa & Doug toy that will last a while. If you have friends who really don’t want non-consumable toys, I think just generic art supplies would be much better than the subscription boxes.

    • Anonymous says

      Yup there’s a ton. We like Kids Art Box but we also have some kid ones from Let’s Make Art for watercolors. Let’s Make Art has video instruction and my 6yo is very comfortable with watercolors so I can kinda set her up and she’s good to go. Kids Art Box (they have 2 age ranges) is more involved on my end but the older kid box teaches about a different artist every month. There’s also the We Craft Box.

  13. anon says

    Best suggestions for entertaining a 3.5 year old on a 10-hour car ride? It will all be in the daytime, unfortunately. He’s allowed to have a tablet when we travel but I don’t want him to do that for 10 hours straight.

    • Anonymous says

      10 hours straight of tablet. Backup ideas are audiobooks and Water Wow if it won’t make him carsick.

      • Anon says

        +1 Water Wows and car games like I Spy and Who Am I? would be my main non-screen suggestions, but this is a good situation to let screentime limits go out the window. We are pretty low screen time in general but my kid has definitely had 10 straight hours on long roadtrips.

    • Anonymous says

      Tablet, books (my kid does not get carsick, so YMMV) and a magnet drawing board. A search shows Ms that target has one called “b toys magnetic drawing board” for $16.99. We have in d that we just keep in the car and even at 4.5 old, he loves it. He will use it on the way home from daycare sometimes just to have a quiet calm down activity.

    • anonM says

      LCD Writing Tablet/Doodle Board; Color Wonder Mess Free Stow & Go Travel Kit; pack a few little kits with random things. I use little pencil boxes. One has little plastic animal toys; one has mini stuffed animals; one had small rocks from the beach.

    • Anon says

      We did 12 hours with our twins when they were almost 3.5. They watched a little bit on their tablet, but at that age had no interest in tablets for hours on end, so mostly were occupied with other toys. We had a box with picture books and coloring books set up next to their carseats that they had free access to and also had a couple small new toys (tiny dolls, fidgets, little cars) and activities that we handed out periodically. The biggest activity hits were felt boards with shapes they could use to make pictures and the Melissa & Doug puffy reusable sticker books with multiple pages to make scenes. My kids also adored “worksheets” at that age, so we had a stash of printed out activity sheets that they could do with dot stickers (create a rainbow, follow the line, color in the flower, match the uppercase and lowercase letters, etc.)

    • Anon says

      so somehow my 5 year old twins have not caught on and think that our tablets only work on airplanes? the longest drive we’ve done is 6 hours, but mine are super into music, so we usually start with that, and we’ve had some success with audio books/podcasts. at that age wiki stix, crayola color wonder, stickers were all a hit. little toys from like the dollar store with one to unwrap each hour. i don’t think there is anything wrong with 10 hours of screen time, but mine wouldn’t have lasted that long so i’d suggest you start with some other things and then switch to screens. one of mine almost always falls asleep for an hour or two

    • Anon says

      We regularly drive a 10.5 hour drive (but for us with kids it always takes more like 14 hours). I recommend starting as early as possible in the day while in PJs (we leave at 4:30 am) and then stop for breakfast (change into clothes), then stop for snack and a park, then stop for lunch, etc. every few hours get a movement break.

      My kid is screen free so we don’t use the tablet.

      Favorite things: magnet games, stickers, coloring, Yoto to listen to audio books, finger puppets, fidgets, sticker books, wikki sticks, magazines,

      • GCA says

        We’re not screen-free (quite far from it) but seconding the advice to plan for stops!
        Also: LCD drawing pad, playlist of kid podcasts and music, & magnatiles.

    • anon says

      Drive a couple hours, break, drive a couple hours, lunch and playground time, drive a couple hours, break and then hopefully destination.
      We do ample tablet and video time. Try to mix in some pbs kids games with shows. Coloring doesn’t go so well unless a parent is in the backseat actively chasing crayons.

      • Anon says

        On the other hand, we always drive straight through only stopping for bathroom and fast food. It’s hard for my kid to get back in the car seat after a “real” break, and the drive is going to be unpleasant no matter what, so I’d rather get it over with faster. On drives of less than ~6 hours we don’t normally stop and on a 10 hour drive we’d probably only stop once.

        • Anonnon says

          Maybe your kids are older? With babies we have to stop and nurse or change diapers. Toddlers need frequent pee breaks. I could see this working maybe after age 5?

          • Anon says

            My kid is 5 now, but has been able to go ~6 hours since she potty-trained at 3.5. I guess we’re a big-bladdered family!

            But even if you need more frequent pee breaks, you can still keep breaks to bathroom/gas/food only. I’m sure this is somewhat kid-dependent, but it was always really hard on my kid to get out and run around and then have to go back in the carseat. It’s like they get a glimpse of freedom and rebel against being confined again.

          • anon says

            This is how we always traveled, too. Recently potty-trained kids would go in pull-ups just in case, but we pack snacks and meals to eat in the car and only stop for bathrooms and gas and go at least 4 hours between stops (we’ll usually do 2 bathroom breaks on a 12-hour drive, for example). It seems crazy, but transitions are hard for my kids.

    • anon says

      Admittedly, we got really lucky with our easygoing kid but on long drives, we take turns listening to music of each person’s choosing, so i get 5 songs, dad gets 5 and then my kid gets 5. he’s 4 and it’s actually a fun way to do math because he’ll countdown the songs for himself.
      boogie boards
      and we chat

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