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I don’t camp, but if I did, this campsite organizer would be awesome!
This portable organizer has three shelves for camp gear like kitchen supplies, grilling supplies, and other gear. It collapses to a flat four inches and includes a storage case. The hard top also doubles as a table.
In addition to camping, some reviewers have used it in their vans, RVs, and cabins. I could even see using it if you’re spending an entire day at the beach or a park.
L.L.Bean’s Campsite Organizer is $129.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lands’ End – 30% off full-price styles
- Loft – Extra 40% off sale styles
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- Zappos – 26,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Birthday sale, 40-50% off & extra 20% off select styles
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off all baby; up to 40% off all Halloween
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Extra 30% off sale styles
- Old Navy – 40% off everything
- Target – BOGO 25% off select haircare, up to 25% off floor care items; up to 30% off indoor furniture up to 20% off TVs
Anonymous says
Tell me about hiring a nanny. I’m due with #2 in December, and my older child will be in kindergarten then. I’m thinking of switching to a nanny from our previous daycare situation. I expect it will be way more expensive, but we can swing it. And we’d definitely want to hire a service to handle the taxes/legal issues. Should we start with an agency, or go through care.com, or something else? We’re in the DC suburbs (MD) if that matters. Thanks!
Anon says
I’m in a different geographic area, but we found our nanny on Care.com and used Homepay to manage all the payroll and taxes. Our nanny experience was not great, but working with Homepay was a dream. We had one minor issue where we got a letter from the IRS about an issue with our employer filing, I called Homepay and there immediate response was “we’ll take care of it!” and I never heard from them or the IRS again — truly a dream customer service experience (I say as I enter week 3 of fighting with Lowe’s to get a refund for a refrigerator they delivered with an obvious manufacturing defect…)
govtattymom says
Congratulations! My kids have a similar age gap and have a very sweet relationship. I looked for nannies on care.com, facebook, and nextdoor. Surprisingly, I found the best candidate on nextdoor. We used Poppins Payroll for the payroll, tax, etc. issues. I really enjoyed having a nanny but she eventually went back to school and we switched to daycare plus aftercare. Best of luck!
CCLA says
Congrats! We’ve had a couple of nannies and have used agencies. Our kids are 5 and 7 now and our nanny is also a family assistant since our kids are in school part of the day. Not in your geo area so unfortunately can’t give specific recs there, but I’d use an agency if you can swing it. Costs a lot (ours was I think 15% of first year’s salary) but saved so much time in what was a long process anyway. We were very picky this time around because we wanted someone who would hopefully be with us for several years, and it was really helpful to have someone vetting the candidates. Last time, when youngest was an infant, we were faster because it was always meant to be (and nanny knew this too) a stop-gap until youngest started daycare.
I echo the above posted that Homepay was excellent. We used that a few years ago and the only reason I moved to GTM this time was it’s the only one I found that supports coordination and processing of a QSEHRA for healthcare reimbursement. GTM is just OK…online interface is great and the general customer service is great, but their tax department is understaffed and slow to respond to questions.
I’m not aware of any service that handles legal matters, but the agencies I’ve used will provide a form contract to use and I just modified it. Ensure you have workers comp via your homeowners or renters insurance. If nanny will drive your vehicles, add her to your auto insurance and make sure a driving screen is included in the background check. I’d consider doing this even if you don’t anticipate a lot of driving, in case it ends up being needed later.
My other advice is to be clear about scope of responsibilities (having a contract is great for this and other reasons!). If you want someone who is going to do the laundry and run errands, say so up front. Much harder to add later. Good luck!
Anon says
We found our amazing nanny on care.com and also use Homepay (which is expensive but easy to use with great service).
I’d also ask your neighbors or friends for referrals. We have an email list specific for our neighborhood and people regularly recommend their former full-time nannies once they no longer need FT help.
Anona says
In the MD suburbs, I would recommend joining local Facebook groups for recommendations. Lots of people posting to help nannies they love find their next role after their children age out.
Anon says
I’m in the same area and everyone finds Nannie’s through word of mouth, mom’s group’s, or Facebook groups. If you’re up for a nannyshare that would be cheaper but honestly the public schools around here start so late that having a nanny who can get big kid to school and back while also having the baby would be incredibly convenient and potentially cheaper than baby plus aftercare. If you aren’t already on neighborhood Facebook groups or email listserves ask around and let people know when you’re looking – people start posting usually 2 months before they are leaving their nanny or share for daycare so there’s a lot of turnover, although it is stressful to be so close to going back to work before you have something lined up.
Anon says
We have 2 young kids and live in the same city as my in-laws and a long plane ride away from my parents.
Whenever my husband is in charge of the kids he takes them to his parents’ house and has his mom watch them. Usually with him there but sometimes without.
I’m annoyed and can’t tell if I need to just let it go (he’s handling it how he wants to handle it, it’s his family dynamics, my MIL is lovely and I have 0 qualms about the kids spending time with her) or if it’s something worth fighting (he needs to be able to take care of both kids solo and not just shuck work off to the women in his life).
Otherwise is an engaged parent. We’ve discussed his preference for other chores compared to childcare (so will clean up after dinner rather than give the kids a bath unless the kids expressly ask for him etc).
What do you all think?
Anonymous says
How often is he “in charge” of the kids and takes them to MIL? Is this when you’re on a business trip, or on a Saturday when you go to brunch with your friends? What I’m getting at is, do you get the kind of breaks and support he gets, or not? If yes, then I’d let this go as long as you’re comfortable with MIL’s childcare (and you said you are). If no, then maybe focus on how you can get your own break time and support, either from him or from other childcare.
I also totally understand having a sneaking feeling that your DH doesn’t really want to spend time with his kids — we faced a similar dynamic a while ago, but then my DH got laid off and had to take over a lot of daily tasks with our kids and really rose to the occasion and now it feels a lot more equal for us.
Anon says
Had a nesting fail.
I think I’d start making it my “preference” to handle easy, straightforward chores like wiping down a counter instead of dealing with the difficulties of child bath and bedtime. It’s absolutely not fair to “prefer” the easy chores if that preference becomes the routine rather than an equal trade off. Dumping the kids with grandma would also bug me for sure but idk what to do about it. Sounds like she enables it.
Anon says
Lol, despite being a SAHM I still choose bedtime over dishes and cleaning the kitchen EVERY time. So I do baths, pjs, teeth etc while my husband cleans up. I think preference is in the eye of the beholder. But if the workload doesn’t feel fair to OP then it’s okay to rebalance.
Anon says
I can see why that bothers you. It seems like he’s getting an out/getting off easy when it’s his “turn.” One thing to consider is, is it causing an objective problem? Are the kids acting up because they are at grandma’s too much, are there things he or they should be doing at home instead, has grandma expressed overwhelm, etc. That would be a place to start the conversation.
If not, then think about whether this is actually a great situation of grandma getting her time with the kids without you having to be there during your own free time. Historically, people are meant to raise their kids inter generationally, and just because it’s “easier” for your husband doesn’t mean it’s wrong — maybe even the opposite, it’s supposed to be easier for us all!
My sister lives in town with my parents and very often takes her kids over to visit, hangs out there for parts of the weekends, has my mother come over and keep her company, etc. I occasionally feel jealous, as a mom of many who is by myself with my kids a lot, but this is how I set up my life, and there are a lot of positives to where I live and how I don’t have to worry about scheduling around grandparents.
anon says
+1, I like this approach. (Also, DH does this. Not every time or anything, but if I have a late work deadline he usually goes to his parent’s house.)
It also sounds to me like YOU need a break. Usually when I get resentful of DH I just need to ask clearly for what I need. Maybe MIL can babysit while you both go on a date night? In law dynamics are tricky and so by-family, but sounds like they might be up for this and it could be a great win-win. When we have the in-laws I’m not as close to (DH’s parents both are remarried), I try to make sure we structure it in a way that we come early to get some time to visit so it isn’t so drop-and-run, but YMMV (ex- with my mom a drop-and-run is perfectly fine, but we see her a lot more).
Anonymous says
Related, can you take the kids to grandma’s sometimes when you need a break? One benefit of what your husband is doing is potentially the opportunity to be in your home alone, which I found so rare.
Anon says
I don’t really love more unpaid female labor as a solution to her DH not pulling his weight, tbh.
Anon says
not everything in life needs to become some sort of “issue.” depends if grandma enjoys these visits from the grandchildren or finds them to be a burden.
Anon says
It’s hard to assess that DH is not “pulling his weight”, as she says he’s an engaged parent. And not everyone views spending time with family as “unpaid labor.” Some people like hanging out with their grandkids!
Anon says
If the MIL is pushing DH to bring the kids over (which I suspect might be the case) I don’t think it’s fair to characterize it as “unpaid female labor” or him “not pulling his weight.” If Grandma resent this, different story, but there’s nothing in the post to suggest she does.
I said this below, but I also think there’s a big difference between dumping the kids on grandma and leaving, and staying and hanging out with his mom and kids together. OP said he stays most of the time.
anon says
Characterizing this as “unpaid female labor” is wack. This is the kind of mutual interdependence that has characterized family life forever. Where are we as a society that grandma watching the kids has to be viewed through the lens of capitalist market economics?
Anon says
If you mean unpaid female labor has characterized family life forever, then I agree!
Anon says
How old are the kids? Is the MiL a responsible caregiver? This would bother me too, but assuming she’s not just plopping them in front of the TV for hours, I’d probably let it go. If the kids are still tiny it will likely get better as they get older. Many (most?) people find caring for toddlers kind of a slog. It’s a bigger red flag if your kids are school age.
Anon says
That would annoy me to no end, but I don’t know that it’s worth taking on directly.
I’d probably look for opportunities to encourage him to parent solo to build his skills and confidence, e.g., around bedtime or when in laws were out of town, when it would be impractical for DH to take them to MIL’s so he would need to be responsible. I’d also look for opportunities for him to take over more regular childcare, e.g., being responsible for bath time, so he gets more comfortable parenting.
Anon says
+1. Might be time for “honey I need a break. Can you do bath time this week? I’ll do the kitchen.”
Anon says
Whenever I am solo parenting I try to get help from the grandparents, and I encourage DH to do the same. Sure we can handle things solo but it seems like a win-win to have grandparents help out during that time. DH never asks his parents to help out because they annoy him, even though I think they are lovely. When I get home from my trip DH is exhausted because he never got a break and hands kid off to me immediately. So I think your DH getting help from his mom is fine, and maybe even a good thing.
anon says
Yeah, I am having my parents over this Sunday bc my husband is taking our oldest boy to a sports thing and I don’t want to deal with the baby and preschooler solo. I do this verrrrry frequently.
Anonymous says
I think it seems unfair because presumably you are enabling him to do stuff solo too, but are taking the burden of childcare (not clear if this is like a weekend away or a couple of hours to see friends / workout / golf etc), whereas when you get your breaks he is also getting a break. Is the solution even more grandma time? You could use the grandparents too for when your husband is out, preferably with drop off! That way you both benefit from what seems to be a wonderful “asset” in an engaged local grandma.
The second piece is that if you are home with the kids you are likely getting other stuff done (like prepping dinner etc), but if he is at grandma’s nothing else is happening at home so when you get back there is a build up of chores. Maybe that is the more practical problem to approach?
We have no local family, but when i am “unavailable” [workout, working etc], my hubby defaults to unlimited TV, which means that I don’t have that tool for when we switch off, unless I want to deal with the consequences, meaning i am doing the lion share of park outings etc.
AwayEmily says
Is it possible that this is MIL-driven? That was the situation in our family…whenever I would leave for a trip, my MIL would volunteer to come and stay while I was gone. Of course, she never made the same offer when my husband was out of town. It ALWAYS irritated me (don’t I deserve extra help while solo parenting, too?) but it never seemed worthwhile to say anything. And eventually it tapered off.
Anon says
I suspect this is a factor as well
Anon says
My BIL does this and it drives me and DH (his brother) nuts. My MIL definitely enables it and then complains to us about it.
My husband is in the reserves and I do typically visit my parents for a few hours when he’s gone, but I am heavily involved. I don’t just plop down on the sofa and take a nap like BIL does.
I also think it’s totally fair to reassess chores any time. I typically don’t mind most chores but when I’m super busy with work, there are things I despise doing and husband and I will swap.
Bad vibes says
This sounds somewhat like my close friend’s ex. He would claim that he was a 50/50 partner. But his 50% was composed of picking up takeout, grocery shopping, light housekeeping, and so on. It was his “preference” for her 50% to be wrangling their toddler single-handedly while he did these other chores. No Stephen, doing tasks that are so easy that you can go through the motions while scrolling your phone are not equal contributions. There is a reason why these things can be cheaply and easily hired out. If one partner’s household contributions can be outsourced to gig economy workers for a hundred dollars a week and the other partner’s household contributions are so demanding that it would require hiring a skilled employee, there is a huge problem. Huge.
Regarding leaving the kids with his mom, I think it depends on how he’s using his newfound spare time and whether he’s capable of caring for the kids independently. Our rule is that both partners should have equal leisure time. If he’s using the extra time to tackle chores that can’t be done while watching the kids, leaving the kids with his mom wouldn’t bother me absent other circumstances. If he’s using the time to sit around and watch tv, I would have a problem with it because now he has more leisure time than I do. Regardless of how he’s using he’s using the time, it would also bother me if he’s incapable of caring for the kids solo. It would make me concerned about the kids’ safety if an emergency arose and he was the only childcare available. I would also lose respect for him because caring for two solo isn’t easy, but it’s a task that I expect any partner of mine to be capable of.
GCA says
100% to your second paragraph.
Is there a concern that he isn’t confident or capable of caring for kids solo? It sounds like he could use more practice and confidence with some childcare tasks (we don’t always get our ‘preference’, dude, sometimes childcare is work).
Is he expecting OP to care for kids solo/ is he falling short on chores while he enjoys more leisure time at his mom’s, or is the ‘Grandma camp’ option open to OP also? (If MIL is lovely and enjoys time with the kids, I would be inclined to bring them over and spend some quality time with her as well. My MIL is awesome and I’d be delighted to spend time at her place if they were closer.)
Anon says
Wow, you are so disdainful. I wonder how women like you stay married. Relationships need mutual respect, not total equality.
Anon says
So I will say that I really value my kids having good, close relationships with grandparents so as a result we do a lot with them.
But, I’d also be annoyed if he’s using his mom for babysitting rather than spending time with his kids.
But I’d be fearful of bringing it up lest the kids get less time with grandma.
Anon says
My husband does this a bit (the MIL bit, not the preference bit which I would really be annoyed by). It annoys me a bit but I have decided to let it go generally – if I ask for child free time and he delivers, he is free to spend it however he wants. He is very social so he tends to go and visit people, and I’m much more of an introvert and am happy to go to the park alone with kiddo. For a while, my kid was having a strong mommy preference and I recommended that he do more one on one fun stuff- park, ice cream, whatever, and he took that to heart and it really helped their relationship, so that may be a good way to frame it.
Anon says
I agree with this. My husband also does this a bit (although in our case it’s my parents that are local) but he’s way more of an extrovert and really needs adult interaction in a way that I just don’t. If he’s not leaving the kids with grandma I’m not sure it’s fair to characterize it as “not pulling his weight” (dumping kids and leaving is very different than staying and hanging out as a multi-generational group) but I do think it’s fair to point out that the kids might enjoy some time with just him, particularly if you feel like kids don’t seem as connected to him as they are to you.
SC says
Ooh, that’s a good point about introversion/ extroversion playing a role. I’m an extrovert, and my husband is an introvert. When I have extended solo-parenting time with DS, I plan something with other people. My parents lived out of town but a relatively short, inexpensive flight away until earlier this year. They’ve both come to help me and keep us company while my husband has been away for a weekend. Now that they live in town, I’d 100% be over at their place if my husband was busy and they were available.
My husband, on the other hand, is more content to just be home with DS. Whenever DS is out of school and doesn’t have camp, I suggest that my husband to take DS to his mom’s or call up some friends who have kids to go somewhere together. Sometimes he does, often he doesn’t. If anything, he ends up inviting people to our house for dinner and making a whole production out of hosting, which is not what I’m going for.
anon says
I do this. If DH is gone, I go to my mom’s or have my mom come over. She asks for more opportunities to see the kids and is an amazing grandma (always has a craft, baking project or sensory activity planned!) We tag-team kid and house stuff just like DH and I would together, or she’ll put the kids to bed so I can go to the gym.
DH thinks it’s a little funny that I prefer this since when I’m gone, he’d usually rather spend the time alone – not share authority with another adult, or be in someone else’s space/have someone in his space – and prefers to just listen to a podcast while cleaning up the kitchen by himself. I do get crap from friends/acquaintances who think it is weak or “not real parenting” that I very seldom take care of all the kids by myself. But we moved across the country after baby #2 specifically to be close to my mom and she helps my husband too whenever he wants.
Anon says
I might be your DH in this scenario. We have a 3 year old and a 1 year old, and we live a few blocks away from my parents. I frequently rely on my mom, especially when I have the kids solo. We’re at her house anywhere from 1 to 4 days a week because she offers to make dinner while I pick the kids up from daycare, take a kid to the playground, or pick them up and watch them so DH and I can work late. When I’m solo, I often stay while she watches them and I co-parent, but sometimes I sneak off for a nap. I sound like your DH. When I travel, my DH reluctantly accepts help from my mom. I suspect it’s easier for me to accept help because I have a different and longer relationship with her.
All that said, DH and I are very intentional about equal parenting—we alternate daily who does daycare pickup/dropoff, who does bedtime, who handles nighttime wake ups, etc. We also try to be equal about the solo parenting time and options available, so one of us won’t be the TV, pizza, ice cream solo parent and one of us ia the boring business-as-usual solo parent. (But the reality is that I do more of the mental load for the family, and DH has a lower energy level for toddler needs.)
Aiming for equality can feel like robbing Peter to pay Paul sometimes. Adding in help from Grandma might feel like I’m off the hook from paying my share, but that also might make my DH wealthier, too, because he’s Paul and I’m Peter in this scenario, if you get my metaphor.
Anon says
I think I’d start making it my “preference” to handle easy, straightforward chores like wiping down a counter instead of dealing with the difficulties of child bath and bedtime. It’s absolutely not fair to “prefer” the easy chores if that preference becomes the routine rather than an equal trade off. Dumping the kids with grandma would also bug me for sure but idk what to do about it. Sounds like she enables it.
College savings? says
For those of you with preschool-age kids and younger, are you saving for college through a 529? I have no idea what higher ed will look like in 2038, but I think it is a bubble that’s about to burst soon, and universities will have to lower costs by offering more virtual classes, etc. We’ll have to start contributing $1000 to a 529 each month in order to have tuition fully covered by the time he turns 18. We can probably swing that but I don’t want to have a ton of money tied up in a 529 if tuition rates will drop significantly before then. But if they don’t, then a 529 seems like it would yield a much better return than any other investment option. Btw we live in Michigan.
Anon says
I think about this too and I really freaking hope the bubble doesn’t burst and wind up with virtual classes. I want universities to scale down their sprawling administrations and ancillary services and go back to teaching classes. We haven’t delved into this deeply yet because we’re still just expecting but i don’t anticipate putting a ton into a 529, even with the Roth rollover option. I’d probably rather use flexible savings vehicles.
Anon says
+1 million to not wanting virtual classes. I work for a university with an online arm and the education is not remotely comparable. I do think (normal, in person) State U is perfectly fine for the vast majority of kids though.
Anon says
some of the reason for this admin bloat is that these schools are prioritizing admitting many FGLI students, who often require a lot of additional services. my bff works at a top 25 university and there is an office of 10 that is extremely focused on assisting this population of students (they do help some others as well). The overall undergraduate enrollment is about 4400 students. they also admit a lot of international students (who often pay full freight) and there is an office just for them as well to help with all the visa paperwork. This Office has a staff of 19 (though their reach is a bit broader as they also serve grad students, visiting faculty/scholars, etc.)
Anon says
The university I work at has 10,000 employees and just under 40,000 undergrads. A staff of 10-20 for a particular student group doesn’t seem like a strange ratio to me.
Anon says
the university I mentioned above has a quarter of the number of undergrads as your institution. 4,400 undergrads and another 4,400 grads. a staff of 10-20 for a particular student group is a lot. It has 6,300 employees. That is a completely different ratio than what you mentioned.
Anon says
Right, I get that it’s a much smaller university but I’m saying we have a 1:4 employee: student ratio, so assuming there are at least 50 first gen students (which I’m guessing there are since you say they recruit them heavily?) having a group of 10 employees dedicated to them doesn’t seem wildly out of line.
Anon says
but this is why there is administrative bloat. should there be a 1:4 ratio? should there be so many offices that only serve small sub populations of students?
Anon says
I don’t think tuition will drop. It may stagnate, but I don’t anticipate a drop.
My kids are a bit older (late elementary) but we’re saving aggressively in 529s.
Anon says
I’m investing in 529’s for both of my kids (one is a baby & one is in pre-school). My goal is to have about $100k in each account as they are graduating HS. Right now, my oldest is on track for that with contributing about $300 a month.
I’m very pro 529’s, but for our in-state tuition w/ room and board, our state’s prediction & vanguard calculators are coming up with nearly $300k would need to be invested. I have a hard time imagining most house holds would support their child going to the local state university at that high of a cost. I also do not want to load up a 529 with that high of a balance.
If expenses are really that high at that time, I just plan on evaluating our options then to fill the gap.
avocado says
Our top two state universities are charging between $40K and $44K per year for in-state undergrads and offer almost no merit aid. While I was in law school at one of these universities, tuition nearly doubled. I cannot believe these massive increases can continue indefinitely. My daughter turned down a place in the honors program at this same school for a private college that will be less expensive after merit aid, so they are clearly losing top students already over the outrageous costs.
Anon says
Whoa for in-state!? That’s super pricey for a state U! Many public universities in the midwest and south have tuition around $10-12k/year for in-state; I know of a few that are under $10k.
Anon says
Yes, we front loaded contributions and we had enough for 4 years of public college by the time my kid started K. I’m not sure we would have been able to do that if not for Covid, since 2+ years of no travel saved us a ton of money.
I don’t really think the bubble will burst… people have been saying that since my childhood 30+ years ago. But I do think kids will be just fine at State U if that’s all we end up being able to afford, and being in Michigan you have excellent state schools that are reasonably affordable.
Anon says
Yes, we save, but aren’t planning to max them out. Hopefully we can save about half of the costs in a 529, and will look to cash flowing/having student take out loans for the rest. People have been saying the college bubble will need to pop soon for 20 years, so I’m not banking on it.
There are also some new updates that allow you to roll over 529 money into IRAs, etc, that you may want to look into.
Anon says
Yea definitely look into the IRA thing. Our son is 4 and we’ve been contributing $50 a month since birth with grandparents doing occasional lump sums. I talked to our financial advisor about when we might want to slow down contributions and he said keep it up for now because of the ITS rule. And there are other ways you could spend the excess
Boston Legal Eagle says
We put in $500/month per kid to their 529s. Grandparents contribute around birthdays. I have a hope that low birth rates and kids generally choosing other avenues in the future will mean that tuition has to go down to get people in the door, but we’ll see. If we end up with extra money in the 529s, I guess they can use it for grad school.
Anonymous says
Keep in mind that you don’t have to have four years’ worth of college expenses available when he graduates high school. You pay for it over 4 years. If you have an extra $1,000 in your monthly budget now, you are likely doing well enough that you’ll be in a position to cash-flow much more than that by the time he gets to college.
I agree with you that the tuition bubble is eventually going to burst. We chose not to use a 529 because it seemed too risky for that reason and others.
New Here says
I have a 4.5 year old. We have a 529. We put some of her stimulus money in it, and then we received $5000 from my great aunt that we used to jumpstart it a little more. We haven’t added anything in a couple of years.
I hope/plan to keep contributing to it, especially once we aren’t paying for daycare. I also plan on sharing the link with the grandparents if they want to contribute. But I will prioritize our retirement first. I was super fortunate that between attending a state school, a lotto-funded scholarship, and my parents’ help, I had no student loans. I hope to help her out as much as possible, but I have no idea if we’ll be able to do the same for her, because as you said – who knows what college will look like then.
Anonymous says
We put a bunch in kiddo’s 529 when she was 0-5. Around kindergarten, we slowed way down on the 529 and switched to putting a bunch in a regular investment account. Basically, we got the 529 to the point where with minimal contributions, it should grow to the projected price of a state university education in our state by the time she graduates HS. We want to save more in case kiddo goes a more expensive route, but we don’t want it tied up in a 529.
anon says
We have about $110k and $90k in each of our two kids 529’s. ages 5 and 7. we think itll grow enough and well cash flow anything additional needed. We’ve always maxed each of our 401ks the last 15 years and invest in real estate/brokerage, so obviously in a fortunate financial position.
Anonymous says
We are, but not super aggressively. We have one child, so it’s a little less daunting, but we used a calculator to figure out what the more expensive potential options would cost at the current rates of growth, and set our contributions to hit about 40% of that for now. We should be able to cash flow the rest. We might increase the contributions a bit next year for tax purposes but it’s still not going to be our goal to go in with all of it saved in advance, since we expect to both still be working.
Anon says
In Michigan you get tax benefits on your 529 plan (if you invest in a MI state plan). They also have a pre-paid program if you’re interested in state schools. I live in VA, which also has state tax benefits and a pre-paid plan, and I have both pre-paid and investment accounts for my 3 young kids. However, I am not aiming to fund these at the point where I would be able to pay sticker price at a private college x3. I absolutely max out retirement benefits (401(k)s + backdoor Roths) first.
A 529’s benefit isn’t about the straight investment yield, but is about the tax benefits – both when you invest and when you withdraw. You can deduct up to $10k/year off of state taxes if you invest in a MI 529 and file jointly. I think 529s are generally very flexible (transferrable to other people, can be used for K-12 education, can be used for trade school, grad school etc.), especially with the new Roth rollover option.
If you are worried about costs dropping a lot (which would be great!) just don’t put tons of money in a 529 – it’s not like it’s $1k/month or $0/month! But it’s almost certain to be worth funding (and front-loading that funding if you have the cash now) at a certain level, because you’re likely going to spending a certain amount of money on education and you may as well get a tax benefit.
Anonymous says
My husband and I met at a private, 4 year small liberal arts college. We are both fortunate re that our parents paid for our college in full. It is something that we aim to be able to do for our child. When I was pregnant, we discussed the cost of college and saving for it with our CFA. If tuition, room and board costs continue to increase at the rate at which they have been since we graduated undergrad in 2007, the full cost of room, board, and tuition at the school where we met is going to be about 180,000 a year (entering in 2037).
Like you said, I don’t know what college will actually look like in 13 years. But we are being conservative and are aiming to be able to pay those costs in full for our child. We’re funding both a 529 and a regular investment account (nicknamed “education account” and that is separate from our other investments) to the tune of about $20,000-$25,000 a year. The idea being that maybe the costs go down or our kid gets a scholarship, and then we wouldn’t want all the money in a 529. But if the trend of increasing college prices continues the way it has been for the last 15 years, then we just pull from the education investment account. If we don’t need the funds from the education investment account, we can gift it to our child as their nest egg.
Again, this is a very, very conservative approach, but we feel really strongly about providing this for our child.
Anon says
That’s interesting. My husband I both went to elite private schools and feel like our parents totally wasted their money. We will probably be able to pay for a selective private school if our kid can get in and wants to go because it won’t be a big financial hardship (especially with the assistance grandparents have offered and what the calculators tell us we’d likely get in need-based aid). But it’s low on our list of financial priorities because neither of us feels a fancy college is very worth it.
Anon says
I am grateful I went to a fancy school but I feel my peers who went to state schools did better, because they were able to settle down and purchase a home sooner and a lot of success has to do with your career choice, not your school necessarily. No job interview was ever wowed by my expensive school, probably because it’s small.
anon says
Yes! 529 is a great deal versus a regular investment account because it grows tax free and there’s no tax on qualified withdrawals, which is great compared to paying capital gains tax on appreciated securities in a regular account.
I think the bigger question is how much one plans on contributing to higher education for a child given the family’s budget and other needs versus the sky-high possible costs of higher education.
octagon says
Our target is 150K by HS graduation. Optimistically that will cover 1-1.5 years of undergraduate, and then we will cash-flow or borrow for the rest. We should be on target to pay off our house by then, and direct the extra directly for college.
I know you can’t count on scholarships, but several friends have kids who have gotten good scholarships or attended military service academies and their 529 funds are in limbo until they need graduate school or take the tax hit and turn it into a house down payment or something. It’s made me more inclined to under-save in a 529 (after maximizing my state’s tax advantages) rather than oversave.
SC says
We are not saving for college. We put $1700 per month aside each month (or $20,400 per year) to pay for private school and summer camps. We also pay about $12-15K per year for OOP health expenses. We are maxing out 401K and replenishing our emergency fund. There’s not really room to save more right now. For the amount we’re paying for private school tuition, we could cash flow in-state university tuition. If DS wants to go to a private school, he’ll have to do so with merit aid or loans.
We do have a 529 account open, and my FIL contributes about $1000 per year. It might buy books or a meal plan.
Anon says
I hear you. I’ve said this before but my daughter attended daycare at a university, and her daycare tuition was significantly more than undergrad in-state tuition (infant daycare was almost double). When people mentioned how stressed I must be about paying for college, it was hard not to laugh. Umm, it’s cheaper than daycare!? By a very non-trivial amount!!! And I know I’m not the only one here who paid more for daycare than it would cost to send their kids to a state university. In my opinion, private college is gravy. If you can fund four years of in-state college for your kids, you’re giving them a tremendous gift and head start in life.
Anon says
I’m a single parent, and I can’t afford to max my 401k, max my Roth IRA, and fund a 529. But I will be old enough to take distributions from my retirement accounts when my kids go to college. So, I’ve mentally tagged my Roth IRA as being for their college expenses and I will see what I can pay from cash flow at the time (since I won’t have daycare or a mortgage to pay then).
My thinking is that my kids may qualify for some need based aid. And schools expect you to use everything in a 529 for college but not everything in a parent’s retirement account, so I’m better off putting my limited funds in the retirement account
Anon says
Your last paragraph is very real. Retirement accounts are totally sheltered from the college financial aid math. You can have $100M in retirement and still get financial aid from college if your income is low enough. My own parents were hugely penalized by scrimping and saving on middle class incomes and amassing enough to put me through private college at the sticker price. When I went, I met tons of kids from much wealthier families who’d gotten need-based aid packages because their parents couldn’t be bothered to save. If you think you can cash flow most of what aid won’t cover (which I realize is a big “if” and likely only a thing for the upper middle class), I really think not saving much is kind of the way to go, at least until they change how they calculate financial aid. Which is pretty messed up.
Heather L Hinds says
+1
And agree this is messed up.
But is definitely what a single Mom should be doing.
Anon says
There is a “Paying for College 101” group on FB that has been hugely eye opening for me. If your income is over $100K you get very little aid, regardless of how many kids are in college, what your assets are, where in the country you live, etc. If you make over $150K you really get nothing. (Loans are a different story)
Anon says
this is simply not true at many private universities these days
Anon says
That’s not true at elite private universities. There’s pretty significant aid for people earning in the mid-$200s if you don’t have huge non-retirement assets. Of course, the vast majority of kids can’t get into an Ivy, so it’s not like you can count on your kids going to Ivies on need-based scholarships, but it’s not true that there’s no aid above $150k. Columbia is actually completely tuition-free if you earn $150k or less, and their calculator tells me my family would get a $35k/year need-based scholarship with an income of $210k.
You’re right that it doesn’t consider cost of living, which has never seemed very fair to me. We’re living pretty high on the hog on ~$200k in a LCOL Midwest city and would certainly be on a much, much tighter budget in Boston or NYC.
Anon says
We have not been aggressively saving yet (FT nanny + private preschool for two kids is extremely expensive) but plan to ramp the savings up hard when our youngest starts K this fall and our childcare costs materially decrease. I’m more of a “they can go to a great state school or get a merit scholarship” kind of parent whereas my husband, who changed the trajectory of his entire career by getting an MBA from a top 5 school, feels differently. I don’t expect costs to decrease; I just don’t know if they’ll ramp up as much as they have historically.
Anonymous says
Late to the thread but we fund a 529 and a brokerage account for our just turned five year old. Combined there is about $150,000 in there, and we add $1500 a month, split between the two accounts.
Vanderbilt University is going to cost $98,000 next year for tuition, room, board, so lord only knows what schools like that will be in 13 years when he’s entering school, or even state schools. I know there are net price calculators, etc, but I just don’t have faith in what those numbers will be, so while I am in the extremely fortunate position (and have time on our side for compounding returns), we’re loading up the accounts.
Anonymous says
late to this thread, but we save very little compared to a lot of folks here! My dad opened 529s for the kids in his state when they were born, but we didn’t open our own until they started aging out of daycare. Our first priority is maxing our retirement accounts, daycare x 3 was expensive, and we sent them to a $$ private school in the 2020 and 2021 school years when our public school district was virtual and recovering from the virtual year. The past several years, we’ve contributed the max for state tax benefits to 529s for each kid, but I think we only have >30k in each account at the moment. I am totally fine with this. I am unconvinced that 4 year university funded by parents right after high school is the best/only path to future success. Both DH and I are veterans and got multiple degrees with no student loans, and I will absolutely encourage my kids to consider enlisting or ROTC. Trade schools are also a fantastic choice. My kids are smart, but IMO the structure of a trade school or the military will serve them – especially the two with ADHD – much better at 18 than going away to a four year university. We’ve already planted the idea that you don’t necessarily need college, and you certainly don’t need college immediately after high school…it all depends on what you’re interested in and what kind of job or career you want.
Portugal says
LL Bean is having a 10% off sale if anyone is interested in this.
Unrelated – how would you plan a 10 day trip to Portugal with 7 year old kids in late summer? I know a number of people have been. Lisbon and what else? How many days in each? Anywhere you like to stay? How do you get around between locations? Flying in and out of Lisbon? It’s been a while since we travelled internationally and my skills are rusty and I feel overwhelmed.
Anon says
I haven’t been to Lisbon but I highly recommend visiting the Algarve coast. We went there on a spring break trip (combined with Seville, Spain) a couple years ago and the whole family loved it. We rented a car and it was easy to drive around. Lots of beautiful scenery, fun beaches and great food.
Anon says
I agree re Algarve. I would probably do 3 days in Lisbon and the rest in the Algarve. There is an airport in Faro, but it is also an easy enough drive from Lisbon. I would rent a car regardless.
Anon says
Lisbon will be hot. I would do Lisbon + nearby beach area. We rented a car when we went, but that was without kids. I know a lot of people though who’ve traveled there with kids
Anonymous says
We took younger kids (4 and 2) to Lisbon + Cascais and loved it. We hired private transport to take us from Lisbon airport to Cascais, from Cascais to Lisbon, and from Lisbon to the airport at the end of the trip. We stayed AirBNB in both cities.
anon says
We did Lisbon and Sintra with toddlers and relying purely on public transit with no issues. It’s easy to get from the airport into Lisbon center and to the train station to get to Sintra. The Algarve coast you’d probably want a car, though.
Another 529 Q says
Jumping off the post above, how do you allocate your 529 money? We have the NY Saves plan for our oldest two kids, and all the money is in target date funds. Returns are good, though looking at them now they may be underperforming the market (13-14% annualized return over 5 years, 21-22% over the last year).
I’m wondering if I should be splitting new contributions between target date and an S&P index fund — or other ideas?
We also still have to open ones for our two youngest kids (one in utero, so it’s not like we’ve just ignored them lol), and now that we live in CT I’m inclined to go with CHET, unless anyone has input one way or another.
Dependent care fsa says
Due to reasons, we withheld the max for dependent care spending account that we do not need for childcare, which is what we historically used it on. Le sigh.
Can someone explain to me in layman’s terms how to figure out what summer camps qualify for reimbursement? That’s the only think I can think of using it on this year. DD is 6 and not in full time care this summer as we have family help but if we put her in, say, 9-3 gymnastic camp for a week, or half days, does that count? Is it only things that are like the Y – so more very full time 9-5 care? Searching online is clear as mud. How else can we use this? Is there any way to amend the withdrawals mid year with a life event?
Anon says
I have a 6 year old in camp for first time this summer and it was very confusing to me too. Sleepaway camps clearly do not qualify. It seems like most day camps do, assuming the adults in the house will be at work or looking for work during the hours the child is at camp. I’m planning to submit reimbursements for all my daughter’s camps, most of which are only a half day and related to a “theme” like gymnastics or the zoo, not just generic Y camp. We didn’t defer anywhere near the max this year because I did quick math and it seemed like all her camps were going to total less than $1,500.
You can also use it for aftercare in the fall, if that’s an option.
I don’t think there’s any way to amend the withdrawals without a qualifying event, but that may be employer-dependent. You could ask your employee benefits office.
I’m sorry! I hate this stuff.
Tea/Coffee says
I successfully used FSA money to cover half day camps (classes, actually) last summer, no questions asked!
Anon says
I’ve used it for 9-12 and 9-3 day camps from a variety of providers without an issue, you just need to make sure you have their EIN when it comes to tax time. Sleepaway camp doesn’t count.
Hilton Head says
Ever wise hive, any recommendations/tips etc for our upcoming trip to Hilton Head? It’s our first time there. We’re going with another family, kids are 4, 6, 7 and 9. Obviously beach, but I know my kids and they will need some alternatives.
Anon says
The thread yesterday on messy eaters (and the resulting clean up tasks) got me thinking. How do you handle chores for elementary aged kids? My oldest is 6. He’s like a stereotype of a dad- he loves projects and helping in big things, but does the minimum around the house day to day. Anything we tell him to do requires lots of follow through on our end (he has adhd, so I’m not sure how much is related to that) but I don’t want to be a lazy parent about this and just not give him tasks…or give more to his younger sister who is much more responsive to tasks (assigned tasks or even small “can you grab me xyz” tasks). Do you have charts? Write a list? Same things weekly? They clear the table after dinner but what else should I assign – preferably easy to follow up on/concrete. He has been VERY motivated by bribes of sweets, but I’m not sure I want that to become our regular approach.
Anon says
Also have a 6 yo with ADHD, and we are currently at a point where he cleans his room every Sunday afternoon (for which I have a checklist posted on his wall) and, new this summer, all the kids do a “10-min tidy” of the main floor before our hour of evening screen time. I have tried and failed in the past to set up chore “systems”, which usually fall apart because our schedule becomes unpredictable or sports pop up in the evenings and it’s a rush from school through bed, so we are gradually layering in tasks that are more sustainable.
With my 8yo, he also makes his bed each morning and gathers and does his laundry on Sunday after cleaning his room. I fold it after he goes to bed, then he puts it away the next morning.
I think we are probably a little light on chores, but as I mentioned, we’re going slowly as our schedule allows. Soon I think we will involve 8yo in loading the dishwasher after dinner/wiping down the table, but my husband prefers to do that while I get everyone to bed.
Anonymous says
Create a family routine that incorporates simple chores at the same time every day or week depending on the chore. Chores must be completed before doing fun things. Charts and complicated reward systems don’t work for my ADHD kid; they are just another thing to overwhelm them and follow up on.
I like bed-making and loading one’s own dishes in the dishwasher as first chores because they help establish a habit of cleaning up after oneself in the moment instead of leaving messes for later, when they are more overwhelming to tackle.
anon says
I have two 7-year-olds with ADHD and we’re also pretty light on assigned chores, trying to find the balance between teaching them responsibility and not burning ourselves out on constant reminders. Daily chores are basically just cleaning up after themselves (clothes in laundry basket, clearing dishes, etc) and getting themselves ready to leave the house (packing their backpack for school/camp). On a weekly basis they clean their room, clean up toys from other parts of the house, and fold and put away their laundry.
We also have a list of one-off chores that they can choose to do to earn screen time (playing games on an ipad) which otherwise they don’t get to do except while traveling.
Anon says
My same age daughter responds really well to a list breaking the task down. Like instead of “please clean the living room” it’s put books on shelf, put any dishes in the sink, put toys in box, and so on. It helps keep it from being overwhelming and getting each item checked off is motivating.