Maternity Monday: Aino Water-Repellent Maternity Parka

In case you think the holiday fun with ILs ends when the kids get older, I am hear to tell you that they do not. I am low-key dreading Christmas with my 14-year-old.

DH’s extended family is just a lot. There are a ton of them (25 or so), and they are all very loud and each person thinks he or she is the most hilarious person in the room. Lots of adults and tiny kids, but the closest person to my teen’s age is his sister, who is still five years younger.

The last few times we’ve been with this group of family, he has been such a grump. Their love language verges on the borderline of banter and teasing, and it makes him uncomfortable. It’s not awful or behaviors that can be easily called out, but he does not vibe with them. And when he’s uncomfortable, he gets quiet and scowly. Which of course makes me feel judged, because he’s “old enough” to shake things off or get with the program and play games and be loud! (Think big “jock personalities” vs. my musical theater kid.)

I can nicely tell them to cool it with the questioning when I can sense it’s going south, but that also feels like I’m embarrassing HIM on top of everything else. Neither DH or I know how to manage this and make the holiday feel more fun for him. Sometimes we get irritated when our son can’t just snap out of it and make nice. But also? I get it. This group of people is completely overwhelming to be around. I don’t like them much, either, but it is DH’s family. On lesser holidays, we have sometimes left early to save everyone’s sanity. That’s harder to do on Christmas when all the family activities are spread across the whole afternoon.

This has always been A Thing, but now instead of a toddler or preschooler melting down because they’re overstimulated and uncomfortable, I have a sulky teen with looks that could kill.

Help! Potty training my almost 3.5 year old boy is just not going well. I’m a solo working mom so some (or probably most) of the failure is due to lack of time and energy, and it’s been so convenient having him in diapers a little longer. He’s also very resistant to wearing underwear, and keeps asking for a pull-up. If I have him naked on his lower half at home all day, he will use the potty with only the occasional accident on the couch, but if I put underwear on, he just pees in the underwear. At preschool he was having so many accidents in his underwear, they just put him back in pull-ups. I’ve tried bribes, making him go every 15 minutes, etc. Any tips?

A request below from my MIL visit after the harmonica drama…the rest of the visit was mostly fine. The thing is, she’s a really kind person (crap parent, but good person), she just does WEIRD things?!

Walking through the city after the theatre was super stressful, b/c it’s like having another kid.

My husband really stepped up on the discipline front which I appreciated. It’s a weird dynamic I don’t love – my son acts out when his grandma is here, I tell him off, she acts like I’m abusive. Honestly, he got told off more in 3 days than he does in 3 months. He’s the easiest kid until she’s around and doesn’t do this for my parents?

He also tried to talk to her about how she can’t see and shouldn’t be driving, to no avail. Her eye doctor told her she definitely shouldn’t be driving with sunglasses at night and should be surprised by this fact. They live in a creaky old Victorian (which would sell for a fortune) and refuse to consider next steps despite the fact that her partner is due a full knee replacement, there are narrow slippy steps, and no downstairs bathroom.

I made a full on Christmas lunch, and everyone seemed appreciative. And they’ve booked in 4 visits for 2025…. so I’m sure I’ll have further tales. I’d like to complain but we see my parents AT LEAST 4X a year, often for much longer periods, so I can’t be a hypocrite.

I could use an outside opinion on childcare. I will be in office Tuesday-Thursday starting in January (currently remote). I do all mornings and evenings until 7 due to my spouse’s work schedule, so all pick up / drop off is on me.

My 2YO currently goes to a “2s program” on Tuesday/Thursday from 8:30-5:30 (he can stay as late as 6). He loves it. He gets about 1-2.5 hours of outdoor time there. The educational program is excellent, the other families are great, it’s close to my home.

On M/W/F my mom at has him 9-5. He spends most of the day outside at local parks with other kids/caregivers my mom has met. He loves my mom but I think he’s getting a little bored on these days.

For backup care, our options are (1) my mom, (2) a list of babysitters, (3) backup care through Bright Horizons or a similar agency where the caregivers are inconsistent. When my mom can’t come, we can’t send him to his 2s program and end up scrambling for backup care (it’s often the case I can’t find a sitter until the afternoon and need to care for him in the morning).

We are considering:
1. Status quo. I would have the longest hours of coverage and more reliable backup care (mom) on 2/3 in office days.
2. Upping him to 3 days at school (has to be MWF) and 2 days with mom with her coming for a longer day. He likes school and will likely be less bored.
3. Keeping him 2 days a week at school + adding something on the 3 days my mom comes. Either sending him to a forest school program 1-2 mornings a week or a drop off class 2x a week. This seems to offer the best childcare coverage but requires more admin to manage multiple programs.

What would you do?

Has anyone seen a multipack of kids’ bow ties in a brick and mortar store? I’m striking out with my usual suspects. Or even a store that sticks bow ties and I could buy a few in multiple patterns?

I posted last week about taking my young kids to MIL’s birthday dinner. It was, as we expected, not a great time but it could have been worse.

Tornado twin loves to eat (gotta fuel all that energy) so he was happy with all the food, especially the bread basket. I did a lap or two around the restaurant with him when he got restless and he smiled, waved, and charmed everyone. He may win our next mayoral election.

3 year old liked looking at the Christmas decorations and was entertained for a bit with the toys I brought but ultimately I needed to call on my Lord and Savior Ms Rachel.

Chill twin had no chill whatsoever. Squirmy, cranky, threw toys on the ground, wouldn’t eat. He threw up as soon as I put him into his car seat to drive home, so that explains that.

Overall 2/10 still don’t recommend but if you have to, try to be seated as far away from others as possible and definitely go early.

My MIL had a great time because she did nothing. To be fair she kinda tried but she really just wants to hold a baby and none of my kids wanted to be held.