Makeup & Beauty Monday: Warm Wishes Effortless Cream Bronzer Stick

How much do your elementary age kids see their friends in the summers? We’re spending half the summer out of town (more than half the weekends, since a one week trip often spans two weekends) and the weeks we happen to be in town don’t line up very well with summer camps that interested my 7 year old, so she’s not doing much camp. She does have two weeks of local camp with a close friend in both camps, and we’ll try to schedule a couple play dates for the non-camp weeks although one of them is next week and it feels like everyone we know is out of town due to the holiday so I’m not sure it will happen. We don’t have neighbor kids her age, unfortunately. I know she’s still pretty little and she’s not complaining about not seeing her friends, but I still feel kind of bad about it – anyone else in the same boat?

another 7 year old, but yesterday at the pool one of my 7 year olds kept telling me to go away bc she just wanted to play with her friend and that this weekend when DH takes her twin sister out of town she doesn’t want to sleep in my room with me and wants to sleep alone in her room (though i’m thinking she might change her mind on that, bc last week she told me she cant sleep when her sister isn’t in the room)….her twin still really likes to be tethered to mommy to some degree….but idk that i’m ready for them to be totally done with wanting to hang with me? (i know they aren’t totally done, but sometimes it’s so bittersweet watching them grow up, especially if you don’t have another one who is younger. the days can be oh so long, but the years oh so short).

Two “when did you” questions — I have 5.5 year old twins (they turn 6 in August).

– When did you trust your kid could actually do a decent job of brushing their own teeth?

– I know the real answer here is based on weight/height, but when did you move your kid to a high backed booster? My twins are tiny (35 and 37 pounds), and do not meet the requirements to graduate out of their harness seats — but it feels so odd that they will likely still be 5 point harnesses as they are going into first grade. Just curious if other kids were still in harnesses at this age/grade. A lot of kids are starting to carpool to stuff, and the harnesses are SUCH a PITA for this.

Any words of encouragement for the parenting doldrums? I’m a soon-to-be laid-off fed worker, and I’ve been spending tons of time managing a medical situation for my 4-year old that requires therapy three times a week. Also, he’s a regular a 4-year old that whines and has small tantrums and wakes up from nightmares, and I also have a 2-year old who is “spirited”. I’m getting worn down by the monotony of caregiving for small children, and I feel like I have little else to keep me motivated. Normally I’d think of fun gardening projects, but it’s unusually cold (40s) where I live right now. I try to incorporate spontaneous fun and joy every day, but I’m worn out and maybe a bit resentful that I have to work to find joy.

I’m trying to dissect what I’m observing with my 7 year old/first grade girl. I’ve been in a spot of being around her and her friends at year end parties and the like recently. This is all probably totally age appropriate and I’m not interested in helicoptering through social interactions but if there are some scripts or general themes to benignly reinforce at home, maybe that’s worthwhile? Here’s my best attempt to explain what I’ve observed:

Basically, she has a group of friends and consistently she reports that one of them, on a rotating basis, in this group is a “bully.” Not targeting her directly, but apparently just being kind of mean for whatever reason to the rest of the group. I know that word carries a lot of weight these days and, best I can tell/observe, someone is just momentarily sassy or something fairly inconsequential, at least to the logical adult mind. The group of friends seems to rally together to “spy” on the targeted kid at recess, at birthday parties, and generally “others” this kid. Then some time passes and all is well… until someone else is designated the bully and spied on, othered, etc. I saw this play out over three different events in the last 5 days – a field trip I chaperoned last week, an adult/kid party at a kid’s house Saturday night and a bday party yesterday. I caught the kids scheming at the bday party about how they were going to “keep doing what we’re doing here”, which was “spying”, at school today.

We talk about being nice, kind, inclusive, following the golden rule, etc in our house a ton. I told my daughter last night, after the bday party energy petered out, that I picked up on what was happening and she got defensive. I talked about how kids/everyone make mistakes and while she’s valid in feeling like this “bully” hurt her/the group in some way (the kid is actually a good friend – hard to believe she’s suddenly a vindictive bully), she has to think about how spying or leaving someone out makes them feel. We talked about just ignoring the person or even telling the person how they made her feel with whatever the action was (I’m still not entirely clear). Then today before I left for work I told her that I trusted her to make the right decision and that I know she’s a good friend.

… that was the best I could come up with on the fly. Thoughts? Is this just total par for the course stuff? I was annoyed because my daughter at the bday party named the kid as a “bully” directly in front of her mom – not to the mom, but the mom was standing right there. She’s super chill and was like “kids, amiright?” which is generally my take, but I also don’t love my kid is running around calling people bullies and participating in othering when they’re just going through what I think is just normal kid stuff.

I’m probably overthinking this. But I was an othered kid with a daughter who seems to be incredibly well liked and influential in her little social circle, so I’m maybe over sensitive to making sure she stays on the social straight and narrow.

I’d like to host a few small casual get togethers over the summer with the families of my 6 year olds friends. I know that this isn’t actually hard and it will likely go fine but we aren’t a hosting family (never have been even pre kids) but I think it would be good for 6 year old and us. I tend to get very stuck in my head and the sensible advice I give others has a hard time getting through.

I was thinking Thursday or Friday evenings over the summer with 1 or 2 families (so up to about 6 adults and 6 kids-ages 3-10). We have a back patio and small yard and a big playroom inside. Indoor space for grownups is fine but not great because we have a giant sectional which doesn’t lend it self to conversation so well if people are sitting but that seems like a minor problem.

For food we can obviously do pizza, or I think we could grill burgers and hot dogs and corn. Is there anything else easy to do on the grill (like novice level easy or on par with burgers/hot dogs). And I can make a big salad and have fruit and popsicles for the kids. Do I need anything more than that? And what do people drink these days ( we rarely drink and mostly drink water / seltzer water)? I do like Sangria when its warm so I could learn how to do that I think. Would a pitcher of Sangria be ok or is that not a thing people drink anymore?