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Anonymous says
I have a super proud mom moment to share! My 10 year old has always played softball but on teams with really strong players. She’s always been in right field and at the end of the batting order (where young teams stick the worst batters).
This season, two things happened: 1) she decided she wanted to practice and get better and 2) she was put on a team where she was one of the best players. The team had two pitchers but one broke her wrist so they asked all the kids on the team with more than one season under their belt to “try out” for pitching aka just see if you can do it even remotely well because they are desperate.
My kid came home and told me “mom, we are all bad. But I think I’m the least bad of the bad so they are probably going to make me pitch. I need to get better.” And she bugged me every day for two weeks to go outside and throw with her, drive her to the field so she could practice on the dirt, etc.
She pitched last night and struck out her first batter! Then pitched the max allowed two innings and just as good as the team’s other pitcher. Her team lost like 2-8 but only one of those runs was while she pitched and you’d think they won a championship with how pleased she was after the game.
This is all rec sports and she’d much prefer to stick to her normal position, but it was such an awesome thing to see her go from last season of “heck no will I ever pitch, I’m fine in the outfield” to being a really strong 3rd base player and saying “well I don’t want to pitch but I’ll figure it out if it’s what the team needs.”
The opposing team was coached by someone who has coached my kid in the past and it was fun to see how surprised she was when my kid stepped up to pitch and had consistently solid plays at 3rd.
Anon says
This story made me smile:) I’m vicariously proud of your kid for working hard and doing great!!
Anon says
me too. what an awesome story about her willingness to practice and to be a true team player
Cb says
That is fantastic! What an amazing kid you are raising!
Anon says
Great job to her! This reminds me of when I played softball in high school and the main pitcher was going out with an injury. It looked like the coach was going to tap me, a relatively inexperienced player, to pitch for a game, and my very competitive best friend went home and spent the entire weekend practicing pitching so she would be chosen. she got a lot better, but never as good as the original pitcher. Luckily I had no actual interest in pitching or even in softball and this did not harm our friendship, but it did make me laugh.
Anon says
I am the mom of a Baseball Player (all he does is baseball, all day long), so I really appreciate her pitching debut, and this is so dang cool. Pitching is super intense, and requires a lot of grit from a kid. I love it for the life lessons it teaches my kid (who is a decent pitcher, but who has had to WORK at it over the years — lotta tough innings on the mound that have built a tremendous amount of character). Also, holding the other team to only 1 run is FABULOUS for her first time up there. WTG on a really cool self-directed kid!! From my experience, those are the kids who will play long term and enjoy the game, and actually get good because they’ve learned how to improve — not the super good right away kids who have never had to work for it, or the kids who don’t really want to play but whose parents have drug them to 1,000 private lessons over the years.
Anonymous says
She went into it with the goal of not hitting anyone while pitching. Not only did she not hit anyone, the other team’s pitcher hit *her* with a pitch! The other team’s pitcher is a buddy of hers who is a much better player. She said she’s never been happier to get hit ;).
Anon says
Dang that’s just freaking awesome. And my kid has hit many a kid (and been hit by many a kid). I’ve seen a lot of kids who bail because they don’t want the pressure. So proud of your kid! Also, I don’t consider myself a nervous sports parent, but consciously or not, I do find myself pacing a bit more than usual when he’s on the mound :)
anon says
That’s awesome! Way to go, kiddo.
avocado says
This is awesome!
Anon says
My sensitive kindergartener has a good friend (lets call him A) from school who he often plays with on the playground for hours after school. They get along great, never have disagreements and say they love each other. A has another good school friend (B) who has started hanging out on the playground after school too. My kid likes B, but B doesn’t seem to care much for my kid and absolutely loves A. B wants to play exclusively with A and they’ve started telling my kid they don’t want to play with him. He’s devastated. I’m looking for suggestions for what I should say in the moment (yesterday, he was crying that they wouldn’t let him play with them. I consoled him, but didn’t insert myself into the situation. there weren’t any other friends at the playground, so we ended up going home). Also, A still loves my kiddo when B isn’t around, so I’m planning to still encourage that friendship, but curious if anyone has a different perspective (and, yes, I know I can’t control who he’s friends with). They’re all in the same class. Should I ask the teacher what the dynamic is in school? Thanks!
NYCer says
I would just try to create opportunities for your son to play with A without B around, which unfortunately sounds like it might not be at the playground after school. Can you occasionally invite A over to your house for a play date after school rather than go to the playground? Or plan to meet A at the playground on a weekend?
Anon says
Ugh I’m sorry. I went through the same thing in kindergarten, although gender was a factor (A was a boy and let other boys persuade him that he shouldn’t play with girls, although he still liked playing with me when other boys aren’t around for a while). I agree with finding times to see A alone, but I would also encourage other friendships and actively set up play dates with other kids because ultimately A is going to drift away if he only likes your kid when they’re alone.
Anon says
I was kid A in this scenario, and I would suggest the individual playdates. I would also have welcomed adult intervention when the meanness got out of hand. I knew what one friend said to the other was bad behavior, but I didn’t have the skills to set boundaries when we had been told to “all play together.”
Fallen says
I have had this often come up with my daughter throughout the years (three people friendships are tough) and the one thing that has worked well for her is to find other friends, so she is Ok when A wants to hang with B. And individual play dates.
OP says
Thank you all for your advice!
Anon says
Apologies if this is TMI, but I had what I assume was a chemical pregnancy 2 weeks ago (got a positive test one day, started bleeding the next). Now, exactly two weeks later, I’m getting what I assume to be a second period – It’s heavier than spotting, but kind of like a light period. Should I be concerned? It doesn’t feel ER worthy, but I’m usually very regular so this is throwing me off.
Anon says
Call your doctor.
Anonymous says
Are you still testing positive?
Anon says
+1. Did you continue to test positive after the first round of bleeding? Are you testing positive now? I’d call my doc and at least chat with the nurse about this.
Anon says
Agree with calling your doctor, but curious if you kept testing after you started bleeding two weeks ago? Some women have bleeding resembling a period very early in pregnancy that isn’t actually a miscarriage. It’s possible that’s what happened and this is the actual miscarriage. Either way, I’m sorry for your loss. Or, possibly your hormones are still regulating and this is a different type of hormonal bleed. I think I’d probably take another pregnancy test *just in case* you are still pregnant, or your HCG hasn’t yet gone back to zero (even the cheapies are super sensitive…I still got a positive with HCG less than 10 with my early miscarriage.)
Anon says
When I had a chemical pregnancy, my OB still wanted me to come into the office for a lab test to confirm HCG levels were low. So even barring the new bleeding, it’s worth calling into the triage nurse line of your OB and checking out what they’d recommend happening next.
Anon OP says
Thanks, all. Just took a test and it’s positive, which is super strange because I took a test when I started bleeding two weeks ago which was negative. Ugh – something weird is happening. Unfortunately I’m in Canada and my PCP is useless for fertility matters so I guess I will pay for the private OBGYN consult. Calling the nurse line now.
Anon says
Wow! If you were DTD within the last two weeks you could be pregnant again. Definitely see if you can get some bloodwork, asap and then again 48 hours later, to get a sense of what’s going on
Anonymous says
Even in Canada surely a primary care doctor can order a beta HCG test? This isn’t like a fertility doctor issue, sounds like you might just be pregnant. Bleeding in early pregnancy isn’t uncommon
Anon OP says
I might give it a try – last time I miscarried I was referred to the (public) hospital for HCG testing and an ultrasound. Maybe they can refer me directly again. My PCP then tried to refer me to a public OBGYN, but the wait list was insanely long, so I went private for fertility testing, but it’s super expensive and my insurance coverage is minimal. I’ll call the clinic and see what they can do.
Anonymous says
My 6.5 year old still sucks his thumb. Parenting fail on our part. I think we just always figured that he would outgrow it or it would be easier to convince him to stop but instead it seems to only be getting worse. What’s more is he doesn’t suck his thumb in school – I asked his teacher and she had no idea – but he’s now started chewing on his sleeve or neckline and sometimes just stretches it out. Google turns up all sorts of ADHD and autism issues for that habit, as well as an iron deficiency, but I think this is just all connected to him wanting to suck his thumb and whatever oral fixation that’s a part of. Anyway – what do we do?!? It’s gotten so out of hand that he either promises to stop and doesn’t or he starts getting really upset if we just continue to stay on top of it and that usually just turns into him crying “I can’t!” & becoming super upset, which makes us feel terrible. The pediatrician said to redirect and that works sometimes but not reliably. I’m not even that concerned if he did this just for bed but it seems to be overtaking every part of the day now!
Anonymous says
Are you redirecting to something? Sounds like he’d benefit from some sort of fidget device to carry around.
anon says
Get him a sensory pencil topper! He can safely chew on them. We got them for ADHD DS, and he rarely used them, but it is a clever way to give the kids a better outlet then chewing on their shirt or just saying “stop.”
Boston Legal Eagle says
Save up some money for braces. Sorry, no great advice as my kids both still suck their thumbs at 5.5 and 8. The younger one is easier to gently persuade and actively tries to stop but we’ve sort of given up trying to make this a constant battle with the older kid. He’s strong willed, sensitive and may have some anxiety. I know it’s all related and the more we push, the more he’ll resist. He never does it at school or in front of his friends. More of a comfort at home thing. At some point, he’ll have braces and hopefully it will correct any issues. FWIW we have a super chill dentist who doesn’t make a big deal of it.
Anon says
+ 1, My daughter is younger and also sucks her thumb. My husband is a dentist and kind of shrugged and was like “meh, she’ll have braces”. He doesn’t seem that concerned about it so I’m gently trying to limit the damage but not making it a massive deal.
Anon says
Yup. This kid will need orthodontia.
My ADHD brother sucked his thumb, chewed his shirt, and held his shirt tag until first grade. So not super abnormal, but he did require lots of orthodontia.
Anon says
+1 my 3.5 year old is a finger sucker, and has been since he was ~6 months old. He does it more than we’d like, but I feel like…he’ll either grow out of it and/or will need braces. We tell him “don’t eat hand, eat ___!”, and he (usually) complies, but then he goes right back to it. My friends with older kids have confirmed this has been the reality with their finger/thumb sucking kids. I’ll also see what the dentist says this summer.
I also had some extra orthodontic work done in my teens (in addition to braces), so…
Anon says
+1 my 6 year old sucks her fingers at night and occasionally when awake but alone. She’s a strong-willed kid and we’ve chosen not to fight this battle, since it’s not a social issue, and we have other battles to fight.
We also have a super chill dentist whose attitude is “she’s going to need braces, but it’s ok.” I love him. Fwiw her teeth were noticeably changed by the finger sucking by about age 3, so I’m not convinced we could have avoided braces unless we broke the habit super early. And everyone in both sides of our families needed braces (and husband and I both had nighttime headgear!) so expensive orthodontics seems inevitable.
Anon says
He sounds like he’s stressed out, either over the pressure to stop thumb sucking or over something else (general end of year stuff, etc). FWIW I sucked my thumb until I was 9, and I turned out fine, so I’d remove a little of your own stress/projections from the issue. I’d also ignore Google; my oldest chewed on a lot of things for a long time and I’m assuming he inherited my “oral fixation” traits, but that also stopped around age 7 or so. You could try getting him chew necklaces in the meantime.
In short, I’d back off for a month or two and then reevaluate.
Boston Legal Eagle says
I didn’t suck my thumb as a kid (that I recall) but I had major teeth issues that required a lot of orthodontia (one tooth was coming in sideways, had baby teeth pulled, etc). I always figured braces were in my kids’ futures!
govtattymom says
My daughter’s dentist had a powerpoint presentation about the options to get her to stop sucking her thumb. One of the options was this glove-type thing with a lock. My daughter was pretty disturbed by that lol. At that appointment she promised she would stop by Christmas (this was mid-December). She kept her word without complaining etc. Good luck and don’t be afraid to point out the not so appealing alternatives!
Anonymous says
Try to remain calm and positive about it. It’s a habit that needs to change and he needs support to change. The habit is meeting a self-soothing need so you need to work with him on ways to meet that need in more acceptable ways. Can he chew gum if it’s a specifically oral need?
Start by limiting it to bedtime and give him alternatives to use during the day. Buy a variety pack of fidgets and have him try out different things to see what works. Avoiding any shaming or telling him he’s too old etc. He knows. Focus on that it can cause teeth damage over time so he doesn’t need to panic but you do need to work with him on alternatives.
Lil says
Mine didn’t suck his thumb but liked to chew on sippy cup straws. He used a chewlery necklace at home for about 6 months in pk4 and then it resolved itself. you can buy them inexpensively on Amazon so it may be worth a try. they are very durable!
Anon says
Can you get him one of those oral fixation necklaces as something to chew on? And maybe use a reward as motivation? I sucked my thumb as a child growing up and didn’t stop (even sucked that bitter tasting deterrent off) until I was ~12/13, and getting braces. At that point I just went cold turkey on my own – that was one of the conditions my parents set to allow me to get braces – and it was surprisingly easy to do. Maybe because I was older, maybe because the braces changed how my mouth felt. But I was very stubborn about it, and punishments had very little effect. It was so habitual and also very much self-soothing for when things upset me, so ironically trying to get me to stop was when I did it the most.
Anonymous says
Can you work on that “parenting fail on our part” thing you’re telling yourself? This doesn’t sound like a fail at all, just like the normal kind of thing that happens, and you figure it out as you go along. How are you supposed to know the most effective way to parent this particular kid, at this age, about this habit, when you’ve never been here before? You can’t. So you just muddle through.
Anonymous says
Bitter nail polish and something appropriate for him to chew on during school.
Anonymous says
Try a chewing necklace. My son was not a thumb sucker but liked to chew on his shirt and ruined many a shirt that way. The chewing necklace sort of helped. He did outgrow this eventually!
Anon says
Try to be compassionate but firm. Remember that certain phases of parenting may feel impossible and full of uncertainty (for me, sleep training and potty training brought a lot of anxiety when they didn’t click right away), but you and your child will get through it! I’m sure there are some short books on this issue on Amazon you could page through. Sometimes it just helps to have a lot of strategies up your sleeve so you feel prepared, like you have options.
Anonymous says
I sucked my thumb at home and at bedtime until I was 12, especially if I was stressed. it wasn’t a parenting fail. I grew out of it because I wanted to go to sleepovers. it is a way to self-soothe. I did get braces.
Anonymous says
Keep in mind that this may not be a purposeful behavior and he may not even be aware that he is doing it. As a kid I would always try to fall asleep with my hand under my pillow to keep myself from sucking my thumb. After I fell asleep my thumb would inevitably end up in my mouth. My mother would come in and pull it out and I’d unconsciously put it right back in. It took a painful cut on my thumb to break the habit. I truly wanted to quit but there was no amount of willpower that would have helped.
Anonymous says
I just went to normalize this a little for you. My 7 year old chews his shirt occasionally and one of my three year olds sucks his fingers constantly. It’s a self soothing technique. I got both of them a chew necklace: neither has really taken to it yet. I want to echo others that you should try not to beat yourself up about this. I’m more interested in addressing the underlying anxieties to the extent that I can. I also sucked my thumb until I was seven. One day I just decided to stop. No amount of begging from my mom, nail polish deterrent, or my cousins making fun of me could get me to quit. I also didn’t need braces, miraculously. You’re not a bad mom.
Anon says
I have a kid with OCD (not saying this is a sign of OCD, but I’ve had a ton of experience redirecting kids away from unwanted, stuck behaviors). I recommend looking up some of the advice on what to do with a kid who is in a compulsive behavior loop, and see if any of the advice resonates. For us, the unwanted behavior is precipitated by an unwanted thought that they can’t get rid of, so we’ve done a lot of work on what to do with the unwanted thought. For your child, this might be the fear that they won’t get to suck their thumb anymore, so they double down on thumb sucking. My kid has a visualization technique for what do with a thought you can’t get rid of – maybe this would work when your child starts to fixate on not being able to suck their thumb?
I can tell you with certainty that telling them not to do the behavior very rarely gets them to actually stop doing the behavior!
Anonymous says
With habits like thumb sucking, sometimes the reason it’s so hard to break the habit is that the kid is NOT thinking about what they are doing.
Anonymous says
Help me think of ideas for where to have our son’s 5th birthday party. We’ve never had a classmates party before — we previously just did family and a few friends. We’ve attended a few classmate parties recently at play gyms, art studios, and one at a public park. I’d love to go the park route but the birthday will be in July and it will probably be super hot. Our kid loves movement and playgrounds, so maybe an indoor gym is the way to go. Any suggestions? Thanks!
Boston Legal Eagle says
Indoor playspaces like MyGym and Jam Time have been very popular for the pre-K birthdays around here. Also Launch – trampoline park so YMMV, but it’s been fine and I have no issue with it. We had a recent party at a glow in the dark painting place that had dancing after, which was unique and super fun!
TheElms says
Just round out a year of 5th birthdays here and we’ve been to a small water park, a public park with a splash pad (this would work for your park option), a slightly out of the way park with an excellent playground, a trampoline place, an art/craft place that does an organized activity for the kids, a farm with a petting zoo, a cookie decorating activity, a pj & movie night, and a couple parties at home that did things like have superheros come visit and do activities and one that had a waterslide in the back yard (could work if you have a big enough yard and house).
Anon says
Have you checked out local nature centers might have options? We have a couple nature preserves near us with birthday party packages. It includes access to an air conditioned party room and includes a park naturalist that’ll do an activity or demonstration.
Anon says
We did this for my son’s 5th birthday. They went on a super short nature hike, and the ranger turned over rocks. You’d have thought he showed the kids an abyss of candy. Then they came back and showed the kids some of the animals that they were rehabilitating (I recall it was turtles, snakes, and maybe a bird of prey?). The snakes, in particular, were a huge hit. This was a tiny little state park near our house, with a pretty tiny visitor center, and we had no idea they had rehabilitated animals until this party. It was my favorite kid party that we hosted. I’m usually anti-goody bag, unless it’s consumable, but I actually had fun getting little note pads and pencils that looked like sticks. Kids also got badges from the center. Very cool.
Mary Moo Cow says
It might be hot, or it might rain, but I think a park party is still an option. I have two kids with summer birthdays in the South and both have had birthday parties were at parks with playgrounds and shelters. Parents mostly hung out in the shade of the shelter; we also did them early Saturday morning before it got too hot (9 am, I think).Twice we’ve rented a water bounce house and set up in the shade of our backyard. I had tents and fans for parents. We’ve also been to summer birthday parties at a splashpad playground and inclusive playground/park. Other parties were at the trampoline park, the inflatable place (several of those), the local nature center (indoor/outdoor). The local children’s museum, science museum, or botanical gardens might be an option for you. If Kiddo likes to bake or cook, a kids kitchen? (We have Young Chef Academy here and a 6th year old birthday party was making pizza and cupcakes.) Some restaurants, like California Pizza Kitchen, used to host parties in my area. A local soccer outfit (Soccer Shots or the like? We have two that do excellent parties.) A gym for a gymnastics or ninja-warrior style party; a martial arts center. There’s always Chuck E. Cheese (my least favorite party as a parent, but perennially popular with the 3-6 crowd.)
NYCer says
We also just have been through a round of 5th birthday parties… Here is where we have attended parties: three at homes with games and dancing, home with a magician, three at gymnastics places, ceramics painting place, mad scientist show at a community room in apartment building, trampoline place, outdoor playground, outdoor playground with carousel, and the zoo.
Have you asked your son what he wants? My daughter had strong preferences about where she wanted her party (which I realize you cannot always accommodate, but we were able to).
Anon says
Local recenter for gymnastics or the pool.
Anon says
we had a park party for my twins’ 5th birthday and there was a monsoon, though we still had the party. i can’t handle the stress of an outdoor party again for quite some time.
Mary Moo Cow says
That was my kid’s 4th birthday party! LOL. The kids had a blast; most wore rain boots and jackets and loved stomping around in the mud. I was so grateful to the parents who called and said “we’re game if you are!” Most kids attended and we parents huddled in the shelter. I was scared but apparently not so badly that I haven’t had 3 outdoor parties since.
Anon says
We just had my kid’s 6th at MyGym and the kids loved it. The staff did a lot and really managed the activities, cake cutting and singing so it was by far the easiest party I’ve had as a parent.
Please don’t do anything involving the pool or waterpark. Many 5 year olds are not strong swimmers and as a parent it’s stressful to have to watch your kid like a hawk or get in the water with them.
I also agree with asking your kid – mine had strong opinions about where the party should be held by age 5.
TelcoLadyJD says
Parents of late walking toddlers…can you help me talk my husband down? Our son is 16.5 months and can TECHNICALLY walk (we and his teachers at school have seen him do it), but it is definitely not his favorite or most efficient mode of transport.
Our pediatrician was not concerned at his 15-month appointment when she saw how well he pulled himself up and cruised. But I think she (and we) thought that more consistent walking would happen more quickly than it has. He is highly social, SUPER mobile, and generally happy when he crawls and cruises…and can climb lots of inappropriate/dangerous things (like his sister’s learning tower) so this seems to me to just be a preference and not something to be super concerned about. But my husband is spiraling. FWIW, my son has been a “just in time-er” on the rest of his milestones. (My daughter was an average milestone hitter – almost to the day, so this has been a change on our end.)
Anon says
I had average walkers (all within days of turning 1) but even still, they preferred crawling for a while after. They were used to it and it was quicker than taking toddling steps. From what you describe it does sound like a preference thing. I wonder if getting outside more, on varied surfaces, could help? He may choose to walk when he’s in mulch, gravel, pavement, etc. Or give him carts and walker wagons to push in the driveway as he gains confidence
anon says
my middle daughter had this preference – COULD walk but was much faster crawling/climbing so never WANTED to walk. We did a few sessions with a physical therapist who verified that there was no real developmental problem, did some exercises and stretches with her, and after the second or third visit she started walking way more. I think that she would have started walking more anyway if we had just waited the 2-3 weeks and done nothing, but my husband felt more confident that we had done the responsible thing in getting therapy for her even if she didn’t really need it.
TelcoLadyJD says
Thank you! I’ve suggested to him that we could get an evaluation done, but I think (despite his anxiety) that he thinks that this is what will happen. We know he can walk, we’re just waiting for him to decide to do it. But if an evaluation would make him less anxious…I’m all about it. (Obviously, if the situation isn’t improved by 18 months, we will.)
Anonymous says
Is he by any chance a perfectionist or just cautious? My daughter was not a late walker but refused to walk without holding someone’s hand for an awfully long time after she could technically do it because she apparently did not like all the falling down and getting up that is typical for new walkers. One day she just decided she was ready to walk and after that she walked everywhere.
TelcoLadyJD says
He doesn’t strike me as a perfectionist or cautious….his complete willingness to scale his sister’s learning tower/get on the couch/climb out of his playpen indicates a willingness to daredevil. LOL. I really can imagine him thinking “I know you want me to walk, but have you seen me crawl? I’m SO good at it.”
Anon says
I’ve posted before – maybe “dozens” of times as someone pointed out yesterday – my now 3.5 year old didn’t walk until 19 months! He was pulling himself up to stand and cruising great, crawling, etc. 16.5 months – you’re still far away from it being late, especially since he’s done it before!
Our ped at the time leaned more assertive (nothing wrong with that, but not my preference), so at 15 months she put in referrals to a ped neuro (re development), PT, and early intervention. Neuro saw no issues when she saw kid pull-up/cruise, and “walk” with DH. PT also saw no underlying issues for the minor delay, but we kept PT around for a few months to make sure. Stressful, but all in all, worked out fine.
He’s very much a on-his-own-timeline kid vs. my oldest who has always been on the earlier side to (most, not all) milestones.
Anon says
I should be clear, ped put referrals in at 15 months vs. waiting until 18 months because these things just take time.
TelcoLadyJD says
Thank you for this! We had the same first-kid/second-kid dynamic…which is what I think is causing some of this anxiety. My daughter just…did the thing….on time or early with almost no involvement on our part. My son needs encouragement in the form of individualized, focused attention………and is aaaaaaaaaaaalllllmost late. But he’s happy, healthy, and seems completely fine. I assume he’ll get to walking in his usual fashion. :-)
TheElms says
Do you see your ped at 18 months? Can you tell your husband you’ll revaluate then and agree that you’ll follow the ped’s recommendation (assuming you generally feel like their approach/recommendations work for your child). I think 18 months is also the official milestone for walking / point at which its appropriate to do an evaluation if you child isn’t walking more consistently at that point. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/move12yr.html
TelcoLadyJD says
He’s 16.5 months yet, so we’re just looking down the road. But we’ll definitely refer him if we don’t see pretty major improvement in the next six weeks.
Anon says
Yeah walking is a technically 18 month milestone although the vast majority of children (I think 97%) walk by 16 months. My daughter walked days before her 18 month birthday. Our ped was going to refer to intervention at the 18 month appointment. In hindsight I think the issue was mainly laziness/attitude, but she also had a weak core that she later did some OT for, and that probably made her slower to walk. She was also very (adorably) chunky as a baby which I thought was a factor too (she had twice as much weight to haul around as some kids) but our ped said body shape is irrelevant.
TelcoLadyJD says
This is interesting. Our son is huge – 99th percentile across the board, and always has been. We’d always assumed that his was a part of his reluctance (particularly his big noggin, LOL)….but maybe not!
Anon says
I still kind of think it was a factor despite what the ped said. All the late walkers I know were big.
another anecdotal data point says
My big kids were late walkers! And the smaller ones were right at 1. I wouldn’t worry OP.
Anon says
Some of this may be chicken and egg too. My kids slimmed down and lost some baby pudge once they started walking, quickly transforming to more of a toddler shape.
Anon says
It’s definitely a thing that babies slim down once they start walking, but in my experience a lot of tall kids walk later. It makes sense physically; their center of gravity is higher and they have more mass to carry than an average height kid with a similar weight-to-height ratio.
TelcoLadyJD says
Thanks, all! It will be super interesting to see how walking around more changes my kid. He’s not overly chubby – which was weird for us because his (smaller) sister had cheeks like Winston Churchill. LOL. He’s just….tall and built like a brick wall. We joke that he never really looked like a baby or a toddler….he’s looked like a middle aged man basically since birth. (A very cute, curly headed middle aged man.)
Anon says
my bff is a pediatrician. her son walked at 18 months and 1 week. he can now run/walk totally fine. she said in the moment it was hard to remind herself that there is a wide range of normal, even though that is what she does every single day as a physician
New Here says
My now 4 year old took her first steps a couple of weeks past 18 months! When we had her 18 month check-up (in June), doc said “If she isn’t walking by September, we’ll talk about OT.” Couple of weeks later, she was walking around like a baby giraffe, ha.
Vicky Austin says
I think the WHO or the AAP recently expanded the normal window for walking, actually, in case that reassures you or your husband.
Anon says
I think they recently relabeled it an 18 month milestone instead of a 12 month one to reflect the normal range rather than what the average kid does, but that’s more of a semantics thing. 18 months has been considered the end of the normal range for walking for at least 40 years. I walked super late, and my parents were told not to worry before 18 months. Then I was told the same thing about my late-walking kid who’s now in elementary school.
I have this shirt says
I have this top and really like it. I also have the matching pants which makes for a fun jumpsuit alternative for more creative environments.
just make sure you do not put it in the dryer as the fabric will shrink.
Travel bug says
At what age did you first attempt a long-haul flight (8+ hours) with your kid?
Husband and I would love to travel to Japan/Korea, but will a 12+ hour flight from the east coast with a 2-year-old be anything but hellacious and stressful for us and miserable for the kid? Do we need to wait until our kid is at least 4?
GCA says
Is your kid just-2, or closer to 3?
We travel from the US to Asia to see family roughly every other year, so I have done this when the kids were various ages: 9mo (complete hell); 1.5y (definitely do not recommend); 2.5y (this was surprisingly much better than 9mo or 1.5); 4y and up (not blissful by any means but significantly easier). The year that kid 1 was 2.5, he watched Finding Nemo 3x on repeat without sound, picked at his adorable kid’s bento meal, played with his magnatiles, and fell asleep on our laps. Then we did it all over again on the second long-haul leg of the journey. You can almost sort of reason with a 2.5yo and convince them there is a real reason they do need to stay in their seat even if they are wide awake and raring to go…
If you decide to do this, pack all the snacks and try to eat/ sleep on your destination schedule; it helps your circadian rhythm to adjust. If you have a layover, consider bringing a stroller like the Babyzen Yoyo that folds to fit in overhead bins so you can cart a groggy toddler through the airport and make your connecting flight.
Anon says
+1 – Have also done Asian country (my parents’ country of origin) to see family. This was in late 2022, when kids were newly 5 and almost 2. The airline required kids under 2 that had their own seats be in a carseat, which actually helped with sleep and staying put (and my kids are not reliable car nappers).
GCA’s advice is spot-on. I also think our trip was great in large part because there were a lot of hands/family support – from the flights to actually being in the country and the intra-country travel.
Hot take: DH and I are big travelers/experience people. We both think the the value of long-haul/adventure trips (e.g. trips that aren’t focused to see/spend time with family/friends) really isn’t great until the kids are 4-5 – not saying don’t go – just know that when you get there, the trip will likely be a bit different/harder with a 2-year-old in tow. Again, you know your kid and your situation, so YMMV.
Anon says
We took our daughter to Paris from Chicago when she was 14 months old, but that flight was 8 hours, not 12+ and the jet lag is nowhere near as bad as Japan. The travel itself was pretty manageable, although Paris isn’t the best destination for kids that age.
If your kid was a baby, I’d say go for it, but 2 is pretty much the hardest age for travel and at this point I think you’re better off waiting until age 4. Unless you’re planning more kids in the next couple of years, in which case you may want to go soon. I only have the one kid, so I don’t have personal experience but I would imagine that traveling with a 4 year old and a baby is harder than traveling with one 2 year old.
Anon says
Across our two boys, we‘ve done this at 6 months, 13 months, 18 months, and almost 2.5 years. 6 and 13 months were horrible, 18 was a big improvement, and 2.5 wasn’t a huge deal. I will caution that unlike for adult travel, 6h vs 8h vs 10h vs 12h is an enormous difference. Ours are 1 and 3 now, and we won’t do longer than Europe to the East Coast until our youngest is a better traveler.
Anonymous says
Kind of hate to say it but it all depends on your child’s capacity for videos, haha. We’ve done trans-Atlantic flights with a 2yo and an infant, and it was not so bad because the 2yo watched a tablet for eight hours straight. (At the time he was watching videos maybe once or twice a week at home, so there was also a novelty factor.)
The worst age for long flights is 12-24 months, when they’re highly mobile but not able to engage with videos for longer periods of time.
TheElms says
We did transatlantic with a 7 month (so more like 6 hours there and 8 hours back) old and it was fine. She slept a couple of 2 hour stretches so we each got at least 2 hours of sleep. Going this summer with a 2 year old and 5 year old and definitely dreading it more. I’m very concerned neither will sleep and I will be on my own and get no sleep. Also no idea how to do plane bathroom visits if one is sleeping since the 5 year old will not go on her own and I don’t think I can leave the 2 year old unless I bring the car seat on board and I’m not sure the 2 year old will sleep in her car seat. She never has in the car or in other plane rides.
Anon says
I’ve left a toddler alone in an airplane seat for a couple minutes to pee. If you’re really worried you can ask a flight attendant to keep an eye on the child, and they’re normally happy to do that (assuming it’s not in the middle of meal service or something), but a plane is a controlled environment (a kid can’t be snatched) so to me it’s always been very different than leaving a kid alone in other public settings.
2 is probably a bit young, but in a year or two you’ll be able to sleep even if they don’t sleep. I did a Hawaii redeye with a 3 year old and slept most of the flight (with occasional interruptions) even though she didn’t close her eyes once. Thank you, Water Wows.
Anon says
This is 100% a know your kid situation. This could not happen with my 3.5 year old right now with Water Wows. MAYBE if I had the right curated playlist of shows/videos, MAYBE.
Anon says
It was a huge shock to me, quite honestly. The kid in question was not good at independent play at home and had never entertained herself for more than about five consecutive minutes before that trip. But I was so tired I kept falling asleep, and I think it forced her to figure out how to entertain herself. Being confined in the seat also helps (vs. home where they can run around). I think we used a carseat on that trip, although I could be remembering wrong.
Anon says
Thanks for replying! Travel with kids can be surprising, right? Sometimes in good ways (like this case) and sometimes…not so much :) All part of the adventure…
Emma says
We took my daughter to France (where my family lives) at 6 months and it was pretty easy because she slept the whole time. We went back at 11 months and it was already a bit trickier. Now she’s almost two and I’m dreading it… But it’s 6/7 hours for us so definitely shorter than Japan.
Anon says
we went on a disney trip and my dad joined us for the first half and my inlaws for the second half. i’m making photo books now, should the one for my dad not include any pics of my inlaws and visa versa?
Anonymous says
Yes.
Anon says
Unless they have bad blood that seems unnecessary. Way less work to make one photobook of the whole trip and order copies for both sets of grandparents.
NYCer says
This is where I fall too.
Anon says
It doesn’t have to be more work. Create the master book, save two copies, delete one half of each. It’s not strictly necessary, but it’s a little extra personalization that makes sense to me if you’re up for it, OP.
Boston Legal Eagle says
Yep, this. It’s enough work to make one photobook with all the pics and the captions! Our annual photo books are about us – our nuclear family, and while we give copies to all the grandparents, some years they’re not in them because there weren’t any visits/significant trips.
Anon says
Yes…unless there’s some gorgeous family photo of you that happens to include the other person, or some such situation (eg, your son was really looking forward to X activity, so you include a picture of it even though your dad was no longer there because he heard your son talk about it for five days). Since your dad/in-laws only have memories from the time they were there, it wouldn’t make much sense to include the other portion of the trip
Spirograph says
That sounds like a lot of extra work. I would make an “our Disney vacation” photobook and make sure both sides of the family are roughly equally represented.
I make a photobook every year and give the same one to all the grandparents… I try to make sure that we have pictures showing our time together with each of them, but it never even occurred to me to make different products so they don’t have to look at photos of eachother!
Anonymous says
I barely have the energy to make one photo book, much less three (one with only dad, one with only in-laws, one with all the photos for us). If they are all reasonable adults I don’t see what’s wrong with giving them all the same book.
Anon says
+1 I’m surprised at all the responses saying to make separate books. We make one photobook/year and that’s all I have in me. They’re a LOT of work. My parents are vastly overrepresented because they live near us and we see my in-laws a couple weekends per year. The in-laws still like receiving the book, and seeing the photos of them as well as all the other photos of our kid throughout the year. For a vacation where both sets were present the whole time or split the time equally, I’d endeavor to have close to equal representation in terms of number of photos, but it would honestly never even occur to me to make separate books.
anon says
My parents are ridiculously competitive and would draw conclusions about whether we had more fun with the in laws. It’s miserable, but I would never share photos of our vacation with in laws with them.
Anonymous says
If my parents or in-laws were like this, then that set just wouldn’t get the photo book. I don’t have the time and energy to make multiple books, and I bet that people with this attitude would still find something to complain about anyway.
Golly, I sure do appreciate our low-maintenance parents. Send them holiday cards and thank-you notes and make the kids talk to them every once in a while and they are happy.
Anon says
+1 to Anon at 3:56. My parents have tendencies in this direction. They’re featured more prominently in our photobooks than my in-laws, so this specific thing hasn’t been an issue, but if they complained I’d say “fine, I won’t send you the photobook in the future.” The person who assembles the book is doing a really nice thing for everyone else and, to channel our preschool teachers, “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”
anon says
I have done separate books, and it was a total PITA. Next time, I’d just make a combined book.
anon says
I’d do separate. my inlaws are very insecure.
Anon says
Is your kid a good sleeper? How are they on long car rides? As someone else said, can they watch shows on a tablet for a long time if you let them? We took our 3.5 year old on a 15-hour flight to India this year and he did great. We got the Flyaway Bed and he slept almost the entire time. The Flyaway bed works best in seats that have extra legroom. He had surgery for tubes in his ears shortly before the trip because his ears weren’t draining properly, so he had no ear discomfort during the flight. Make sure you get good headphones and their own tablet. Echo everyone else to pack their favorite snacks. You know your kid best. If you think they are a good traveler, then go ahead and book the trip to Japan, they will love it!