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Updated: Feb 23, 2021 128 Comments · by

Nursing/Postpartum Tuesday: Organic Cotton Magnetic Footie

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A baby lying on a bed

I wish someone had gifted me Magnetic Me baby clothes when I was a new mom. Lining up and snapping all those little buttons around a squirming wee one was an exercise in frustration — more than once, I’d finish snapping the second-to-last button only to realize that I was one button off and would have to start all over again.

Apparently, I am not the only parent wrestling with this issue. Magnetic Me has a range of easy-to-put-on clothes, including this adorable organic cotton footie. (It also comes in super soft modal.) With its magnetic buttons, this is probably the closest you’ll get to your baby dressing himself or herself.

The magnetic footie is $38 and comes in sizes Preemie to 18–24 months. There are a wide range of darling prints, including some on sale for $27.95.

Sales of Note…

(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)

Kid/Family Sales

  • J.Crew – 25-40% off kids’ styles; extra 50% off select sale
  • Lands’ End – Up to 40% off your order
  • Hanna Andersson – 30% off all kids’ & baby clothing; PJs on sale from $25; up to 75% off clearance
  • Carter’s – Rule the School Sale: Up to 50% off; up to 40% off baby essentials
  • Old Navy – 50% off back-to-school styles; 30% off your order, even clearance
  • Target – Backpacks from $7.99; toddler & kids’ uniforms on sale from $5
  • Pottery Barn Baby – Summer sale: up to 50% off
  • Nordstrom – Limited time sales on brands like Maxi-Cosi and Bugaboo.
  • Strolleria – Free infant seat car adapter with any Thule stroller; 30% off all Peg-Perego gear in our exclusive Incanto Collection

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About Ann

Ann is a working mom, a longtime reader of Corporette and CorporetteMoms, and has been writing our morning fashion advice for working moms since November 2020! She has a daughter (born winter 2014) and a son (born fall 2019) and is a public interest lawyer in Washington, D.C.

Comments

  1. Cb says

    Moms groups are the best! I have an informal Whatsapp group with colleagues who had babies within the same year or two. None of us work closely together, we’re in different career stages and departments, but it’s a good resource for navigating ridiculous university policies and general kid stuff. I’ve been annoyed by something at work for months – it was one of those subtle, quite innocuous things, but a visible reminder that I’m on the outside. But I felt like it was too petty to complain about and would make me look bad. A senior colleague noticed it today, posted it to our moms group (which erupted in gratifying annoyance) and then sent an email to the powers that be to get it fixed.

    • Anonymous says

      That’s so nice. I’m the only working mom in my office and it’s very isolating, especially now. I’m in some online moms groups and my two closest college friends and I all had first babies within three months of each other, so it’s not like I don’t have people to talk to about mom stuff. But not having that support at work is hard.

    • Pogo says

      I’m one of a handful in my office, but I chat with some working moms at other sites. It is very isolating, especially being one of the only people at my level with very young children (men and women included).

      • Boston Legal Eagle says

        I’ve found that the higher up you go in Corporate America, the fewer moms and parents who “get it” there are. It’s sort of a chicken and egg situation where I don’t want to give in to the work all the time culture, but those who do are the ones who are at the top. But how to change this unless the rest of us get there?

        I have found a good group of parents at my workplace with older kids (tweens and teens) who are such a good sounding board and source of support.

        • avocado says

          I would love to have peers with older kids and working spouses. Several of my staff have young kids, but the only other senior people in my division with older kids have stay-home spouses. Nearly all of my mom friends with kids the same age are SAHMs.

          • anne-on says

            Same. Every time I meet a senior woman in my org with teens I just want to corner her and ask her allll the questions. It generally seems to boil down to paying for help, paying for more help, having family nearby and/or a SAH spouse.

        • Realist says

          I think about that saying “The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house” all the time. I know it was meant in a different context, but eff the patriarchy. The whole charade is built on the people at the top not “getting it.”

        • Io says

          That’s one reaoson I was so excited by Elizabeth Warren’s run for the presidency. It would have been the first time someone had been a stay-at-home parent (however briefly!) and a working mom would have been at the top.

  2. Tweeter says

    Top things you would add to a baby registry specially designed for when the baby is 9 months plus?

    • Anonymous says

      Allllll the babyproofing gear, especially sliding outlet covers and furniture straps

      • Anon says

        Yes! Measure and figure out your baby gate situation before you have a baby. You don’t need to install them, but I needed 3 different gates (with 3 different installation adapters) for different spots in my house and it was a pain to figure them out.

    • AnonATL says

      My kid is only 7 months, but we just got the Skip Hop reversible foam mat and Evenflo baby play yard and we’ve gotten tons of use already. We can set him in there with some toys and let him play without worrying about him falling over and whacking his head on the hardwoods or the dogs stealing kisses or toys. I’m sure when he’s mobile it will be even better.

    • Cb says

      I feel like I had to go buy toys at that point, so maybe some stacking blocks, some cool soft cars etc.

      • Anon says

        9 months is right when my DD started to play with baby dolls. She’d rock them, feed them and put them to bed. A soft doll would be nice.

        My kids also loved their V-Tech Sit to Stand Learning Walker, despite it being annoying to adults. “Welcome to our learning town, we have lots to show you….”

        • Anonymous says

          +1 I would get the walker too despite the annoying sounds. My kiddo walked very late and while I know it’s at least partly genetic (I walked late too) I think the fact that we didn’t have any toy that motivated her to stand was a factor.

          • Anonymous says

            I actually think the walker toys are counterproductive. My daughter was early to crawl, sit up, pull up, and cruise. She had a walker toy that she pushed around for months, and in hindsight I wish we never had it. She refused to walk unassisted until she was certain she could do it perfectly without falling, which was about three months after she really could have been doing the normal baby thing of walking a few steps, falling down, and getting back up. I blame the walker, but perhaps it was her innate perfectionism.

          • Anonymous says

            Maybe it depends on the kid. I don’t think my kid was a perfectionist, I just think she had zero motivation to stand or cruise because she was a speed crawler and everything she wanted was at her level. She started cruising within days of playing with that walker at a friend’s house and took her first steps unassisted about a month later. But this was very late (cruising at 16 months, walking at 17 months).

          • Anon says

            Both my kids were walking a couple of weeks before 9 months. Both loved pushing a walker, but I don’t think the walker really made a difference to their learning. They wanted desperately to walk, so they did. They really learned by cruising the sofa and coffee table. The walker was just an entertaining toy.

        • Boston Legal Eagle says

          I was also going to recommend the V-Tech walker. I know, the sounds can be annoying, but my kids loved (and still love!) that thing.

        • Anon says

          I would consider the radio flyer push wagon instead of vtech. Babies can put things into it, which is a favorite activity. (Baby #3 here and I am going very low-tech and minimal this time)

          • AwayEmily says

            I love/hate this thing. On the one hand: cute! fun! useful! On the other hand: my (older) kids are constantly injuring themselves on it by balancing on one foot and then flying off of it. And when I try to hide it they are like “WHERE IS OUR WAGON??”

          • avocado says

            We had the Radio Flyer walker wagon. It was impossible for kiddo to steer, so she’d bash it into a wall or the furniture and then a parent would have to pick it up and turn it around. It was great for terrorizing pets. It was adorable, though.

          • Anonymous says

            A toy stroller isn’t sturdy enough to really be used as a walker, but it was a favorite toy for ages 1-5 and no one will launch off of it!

    • Anon says

      convertible car seat, if you don’t already have – utensils/plates/straw cups/water bottles/more bibs (basically all the eating things), larger sleep sack, little tikes slide, B Toys wooden toy cube, clothes, Hatch

      not sure if this is assuming you already have all the things you would need prior to 9 months – but if it isn’t, then a keekaro or similar changing pad, diaper pail

    • Anon says

      Assuming you have all the little kid things already, things that started becoming helpful at that age: high chair preferably convertible into a booster, convertible car seat, umbrella stroller, jogging stroller if that’s your thing, all the sippy cups (magic 360 here), if restaurants are in the future the summer infant placemat that rolls up to take with and suctions to restaurant tables, toddler dishes or utensils, a baby-gate or playyard, all the babyproofing latches and door slides, maybe a splash mat, water table or other fun outdoor summer toy. That was also the age that kiddo started being interested in the fisher price farm and little people.

    • Anon says

      FYI, I’ve made the mistake of buying things too far in advance and having it turn out to be the wrong thing for our life when the time comes several times. Or there’s features you wished it had that you didn’t even know were a thing months before. So trying to stick to as generic as possible with things you know there is no way you won’t need, like maybe clothes and consumable stuff? I like the feeding items suggestions (plates, utensils, etc).

      Toys for sure, and I agree with most of the ones suggested so far, but also to keep in mind if the 9 months will be around a holiday and you have large extended family that will ask you what to get the baby for said holiday, I actually struggle sometimes with what to even ask for and having the few toys a 9 months needs might be a good reserve for that list.

      • Anonymous says

        This. And as a counterpoint to the toy suggestions, we bought no toys (excluding books) and got only a handful as gifts until my kid was almost 2. Kids that little are so easily entertained by household items that purchasing toys just felt like a waste of space and money. Even at almost 2, my kid cared more about the wrapping paper than the toy. Once she was 2.5 or so it was a very different story and I had to stop myself from buying all. the. toys.

    • anonamama says

      In addition to those above: Skip Hop bee crawl toy, fisher price rock a stack, stacking cups. Eating utensils! EzPz mats, sippy cups, utensils, cups. A kiddie car with parent push handle for summer strolls (step2 makes one). An alternative to the learning farm push toy might be the Ybike Pewi – can be pushed but is also ride-on so good for older kiddos.

    • SC says

      Eating utensils, plastic bowls, place mats, sippy cups, larger bibs.
      Toothbrush and baby toothpaste.
      Bath mat if the bottom of the tub is slick, faucet cover if necessary, bath toys, gentle shampoo/soap, hooded towels because they’re the cutest.
      High chair/booster seat.
      Convertible car seat.
      Stroller after the one where the infant seat snaps into the frame–jogging, city, whatever fits the family’s needs. Maybe a toddler backpack.
      Baby proofing items–hard to predict because all babies are different, but outlet covers, anchors for furniture, and baby gates at stairs at a minimum.
      If the baby is new to the family (foster, adoption, etc.), crib (possibly one that converts to a toddler bed), mattress, mattress covers, multiple sets of sheets.
      Some clothes, though that’s harder to predict if you’re 9+ months away–easier if this a 9 month old joining the family.

    • Anon says

      If it’s the summer, maybe some outdoor toys like a baby pool or one of those blankets with a waterproof bottom.

    • Anonymous says

      Being a JPL engineer has always been my do-over dream too! I took a field trip to JPL in elementary school and was so inspired. Sadly, I was too anti-homework to like math and science in high school. I would get terrible grades in class and then 5s on the AP exams. I would give just about anything to go back and trade in my useless, expensive law degree for an engineering degree.

    • A says

      Thanks for sharing! Incredible. I love seeing the NASA employees cheering, too. Science for the win!

      • Spirograph says

        I’m so glad it’s not just me. I watched it with my daughter (6) last night and she was all “mommy why are you crying? I can’t look at you when you cry”

        • The New Mrs says

          I’m glad it’s not just me too! I also tear up at the end of plays when they are all taking their bows. It’s just so much work and must be such a relief when it’s over and has gone so well.

  4. Anonymous says

    I’m going to be returning to big law after maternity leave soonish and am really dreading it. I previously really liked my job and despite some big billing years in the past, it was less intense during pregnancy last year. Not returning is not an option and part time is available but I doubt it’s as desirable in practice. Just looking for some advice or to hear from others experiences. I suppose I’m surprised to feel this way. How long did you stay in big law after having a baby and what was your experience like? How did you make it work?

    • Anon says

      i am not in big law, so feel free to ignore everything i say – but do you think you are dreading returning to your job in big law or you are dreading returning to work/leaving your baby/might feel the same if it was any job? those are two different issues. if it is the former, then yes, thinking about an exit from big law makes sense (maybe you dread the hours, the unpredictability of schedule, etc.), but if it is the latter and you just really love being a mom, being home with your baby, etc. then i’ll give you the advice that is given here all the time, which is give it a year. i had severe ppd/ppa and actually could not wait to get back to work, despite thinking in advance that maybe i’d want to be a sahm, and it sounds like your experience is the opposite. will you be returning in-person or from home? what is your partner’s schedule like? what are your childcare plans? think about a way to free up as much of your outside of work time so you can spend it with baby.

    • So Anon says

      My advice is always to give it a few months, at least, to see how you actually feel upon your return. With both of my kids, I found the dread of returning worse than the actual return to the office. With my oldest, I returned to biglaw and left when he was about 18 months. It was not a life that I wanted to maintain as a parent. With my youngest, I returned to work when she was about 4 months old and stayed in my low key job until she was about 18 months. At that point, I was ready and really wanted to kick my career back into high drive. All this to say, give it time to see how you feel.

    • Anon says

      I made it about 2.5 years after kid #1, but less than a month after kid #2. It wasn’t so bad with one kid. I worked on weekends while she napped, and got lots of work in after bedtime. With two kids nap and bedtime schedules didn’t match and it was quickly too much.

      I also found that having a nanny with lots of coverage was essential. Daycare, with pick up and drop offs and sick days, was a stressful time sink.

    • Anon for this says

      I am in one of the biggest of big laws, and I have been in it for 6+ years since having a baby, and now a second. I am not an equity partner, so comfortable living, but not enough to have an army of at-home support like the EPs who I know who have made it work long term at my firm, which is notoriously bad for work/life balance. It’s tough but had been manageable, and I plan to stay. You can do it. I make it work by having a stellar nanny who is extremely reliable and also helps with housework, a partner who is in a less demanding though still full time job, living very close to the office (30 minute commute in normal times; 10 now if I have to go in), driving instead of taking public transport, and by taking full advantage of all of the “perks” of big law, which included 4 months of mat leave for my first and 6 for my second, a certain amount of flexibility in when work has to get done (that allowed me to attend doctors appointments, therapy appointments, and school functions during the day, in before times), Milk Stork when I traveled paid for by the firm, and access to paid emergency back up care (including now a “crisis care” option that lets us pick our own care giver, like a known backup babysitter, instead of sending to a center or going through their network of back up providers). The biggest challenge for me in the before times was travel, and when my partner was traveling at the same time. Hopefully you can avoid that for a bit. I personally would not suggest part time, unless your firm offers an option where you will be “trued up” if you earn more, and even then think twice. I will say I dreaded returning too, and I found that despite that, I was able to be the mom I wanted to be and still be a successful and respected lawyer in my firm. I ultimately decided to get off the equity track, but I’d known from the beginning that’s not what I wanted, at least at my firm, b/c of all the travel required. This is rambling, but hope it helps – you got this!

    • Anon says

      I stayed a couple years (made it until my first was 3 1/2 and my second kid was 1). I actually found big law was a great place for me during pregnancy and young kids stage because there was less of an emphasis on facetime. Working a straight 8-5 type in house job makes it much harder to nip out for kids doctors appointments and such. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

      That being said, I was tired. But when you have a baby (especially during covid) you’re not going out and doing things in the evening. So I’d just leave, spend time with baby, put her down for bed, then log on and do work. It worked pretty well for my practice area – I hope you have flexibility too!

      Now I’m in house and have less flexibility but also less hours, which is nice for the current phase they are in because they require more of me mentally than at that earlier age.

    • Anonymous says

      I left BigLaw when my baby was around 15 months old. I had my baby as a 7th year associate, and when I came back after a 4 month mat leave my practice was pretty slow and it started to look like I wouldn’t make partner/was being gently pushed out. I was proud of myself that I stuck it out for a year, but I started looking and pretty quickly got a government job that I really like.

      • Anonymous says

        Oh also, I found that I was not really able to keep pumping/breastfeeding when I was back at work. We had glass offices, so I had to go to a special room to pump, and my team’s culture was very much “pop into your office 20 times a day to chat” so I was having trouble being away from my desk so much. This might not be a problem with everyone working from home though!

    • anon says

      I’m a biglaw transactional senior associate with three kids – I had my first kid in law school and then two biglaw maternity leaves, and don’t plan to leave, although I do think I would be happy as a SAHM and if I ever lost my job and didn’t find the perfect replacement, I would just stay home.

      A couple thoughts:

      1) my firm has an official maternity leave policy, and then in reality, you can just say when you’re going to come back. So if you’re not ready yet, you could just… extend your leave by a few weeks and see how you feel then – at this point you’ve presumably been out so long that there isn’t anything pressing you need to come back for this week vs. in four weeks. My firm stops paying you after the official leave + sick time + vacation time runs out (if it’s by more than a few days) but will continue prorating your hours target until you come back.

      2) after my second baby I was *not* going to do the part-time thing and came back at 100%, and that year was just a disaster because it was impossible to ramp up fast enough while pumping/adjusting to work again/rebuilding relationships. After the third baby I came back at 80% for for several months (that was as low as I could go without screwing up my benefits etc. and slowing down my partner clock) and even though it wasn’t the silver bullet for lifestyle, it did take the pressure off, made *me* feel justified in setting new boundaries, and was just a much better situation. I went back up to 100% just recently now that I’m no longer nursing or pregnant and my oldest is in school full time, but the expectations and boundaries I set at 80% are still helpful.

      2b) whether you come back on a reduced schedule or not, take the opportunity to be a little picky about what you take on when you come back. You will have the temptation to just jump back onto as many matters as you can to get your hours up again, but you don’t often have the opportunity to start fresh and avoid the partners/clients/topics you like the least – so take it. Set new boundaries; think about what kind of work is “worth it” to leave your baby for. I started a shift into a somewhat different practice area after baby #2 and I could only do it because I didn’t have all the prior work on my plate.

      3) it just sucks, sorry it does. I don’t *love* my job in the same way I loved my jobs before I had kids. It took a big mental adjustment for me to go from someone who was all about my career to someone who was… ok with it, and found a lot more meaning outside of work. Like I said, I don’t plan to leave biglaw unless I’m forced out but nope, I don’t love it anymore.

      • anon says

        ohhhh I should also mention – because this makes a huge difference – that DH stays home full time. that’s really #1 for “how I made it work”. He worked a 75% schedule after first baby, a 25% schedule after second baby, and then quit entirely while I was puking full time while pregnant with third baby, and it is fantastic.

    • anon says

      I’m in BigLaw (not the biggest, but around top30 for reference). I had three kids as an associate (2, 4 and 6 years). I’m now an equity partner. I am in a speciality practice, which definitely helps (both because there is a clear lack of job opportunities and because the hours are slightly more manageable), but I’m not going to lie, it was a haul. A few specific comments:

      I went 80% after my second and was part-time for 8 years (made partner while part-time). I LOVED being part-time. The mental stress of not checking my hours all the time and feeling like I’m doing everyone a favor by taking on a project (just on the inside) was amazing. I justified it by telling them that going part-time would allow me to pick up more of the nonbillable hours that I really needed to develop my career, and I think taking a long view was helpful.

      My husband is an engineer (R&D director) who traveled a ton (pre-COVID). I would have hired evening help earlier on, because a lot of my stress was having to leave the office at 5 to get the kids (45 -60 min commute), feed them dinner, give them baths AND then start working again when he was on a trip. Once we hired a nanny (when my oldest was 7), things got SO much easier. I was very pro childcare center, but the extra help would have been amazing. Part of the problem is that my husband is an equal childcare partner (which you must have) and does all the cooking. So I was always scrambling for food.

      Also, WFH, especially on those crazy days. It was not as acceptable 8 years ago but that would have helped now.

      Finally, find people you can talk to. I talked to just about every female attorneys with kids in my department (beyond my speciality).

    • Anon4this says

      I had my first as a 9th year associate at a top 10ish biglaw firm, but in a specialty practice group that spans litigation/regulatory counseling/ and corporate work. I was passed over for promotion the year I returned from maternity leave, but was promoted to counsel the following year. I now have a almost 2 year old and am still in big law full time with a husband who is a partner at another biglaw firm.

      I went back to work at 6 months and was really ready and excited to be back, but still found it hard. The hours in my practice are not as crazy as a pure litigation or pure corporate practice, but it does get really busy with no notice and that is hard to manage now with a kid. Immediately on return I found pumping really hard and managed about 3 months before switching to formula. There just weren’t enough hours in the day. I’ve had some 200+ hour months since returning and they are virtually impossible and definitely push me to the edge of quitting in a way they would not have before.

      We’ve done both daycare with multiple back up care options and a nanny (during COVID) and neither is really enough on its own – I think our plan going forward is part time daycare/preschool plus a nanny. If we have a second, I’ll try to go part time (80%) but I’m not sure if that will work in my specialty area because my team is small and when the work is there it has to get done.

      In terms of making it work, like everyone says we outsource and lower standards. We have a cleaning service, I use a robot vac for in between clean up, we get meals delivered or do takeout — I try to cook once a week but that doesn’t always happen, the nanny helps with kid laundry / general tidying of toys, we have a yard service that also clears snow, we have a dog walker, I make heavy use of subscribe and save so necessities just show up. I’ve lowered my standards at home and at work (this was hard). When its busy I feel like I’m on a rotating cycle of which client/partner is mildly irritated with me about work being slower than desired. Even with all that I’ve sacrificed a fair bit of sleep. We could probably use a housekeeper rather than a cleaning service but with COVID I haven’t figured that out. To get the hours in after my kid goes to bed I log on and do another 1-4 hours depending on how busy it is. I work during weekend naps (luckily I got a good napper) and at least 1 weekend evening.

      In terms of kid care, outside of nanny hours, my husband and I split weekdays (easier now we are all home) and sometimes my husband and I split up on the weekends and one plays with our kid while the other works (but we try not to go this because its the bulk of our family time). We also try really hard to eat dinner as a family every night and we probably manage 5 out of 7 nights, which I think is pretty good. Finally, my husband and I split morning/night responsibilities so no one does both except on disaster days. We don’t really have any couple time just the two of us though because any time our kid is asleep one or both of us is working.

      Overall, I like my job less now than I did before (which is hard and an adjustment). But I do still like it. When its good, my job is still awesome, but the lows are much lower now. I’m hoping to stick it out but a second kid may not be doable (if I were to have one).

    • Anon says

      My kid is 3.5. We are trying for no. 2 after a miscarriage about 18 months ago. I am counsel, and up for (non-equity) partner within the next year or two at a top 10 firm. The real reason it works for me is that DH is a SAHD and we had a biweekly cleaning service and lawn guy, so weekends were really just family time and (if applicable) working a bit, and I don’t have to worry if I have to stay late and I do not require a lot of sleep (6-7 hours is good for me). If he weren’t, I would probably want a center for day-time and, depending on how intense his job were, weekend and evening help as well (potentially via au pair). I negotiated a WFH one day a week arrangement when I went back (the only one in my office to have one, oh the days), which helped me mentally, allowed me to see my kid when I would otherwise be chitchatting at the coffee machine, and meant I was only pumping two days back to back (on my WFH day I would just nurse). I probably only billed 80% my first year back and 90% my second year back (without going reduced time) due to the fact that it took a little while to be hooked back in to deal flow and my practice was just slower, but I also was able to kill it on a couple of high profile matters and leaned into some non-billable work which helped balance the conversation. In contrast, last year I was well over my hours despite COVID and pandemic parenting. We’ve just rehired a housekeeper on a weekly basis and added laundry which is solving a few pain points, and DD is hopefully going to 4x a week part-time preschool in the fall which will help DH who is currently pulling 1.5 full time jobs worth of childcare. Things that keep me here are that I like the people I work with, I like my clients (a lot of whom are repeat) and I like the work. The flexibility to set my own schedule (subject to client demands, but as you get more senior you have more say in setting and guiding those), or to randomly decide it’s slow and I want to take the morning and do something fun with my kid are something I really value. Friends in house have to submit for PTO weeks in advance, they have to take PTO for every random doctor’s appointment, and they (precovid) had to be bum in seat at specific times every day. I also like not having just “one” boss and the ability to “shop” around who I’m working with if someone is driving me a little batty on a particular deal. Either way I would give it 6 months back, see how you feel and where the pain points are, and adjust accordingly – more WFH, going reduced time, going on a contract arrangement, different childcare, etc.

    • Anon says

      I returned to work part time and left after a year. Part time gave me breathing room, and the ability to spend some time with my kid. But my husband is a law firm partner and had essentially no time to devote to kiddo during the week, so everything fell to me. I was always late, always stretched thin, always pulled in too many directions. That said, I agree with posters saying to see how it goes. There’s a lot you won’t be able to control, but of the things you can, in my opinion, the most important are childcare and home help, whether that’s your partner or a nanny (as someone else said, daycare hours don’t work if there are two parents who work late-ish) and others. There’s a lot that goes into taking care of kids and someone has to do it, so you have to figure out who it will be. Also, if you are really committed, consider staying or moving close to the office. DH and I each had about an hour plus commute each way. Pre-covid, my kids only saw DH briefly in the morning and almost never at night. Once DH starts commuting again, family dinners won’t happen during the week unless he works from home.

      It sounds like you’re committed, at least for the time being, so give it a shot and see how it goes. I never loved my job, so I wasn’t giving that up. But it was an ego blow to give up being a partner at a law firm. That said, I am so much happier being home with my kids and plan to take on other projects when they’re older.

    • anon says

      Non-equity partner at a Top 15 firm here. I have a 7 and 5 year old, a nanny, and a husband who works part time from home. I had my first kid right before being promoted to partner. I went back b/c as the primary breadwinner, I had to. It was a big change, and nervewracking b/c I had no idea what do expect and couldn’t plan my way through – we just had to figure it out what the new normal would be. I would not go back on reduced hours straight away. My impression is those who are on a reduced hours track just end up working or being on call normal hours without getting fully compensated for it. Go back at 100%, find your new balance (give it over 6 months if you’re pumping) and then decide if it makes sense to be reduced hours. It was harder when they are little because they go to bed so early. So I made it a policy to leave promptly at 5 pm so I could be home for dinner and bed time. I had an hour commute, but half of it was on a train so I could be online. 6-7:30 pm was (and is) family time – I put the phone away and do not read or reply to emails. If I have more work, I do it after the kids go to bed.

  5. anon says

    I know this is a question for my pediatrician, but looking for some anecdotal help here too. My almost 4 year old has gone from going #2 every day to every 2-3 days. It’s very unusual for her, but she’s gotten pickier and eating less. She eats a lot of fruits, veggies, and proteins, but generally seems very uninterested in carbs unless it’s got some sugar in it. Does anyone have any advice? Is this normal?

    • Anonymous says

      Interestingly, I have recently been going through the same thing myself in trying ot focus on fruits, veggies, and proteins in my diet. I’m not uncomfortable or bloated, but I also just feel like I never have a satisfying, emptying #2. So maybe it is typical for that sort of diet?!

    • Katy says

      We have had ALL the poop issues – that basically all come back to constipation. This seems related to his reluctance to poop outside the home. As “over holding” become chronic, according to our pediatrician, the child will no longer fully empty his or her bowel. (And then they are constipated, so they eat less = vicious cycle.) In our cases this was leading to lots of mini accidents, reluctance to try to poop etc.

      Basically, my advice: has something changed in her schedule / routines etc. Examine that first and see if there is a solution (new room at daycare or something – but you have probably already thought of that). Add dried fruit to afternoon snack, look out for anything packaged with gelatin in it (and cut that out). A few days of restoralax or similar.

      I don’t know about the carb thing – it could be just that she feels full (but still gets excited for treats). Good luck.

    • Anonymous says

      For appealing high-fiber carbs, we like oatmeal, Kodiak Cakes pancake mix, the Shalane Flanagan superhero muffins, brown rice, Barilla whole-grain pasta, and any of the Cookie and Kate healthy muffin recipes.

    • Anonymous says

      My son has chronic constipation problems and it’s a nightmare. But, adding probiotics daily and staying on top of him to drink water throughout the day seems to help. My ped said that at this young age diet isn’t typically a huge contributor to these issues and it often is either psychological (not necessarily anxiety just kid gets too busy with what they’re doing and puts it off) — my kid eats lots of fruit and veg too. We also do a half dos of miralax if he hasn’t gone in a day (which my ped. had recommended).

  6. So Anon says

    Easter Baskets – Someone mentioned yesterday that Easter is about 6 weeks away. Where do you all buy pre-made (pre-filled?) Easter Baskets? Have you found anywhere that will also send pre-filled eggs? (Other than piecemeal off of amazon)

    • Anonymous says

      I often see these in grocery stores around Easter. Personally I’m a CVS person- one walk down the Easter aisle and I’m done.

    • EP-er says

      I was coming to ask this, too! A quick look online & everything was very expensive…..

    • anne-on says

      I mentioned it the other day and bought from ‘Gourmet Gift Baskets’ upon a recommendation from a colleague who sent them to her wider team and liked them. The ‘gag gifts and candy’ bucket seemed cute and honestly candy + slime will be a hit for my kiddo.
      Eggs are up in the TBD at this point – I have a stash of the plastic ones from years past so I usually just buy a big box of bulk candy and fill them one night while watching silly shows with a glass of wine solo.

    • Realist says

      Etsy seems to have a few options for “filled Easter Basket” or “Complete Easter Basket.”

  7. SSJD says

    Reporting back about the Pottery Barn Kids Unicorn digital clock.
    This is not a product I would recommend. The clock makes a terrible noise. After one morning using the alarm my daughter decided it was too loud. There is no volume control. The electronic sound is harsh, and although there are supposedly 8 songs, half of them are not songs, just piercing electronic noise.
    Also, all the buttons are on the bottom of the clock, making it hard for a child to turn off the alarm or snooze it.
    On the plus side, the clock size is good, it is visually pleasing, the light-up feature works well. If you want a clock but not an alarm, it’s not a bad item.
    Usually PBK products are high quality, but as an alarm clock this really disappoints.

  8. DLC says

    How is candy handled in your family? I used to be really strict about not allowing candy for my kids (9, 4, 1) except at Holidays but I discovered that my oldest was sneaking candy and eating it in her room (and giving to to her siblings…) I don’t want to do the scorched earth method and throw it all out- because getting rid of my chocolate stash in a pandemic (or let’s be honest, ever) is not going to happen. So i’m thinking we should just allow the candy within limits. We had a similar problem with soda so now we have Soda Sunday where the kids can split a can of soda at dinner and that has stopped the soda sneaking. But I can’t figure out a good time for candy- It always seems too close to a meal time or some time when I would rather they just eat a piece of fruit or cheese stick. I think mostly I want the sneaking to stop without shame and have them learn healthy moderation. Would love to hear what kind of candy philosophy/ policies you all have.

    • Anonymous says

      We allow up to one “treat” per day. If there’s cake in the house and they want cake, then no candy or soda that day. If candy is the treat, it’s around two bite-sized pieces after dinner. They are best at self-regulating the quantity after dinner when they’re already full.

    • Anonymous says

      Mine are 7 and 8. One thing I’ve liked about the pandemic is that they’re isn’t as much candy in the house (from birthday parties and the like). When it’s around, we typically say you can have one medium piece or two small pieces after dinner (eat your veggies or you must not be hungry for dessert), and you have to spend the full recommended two minutes brushing your teeth (And flossing is required daily). In general, no candy snacks otherwise and no candy after lunch. My goal is that it’s not forbidden so they sneak it. After about a week (and I’ll throw in a couple fruit dessert days), I start picking stuff out so they have a smaller stash. At Halloween, the general rule is candy disappears at thanksgiving.

    • Anonymous says

      My daughter is 3 and basically hasn’t had candy. We haven’t done traditional Halloween due to pandemic and early bedtimes – she knows it’s a day you wear costumes but not the candy part. We tried using it as a bribe for potty training but it didn’t work. We’re not a sugar free family at all – we bake cookies and cupcakes a lot. She just doesn’t much care about candy/we don’t eat it in front of her.

    • Mary Moo Cow says

      I feel like I’m struggling with this, too. I was a chubby child who was constantly sneaking sweets and I don’t want to repeat history. What’s (maybe?) working for us is a small amount of candy or sweets every other day or few days. We only keep a small stash of individually wrapped or easily parceled out candy in the house (like Starburst, gummy bears, fruit-juice based popsicles.) I sometimes slip a piece on their afternoon snack plate or send in candy with lunch. Then, after dinner, I can remind them they’ve already had candy today. Big Sister asks for candy at morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, after dinner, and all the times in between and sometimes I agree just to avoid a meltdown. Sometimes I like being able to say “Yes!” so I give her an extra piece. When I say no, I always explain why: sugar on teeth, didn’t fill your belly with dinner, had candy Saturday and Sunday, etc.
      I know current wisdom is to offer it as no big deal and offer sweets with meals and let them choose, but that seem so counter-intuitive or at least, so against everything I’ve been told my whole life, to eat real food first, that I can’t quite do it.
      I’ve also heard that, for adults to make themselves stop sneaking it, put the candy in a visible and noisy container so you think twice about “getting caught.” That does work for me — if I know I’m going to draw attention by popping the SnapWare lid off, I usually pass it by. That plus stopping to think if I really want it or just want the satisfaction of sneaking it. So perhaps, if you’re hiding it in the cabinet, make it out in the open and it will be less tempting?

    • SC says

      We keep all acquired candy in a plastic bin on the top shelf of our pantry and offer it for dessert (sometimes it’s the only choice, sometimes he has a choice between his candy and something else). We limit how many pieces he can take and put the bin away–it’s not a free for all. DH and I don’t touch “his” candy, so there’s no reason to rush to finish it.

      We offer dessert most nights after dinner, but I seem to be more relaxed about sugar and desserts than many here. In an ideal world, I’d prefer treats earlier in the day, but Kiddo is on meds for ADHD, and they suppress his appetite. He needs a large, hearty breakfast to get him through the day, and he eats very little and will even decline treats until the meds wear off around dinner time.

      • Anon says

        +1 we use it for dessert after dinner. Usually we only have dessert Fri-Sun, but if it’s around a holiday or I made cookies or something we will have dessert during the week, or offer those treats at snack time (with a glass of milk). Then some days I feel like having a piece of candy after lunch and I let my kids do it, too. I think it’s good to have guidelines but not strict RULES.

    • Spirograph says

      I’m a big believer of everything in moderation. We try to keep sugary stuff infrequent without it feeling forbidden. We let the kids each pick out a candy at the gas station on long road trips. Occasionally, DH will grab something when he’s out running errands with the kids and let them have a piece or two, but we don’t keep mass-market candy in the house aside from the week after Halloween and Easter (they definitely sneak candy if it’s available. that’s just kids. I can’t tell you how many Halloween candy wrappers I found under beds and couches). We do typically have some kind of fancy chocolate or another treat on hand, though. We have dessert after dinner most nights, and everyone who ate enough of the nutritious part of dinner can have a small treat. The kids know the treats are only for dessert and not to bother asking at other times.

      We don’t buy soda for the kids to drink at home (and DH and I don’t typically drink soda at home), but we do have a stash of ginger ale for upset tummies and sometimes make shirley temples for “cocktail hour” after school. We also occasionally let the kids get a root beer or other non-caffeinated soda if we’re eating out. Again, it’s a treat. It’s not something they’re entitled to or they get regularly on a specific day, but if the situation presents itself… we’re not going to stop them from grabbing lollipop from the barber or ordering horchata at a Mexican restaurant.

    • Anon says

      We let them have a small treat after dinner – usually 2 small pieces or something like that. We skip it, if we have had a treat earlier in the day. The candy is readily available in the pantry, and they never touch it.

    • Anon says

      On the bright side, your eldest was sharing! (I jest) I often serve candy on the weekend as part of a morning snack. We have a bonkers amount of Valentine’s chocolate hearts, so the kids get one with a piece of fruit and cheese or whatever the snack is. All of it is served at the same time on the plate, no fuss. Because it’s just there, it’s not particularly titillating and it also comes regularly, so there’s no need to whine for it. I personally hate lollypops, so if anyone has a good plan for ridding your house of those….

    • AwayEmily says

      We keep a baggie of gummy bears in the glove compartment, kids (3 and 4) have one each when they get in the car after school. Also whenever I have dark chocolate (every other day or so), I usually give them a square too. On Christmas morning we decided let them have basically as much as they wanted from their stockings, and I discovered that the 4yo is wonderful at self-regulating. The 3yo, on the other hand, methodically chomped through three packages of Pez and a box of jelly beans before I called an audible and took it away for the day. For the rest of the day he plaintively called out “my body is telling me I need MORE SUGAR!!”

    • Patty Mayonnaise says

      This might be a bit unorthodox, but it’s worked really well for us. We either include candy with a meal (we serve dessert at the same time as the other food) with no seconds, or we provide it as a snack. When we do it as a snack, we let the kids eat as much as they want. And it works! (Though we’ve always done it this way…) It’s not an every day thing, but it’s also not forbidden. I think feeling like something’s forbidden/limited is what causes the “binge”/sneaking type behavior.

      • Patty Mayonnaise says

        We also don’t use candy (or desserts of any kind) as a reward and we try to talk about them the same way as other foods and I think this helps. I have a history of ED so I’ve tried to be really careful about the way I talk to my kids about food.

      • Anon says

        this is what the feeding littles people on instagram recommend and so this is what i do. i have yet to let them eat as much as they want, because i have one kid who is prone to puking, but still doesn’t seem to get how eating too much of something made her feel and another who really i think is genetically predisposed to loving sweets, and to be honest, i dont want to deal with two sugar high soon to be three year old twins. the only issue with this for me, is that i have ZERO self control and so i do binge sweets if they are around. i’d love to be able to keep a box of cookies in the house and give one to the kids from time to time, but what often happens is i give one to the kids, and then one night DH is working late and i’ve just finished a stressful solo bedtime and then i go eat all the cookies. so instead i tend to buy things in more individual portions, which maybe isn’t as cost effective but works better for me. i really dont want them to have this issue that i have with sweets. i also think it would almost be better if i gave it to them with lunch rather than dinner because unless i am serving their absolute favorite food for dinner, like mac n cheese or something, they rarely eat dinner

      • Anonymous says

        Yeah I always find this fascinating! I’m now and always have been a sweets binger. Halloween candy gone in a week, would happily eat a whole jar of Nutella this afternoon. My sister has always been the opposite. Might eat a piece or two of candy if she feels like it.

        • Anonymous says

          This is me too, which is the reason we don’t keep a bunch of junk food in the house. I won’t binge on expensive stuff, but I will absolutely eat a whole bag of mixed hershey’s candy in a couple days.

          I have my nutella hiding behind a bunch of stuff in the pantry so I have to rearrange to get to it, otherwise I’d eat a spoonful of it every time I walk by!

    • Anonymous says

      We do one treat a day. Sometimes we have candy in the house, sometimes we don’t. We bake a lot or will get a donut at the store or whatever. My 4yo understands she already had her treat and too much sugar will make her belly hurt. We also talk about eating a wide variety of foods to get all the nutrients we need.

      I had unlimited access to sugary stuff as a kid which was not..,great. Miraculously I have a high metabolism and haven’t struggled with weight but I totally fight a sugar addiction all the time. Like I cannot moderate my intake of sweet things. I barely ever buy ice cream or Oreos. I miss pre-Covid life when I could bake and send the rest to my DHs office. But I’ve also heard that limiting it leads to the same issue later on in life…so my friends who grew up in houses where like a candy bowl was always out did not have that issue.

    • Anonymous says

      Oh we just don’t drink soda. DH and I don’t drink it. But we drink seltzer water and our kids do too! I think as they’re older we’d let them have it at a party. But that seems much less common now than the 90s haha

    • Anonymous says

      My parents were very restrictive about sweets and it led me to binge eat for years (through early adulthood). I had no concept of listening to my own hunger or cravings – it was all about the “forbidden fruit.” It took me a long time to recover from it, I probably met the criteria for an eating disorder at the worst of it, and I really wish they had done it differently. My close friend whose mother had NO restrictions on food could be around tons of candy in her house all day and never even want it whereas I’d be shoveling it down my throat before it was “taken away.” I urge you to really think about the long-term impact of restriction on your kids.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      Like a lot of you, we also do a few small pieces of candy as dessert every night (usually fruit snacks, starburst or hershey kisses if we have them from a holiday). The kids know they get dessert after dinner. Sometimes, we do a lollipop after a haircut and that’s their treat of the day. They don’t really ask for it otherwise and their snacks are usually some sort of fruit, crackers, sometimes cucumbers or carrots, etc. My husband occasionally has soda, which my older one will of course ask for a sip of, but I don’t really like having soda in the house.

      I know food can be tricky, especially depending on how the kids’ metabolism is. When I was a kid, I wasn’t really restricted from candy or chocolate, and had fast food a decent amount, but I also had a fast metabolism and didn’t have any weight issues or food sneaking concerns.

    • Anon says

      In moderation. Used as a bribe as needed. Generally given on demand so long as it’s not too much. DH has a sweet tooth and I love chocolate, so there is always candy around. Because she has some most days, we don’t have a lot of whining about it. If she’s had too much sugar (either via candy, juice, fruit if she’d eat it, etc.) then we just say no more until tomorrow and that’s the end of it. I usually keep it in mason jars both because they are difficult for her to open on her own and I can keep an eye on how quickly we’re going through the stash (and say “forget” to buy some the following week if we (and I mean all of us) are binging). Then DD knows we have to wait for the grocery order to get more (and helpfully reminds me daily to order it).

    • anon says

      We have special treat nights on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. They can have a serving size of candy (a serving size is what the bag describes as a serving size, or what I think is a rational equivalent if we don’t have the bag anymore – something like two pieces of Halloween sized candy) or ice cream (or probably other things but that’s what it comes down to). On other nights, they can have the foods they are allowed for snack, like yogurt, Oreos (two), fruit, dried fruit etc. Also, if it’s warm outside (there is a temperature threshold), they can have a popsicle after school/playground.

      If I bake, they can have a reasonable amount of baked goods as part of their snack or dessert (that’s not considered a special treat), but they can only have ice cream with it if it’s a special treat night (this is because otherwise baked goods go to waste and I like baking).

      We allow occasionally allow a soda for dinner (once or twice a week, usually with a special dinner or when I’m feeling generous).

      My kids are 7, 9 and 12. They don’t sneak food otherwise, but I suspect that’s because we’re fairly permissive (but with moderation). I didn’t let my oldest have a lollipop until he was 4, but my middle one got one at 18 months (which is when the oldest was 4).

    • Anonymous says

      My kids are 3/5/7. I allow candy for the older two as a snack/treat after lunch on weekends, or will sometimes stick a small piece in their lunchbox at school (Eg after Halloween). Sometimes I let them have a piece as an after school snack SEO if near a candy holiday, as long as fruit or something f healthy is also involved.

      I throw at least half of what enters our house out but also keep a stash on hand for before/after sports. My 5 y/o gets a (mini) bag of skittles after a soccer game where she actual tried, for example. My 7 y/o gets to pick a slushie or a piece of candy after she scores a goal (or blocks one) in her sport.

      My general rule is candy is not an option for dessert because it’s too much right before bed- but my kids go to bed early. I also try really hard to keep my 3 y/o away from it. I saved all the M&Ms from halloween and used them as potty training bribes though.

  9. Cute PJs says

    I love these pajamas, but they are so expensive I decided it didn’t make sense to continue to keep buying them for my baby who outgrow everything after only a month.

    • DLC says

      This is absolutely the kind of thing I would buy in the sleep deprived haze of newborn life after one too many 2am snap struggles. Actually, I would be lying if I say i’ve never stood for ten minutes in Buy Buy Baby contemplating putting a set in my shopping cart.

    • Anonymous says

      I had two of the same magnetic onesie (3m and 6m size) starting with my 2nd baby and they were my favorite. They were fuzzy and striped like the Cheshire Cat in Alice and Wonderland, and put baby #3 (boy) in them too. They’re among the very few baby clothes I saved in case my siblings want to have Cheshire babies someday.
      There are cheaper off-brands, but it’s worth a splurge on magnets! Not in newborn size, though. Never splurge on newborn-sized anything. My kids only fit in N for a couple weeks, tops.

    • anne-on says

      They were one of my go-to gifts for new parents – expensive enough that you felt silly buying it yourself, but handy enough that you REALLY appreciated that someone got it for you.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      I too got a pair as a gift for my second and they were great and so soft! But yeah, too much for me to spend on regular baby PJs that they outgrow so quickly. I only started buying Hannas PJs (mostly on sale) when I was confident my kid would get at least a year’s wear out of them, and then hand down.

    • Anonymous says

      Aren’t zippers just as good or almost as good? I’m 100% on board with avoiding lots of snaps but I don’t think you need to be this exotic.

      • Anonymous says

        Yes and no. The biggest advantage of magnets over zippers — especially if it’s cold — is that you don’t have to undo the whole thing. You can keep the baby’s chest warm and just undo enough magnets to get to the diaper (I never used undershirt + onesie, but I guess that would also solve it).

        My onesie heirarchy was magnets > zipper > snaps I weighed convenience of a zipper over the baby’s comfort. sorry, babies!

        • Anonymous says

          Am I missing something? Don’t you just zip up from the feet so the baby’s chest stays covered?

          • Anonymous says

            I never saw any footies with dual zippers, it was fixed on one foot and zipped up to the chin. But my knowledge is 3 years out of date, so maybe there are new ones that solved this design flaw!

          • Anonymous says

            They have! My LO wears some from Target that zip down from the top to the foot. I have a couple “fancy” ones that zip from the foot up, and those languish in the back of the drawer.

          • CCLA says

            Super late now but for anyone coming back to this thread, target cloud island reverse zip or inverted zip is amazing. I think my second wore nothing else for the first two months of her life.

  10. Anon Lawyer says

    Any thoughts on Lovevery vs. Kiwi Crate for a toddler? We’ve been doing Kiwi Crate, which is fine. Some of the stuff they send (most recently, a peg board with rings) is a big hit; some is mostly ignored. But I’ve heard some people say Lovevery is well worth the extra money, so I’ve been debating switching.

    I also think I need to do a better job rotating out toys so we have a clearer playing field, but some of the Lovevery stuff seems like it has a lot of tiny pieces to keep track of; wondering if that will drive me nuts.

    • Anonymous says

      If you’re struggling with too many toys, the answer is not buying more toys

      • Anon Lawyer says

        Hahah, no, I know that. It’s less that and more moving out the baby stuff that she doesn’t really pick up anymore but that I keep thinking she will suddenly discover and repurpose.

    • Anonymous says

      I haven’t tried Lovevery or Kiwi but the similar subscription I tried was pretty meh and really not worth the money ($20/month, a.k.a. a nice Melissa and Doug toy that would get a lot more use and last longer). I would stop the subscription and buy toys as you need them or as you hear a friend/thiss1te rave about a particular toy that you think would appeal to your kid. Particularly if your kid is under 2 you really don’t need much and many kids that age won’t show a lot of interest in things that are marketed as toys.

    • Patricia Gardiner says

      We have Lovevery (have not had Kiwi) and love it so much. DS is now 2.5 and still likes to revisit the 1-year-old boxes frequently- the toys are very well-made and appealing. I think I enjoy them almost as much as he does…

  11. Daycare notice says

    Have y’all ever switched daycares and, if so, how did you handle giving notice? We’ve made the decision to switch to a new daycare in a couple of months and have to give 30 days notice to our current center. Our reasons for switching are 100% due to policies and decisions made at the corporate and regional level (it’s a large national chain) and not anything to do with any of the teachers, etc., who I love.

    If I don’t give the 30 days notice, I’ll have to pay the extra month, which I really don’t want to do. Is it appropriate to give notice to the center but ask them to wait until closer to the last day to tell the classroom teachers? Or am I over-thinking this and it doesn’t really matter if the teachers know for a whole month before we actually leave? I’m feeling a lot of guilt about the whole thing as we really love the people who interact with our kids on a daily basis. Ugh.

    • Anonymous says

      I just told them when my last day would be- a month plus a few days. Idk when exactly they told the teachers, I mentioned it to them myself as well.

    • Anonymous says

      I think you’re overthinking and it doesn’t matter when the teachers know. People move, change jobs, switch because they don’t like the director, etc. The teachers won’t take it as a personal insult. If you’re really worried about it you can tell them why you’re switching and emphasize it has nothing to do with them but I don’t think they’ll be personally insulted either way.

      • Spirograph says

        Yes. When we gave notice at our center (due to director/board decisions, nothing to do with the wonderful teachers), we just followed the timing rules. We separately talked with the teachers, but we left at a transition time anyway, so I don’t think we were actually pulling any of our kids from the class they otherwise would have stayed in. We wrote cards and gave gifts to the teachers when we left, same as we did for any other room transition.

    • Anonymous says

      Daycare switches are routine and should be no big deal. Give the required notice and let the center handle it per their usual procedures. The teachers are not going to retaliate against your child if they find out.

      Now if you were switching clubs in a serious sport that would be a whole other deal…

    • EB0220 says

      I would say you’re overthinking. In my experience with daycare, there is often tension between the teachers and front office anyway. I might consider letting the teachers know directly and just say, “Teachers, we’re going to be moving kiddo to a new center next month. It just works out better for us. We will really miss you!” or something like that. It’s routine that people switch, move, etc so I don’t think it will impact the way they treat your kid, especially since you haven’t had any issues with them before.

    • DLC says

      Absolutely nothing to feel guilty about! People know that options abound and decisions are very personal. We always gave at least the requisite amount of notice when leaving a daycare, though ours was always two weeks. What would be your concern about the thirty days? If it will make things easier for your peace of mind, you can absolutely ask the school when they will tell the teachers and if there is anything you need to know or can do. No reason not to ask. I know at my kids daycare sometimes when a kid left, the parents brought in a treat so they could have a little good-bye celebration.
      I wouldn’t think it worth paying a month of childcare fees if it’s just a mental hurdle.

    • Boston Legal Eagle says

      Nothing to feel guilty about! The teachers see new kids come in all the time, and leave for various reasons. There’s typically a longish notice period so that they can fill the spot (if you’re in an in-demand city, that may not take long!) Just thank the teachers on the last day and give them a card (and possibly a gift, if you’re so inclined).

    • Anon says

      I’m on the board of a nonprofit daycare. I think it’s the most wonderful place in the world. I understand that daycare selection is really personal and want families to go with what works for their family at that time, which may be something different. It’d be worse to stay if it’s not the right fit.

      From my view, as long as families are nice on the way out and don’t complain about sticking to the agreement about notice/payment, leaving doesn’t ruffle feathers. It’s a totally normal thing.

  12. AnotherAnon says

    Late in the day but I just found out I’ll be unemployed starting next month. This wasn’t totally unexpected, so I’m planning to take some time off work and move kiddo to part time day care – 8:30-2:30 instead of 8:30-4:30. Any ideas for things to do with him? So far I’m thinking: library, aquarium, zoo…I guess we should go camping. He’s 4, super social and not very adventurous. Maybe I should try to set up some play dates with the other day care kiddos.

    • Anonymous says

      I would be inclined to keep full time care if you can afford it and just pick him up early as you feel like it. I’m on a leave of absence from work right now and that’s what I’ve been doing. We do Target and the library (try to limit visits to 30 minutes), ice skating, sledding and the playground when the weather is nice. Zoo is opening in April and will be in our regular rotation then. Swimming pool /waterpark once it gets warm enough. Playdates would be good if you can arrange them but probably not necessary with a kid in 5 day a week daycare. At least that’s what I’m telling myself because nobody in our daycare has been willing to do even masked, outdoor playdates. Even as the Covid numbers improve people seem to be sticking to socializing with the people they already know well, which I understand, but it’s been kind of isolating as someone who didn’t really know anyone in this daycare before the pandemic began (kid was barely 2 so we hadn’t set up playdates or done the birthday party circuit).

    • Anon says

      Do you have a nature center near you? You can add “hiking” aka walking in the woods and going to the playground 1-2 afternoons a week. I’d also plan 1-2 afternoons to just be at home, hanging in your yard or playing games and reading books.

    • Mary Moo Cow says

      All of those sound great! So does just staying at home. I often try to make the most of early pick up with all.the.errands or all.the.fun.things, but really, what my kids want to do is just go home and have my full, undivided attention. They will happily play games, play outside, bake, etc., just with me. Or play by themselves, or watch a show, or have a silent snack. Especially as they get older (mine are 5.5 and 3.5 now) they need some decompression time beyond the car ride home.
      I have also found that if I give them my attention for awhile in the afternoon, then when I need them to leave me alone to prep dinner, cook, laundry, etc., they are more likely to leave me alone. And I second leaving yourself some time to run errands by yourself or prep dinner at home before you pick the kids up.

      • Anonymous says

        Agree with this – staying home and playing with her toys is a huge treat for my kid who is in daycare 40 hours/week since if I get her at the normal time it’s pretty much just dinner and straight into the bedtime routine without much time for play. I would definitely not try to plan outings every day and encourage some open-ended play.

    • Pogo says

      Sorry to hear you are unemployed – definitely keep the daycare spot if you think you’ll be going back to work FT. Recently saw a family lose their spot at our daycare because they pulled kiddo out completely (but I don’t think they could cover it financially).

      As far as what to do with kiddo… I feel like the last 11 months have been constant ‘what to do with kiddo’! We just recently started going to the library to return/pick up books, but it is super quick so we don’t interact with anyone. Not like the BeforeTimes where we’d stay for an hour+ and play, read, go to story time, etc.

      I don’t know where you are but the zoos and aquariums near me that are open are still at limited capacity, so not sure how hard it is to get a spot. I haven’t tried because we are really prioritizing daycare over any other in-person activities.

      I would lean into the outdoor activities. Lots of snow play for us this past weekend, which was awesome. I did the “paint” on snow with food coloring spray bottles and the surprising hit was actually me writing stuff in the snow (LO’s name, baby brother’s name, etc).

    • AnotherAnon says

      Thanks everyone! And thanks for the sympathy/well wishes. I feel pressured to make it the Best Season Ever, but I just need to chill and let us both have some down time. I’ll introduce him to the library and we’ll get outside as much as we can.

      • Anonymous says

        Library or outdoor time every afternoon sounds like a storybook childhood! Enjoy this time.

    • Anonymous says

      You could sign him up for an activity or lessons (gymnastics, soccer, swimming, skiing), take him to the library (if open), on errands with you (grocery store, target, etc).

      If you want to be more active, go for a run or bike ride. Go to the playground. Meet buddies for a bike ride or at the playground.

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