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I want to give props to whomever does the shoe buying for the Free People website. Their selection is really unique and edgy. I think that some of the shoes are straight-up hideous, but at least there’s a point of view that seems consistent with the brand. These flats are cute but also have a little bit of a twist. I like that even though they’re flat, they still have a tiny block heel. I also think that the amount of foot that they show balances the fact that they have an ankle strap. Sometimes I think an ankle strap can make a person’s legs look shorter, but I think because the strap comes forward on the foot a bit more, it doesn’t have that effect. These also come in yellow, and they’re adorable, but they skew a bit more casual in the brighter color. They’re $90 and come in sizes 6–10. Mary Jane Flat This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
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- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon says
Baby shower help please! I’ve been invited to a friends baby shower (twins – she has a toddler, too). I’ve purchased something nice off her registry. Should I bring something additional to the baby shower? The shower is hosted by another friend at her home- do I bring her anything? Thank you.
Clementine says
You don’t have to bring anything.
If you want to really knock it out of the park, bring the toddler something like stickers and a bottle of wine for the hostess.
Anonymous says
Just bring your gift.
Anon says
Bring your gift, or if you had it shipped, then just print a picture of the gift and tape it inside the card. (“Shipped this bedding straight to your house. Can’t wait to meet the little munchkins!”)
Don’t bring anything else.
Anonymous says
You certainly don’t need to bring anything else, but I would add a book for the baby with a nice note inside. My shower was “bring a book not a card” theme, which was great for stocking the kiddo’s bookshelves, but I mostly treasure the really special notes people wrote to my baby inside.
Anonymous says
I say don’t bring anything else. Most people will show up with just a gift and bringing something extra will make other guests feel bad, even if that’s not your intention. If you really want to do something for the hostess, you can send her a note and a gift after the shower.
Anonymous says
I would bring a baby/toddler appropriate book or onsie that wasn’t on the registry – at pretty much every babyshower I’ve been to, the unwritten rule was somethign from the registry that the mom needed, and something else that was unneeded but cute. Doesn’t need to be expensive.
Cb says
I’d get those cute socks that look like Converse. Or a couple of Sophies – everyone needs a fresh Sophie and a backup Sophie.
avocado says
If you are a working mom who travels, you absolutely must see The Incredibles 2. It captures the reality perfectly. I am on a trip this week and feel exactly like Elastigirl. I am having fun doing exciting things, but when I call home in the evenings I feel as if I should fly home immediately to straighten everything out. Sigh.
Anonymous says
My husband took our girls to see this and he said that I’d have really liked it for just this reason.
Anon says
+2. I got home from a trip early, so I got the kids early from daycare and took them to a matinee showing. I loved the part where she’s on a motorcycle mid-mission but gets a call about a missing shoe.
My DH travels as well, so I’ve also been on the everything’s-fine-at-home front lines as well, and that felt true to life. The whole movie was really well done.
My kids just liked the fight scenes and the popcorn, but oh well. Maybe they’ll appreciate the bigger messages when they’re older.
anne-on says
My son saw it with our au pair and he did mention that ‘the mom traveled like you mommy, but SHE was a superhero!’. Oh, and the popcorn and lemonade were for sure his favorite parts. Waiting to watch it at home where I can FF through the blinky parts, that’s a surefire migraine trigger for me.
EB0220 says
Yep, I loved it too. Both my husband and I travel and both sides of the equation rang true.
Meg Murry says
I saw it at a birthday party with a bunch of 5-6 year olds and their parents, and I think we parents liked it as much or more than the kids did. We all related to both the mom on the business trip and the dad just trying to keep it together – lots of “oh, I remember that phase” looks were exchanged between the adults.
AnotherAnon says
We’re taking our 16 mo to the Redwoods (our annual family trip) this year! Send me all your camping/packing/travel tips! Since we live in Texas, he has very little cool weather gear. Most of his current wardrobe is hand me downs, Walmart, or Carter’s. Is there anywhere you recommend for fleece, sweatpants, etc or should I just stick with Walmart?
EB0220 says
I’ve had good luck with the discount outdoor gear sites for kid’s outdoor clothes: Campmor, Sierra Trading Post, Moosejaw and REI Outlet. Especially right now there should be good deals on cool weather stuff.I think Patagonia and REI make the best outdoors clothing for kids. The Patagonia long underwear and fleece jackets are wonderful. REI also makes really quality clothes even for little kids. My theory is that I want the kids to have the same level of quality as my husband and I so they don’t get cold while we’re comfortable, etc.
If you’re camping, the REI Kindercone sleeping bag is really nice. It has an attached stuff bag and a drawstring that lets you change up the size of the bag depending on your kid’s height. Both of my girls have that and the REI Kindercamp sleeping pad.
On my site I have some posts on flying with kids…one is up for flying w babies (in link) and on Thursday I’ll have one posted for flying w older kids.
Anonymous says
Carters and Old Navy usually have a lot of fleece in the fall/winter. I don’t think you need expensive fleece for a 16 month old. You can also check Sierra Trading Post.
Anonymous says
+1 million. Maybe I’m a cheapo but there’s no way I’d buy a toddler REI or Patagonia, especially if I lived in a warm climate and the winter clothes were just for one trip.. Carter’s will be fine. He can communicate if he’s chilly and you can add layers or cuddle. And generally the problem with cheaper brands is just that they wear out sooner, which isn’t an issue for you.
anon says
+1 I don’t buy my toddler expensive fleece (if we happen to get a hand me down, great! Otherwise he’s getting Old Navy and Target). Cotton should also be fine, just bring back ups in case it gets wet.
J says
We often do a Columbia fleece zip-up for fall and spring. Or Land’s End, which has 40% off right now. We live where kiddo will use it a bunch, and those brands seem to be good quality for the price. Columbia has an outlet, too.
anon. says
On the inexpensive end – buy some of the Uniqlo baby heat tech leggings and tops. Lightweight and comfy, but warm.
Anonymous says
Also you can check thred up or swap (used clothes sites online) and buy them used, especially if you won’t need them regularly. It’s not the warmest, but we’ve also liked the gerber fleece on amazon, which is usually around $12. We buy it large enough to layer a sweater under.
Tfor22 says
Any miscellaneous travel tips? We are heading out to England soon. The bulk of our trip is dedicated to doing the pilgrimage to Canterbury but we have a day in London when we arrive. The kiddo (12) wants to go on the London Eye, so we’ll do that before Evensong at Westminster. Sunday we’ll go to a Eucharist at Southwark Cathedral and get our pilgrim’s passes, then head to our starting point.
We are set with clothes, converters, hiking boots and rain gear, as well as clothes to wear when we are not walking. We will probably bring some of our favorite snacks (kate’s bars!). What am I missing?
And any suggestions for fun fiction? All the books I have loaded on my Kindle so far are nonfiction. I am especially looking forward to reading Endure and a new biography of Thoreau.
Anonymous says
For Canterbury-related fiction for you and your kid, how about The Inquisitor’s Tale? My 11-year-old loved it and convinced me to put it on my reading list.
avocado says
For Canterbury-related fiction for you and your kid, how about The Inquisitor’s Tale? My 11-year-old loved it and convinced me to put it on my reading list.
Cb says
I actually really love the Thames commuter boat. I think it’s quite a fun way to see London.
For reading, The Pillars of the Earth, a novel about building a cathedral?
ElisaR says
pillars of the earth is such a good book!
lsw says
Ooo, what’s the new Thoreau biography?
I like to read quick page-turner thrillers on vacation, like Gillian Flynn or Lianne Moriarty (Big Little Lies I especially enjoyed). For light reads, I also recently enjoyed The Girl from Everywhere and Eleanor & Park (technically YA fiction, I think but gosh I loved it).
Tfor22 says
Thanks, everyone! Pillars of the Earth sounds fun. The lad has been reading the Osborne kid’s version of the Canterbury Tales to get ready. Here is a link to some information about the Thoreau book:
http://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/H/bo23013074.html The reviews tab will make you want to run out and buy it.
Anon says
So I’m 8 weeks postpartum and suffering from post partum depression/anxiety. I’m getting help. My question is when I return to work in four weeks and people ask me how it’s going, no one wants to hear that/I don’t feel like it’s necessarily appropriate to share that with my colleagues, but at the same time how do we end the stigma and encourage others to seek help. This is something that I think about more generally in regards to mental health issues. Do i just go back to work and tell everyone how wonderful it is to be a mom and how much i love my kid?
Anonymous says
I would probably not volunteer info about the PPD but not say anything false. In my experience people will ask how the baby is, not how you are (sad but true). So I think you can just say “the baby’s great!” And show them some baby photos and that will be the end of it.
Anonymous says
I think you can split the difference and say something true, like, “it’s been a big adjustment, but baby is incredible.” “We’re still so sleep deprived and trying to figure things out, but we love baby.” Most people are just being polite and/or want to see cute baby pictures, but this leaves room for others who have struggled or are struggling to empathize. But it is also okay to protect yourself right now and focus on ending stigma when you are feeling a little stronger – take care of yourself first. And you can focus on ending stigma outside of work too – that’s also a very valid choice. Sending hugs!
anon says
This is what I did. I didn’t have PPD, but being a new mom is HARD. My answer to that question was “It’s challenging, but we’re adjusting. Baby is cute.”
Anon. says
Hugs. And good for you on getting the help you need.
Can you say something like – “It’s been a challenge, but I’m glad to have lots of support and baby is awfully cute so that helps too.” Which is vague enough that you’re not oversharing, but also not entirely rose-colored either. And you can share more details about what ‘support’ means if someone needs that information but leave it vague for most. In my experience, returning to work people either assumed things were great or they assumed things were awful and I hadn’t slept in 4 months. (The truth was somewhere in the middle.) So I don’t know that you have to be 100% chipper about how great having a baby is, people know it’s not all fun.
Anon in NYC says
Yes. I don’t think PPD/anxiety is something that you need to totally hide in the workplace, but I think that you should be selective in how/when you share the information and who you share it with. In those initial conversations, people want things like: baby’s great, it’s been an adjustment, etc.
BPS says
+1 to this. I am 7.5 months PP and didn’t realize until a few weeks ago or so that I had PPA and was probably really close to PPD. I was THRILLED to be back at work after 4 months — I did not realize how lonely I felt (November baby, long winter, DH long work hours at new job, lots of trouble getting BF started, etc.), and how “normal” these feelings were until just a few months back. I just said “Happy to be back, baby is great!” and now when people ask I say “Those first months were tough, but man it’s a lot more fun now” (which I mean). It gets better. I promise. Sending you tons of virtual love and good vibes.
Anonymous says
“Fine thanks! Glad to be back at work.” And change the subject. Do not tell your coworkers about your mental illness.
Pogo says
I mentioned this before, but I was always pretty open about generally how tough things were (when they were tough) and was pleasantly surprised that everyone – men, women, people who have grown kids now – would chime in to tell their baby war stories. I tried to *sound* upbeat even if I wasn’t (“Baby Pogo has decided he isn’t sleeping now!”), mostly to keep myself from bursting into tears, and surprised myself that this “fake it til you make it” really worked.
I will also say that for me, those crushing early days got much better and by the time I went back to work it seemed like a distant memory even though it was a few short weeks ago. I was tired, and worn down, but not clinically depressed.
Mrs. Jones says
First, I’m glad you’re getting help. I wish I’d gotten help earlier.
Second, you don’t need to lie, but you also don’t need to vent to everyone who asks. Others posters’ advice is good: say we’re surviving, baby is doing well, thanks.
If you want to complain, come sit by me. :)
NewMomAnon says
Hugs. No, you don’t lie. You say, “It’s good to be back here. Being home with a baby is hard work.” And the people who understand will nod and take you out for coffee, and the moms who expect you to be sobbing about leaving your baby will leave you alone.
Also – it’s helpful to clue in somebody, especially if you are getting help already. I had PPA and I was a disaster at work for a few months. HR and my supervisor cleaned up a few of my messes (eep) and backstopped my decision making when I didn’t trust my own judgment. It was nice to have safety net.
lawsuited says
I think be honest, without going into details about your medical diagnosis and treatment, like “Caring for a newborn is really tough – it’s given me a new appreciation for all the moms out there!” I had (relatively mild) PPD/A, and I talked about it in a similar way with co-workers and acquaintances who asked, and I got a lot of commiseration from other moms/parents which actually really helped me feel more normal and like things would get easier for me like it had for them.
Different perspective says
I was diagnosed with PPD after returning from maternity leave. I had to tell my employers due to the severity of the PPD and the need for accommodations. Ultimately I chose to disclose it to my co-workers. I did not share with everyone but I was surprised to find that my co-workers were supportive. I am in a law office that is not forward thinking and it would have been easier to lie and say that my life was sunshine and rainbows. I was not ashamed that I needed medical help. However, if we do not normalize these conversations, some people will never feel realize that it could happen to them or feel comfortable obtaining the help that the need.
anne-on says
Can you check thredup for stuff like this? I don’t know that Walmart will have much this time of year. You may also have good luck with a local outdoor store. FYI – kids fleeces/true outdoor gear rarely goes on sale because if you need it, you need it. That said, they don’t use it much and outgrow it SO quickly so ebay or thred up could be a gold mine.
In terms of brands, LLbean, Patagonia, Boden, and Lands end all have great raincoats/boots. Hot chilis is $$ but makes FANTASTIC base layers for kids.
anon says
Good for you for getting help. With that help, I hope you’ll be feeling better by the time you’re back. When I returned to work and people asked me how it was going I mostly said, it’s hard or exhausting or some variation of the sleep deprived mom routine (which is how I felt at the time).
Anonymous says
Good for you for getting help and I hope you’re doing better soon!
I am all for ending the stigma and encouraging others to seek help but would argue that the workplace, generally, is not where to do it…if you have close friends at work and want to share openly with them that’s one thing, but getting back to work will be tough enough, and you’ll be feeling unsure enough about yourself, that you don’t want to add the extra burden of having people around the office be concerned about your mental health.
mascot says
+1. I was fairly forthcoming with my close friends at work later on. These are the same people I would have felt comfortable mentioning other illnesses/struggles to.
Cb says
Family travel recs….my FIL lives in British Columbia and we’re due to make a visit from the UK March or April next year. My family lives in California, so we were thinking 5-6 days with them and another 10 days or so with my parents. I haven’t spent much time in the Pacific Northwest and thought we could do a bit more exploring. But alternatively, hanging out in my hometown would likely be more relaxing.
Recs for the PNW?
Kiddo will be 20 months and I suspect the time with the in-laws will be pretty full-on – they are pretty set in their ways and I think they’ll find having a toddler around a strain.
Anonymous says
Get your own hotel so you can retreat there when either you’ve had enough of the in-laws or the in-laws have had enough of the toddler. I actually enjoy my visits with my in-laws way more now, because we can escape to our room whenever the baby needs to nap (or “needs to nap”).
Everlong says
Anyone need a diversion and feel like just please telling me what to do with my bathroom?
We’re getting a new tub installed in our master bathroom this week. Our master is nothing exciting: tub, toilet, small vanity. My husband will replace the toilet and the top of the vanity at some point. We have no storage. Right now, we have an awful shelving system above the toilet leftover from the previous owners. It’s wicker and awful. The floor is neutral, grayish tile. Fixtures will all be just dark. The vanity top will be a plain, sleek white.
Our style is simple, I like the farmhouse/modern look. Our new tub is white.
Would anyone like to find me, please:
1. Paint. The only requirement is that it’s Sherwin Williams
2. A new shower curtain
3. Towels
4. A medicine cabinet or something to replace the aforementioned awful wicker shelves above the toilet
Thank you!
rosie says
On #4: We had a white cabinet above the toilet that was fine but nothing great. We replaced it with a large, recessed mirror medicine cabinet above the sink/vanity. Picked it up from Home Depot. It is a much nicer look, the bathroom looks less cluttered, and I was able to hang a framed print above the toilet (our only empty wall space in that bathroom). A lot of storage, and I’m no longer worried about dropping things in the toilet.
anne-on says
I’d also try to go with a mirrored recessed medicine cabinet if you can fit it in between your studs. I’d also try to maximize under cabinet storage with a trip to the container store (or amazon) for shelves that fit, ideally ones with flat tops so you can store things on top of them. Also – can you put some clear, flat ledges above your towel racks or somewhere on a wall? That and adding towel racks to the back of a door really helped in our son’s bathroom.
A train rack can also add a huge amount of storage above a toilet while giving you space to dry face towels/washcloths.- https://www.restorationhardware.com/catalog/product/product.jsp?productId=prod1159056&categoryId=search
Anonymous says
Re: #2 I like Anthropologie for shower curtains. Some of them are cray (though I love the gold octopus) but there are some beautiful classic ones there like the Georgina and Rivulets.
Mrs. Jones says
World Market has fun towels and shower curtains.
Anonymous says
Re: #1, I love Rainwashed by Sherwin Williams in an otherwise neutral bathroom. It’s a pretty, spa-like blue. You could also do it at 50% (have them mix it with white) for a more pale/less saturated color, if you want just a hint of blue. I think it would be pretty with your dark fixtures, grayish floor, white vanity, white tub… for #3, with that I’d probably do all white towels (also spa-like, to me).
Delta Dawn says
(That was me recommending Rainwashed– whoops)
Clementine says
Rainwashed is nice. I was going to suggest SW Hazel (possibly mixed 50% as well) which is a beautiful blue-green color.
I’d also suggest all white towels. For storage I would do two things: an on the wall wine rack for towels (look for a simple, modern shape) and then probably bolt a wooden crate to the wall (possibly painted white) and put a basket in that to corral small things.
anon says
Thank you for the wine rack idea! My “linen closet” is currently a dresser in the baby’s room, but I need to remove it for babyproofing since he’ll be out of the crib soon. I could mount a wine rack to the wall in the hallway outside my bathroom and use for towels!
Everlong says
Those are both great paint suggestions, thank you! Hazel it is! I like the bolder color.
Love the idea of wall wine rack! That’s so cool. I never ever ever would think of something like that. And the wooden crate! Perfection.
Rainbow Hair says
I’m a big fan of pinks-so-pale-you-can’t-tell-they’re-pink for walls that feel warm and clean. Maybe Intimate White?
anon says
My third grader has outgrown his Pottery Barn Kids lunchbox, which he’s been carting around since kindergarten. What’s the logical next step up? Something from Lands End or LLBean? His biggest objection is the superhero pattern, not the size, but I can see that changing soon. I’d like to buy something that can last the rest of elementary school. Would prefer something with a bit of structure — they throw all lunchboxes into this giant bin that is carted into the cafeteria, so it gets knocked around a lot.
mascot says
We have an Arctic Zone expandable lunch pack that came with some ice packs and a few plastic containers. It’s expandable and easy enough to clean. Plus it can hold a decent amount. Check Sams Club or Costco- they usually have some version of it cheaper than what you can find elsewhere.
Anon in NYC says
PlanetBox could be a good option. They’re made out of metal so they’re durable, and he can pick magnets to customize the look. The Rover might be a good size for him.
Tfor22 says
We used a bento-like system called laptop lunches that seems to be called Bentology now. The patterns can be a little jarring (like this emoji one:
https://bentology.com/product/insulated-lunch-sleeve-bento-box-set-emoji/) but I like how you can adjust the containers–using a big one for a sandwich plus the two small ones or the two small plus two larger. Having to fill all of the containers helps us send fruit and vegetables. If you buy a set like the one I linked to you need to buy the sandwich size container separately.
The sets last a really long time. Kiddo doesn’t like the alien bag anymore so I use it (which is a great look for work). Last week I had such a mom lunch using it. I had broccoli slaw in the big container, blueberries in a small one and the remaining small one had a few chicken nuggets that did not fit into the lad’s lunch.
Redux says
Pro Tip, y’all: I cut my 18 month old’s hair yesterday while he peacefully, quietly, and mostly stilly pulled all the dental floss out of the dispenser. Dental floss FTW!!!* He is too little for screens (in that he is not absorbed by them– they are not effective) and I’ve struggled to find something that will keep his attention. So to all y’all needing a tiny toddler to sit still for a few minutes (in the car, on a plane, while you take a phone call, or cut his hair) I commend to you the humble dental floss. *use under supervision, obviously.
Anonymous says
This is a great idea – more portable than the also popular unloading a box of tissues!
Anon says
My 11 month old kid can empty a box of tissues in under 30 seconds. She is a tornado of destruction. Will have to try the dental floss.
avocado says
I used to stuff baby washcloths into an empty tissue box for this purpose.
AnotherAnon says
Sincerely, thank you. Using this next time I would like to go to the bathroom without having someone in my lap.
NewMomAnon says
My cousin’s wife entertained 18 month old kiddo through an entire funeral service with only a roll of scotch tape and some hair binders. Blue painters tape is also awesome.
lawsuited says
We use a tape measure for this. The nice thing is you can hit the button to rewind the measuring tape, and LO can start all over again!
Anon. says
This is awesome. Thank you. We’ve been winning lately with stuffing cotton balls into a large pill bottle. I love new ideas to keep kiddo entertained.
Anon says
Any other minds that feel like your are never going to “have it together” again? Forget having it all, i feel like I’m struggling to just keep things t together!!
With a very verbal and opinionated toddler, daycare drop off and making it to work leaves me exhausted enough to nap. And my commute is 20 minutes by transit :/
And making it to work is ALWAYS walking into a standing meeting (thank you, timezones) that cannot be moved to a later time.
The evening is a repeat of rushing home just in time to relieve the sitter and rushing to get dinner to the table. While DH is an active parent and we trade off on the pickups, drop offs and staying home on daycare holidays, i still always feel overwhelmed and like everything is one logistical miss from everything falling apart.
Advice? Comminseration? What do you do to stay on top of things
lsw says
Commiseration for sure! I am an extrapolator/catastrophizer – when I am stressed, EVERYTHING suddenly becomes of the utmost importance to deal with RIGHT NOW….even the ceiling fan that hasn’t been installed for six months suddenly must be installed tomorrow. I have found it helpful to do a mind dump where I write or type out literally everything I can think of to do. Then I rank – must be done now (which I then go through again and separate into “no, really, must be done now” and “should be done next”), can wait (and I schedule time in my google calendar to either do it or look at it and figure out when), and can wait indefinitely. Then I knock out a few early wins, cross them off, and keep going. Freeing up my mind in this way helps me feel less moment to moment. YMMV but this really helps me slow the roller coaster and focus.
Hang in there. Toddlers are exhausting.
CPA Lady says
How old is your kid? The out of control feeling peaked for me when my kid was in the 2-ish age range and is getting better now that she’s closer to 4. Are balls being dropped or are you just concerned that life is hectic? Because what is happening right now might be what “being on top of things” looks like at this season in your life. Having a little kid and working full time is kind of a grind no matter what systems you have in place, I think.
That said, I’ve found focusing on my mental health helps a lot. I have a bunch of easy and consistent routines, I only make dinners that take 10 minutes to cook (gourmet, they are not), I start putting my kid to bed at 7 p.m. (with a harda$$, CIO-if-necessary routine which generally nips pre-bed stalling in the bud) so she is well rested and I have time to chill, I do a 20 minute workout most nights, I quit drinking, I took up meditating, and I try to be in bed at 9 pm. I feel calmer and more at peace than I have in a long time, even though my day to day has not changed very much. I second the recommendation to write everything down, as part of my frantic feeling was coming from being afraid that things were slipping through the cracks. I also set alarms on my phone for myself as reminders.
NewMomAnon says
A work friend asks one of the daycare teachers to bring her kiddos home once or twice a week and feed them dinner. So at least a couple nights a week, she gets to walk into her house after work, change her clothes, and breathe.
Also – is there any way you can turn your commute into “me” time? Headphones with the Headspace app, or a meditation app, or a fluffy or humorous audio book? Journaling time? Or on the way to work – turn that commute into work time, so you’ve already been “on the clock” for 20 minutes before you walk into the standing meeting? I hate walking into meetings cold.
Alternatively, how bad would it be to show up 5 minutes late to the standing meeting so you could go to your cube/office, put down your lunch, get a coffee, and have a 5 minute “work arrival” ritual each morning? I find that having routines to mark beginnings and endings of things help me mentally transition.
Anon OP says
Thanks for all the suggestions and commiseration :)
@lsw -Lists and calendaring help. And sometimes lead to full-blown panic- the last year has been beyond crazy life-wise (quitting job, international move, finding childcare in the new non-English speaking European country, finding new doctors, finding a new job, husband’s role expanding, my role expanding, family visiting and work and vacation travel) and there are a million things to do
@CPA lady- mine is a little under 3, and so I’m hoping he calms down some and I get it together in a year.
How do you deal with not drinking? I never really drank much, but between Europe and overwhelm, am always down for beer or wine and end up with a ~2-3 glasses a week. Has meditation been logistically hard with a toddler?
@NewMomAnon- Love the idea of commute –> “me” time. I’ve always worked on the train but something fun sounds much better!