What to Do When You Don’t Like Your Kid’s Friends’ Parents

what to do when you don't like your kid's friends' parentsHow do you handle it when you don’t like your kid’s friends’ parents? What about when it’s the other way around — when your kid isn’t exactly fond of the children of your mom friends? In the past we’ve talked about finding mom friends and working moms and playdates (as well as friends with MLM businesses, which can be relevant here too!), but we haven’t really focused on what happens when you don’t like the parents of your kid’s friends (or vice versa).what to do when you don't like your kid's friends' parents

This problem will probably affect you the most when your kids aren’t yet old enough to be dropped off at a playdate or at a friend’s birthday party, because those playdates and parties will mean two or three hours of face-to-face time with another parent.

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Working Moms — and Playdates

Working Moms -- and Playdates | CorporetteMoms2018 Update: We still stand by this discussion on working moms, playdates, and introverts — but you may also want to check out some of our other discussions on mom friends.

As proud mama to a 4.5-year-old, I’m just going to come out and say it: I’m in playdate hell.

To be clear: I like the other moms I meet. I want my kid to be friends with their kids. But I’m tired of arranging playdates — and feeling guilty if I don’t arrange them — and if I’m expected to be at the playdate, I’m tired of worrying if I’m social and happy and likeable enough. (Caveat: I may have general social anxiety issues in addition to being an introvert, but that’s another story for another time.) There’s the added stress of symmetry when trying to arrange these things — for example, in my experience most SAHMs would rather meet for a playdate with the mother, not the nanny. As a working mother, furthermore, setting up a playdate where I show up and supervise necessarily means it’s during my two least favorite times to be obligated: the post-work/pre-sleep period that we still rightfully call “the witching hour” — or the weekend, when it feels like we have a million errands, classes, family fun, and grown-up social obligations as well to juggle around.

I don’t even think it’s a working mom problem — I think all parents feel like this! — but I do think working mothers get the brunt of it because it’s yet another thing on our plates. (Speaking of plates — another source of stress! If you’re hosting you’re supposed to have kid-appropriate food and a vaguely tidy house! To be honest I haven’t brought food to any playdates we’ve been to, but perhaps I should be? See, more stress.)

Ladies, what are your thoughts? Do you feel stress regarding playdates — and do you think your status as a working mother increases your stress?

Pictured: I’ve actually read this book, though long ago — it was funny! Clearly I need to give it a reread. 

Etiquette Fun: Friends with MLM Businesses

Friends with MLM Businesses2018 Update: We still think this is a great discussion about friends with MLM businesses — but you may also want to check out some of our more recent discussions on mom friends.

Do you have any close friends taking part in MLM businesses like Younique, Rodan + Fields, Beachbody coaching, or more? Are you doing it yourself, or would you consider it? Do you get annoyed when you meet a new person through a mommy group or kids’ activity and she immediately starts blasting you with suggestions to buy products, sign up for coaching, or come to what amounts to a Tupperware party?

I’m not sure if every woman, in every stage of her life, has friends with MLM businesses, but it certainly feels like the list of such acquaintances explodes once you hit the age range where many friends have babies and small kids. I see a lot of readers here and at Corporette expressing what I also feel, which is to eye every new program (and friend involved) with skepticism.

Part of it is the public nature of MLM businesses — it seems to be the modus operandi to blast your personal FB page and everyone in it. I’ve even been placed in a separate Facebook group for someone’s business (which I didn’t even know you could do). On the flip side, I have heard some customers really singing the praises of certain products, always caveating it with something like, “I don’t normally like these things, BUT… my skin has never looked better! / the mascara IS amazing! / I’ve lost 15 lbs!”

So let’s discuss, ladies — how do you view these companies, and friends working for the companies? Do you buy products just to be nice, or have you become a devotee of anything? What are the biggest pros and cons that you see to this phenomenon?

Psst: how to secretly unfollow people on Facebook so you “stay friends” but don’t see their blasts in your newsfeed.

Pictured

Have You Sought Out New Mom Friends?

Working Mothers and Mom Friends

2018 Update: We still stand by this older conversation about finding mom friends once you become a mom — but you may also want to check out some of our newer discussions, such as about playdate etiquette for introverts or how to deal when you don’t like your kid’s friends’ parents

How are you doing on your mom friendships? One of my best friends, who was now a SAHM, asked me that question when both of our kids were about 6 months old. She had actively been trying to make friends with neighborhood moms at the playgrounds and local gym classes, both to schedule playdates and build a support system. Some of the friendships, she found, were kind of forced; others were going well.

My response: huh? I had friends. Some of them were moms. Why did I need local mom friends — new friends where the only thing we had in common was locality and the fact that we got pregnant around the same time? If a friendship happened naturally, great, but I wasn’t going to seek it out (and I certainly wasn’t going to try to force it). In addition to being a lifelong introvert, my reasoning at the time was that she was a SAHM and needed a support system and a schedule — as a WAHM mom I already had a schedule, and I preferred to spend my limited kid-time either focused on the kid or as a family. Besides, I figured, mom friends would come about naturally once my child started making friends.

I’ve thought a lot about that conversation, though, and am curious what other working moms have done. Did you prioritize finding new “mom friends,” even if just for maternity leave? (Have you kept in touch after you went back to work?) Have you naturally made new mom friends? For those readers with older kids, have your mom friendships changed through the years?

Pictured: Onehundred and fiftythree, originally uploaded to Flickr by Roxanne Milward.