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If you have a little kid who likes Legos or any other toy that has a zillion little pieces that get all over the floor, you might like this bag. We got a bag like this in an attempt to corral the Legos because you can just pick it up and take it away. (It does work as intended, although I haven’t entirely succeeded in getting my 5-year-old to use it.) We bought two of these at Amazon and one of them shipped from China and took four weeks to get here (and they wouldn’t respond when we tried to cancel), so if you need it sooner than four weeks, make sure that you pay attention when you’re at the checkout screen. AVAWO Play Mat and Toy Storage Bag This post contains affiliate links and CorporetteMoms may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Anon says
This is one of those kid-items that looks cool in concept, but I feel like in practice it would never work as intended and just end up as a messy ball of fabric in the corner. If your kids are good enough to keep all the Legos on the mat, aren’t they good enough to just… put them back in the bin/ container? And why is a ball of fabric easier to store than just a bucket?
Every time I see this, I think “oh cool!!!”, and then I think about when/ how we’d use it, and it just doesn’t make logical sense to me.
mascot says
Lego storage is tricky. You can’t just ball up half finished creations. We’ve converted the train table into a Lego table and it works for building and storing mid-build, except a bunch of other stuff gets piled on top of it. I got really Pinterest motivated and sorted all the Legos by size into these divided tool boxes thinking it would make it easier for my 6 year old to find what he needs and give him more space because there aren’t piles of pieces. Turns out he doesn’t like it and isn’t as interested in playing with the Legos now. I think we need to move back to a big mixed bin that he can dig through.
In House Lobbyist says
I know what you mean! I tried organizing the legos by color and my son hated it. He promptly mixed them all back up together so I just roll with it now even though it goes against my type A-ness.
EP-er says
We actually have one of these from a different company. I had a denim one with a red drawstring when I was little, so not a new concept. We like it becasue we store most of the Lego pieces in IKEA bins. You can dump out on to here, find the pieces you are looking for, and build. When you are done, we just dump back into the bin. We actually use this for other toys that have a ton of little pieces — like when we would play with the bean box. Make clean up so much easier!
Meg Murry says
I think this kind of thing works best when you pair it with a plan on how to use it, like installing sturdy hooks on the wall that the drawstring can be hooked to, so that there is a place to put the mat away.
I’ve liked the idea of this product but never actually bought it because I think it wouldn’t get used regularly. One thing that my kids will do though is let me spread a white sheet on the floor to dump their legos out onto – it is soooo much easier to pick tiny Legos off of a smooth sheet than off a rug or shaggy carpet (or to miss some and discover them when you step on them).
Cb says
My mom is coming for a visit at the end of the month (when I’ll be 32 weeks) and wants me to put her to work with baby and house stuff. I think she’s feeling a bit left out living so far away and wants to do something tangible (she’s not a spa day and manicure type at all). I’ve got a midwife appointment that week so she’ll be able to come along and hear the heartbeat on the doppler.
I’m completely heads down with work at the moment and am so, so appreciative of the help but am not sure what would be most helpful and fun for her?
I suspect she’s going to arrive with loads of baby clothes so organising these + hand-me-downs I’ve collected, but what else? We have a tiny European fridge freezer so batch cooking is probably a no go. Baby will be in with us for the first year so we aren’t decorating a nursery.
avocado says
She can assemble all the baby gear and, if this service is available where you live, take the car seat for an installation check. In the US you can usually do this at the local fire station or police station. She can also pre-wash baby clothes and linens.
anne-on says
Can you ask her to take care of some spring cleaning/deep cleaning you can’t do yourself? Like washing curtains, vacuuming mattresses, cleaning out the fridge/freezer, etc.? Otherwise +1 on washing/folding/organizing all the baby clothing, that can take forever. I’d also ask her to help you address thank you notes for any baby gifts you’ve already gotten, assemble baby gear/furniture, and maybe start a baby book/shadow box for you to add notes to?
Is there anything she can automate for you now, like a laundry service, food delivery, etc.?
Anon says
Are you having/ had a shower or do you have a registry? She could help you write the thank yous, make sure you’ve got everything you want on your registry, help come up with storage solutions, etc.
She can sterilize any bottles for you.
She can buy and install outlet covers on every outlet in your home.
She can help you research college savings plans if you’re in the US.
She can do a deep clean of the house – shampoo carpets, wash walls, wash drapery, etc – all that stuff you won’t have time for in the next 4+ years.
She can buy and assemble your go-bag for the hospital, maybe get you a nice comfy outfit for receiving visitors.
If you have storage space, she can stock you up on the essentials like toilet paper and paper towels and make sure all your medicine cabinet is up to date.
She can help you go through your wardrobe and pare down. Get rid of anything work-related that won’t feel fresh to you when you go back. Get rid of anything that doesn’t fit now. Identify outfits that will be good for lounging around the house, meeting friends, going back to work. This also might be a great time to create a mini-capsule for those first 3 months post partum, so you don’t have to think about clothes, just grab and go.
Cb says
Such good ideas – thanks for that list. No shower or registry (not really a done thing here) but definitely some things on there she can help with. I’ve been sending her things to research as she’s really good at it and that has been really helpful.
My dad is coming to be nanny when I go back to work so I think she’s feeling a bit superfluous at the moment – I don’t want to give her busy work but I do want her to feel like she’s needed and involved.
just Karen says
Hooray for granddad as nanny! I am so happy your family is able to do that!
Cb says
It’s so cool! He is thrilled and it is such a huge weight off our shoulders.
Sarabeth says
Awe, my dad is also our nanny! It’s the best.
Meg Murry says
What about putting together a recipe binder with easy meals and shopping lists for them?
Any tasks that you’ve wanted to have done that need to have someone at home to meet the service person that you could arrange for that week (plumbing, etc) since she could be there?
If she and your father still together (or still on good terms) what about making sure everything is ready for his visit – sheets for guest bed & spare towels, stock his favorite toiletries so he doesn’t have to pack them, etc? Or just ask her to pay attention to what things you don’t currently have for long term guests (perhaps a reading light for the bedroom, etc) and just make them appear?
Even if you have a tiny fridge or freezer, having her make one batch of her specialty that freezer well and then freezing it in single size portions would be helpful (and wouldn’t take up much room if it’s frozen flat in ziploc storage bags or small containers and then stacked). Or if you have pantry space, stocking up on basics like pasta + jarred sauce, oatmeal, flour & sugar, etc. If your pantry is anything like mine – going through it and pitching anything expired and replacing it (if it’s something you will use, like baking soda, not the one-off things you bought and forgot about).
anne-on says
The hospital go bag one is a great idea – its my go-to baby shower gift for close friends/family – a huge LLBean boat/tote bag stocked up for the hospital that they can just grab and not have to worry about packing themselves.
just Karen says
I love that you do this, it is an awesome gift idea.
Anonymous says
What about a recipe book? Like easy recipes that you can make when she’s gone? Or do up mason jars with ingredients so that you just have to add fresh ingredients? I’ve seen this for cookies and soups. Maybe look up good lactation cookie recipes and taste test a few in advance of baby?
Have you thought about adding a small freezer in the basement? I was mystifying about European kitchens until I discovered my in-laws had dry goods on shelving in the basement and a small freezer. Do you have any neightbors/friends with a large freezer? I would happily lend freezer space for a friend whose mom was visiting from far away.
Non food idea = record your mom singing different baby songs and lullabies (Rock a bye baby, wheels on the bus, farmer in the dell etc etc). Then you can play them for baby when she’s gone. Babies love music.
mascot says
These are all really good ideas.
I’d probably hold off on any baby-proofing. You are pretty far out from needing that and you don’t want to spend the next 8 months swearing at outlet covers.
Cb says
I might hold babyproofing for their Christmas task. We are not “sit around and chat people” unlike my husband’s family.
Blueberry says
Man these are good ideas. One idea inspired by these is she could create a baby first aid/toiletry kit. Maybe look up online what the essentials are — e.g. thermometer, baby ibuprofen and acetaminophen, nail clippers, etc.?
If she’s a researcher, you could set her to find the best [x] for you. I know we spent hours researching strollers, carseats, you-name-it. Although this isn’t really something she needs to be in your physical location to do…
Pogo says
Sorry to threadjack but this made me think – I had planned to get a temporal thermometer. But then a friend told me that her pediatrician won’t really accept that value; she’ll ask for the rectal thermometer reading instead.
Basically… do I need both/is a rectal thermometer the gold standard? I originally went with temporal because an MD friend suggested it!
mascot says
Rectal is the gold standard for infants so you should have one on hand. Even slight fluctuations can be a big deal in little babies. Temporal ones are good later on when the child is older and you’ll see them a lot in the pedicatrician’s office.
Momata says
This seems counterintuitive, but for babies and young toddlers I find the rectal easier to use. They won’t hold still enough for the ear one and I can’t get a good read on the forehead scanner.
Blueberry says
Rectal is what I’ve always read and been told. That said, I’m not quite sure what I’d do if my baby started running what seemed to be a very high fever, because I have never been very good at taking their temps once they start squirming powerfully. Maybe get both — a rectal thermometer is pretty cheap, and it’s always better to have one when you need it than have to run out in the middle of the night (ask me how I know).
Anon says
If you already know your pediatrician, call them and ask. Mine said using an under-the-arm thermometer was fine, you just add a degree to get the real temp – if we called, just tell them our method and whether we had already adjusted it. (“Doc, baby has a 103 fever – it was 102.1 under the arm.”) They actually advise against a rectal temp at home, because the risk of hurting the baby is great, and if it’s bad enough to bring in, they (or the ER) would get a second reading anyway. Under-the-arm was directionally correct to tell you whether it was serious or not.
Anonymous says
I’ve always done underarm for my babies. Children’s hospital uses rectal but they told us they prefer parents not use rectal because of the danger of internal damage with an inexperienced user and wiggly baby. What’s considered a ‘fever’ varies based on how you take the temperature as well.
Anon in NYC says
Get a rectal thermometer. I have an ear one that I use for quick checks (but always add a ~1 degree to the reading), and a rectal thermometer for a more accurate temp reading. My ped asks for a rectal temp.
Pogo says
Thanks everyone – sounds like an “ask your ped” thing. Which is on my list of things to do now!
SBJ says
Agree that underarm is totally fine-it’s what the nursery used on our early baby for routine temp monitoring and both pediatric practices we’ve used are fine with underarm. We also have a rectal that I’ll use occasionally when I’m feeling like I want a better read (may or may not have happened this morning…). We have the Vicks one, which has a pretty idiot-proof design. I’ve never been worried about causing any internal damage using it plus a spot of Vaseline. But really, underarm is totally fine!
Katarina says
I have always done underarm (using the free thermometer from the hospital). The Children’s hospital and regular hospital both used underarm. I did buy a special rectal thermometer, but have never used it. I never bought a temporal because I heard they were not accurate, although our pediatrician uses one, so I assume they are not that bad.
Jen says
I’m 3 kids in. I have a rectal and an ear. Ear is for the older ones and also to confirm my gut check that a fever does in fact exist- of that is reading 100 I know there’s a fever. If I need to get specific, I use the recital with the infant. Ear is just so easy. I had temporal one but it was so, so inconsistent.
Maddie Ross says
Wash/fold/organize baby clothes, towels, blankets, etc. Sort baby clothes by size. My mom did that and labeled everything and it was awesome.
Anonymous says
More things I wish I could get done around the house (with an 18 month old):
Move all the garbage cans, scrub them and their cabinets.
Vacuum all the drawers.
Clean the oven
Clean the windows.
Switch out my cold weather / warm weather clothes.
Clean windows.
Organize my hall closet.
Best storage tip ever: future baby clothes can go in sweater bags under your couch! You need 3″ bags probably (I got them at Container Store). It was the only bit of real estate in our apartment that wasn’t spoken for!
Also, I’d say babyproof the outlets anyway. Some babies learn to crawl suddenly.
Rainbow Hair says
I was pregnant away from my mom, and she wanted to come and be included, so stuff we did was:
– shopping for maternity/nursing clothes (idk if that will feel worthwhile, but I think my mom really wanted to enjoy the ‘my daughter is pregnant!!!’ thing and what better way than maternity shopping?!)
– washing and organizing baby clothes
– so much cleaning
SC says
My parents came and helped me for a week while I was on bed rest, and I ended up going into labor the day before they were going to leave, so they stayed an extra week after Baby was born.
Do you have any big projects you haven’t gotten around to? One of the most helpful things they did was redoing my laundry room. My dad painted the walls and trim, they bought a stacking kit and stacked the washer/drier, they called the plumber to hook the gas back up, and they bought and assembled a large cabinet for storage. In retrospect, they were right that the old laundry room setup would not have worked post-baby.
They came the weekend of my baby shower, so they also unpacked everything, assembled furniture (including the crib) and other baby items, pre-washed all the baby stuff, and made returns. My mom bought some stuff I wanted with my gift cards and return credits.
And they picked up a rug and curtains (which I bought online but didn’t want to pay shipping for) from Pottery Barn and also hung the curtains.
Ai says
Prewashing and folding all the baby clothes would be huge.
Pogo says
Piggybacking on the above, I am in the suburbs and have an entire second full size fridge/freezer (yes, the privilege!!)
For the first month my parents are getting us Blue Apron and they’ll cook all the meals for us – which is a really cute idea and I love it. But I’m sure having some frozen casseroles etc will be great too.
What were some make ahead/freezer meals that worked well for you for when baby comes?
avocado says
Smitten Kitchen baked ziti
Butter chicken from Cooking for Kiwi and Bean
Cooking Light white chicken pizzas
Rick Bayless’s tinga recipe (written for pork but I use chicken thighs)
Freezer meals can get heavy, so have a helper pick up bagged salads, crudite trays, and precut fresh fruit.
Blueberry says
A bunch of slow-cooked ragu to add to unfreeze for pastas or lasagna — yum.
Chili and other soups.
Cb says
Haha! So jealous of your suburban privilege – I have the washer and dryer in the second bedroom because there is only room for a washer or a dishwasher in the kitchen. I can’t bear to think about how this will work once we move baby into their own room – I think we’ll be moving into the tiny room.
Butter says
A family member made a huge batch of wraps with veggies and tahini or some amazing sauce, all individually wrapped and bagged to freeze. They were AMAZING. Hand held, could be microwaved or just thawed on the counter, and were healthy. We ate them for months afterwards and I still miss them.
Also oatmeal cookies. In the name of lactation I ate many many oatmeal cookies, and it would have been nice to have batches of homemade frozen to just thaw out.
Meg Murry says
Along the same lines, I make and individually freeze burritos for quick one-handed meals. Normal sized burritos, not chipotle style. I do both breakfast burritos (scrambled egg + cheese, then add black bean, bacon, sausage, potatoes, etc whatever you like) and lunch/dinner burritos. This is a good freezeable burrito recipe – I typically make the meat portion in double or triple the quantity and then freeze additional of that as well in small portions. http://www.ohsweetbasil.com/freezer-meal-beef-and-bean-burrito-recipe/
Instead of freezing entire meals, you can also just cook and freeze the parts that take the most time to cook – the chicken so you can just toss it in a stir fry or on a salad, meatballs or mini-meatloaves, etc.
In addition, you can also freeze all kinds of things into silicone cupcake liners to make individual servings, like steel cut oats, rice, quinoa, etc.
Blue Apron for dinner is a good idea, but if you are going to be home on maternity leave by yourself (or have guests) you’ll want easy breakfast and lunch food that isn’t just cereal and sandwiches.
Anonymous says
Quiches or breakfast foods. I was SO HUNGRY after being up all night, nursing the baby, and when someone brought a broccoli quiche, it was my favorite. Then I turned to pop tarts and ate my weight in sugar (not a good plan). Frozen lunches or dinners are great, but I was always starving in the morning and didn’t have the energy to cook.
Em says
Hahaha we too have the suburban privilege of a second fridge/freezer. It is hideous as all get-out and almost as old as I am, but we got it for free by trading a friend of my husband’s for an 18 pack of Busch Light and agreeing to pick it up. It was a savior when our 2 year old main fridge/freezer stopped working out of nowhere and I was able to save my BM stash (almost 200 ounces) by moving it to the other freezer.
anne-on says
Frozen muffins, or quiches. I was always STARVING in the morning. Anything remotely healthy would also be great, soups or stews that are veggie heavy would be nice. Heck, I’d settle for family bringing me frozen trader joes Indian meals if I didn’t have to cook postpartum.
Florida baby says
yes to frozen muffins. Easy to pop in microwave and eat one handed. The one nesting thing I did was make a bunch of batches of a healthy lactation muffin and was sooo thankful I did.
anon says
Recipe?
Florida baby says
so yummy too — http://www.loveandzest.com/pump-up-your-milk-pumpkin-chocolate-chip-lactation-muffins/
Anonymous says
Chili. Goulash (don’t freeze the noodles, obvs). Breakfast sandwiches. Ragu. Individual portions of lasagna. Muffins. Pasta sauce. Ratatouille (which baby loves to eat!) Pre-made hamburger patties. Meatloaf muffins. Roasted veggies and fruit (another baby food go-to). Smoothie making stuff. All the frozen veggies you like.
You can also freeze cooked grains in reasonable portions which makes dinners super fast (cooked rice, quinoa, barley, farro, etc.) since you can cook meat and a veg in 10-15 minutes tops.
Just get yourself a child freezer lock NOW! I filled our tiny freezer with food and my husband left the freezer door open while I was at the hospital (he also left his work computer in a cab and broke a lamp, so it was really hard to be mad at him).
Pogo says
Thank you everyone! Saving all these recs in a word document :)
avocado says
I have been sick for the past two weeks with what turned into pneumonia. I have made what I consider heroic efforts to make sure that critical tasks are still getting done at work, including going in to the office to give a board presentation and handle a critical client meeting with a 102-degree fever, drafting a proposal, and responding to numerous inquiries from a problem client. Although most of my colleagues have been understanding, one particular senior colleague has been treating my illness as a performance problem. Examples:
-“That proposal you wrote [while I had a high fever, hadn’t slept in three days, and couldn’t breathe] was really weak. We had to clean up a lot of problems before we submitted it.”
– “Why haven’t you scheduled that meeting with the client yet? You are creating problems for me because the client wants it scheduled right away and is unhappy.”
– Demanding that I respond personally and instantaneously to all inquiries from aforementioned problem client because “I can’t understand anything you have done on this project. Your files are a mess.”
– Repeatedly cc’ing our mutual boss on e-mails and text messages and demanding that I acknowledge receipt.
This guy has been an ongoing problem for me over the past couple of years and I suspect he may be trying to push me out, although I don’t know what good that would do him because he can’t or won’t work with anyone else in the division. Any suggestions for handling him when I return to the office next week? I could just ignore it and hope it blows over, but this behavior is so outrageous that I think it needs to be addressed head on.
Anon in NYC says
Ugh! You have my sympathy, and I hope you feel better soon. Is this person senior to you? My first thought is that you need to discuss this with your boss.
avocado says
Yes, he is senior to me but we both report to the same boss. To make things even more fun, I just got an e-mail from him saying that we need to discuss my problems meeting expectations and deadlines when I return to the office. Definitely time to bring the boss in.
just Karen says
Yes – it sounds like you already know this, but just want to throw in support for you bringing in your boss on this. He is being completely unreasonable, you have been a total badass working through your illness, and while I don’t expect a jerk to recognize what lengths you have gone to to help keep things going smoothly, the meeting re: your problem meeting expectations and deadlines WITH PNEUMONIA is insane and you can’t ignore it without risking compromising your good standing.
Pogo says
+1
Also, my guess is this guy is generally unreasonable/tough to work with? I would advise responding to all of this cr@p from him very neutrally and respectfully, because guys like this tend to go off on the slightest thing. Assuming you are a stellar employee the rest of the time, your mutual boss should put 2 and 2 together and see what happened. I would not engage, just keep your head down and do your best.
anne-on says
To quote ELLEN, what a DOOOSH.
If this person is not your superior, and you have a supportive boss, document, go to your boss calmly with your complaints, and ask him to handle. And then make him run interference. Ideally, try to get this guy to work with someone else in the office.
Lurker says
I’ve heard advice before to not make heroic efforts to get stuff done. Rather, say you are unable to do it. Your boss is less likely to remember the things you couldn’t do while out with pneumonia but will remember the stuff you messed up trying to do while out with pneumonia. I think you have to treat it like you are in a coma instead. Tell them to figure it out or reschedule and stop working on it.
Anon says
Yes, this. Also you need to say loudly and often “I have pneumonia and I feel like s–t.” This is what I do with ny husband to get him to pull more weight. Don’t downplay it, dont tough it out, dont assume he will get hints. Declare yourself too sick to work and act accordingly.
Hope you feel better soon!
Anon says
I’ll be the voice of dissent and say you cant have it both ways. If you are battling pneumonia, do you not owe it to yourself to fully take some time off? Working while being seriously ill really sends the message that either you aren’t seriously ill. You chose to work through it and some partners aren’t happy with the quality of work.
avocado says
I do think I have brought this on myself to some degree. I thought I had made it clear the first week that I would only be doing a specific set of critical things (board meeting, client meeting, proposal). Then the second week, after it turned into pneumonia, I sent an e-mail saying I would not be working and they were on their own. This is what led to the “Please confirm receipt” demands cc’d to the boss. I tried pushing back on those requests but was unsuccessful.
Anonymous says
Do you have the option for an out of office aut0-response that says, “Thank you for your email. I am sick and cannot respond to email. With urgent issues, please contact reception.”? That might help next time.
Pogo says
This is good advice, but so hard in principle when you’re an overachieving type A. I’m guilty as well of coming into work with a fever, while pregnant, to give a presentation to management. I don’t even remember it, probably because I was delirious. I’m sure it was not my best work.
Also, for a chuckle – I once worked the afternoon after a knee surgery while high on narcotics. I wrote an entire contract with the word “costumer” instead of “customer”. The best part is NO ONE else noticed. I did fix it before it was fully executed.
There’s always pressure, real or perceived, to work while sick. It is a good point that you need to stand up and take the time off and not do subpar work if that’s in any way an option.
EB0220 says
I tend to agree with this. The problem is, if you try to work even a little, your work product will be judge on the same standard as usual even if it takes you 200% of the usual effort.
rakma says
Just a vent to people who may understand: I’ve been completely underestimating the amount of time it should take me to accomplish tasks, and because of this I’m scheduling too much into a day. By 11am I’ve taken DD2 to a doctor’s appt, helped fit DD1’s helmet so she can roller skate (ok, that one was thrown at me when I dropped the baby off at home) dealt with a major work fire, and oh, maybe I should eat something. I still have to pump, get the major work task I planned for today done, and get gas or I’ll strand myself on the way home.
I’m pretty sure this is just the new normal, and a phase, and all of that, but OMG right now I just want a cocktail and nap.
NewMomAnon says
Ugh, right there with you. I came to the realization recently that I do not have the capacity I thought I had, and it’s making me really sad. I had thought I was being underused at work and just lazy with housework, so I added an art class…and it’s kicking my butt. Turns out I was right at the edge of my capacity before the art class.
I take it as somewhat freeing though. I now know that when I say no to an engagement, it’s because I actually don’t have time for it, not because I’m being a “bad friend” or a “bad employee” or whatever. If it feels like the answer should be no, that’s probably correct.
lsw says
“If it feels like the answer should be no, that’s probably correct.” — this articulates something I’ve been trying to come to terms with as a habitual over-extender. Gonna keep this in my arsenal.
rakma says
I was doing pretty good at saying no, and I do feel like everything I’m committed to right now is high priority and where I want to be spending my time, but man, less things like doctors visits and more butt in seat at work time would probably help me out right now.
CPA Lady says
This is kind of random, but up until about two months ago I have always been one of those people who gets gas only after the little light comes on.
But then I realized that my favorite gas station is right by the donut restaurant I like, so I get gas every Saturday morning when I run and pick up coffee and donuts for my family. That way I’m doing it at a calm time, the gas tank is never even close to empty, and I never have to frantically wedge a trip to the gas station in on an already hectic day.
rakma says
That sounds like magic. :)
I usually get gas on the way into work, but I’ve been adding other errands before work while saying ‘I’ll get gas tomorrow’.
I don’t like to get below a quarter tank, but I’m playing chicken with the gas light today.
Anon says
Yes! I make a solo Costco run on Saturday mornings and always fill-up with gat at the Costco too. Total game changer. Just wished Costco would open up earlier!
anne-on says
I swear I would join Costco if they opened up at 6am. Me and the other sleep deprived parents would happily show up and make the rest of Saturday that much easier for the rest of their customers ;)
EB0220 says
Yeah, I was always like this too. I started checking my tank when I’m running a few minutes early to work and I fill up if I’m at 1/4 tank or less. It really makes a huge difference.
Rainbow Hair says
Oh no am I the only person whose strategy is “wait for husband to fill tank”? I don’t feel awesome about that, but I do enjoy never pumping gas.
mascot says
I loved that strategy until the time I asked husband to fill up tank on the way to an errand. He subsequently got into a fender bender that did a shocking amount of damage to my car. Karma?
Gift ideas request says
Looking for ideas for gifts under $30 for a two and a half year old.
NewMomAnon says
Fancy bubble blower or play-dough kit (some of them are for kids under three).
Anon says
art supplies! especially if it isn’t your child – parents appreciate things that don’t just sit around, and special crayons and drawing pads and stickers are the best for this.
Pigpen's Mama says
Tub toys from Boon — Cogs, Pipes, and Fleet are our favorites.
http://booninc.com/categories/bath
Also on Amazon and at Babies R Us stores.
anon says
CAT Tough Trucks line of construction vehicle toys are great and affordable. Green Toys brand vehicles are also great for indoor and outdoor use. Sand toys in general are great at this age.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=64574496&gclid=Cj0KEQjwoqvIBRD6ls6og8qB77YBEiQAcqqHex57A357clMKUzbYGAZW_ry1k7smEvHm4QKcxE6XTXUaAlzi8P8HAQ&camp=PLAPPCG-_-PID21371720:TRUS&cagpspn=plat_21371720&eESource=CAPLA_DF:64574496:TRUS
TK says
little tk would tell you than his dinosaur umbrella with matching rain boots are the best gift he’s ever received.
Rainbow Hair says
Depending on the parents, of course…
I would love it if my kiddo (about 2.25 y.o.) were gifted art supplies. Like, glitter, different kinds of paint, one of those easels that holds butcher paper?!, markers, stickers, paper, etc. But I have a high tolerance for mess/a big driveway in the front yard. Kiddo is also super into mixing/pouring/dumping. So like, measuring cups and a funnel and a dishwashing basin would be amazing.
Maddie Ross says
If you think they’re not high tolerance for mess, the Crayola paper and marker sets where it uses water (or some weird unknown chemical) and the color just appears but it doesn’t get on anything are awesome. They are also great for travel.
Anonymous says
It’s melissa and doug, and it’s these — https://www.amazon.com/Melissa-Doug-Water-Activity-3-Pack/dp/B00CPHX9JK/ref=sr_1_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1493922462&sr=1-1-spons&keywords=melissa+and+doug+water+wow&psc=1
They have lots of varieties. They are FANTASTIC.
anon says
I think Maddie Ross means the Color Wonder products. Melissa and Doug water wow are also great though.
Maddie Ross says
Yup, Color Wonder was what I was talking about. But Water Wows are also awesome.
Meg Murry says
OMG, please do NOT buy my children glitter unless you want me to hate you for the rest of my life :-) Paint would also make me pretty grumpy. Paper and washable crayons and perhaps some stickers would be highly appreciated though.
That kind of gift is definitely a “know your friend” type of thing. But I would 100% make glitter disappear before my kids could get their hands on it and spread it through the whole house. I may suffer from a bit of trauma from the great glitter fight of 1990 when I was in elementary school that resulted in me picking glitter off my scalp and out of my belongings for literally 6+ months.
Anonymous says
I agree. I do a couple of glitter projects with my kids, but it is on LOCK DOWN.
Acceptable glitter for gifting: The Melissa and Doug Mess Free Glitter sets and glitter glue.
Rainbow Hair says
Oh my goodness I will not tell y’all how my daughter and I collaborated on making glitter shoes for her! …or about the time I played in a kiddy pool that was literally full of glitter.
SC says
My kid’s favorite thing in the world right now are the Crayola bathtub crayons. He begs us to take his bath so he can play with them.
Tired Mommy says
I’d love to hear everyone’s methods for organizing printed photographs. I have a great system to organize all digital photos (with backups) but I am stuck on how to get it together for my printed photos. Right now, I am stick them in a drawer and forget about them, but I would like to create a system to actually organize the photos we have, get print copies of the really special digital photos, and actually hang some on the wall or put in frames around the house.
avocado says
I put our printed wedding photos into an album and organized the rest of our old printed photos in rough chronological order in those cardboard photo storage boxes from Michael’s. I did not bother putting them into albums. Every couple of years we will get the boxes out looking for a particular photo to show our kid (look, Mommy and Daddy really were children once!). Otherwise we don’t really see a need to bother putting them in albums.
Now I never print a photo unless I am going to frame it immediately, put it straight into the kid’s scrapbook (I do Shutterfly photo books for the family albums but the kid has a scrapbook with theatre and concert programs, award certificates, sports memorabilia, etc.), or send it to school for an assignment.
Anon says
Please share your great digital system!!!
Tired Mommy says
I sit down every 3-4 months and download all photos from my phone and camera onto our laptop and sort them into folders based on year and subfolders based on months. If there is a special event I will create a separate subfolder for that. We have amazon prime, so the laptop backs up to amazon photo cloud. I also ask husband to email any great photos he has on his phone to be emailed to me. I save any photos I want to keep posted by my mom or MIL on facebook directly to my phone so that they will be captured with the regular phone updates. I also save all daycare photos from my email to these folders, although that is on a more ad hoc basis and I fall behind because they send so many pictures! I create a yearly photo book, so when it comes time to start, I just upload all the photos to shutterfly directly from the subfolders (which also serves as another cloud backup). For what its worth, I spend zero time editing which photos I keep or delete.
Anonymous says
I use a very similar method with periodic download to monthly folders within a year folder.
Once a year, I review them and make a calendar ~November and a photo album in January (when the holidays chill out but it’s still fresh). I always plan to work on it in batches when I manage the photos, but it hasn’t happened yet.
I only make prints when I have a plan for them: an empty frame, or (more commonly) sending to family. The school photos are in a folder in the filing cabinet, aka “archived”. lol. We don’t do anything with them, but we want to have them in the future.
shortperson says
i order a big photo album that begins/ends every september. i dont get fancy w the layout and it takes me months, often most of the year, to get it done, but it’s worth the effort. each year it probably takes me ~20-30 hours, but this includes picking out our best pictures, etc., which is probably stuff you already do. with a job in biglaw there are many things I Just Don’t Do, but printed photo albums are really important to me. you can just take the ones you get printed, have them autoloaded into an album, and review and not tinker much. i also copy the album and make another copy for my daughter, taking out pages she wont care about (ie trips without her), adding some extra photos and lots more texts. she’s just starting to be into albums and she loves these.
i use photobook america bc the quality is pretty good. i tried shutterfly and snapfish and i thought the quality was too low to reflect the amount of effort i put into it.
i am also interested in your digital system, my photos are not sufficiently backed up.
NewMomAnon says
For a digital system – my phone automatically backs up to my Shutterfly app, which has some automatic organization (month-by-month, year-by-year). I think it also backs up to Dropbox, which makes it easier to share the photo file.
I don’t print pictures unless I’m going to put them in my daughter’s photo album or frame them. I do, however, order printed photo books for my daughter whenever I feel like it/have a coupon from Shutterfly. She loves them and I can send one to school for the sad daycare drop off days.
Sabba says
I use Dropbox to back up all digital photos, and we have a Shutterfly share site for digital photos. I create a new album on the Shutterfly site every season, and usually end up with about 75 pictures in each album. So I’m uploading 2 or 3 photos every 2 or 3 days. At the end of the year, I just order photo books and calendars from the Shutterfly albums. I think this is one of those tasks that can be daunting if you don’t work on it a few times a week. I also think it is best to let go of the past, be honest with what system would work best for you TODAY, and then just start using that system RIGHT NOW. Just do something that will work for you even if it isn’t perfect. Because if you try to go back and figure out to organize years of old photos, it is never going to happen.
Anon says
1) Digitally – everything is on Google Photos.
2) Printed (frames) – in the Spring, I print out a nice recent picture of the kids. Fill in frames. In the fall, I print out a nice recent picture of the whole family (and/ or schedule a mini session with a local photog) and fill in frames. Done.
3) Printed (other) – I make a family yearbook with about 120-ish photos from the year, trying to pick the top 10 from each month. I put each month’s pics on a 2 page spread, for ~24 pages total, with maybe an extra page here and there for a big vacation or milestone. I print a copy for us and one for each kid. I do this at work during the slow week between Christmas and New Years. It takes about 4-8 hours to do depending on how fancy I want to get.
The end.
lsw says
Please forgive me yet another pumping/BFing question. My son will be 10 months next week. He’s still drinking two 4-5 oz bottles while I’m gone, though I’ve started pumping only once a day. Sometimes I’ll get 9-10 oz which covers what he drinks, sometimes I will only get 6-7. Last night, I had a work event late, and he drank 3 bottles while I was gone, and I only pumped 6 oz. I *think* there’s enough in the freezer to cover anything extra for the next two months, but after 9 months of being paranoid to always pump to cover a missed feed, I can’t stop worrying about it. I considered going through the freezer and counting all the bags to give myself some piece of mind. I am worried that my supply will dip since I’m not pumping to replace all feedings, and that that will affect him getting enough when he nurses (currently around 6 pm and/or 8 pm, 11 pm, 7 am during the week). Has anyone dropped pump sessions like that and still managed to keep up with nursing needs at home? I remember several women saying that you have stopped pumping at work altogether and maintained a nursing relationship beyond that. My hope is to get to one year of EBF.
mascot says
At 10+ months, can you start making up any shortfalls with whole milk assuming no allergies? Especially if you think you have enough of a stash to say get to 11 months. It would take some pressure off and you wouldn’t have to fool with figuring out formula preferences.
Anon in NYC says
Agreed. My ped said that we could start introducing whole milk at 10 months, so I would recommend that if you need to make up any shortfall (just start with 1 oz).
I also had hoped to get to 1 year EBF and started struggling with supply at around 10-11 months, and didn’t really want to introduce milk that early but was also unwilling to experiment to find a formula that my daughter would eat (I figured it would be a costly endeavor for a very short period of time, since I planned to phase out bottles at 1 year anyway). Milk was the easier choice for me, and it was fine – no adverse effects for my LO.
lsw says
Thank you – I feel similarly about not wanting to deal with the hassle of finding a formula at this late point. It’s good to know that if we start to get stretched closer to 12 months, whole milk can be a good option earlier. Especially mixing, I hadn’t thought about that.
AnonMN says
This is what I did. worked through my stash from 9-11 months. Started introducing whole milk around 10.5 months. I did this with both of my boys and still maintained nursing at night and in the morning. They were both really good solid eaters as well, so that helped.
I did count my stash ounces at one point, to ensure it would get me to 11 months. It made me feel better about having dropped a pump (and starting to get less from said pump) Type A BFers unite!
lsw says
Haha thanks! I know it’s not necessary to do it but I was thinking last night it will just make me feel better to count! I still have bags from the last time I traveled for work so I have no idea what’s in there.
anon says
You are right at the time when I started having trouble with output, but you are so close to the time when solids really start taking over for more of the nutrition. I would not worry about your supply for nursing from a nutritional standpoint at this age. The baby is much more efficient than the pump, and can probably make up for any missing calories with solids. He also is probably nursing more for comfort than nutrition sometimes, especially at night. I stopped pumping at 13 months-ish and nursed a little morning and night until I decided to stop around 25 months. I doubt much milk was coming out, but my son didn’t seem to care.
It is a big mental adjustment going from my baby’s going to starve if I don’t produce enough milk to nursing is a useful but not vital supplement to the actual eating my child is doing; you are in the midst of that transition. Biologically, it obviously doesn’t happen overnight, but you would think from reading parenting books that your baby’s body flips a switch the day they turn a year old and suddenly table food is the only thing that matters.
Anonymous says
As long as he is nursing 4-5 times a day at that age you’re fine. Continue pumping once a day but maybe pump a bit longer – like 25-30 mins instead of 20 mins. Try to get in a couple daytime nursing sessions on the weekend days (so like 11am and 2pm instead of just once). You can supplement with milk or formula if he wants more. It’s the presence of BM, not the absence of Cow’s milk for a year that matters.
If it makes you feel better about giving cow’s milk instead of formula, the official Canadian public health recommendations are that you only need formula to nine months and can use milk thereafter if baby is eating well. Also, in Canada it’s pretty uncommon to pump when we go back to work at one year, but lots of women continue nursing morning and night for months afterwards without issue.
lsw says
Thank you all so much. Anon @1:15 hit it on the head with this mental adjustment. Sometimes I forget he is actually ingesting food and eating meals for real rather than just putting it in his hair.
death (trigger warning) says
My friend’s baby, 6 weeks old, died in the NICU yesterday due to complications related to a heart defect. The baby never came home. We are all devastated. And right before Mother’s Day. We don’t know what to say or do to support her or her family. What is the right or wrong thing to say or do?
Anonymous says
Send flowers and food. Write a card noting that you are devastated and ask if there is anything you can do to help. Tell her it’s okay if she doesn’t answer your emails/texts but you are here whenever she is ready. My sister barely spoke to anyone other than her DH and my mom and dad for about a month after it happened to her baby. Email or text her every couple days for the next month or two to remind her that you are there. If there is a memorial service, attend if possible.
NewMomAnon says
I’m going to offer a different bit of advice – I’ve heard from my mom and a couple others who have lost babies that there is a big rush of sympathy right away when you are really numb, and then a lot of people treat it like it’s completely over and nothing changed, or they go out of their way to avoid talking about it. Most of the people I’ve known who have experienced a loss want you to ask how they’re doing and then accept whatever answer they feel like giving right then, without you needing to “make it better.” So some days they don’t want to talk about it and say, “I’m fine, how are you?” – go along with it. Other days they’ll say, “I’m struggling today,” and your response should be along the lines of, “I’m sorry. I’m here to listen if you want to talk.”
Be present, even if your friend doesn’t seem to care if you’re present. She’ll care eventually and remember that you were there through all of it. That’s really all you can do.
CHL says
I just read Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant’s new book Option B on grieving and there were a lot of good tips in there. I am super socially awkward around things like this and didn’t know what to do or say and it was helpful. So in the short term, yes to food, flowers, etc, but it was a helpful read for how to approach longer term conversations and support too.
anon says
Do they have other kids? Can you take the kid(s) for an outing?
death (trigger warning) says
No other kids. This was their first, and was a very, very wanted child.
All of her friends have kids so we are fearful of saying the wrong thing… like would she want to hear from us on mother’s day given that our children are living and her child no longer is. Except we are all mothers now, including her.
These are very helpful responses, thank you all. More suggestions are welcome.
Anon in NYC says
You might want to check out some of the recent posts on the blog Pinch of Yum. The author was pregnant and unexpectedly gave birth at 23 weeks and her son passed away. She has had a number of posts about her experience and her grief. It might be helpful in figuring out how to treat and respond to your friend. I will warn you though, it’s very very sad.
I think you need to stay in touch both now and set regular reminders to check in. I think you should reach out to her on Mother’s Day. She is a mother, and I think not acknowledging that would double down on the awfulness that she’s experiencing. I agree with the suggestion to reach out on Father’s Day too. I would also try to remember and acknowledge other milestones that come up – like, I imagine that she’s taking leave from work right now and will eventually go back to work. Maybe send flowers to her office or home. Send cards for the baby’s birthday.
If you are physically close to her, I would recommend bringing by food, but also things like paper plates + paper napkins so that they don’t have to put any effort into eating or cleaning.
Betty says
Put a marker on your calendar for 6 months from today and one year from today with a reminder to reach out to your friend. Please don’t be worried about “reminding” your friend and her husband of their loss; they will be remembering too and will be grateful that someone else is thinking about their lost child.
Meg Murry says
And 6 months from the baby’s birthday and a year from the baby’s birthday. You don’t have to say anything specifically referencing the baby, just make a point of reaching out around those hard times.
If you are very close this friend and live nearby – don’t ask, just ask if you can come over and then just do. Wash the towels, load the dishwasher, throw away the old half eaten casseroles in the fridge, etc. Just stick to household-ish things and don’t make assumptions on the part of baby stuff (like putting away carseats, etc) unless they ask you to.
rosie says
I would also put a marker on your calendar for the baby’s birthday, which I imagine will also a particularly tough day. And +100 on not worrying about reminding them of their loss.
rakma says
Don’t give in to the impulse to use platitudes to explain away the hurt. Alluding to ‘god’s plan’ or ‘it happened for a reason’ can be the opposite of comforting at a time like this. Acknowledge the pain and hurt they must be feeling, bringing it up isn’t going to ‘remind’ them of the pain.
Send food. Send cards, texts, things that don’t require an immediate response like a phone call.
rakma says
Also, offer specific help. This will depend on how close you are to this friend, but if you’re very close, offer to come help clean the house if people will be gathering there after a memorial service/funeral. Offer to drop off dinner in a few weeks–no pressure to stay and talk, just taking something off their plate.
mascot says
+1 to offering specific help and focusing on getting them from day to day. They don’t even know what they need right now so helping them with the most basic of tasks is a good thing. If you think they are getting a lot of food, drop off some paper plates, disposable silverware/napkins, and trashbags so they don’t have to deal with dishes. Include some beverages, toilet paper, and tissues for any houseguests. Offer to do a load of sheets/towels. Return phone calls and address envelopes for thank you notes.
I feel like I just saw an article discussing this which of course I can’t find.
Anonymous says
My parents had the same experience (I was 2 and don’t remember). I’ve shared this before in other contexts, but every year on the day the baby was born, my mom’s friend/neighbor at the time the baby was born sends flowers and a card to my parents. She’s been doing it for 25+ years now. My parents are still close with her and I’ve always thought it was such a thoughtful thing to do.
Anon says
Reach out and just listen. Take mom and dad’s lead with how they want to talk about it. be sure to include dad, this was something that was really overlooked when I had out loss and my husband really had a difficult time being almost ‘left out’. Closer to Mothers Day, reach out with a msg maybe something like, depending on how close you are- with something acknoweldging the day coming up and ask if they want to do something or if they want some alone time.
Anon says
Weaning advice?
My LO just turned a year old a month ago and I’ve been weaning. Got rid of all daytime nursing/pumping sessions but when I tried to cut out the “wake up” nursing session he totally lost it and then regressed to wanting frantically to nurse all night. I’ve managed to get over that speed bump but am still being held hostage to nurse at wakeup, bedtime, and once overnight. Any tips for how to get rid of these last sessions, I’m ready to be done! And anticipating that someone will advise me to just stop, bear in mind that I’m a softy and won’t be able to just walk away if he’s losing it at 2 a.m.
FTMinFL says
Can your partner take over the middle of the night shift for a time? If nursing isn’t an option, LO may get over the frantic middle of the night neediness.
As a second step, I picked the bedtime feeding and chose to read books and offer a sippy of milk in a different spot from where we usually nursed (i.e., sitting with the stuffed animals instead of in the rocker). I told him that the milk had to go night night, but books! and milk! and he was happy and that took care of that. Once that transition had passed, I did the same thing with the wake up session. Milk had to go night night, but let’s go to the kitchen and get milk! and a muffin! and read a book/watch a ‘wheels on the bus’ video!
Good luck. Even if you are really mentally done with BFing, stopping always seems harder on mom than baby. you’ve got this!
Anonymous says
Don’t offer don’t refuse is usually the gentlest mom-led weaning. If you want to wean a bit faster, overnight one will be the easiest to drop next. Have DH get up with him at night for a week or so. DH can offer a sippy of milk and cuddles.
Wait a week or two. Then drop the evening one by nursing for a set period of time (e.g. ten mins) then leaving and having DH put him to bed. After a week of new routine, have DH put him to bed offering a sippy of milk if necessary.
Wait another week or two. Have DH get up with him in the morning and bring him downstairs. DH can bring him downstairs and give him a sippy of milk Don’t sit down where you nurse in the morning. snuggle when you get up in the morning on the sofa downstairs.
You’ve nursed for a year so don’t feel bad about having DH carry a bunch of the load in helping LO adjust.
Extra slow alternative schedule is to just offer morning and night until he gets tired of it. My three all weaned by around 16 months. I wasn’t pumping at all, just nursing morning and evening and they lost interest by around 15-16 months.
layered bob says
my daughter was really not ready to wean at 12 months, and nightweaned in one night with absolutely no crying/fuss/anything at 18 months. So I guess this is the opposite of the “just stop” advice – it’s the “just keep going for a bit longer” advice. Wait and it gets easier! If you want!
Anonymous says
While night weaning my son (who was ~18-20 months), we started nursing only as long as it takes to sing “Twinkle, Twinkle little star”. I would let him know before he started that’s how long he was going to nurse, let him nurse while I sang, then stopped as the song did.
Also when transitioning, we had previously discussed bedtime routine as we did it: “First we turn on the fan, then we turn on the lamb, then we nurse!”, and I would occasionally (one night per week, then two, then…) say “snuggle” instead of nurse, and we only snuggled that night.
I’m not sure how responsive your 12 mo old is to verbal cues/talking, so not sure if the same is applicable to you. Good luck!
Meg Murry says
I needed my partner to step in and be the enforcer, because I wanted to stop nursing in the abstract but I always caved in the moment. So we started with cutting nursing sessions shorter and shorter and H taking the kid from me immediately after nursing to distract him, then went to me just disappearing during key nursing times like before bed, before nap and first thing in the morning. We also made a point to be out of the house doing distracting things those first couple weekends.
EB0220 says
My daughter LOVES Umbro checked shorts and t-shirts when the weather gets warmer. Well, someone at school finally called it a “boy outfit” on Monday. Didn’t seem to bother her, though. I didn’t hear about it until Tuesday evening.
Blueberry says
True story: the cool girls at my elementary school totally wore Umbros. I was so disappointed that my mom bought me off-brand shorts.
Also, funny story: My toddler threw a fit that I wouldn’t let him wear his “running shorts” the other day. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what he meant. He sees me leave home a lot in my running clothes because I jog into the office sometimes. I finally figured out that he just meant some cotton shorts that he has decided are his “running shorts”, but it makes me crack up every time I think of a toddler with special jogging clothes — all his clothes are running clothes! :)
EB0220 says
I know! I was never sporty so I didn’t have any but the cool girls definitely wore umbros when I was in middle school. When my 5 year old was 2, she dressed up as a runner for Halloween. My husband was training for an ultra at the time and she LOVED it. I got her a toddler running outfit with tall “compression” socks. It was adorable.
Anonymous says
Are they ~3-4 years old? Gender indicators become such a big thing that age. Comments like that go in both directions.
If it doesn’t bother her, let it roll! If it does, there are plenty of pink options ;)
EB0220 says
They’re 4-5 but I think it’s still big at this age. They really like everything being “just so” in their world so it makes sense. It didn’t seem to bother her so we’ll just roll. I found it funny that a bunch of our conversations on thissite around gender and children’s clothing flashed through my mind between her comment and my response.
Rainbow Hair says
What did you say to her? My kid is younger, but I try to talk just about personal preferences? Like “Mommy likes dresses, but daddy likes shorts. You like dresses and shorts!” … but I dunno. That doesn’t really address it head on.
EB0220 says
The first thing that came out of my mouth was, “Well that’s kind of rude.” The second thing (after I’d thought a bit) was “Well, so what if it is a “boy outfit”? If you like it, it doesn’t matter what she thinks.” Not sure it was the right thing to say but she seemed satisfied and the moment passed.
Anonymous says
I just had a massive realization while reading about Alt-Right misogyny and enforcing “natural” gender roles: if it was natural you wouldn’t have to enforce it! Nobody makes rules about not eating with your eye sockets, because it’s actually not natural and doesn’t occur. So: she is a girl and any clothes she is wearing are girl clothes. Done.