Organizing Thursday: Cosmetic Makeup Organizer

OK, guys, let’s hear it: how do you organize your makeup? I feel like I am forever hunting for that ONE pencil or that one lipstick. My current system involves an organizer like this one and, honestly, one of those long plastic boxes meant to help you organize your silverware drawer — I pull everything out that I’m going to need all at once (while I’ve got my glasses on), then put things away as I use them. My minimal beauty routine takes less than two minutes — but I always feel like a better product or organizer would help it go even faster. What do you use to organize your makeup — and have you found any other uses for lipstick organizers such as this one, such as for crayons or other kid-related items? This one is $7 and eligible for Prime shipping. Transparent Cosmetic Makeup Organizer

Psst: Do check out the killer clearance sale that Boden has going on — here’s our recent(ish) post on how to build a work wardrobe at Boden.

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Comments

  1. Anonanonanon says:

    I try to keep my every day makeup separate from the rest of it, and keep my everyday makeup in a bag I can easily take with me (to do my makeup at the office, in the car, etc.) I find it pointless to organize it all in my bathroom, since I find myself doing my makeup all over the house depending on what my kiddo is up to.

    Followup to my yesterday afternoon post about questions for an in-home daycare provider, I came up with a few that I thought I would share that primarily affect moms with a not-very-flexible work schedule (like myself):

    -Since you have staff, who do you follow for weather closures? (school, local government, federal government, etc.)
    -Do you have adequate staff to cover if one staff member or yourself are ill or have a family emergency?
    -Do you have any pre-planned weeks you take off, and if so how far in advance are those dates communicated? (a lot of in home providers take off a week around christmas and a week in summer, apparently)
    -If I need care outside of your regular operating hours, do you allow your staff to provide care to families outside of hours for extra pay?
    -Do you follow the federal holiday schedule, or are there additional days you close?

    • NewMomAnon says:

      Another question that I discovered this year: Do you have alternate facilities if your facilities become damaged? I’ve now had two daycares with facilities issues (flooding and mold), and one was able to shift kids between classrooms while the other had to close completely for weeks. Major PITA.

    • anne-on says:

      I’d also ask for a copy of the handbook. Things that can really screw up your work based on handbook policies include:
      what is your policy for requiring a child to stay home (fever over 100? those that count it at 99 are a huge PITA)
      how long must a child stay home after an illness (1 day? 1 day with a doctors note – ie, requiring you to run to a doctor)
      what is your policy on administering medication? not at all? (ie – you may need to pull your child if they have allergies or asthma requiring benadryl and/or a rescue inhaler)
      what is your policy on food – can we supply our own if needed due to allergies or preference?
      what is the policy on biting/aggression? (you never want your kid to be the biter, but if they are, will they get kicked out after 1 incident? 2? unspecified?)
      etc.

      • NewMomAnon says:

        Also, what is their policy on exclusion and discipline. My kid is amazing but willful, and I worry that a teacher who insists on absolute compliance will someday instigate a power struggle with her.

  2. NewMomAnon says:

    I have a very small set of day-to-day makeup items; one compact of blush, one of eye shadow, one eye pencil, three brushes, moisturizer, blender sponge. I keep them all in a pretty tea tin on my bathroom counter, with the brush bristles pointed up. The rest of my makeup is stored in a big, zipped makeup organizer in my bathroom cabinet that comes out only for special occasions.

    • This is a good idea. My compacts are not going to fit in the kind of organizer Kat suggests. Right now my makeup is in a travel bag and they keep falling out and falling all over the place. Tin for the win.

      • NewMomAnon says:

        It came about because I feel so guilty throwing away those tea tins, and I generate about 6-8 empty tins a year – I don’t think they can be recycled? I am on the verge of using the tins as my everyday drinkware or something similarly bizarre. I’ve actually downgraded my tea quality just so I can recycle paperboard boxes instead of feeling guilty about the metal tins.

        • Anonymous says:

          Didn’t see this yesterday so I don’t know if you’ll see this reply but I used to (before I could afford to buy fancy tea in tins and generate my own supply of fun containers) love finding tins at the resale shops, so maybe donate them? I use them for tiny plants in addition to random storage.

  3. Anonymous says:

    What do you do when your toddler is misbehaving but disciplining is not really an option for various reasons?

    We are on “vacation” with our toddler and three month old. Toddler has been throwing tantrum after tantrum (actually pretty unlike her), running off in public places, refusing diaper changes, etc. But when this happens we are out in public. Or in our hotel room where we are trying to keep the baby asleep. So normal tactics or quick timeout or just plain leaving and heading home are not really an option. Instead I’m just bribing her and giving into her demands which is far from ideal and does not happen at home.

    Any words of wisdom?

    • Anonymous says:

      Do a time out as soon as you can, for something fairly benign. Then, when you’re out in public, she can remember that you actually DO time-outs, and you’ll be less likely to have to do one in public. I’m a big believer in time-outs anywhere thought — grocery store where she stands 3 feet away from me and i watch her out of the corner of my eye if I have to. But my LO is 3, so I’m not sure if this would work if your toddler is more like 18-24 months.

    • NewMomAnon says:

      I would divide and conquer – if toddler is misbehaving somewhere where a timeout is not an option, one parent drops everything and removes toddler to a place where a timeout is an option. Or, the punishment is just leaving somewhere fun to go to somewhere boring like leaving the hotel room to go to the hallway, or leaving the beach to go to the parking lot, or leaving the restaurant to go to the rental car and sit in silence.

      Is it possible your kiddo is also overstimulated and thrown off by changes in schedule? I have to keep pretty close to the daycare schedule when I travel with kiddo or she turns into a little demon child.

      • Anonymous says:

        Sorry I completely forgot to mention that I’m solo parenting during the day. My husband is working. So sadly divide and conquer is not an option.

        And she is usually pretty flexible on naps and sleep when traveling. We traveled a LOT last year. But maybe that’s just not the case anymore.

        • NewMomAnon says:

          Solo parenting through public tantrums is tough, sorry about that. I haven’t done it with a baby in tow, so hats off to you. I think I would prioritize two free hands to deal with tantruming toddler, and do as little as possible once the tantrum is underway. Like, remark on the feelings and let her know you’re there, but do nothing to stop the tantrum. For 80% of kiddo’s tantrums, that has been the best approach. The other 20% are hunger or exhaustion induced and just run on forever…..in which case I suggest a hip flask. Or gummy bears.

    • Pigpen's Mama says:

      What do you do for timeouts at home? We usually have her either sit on the stairs or stand in the corner for 2-3 minutes.

      I can’t remember where we were, but I have just put my then-2-yr-old in a corner at a restaurant when she was acting up when we were out and about one day.

      If there are two adults and you’re at the hotel, can you take her to sit in a stairwell?

      I never thought I’d be the parent that would put my kid in the corner or sit on the stairs (I don’t recall doing that when I was a kid), but I find it usually works because it removes her from whatever she was doing and lets her take a moment to reset. Usually.

      • NewMomAnon says:

        One key for me is that *I* have to reset at the same time kiddo is resetting. If I’m tense or upset or frustrated with her while she is in timeout, it’s not effective. One of the hardest parts about a timeout in a stairwell or some public place is that you have to pay attention to your kiddo while they are in timeout. I try to bring a book or something to do with my hands; timeouts at home are most effective when I can just put her in timeout and then step away to do something boring like unload the dishwasher.

        • Pigpen's Mama says:

          Yea — I’m like that for a good number of her timeouts as well. And the times I REALLY need my own timeout, she goes to her room.

          I think the public part all depends on how likely your kid is to run/further misbehave. When she was 2, she was usually just too surprised to do anything but stand there… now that she’s fully into threenager mode, I fear that’s changing!

      • Anonymous says:

        OP here. This is a good idea. We do short timeouts at home and they really help her reset. It’s true that you can do a timeout almost anywhere I suppose!

        • If you have a stroller, put her in the stroller and face her away from you for a time out. She will get the point. If you’re in a hotel room and baby is sleeping, take her outside. I would be comfortable leaving baby in room alone and taking toddler into hallway, assuming baby was in a safe space (travel crib vs. reg. bed) – it’s no different to me than if baby woke up while I was in the bathroom. For restaurants and stuff like that, we just immediately take kid outside or to the bathroom or whatever else. Also, every child is different, but I find calmly saying “what is it that you want” goes a long way with my daughter’s tantrums. Sometime you have to repeat this a few times but it breaks the wailing cycle and she usually has no idea or she’ll say whatever it is but it tends to stop the spiral.

    • mascot says:

      1) Figure out mobile time-outs. The idea behind a time-out is they need a minute or two out of the action to regroup as much as it is a “punishment” of them not getting to participate in the action. There are a lot of parts to a vacation that a stressful to a little person.
      2) Re-frame the rewards system in your head. It’s not bribing her to not misbehave, it’s positively reinforcing the good behavior. “Show me your big kid manners/ voice while we finish up here so we can go to the playground” is a different tact than”stop screaming and we will get you a treat”
      3) Vacations with kids mean weird food and weird sleep and a whole lot of changes. This doesn’t mean that you are ruining things at home if you give some slack.

    • Anonymous says:

      Just reading How Toddlers Thrive. She basically says that any routine disruption may lead to tantrums (she actually suggests purposefully varying elements of routines once established to teach child to be more flexible). She suggests letting tantrums play out while remaining calm and nearby. She also suggests heading off tantrums by providing consistency and empathy. Recognizing that children can be mad, feel jealous etc. helping them name the emotions and expressing lots of love.

      I’m a bit, no duh about 1/3 of this book and about 1/3, that must be nice in your perfect world that doesn’t have carseats and schools with potty training timetables, but the stuff on negative emotions and tantrums is interesting.

  4. Baby shoes says:

    So my baby girl will be walking pretty soon, and I’m thinking I need to buy her shoes, especially since winter is coming. Brand suggestions? How do I know what size to get? Take her to the store and hold her feet up to the shoe?

    • Stride-Rite measures and they have really great shoes – that’s about all my kid has worn for the last year+. But until she really needs hard-soled shoes I’m a big fan of Robeez.

      • +1 robeez or pediped are good soft-sole starter shoes. Some of their sizing is by month (and isn’t as exact) so you don’t need to get her fitted.

      • NewMomAnon says:

        I think Stride Rite closed most of their stores, though?

    • Anonymous says:

      You can get her fitted at a Nordstrom! They make a big deal about baby’s first shoes and give away balloons (if you want one) at my local store.

      Our favorite brands are See Kai Run, Saltwater Sandals, Havainnas. You could also try leather moccasins. People seem to love Freshly Picked but I personally find them too speedy and think the knockoffs (or maybe they’re just less expensive brands?) work just fine!

    • +1000 to getting child’s feet actually measured. I tried the trial and error process with online shoes and nothing ever fit right until I actually went to a kids’ shoe store.

      As for brands – agree on Stride Rite (although my kid needed wides here), also happy with Naturino and PediPed (both often on sale at 6pm). And my daughter loves her crocs for just regular running around. Wish that weren’t the case but the light up ones are a huge hit.

    • ElisaR says:

      take her to a children’s shoe store and have her measured. And I would buy the shoes there because she way have wide feet or narrow feet that might make one shoe better than another for her. Don’t just buy shoes online once you know the size (ask me how I know)…..

      this is one of those opportunities to patronize a local store that provides a valuable service.

  5. Newmomanon – I hoard those tea tins as well. I use them for kitchen storage (little packets etc), bathroom storage and have them in drawers as well to keep little items contained. I am an old lady packaging hoarder though, I have a bag of tins and jam jars in the cupboard. Never know when they’ll come in handy.

    • I keep my sewing supplies in a tin (bunch of small threads and needle); my nail polish in a big cookie one; and another for buttons. I also have some vintage tall ones that are very pretty that I use to coral pens/pencils/etc. My grandma has a beautiful old tin with all sorts of gorgeous intricate vintage buttons when I was growing up and it was my favorite thing ever. I would go through it every time I visited. Sadly it was discarded at some point or otherwise disappeared but I have the happiest memories of it.

    • NewMomAnon says:

      My grandmother used to have a huge collection of tea tins that I would play with like building blocks as a kid. It’s a wonderful memory, and I can still remember how they smelled.

  6. My three month old wakes up every morning with both nostrils almost completely clogged. The clog is near the top of each nostril (so very difficult to reach) and it’s plugged with hard, solid, dense mucus. Not something you can suction out. He seems unhappy when he can’t breathe, but he’s even unhappier when my husband tries to remove the obstruction with a plastic toothpick (I try to discourage this “help”). We’ve tried a humidifier, and it doesn’t seem to help at all. Any suggestions?

    By the way, he doesn’t seem otherwise sick. I can’t figure out why he is going through this.

    • Saline spray? The nose frieda one is good. Please don’t use a toothpick.

    • You could also try elevating one end of his mattress a bit to see if that promotes drainage overnight.

    • Humidifier at night too?

    • NewMomAnon says:

      Elevate the mattress and use a humidifier. I would use some saline spray, wait half an hour until stuff has loosened, and then try suction.

      • Katala says:

        +1 and if someone is compelled to dig, something like the oogiebear is made to be safer than toothpick.

    • Anonymous says:

      Two to three months is just a mucous fest. (Our ped sent home a sheet of info after every appointment and I remember there were several lines about mucous on the 2 month one.) It’s apparently normal (though your kid could have hay fever/allergies if it runs in the family).

      In addition to the humidifier (turn it up! move it closer to the crib!), plop baby in baby container/chair in the bathroom while you/husband take your morning shower(s). If he has good head control (he might not yet) you can take him in a warmish shower with you. I found this doable on weekends when there were two sets of hands available (I would hop in with baby, get snot out, hand her off to dad to dry and dress, finish my shower.) When she had her first cold (about 6 months?) I’d turn on the shower as hot as it would go and then play with her in the bathroom for five minutes of steaming to get the snot out.

      After some hot shower steam, use the nose frida. Baby quickly developed negative association with the nose frida, so I would not do it on the changing pad (though that was easiest).

      • Katala says:

        My first actually likes the nose frida. New baby HATES it. Big bro saw dad sucking baby’s snot and insisted he needed it too! He thinks it’s hilarious. Kids are so weird.

    • Thank you all! This is our second kid (our daughter is 2) so a long hot shower is pretty much out of the question as part of the morning routine. :) The humidifier is keeping the blanket next to him somewhat damp, so I am reluctant to turn it up anymore. But I will try elevating the crib mattress and I ordered some saline spray + nose frida. Fingers crossed!

  7. To helmet or not to helmet says:

    TL;DR: Our baby has a flat head and we’re struggling with the decision whether to get her a helmet to try to correct it.

    She’s almost 9 months and we’ve seen specialists who confirmed that it is purely a cosmetic issue; she is hitting her milestones and developing normally. She now sits most of the time and sleeps on her tummy about half the time, so she’s not laying on her back as much. We’ve seen some improvement but it’s definitely still noticeable. It’s flat in the back and very symmetric; from the to, her head looks triangular. From the front her head looks broader than it otherwise would be, and it’s also noticeable in profile.

    At every checkup, we’ve discussed getting a helmet (“doc band”), and the dr has said it’s entirely up to us since it’s cosmetic. We’ve put it off to see if it got better on its own. My husband is leaning toward doing a helmet before it’s too late (I think we’d need to do it soon?). I’m really hesitant to make baby undergo something that seems bothersome / uncomfortable for a purely cosmetic issue. I’m also irrationally sad about having a helmet in all her candid pics for the next 4-6 months. My husband thinks our daughter will forever resent us for not fixing this when we could. (The $$ is not a concern, we just want to do the right thing by her.)

    If you’ve been through this, how did you decide? Anecdotes?

    • Blueberry says:

      Depending of course how flat you’re talking, I would do it. Think about how you would feel as a teenager/3o-year-old/whatever if you ended up with a flat head that your parents could have fixed when you were a baby with minimal discomfort and no risk. Plus, I think the helmets are pretty darn cute anyway.

    • Newbie Momma says:

      One of my feet was slightly turned out when I was little and my mom put me in a leg brace to have it corrected, for mostly cosmetic reasons. I’ve seen pictures of it but have zero memory. My husband had the same issue, and his parents didn’t do the brace. As an adult, I’m thankful my mom made the decision she did.

    • anne-on says:

      I’d do it ASAP. The helmets can be customized and really, at this age she won’t notice, but she likely WILL notice as she gets older and it can no longer be fixed. A kid in our mom’s group wore the helmet and really, the mom said he didn’t mind and it was only on for a short time (I think 4-5 months?)

      • Anonymous says:

        +1. Just do it, get through it, and it’ll be done before you know it.

      • I think I would do it. You can always take it off for a photo shoot once a month. My friend found someone on Etsy to paint her son’s helmet with a really cool design – I think it was a sparrow, but kind of tattoo style? I think in hindsight it was a blip in his life. I had a cast at age 1.5 and those pictures of me stumping around on it are also really cute.

    • My kid had one. He was a great sleeper early on so the back of his head was almost entirely flat. He wore it for about 8 months beginning when he was 5 months old – he barely noticed it. It did help. We took it off for photo-heavy events (e.g. Christmas Day) but he otherwise wore it 23 hours a day.

      If cost is no issue, I recommend just doing it. As far as the irrational sadness, try to reframe your thinking to have it be just as other visible medical thing that will temporarily be a part of family photos … arm in a cast, braces, etc. … really not a big deal. We worked the helmet into his first Halloween costume – he was an astronaut.

    • I posted almost the exact same post here when my son was 6 months. His asymmetry was pretty bad (18 mm) due to torticollis that his first pediatrician refused to diagnose, although they still classified it as cosmetic and told us it was our decision if we wanted to pursue a helmet. We agonized over the helmet decision due to the cost, inconvenience/discomfort for my son, and my not wanting it in all his baby photos. We got the helmet and are SO SO SO glad we did. The cost kind of sucked, but it was hands down worth it. Some places offer payment plans and you can use HSA funds for it. My son got the helmet at 7 1/2 months and the inconvenience/discomfort was a non-issue because he literally did not even notice it was there. The helmet technician had been doing them for 20 years and said he can count on one hand the number of babies that didn’t adjust to the helmet pretty quickly. Most babies have zero transition period because they are just so flexible at that age. My son does have a lot of candid photos with his helmet in them but we love them! We decorated his helmet (check out blingyourband – they have a ton of options) and ended up loving the helmet pretty quickly. He has had it off for 8 months and my husband still refuses to trash the helmet because he is so attached to it. When we were out with our son in his helmet we were approached by a ton of other parents whose kids had also had a helmet and every single one of them said it was the right decision. On he flip side, my husband has a coworker whose son is 10 and they decided not to get him a helmet when he was a baby and the coworker confessed to my husband that it is a huge regret of his, as the flat spot is pretty noticeable every time the son gets a haircut. I would second the recommendation to do it ASAP. They take about 5-7 weeks to get measured and made, and the older the child, the longer they are in it and the less improvement you will see.

      • +1. I have no regrets about doing the helmet. I’m so glad that we did. And honestly, the picture issue is just not that big of a deal in the long run. My son is almost 8 and seeing his baby photos gives me the warm and fuzzies, helmet or no helmet. It was a big part of our lives at the time, but now it’s such a blip on the radar and something I never think about.

        I redecorated my son’s helmet every couple of weeks and it was really fun. Having the decorations seemed to make a big difference in how we were perceived in public, sad to say. People noticed the helmet, but I think the decor was a screaming reminder that hey! this is a kid! and the comments were almost always positive. In fact, my son got so much attention that I’m convinced that the helmet is what turned him into a raging extrovert. ;)

    • To helmet or not to helmet says:

      Thank you all, these are really reassuring. I think we’ll probably do it and I’m glad to hear it was the right decision for those who have been there.

    • Anonymous says:

      Do it asap. We had physio for tortocollis and luckily it corrected so very very minimal flat spot that isn’t noticeable but our physio said early treatment is key because head shape is 90% set by 1 year and it is very hard to correct thereafter.

      What would you want your parents to do if it was you?

    • Edna Mazur says:

      I know it’s late but just wanted to say, I have a pre-teen nephew who is pretty embarrassed about his flat head. Please do it.

      • Strategy mom says:

        Was just going to add that we have a friend who didn’t do it for her two boys, and it’s an issue. Very noticeable and too late to grow out of it. I wouldn’t dare ask, but I’m sure she regrets not getting the helmet. On the up side, you would be doing it in cold months so not as uncomfortable as summer months.

  8. AnonForThis says:

    Just want to say that HR seems like the 13th level of hell when you’re trying to give notice and accept a new job and HR is like “Oh, we just need one more signature….he’s out today.” AGGGGGHHHH!!!

    • What?? You quit. You don’t need their permission. Or is it at the new job?

      • AnonForThis says:

        Ha! Yeah for the new job. Really, its okay but for someone like me with anxiety its nerve-racking.

  9. Anonymous says:

    My niece and nephew both had helmets. They adjusted really quickly and didn’t really notice them (babies are SO adaptable! They have little concept of how things “should” be). While the issue is cosmetic…it will affect the shape of her face/head for the rest of her life. As sad as it is, being a more aesthetically pleasing human does make life a bit easier. I would do it since I’ve seen how it doesn’t really bother the kids. And you are right, the window for you to correct the issue is closing so I would do it ASAP.

  10. Momata says:

    I have a very minimal amount of makeup that I wear every day (eyelid primer, eyeliner, brow pencil, mascara, tinted moisturizer w/ brush, blush, and concealer). I am also a weird person who cannot stand having stuff out on the counter. These all lie flat in a drawer organizer in the bathroom vanity. I wash the brush on Friday mornings and leave it out to dry through the weekend (I don’t wear anything except mascara on the weekends).

    • avocado says:

      I don’t like leaving things out on the counter either. I keep most of my regular makeup in a small cosmetic bag, long skinny things such as pencils and mascara in a matching pencil pouch, and brushes in a zippered brush case. All of these live in a drawer. I like just being able to grab the cases for travel. Makeup I use only for special occasions lives in a small organizing bin in the same drawer.

  11. Anon cyclist says:

    Anon so as not to out myself on my usual handle. I bought a Nihola Family cargo bike last night and took my kids to daycare in it this morning. It’s so much fun! It took a little getting used to steering, but it’s much easier to use than I thought it’d be and my preschooler loved the ride!

    Any more experienced cargo bike riders out there want to share pro tips? My small city is mostly flat and it very rarely gets below freezing, so I’m hoping to ride a fair amount.

    • Anonymous says:

      Those things are so cool. We saw one this weekend in our flat, temperate city as well. Looks like it would be great.

  12. newly pregnant says:

    Just took a pregnancy test yesterday and it came back positive. We have been TTC for a while, I had a miscarriage in the spring and this past month we did an IUI, so by no means am I shocked. However, I’m not feeling as elated as I thought I’d feel. Instead I’m worried about a whole bunch of things. I know I will need to let go of this once I have kids and maybe now is a good starting point, but I’m a planner and so these are the things going through my mind:

    – baby will be due in June and I will end up being on maternity leave at the slowest time at work and going back to the busiest (I am not in a super intense office environment and it would not hurt my career to miss busy season), so I was hoping to be able to miss it. (yes, i realize we could’ve waited a month to do the IUI, but we would’ve kept trying anyway and our next step was going to be IVF, and if we waited to do IUI in October, we would not have been able to do IVF until December bc of family obligations in November – my mom is sick and I needed to be able to go home at Thanksgiving, and we would’ve done the genetic testing, so then I wouldn’t have been pregnant until March at the earliest and that felt way too far away)
    -how will I handle going back to work. I want to work or at least think I do, but would love to negotiate some kind of flex time or work from home schedule. my husband works a VERY demanding job and so he will be unable to help with weekday child responsibilities and i earn so little money i will practically be paying to go to work (i realize i am very fortunate to be in a position where i can take a lower paying job to pursue something i like)
    -what if we have twin boys. i know twins are an elevated possibility with fertility treatment, but it will definitely make our lives harder and logistically challenging. i also kind of always wanted at least one girl. We live flying distance from our parents and I won’t be able to travel solo with the baby. We won’t be able to fit in one car with our parents when we go visit, etc.
    -on that twin thread, or even if we only have 1 – our lease for our large one bedroom apartment (1000 square feet) is not up until September. we have an amazing deal on our rent, can we manage in a one bedroom for a few months
    -we have no family nearby and my mom is now sick, but when we moved i always thought she’d come and stay with me for a few weeks to help. i’m sure my mother-in-law will offer, but don’t think that will really work well for me, so we will really be on our own
    – I’m newish in town and live in an area with a lot of SAHM. Admittedly it has been hard to make friends being at our age (early 30s) and not having kids. Everyone seems to either be 25 and single or married with a kid and while I feel at the same stage of life as the people with kids, and honestly dont mind hanging out with them and their kids, people look at us as ‘we don’t have time for new friends with kids.’ So I’m excited about being able to participate in all of these kid friendly activities, but am already feeling FOMO
    -We live in the south where school cut offs are early, so I’m also worried about my kid being the youngest in the grade. My sister was one of the youngest in her grade and it was not good for her. I know we could hold him/her back, but I don’t want them to be the oldest either
    -i tend to be an emotional eater – i’m going to use pregnancy as an excuse to eat everything and never lose the weight

    Oddly enough, the one thing i’m not really thinking about is miscarrying (even though it happened to me before). I feel like a terrible mom for already thinking all of these things.

    • Anon in NYC says:

      Gently – these are completely normal anxieties to be having and you shouldn’t borrow trouble. You’re not a bad mom. It took me and DH almost a year to conceive (fortunately we never had to try fertility treatments). When the test came back positive, my stomach dropped and I immediately questioned why we had decided to do this whole kid thing. I still wasn’t “excited” for most/all of my pregnancy. But, my kid is now here and she’s great. And yeah, some of the things that I was anxious about are still things that I’m anxious about, but c’est la vie. It works itself out at some point.

      Congrats!!

    • Blueberries says:

      Normal to worry and good that you know you’ll have to let go of the worry. On the apartment, it wasn’t a problem for me to have a baby in an apartment roughly half that size. AAP (controversially on this board) recommends that baby have a separate sleep surface in the parents’ room until at least 6 months, ideally a year. It’s fine to not have a nursery.

    • Anonymous says:

      Whew, breathe. Congrats! It’s normal to be freaked out, but you will get through it.
      You can absolutely manage in 1,000 square foot 1 bedroom apartment for several months, or honestly a year or more. The new recommendation is that baby is supposed to sleep in parents’ room for minimum 6 months and ideally one year. We have a home with multiple bedrooms and set up a beautiful nursery that sat empty for the first six months. With 1000 sq feet, you’ll have plenty of space in your apartment for a glider for nursing, a changing table and a baby swing or rocker, and a crib or bassinet right by the master bed. That’s really all you need.
      School cutoffs are in August, right? Your kid(s) will be young-ish but by no means the youngest child in the class. I was born in late May and went to school in a district with an August 1 cutoff and roughly 1/4 the class was my age or younger. I never had any social issues and since I was ahead of the curve academically it actually ended up being a really good thing.
      You may be surprised by what you want to eat in pregnancy – I have been a lifelong desserts addict who never craved healthy food and never wanted to exercise, and I found myself actually *wanting* to eat well and exercise, not just doing it out of a sense of obligation. And if you eat a lot of crap and gain 60 pounds it will eventually come off. If you are able to breastfeed and choose to do so, the weight will really drop off instantly. I was at my pre-pregnancy weight in about a month, while eating everything in sight and not exercising.
      Even if your area is full of SAHMs, you will meet other working moms at daycare. You may not develop bestie-level friendships with them, but they will become friendly acquaintances you socialize with while the kids play.
      I was freaked about the possibility of twins too, but it’s pretty unlikely even with an IUI. If you do have them, you will figure it out. Twins also normally come at least a few weeks early, so then some of your other concerns about the due date won’t be as applicable.
      You don’t have to decide now if you’re doing back to work. Make a plan to go back to work, but you can quit while you’re out if you don’t feel like you can leave your baby. You may be surprised that you’re actually looking forward to going back to work. Being home alone all day with an infant who can’t communicate can be pretty isolating and unfun, even if you love the baby deeply.
      I’m sorry your mom is sick, that sounds really tough, but lots of people manage with newborns without family support. Think how much joy the baby will bring your mom!

    • mascot says:

      Deep breaths. So many of these things are out of your control or unknown developments in the future that you will run yourself ragged worrying about them. I can address a couple of them that I experienced. We moved to a new town where we didn’t know a soul when my kid was a toddler. Several years later, we’ve got plenty of friends with kids, with a big variety in stay at home vs ft office job to ft travel job to work from home to part time and every variation. It’s going to be ok. You will meet people and make friends.
      Also, and I’ve shared my story here before, my kid was the youngest in his class because of his birthday (19 days before the cut-off) . He started school “on time”. He wasn’t ready. After a lot of worrying and on the advice of his school, he repeated the grade and is now one of the oldest in his class. It was a great decision, he’s happy and thriving, and we are completely at peace with the whole thing. You make the best decision with the information you have at the time and you adapt when necessary. Someone is always going to be the oldest/youngest/tallest/shortest/best reader/worst athelete/most gifted whatever. Follow what works for your kid, not pre-conceived notions of what is “ideal”

    • I think you should take a deep breath and make a decision to cross one bridge at a time. Now is not the time to worry about many of these things. You have 9+ months to work all of this out. You will find out if you have twins at your first doctors appointment and you can worry about it then. You can plan the logistics of work busy season when you’re past your first trimester. School cut offs that are early enough to make June babies be on the younger side will still have a lot of kids that are near the same. It’s not like being the only kid in a class with a December bday. And anyway none of that really matters long term. And re: apt. – it’s 100% fine. I had a baby in a small one bedroom walk up and it was not a big deal. Your kid should room with you in the early months anyway. Congratulations! Try to breathe. This is all super normal.

    • Anonymous says:

      Had a very similar experience to yours. Miscarriage, followed by IUI success (mostly thought we were doing that to get insurance coverage for IVF – I was NOT expecting it to work even though obviously it could and did). And then I was not as excited as I expected, because I was just worrying. What if it was too early? Were we really ready? Had we saved enough money? Did I get to do all the pre-baby travel I really wanted? Did this set us up well for timing baby 2? Etc. Etc. Etc. It is a deep rabbit hole you can go down.
      I don’t have a ton of good advice for you other than to say that your feelings are totally normal and it does not mean you’ll be a bad mom or that you’re ungrateful for the fertility success or any of that. Especially when you’ve been waiting so long it can be a bit surprising when it actually ‘takes’. You’re just adjusting to that.
      The only things I’d really recommend are to talk to your husband about how you’re feeling. Also, your provider. They can help with a referral if you think that would help. I also found being physically active helped me feel more like myself, if you are feeling physically up to it. If you can get away for a weekend, or do something you love in your town to distract you, that might be good too. I was feeling all that panic when it was still too early to do much to really prepare for the baby so I couldn’t address my fears. Distraction helped. Lastly, get on day care lists. This will help prevent future anxiety about that.

    • Katala says:

      So normal to feel anxious! “Elated” and anxious are not all that far apart, both are aroused emotions. Add in hormones and it’s likely you’ll be bouncing between lots of emotions. It’s ok, and means you’re already on your way to being a great mom because you care about all these things and are paying attention.

      My 2 cents on busy season is that it’s good to go back and be busy. For me, it was hard to adjust to being back both times, but the first time I was at a new job and slowly ramping up. It was harder – much better to be able to jump back in and have work to distract me. Sitting in my office, waiting for assignments gave me so much time to ruminate on being away from baby.

      Your apartment is also fine. Chances are you’ll want to share a room for several months, and if necessary the adults can move into the living room to sleep. Not the best for entertaining but totally works.

  13. EB0220 says:

    Moms of older kids, do you have guidelines for attending birthday parties? I usually accept all invites that I can reasonably attend but my kids now are both in 20+ person classes and it’s getting overwhelming.

    • Anonymous says:

      I generally try to attend most, though I won’t cancel other plans to do it. When I find it’s too much I usually give preference to parties that:
      – invite boys and girls (I hate how soon gender segregation starts)
      – low-key (I hate the huge over the top parties)
      – socially conscious (ask for donation instead of gift)
      – advance notice (I’m not taking the kids to a party that I had less than a week notice of).

    • avocado says:

      Do your children happen to be in kindergarten or first grade? For my kid, those were the only grades in which it was common to invite the entire class to parties. Starting in second grade, most kids invited fewer than ten of their actual friends, so the frequency became much more manageable. I also noticed that whole-class parties were more common near the beginning of the school year, when friend groups hadn’t yet been established within the class. So it won’t be this way forever.

      During those two party-heavy years, we said no to a several parties that were inconvenient, conflicted with other obligations such as sports, would make the weekend too busy, or were for kids with whom my kid wasn’t really friends. It is no big deal to say no as long as you actually RSVP in advance of the event. It is always frustrating when parents don’t RSVP until the day of the party and my kid is constantly asking me how many people are coming or whether I have heard from Suzy’s mom yet. I have learned from experience that the late RSVPs will almost invariably be no, except for one particular dad who likes to RSVP yes two hours before the party starts.

      • EB0220 says:

        Thanks! Yes, they’re 3 and 5. Older kiddo is in kindergarten.Younger kiddo just moved up to a class with 3-5 year olds. So she’s getting invites from her old class and her new class. That’s probably why it feels crazy!

  14. If the humidifer isn’t helping, can you bring the baby in the bathroom while you shower and steam out the snot? Baby hangs out in his Moses basket while I shower every morning and it does seem to help the snuffles. I also do a little baby massage as he’s nice and warm and relaxed.

  15. We recently moved and things are still a bit in chaos. I misplaced my work cell a week or so ago and have not been able to find it. It’s possible I will uncover it at home, though it’s not in all the normal places it would be. 99% sure it’s not in my office or my car (looked cursorily both places). Do I just suck it up, report it missing, and pay for a replacement? I have never lost anything like this and feel like a huge idiot. I kept saying to myself I’d find it before my work trip next week, but that’s not happening. Do I just bite the bullet? I feel like a real dumb dumb.

    • Anonymous says:

      You need to report this as missing now. Depending on the nature of your work, there could be sensitive information on it and the company needs to do a remote wipe. Is this their equipment or a dedicated phone that you had to buy? It may or not be company policy to make employees pay for damaged company equipment, but I would strongly suspect that it is company policy to report missing or damaged files, laptops, equipment, etc.
      These things happen because we are human. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

      • Yes, it is company property – good point. I think I’m so annoyed with myself because there’s almost no chance it was stolen or lost, but I just can’t find it. So maybe it was stolen. You’re right, I should report it so they can wipe it – I didn’t think about that.

        • ElisaR says:

          i agree report it (you know you’re totally going to find it as soon as you do that…..)

    • avocado says:

      You’ve probably already thought of this, but is the locator function enabled? My employer requires us to enable Find My iPhone for precisely this reason.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Re newly pregnant- (can’t reply on my phone):
    Chiming in late to say that you have gotten great advice above already. Getting into the more superficial advice, I will say that I think May/June is the absolute best time to have a baby. I have a June baby myself and am (newly) pregnant with another June baby to be! You aren’t hugely pregnant in the winter so you can probably wear your regular winter coat. You don’t have to go through the actual summer being 9 months pregnant. AND while baby is a newborn you don’t have to worry about bundling them up, and can enjoy taking them for walks outside. These are all superficial reasons but seriously, June babies are the best!

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