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As I’ve mentioned before, I think every nursing mom needs at least one or two proper “nursing tops.” They should be functional from the dual purpose of a) letting you feed your child b) without exposing your entire breast and/or belly to the world. It’s a bonus if it looks cute with jeans, trousers, skirts, and more — all of which this $35 top looks like it will do. (PLUS, you wear it while you’re pregnant.) It’s available in this light blue and a black, sizes S-XL — at Amazon. PattyBoutik Mama Scoop Cowl Neck (L-2)Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
POSITA says
I totally don’t understand nursing tops that can be worn when you’re pregnant. When I was pregnant I didn’t need to nurse and when I was nursing I didn’t want to look pregnant. Are there really that many moms who are nursing when they’re very pregnant?
mascot says
It’s strange marketing for sure. I was still in maternity clothes for a while post-partum. Maybe they are trying to indicate that the tops are post-partum friendly and clearly the only way they can do that is use a very pregnant model.
anonmama says
I agree that I don’t want to look pregnant while nursing – any recommendations on tops/brands that are good nursing clothes that DON’T emphasize the post-baby belly? I need to start looking and just don’t know what brands/websites are good vs ones that make the postpartum pooch more noticeable.
Nonny says
Try Seraphine. I liked their nursing tops a lot, especially the bamboo ones. Soooo soft.
Elle says
This. Exactly this.
I know that tandem nursing is a thing, so yes, there are pregnant women who are still nursing. However, I think the marketing idea is look you can wear this while pregnant and after too. Well, I don’t want to wear maternity clothes. Especially now, almost 9 months later. Other than nursing tanks, I’ve had more luck with just cross front shirts or the “two-shirt” method. However, if designers would sell more nursing shirts that aren’t shaped to emphasize a belly that I no longer want or have.
Ciao, pues says
YES. (and if “you know it” were an option, I would click it now!). Banish side-ruching in nursing tops!
RDC says
YES as well. I actually just ordered this exact top and am returning it — I still have a bit of a belly, but this was huge and baggy in the stomach. Not a good look at all.
On the other hand, I had better luck with these two tops, also from Patty Botique (links to follow). Not marketed for nursing but both are nursing friendly. On the one with the buttons, the top four are functional so it opens wide enough to nurse on either side.
RDC says
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B006QT7HQY/ref=cts_ap_1_fbt?pi=SL110
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00F4KDLR0/ref=cts_ap_4_fbt?pi=SL110
Although the wrap one is a little clingier in the tummy than might be ideal.
This says
I have the short sleeved and long sleeved dress version of this shirt and LOVE them. I wore them all the time with blazers when pregnant and they fit up to the end. I also like them post partum, although I wear with spanx as they are form fitting. They are GREAT for pumping, super comfortable and wash well. I’ve also ordered directly from their website to get a color not available on Amazon with good results
Noelle says
I’m 2 weeks away from my daughter’s first birthday, which means that I’m about 2 weeks away from the end of pumping. Hooray! I’d like to get myself a present to celebrate the end of my pumping obligations. My tendency is to always get something “practical” or “useful” for myself, but on this occasion, I’m trying very hard to genuinely treat myself. Thoughts? I’d like to keep it to around $200.
Maddie Ross says
I personally would get jewelry – maybe a necklace – that together celebrates the meeting of your goal AND your daughter’s birthday. But then, jewelry is always my answer of this type of question. Celebrate something? Jewelry! And maybe champagne.
BethC says
I’m already thinking about this, even though I’m 6 months out from my baby’s first birthday. Right now, I am thinking about buying a really nice small tote so I can retire the black nylon Medela bag. That thing is a surprisingly handy size, but not exactly fashionable. I can’t wait to see other suggestions!
Ciao, pues says
Nursing unfriendly dress! Something with a high-neck, a back zipper, no pull-up/ pull-down access. In a fun color or material that you do not have to be afraid of spilling/ leaking on…
Spa day! Massage, mani/pedi, facial… All the things that you didn’t have time for over the last year while hunched over at your desk…
A slim leather bag that couldn’t even begin to imagine fitting a pump inside…
Congrats from someone who just passed this milestone and very very happy about it.
Burgher says
I bought myself all new bras.
(former) preg 3L says
Someone on the main page suggested a fancy watch as an end-of-pumping gift to yourself, to commemorate how much time you put in and to give you something beautiful and practical that you can gaze at. Sounded like a great balance of practical/fancy to me.
Frozen Peach says
PSA to pregnant ladies– I just bought this maternity blazer last week and it is my new favorite thing ever. Machine washable, fits really well over my ginormous front, and works out to about $27 with their current 40% off discount. Since most maternity blazer’s I’ve seen are cut horribly and are at least a few hundred dollars, I’m in love.
[Ed. note: Link was deleted because it was broken, sorry!]
PregAnon says
Had my 9 week 4 days ultrasound yesterday…could hear the heartbeat and everything…
Ok, I know everyone says that’s the first time it felt real, or they fell in love, or whatever…but all I could think of was, “wow, I really am a walking incubator!” I’m terrible, I know. Doc assures me that I will be in a much better frame of mind after the exhaustion and morning (all day!) sickness fades.
RR says
I felt very similarly to you. You aren’t terrible. It’s not an indication of how much you will love your children. Promise.
mascot says
Yep. You don’t have to like the pregnancy phase or the newborn phase or the teenage phase or whatever. You will still love your child in your own way and own time.
JJ says
I HATED being pregnant. I never felt that magical connection to my baby. I was happy to see they were healthy in the ultrasounds, but that was about it. I promise how you feel now has absolutely no bearing on how much you will love your baby.
sfg says
This!
Nonny says
+2. What happened to the “You know it” button we had?
FVNC says
I had the magical unicorn of easy, smooth pregnancies and I *still* didn’t feel those things toward my baby until well after she arrived. I promise you’re not terrible. Hope you start feeling better soon!
Kathryn says
Ha. My reaction was more “Oh man, this is really happening. ” I mean the 9 weeks of constant flu feeling was a sign, but that made it REAL. which was…not a magical feeling.
RDC says
Yeah. I hated being pregnant even though I didn’t have a particularly difficult pregnancy. I was also terrified of the infant stage but it’s actually been better than I imagined. I’m not a particularly magical moon-eyes person but I think my baby is pretty cool. And definitely the cutest.
Katala says
For me, while the early ultrasound was exciting, it didn’t feel very “real” until the nuchal scan at around 14 wks, when the picture really looked like a little human. And I didn’t really feel any bond until I felt movement around 18 weeks. Now 27 weeks and it feels real, but I still waver often between excitement, fear, disbelief and a million other things. I think any way you feel is normal – and will change often thanks to those hormones!
PregLawyer says
Exactly this for me! No real bond with it – didn’t even really feel pregnant – until I started feeling movement at 18 weeks. Just had the 20-week ultrasound today and found out I’m having a little boy. I have no idea what I think about that. As with all this pregnancy stuff, it will take me time to process. Right now I just focus on getting through each week. :)
Katala says
Congrats!! I’m having a boy too! For some reason it was a shock – after the us, I was kind of dazed and wandered into a store and bought some tiny brown loafers. It took a couple of weeks of looking at them every day for it to really sink in, not sure why!
mascot says
It sinks in even less for fathers I think. We were out shopping one day while I was pregnant and DH actually asked if we could buy a stuffed animal for the baby. Um yes, dear. It’s your child. Feel free to buy it what you want. I don’t think it became real for him until he was actually holding our child.
sfg says
“Walking incubator” is exactly how I think society treats pregnant women, irrespective of how you personally feel about being pregnant. Someone else here recommended the Pregnant Chicken website for their particular brand of irreverent humor (your baby is the size of a chihuahua!), and I think you might also enjoy it.
(former) preg 3L says
I also like to recommend the pregnancy calendar on Alphamom — so great!!!
PregAnon says
Thanks everyone! Having a particularly difficult week (again) with crazy co-worker…so all of this helps a TON! Headed over to check out Alphamom and Pregnant Chicken…
MomAnon4This says
No, I totally feel like that with ultrasounds. And even the fetus thing.
Now that it’s moving, I’m more “attached” but it’s still weird to talk about or get that email – This week your baby is as big as a 1.5 pound eggplant!
And I think – really? Wow – what would this say in a metric company? Do people get weekly updates on other things growing inside their bodies? I bet a chemo patient would like updates like that on her tumor shrinking.
So. Weird.
HSAL says
Well, got both lines on the pregnancy test last night, so I guess I’m in this. Spent all morning reviewing the old CMoms posts, of course. :)
buffybot says
Congratulations!
Katala says
Yay, congrats!
sfg says
Congratulations!
PregLawyer says
Congrats!!!
Newly pregnant says
Congrats!!
OCAssociate says
Congratulations!
Lyssa says
After an induction and about 12 hours of labor, my little sister had a gigantic baby (like, seriously huge) last night around 8:30. I feel sort of bad, because I told her several times that my (planned, no labor/pushing, normal sized baby) c-section was pretty comfortable (I never even took the narcotics that they offered, just the high-powered ibuprofen), but she is apparently in a lot of pain and finding the pain meds not strong enough – she says that she is having a hard time eating and holding the baby. I know that it’s still pretty early, and she’s probably dealing with this on top of practically no sleep for the past 48 hours, but is there anything I can tell her? I told her to talk to the nurses about the pain and about finding easier ways to hold the baby, and that the first 24 hours are likely the worst, but I’d like to offer more help if I can.
Lyssa says
She had the baby via c-section – I just noticed that I forgot to say that.
Chi Squared says
I also did not have a lot of post c-section pain, but I thought the velcro support corset was helpful in keeping me from using my abs too much. Hospital supplied.
CPA Lady says
+1 on the abdominal support binder being very helpful. That and Percocet, which I took for about a week. I had no interest in trying to tough it out or be a martyr, and I think that really helped my recovery. I felt almost totally fine within a week, but I still got really tired from walking around for a couple of months after the C-section.
Basically tell her to take it easy. I think folks who try to push through and do too much too soon end up hurting themselves.
Nonny says
I had a similar experience to your sister after my C-section, which was complicated by the fact that I also had a bad experience with the anaesthesia. It will get easier for sure. Make sure she takes the pain meds the nurses give her on schedule – they are not going to give her anything that will hurt the baby, and they will help her a lot. Having anything touch her wound right now will probably be very uncomfortable – I found the soft postpartum underwear that the hospital gave me was absolutely the best thing ever for the first couple of weeks. Finally, make sure she eats well – her body needs nourishment to heal itself.
ETA: If she is having a hard time eating, can you bring her some non-hospital food that she will love? Special smoothies? Her favourite soup?
NewMomAnon says
Needing hugs…I went down to a reduced billing goal after my baby was born, and now I want to increase my billing goal. I am at work every day, the entire work day, just not getting enough hours to hit a higher bililng goal. So I talked with some of the higher ups about how to increase my workflow…and they basically told me that I need to keep doing the same things that I’m doing, that my reduced billing goal really hurt me because people don’t see me as available, that it’s going to be really hard to increase my hours, and the economy is down….and I’m so bummed. I think I had wanted a hug and reassurance that it could be done and not to worry, everything would be all right. And instead I got a big dose of reality with some blaming and no real plan or assistance.
I had put together a marketing plan before the meeting, but we didn’t even touch on it. *sigh*
Lorelai Gilmore says
Ugh, that’s so hard. Maybe you should focus on some internal marketing – being an ambassador for yourself, telling people that you’re back on a full-time schedule, telling people you want work. I did this after a maternity leave and within a few months was so busy I couldn’t keep up. Tell people you are available and you want the projects.
And good luck.
Frozen Peach says
Are there other female partners or senior folks who might be sympathetic to this particular issue because they’ve been through it themselves, and so more likely to send work your way? I’d start with them.
Katala says
Do you want to increase your goal because you’re there all the time anyway or for other reasons? If you feel like you should get paid full time given the hours you’re at the office (I would totally feel that way), can you reduce the hours you spend there and increase personal time while still being responsive if the work does come in? You might feel better about not being able to officially increase if you actually work less, at least you’re getting something out of it.
NewMomAnon says
I’m actually about to go through a divorce, and I’d like to hit the cutoff for benefits since I won’t be on my husband’s plans anymore…and the extra money would be really helpful since the child support calculation in my state means I pay him even though I do 90% of the parenting (this sounds like I’m bitter, but I actually think it’s a fair calculation since it’s basically chipping in for my share of daycare and health insurance).
But there is also a certain element of “I’m paying for full-time daycare and putting in the effort to be a full time employee, I’d like to be compensated accordingly.” I had initially tried being out of the office more, but it was a disaster – no work, and when I did have work it was hard to manage short turnarounds and projects that came up while I was out of the office with my kiddo.
Katala says
Sorry you’re going through such a rough time. It sounds like the last thing you need is an unsupportive workplace. Wish I had more useful advice. You have my sympathies and I hope it all works out soon.
NewMomAnon says
Yes, that is good to remember – I’m beating myself up about my work performance, instead of just getting through the awfulness of divorce and utilizing my resources. My employer has been sort of passively supportive – not inquiring too much about my low hours, letting me come and go as needed, trying to pass low-commitment projects to me. So I mostly feel supported, I’m just frustrated that I can’t dive back into the thick of things to distract myself.
Bathtime for Older Babies says
How do you guys give your older babies a bath? Our guy is 10 mo and crawling. We are still giving him a bath in the little baby tub on the kitchen counter because we are so used to that routine. At times it is a comedy of errors because he just wants to try to climb out of it while we try to keep him inside it. Did you use any tub/accessory/etc to transition to the big bathtub? He is so wiggly and I picture him flailing back and hitting his noggin on the hard bathtub. My mom bought us an inflatable ducky thing (link to follow) but I would rather not have to inflate and deflate something every night before bath time. Thanks!
Bathtime for Older Babies says
https://www.google.com/shopping/product/17099785761574140929?safe=active&biw=1400&bih=740&sclient=psy-ab&q=munchkin+duck+tub&oq=munchkin+duc&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.85464276,d.aWw&pf=p&sugexp=ehm_nts12000&gs_rn=61&gs_ri=psy-ab&tok=HL97HkgK0aTwxXyEOtQDgQ&cp=12&gs_id=9w&xhr=t&tch=1&ech=13&psi=j07aVI3gLoeUyQT1tILwCQ.1423593104007.1&sa=X&ei=k07aVK6dG8KiNrT6gfAN&sqi=2&ved=0CIMBELkk
Burgher says
Once our son outgrew his baby bathtub we just put him in the tub with a squishy non slip mat that suctions to the bottom of the tub. The only annoying part is that you have to hang it to dry afterward, and even then it will still get icky and moldy and need replaced every so often. They are pretty cheap though. We also bought a cover for the faucet so he didn’t bang his head off of that.
Nonny says
Ditto, except that the mat we bought is designed in such a way that we don’t need to dry it after every use – it has aeration holes in it. So far so good. I think we started putting our daughter in the big bath when she was about 4 months old! She absolutely loves splashing around in the bathtub and isn’t happy until ALL her bath toys are in there with her.
JJ says
Exactly this. We put a non-slip mat down, put a whale-shaped rubber thing over the bath spout so the babies wouldn’t hit their heads on it, and just let them sit up in the bath. They love baths now. Like, I say it’s bath time and they drop their toys and sprint to the bathroom level love them.
Lyssa says
We just put ours in the regular bathtub, and kept the water fairly shallow, once he was able to sit on his own. No special equipment. I think that they pretty much understand that they can’t flail around and hit things too much. That, or he joined one or both of us in the shower, which worked really well (and is still his favorite thing in the world).
That duck thing is adorable, but I agree – I would never be able to bring myself to inflate and deflate it on a regular basis.
Katarina says
We took baths together with the baby sitting on my lap. We started much earlier, though. Maybe use some bath toys to make it fun.
JMDS says
We just switched from the 4Moms tub to a Stokke flexi bath tub for our 10 month old. He is a mover also, and so far it is keeping him contained while not wasting a ton of water by filing the whole tub. We flip it over and sort of hang it over the tub to dry, and then it folds up so we can tuck it away by the sink. So far I am really happy with it. We only have 1 small bathroom, and it hides away well. We also got the 4Moms spout cover which also tells the temp. Maybe not needed for everyone, but I have a high tolerance for hot water and it comes out PIPING hot from our faucets so it is worth it for us.
Newly pregnant says
@JMDS – the folding aspect of the Stokke flexi tub is really appealing given my small bathroom. In hindsight, would you have started with that tub with a newborn (with the newborn insert) or was the 4Moms tub worth it? The Stokke tub seems to have far fewer reviews than 4Moms, and all of our friends love the 4Moms one.
Kathryn says
If you are looking for a folding tub for infants, all my apartment dwelling friends LOVE the Puj Tub. We’re still a few months away from needing it, but the rave reviews (and little hole so I can hang it to dry!) have me convinced.
RR says
We loved our Puj. Just be warned that it only works when they are small, and for my giant baby (almost 9 lbs at birth and always 90th percentile for height/weight) that meant we outgrew it quickly.
Newly pregnant says
I’ve looked at the Puj, but I’m a little concerned about both whether my baby will outgrow it quickly, as well as the height of our faucets. Plus, I feel like our sink is never clean enough that I would want to wash my baby in it. In an ideal world, I’d have a product that could last longer than just an infant tub, so the Stokke with the newborn insert might be a good choice for us.
noob says
I really wanted to like the Puj, but we used it twice — it just didn’t work with our sinks unless one of us was holding the baby with both hands the entire time. I do however, LOVE the Fisher Price whale tub. I can bath baby and have a free hand while doing so, since she can recline on it.
JMDS says
4moms tubs is worth it! Especially for me as a first time mom with no newborn experience it just made me so much less nervous about bath time. Baby was right at my level and well supported and I knew I wouldn’t scald him because of the temperature gauge. I wish we could have kept him in that thing forever, but he was getting comically large for it.
We looked at the puj but our sink is large so I just didn’t get how that would work without me supporting it.
Elle says
We were given that exact duck thing. We don’t deflate it each time. We flip it to dry and then it either stays in the bathroom or gets moved to the guest room until its next use.
Maddie Ross says
We also had the ducky and LOVED it. We kept it inflated – and honestly, it never seemed like it needed to have more air put in it. We hung to dry on the wall (ours had a little suction cup) but as long as you dump out and turn over, it mostly dried on its own. Also second the spout cover. We moved our LO to a regular bathtub around 15 months – she was little though and we were getting ready to put our house on the market so wanted to get rid of all extraneous stuff like the duck. We got a Puj spout cover from Amazon and are really happy with it.
Tunnel says
This. It is also fantastic for travel, because you can deflate and easily pack it.
mascot says
I’ve seen some really cute pictures of kids sitting in laundry baskets in the tub. No idea if they work very well. We’ve used a non-slip suction mat for a few years and it seems to work. When it gets gross, I just toss it in the washer with a load of towels.
Carrie M says
We got a hand-me-down seat from a neighbor that has been working well. It looks like a booster seat and has an arm that attaches to the side of the tub. I think it’s by Safety First.
We tried just putting her in the big tub on a mat, but she is too much of a climber / thrasher for that to work for us. Plus it takes me a long time to comb through her hair, and the seat keeps her relatively still and contained while I work out the tangles.
anon eagle says
I bathe my 10 month old and 2 year old in the bath tub together with no special equipment. After a few scary under water flops the first week, the 10 month old goes just fine splashing and playing with her big sis. From age 7-13 months my older daughter enjoyed sitting on the shower floor while I took my shower. I used my body to block the water from spraying her in the face.
Anonyc says
For older kids we used bath seats–round, with suction cups on the bottom. That worked to contain live-action kids. With my current 9-mo-old, who takes her bath most days with her sister, I also just put the two of them in together and keep the water low. We have little decals on the floor of the tub to help the slippery factor. Baby loves the bath, and as she’s getting older, loves messing around with her big sis.
Lorelai Gilmore says
My sister swears by this (or some equivalent product):
http://www.youngexplorers.com/itemdy00.aspx?T1=Y131258&utm_source=shoppingcom&utm_medium=comparison&utm_campaign=datafeed&srccode=NXCYC2