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I’m still really happy with my Pivotte cardigan I bought a long time ago, but if you’re looking for a less edgy version of a nice, pretty cardigan that’s not in a jersey, this one (in linen, viscose, and rayon) is a good bet. People really love NIC+ZOE — their four-way convertible cardigan is extremely popular. In this style, I like the details on the shoulders and the back. The cardigan comes in this heather gray, black, and a light, bright blue called “water,” and in plus sizes it’s available in blue opal. The regular-size version (XS-XL) is $148 and the plus, $168. NIC+ZOE Sleek Spark Open Cardigan Here’s a lower-priced option and an alternative in plus sizes. (L-all)Sales of note for 4.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
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- Zappos – 29,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – Up to 70% off baby items; 50% off toddler & kid deals & 40% off everything else
- Hanna Andersson – Up to 50% off spring faves; 25% off new arrivals; up to 30% off spring
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off kids’ spring-to-summer styles
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Third trimester fatigue says
Any tips for balancing work + third trimester fatigue (I’m 31 weeks for reference — not anemic) ? Or maybe I’m just looking for commiseration. I’m doing OK getting through the work day but exhausted and miserable by the time I get home every night. I wake up every 1-2 hours to use the bathroom and I feel like it’s never enough sleep. I did read that a lot of people are horribly tired from 28-32 weeks and then feel a tiny bit better for a few more weeks. Taking a nap at work/in car isn’t an option — this feels like the first trimester all over again! DH is incredibly helpful so I don’t have to do much in the way of household tasks.
H says
I drank tea and took lots of walks around the office, or outside if it was a nice day. When I got home, I pretty much parked it on the couch for the evening.
Anon says
7-12 weeks and then ~28-33 just kicked my @ss. I was so tired, I collapsed into bed as soon as I got home. There’s no trick to balancing, you just realize this isn’t going to be for the entire 9 months and come to peace with going to bed at 7pm. The house may fall apart for a little while, but it’s temporary.
Talking walks, even around the office floor, helped a little. Staying really well hydrated helped too. But growing a baby is hard work. Sometimes it takes most of the energy you can muster, so you just go into survival mode and take it day by day.
Anonymous says
Yeh I keep reading that for whatever reason the beginning of the third trimester is tiring…Weird!
Anonymous says
Ditto. Short walks outside are helpful, and give yourself permission to go to bed as early as possible. Also, is it really not possible to take a nap at work? I had an officemate when pregnant and literally napped on the floor in our office when she was out for meetings when I was super tired.
Lyssa says
I found giving myself 10 minutes to just put my feet up and lean back in a chair and close my eyes to be pretty helpful, if you can get away with that.
Anonymous says
Agree with the above – just take care of yourself. I had some guilt toward the end of my pregnancy because I was exhausted when I got home from work and literally didn’t want to do anything besides sit on the couch. I had no interest in eating so DH was on his own for dinner most nights. It was helpful for me to remember that I was GROWING A HUMAN BEING, which is kind of a big deal. So no real tips, other than don’t let the guilt get to you. It will be over soon, and you’ll be experiencing a whole new type of exhaustion :)
New Mom says
Third semester is hard! Take a walk after work and then park yourself on the couch. Sleep as much as you can on the weekends. Eat smaller portions more often. Tea and fruits gave me lots of energy. Treat yourself with a prenatal massage-it does wonders. You are almost there.
Pogo says
I’m first tri, but the only thing that helps is being productive when I can. For me that’s 8:30-2pm. After that I’m pretty useless. I still “work” the rest of the afternoon, and I come home and putter around but I haven’t been cooking or doing anything of value, lol. At least getting in those ~6 hours of productivity helps me stay on top of work. I luckily work with a lot of Europeans so I can get quite a bit accomplished in the early morning hours!
As far as the evenings, I think there’s really no shame in falling asleep on the couch immediately after dinner. That’s what I’ve been doing.
Amerie says
I could have written this post. I’m 35 weeks with a 20 month old and am finding it so hard to stay energized and focused at work, especially after 1. There’s great tips here, quick walks around the office or outside definitely help me get through the afternoon slumps. I’ve also let go of the guilt over not having a perfectly clean house and letting my toddler watch way more tv than the experts recommend, just so I can put my feet up in the evenings after work. It is hard work cooking a baby, so go easy on yourself and just do the best you can. Nobody seems to talk about third trimester exhaustion but for me it is just as bad as the first!
Anonymous says
Good morning! Need some advice. Currently living in the burbs (NY Metro area) but work in NYC. I’m due in June and trying to decide if I should keep my OB in NYC (and deliver in Manhattan) or switch to an OB in the burbs and deliver there (NJ). My commute is about an hour and 15 minutes door to door. Benefit of Manhattan: easier to get to Dr appointments during the duration of pregnancy, love my OB, and if I go into labor at work I can get to the hospital in 20 mins. Benefit of burbs: can actually get a private room at hospital, husband can sleep over without paying 1k per night of hospital stay, and if I actually go into labor at home I can be at the hospital in 20 mins.
Has anyone been in this situation? This is my second, so I have a feeling that when labor comes it could be quick
Sarabeth says
Burbs, no question. I’d go with that just based on travel time. For me, both labors went from “this is probably labor” to “insanely painful” very quickly, so I’d want to minimize car time just so I didn’t have to wait an extra 40 minutes for the epidural. Even if you aren’t going for an epidural, a lot more comfort measures are available when you aren’t stuck in a car.
Throw in the private room, and it’s a no brainer to me.
Sarabeth says
This assumes that you can work from home starting at 38 weeks or so, which seems reasonable given the length of the commute anyway!
Anonymous says
This is a tricky one. I tentatively vote NJ, because the hospital stay business is a pain and expensive. (I had my baby in Manhattan, but I lived in Manhattan.) If you do decide to switch, I suggest doing so sooner rather than later, because I think OBs become reluctant to take on new patients the farther along they are in their pregnancies.
anne-on says
Switch to NJ. Closer to home is just so much easier for your husband with a first child, and the private room makes it a no-brainer to me.
EB0220 says
I think I’d do NJ as well and use it as a reason to work from home when you hit about 36 weeks. That will make your life a lot more comfortable. And I think you’re more relaxed at home, and more likely to go into real labor there anyway than at the office. No way would I want an hour and 15 min between me and the hospital on my 2nd kid.
Betty says
Agree with the others who have said the burbs. I was also told (and it was true for me both times) that women tend to go into labor in the afternoon and overnight.
Closet Redux says
My midwife told me that most first time moms go into labor in the evening/ overnight. It was true for me too, both times.
Anononymous says
I went into labor at 2 in the afternoon. (Only have one so far). Was really glad, because I was in Manhattan at the time and had been planning on leaving work early and going back to Brooklyn. Not during rush hour, home was 20 minutes from the hospital downtown. But during rush hour? It would have been easier to walk. (I did walk to the hospital actually, but across lower Manhattan is different than walking across the bridge.)
Anon in NYC says
NJ, definitely. I’m sure you plan to work up until the end, but what if you had to go on bedrest? And thinking about those weekly visits to the doctor by the end… Getting to the doctor would be a pain.
Anonymous says
Thanks ladies. Very helpful! I delivered my first in Manhattan (but lived in the city) and to be honest was not that impressed with the facilities. Having to share a room was OK, but sending my husband home and staying there by myself, exhausted, with the baby, was not great.
anon says
I also vote for delivering in NJ. God forbid something happens and your baby is in the NICU for a bit, it will be much better not commuting into the city to see him/her. Sorry to bring this up and of course it is very unlikely; I’m just speaking from experience. (My son inhaled meconium at birth and needed IV antiobiotics for a week. He’s 100% fine!)
Pogo says
Yep, I had this conversation with my mentor yesterday. Her kiddo was in the NICU (again, kiddo is totally fine now) and she said the commute to NICU in the city would be a brutal additional to an already stressful time.
Meg Murry says
I would also vote for the burbs because of the drive time + second kid. If you go into labor in the middle of the night, unless you have a live-in nanny/au pair/grandparent you are first going to have to call someone to get your oldest or take him/her somewhere – so add probably an hour before you could even leave for the 1+ hour drive to the hospital.
Another monkey wrench for logistics – does your husband also work in NYC? If you went with the burbs and went into labor when he was at work, how would you get to the hospital?
All that said, there are women who show up in the labor and delivery ward of all hospitals having never had a bit of prenatal care (or having had it all with a doctor in a completely different area), and one of the on-call doctors delivers it. Not ideal, but probably not the worst idea in the world to come up with your Plan B options if you switch to the burbs but then start a fast labor at work and end up in NYC or vice versa.
Anonymous says
NJ. While some people’s labors progress quickly, a lot of first time mom’s don’t. So it’s unlikely that you will need to go straight from work to the hospital. You’ll have some lead time to get home and you’ll most likely HAVE to labor at home for a bit before going to the hospital (they’ll send you home if you’re less than 4-5cm dialated). You don’t want to have to debate “should I go home or should I deal with contractions at work”. Also second the comment about the NICU possibility, you just never know how things will go.
blue says
As it’s your second, what is your plan for your older child when you deliver? I imagine the kid will stay in NJ, so that’s an extra reason for you to deliver there.
Anonymous says
Grandma will come watch older child, but lives an hour away. We have lots of local friends who would help out in an emergency. Good points about the NICU. Sounds like NJ is the way to go. My only concern is going into labor at work and having to go cold turkey into a hospital in Manhattan. But, the other benefits seem to point towards the burbs.
Betty says
My advice would be that if you do go into labor while at the office, do not wait one minute before heading out. I know its not true for all, but with my second, I could actually tell the difference between a warm up contraction and a contraction that had bite. And there is no shame in a false alarm, if you think you may be headed towards labor, err on the side of staying home or going back to NJ.
Almost fully baked says
My job and home are in different locations, so I just registered at both hospitals and saw two OBS. Went to the one closer to work regularly and checked in periodically at the one closer to home. Now at 38 weeks, settling into working from home, so the OB and hospital close to home get me from now on. They all looked at me like I was crazy at first, but it really hasn’t been a problem.
Anonymous says
This is genius! Was insurance willing to cover both???
Almost fully baked says
I didn’t have any insurance problems. I did have to pay both co-pays to the OBs up front for the delivery fee but am getting a refund now that I know which one is delivering.
Winter skin says
I have a ton of friends who live in oyster bay who gave birth in the city. It seems surprisingly common. With the first baby, you should have time to get into the city
Anon in NYC says
What are your favorite outwear brands for kids? I’ve been struggling to find warm jackets and also rain gear for my daughter. She seems to really hate big puffy coats and protests every time I put one on her.
EBMom says
Patagonia. The coats may look a bit puffy, but I think they fit well and they compress nicely, especially the down sweater or the nanopuff. I usually have 2 or 3 for each year and just pull the one that is most appropriate for warmth level needed that day.
Betty says
LLBean and Patagonia have lines of the thin but very warm puffy jackets.
CHJ says
I like LL Bean and Patagonia for thin-but-warm primaloft jackets. And Baby Gap – they make a big puffy jacket that my son and all of his friends have. For rain gear, Hatley is nice for rain coats and rain boots.
NewMomAnon says
Lands End had a packable coat and lists the warmth ratings for all their jackets. They were running a ridiculous outerwear sale, but it might be over now.
anne-on says
Patagonia for puffy jackets, they condense down to almost nothing and are safe to wear under car seat straps. For rain coats we either do Boden, LLBean, or Patagonia, depending entirely on what I can get on the best sale, quality seems equal for all 3 brands.
anne-on says
Oh, and if you haven’t gotten these yet my kiddo LOVES turtle fur mufflers, and they are just so much easier to keep on kids than scarves.
CPA Lady says
Wow, all this agreement on Patagonia for toddlers/little kids?? I’m too stingy to even buy Patagonia for myself, though I do pine over it! That said, I just checked and there is a bunch of it on 6pm dot com for those of you who want to buy it for your kids at a reduced price.
Closet Redux says
Ditto! My fast-growing kid gets coats from Costco.
AnonMN says
Saves us a lot of sanity when it comes to hauling two in carseats to and from daycare everyday (as they can wear them in the carseat), so for me it is worth the price of my sanity. Plus the excellent quality means hand me downs for my younger, and hopefully future babies (that’s how I try to justify it . . .)
Betty says
We are in the same boat. It gets cold enough here that the standard advice about layering, going sans jacket, or taking the jacket on and off before buckling does not work some days. If there is a Patagonia or LLBean outlet, they can be great places to find these jackets.
anon says
Yeah, I’m too cheap for these, and I admit I sometimes put my kid in his carseat with his puffy down coat. (We don’t drive on a daily basis though). I usually get coats on Ebay and look for anything from a recognizable brand that is down filled. This year, it’s Gap; last year I think was Land’s End. I have a friend who swears by The Children’s Place’s 3 in 1 jackets, which are very affordable on sale. We had one when my son was younger and it didn’t seem that warm to me, but my friend’s daughter is old enough to complain if she’s cold. I just feel more comfortable with the warmth-factor of down. For raingear we have an iPlay rain coat I really like – very affordable. It isn’t insulated at all, but my son can fit his light jacket under it or a fleece if needed.
JTX says
For rain gear: North Face (my kids have the tailout jackets, which are not warm but are waterproof), Marmot
I’d probably look at REI dot com and Backcountry dot com to see what’s available and on sale.
AnonMN says
Plus one for Patagonia. The fact that it is usable in the car seat is enough for me to fork over the money. We only have experience with the nanopuffs, which have been awesome for us. I size up and got two years of wear out of last year’s coat.
Momata says
Are these Patagonia puffers really warm enough for a cold Mid-Atlantic day? I’ve been using the Lands End parka/fleece combos and kid has been wearing both the water/windproof outer puffy layer and the inner fleece for weeks. Is the Patagonia nanopuff/down sweater as warm as this?
Betty says
We have the LLBean version for our oldest and I have the adult version. They keep us both warm on cold New England days, like earlier this week when it was down to -5 F.
AnonMN says
We live in MN, where it’s going to be negative 15 without windchill tonight. We’ve always used Patagonia nano puff and my son has never complained of being cold. We do layer appropriately when it is very cold (shirt plus sweatshirt plus jacket). My kids are little hot bodies though, so there’s that to consider.
EP-er says
We walk to school & live in the upper mid-west. We get our kids’ winter gear at a ski place — this year it is Jupa, but we have used Snow Dragons, Spyder, & Columbia in the past. The neck warmers are a great invention! For rain gear & fleeces, we usually get Columbia.
Anon in NYC says
Thanks, all! I will check these out.
Also, I just really appreciate this community. I feel like you ladies help me “mom” better.
EB0220 says
We wear “serious” outdoor gear. LL Bean has great fleeces that we have gotten years of wear out of. Almost everything else we have is from REI: raincoats (high quality breathable waterproof), mittens, gloves, snow pants. They have some nice fleeces, too, but we have two girls and the LL Bean fleeces have seriously lasted forever. We’ve had good luck with long underwear from Patagonia and REI. Smartwool socks.
EB0220 says
Wow, this sounded really annoying. When I said we were “serious” gear, I just meant that we want our kids to wear the same quality gear we do so we know they’re comfortable outside. Didn’t mean to sound condescending at all. We just spend a lot of time outside so willing to pay for the gear.
NewMomAnon says
I didn’t take it as annoying – I was really struggling about finding actually warm socks for my daughter, and kept at it because I knew she would never go outside in the winter if her feet were cold. High quality gear is important for comfort!
And as an aside, Lands End had a good deal on kids long underwear. I discovered over the holiday break that my kiddo will tolerate hours outside in the snow with wool socks and good long underwear (and then sleep, blessed sleep). I haven’t used their long underwear before (kiddo has smartwool longjohns now), but hopefully it’s good.
Anon in NYC says
I didn’t think this sounded annoying! We’re in the city and don’t spend a lot of time in the car, but do spend a lot of time outside at playgrounds and in the park and walking, so need high quality gear. I’m willing to spend more money on something that can be passed down to a future kiddo too!
Withtatertot says
Any recommendations for a great robe for postpartum? I’m 35 weeks pregnant with my first and plotting what I might want to wear those first few weeks. I have a silk kimono but I’m think that won’t cut it with a February baby in the Northeast US.
Also, what do people wear to sleep when nursing winter babies?? I normally wear cotton shorts and a big t-shirt, because we sleep under a very warm duvet. I was planning on baggy, deep v-neck tshirt, and just pull the neckline down, but would love to hear what worked for others. I have heard button-up pajama tops recommended, but am not sold that buttons would be comfortable, especially since I’m looking forward to sleeping on my stomach again!
Anonymous says
Nursing tanks with long, flowy sweater cardigans or zip up sweatshirts. Anything open front will work because you can nurse but keep yourself covered up. And the nursing tanks are key so you can use nursing pads to avoid leakage. Fun stuff!
NewMomAnon says
A washable robe is the best kind of robe postpartum. Between spit up, leaking, and sweat (so much sweat, impervious to deodorant), you want to be able to wash and dry that robe. Consider one with a couple pockets for carrying necessities (spit up rags, pacifiers, water bottle/snack for yourself, phone, etc). And I would choose a shorter style, largely because I’m short and worried about tripping over the longer ones when walking up and down stairs holding baby.
To bed, I always wore a nursing tank, my regular pajama pants, and maybe a cardigan or loose t-shirt over the tank – I didn’t like buttons because my fingers were still swollen and I found it hard to work them, but whatever works for you. Make sure you have a bunch, whatever you get – at least the first few weeks, I sweated so much that I would wake up clammy and want to change before nursing kiddo. And my kiddo spit up like it was her job, so there were usually 3-4 wardrobe changes a day.
One thing I avoided postpartum was zip-up hoodies, which are usually a big part of my casual/lounging wardrobe. I didn’t like smushing kiddo’s face into the zipper. Buttons didn’t bother me after the finger swelling subsided.
Anonymous says
Yes to washable and pockets for the robe! Also, darker color ideally for the same reason.
Lyssa says
Agreed with all that! And not just spit up – newborns often have sudden and forceful, er, releases while you are changing their diapers. You will get pooped on. I wore lightweight pj pants or shorts and a nursing tank, to sleep, and used an old, heavy, burgundy terrycloth robe (from Victoria’s Secret, but I would definitely buy cheaper if I were buying new). Yoga or sweatpants are also good for sleeping – basically, it’s a good idea to just wear something that you can sleep in all of the time, and just change clothes whenever they get dirty.
Closet Redux says
Nursing sleep bra, nursing tank with a pull-down neck (as opposed to clip down) and a cardigan is most comfy for me. The fewer clasps and buttons the better– I stay practically asleep when I night nurse!
Warning from a fellow stomach sleeper– I am still not able to sleep on my stomach while nursing because my b o o b s are so full and sore. I honestly cant remember when I was able to go back to stomach sleeping with my first!
TK says
Yup. I couldn’t lie comfortably on my front the entire time while I was nursing. When I tried it took 8 pillows to reach my head because by enormous b**bs left a lot of daylight between my head and a flat surface.
I think I wore just a nursing bra to sleep – even in Minnesota I was so hot all of the time and baby nursed 16 hours a day anyway so there were not long stretches where clothes of any type were even necessary. I think I carried around a blanket. Hard to remember, I was so sleep deprived that most of that was a blur.
anon says
Not being able to stomach sleep after waiting for it for half of my pregnancy was one of the great disappointments of early motherhood. (And there were a few!) I can’t remember when I started again either but I think my son was closer to a year old.
I wore nursing tanks or very unsupportive nursing bras at night for a while; especially in the beginning you may want something that will hold pads to help contain leakage.
NewMomAnon says
I also should have mentioned – I had never planned to co-sleep, but it turns out that semi-sleeping side-lying nursing was the best way for me to get more than an hour of sleep at a time for the first 3-4 months. I hadn’t done any research on co-sleeping sleep safety prior to kiddo’s birth. One of the things they warn against are big, puffy comforters (which we had). I ended up sleeping with a thin cotton blanket covering me (in February, with a thyroid condition that made me so cold) when I co-slept, because that was what I had and I was too sleep deprived to think clearly enough to find a better blanket.
Which is just to say – do some quick reading now on co-sleeping safety and determine if you want to find a smaller blanket just in case you need to ditch the puffy duvet once baby comes.
HSAL says
I lived in nursing tanks 24/7 for 10 weeks. During the day I topped with zip-up hoodies – I’d planned to wear long cardigans but moms here convinced me on the zip-up hoodies because of the pocket issue. So whatever robe you get, get pockets. At night I wore the nursing tanks and underwear and baby slept in or right next to the bed. I couldn’t have had my bosoms untethered at night and been remotely comfortable. My favorite sleep tank was the wrap-style nursing tank from Target. It pulled down and was much more comfortable/easier than fiddling with the clips. Confession – I still wear it and I’ve been done nursing for 9 months.
H says
I did not find the buttons on button up pajamas shirts uncomfortable at all. I also found some supersoft long sleeved nursing shirts from Gap that were comfy for sleeping.
Butter says
Echoing the nursing tanks/nursing bras. For me I needed to have something form fitting on my chest to help with nursing soreness and vasospasms. Much much better than a loose-fitting shirt – that makes me cringe just thinking about it. Plus lanolin etc gets everywhere. I liked the H&M mama tanks and Target nursing tanks for sleeping.
I had a couple of robes but ended up in a zip hoodie or long cardigan more often than not. Apartment was kept warm – I had a winter baby and he lived in just a onesie and blanket for the first three months. Who’s got time for pants?
Anonymous says
Loved H&M nursing tanks – held up well in many, many wash cycles (see above re: newborns spitting up, etc.) and were easy to unlatch using one hand. And super cheap!
rosie says
Nordstrom Rack had some amazing looking & feeling robes last time I was there. They had a shorter (knee-length) one that was fleecey and sweatshirt material, w/pockets, that seemed great–although I would probably plan to wear pants with it as I would be cold with that length otherwise.
Anonymous says
Yes on the nursing tanks or something tight fitting enough to hold in the nursing pads – I leaked A LOT at nighttime those first couple months, so I couldn’t just wear something baggy on top by itself. I also didn’t think I’d be cosleeping, but I did it to survive, so I echo the other thoughts on being prepared to do this out of necessity.
I have always worn robes around the house in the morning a lot and have had a lot of different styles (probably a dozen over the last decade). I find zip-up robes annoying (if you want to fall asleep in it or hold baby close to you in it, that zipper can be uncomfortable). I definitely want pockets – very handy for multiple reasons (cell phone, burp rag, carrying the baby monitor from one room to the next, etc.). I don’t like the ones I’ve had with hoods – they get in the way when it’s a thick robe material (uncomfortable when sleeping, or even behind your back in a chair). And I’ve had a few with some weird lining, seams, and/or tags inside that are itchy and annoying on bare skin – so consider examining the inside to watch for this (definitely don’t buy one from VS with metallic threads going through inside lining!). The length of the arms/cuffs is important. If you want to do dishes or even just wash your hands with the robe on, you want to be sure you can roll up the sleeves and they aren’t so puffy/fluffy that the don’t stay rolled up. Shorter lengths are okay, but I tend to like something that at least covers my knees so I don’t need a separate lap blanket if it’s chilly and I’m snuggled in a chair with the kiddo.
Anononymous says
I’m always cold so went with an LL Bean fleece lined rugby robe. It has two big patch pockets! A cardigan would never have kept me warm enough.
Also, I discovered the secret to dealing with nursing pads: Buy the thick overnight ones for around the house and use double sided clothing tape. (Also for the thinner ones when going out — I had one fall out of my bra onto a public bathroom floor. Gah!) Unfortunately I realized I needed double sided tape the same week my daughter started sleeping through the night.
Anon in NOVA says
I’m just going to say it since I didn’t see anyone else mention it.
Don’t forget that you’re going to be bleeding after birth and not able to use tampons. Leaks happen. So yes, definitely something dark and washable, as others suggested.
Anonymous says
Yes!
Also, I was sweating SO MUCH that I slept on a towel and had to change my pajama shirt at least once a night. Literally no one warned me about the sweating. It was no fun.
anne-on says
Uuuggghhh, yes, the damn sweating. I had an emergency c-section and retained SO much water from the IV, I literally had to change my sheets daily.
NewMomAnon says
Add this mama to the ranks of threenager parents. Kiddo’s teacher pulled me aside yesterday and told me she wasn’t listening, was shouting “NO!” whenever the teacher asked her to do something, and finally spit in the teacher’s face and then hit her when she tried to put kiddo in timeout. I had to admit that it was consistent with the behavior we’ve been experiencing at home, if a little more extreme – the teacher was so relieved. She thought it was just her. We said sorry this morning and talked about how her teacher loved her, and how we show respect to people who love us by using our words to tell them what we need and never hitting, spitting or shouting at them.
Soo….this weekend is going to be lots of outside exercise time and making time for Supernanny-style timeouts, even if both of us hate it.
HSAL says
Man. Anyone who doesn’t punch their child after being spit on gets a huge parenting gold star from me. Good luck!
NewMomAnon says
I was horrified at the spitting. The only thing that kept me from losing it on my kiddo was the other moms on here who have reported spitting at this age; if it’s a phase we have to go through, then I can rationally handle it this once. Next time, mama’s going to be ANGRY.
And then I remembered once as a child, thinking it would be funny if I spread my bare cheeks and farted at my mom. Her retribution was swift and unexpected. I never did it again.
Anonymous says
I absolutely laughed out loud at that. I mean, not ok, but still…
Anon in NOVA says
Oh nooooo I’m so sorry that happened!! It’s normal, but still mortifying when it happens!
BAHAHAHA oh noooooo!!!
When my son was two I somehow found myself in a position where he bare-bottom-farted into my mouth. I still can’t remember the details of how that managed to happen but it did. It was horrifying.
lsw says
Thank god I have my office door closed for pumping because I laughed so hard at both of those farting stories.
Anon says
You may want to check out Janet Lansbury for tips. Research shows that the traditional “time out” is actually isolating and can make that kind of behavior worse – because they are acting out real feelings they are having, and then being punished for them. She’s got a ton of stuff on her social media pages with really great tips we have found helpful for ours at that age!
NewMomAnon says
You know, I’ve read Janet Lansbury – her “no timeout” advice seems to be tailored to upset breakdowns and tantrums, which are not times that I would do a timeout (for many of the reasons she cites). My timeouts would be to stop a cycle of exuberance that has entered borderline out-of-control territory (climbing furniture that turns into destroying furniture, rough play that turns into painful play, art projects that turn into glitter typhoons, etc). It would be a “reset and refocus” timeout, not a punitive timeout. But she still will not like it and it will take lots of work.
SC says
What do you ladies do on the weekends to get ready for the week? On the one hand, I feel like things would run so much more smoothly if I had all the shopping done, cleaning done, dinners prepped, lunches made, etc. On the other hand, I feel like we should spend our weekends getting quality family time in, since DH, Kiddo, and I are rarely all home and awake at the same time during the week. So what’s your happy medium?
lsw says
I’ve been thinking a lot about this too. This past weekend I felt like I didn’t “do” anything (didn’t cook for the week, didn’t do a speck of laundry, no deep cleaning) but it seemed so important to actually spend time with the baby. And my husband. Would love to hear others’ thoughts.
Famouscait says
I grocery shop and do the laundry. I try to cook one meal that will let us start the week with leftovers for lunch or dinner one day (at least). I also try to squeeze random errands into the end of each work day/before daycare pickup. I can go to the post office so.much.faster on my own on a weekday afternoon, than I can with a kiddo in-tow on the weekend. That also helps me not linger and shop more when I’m returning things in a store, because I’m crunched for time (daycare pickup!)
I feel similarly that I prefer to spend my weekend time hanging with my guys, rather than do do doing. Which is also part of how we justify paying a house cleaner.
H says
I do exactly this. Laundry, meal planning, grocery shopping. Most other random errands during the week before picking LO up from daycare. I’m fortunate that there is a Target between work and daycare so I almost never have to take LO with me. Oh, I also try to pick out and iron my work clothes for the week.
I’ve been toying with the idea of a grocery delivery service. It seems that with naps, there are only 4 chunks of time on the weekends to do fun things with kiddo and one of those is always grocery shopping.
Peapod says
Peapod grocery delivery/pickup recently came to my area and I am a fanatic. One night each week, I quickly Google recipes for the following week in one web browser and in a second I have my Peapod cart and add all the ingredients as I go. I pickup groceries Sunday morning and don’t even have to go in the grocery store. It is a huge time saver! Some weeks if I have no ideas, I cheat and look at recipes for Blue Apron or Hello Fresh that week and then find something similar based on their recipes.
Other than that, I try to be relaxed. I have a list of things I like done each week (cleaning) and my husband and I try to chip away at them during the week. On the weekend, we get done anything outstanding that we feel like getting done and if something doesn’t get done, we’re OK with it. Meals are always prepped either at night after my son is in bed or in the morning before he gets up. Some of these things work well mostly because I work a traditional schedule and my husband is 2nd shift, so he’s home in the mornings without me and I’m home in the evenings without him. We worked together for years to make sure we were really only productive when the other person wasn’t home so we could enjoy our time together when we actually are together, and it’s worked well now that we have a one year old.
anne-on says
We try to preserve Sunday as our ‘stay at home day’ and that is when we finish off grocery shopping, prep meals, fold/put away laundry (or do another random load), pack up book bags for the week, menu plan, etc. I also try really hard to handle laundry on Friday and Saturday if at all possible, and my husband will often do something ‘fun’ with my son for an hour or two so I can knock out groceries/house stuff alone. If we don’t do any of this, our lives for the following week are a total wreck.
I think the mental segregation of one ‘fun’ day (Saturday) and one ‘home’ day (Sunday) is nice. We also try really hard to make Sunday a family dinner/movie night so we have one last time to cuddle/relax together before the week.
Betty says
We try and knock out a few things that make the week easier for me: (1) I pick out my clothes for the week. It makes the mornings so much less stressful and decreases the likelihood that I will wear all black, all week. (2) Husband and I meal plan and make a grocery list. He goes grocery shopping with one kiddo (generally the three year old), while I do a round of cleaning. We have a weekly housecleaner, but by Sunday mid-morning, the bathrooms and floors need some attention. (3) I do my laundry during the weekend. Au pair does her laundry and the kids’ laundry during the week. Husband does his own laundry about once a month because it makes me all ragey when we try and do it together. This generally works out to Saturday being a fun play day, while Sunday is church and get stuff done.
Anon in NYC says
One of my biggest gripes about taking a job that pays less than Biglaw is how many fewer things I can outsource. If I had the money for a regular cleaning service, life would be glorious.
Here’s what we do on the weekends, with the caveat that my kiddo usually takes a 2-3 hour nap.
Friday nights, I make a grocery list while DH and I sit on the couch and have a drink. Saturday mornings we typically go grocery shopping right after kiddo eats breakfast. During nap time on Saturday, DH does laundry and I will do some cooking/prep for the week. On Sunday during nap time I usually do food prep and DH cleans. We usually try to cook on both Saturday and Sunday evening so that I can start the week with some leftovers for lunch.
A lot of the prep I do on weekends is chopping and washing veggies for meals or getting meals to the point where all that needs to happen is that they need to be cooked (i.e., marinade or salad dressing is made, spice blend is made). I also cook the bulk of my kiddo’s staple meals on weekends. We give her leftovers from our meals too, but she has a few food items that she loves (pasta, black beans), that I like to have on hand that I can just warm up. So I’ll do things like make a tomato sauce that she loves, or make black beans, or make a muffin that she eats for breakfast. I rarely make dinner for kiddo after we get home from daycare but can have her dinner ready within 5 minutes of getting home.
CPA Lady says
Saturday morning my husband takes our daughter to the grocery store to do the shopping. While they are gone, I furiously do house triage.
Our house is never really all the way clean. But Saturday mornings, I at least work on something. I do laundry, run the roomba, swipe at the bathrooms, and usually do one other minor thing. This past Saturday I put away most of the Christmas decorations and did a little bit of dusting. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than nothing. We try to tidy up on a daily basis.
EB0220 says
I do no prep on the weekend save fold some laundry at naptime.
avocado says
On Saturdays, my husband does the laundry while I plan all meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner) for the week and do errands. I drag the kid shopping with me as a way to get some time with her. On Sundays I usually spend a couple of hours in the kitchen preparing fancy salads for Monday and Tuesday lunches, freezing the kid’s breakfasts for the week, and maybe freezing some future dinners or baking snacks or granola. The rest of the weekend is spent on school projects and cleaning whatever I have time for. Other than nice family dinners on Saturdays and Sundays, we don’t usually do much fun stuff or hang around relaxing. Every few weeks we’ll squeeze in a movie or a live performance, but that’s about it. Then every three or four weeks the kid has a sports event that takes an entire day, which throws the whole system into disarray but does provide a lot of family togetherness.
anon says
We generally do a big grocery shop and laundry on the weekends. I also try to cook 1-2 meals with several days worth of leftovers and we eat these for much of the week. Until very recently we lived in an apartment building that had a laundry room that closed at 8, making laundry during the week next to impossible. We could do it during the week now but are out of the habit. Since we are in the midst of DIY renovations and haven’t fully unpacked since moving cleaning has fallen by the wayside but ordinarily I like to clean the apartment every other weekend. My husband does about half the cooking and is able to do it more during the week; he also does laundry with me. I don’t get home until 7 so if I do anything during the week it is after my son is in bed. Lately I am doing most of these kind of chores myself; my husband is doing lots of manual labor around the house so I can’t really complain.
CPA Lady says
Piggybacking off the person above who said she once farted at her mom, do y’all have any funny stories about things you did as kids that seemed to make sense at the time, but in retrospect were hilariously foolish?
I remember listening to one of those wee sing songs on my case t t e player and there was this song with the lyric “if you laugh when you’re in trouble, it will vanish like a bubble”, and I thought it meant that if you were being yelled at or something you could laugh and everything would be fine. I was probably 6 or 7 when I had dome something wrong, my mom started yelling at me, and I started laughing in response. But she kept getting madder and madder, and by the time I realized maybe laughing was a bad idea, I had the giggles and COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING. Yeah, pretty sure I got a spanking for that.
Anon in NOVA says
HAHAHA that’s funny. It’s weird how our brains make sense of things when we’re little.
When I was 5 I found a dead bird on the front porch after an ice storm and my mother told me it froze to death. Later, I picked it up and put it in a shoe box and brought it inside to thaw, thinking it would come to life. However, being 5, I forgot about it as the day wore on. A few days later my Nanny found a dead animal in a box hidden under the couch in the play room and was understandably freaked out. I never thought much about it until I had a 5 year old of my own, and recently called my mother to say “OMG were you worried I was a serial killer?!?! what did you think had happened?” she was basically like “DUH of course I thought you were a serial killer until you explained yourself! You hid a dead animal!”
I would FREAK OUT if my kid did that.
shortperson says
my aunt showed me some old letters from an elderly relative, and one of them reported that she had dinner with my family at a restaurant and i put ice down my mother’s back. i have no memory of doing this but i’m sure i thought it was hilarious. still i cannot believe i did that. i think i was about 9 at the time. i’m sure my mother reacted mildly, but i would be really mad if my kid did this to me.
Anon in NOVA says
What was the tone in which she reported it? Was she horrified or just like “well this happened…” haha
shortperson says
she said something like “[my name] is a bright and sweet child but she did put ice down her [my mom’s name]’s back. i guess she is still a child.”
NewMomAnon says
My mom had these beautiful gold earrings made of fine filaments of various precious metals twisted around each other in an interlocking circle pattern (think like interlocking keychain rings, but pretty). I was fascinated and assumed it must be a puzzle of some kind, so one day when she left them on the kitchen table, I spent an hour and completely untwisted them in an unfixable sort of way. I think she gave me the silent treatment for a few days.
On a side note, I wish my mom had had a community like this, because she had no idea how to discipline a curious, bright, anxious kid with a high need for approval. I think she would have been a great mom if she had access to a community of thoughtful parents.
FVNC says
This reminds me of my family’s infamous diamond earring story. When I was maybe 8, I wanted to wear “adult” earrings to a friend’s birthday party. I sneaked into my mother’s jewelry box and took the smallest pair — her diamond studs. Long story short, one fell out during the course of the day (later found — hooray!) and I got in such trouble. I remember telling my parents that I only took them because they were so small, and I may or may not have told my father that he should have bought my mother bigger diamonds so I wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Clearly failing to realize that my stealing was the larger issue…
H says
I can’t remember anything specific, but a couple of months ago, I found my notebook from 4th grade where we wrote down all of our musings. It was pretty hilarious to read. I wrote about a stuffed animal my grandparents had given me. Interestingly, that animal, a raccoon, was in the same box and has become part of my LO’s collection.
EBMom says
This isn’t really funny, but more of an incident that probably put my mom in some therapy and that shows the very dumb ways that kids can think.
One day, I became very angry with my little sister and picked her up over my head and body-slammed her to the ground. I was either 4 or 5 and my little sister was 2. My mother was HORRIFIED. And I could not understand what I had done wrong. My little sister had provoked me with taking my toy, she wouldn’t give it back when I asked nicely, and then when I grabbed my toy back and handed her one of her toys in its place, she counteracted with physical aggression. The details are fuzzy now, but I think she pinched me or bit me, and it really hurt. My mother kept asking me if I had intended to hurt my sister badly (she cried and screamed in an awful way, but ended up with no injuries from the incident). I said YES I was trying to hurt her because she had taken my toy and wouldn’t give it back when I asked nicely and then she tried to hurt me and it wasn’t fair In my head, I was completely in the right here. Of course, now, I completely see my mother’s side of things. For a few weeks, I think she thought she was raising a psychopath and was probably watching out for me to start torturing animals, as she kept asking me questions about the incident and wouldn’t let me be alone with my sister for even a minute for awhile.
As an adult, that episode taught me to remember that kids think differently and that it takes kids a long time to learn a lot of the basic life lessons. At age 4 or 5 (whatever it was), I didn’t understand my greater responsibility towards my 2-year old sister versus dealing with a peer. I remember thinking how unfair my mother was being because I had tried so hard to be GOOD that day. I was using my own toy and not taking my sister’s, which had been a prior problem; I had asked nicely for my toy back instead of immediately grabbing it from my sister; I had handed her another toy in its place; my sister had hurt me when I took it back, so I “stood up for myself” which is what my dad had told me to do for some kids that had been bothering me at daycare. I was totally baffled when my mother took my sister’s side and seemed so angry with me because I was trying hard to do ALL the right things. I remember thinking that I should skip all the niceties of trying to ask for my toy back and giving substitutes if I was just going to end up in trouble anyway. My sister or mother’s perspective on things just weren’t a part of my 4-year-old thought process.
Anyway, little sister and I were close growing up and that was an isolated incident, but I think it was a very scary incident for my poor mother.
NewMomAnon says
This is such a good reminder – I’m trying hard to remember that when my daughter is “naughty,” it’s usually because she literally doesn’t know any better; she has never encountered this situation and has no idea how to handle it, she doesn’t see another person’s perspective, she is self-centered because she hasn’t learned how to accommodate other people yet, etc.
Pogo says
Once I was walking my dog with my mom – I think I was probably about 10. It was snowing and for some reason I said I was going to walk back by myself instead of doing the full loop. Again, have no idea why, but I stopped and played by myself in the snow behind this construction area for new houses (I do remember us kids loved to play there, because it was forbidden).
So by the time my mom got home, I was MIA. My parents FREAKED out, drove around the neighborhood yelling my name, and almost called the cops. I finally wandered home and did understand why they were livid at me.
I guess this is why parents never let kids out of their sight, even when they’re at an age when they should be able to walk 1/4 mile by themselves. Because kids are crazy.
Pogo says
duh, meant to reply to the above!
PhilanthropyGirl says
What are your favorite resources and inspiration for decorating and personalizing your workspace? I have a new office, which is a completely blank slate. I’ve been given latitude to decorate as I wish, but no budget in which to do so. I also have very limited personal resources.
My colleagues have an interesting mix of personal interests, academic achievements and family photos. For reference, I am mid-level staff at a small private college. It is unlikely I will host outside individuals in my office, as most of my outward facing appointments will either be off-site, or at other sites on campus.
anon says
Does anyone have any recommendations for preschooler-friendly day trips from NYC? I’m trying to get my 4.5 year old out of the house for a day this weekend. One of my friends is a big fan of the Crayola Factory in Easton, PA, but I’d love some other ideas. We have a car and are in Brooklyn.
anne-on says
We see NY plates all the time at our CT kids museums – Stepping Stones and the Maritime Aquarium, both in Norwalk, about 5 minutes apart in town (maybe 60-90 minutes from Brooklyn depending entirely on traffic), and the Mystic Aquarium (much further obviously, but great for a bigger kid who won’t need a nap?).
Anonymous says
Storm King? I never went there with kids, but it could be a really fun place to run around if the weather is not too bad.
There is a place in NJ called “Diggerland” that my kids would love, but not sure what the minimum age is. Also maybe too cold though.
NYCer says
I am not sure that Storm King is open at this time of year – check their website. That being said, I went there with a three year old last spring and she loved running around!
SC says
Some older female relatives of mine are sharing a Facebook post along the lines of “Simplicity. Share if you remember when Mom made your clothes.” Then they’re all reminiscing about their moms taking them to fabric stores, picking out patterns and colors and trim, and making the family’s clothes (and maybe passing the skill onto their daughters). Simplicity? Simplicity for who? You know what’s simple? Taking DH’s shirts to the dry cleaners to replace a button for $1. Ordering clothes online and having them show up on the door step, or, at worst, heading to a store to buy already-made clothes. Making clothes is the absolute last thing I need complicating my life. No disrespect to anyone who enjoys sewing, but I object to the idea that making clothes is a symbol of a simpler time.
anon says
Simplicity is the brand name of the sewing patterns they used.
anon says
Simplicity may just refer to the pattern brand of the same name. Sorry if this is obvious – no disrespect intended. It is certainly a symbol of a time when women had no choice but to take on a lot of thankless jobs; sewing seems relatively fulfilling but definitely a lot of work. (My husband actually likes to sew, which is lovely for him. I have no patience for it.)
SC says
HAHAHAHAHA. Nope, not obvious at all.
My grandmother once bought sewing machines for me and my two cousins. The cousins lived near grandma and kept their machines at her house and used them pretty frequently when they visited her, probably one weekend a month or so. I lived 12+ hours away. My mom rolled her eyes so hard when she saw that sewing machine and stored it somewhere in the garage until my parents moved 20 years later. I never saw it again and never asked for it. My mom still gets exasperated talking about my grandmother (dad’s mom) buying me a sewing machine. Needless to say, I’m clueless! I literally can’t sew a button. Funny enough–my mom can apparently sew pretty well but gave it up long before I was born.