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Some of the articles of interest to working mothers that we’ve seen around the web recently…- Fortune suggests some chocolates for Father’s Day gifts… that just happen to contain cordial, stout, cognac, whisky, vodka, and rum.
- TreeHugger rounds up six companies who produce eco-friendly maternity clothes.
- The New York Times reviews the new book How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success
- The Washington Post introduces you to a popular group for D.C.-area stay-at-home dads.
- Pacific Standard looks into the amounts of housework and childcare that mothers and fathers say they do — and what they actually do — as well as maternal gatekeeping and the high praise that fathers often get for performing simple parenting tasks that they should be doing anyway.
- Fortune looks at the paternity leave of CEOs.
- A Mothership Down ponders the children we might have someday — maybe.
- Quartz explains how to raise kind and compassionate children, according to a new survey of kids.
- A mom writes in The Huffington Post about letting go of the things that she “should” be doing as a mother.
- Kat talked about career hiccups — mistakes, failures, and moments of bad judgment.
- We answered a reader’s question about black suits and summer job interviews.
- The Hunt rounded up fit-and-flare dresses.
- We took a look back in Corporette history.
Anony says
Has anyone transitioned jobs while pregnant? We’re thinking of starting to try for #2 (which could take awhile or could happen right away). I’m also job hunting. If I do get an offer (and happen to be pregnant), what is the best way to approach it? And, has anyone had experience or success in requesting FMLA benefits (even though I will most likely technically not be eligible)?
Katarina says
I have not done this, but I would recommend negotiating a maternity leave (paid or unpaid) after receiving an offer.
anon says
No experience, but agree with Katarina that you should disclose so you can negotiate leave. FWIW, I was strongly advised against changing jobs while pregnant if at all possible and for that reason (thinking I could survive what was then 7 months) I stopped my search. That said the rationale might not apply to you since I am a first-time mom and a lot of the thinking was that it would be too much change.
ANP says
Yes! I just did this and am now in my 38th week of the pregnancy while having been at NewJob for just over two months. Basically I had the chance to apply for my dream job while in my second tri and (based significantly on the advice/cheerleading of the R e t t e community) went for it. I interviewed while visibly pregnant and their offer to me included six weeks of paid short term disability that employees typically only come into after a year. As part of my offer, I was also told I could take all of my annual vacation up front to cover my maternity leave. I got a verbal saying I could take the full 12 weeks of FMLA and asked them to put it in writing, which they did as well.
My advice: apply and interview. I was incredibly nervous but also figured I wouldn’t want to work anywhere that would discriminate against a pregnant candidate — so while it was definitely nerve wracking, I say go for it. Now, I’ve been drinking out of a total firehose at my Big New Job and am pretty exhausted/tired every night; my spouse has been doing waaaaaaaayyyy more of the heavy lifting with our other two kids, but that’s also something we discussed when I took this job (before, he had a more demanding position but has been able to dial back on a temporary basis). I’m also probably going to be more connected to the office during maternity leave in this new role than I would have been previously, but that’s a tradeoff I’m OK with.
I would, yes, disclose once you get an offer but other than that I say proceed and see where it takes you. One caveat: this is my third kid, so I pretty much knew what I was in for in terms of baby and pregnancy. YMMV depending on your comfort level juggling one kid + being pregnant. Good luck!
Anon says
Interesting article about men making their oen accommodations va women requesting formal accommodation
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/careers/career-advice/life-at-work/men-often-pretend-theyre-working-longer-hours/article25026827/?service=mobile#menu
TBK says
Uh, how come no one offered me liquor-filled chocolates for Mothers’ Day? I could go for a few cognacy chocolates right now.
R says
The article on overparenting got me thinking… Kat, could we do a discussion on overparenting/overscheduling when a working mom?
My kids are getting to the age where I want them to experience soccer and piano and whatnot. But they’re in school all day, so my only hope is scheduling their weeknights and weekends. Then we’re running from activity to activity with no downtime for just play or boredom.
I feel like I’m trapped as a working mom. If my spouse or I stayed at home, or if I could afford private nannies, I could maybe schedule this better. Or I could schedule some of those summer camps that run only from 9-2 on alternating Tuesdays and Fridays. Or heck I could let them run the neighborhood with the rest of the kids that are home all summer. But as it is, our limited time as a family is dominated by homework and/or extracurriculars.
Is this only me? Is it this bad for SAH parents too? What is the solution? No extracurriculars, and telling teachers too bad but we’ll only spend an hour a night on homework until they’re in high school?
JJ says
I’m curious about this, as well. I see so many cool camps during the summer that I think my kids would enjoy. But there’s no way, when they’re in daycare from 7:30 until 5:30 every day, that I can swing a 9-12 MWF camp.
ANP says
I was just talking to a friend about this — we both work, and if we want our kids to be in soccer OR dance OR swimming, that eats up between 1 and 3 nights per week. I don’t think a weekly swimming lesson plus one soccer game per week is necessarily over scheduling, but it becomes untenable when (a) it eats up nights and weekends, and (b) when you have more than one kid! Arg.
Anon says
Look I just work with kids, but a couple of ideas: find some other moms who want their kids to take music lessons (not piano!) and have the instructor come to you. Pick a “summer” sport and a “winter” sport (one group. one individual preferably) and keep it limited that way.
I swear, I see kids show up for their swim lessons directly from school, they sit and do 30 minutes of homework, have their swim lesson, change into their karate outfits, eat a snack, do another 30 minutes of homework and then go to their next class. It’s nuts!
My mom was a school teacher and could easily run us all around after school, but I only had dance and piano once a week each during the school year and swam during the summer. (By high school I was swimming and then going to theater camp and babysitting, plus doing about ten clubs. That’s NORMAL).
Meg Murry says
It’s not easy on SAH parents with more than one kid, as they have to drag the younger ones around as well, sometimes cutting into naptime, etc. What has worked for us so far is to do only karate and piano – they are each only 1x a week, don’t require driving to other random cities or standing around outside in the rain, etc. Swimming lessons instead of karate also worked for us. As someone said on the “lazy/non-prioritizing moms thread” – just say no to soccer (and baseball/softball/t-ball) – they eat your life
An extra bonus to karate and swim lessons for me was that they are both at a gym – so I can drop my kid in the class and then hit the treadmill or elliptical machine with an audio book and have some “me” time.
We’re also considering recruiting a college student to walk my son from school to an afterschool art class for next year and then walking him back to our house. It’s a bit of a pain in the neck, logistics-wise, but its not too expensive if I can coordinate with a few other parents that were interested for their kids too.
I’ve also been “that parent” that wrote a note or emailed the teacher and said “kid didn’t finish his homework, but he worked on it for plenty of time and we said enough.” It helps that our school generally does weekly homework packets, so we can do slightly less on karate/piano nights and make it up on other nights, and my son is usually pretty good about doing at least part of the homework at aftercare.
Anonymom says
Tips for air travel while pumping on a hospital grade pump? Going to visit a sick relative across the country and feeling anxious.
ANP says
I’ve never had to pump on a flight or in an airport, but I’ve traveled with my Medela Pump In Style Advanced with no issue at least a dozen times. Your pump will qualify as a piece of medical equipment, so it doesn’t count towards the carry-on limit. If you’re traveling with pumped milk, you can bring as much as you want (it’s not subject to the “no liquids” rule like other stuff is). TSA may test the milk to make sure it is what you say it is, but all of that is harmless and NBD.
If you have to pump en route to or from your destination, I would look at the airports you’ll be in and see if they have spots for nursing/pumping mothers. Otherwise I have friends who’ve just brought a nursing cover and pumped in their airline seats and/or in a corner of a relatively deserted waiting area — which STINKS, but is completely doable. You’ve got this mama!
Msj says
Haven’t done it with a hospital grade pump, but a few more thoughts. Try to keep the rest of your luggage as light as possible. Milk is heavy and then you don’t have to worry about explaining that it’s medical equipment. I’d also think about bringing a hand pump (I like the medela Harmony) as back up if you are stuck without an outlet at any point. I recently sprung for an airport lounge pass for a recent business trip. It sucks paying the $50 but the shower rooms are really great for pumping. In addition to bringing heavy duty ice packs, I’d also throw in some ziploc bags in your cooler. You can fill them up with ice at an airport bar for extra cooling once you’re past security. And speaking of security, the tsa agents have always been respectful and not given me any problems.
Good luck!
Spirograph says
I know I’m late to this, and it’s not clear whether you’re planning to bring milk home with you or just maintain supply while you’re gone, but a couple things to add:
1. Frozen milk does not count as a liquid (which, duh, but I didn’t think of it that way before). Or at least it didn’t when I was flying with a whole cooler full of it a few weeks ago. I asked the TSA agent and he waved it off with, “if it’s frozen, we don’t care.”
2. If you pack [whatever insulated container you have] full, milk will stay frozen for a really long time. I put a week’s worth of frozen milk in an insulated lunch bag, and when I got home 12+ hours later, the outermost bags had a tiny bit of thawing, but everything else was still frozen solid. And this was after I’d left the cooler in the trunk of the car (parked outside on a warm, but not sunny day) for several hours while I was touristing around the city before my flight. I think the trick is to have as little empty space in the bag as possible, so choose your container accordingly.
I wish I’d known all of that before I pumped and dumped on an international business trip without kid #1, thinking there was no way to keep the milk cold on my trip home…
Anonymom says
Thank you so much. Very helpful–and the encouragement is greatly appreciated.