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Some of the articles of interest to working mothers that we’ve seen around the web recently…
- A Racked writer explains how “the beauty industry generally takes Gen X for granted.”
- Working Mother looks at the benefits and problems of being a breadwinning working mom.
- Working Mother also has workout tips for busy working moms.
- Meanwhile, here’s a telling article from The Miami Herald: “Despite working at nearly double the rate of their grandmothers, 21st-century moms still shoulder more of the drudgery of child-rearing and report time with their children as more tiring and stressful than it is for fathers.”
- Quartz reports on the no-babies policy at TEDWomen.
- Society6 asked some successful “LA-based creatives” to describe their sleep habits.
- A mom writes for The Washington Post’s On Parenting about how strangers are always worried about her daughter’s safety when she’s running, climbing, and just being a kid.
- The New York Times’ Well Family has an article about the value of teaching kids the actual names — not nicknames or euphemisms — for their private parts.
- The blogger behind Science of Mom writes about the AAP’s new recommendations for safe sleep.
- A Hellobee blogger shares 11 tips for traveling with kids.
- Romper reviews the usual backhanded compliments given to working moms.
Do be sure to check out the news update over at Corporette!
On Corporette Recently…
- Kat shared her picks from the Nordstrom Fall Clearance Sale.
- We talked about Working Girl and wearing booties at the office.
- We discussed executive presence for women leaders.
- We took a look back into Corporette history.
Did we miss anything? Add ’em here, or send them to [email protected]. Thank you!
Anon says
ARGH. Not to reopen the sleep discussion, but from the ScienceofMom article comments:
“[These studies are] also the best evidence that the AAP has, and I think it is hard to ignore. However, we’re also not likely to get better evidence anytime soon. The sample size needed for prospective studies is cost-prohibitive, and even case control studies are difficult at this point because SIDS is relatively rare. You’re right that many of the studies that these recommendations are based on are from the 1990’s, when prone sleep was more common, but we may be stuck with this imperfect evidence for now. So again, I do think that the roomsharing recommendation is evidence-based, but I also agree that this will be hard for many families, and individual families have to weigh the risks and benefits based on their situation.”
So yes. Parents, weigh your own risks and benefits, but read through all the studies to find out that the “evidence” is comparing room-sharing to stomach-sleeping. This is why parents are so frustrated with the guidelines – that’s a pretty significant limitation to the evidence.
Anon says
ARGH. Not to reopen the sleep discussion, but from the ScienceofMom article comments:
“[These studies are] also the best evidence that the AAP has, and I think it is hard to ignore. However, we’re also not likely to get better evidence anytime soon. The sample size needed for prospective studies is cost-prohibitive, and even case control studies are difficult at this point because SIDS is relatively rare. You’re right that many of the studies that these recommendations are based on are from the 1990’s, when prone sleep was more common, but we may be stuck with this imperfect evidence for now. So again, I do think that the roomsharing recommendation is evidence-based, but I also agree that this will be hard for many families, and individual families have to weigh the risks and benefits based on their situation.”
So yes. Parents, weigh your own risks and benefits, but read through all the studies to find out that the “evidence” is comparing room-sharing to stomach-sleeping. This is why parents are so frustrated with the guidelines – that’s a pretty significant limitation to the evidence.
MDMom says
I agree with your overall point, but after reading her article I think its also misleading to say “the “evidence” is comparing room-sharing to stomach-sleeping.” That is a gross oversimplification of what she says that is biased towards disagreement with this recommendation. The evidence is several studies, many of which are from a time with stomach sleeping was more common, and some more recent. All of the studies are pretty limited because there is little to no info on the sleep environments except room-sharing or not— were both roomsharing and nonroomsharing babies stomach or back sleeping? Were non-room sharing babies sharing room with other kids? sharing bed with other kids? Did they have extra bedding/bumpers/loose blankets in crib? No idea. So yes, agree, that the studies are pretty significantly and frustratingly limited. But your comment suggests that all of the data is comparing babies sleeping on their backs in a bare bassinet in parents room to babies sleeping on their stomachs elsewhere and that is not a fair summary of the studies. The truth is we just don’t know anything about what they were comparing except whether parents were in room or not, which sucks.
I do like that they recommended pediatricians discuss this with patients in a nonjudgmental way. Hopefully that can be implemented. I’m also amused because our pediatrician was urging us to get the baby out of our room and into his own by 6 months, because it becomes much harder to do later when separation anxiety kicks in– that was part of the reason we did it at 5.5 months. While I think my pediatrician was a bit overly paranoid about that, it’s another long term effect to consider. I imagine moving a 1 yr old to his own room for first time would be much more difficult than moving a 6 month old or younger.
Anonymous says
Wondering if someone can help- married for five years, one kidlet. Nothing happening in bedroom for a year now. Sex drive on my part is literally zero. To be honest other than the sex issue we’re at the best place we’ve even been work wise and career wise. No real issues with kidlet.
Thoughts? Like not sure here if this on my part is an age thing or a gained a bit of weight thing or a reaction to birth control thing but I have literally zero sex drive.
mascot says
How’s your partner feeling about all of this? I find that both of us go through slumps where nothing is wrong per se, we just aren’t making an effort and fall out of the habit. When it does happen, it’s fine and we are all “we should do this more often” but don’t always have the energy.
Things that help us get the energy back- regular exercise even if it is just going for a walk and being proactive in trying to get things going before we are ready to go to sleep which sometimes means we schedule it. I’ve also noticed that our slumps correspond with a lack of physical touch/intimacy. If we are getting in a lots of touch time, then we are more likely to progress to other activities, but still feel connected even if we don’t. If we are being physically distant from each other, it’s a lot harder to go from opposite ends of the couch to game on. For intimacy boosters, holding hands, snuggling, proper long kisses, joint showers, massages, etc. all seem to work.
also anon says
But see, it sounds like you’re coming from a place of thinking you both want it but you are too tired/busy and don’t get around to it. Like OP, we’ve been married about that long and have one kid and I have had zero interest whatsoever for over a year. It’s not just that I’m too tired/busy/stressed, and maybe that’s the source of it, but what it feels like is the same as the question “do you want [something I don’t hate but also don’t want… just meh on it] carrots for vegetable tonight?” Meh, no thanks. It’s actually kind of worse than that, because you can force yourself to choke down some carrots but I can’t force myself to get interested in sex.
Also, with no interest, I don’t think about it (other than feeling bad/guilty for not thinking about it and what I should be). My husband is very unhappy about the situation. Very.
OP, I have no answers at all. Exercise certainly would help with energy and reconnecting to my body other than it being the thing that transports my brain to my job and holds my kid and requires cleaning and feeding, but no time for that either.
Anonymous says
I am so happy you posted because this is it exactly.
Zero interest on my part and husband is very cranky.
And I have no idea if I should be concerned about the zero interest because everything is so good.
Anonymous says
How old is your kid? Are you nursing? For me, it’s hard to be interested in s3x when my body feels so utilitarian, not quite back to my normal size, and I have something else (a kid) touching me all.the.time.
That said, exercise helps. A lot. And just forcing yourself to do it for the sake of your marriage helps. I had a very candid conversation with my husband about my utter lack of sex drive (3 kids under 4, youngest is still EBF), and explained that I know it’s important, but I am not interested, and I’d certainly rather sleep. Specifically I said it’s like going to the gym: I know I’ll enjoy it once I get there and feel better afterward, but it’s still hard to find the motivation to get off the couch. It just feels like a chore to me at the moment. He’s laughed at that and is still frustrated, but it helped to just clear the air that it’s me and not anything to do with him. We schedule. It’s not romantic, but it works for us for now.
AnonToday says
Yes, similar boat, I’d be fine with taking months off at a time but my husband definitely wouldn’t, so when he initiates I usually just go along. And it’s fine. Sometimes I can get myself into the mood, but usually I’m just going through the motions. His love language is physical touch, so I think about how I’d feel if he just stopped doing any chores around the house because he didn’t want to (my love language is acts of service). I know that’s not completely an apples-to-apples comparison, since sex is a much more complex situation…but barring any pain, etc. I would suggest finding a way to just say yes and view it as an act of love to your spouse.