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Ooh: I love the look for this simple V-neck gathered top that is nursing friendly — it looks discreet, functional, and flattering. It’s available in coral, latte, and purple for $35 at Amazon, sizes XS-L. Milk Nursingwear Women’s Gathered Loop Top (L-2)Sales of note for 3.18.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon for Posita says
I missed yesterday’s thread on moving but wanted to share what worked for us. We had a specific neighbourhood we wanted to stay in but needed a larger house. We identified properties not on the market that we would be interested in and sent out letters to the homeowners asking them to contact us if they wanted to sell. We sent thirty letters, got three responses and one of those turned into our new home. We are very happy we went this route even though closing the private sale was a huge hassle, having our ideal house in our ideal neighbourhood was so worth it!
SuperAnon says
My husband has recently transitioned jobs – ok, twice in 6 months after a period of 6 months unemployment.
And I’m due this spring.
He is FREAKING OUT. Serious panic/anxiety attacks.
I texted my MD/therapist (she can prescribe meds & does talk therapy with me) for therapist/psych referrals for him.
Luckily he has made his own appointment at his regular MD today to talk about it.
Looking for advice, suggestions, anyone who has been through similar combination of spouse’s job transitions, new baby (2nd), and spouse being mentally/physically unable to deal. Thanks in advance.
Anon says
This is too much for an expecting mama to deal with! I’m glad your husband is seeing his doctor. A few weeks after our second LO was born, DH found out his job was eliminated in a reorg. DH was mentally sound, but also completely checked out while I was caring for the kiddos. I was able to enlist other family to help, but without DH’s support it was really hard. And we fought a lot. And I experienced either PPD or PPD symptoms. Things are better now that the transition is complete. A few suggestions: get support from your family and friends; be sure you have a day care you are comfortable with (for #1 and for when you return to work); stock your freezer before #2 arrives; let a lot of things go (I felt sort of like an animal–our house was a mess and we ate whatever was available and i wore nursing tank tops and yoga pants full time). Big hugs.
NewMomAnon says
That was the story of my first (and only) kiddo – husband feel apart when I was 6 months pregnant, we went through couples counseling until baby was 1 when he finally walked out and demanded a divorce. The worst was the week the baby was born; husband basically doped himself up on rescue meds and booze and was an utter mess for a week and a half. I finally asked him to cut short his paternity leave because I was babysitting him more than the newborn. Hopefully your guy can pull it together better….
Here is what I found. First, I started going to therapy twice a week and still do. I can’t change my husband’s crazy, but I found that I didn’t have to get sucked into it when he spirals out of control. Second, I hired a doula and set up all sorts of alternative support for myself postpartum. Third, the moment I realized that I literally could not help my husband if he wouldn’t help himself was life-changing. It was terribly sad because I knew that I couldn’t save the marriage, but also a huge relief because I didn’t have to bear the responsibility for taking care of him anymore.
it would probably be helpful for your husband to have his own psychiatrist; in my area, there was a 3 month wait to get into one, so encourage your husband to get that process going now. Encourage him to see a therapist. Be realistic with your timing expectations; he likely will not stabilize by the time the baby comes, because it will take time. Do not make big joint commitments (like buying a house) until you have spent several months in a good place together.
Sorry that this is more of a protect yourself response than a “how to help your husband” response. I hope that you don’t need any of this!
KJ says
No advice, but I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope your husband gets his $(*%& together soon.
anon says
I went through something similar. I got laid off while pregnant. My husband left his non-profit job to find something with more money since we’d lost my income (and I had made more than double what he was earning), and walked into a nightmare job. My husband has struggled with depression and anxiety in the past and this was coming on top of a number of really difficult events (my job loss, the death of a young and close family member, a very difficult pregnancy, some early health problems with the baby, and the stress of being new parents) and he just spiraled.
I would say the most important thing is that he’s getting professional help. First, that means he recognizes the problem and wants to make it better. Second, it takes the responsibility off of you to be his therapist (including if you’re afraid he might hurt himself — it was a big relief for me to know that someone qualified was evaluating his suicide risk and taking preventive action, and that there was someone I could call if I was really afraid for him). Third, drugs can be very helpful, if it turns out he needs them. They made a big impact on my husband and helped him get to a place where he could start to deal with everything else.
Meanwhile, you need your own support. My husband can be very private but it was very important for me to have someplace where I could just dump all my fears, anxiety, and stress. So that might mean you need your own therapist, or it might just mean you need a friend or relative who can be there to listen (but if it’s a friend or relative, make sure it’s someone who’s supportive of your marriage and will be constructive in their support — you DON’T want someone who just sits there saying “wow, what a jerk your husband is” or “how do you ever put up with him.”) I have a friend who lives far away and doesn’t know my husband, but who has a sister with mental health problems and her empathy was invaluable.
Good luck and take care of yourself.
Anonyc says
Any favorite lactation tea or fenugreek supplement brands? My supply is waning a bit and I’d like to see if I can get it up a tad. Bonus if available on Amazon Prime. Thanks wise hive!
Burgher says
I used Traditional Medicinals Mother’s Milk Tea based on my sister’s recommendation. It seemed to help, but it didn’t taste great. Earth Angel and Yogi brand are also good herbal tea brands, so you might want to try each of them to see which you like best… they supposedly don’t have that black licorice taste.
MomAnon4This says
Honestly I just used the Mother’s Milk Tea in the tea aisle of my mainstream (not healthy or Whole) grocery store. A lot of the other moms from the Yahoo! Pump Moms group have certain herbs and supplements they super recommend. You should also eat chocolate oatmeal cookies- seriously! Kashi has a great kind.
Legally Brunette says
I HIGHLY recommend Go Lacta vitamins (I think you can get them on Amazon as well). Fenugreek did nothing for me, and these were recommended by a lactation consultant. Evidently, one of her clients who adopted a baby started lactating after taking these, so they do work! The main ingredient is malungay (a type of vegetable commonly eaten in Asia).
LawyerKate says
I’ve been taking More Milk Plus (the capsules as I’ve heard the tincture tastes terrible) for about 2 weeks to combat a serious pumping slump. Daughter is 10 months and I want to keep up the pumping until she’s 1, then taper it off as she starts drinking cow’s milk at daycare. No miraculous boob fountains or overflowing bottles or anything, but it is helping! I’ve been able to get the 10 oz per day that I need without too much stress or extra pumping sessions. And it is available on Amazon.
Anonyc says
Thank you all! I’ve got some tea coming my way and if that doesn’t help, I’ll try some cookies and capsules.
RDC says
Have this top and love it! Convenient for nursing, not too low cut, loose (not clingy) thru the tummy so I find it very flattering.
Legally Brunette says
I have it as well and I liked it. I feel that it runs a bit big. It does a good job of hiding my post partum tummy (unlike other nursing tops which can be too clingy). I have the teal, but the coral is really pretty as well.
JJ says
I was doing laundry this weekend and realized that I need to make a housekeeping/laundry confession:
I put no effort into laundry. All colors get washed together, in cold water, and dried together. If I remember, I’ll pull out any sweater knits to air dry, but that’s only 30% of the time or so. Whites get washed and dried together and I’ll throw delicates in with the colors. I only drip-dry my underwire bras (they don’t get washed in lingerie bags). Towels are washed with clothes if the clothing load isn’t very full. Maybe this is why I refuse to buy expensive clothing (all suits, etc. get sent to the dry cleaners).
Any housekeeping confessions from anyone else?
KJ says
That’s how I did laundry before I even had a kid! Life is too short. I also don’t iron a damn thing. All pressing is done by the dry-cleaner.
RDC says
+1 I’m ideologically opposed to ironing.
layered bob says
+2. The benefit of living in a civilized society is that you can pay people to do things you choose not to do.
Meg Murry says
I had to iron on something for my son, and I didn’t actually know we still owned an iron – I thought it got lost when we moved until my husband showed me where it was hidden away. Hadn’t touched it in the 3+ years we lived in this house, and I think I touched it once in the last house over the course of 5 years.
Then I forgot to actually iron on the stupid patch and my son convinced his grandma to do it for him at her house.
NewMomAnon says
Wow, you separate whites and colors? My colors have been washed so many times that I figure they won’t bleed if I wash them all in cold water…actually, the only whites I wear now are athletic socks, come to think of it. Because my only nude bra is too big and I can’t bring myself to go bra shopping.
One trick I use is to put everything that needs to be air dried in lingerie bags, so I can just pull the lingerie bags out of the wash machine and not have to fish out individual pieces of clothing. I have about a dozen lingerie bags I keep next to my laundry hamper…er…laundry floor pile.
Also – the knives and pots/pans I used to so carefully handwash pre-baby are now stuck in the dishwasher whenever used. I finally figured that I would never use them if I had to handwash them, and it was probably cheaper to just dishwash them and replace later than to buy cheap replacements now and have a bunch of decorative cookware hanging around my kitchen.
JJ says
They’re separated only because our laundry hamper has three compartments: two for colors and one for whites. If I had to separate them, it wouldn’t happen. Also, I have literally never hand-washed a piece of clothing. I think I ran something on the “delicate” cycle once in my washing machine. It may have been by accident.
Spirograph says
Ha, I have gone back to separating whites and colors, because literally the same day I was saying to my mom “I just wash everything together in cold water because as long as the stuff isn’t new, the colors never really run anyway” some navy blue thing left a giant blotch on one of my light yellow sweaters (it came out in the next wash, though).
Otherwise this sounds like my housekeeping routine.
pockets says
Wait all these things are bad things? Everything I own gets thrown in the wash, together, on regular cycle, cold/cold, and then put in the dryer. Except for sweaters, which I generally remember to take out of the load before the transfer to the dryer. Husband is particular about his shirts so if he wants his shirts treated/hung dry, then he can do his own laundry.
The person who taught me to do laundry told me “Put everything together in cold and then put it in the dryer. If it shrinks, it shrinks. Worse things are going to happen to you.” Truth.
Meg Murry says
Someone here or on the main s!te referred to it as “laundry roulette” which is pretty much what I do. If it can’t handle that, I probably shouldn’t own it.
PregAnon says
Housekeeping? What housekeeping? I’ve been so messed up by morning sickness and 1st trimester exhaustion, I haven’t cleaned since…Christmas? There are piles everywhere….laundry….mail….ornaments from the tree (hey, at least the tree was taken out) that need to be wrapped and put back in boxes…and my dining room still has boxes in it from the October move.
The whole house is probably not more than the work of 2-3 days, but I can’t even look at it. My best friend is coming over Easter weekend, because her son will be with his dad and her husband is likely working. We’re going to brunch and she is going to help me tackle it! I think I probably just need moral support at this point.
I'm fat and I need maternity clothes says
I love you, preg anon. This weekend my husband cleaned out our entire closet and did 10 loads of laundry. I took three naps and took our stockings off the mantle.
layered bob says
I… actually had no idea this was a bad thing? This is exactly how I do laundry.
Hospital Bag? says
My baby is due in about two weeks, and I still haven’t packed a hospital bag. This has officially made it to the top of my to-do list!
Does anyone have suggestions for anything to include? I have pjs and nursing bras and some basic toiletries, but I’m sure there are things I’m just not thinking of right now…
kc esq says
A robe so you can walk down the hall in your hospital gown without feeling a draft. An extra tote bag to haul all the extra diapers, wipes, blankets, etc. the nurses tell you to take. Cute going home outfit for the baby.
pockets says
My hospital bag was packed while I was in labor with my friend who was at my apt when I went into labor and based off suggestions on the internet. My takeaway is: pack like you’re going away for three days, you’ll be spending most of that time in bed, and nothing is coming back with you (most things will but some things are going to get gross so best if you pack things you’re not attached to). Also, I would bring a nice top (very loose or maternity) in case you want to take newborn photos at the hospital.
rakma says
What you listed are the only things I took out of my hospital bag. :) Leave some room, or pack an empty bag. We ended up leaving with more stuff than I expected (diapers, giant hospital pads, gifts people brought when visiting).
We ended up in the hospital for longer than planned, so a change of clothes for DH was useful- he didn’t want to leave to go home and shower/change.
RDC says
Also, pjs for DH to sleep there, assuming the hospital will let him stay. And a fleece since the rooms are generally chilly.
Meg Murry says
See, our rooms were the opposite – ridiculously warm (I guess to encourage skin to skin) and I asked my mom to pick up my capri pj bottoms and flip flops because I was roasting at the hospital compared to how cold we usually keep our house.
NewMomAnon says
Slippers and phone charger. I wish I had brought a book about baby care. Nipple ointment, if you’re planning to nurse. I also brought my own pillow (in a bright pillow case so it didn’t get confused with hospital pillows) and my own blanket, and was glad for both.
And food!!! I brought clementines, cereal (the hospital provided water, milk and juice in the recovery ward), and chocolate; ate all of it while in labor or shortly after. Room service was so nice, but it closed by 10 and we didn’t get to the recovery room until 10:30, so the cereal was a godsend that first night.
mascot says
+1 to snacks. I remember waking up at 4am to feed baby and I was starving. Room service didn’t start until 6 am so it was a long couple of hours. My hospital had baby care videos on the internal tv channels so I watched a few of those to pass the time.
I also brought my own pjs, shampoo, and makeup. Being clean and somewhat presentable really helped at a time that I didn’t feel like myself at all.
Manhattanite says
Lansinoh nipple ointment if you’re planning to try nursing! Use it constantly. nursing bra (you won’t engorge until after you go home).
(former) preg 3L says
Flip flops to wear while showering/birthing so you don’t have to walk around barefoot. Car seat to bring the baby home!
PregLawyer says
Re: nursing bras – how do you know what size to pick? I’m pretty large in the chest and have to buy regular bras in person to make sure they fit. Are there stores that sell nursing bras, or do people mainly just buy these online? If people buy them online, how do you know what size to get?
Manhattanite says
I bought mine in the last month of pregnancy. I got fitted at a bra shop (Linda’s in nyc). Then on day 4 I was miserably engorged and went to a breastfeeding store (Upper Breast Side) to get fitted for one cup size or two larger. The ones I got before the birth did not go to waste, but the larger one for engorgement and early days was also necessary.
POSITA says
Get a couple super super stretchy ones for the early days. Bravado has some good ones. Look for supportive but stretchy and soft. Then get fitted once your size settles down after 4-6 weeks.
If you order from Amazon you can return what doesn’t fit post-birth. The stretchy factor helps with online ordering. Not too hard to size.
Lyssa says
Something easy to put on your feet. I only had sneakers, and when my boss dropped by to see the baby (surprise!), who was in the nursery at the time, I wound up leading him down the hall in my socks, rather than make him stand there in my hospital room while I struggled to lace up.
Also, there will probably be pictures, so whatever you would want for them (makeup, hair stuff, a decent top – we had some professional shots done, and I thought that they would just involve the baby, but she wound up doing some family shots as well, which are beautiful, but I still sort of wish I had managed a little concealer beforehand), and whatever you would want for entertainment (magazines, chargers for any devices, crosswords, etc. Keep it light – this is a good time to read trashy magazines and whatnot).
MomAnon4This says
Chapstick and lotion.
And an eyemask and earplugs so that you can sleep. The nurses will wake you up if the baby will be sleeping in the nursery – I don’t know about co-sleeping in hospitals.
KJ says
Slippers if you have them. I wound up with an emergency c-section and my feet/legs were so swollen from the IV fluids I couldn’t even get my sneakers on to go home. Nipple ointment, chapstick, and lotion – the hospital air was very dry.
OCAssociate says
Soothies if you plan to breastfeed. Those first 24-48 hours of sucking will make you sore, and the soothies really do help. Also nipple cream (Mother Love is expensive, but so so good).
anonymama says
Slippers and robe. Hair ties. But really SLIPPERS, you’re not going to want to wear shoes around the hospital room or walking to the nursery, your feet will be swollen, you will need them.
anne-on says
Your own towel, slippers, and socks. Having my own toiletries and my own (not miniscule) towel to shower after labor was key.
sfg says
Went into labor at 36w 5 days before I got around to packing my bag! Brought a robe but never used it. My hospital nightgown didn’t arrive in time – but I just wore the hospital gown anyway. Cell phone charger, tablet/laptop chargers, and toiletries, and change of clothes for DH were most important for me. Also highly suggest putting together your list of who you want to notify about the birth now – did this while in labor and definitely left off some people!
Also, if you are planning to breast feed, I recommend bringing your boppy/brest friend to the hospital – much easier to use than a bunch of slippery pillows.
NewMomAnon says
I decided to get my kiddo rainboots for her Easter basket, but I’m wondering if she is too young – by Easter she’ll be 15 months old, so the boots would be worn from 15 months through about 21-22 months. The reviews I’m seeing online are that toddlers have a hard time keeping rainboots on their feet, the plastic is too stiff, they have heels which are hard for toddlers to walk in, etc.
Anyone have experiences with toddler rainboots? She has been walking about 6 months and is pretty confident in her little sneakers (which we admittedly only put on her about half the time).
Also – toddler flip flops, what is up with those? I keep seeing them and I cannot imagine my kiddo keeping them on her feet.
Maddie Ross says
Toddler rainboots are adorbs, but unless she’s in at least a Toddler size 5 (and really on the top end of that), they likely won’t fit or stay on. I had a terrible time finding them smaller than size 5 and even though my LO is on the cusp of a 5 (probably a 4.5 really, but has shoes that are both 4s and 5s) she walks out of them. If I pick her up while wearing them, they just drop off her feet. That said, they’re a good toy and she loves them. But useless as shoes.
Anonyc says
I think we haven’t gotten into rainboots until kiddos have been about 2. They weren’t really missed/needed–we plunked the kids in the stroller. One issue I have with rainboots is kids cannot walk in too-big-boots; the boots fall off and/or the kids trip, even for kids 4+, which makes it difficult to buy up in size. And for something that is not in heavy rotation like rain (or snow) boots, I hope to get more than a year of wear out of them.
Agreed on flip-flops for toddlers–that’s silly. I’ve had good luck with crocs/crocs-knock-offs and have had them in all sizes for kids to use at the playground, at the pool, at the beach, etc.
Nonny says
Yes. My little girl is almost 15 months and I have been sending her to daycare with rainboots since she started walking (I live in an area where it rains in winter). My recommendation is a small brand called MyMayu, based in Vancouver, BC. Look them up online. We have their boots and they are AWESOME. They stay on, toddler can walk in them, and they come in all sorts of cute colours. They also come with liners if you want them. Highly recommended. FWIW, I have actually met the woman who started the brand and she is lovely. She is a mom, too, and conceived of the boots after watching her own toddler try to walk in standard rubber rainboots and decided something else was in order.
Lyssa says
We used flip flops that had a strap on back last year (at that age), and they were great for 1) gym class, where you have to take off shoes right away, since they were easier to get on and off than regular shoes, and 2) beach and pool, since I didn’t worry about them getting wet. The strap kept them on just fine, though the sole was a little less fitted to his foot, so they were not quite as easy to walk in. I should get him some more for his Easter basket this year – great idea!
Rain boots are so adorable, an I’ve long wanted some for him, but we really don’t have much actual need (it’s warm here, and we don’t do a lot of walking when weather is bad) so they’ve always been more than I wanted to spend.
POSITA says
We used a knock off version of Natives last summer from iPlay and loved them. Lightweight, easy to walk in, cute, easy on/off and good in water. I also really liked that they protected her little toes. I would do something like those instead of flip flops.
pockets says
My 13 month old hates shoes. I don’t know what it is. She is fine with socks and those zutano booties, but I tried putting a pair of hard-soled shoes on her and she FREAKED THE F OUT. I don’t think she would have been more upset if I was actually physically harming her. I tried to show her the inside of the shoes to show her no monsters were hiding in there, I let her hold the shoes (and even put them in her mouth) to get used to them. No help. Any ideas why she’s so upset or ways to help her deal?
Katarina says
Is the problem all hard soled shoes, or just a particular pair? Maybe they do not fit correctly, or she is just not used to how confined the foot feels in hard soled shoes. How does she do with softer shoes for walkers, like Robeez (or semi-soft shoes, like See Kai Run Smaller or Pediped Grip n go)? Maybe use softer shoes, and gradually transition to the hard soled shoes.
In House Lobbyist says
We love Robeez and are on our 3 rd pair of Mary Jane ones from Amazon.
Anon says
AS someone whose life changed when I was able to wear Vibrams (I quit having ankle, mid-arch, toe, heel and knee pain) you may actually have been physically harming her. Try baby size crocs (they are soft) and some indoor soft soled moccasins. If she’ll wear those you can slowly try introducing her to sneakers, etc. But she may have plantar’s fascitis or bone spurs and all shoes are actually damaging her feet.
Nonny says
I have decided I really, really need a total break from reality for a few days, and want to go on a short holiday. Unfortunately (in terms of getting a break) this will require taking my LO (almost 15 months) with me. I want to go somewhere warm, sunny, child-friendly and low-stress that doesn’t require a plane ride of more than 2 or 3 hours (from Vancouver, BC). I have convinced my mom and possibly my dad to come with me (my SO can’t get time off work).
The most obvious destination I can think of is Disneyland. I know my daughter is really too little to get anything out of it, but I figure it’s an easy trip and there is lots for her to do/see there even if she doesn’t go on a single ride. The nice thing is that if my parents come along, I may actually get some time to myself too. I know Disneyland can be super busy but I figure if we go in early May, during the week, odds are it won’t be too crowded.
Does anyone here have recent experience taking a toddler to Disneyland? Any other ideas for a 4 or 5 day trip that would get me what I want?
Thank you!
NewMomAnon says
I would recommend Napa/Sonoma instead of Disneyland – I would guess the flight is about the same, it can be cheaper, better food, nicer accommodations, prettier surroundings. You can drink nice wine, but you can also do things like rent a bike or go for a hike or go shopping and eat tasty food.
But then, I’m a “hang out on the beach” kind of vacation personality. If you’re more of an “immerse yourself in a big city” kind of person, then Disneyland is probably a good option. I’ve also heard great things about San Diego – the zoo gets rave reviews and the weather is pretty reliable.
Nonny says
I would be all over that if it was just me and my SO (and little one), but my mom is not really a hiking/biking type of person. She can manage casual strolling with the occasional rest, but her health is not up to anything more strenuous. But I will put Napa/Sonoma into my back pocket for next time. I’ve never been there and would love to go!
(former) preg 3L says
I went to Petaluma briefly (very near Napa/Sonoma) and from what I remember, it has a small main street that could be entertaining enough for your mom. Someone local might want to verify — I only went once and it was about 4 years ago. I also think Napa has a downtown that can be fun for strolling — but I LOVE wine and would LOVE the opportunity to go to Napa/Sonoma again.
You can also go on vineyard tours and wine cellar tours, which could be sufficient for the casual strolling. Not sure how toddler-friendly everything is.
Merabella says
My husband and I went to Napa for our honeymoon – it is really laid back/casual, and I think you could get away with taking a toddler. The vineyards are small, so we actually walked ourselves between vineyards – maybe 10-15 minute walks between (helped to walk off some of the buzz between each tasting), and hired a cab to drop us off and pick us up at the end of the day. Plus a lot of the vineyards have nice outdoor spaces for you to hang out. We aren’t hikers – so we didn’t do any of that. Downtown Napa and the little towns in the area are fun to walk around, and have fun little shops and boutiques.
Hospital Bag? says
Sonoma has a really cute downtown area with shops and restaurants that your mom would probably love–and you would too! Napa is a bit more spread out, but it’s restaurants are really amazing.
If you do Napa and Sonoma, I recommend also hearing a little further north to Healdsburg. Also has a really great downtown, and it’s wineries are a little more laid back – and much less expensive to taste at – than Napa and even some wineries in Sonoma.
I wouldn’t necessarily recommend Petaluma. It’s a little far from these places for what it is. And the downtown is pretty deserted at night. Although if you like beer, check out the Lagunitas brewery in Petaluma because it’s worth the drive!
All of these places are super kid friendly. Maybe not some of the super fancy wineries in Napa. But otherwise I would take my kid along any of these locations.
Nonny says
Hmmm, thanks everyone. I’ve just looked briefly at a couple of website re Napa with small children. It looks like I have some things to think about. Looks like it could be a lot of fun!
NewMomAnon says
I admit, when I went we did a lot of touring the countryside in a large rental car/land yacht, not so much hiking. So there is still a lot for someone who is not able to do much physical activity.
We rented a house in Napa and one morning watched hot air balloons from our backyard. My toddler would have loved it. I highly recommend renting a house if you can – it was great to have a landing pad where we could make breakfast in the morning, lounge on comfy couches, and have a little yard to soak up the sunshine (we went in March, so it was usually cool in the morning and in the 60’s during the day).
There was also a great market in Napa that had little restaurants and shops, and a farmer’s market (also Target, Whole Foods, etc which is helpful when traveling with a kiddo – no need to pack a ton of diapers!). Sonoma has a cute walkable downtown and there were lots of couples pushing strollers, and a big park in the middle of town where kids were running around. I think it could be very toddler friendly.
mascot says
Re Disney: Our Orlando trip was fun, but not relaxing. It was expensive and even low crowds was still a lot of people. It can be overstimulating and tiring for adults, let alone little people who still need naps or folks with limited endurance. You probably can ride most rides though with a toddler. The ‘Land is smaller, but I think pretty similar. I’d save this trip until LO is older.
Lorelai Gilmore says
I just took my 4 year old to Disneyland. It was really fun and REALLY exhausting. I also have a 18 month old and the entire time that we were there, I kept thinking, “Thank God I didn’t bring the baby!” Mine is walking, would have wanted to get out of the stroller, and it would have been really hard. BUT I did take my daughter to Disney when she was much littler (like 14 months) and it was fine because we had really low expectations – just a few rides, a few shows, and lots of wandering around. She was happy in the stroller, napped easily in the stroller, and we just walked around and explored. She liked the carousels. Plus she had free admission to the parks.
If you go, I’d 1) book yourself at one of the hotels that has a great pool and is really close to the parks (like the Disneyland Hotel or the Grand Californian), and 2) plan to take long breaks each day. The great thing about Disney is that it feels like a real adventure and break with reality. But it’s not a relaxing vacation by any means. And it also requires a LOT of walking – probably more than your mom wants to do unless you get her a motorized scooter. Even just walking from the hotels into the park is a bit of a trek.
I think a better idea would be to fly to San Diego and spend a few days at one of the nice hotels there. You could do a day at the Zoo or the Wild Animal Park or LEGOLAND (which is WAY better for toddlers than Disneyland). And you could spend the rest of the time lounging on the beach or in the pool.
Another option is to fly to Palm Springs and stay in a nice hotel with a great pool. There are a handful of children’s activities there, but mostly you’d just enjoy warm weather, good food, and swimming.
We have tried Napa/Sonoma with our children (when they were 3 and an infant, I think?) and it was pretty lousy. Napa is fine with a baby who is in arms, but with a walking toddler, it was really stressful.
Nonny says
Yes, someone I work with suggested San Diego – another place I’ve never been but have always wanted to go. How close together/far apart are things in San Diego? If we stayed at a nice hotel (wherever those are….presumably downtown?), would we be able to access things like the Zoo easily by taxi or bus, or would we have to rent a car?
Lorelai Gilmore says
I think you’d probably want to rent a car.
Lorelai Gilmore says
That’s one huge benefit of Disney – you can fly to SNA or LGB, take a cab to your hotel, then just stay on property or across the street and never get into a car while you’re there.
Nonny says
Yes, this is a big one for me – I find driving in unknown cities (especially big American ones with freeways) pretty stressful.
OCAssociate says
I live 20 minutes from Disneyland, I have 11 nieces/nephews and 2 kids, so I’ve been there with baby(ies), toddler(s), etc. many times. Disneyland is so much easier than Disneyworld. Just 2 parks, and they are directly across from each other – a quick walk across a large courtyard.
15 months is a nice age – her admission is free, but there are plenty of rides/shows that she can still go on. California Adventure is even more toddler friendly, with Bug’s Land targeted at that age group, and the Disney Jr. show (if your kid is into any of those characters, it’s a great show).
I’d definitely advise staying at a Disney Hotel – it’s so nice to be able to take a break midday for naps/pool, etc. and it’s just a quick walk. Grand Californian is the closest, but Disneyland Hotel and the other one (I forget its name) are not far.
It is a lot of walking, and my son at that age insisted on walking (which means darting in front of people), so that was exhausting.
Also, from Anaheim you’re close to many beaches if you want to do that for a day. Huntington, Newport, Laguna. You can probably catch shuttles to any of those places from Disney.
I’d be happy to give you more info/tips if you decide that’s what you’d like to do!
anonymama says
Disneyland will be crowded and will NOT be relaxing. Maybe San Diego? Or Healdsburg? There are a lot of wineries where kids can run around on the grass pretty nicely. But San Diego will probably be most relaxing but also have lots of child-friendly activities.
PregAnon says
Napa/Sonoma are great, but I also love DLand! Also…DLand is only 20-40 (depending on traffic) minutes from the beach and you can go out to Huntington Beach and hang out down there, too. I find DL to be a lot less stressful than DW in Orlando – less area to cover.
There are also 2 really great restaurants – Carthay Circle and Napa Rose, if maybe you and your SO want to sneak away for a nice dinner. The Grand California Hotel also has a nice spa, and the pools at that hotel are great.
At 15 months, there are a good handful of rides LO can go on. The train, small world, Storybook land…there are a few more. Also good shows – Aladdin in California Adventure, and a bunch of shorter shows in DL that LO might enjoy. It won’t be too crowded in the middle of the week, so that’s a plus.
Anon says
I’d definitely go to San Diego — you can spend three days at just the zoo with a little kiddo. Not to mention the train museum, dinosaur museum etc. Disney is way too pricey to take a 15 mo to, IMHO. Save it until she’s 4 or 5 and can really enjoy it!
Shortie says
My pregnancy has been diagnosed with a single umbilical artery. It doesn’t seem to elevate risk greatly, but it does elevate risk to the fetus. I’m having trouble focusing on my work because I want to keep searching for more info. Anyone have any happy ending stories to tell on SUA? I could use cheering up with relevant anecdata. I’m going for an amnio next week, which seems like a long time to wait for me. And then it’ll be follow up ultrasounds for the rest of the pregnancy to look for problems.
MomAnon4This says
Not related to your exact problem, but recently I heard about a pregnancy loss at 36 weeks because of Xyz. I am at 32 weeks. OF COURSE I wanted to find out more about Xyz – should I google it? No, too much information, and my own anxiety. Should I ask my husband or friend or therapist to google it and tell me about it? What if they thought that was weird, or told me the wrong stuff.
I finally just decided on 1 trustworthy website (I chose WebMD.com) where I could focus on SYMPTOMS – what I could notice, what I could control, when to call my doctor. I also talked about it with my therapist. I’m sure you’ve already talked this one through with your doctor and s/he has told you everything relevant – but it sounds like you might need a “when do I worry?” conversation with your doc. Which will be good practice for those same kind of conversations with the pediatrician. There is so little we can control – definitely control your own thoughts!
MomAnon4This says
OK, I totally looked it up and it seems like the odds are very much in your favor – yes, it is a risk factor for abnormalities but the overwhelming majority of fetuses develop just fine, and it (the source) said that weekly ultrasounds (besides being kinda fun for parents!) are the way to continue to check for other abnormalities.
I’m sorry I don’t have any exact stories but I’ll keep you in my pregnancy thoughts & prayers.
JMDS says
My sister-in-law was diagnosed with this while pregnant with my niece. She is a happy healthy 7 year old now, with no medical issues. Will keep you in my thoughts, but I think the overwhemling odds are that all will be fine.
TBK says
Does anyone have any experience with hypotonia (low muscle tone) in babies? One of my little guys isn’t pulling up, still crawls on his belly, and has astonishing flexibility in his hips (he does full splits on the floor all the time). The twins just turned one and went for their 12 month well baby yesterday. The doctor recommended we have him evaluated by a physical therapist. I have some people to call, but was just wondering if anyone had any experience with this. He was never a “floppy” baby, had no trouble feeding, and lifted his head right on schedule. But he’s never wanted to bear weight on his legs (and it doesn’t seem like he has any pain) while his brother has been trying to stand literally since he was 10 weeks old.
HM says
our daughter had low muscle tone in her arms as a itty bitty infant, but was not especially floppy. We went to a developmental pediatrican office, and were given exercises to do with her, and ways to encourage her to use her arms. We’ve continue to see this specialist, in case we need to catch anything further, and they are great about giving parents practical information to get our baby to where she needs to be. Hope the PT goes smoothly for your guy!
pockets says
My 13 mo didn’t pull herself up at 10 months (and was still army crawling) and we went to get her evaluated. Overall I was really disappointed with the evaluation (it was Step by Step in Brooklyn) but they did give us some exercises to do, and I deputized the nanny with the responsibility of implementing the exercises. They helped and 13 mo is within the normal range now. I would go just to get some ideas for exercises.
Maddie Ross says
Just a quick vent – that’s awesome that you don’t let your under 2 y.o. child watch TV. That’s awesome that you don’t even turn it on in the house when they are awake and that you are super proud of yourself for following the AAP guidelines. That’s cool that you think I’m basically committing child abuse for letting my child watch a channel (Sprout) that appears to be designed for her age group. For the love of all that is good, stop posting it on your facebook page as a response to everything.
NewMomAnon says
I’ve started hiding updates from certain people on Facebook. It is awesome. Christian conservative family friend of my ex husband who thinks gay people are the tool of Satan? HIDE! School friend who shares articles about what actions a wife must be taking in every failed marriage? HIDE!! Family member who plays too much Farmville? HIDE!!! Result – enjoyable news feed with pictures of cute babies, cute puppies, home renovations, and cool articles on professional development and international relations and stress management and science and nerdery and cooking.
Meg Murry says
Yup, this added so much less stress to my facebook checking. First annoying post, or if they post less than 1 annoy post for every 10? Hide that post. Over 1 in 10 annoying factor? Hide the post, and add to the list of people I check on individually from time to time. And evaluate whether this person is actually a friend, or rather just an acquaintance who I liked better when we weren’t Facebook friends.
And never, never click on the comments. Because chances are they have a bunch of friends saying “us too, you’re so right!”
PregAnon says
Also never click on the comments of any news article…oy.
Pigpen's Mama says
It’s not wrong that I want to do this to my spouse’s FB account, right? Not hide him, but hide people from HIS feed because I’m sick of hearing him complain about people on FB. He’ll never know!
Merabella says
Oy! Nothing but sympathy here. This is why I hate facebook sometimes.
Lyssa says
Heh. I heard someone comment the other day that he and his wife had strictly managed TV, but now his (elementary school aged) kids are completely enthralled by it, while he knows a family who just kind of always had it on, and to their kids, it’s no big deal and doesn’t suck up their attention the way it does for his.
We’re totally “keep it on in the background” types, so this was very validating to me. :) This is actually my experience so far, too – our 2 year old mostly ignores it, or just tunes in for a minute or two and then finds something else more interesting. (Now, if only we could teach him that with regards to his new obsession, videos and games on the iphone.)
OCAssociate says
My kid learned so many things from watching TV (before 2 years) that I never would have thought to teach him. I just ignore the “no TV” types. You do you.
Meg Murry says
Yes. Curious George and Wild Kratts have taught my kids some pretty awesome stuff. Ignore the haters.
mascot says
I was totally on board with the no tv thing as a new parent. My kid wasn’t really interested so it was really easy to enforce. And then there was that period between 2-3 where I just wanted him to watch a show and sit still so I could get dressed fortheloveofallthingsholy. Now we don’t normally do screens during the school week (too much distraction in the am and cuts into family time in the pm). On the wknds, all bets are off. You want to eat dry cereal and have some milk while watching Curious George/Mickey and let us sleep another hour? Awesome, let’s do it. Everything in moderation. Ignore/hide the haters.
PregAnon says
Sigh. Just a vent. I worked from home yesterday because I was throwing up in the morning, and had a doc’s appt at 4:30pm anyway. Got a ton of work done. Was attacked this morning by crazy co-worker, accusing me of messing up negotiating a provision in a master agreement. She disagrees with my interpretation of a provision. I have a good relationship with counsel, so I emailed for a clarification, and they 100% agree with my interpretation. Got it in writing. Now crazy co worker thinks that isn’t good enough, and wants the contract amended to clarify an already clear provision. Double sigh. Makes us look dumb, and clearly this is “punishment” for working from home yesterday.
To make matters worse, I will now be reporting to her (she won’t have any knowledge of my compensation or benefits, but she’s now my “team leader”), and our CEO just announced his retirement. I just love him, and he is the one that hired me. Sigh again. I’m sure it will all be fine, co worker is annoying and sabotage-y but I think I can work with it (I just have to treat her as the narcissist she is, I can get through it) and I’ve already decided that she is 20 years older than me and I will just outlast her.
But days like this….
But I’ll hang in there because otherwise this is absolutely my dream job!