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This maternity dress comes in a bunch of great colors — we’re featuring the navy, but I also really like the graphite. It’s machine-washable soft jersey, and it’s got a nice-looking nursing cutout. There are no reviews yet, which at Amazon often means taking a chance, but it’s only $23-$30, which is a pretty good deal. Maternity/Nursing Layered Pencil Dress Two plus-size options are here and here. (L-all) Building a maternity wardrobe for work? Check out our page with more suggestions along both classic and trendy/seasonal lines.Sales of note for 4.14.24
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Anon in NOVA says
Just read that “working mother’s letter to husband” or whatever it was called everyone discussed yesterday. It was kind of upsetting. Really, your partner has to be told to help you when he sees you carrying groceries AND work bags AND kids’ backpacks? That’s human decency. A STRANGER would probably help you if they saw that. I start to worry that the constant blogging about how men are useless and constant begging for “help” (it’s not help…help implies extra, it’s really just participation) are starting to normalize this behavior from men.
Apologies that this is barely coherent.
Closet Redux says
I wrote and deleted a barely coherent rant about having to ask/remind my husband to take basic care of our 3 year old. Like, if you are wearing long johns under your jeans and two shirts under your sweater, the 3 year old needs more than just leggings and a long sleeve t. Or when we went to a restaurant this weekend and he put in my order and his and just didn’t order anything for the kiddo. Like, not even an extra plate or a cup of water. What is wrong with you? The fact that he is a great dad in other respects (like a really great dad!) somehow makes it worse that he lets the most basic care tasks slip his mind. I ultimately deleted the rant for the reasons you mention– what good is this/ is this just reinforcing the helpless-man narrative? What is the alternative?
Anon in NOVA says
HAHA I’m so sorry, this sounds very frustrating and I have been there before with my ex-husband, but reading “What is wrong with you?” made me LOL. Probably because I could imagine the tone too perfectly :)
I don’t think that’s reinforcing the helpless man narrative, at least in the way you’ve told it. I think calling out behavior we find unacceptable in a discussion is different than writing a blog post like “dear husband I’m just so frazzled can you give me extra help, like if I fall in a mud puddle while holding our new born maybe stop and help me get up? I’m so sorry I look muddy and frazzled I’ll try to do better! Love, your wife”, which is how those sometimes read to me. Trying to make it cute vs. plain calling it out is I think the difference to me? I don’t know. I can’t articulate it.
Closet Redux says
True! There is a world of difference between “Dear husband, please help me out of this mud puddle” and “What is wrong with you?”! HAHA.
avocado says
“What is wrong with you?!?!?” (or, really, “WTF is wrong with you?!?!?”) is something I think all the time but can’t say out loud. Like, why do you get on my case about getting homework done and healthy balanced dinner on the table and kid in bed on time, but when I am out of town it’s okay that you don’t check her homework and she goes to bed an hour late after eating garbage for dinner because you are overwhelmed with solo parenting?
Em says
I think there is a difference between expecting your husband to be a decent person (helping you with bags in the above example) and expecting them to inherently know all the little specific details about parenting and how things should ideally be done. I think some of these articles are highlighting more of the “being a decent human being” issues. I often have to tell my husband things that seem common sense to me (if we are wearing coats, the baby also needs a top layer; how much the appropriate dose of Tylenol is; puffs are not an appropriate lunch), but I only know these things because I read a lot on parenting techniques, get advice from other moms, etc. It isn’t in his nature to obsessively research anything, including parenting, but he is more than willing to listen to me and I usually only have to show him or tell him something once. I would be annoyed if I had to constantly remind him of these things, though, because some of them are safety issues and it would make me feel like he didn’t care.
Anon in NOVA says
I see your point, but I also doubt you only know that if you have on a coat, your baby needs additional clothing as well because you read a lot about parenting techniques. Having to explain that to a partner would frustrate me greatly, because to me it would look like mental laziness, which is not a luxury working mothers are often afforded but working fathers seem to be granted. I also think it’s one of those things that, if the mother wasn’t there, the partner would have figured out before leaving the house, but with the mother there they often turn off that part of their brain (I guess that connects to that “default parent” convo that has happened here before).
Em says
I totally agree a lot of it is mental laziness, and my husband and I have actually had that conversation. He has on multiple occasions commented that he and the baby would be scr*wed if they didn’t have me, to which I replied “no, you would just have to figure it out. Stuff probably wouldn’t be perfect, but everyone would most likely survive.” The coat example is definitely mental laziness, but a lot of the stuff is more preference or perfectionist than safety, which is why I am tolerant about him not inherently knowing it. A better example is using a size-up diaper at night time because it reduces leaks. My husband didn’t do it one time and the baby leaked through his diaper. That is a parenting technique more than mental laziness.
Meg Murry says
My husband is normally pretty with-it when it comes to kid stuff – he handles most mornings, so he’s pretty good about getting them dressed in appropriate clothes, etc. But the thing that drives me *insane* is when we are getting ready to go somewhere like a family party where we are putting a tiny bit more effort into appearance than just “everyone is wearing clothes that are mostly seasonally appropriate”. Every time, even if I specifically say ‘I need you to get the kids ready to go so I can get myself ready’ or so I can finish preparing whatever I’m supposed to bring, I always wind up spending a ton of the time I would have spent getting myself or the things I’m bringing ready either helping kids get ready or refereeing fights over favorite toys or finding the one lost left shoe, etc.
Nothing makes me more insane than my husband saying “the kids and I have been ready for 30 minutes, what’s taking you so long?” when the thing that has been taking me so long has been the kids!
The other part of that is that I’m a “prepare for all eventualities and catastrophies” type, whereas he is a complete “fly by the seat of his pants” type. Which means he doesn’t really think about things like “if the family party starts at 1:00 and we aren’t eating right away, the kids have to have lunch before we go or they will be utter monsters at the party.”etc. We’re finally past the point of needing diapers, formula, bottles, tons of spare clothes, etc – but not to the point where I’m comfortable just heading out without at least a few contingencies like tissues for the kid who’s nose has been running all week, or thinking about the fact that Aunt Matilda keeps her house at 78 degrees in the winter and the kids need to have t-shirts on under their normal winter attire, etc.
anne-on says
Agreed – this drives me batty. If my husband is taking our son out to the zoo/museum/park/etc. I started making him pack the ‘baby’ bag. That way if he forgot something, he got to deal with the fall out. And guess what? He suddenly began to remember to pack diapers/wipes/drinks/hand sanitizer/healthy snacks.
I also think traveling for work has 100% made my husband a better parent because he HAD to step up and figure it out without the ‘mommy safety net’ to save him.
CPA Lady says
There are two things I’ve done that have helped.
1. I went on a three day trip out of state when our daughter was 6 months old. I left baby with husband with no instructions. Husband came out of the experience a much more confident parent. I’ve been thinking lately that it might be time for another solo trip.
2. I push back on faux helplessness in the moment. “What do we need to bring for this day trip?” “What should she wear today?” “How do I boil this pasta to feed our child?” My response to all three of these questions would be the same– “What would you do if I were not here?” If I have an opinion, I state it. Otherwise, he is a very competent and smart person and I 100% believe that he is capable of being just as good of a parent as I am. Part of this has been pushing back and asking him to think for himself.
GCA says
Haha! Someone needs to write a parody of all these ‘letters to husband from working mother’. “Dear husband, if I have fallen in a mud puddle while holding a newborn plus a laptop and pump bag, please maybe help me get up” is a good start.
Closet Redux says
More like, “Dear husband, if I have fallen in a mud puddle while holding a newborn plus a laptop and pump bag, what is wrong with you?? Help me up, fool.”
Cb says
I think this is why shared parental leave should be a priority. If dad was home with baby for a length of time, he’d have to figure things out and it saves the mom from being the default expert.
quail says
Completely agree.
Spirograph says
It really makes such a huge difference. My husband is great, but I doubt he’s innately exceptional at childcare, and I know he’s not innately a good homemaker. It’s mostly because I insisted he take solo parental leave. He learned he can take care of a baby and house alone (and how much work it is!), I learned that I don’t need to be a “gatekeeper” for his parenting. We are fortunate that we could afford for him to take significant unpaid leave. If everyone had that luxury, I think we’d see a lot more equal partnerships.
TK says
Moms, help.
Little TK declared this weekend, “no more napping.” He will be 3 in February. Until this weekend, he routinely went down for a nap of between 1.5 to 3 hours every day.
He was an exhausted, grumpy mess from 3 until bedtime on Saturday and Sunday – everything resulted in a meltdown. He clearly still needs the extra sleep.
Tried moving bedtime up a bit (from 730 to 7 on Saturday night and to 645 last night) but I really hate to do it because if he starts going to be before 7, we’ll barely see him during the week. Any tips on either (1) making him continue napping [I am already mourning those couple of productive weekend hours …] or (2) easing the transition into no-nap land?
mascot says
What does his weekday routine look like? Is there still a nap at daycare/preschool? Is he still taking those naps or is he just sitting quielty?
I think encouraging a “rest hour” on weekends may help. He doesn’t have to sleep or even get in his bed, but he must stay in his room and play quietly. Keep lights low and limit what’s in there to quiet toys/books. He’ll may fall asleep out of boredom/exhaustion. Even if he doesn’t sleep, he’s had some down time and you still get some down time. He may surprise you and start napping again.
Anonymous says
My daughter did this a few weeks ago (she’ll be 3 in Feb too!). Two weeks later, she’s forgotten. But I have TOTALLY let up on “making” her nap — sometimes we talk about it, sometimes we don’t; sometimes I ask her if she wants to nap, sometimes I just pop her in the car for 30 minutes after lunch to see what happens. Sometimes she naps, sometimes she doesn’t. Usually I do something to change up the routine — even just giving her a bowl of dry cheerios and telling her to play quietly in her room while mama naps, can help.
NewMomAnon says
My daughter fights naps with an intensity I had not expected in such a small person. I’ve started instituting “quiet time” in her dark bedroom with the thermostat cranked a little cooler and her night time white noise machine running. I set a timer; she has to stay in her bed for 30 minutes, but she doesn’t have to sleep. She falls asleep about half the time.
I pitch it as “mama needs some quiet time,” not as a “nap.” She seems to accept that mama gets tired, even if she won’t accept that she gets tired.
EB0220 says
My 4.5 year old starting fighting naps a while ago, but her younger sister (2) still takes a serious nap. I tell my oldest, “you don’t have to sleep, you just have to rest” and leave her in a dark-ish room. She’s allowed to look at books and do whatever, as long as she stays in her room. She usually does eventually sleep for an hour or so.
anne-on says
You can’t ‘make’ her nap. You can make her stay in her room and play quietly. Or as I tell my 4.5yr old – you only have to nap for a ‘short’ hour. Enforcing a ‘rest’ time works for us, but really, its more of a mental break than anything else. God help me when my kiddo is fully over nap time….
Spirograph says
They never have to be fully over it! My mom made us sit quietly in our rooms for an hour after lunch well into elementary school during summer vacations and on weekends when nothing else was going on. She pitched it as reading/journal time.
Sarabeth says
Quiet time! We tell our 3 year old that she doesn’t have to nap, but she has to play quietly in her room for an hour and a half. Shockingly (because she is otherwise terrible at independent play), she does this. And 70% of the time, she falls asleep before the time is up, which is glorious – we get an hour of quiet time plus another 90 minutes of actual nap.
jlg says
this exactly. also he taught himself to read.
PinkKeyboard says
Quiet/reading time. As a kid one of my neighborhood friend’s houses had “reading time” where every child (including visiting friends) had to select a book and go into their respective bedrooms and read for 1.5 hours in the afternoon. No one ever checked to see if we were reading, so I think this was instituted when they realized they had three kids and couldn’t lose nap. GENIUS. The oldest was solidly in middle school and they were still getting that quiet time.
Pogo says
Asos has a dress like this too. Would you really wear this work-type dress when nursing though? I thought I’d read that pumps like the Freemie you basically need to strip down – would this type of dress work?
HSAL says
I could have nursed with this, but not pumped. I used a Medela PISA and made my own hands-free bra out of a sports bra, so I was always shirtless. Plus, I think that having maternity/nursing combo clothing is dumb and flatters no one. I like the dress for maternity, though.
lsw says
I agree. In theory it makes sense to get things that do double duty, but in practice, I’m glad for my nursing clothes that aren’t maternity.
I strap my pumping bra on over my clothes so as long as there is nursing access I’m good.
Pogo says
Right, my thought would be that nursing/maternity loungewear would make sense, because you’d wear it postpartum while on leave and actually nursing. But I don’t get the point of workwear like this.
quail says
Two daycare center philosophy questions –
1. Last week, one of the teachers in my kid’s room (he’s almost 2) commented that he got the same thing for lunch every day and that he would eat more if there was variety. They also made some comment about how they think he is underweight after being sick. Kid has been eating less, but not nothing, and is in a general refusing-everything offered phase (i.e., every suggestion from food to playing to putting on coat gets a small-voiced “no”). I make his lunch every day and yes, it’s repetitive – but so is my lunch! It’s healthy food and not processed for the most part. I am part upset that he’s not eating food that he used to like and part upset that it got sort of snarky commentary from the teacher. I am not going to give him what the other kids get (mostly pure carbs/ pouches/puffs) and try to keep to the “eat what’s offered/not a short order cook” mode at home. Should I say something? Just keep sending the same types of food that we want him to eat and get a thicker skin? Should I worry about his weight (he seems fine to me, but what do I know?)
2. We want to potty train the kid between Christmas and New Year’s as he’ll be in the 20-30 month window suggested by a potty training book, but when we tentatively broached the topic with the center they said they don’t/can’t take kids to the potty until the next room up. He won’t be in that room until he is two years and nine months old. It’s possible that he won’t get trained until later anyways and it will be a moot issue, but I don’t like the idea of having to wait on *their* schedule if the kid does train. Experiences with this? Am I borrowing trouble?
And switching care is not an option. In most other respects, it’s a great place and the kid loves it.
Anon in NOVA says
I don’t have any great advice, but I’ve had a similar experience with #1 and it’s incredibly frustrating. Once in pre-school my son requested pasta salad for his lunch 3 days in a row. On the third day a written note came home saying “(child’s name) has requested more variety in his lunch :)”. I got so mad I handwrote back “then (child’s name) needs to not verbally request the same thing in his lunch every morning :) thank you for your concern”.
It was not the right way to handle it, and nothing ever came of it, but boy did it feel good at the time.
Pogo says
HA thats awesome. I can’t believe they mommyshame over what you feed your kid! Cripes.
Walnut says
For Point 1, if anyone makes a future comment, I would snap back with, “His doctor is not concerned” and leave it at that.
Anonymous says
On #1, I would say, just ignore. They’re probably trying to be helpful, but I think that’s fine. (For what it’s worth, I think it may be worth trying to change things up a bit, but agree to hold firm on the empty carbs fight!)
On #2, that’s absurd. They should be able to help you with potty training, or at least be able to deal with a (mostly) potty-trained kid. Saying that your kid can’t be potty trained until he’s at least 2 years and 9 months because they can’t manage it logistically is crazy talk. Many kids are potty trained before that, and they should absolutely be able to handle it. If they can’t, they are doing something wrong. I don’t know if this kind of thing is regulated by the state, but that seems totally bizarre to me. My kid was potty trained at around 2 years 2 months, which was on the early side for his classroom, but the teachers were totally cool with it. I would have had a discussion with them and/or the director if they hadn’t been.
Anon says
Respectfully, I don’t see Comment 1 as out of line remark, unless it was conveyed in a snarky way. I really see this as a “when the person watching your kids all day every day tells you something specifically related your kid’s care, listen.” I went through something similar with my son’s school. When he was with a nanny, he ate whatever I had prepared that morning and did not fight it. For whatever reason, when he started at a pre-school (at 2 yrs), there were days when he choose not to eat what I sent. I am pretty hardcore Satter method (no short order cooking, no substitutions, etc.), and a few weeks in to the year, the teachers asked me to send him some vareity in his lunch. I told them our family adhered to a methodology where you had the choice to eat what you were given, or not to eat. This was a very, very traditional Montessori school, so I was really surprised that they pushed back pretty hard (a very child-led, choice rich environment). They understood and in theory agreed with the method, but advised that when he choose not to eat the one thing I sent, he really struggled the rest of the day. I started sending a variety of foods on their advice, and it was a huge improvement at school. It doesn’t sound like they asked you to send types of food – just adding some different options for him. If they think it will help, I think it’s worth it to listen.
Regarding 2, if they can’t take him to the bathroom, there probably isn’t much you can do to fight it. It’s probably a licensing issue – where a teacher can’t leave the room to take him to another room without messing up the ratio in his room. If you are otherwise happy with the care, and can’t switch anyway, I would just wait until he’s moved rooms.
jlg says
Re: 2, there is no exact right time to potty train — every kid is different. they are not going to be able to accommodate this for you without it causing a problem with ratios & coverage for the entire class. so while you can start introducing the potty, there is no point in “training” him until school can reinforce unless switching schools to a facility with in-room potties is an option (you’ve said it isn’t).
Re: 1, i have had disagreements with school about nutrition (not with food, as it is provided, but with milk). i did my best to find a compromise. in my case, that meant sending rice/hemp milk and then goats milk until he was fully on dairy (school insisted he had to have milk even though nutritionist said night nursing was sufficient). so i stuck to what i was comfortable sending but also addressed their concern about his liquid/calcium intake. in your shoes i would probably try to add a simple protein or complex carb option 2-3 days a week that rotates. not sure what you send already, but it seems like hard-boiled egg, peas, or black beans might be good finger-food choices that have nutritional value but might add some color/variety. try almond butter with banana instead of jelly? or almond butter with sliced apples to dip? avocado is great if you can find a way to keep it from turning brown — mine will eat anything cooked in a scrambled egg or with avocado on top. i totally applaud your goal of avoiding processed foods/excessive carbs and not becoming a short-order cook, but i think you can find some no- or minimal-cook options that still expose him to new textures/colors/flavors while meeting these goals.
Emmer says
For your first question, I think you need to go easy on the teacher. It doesn’t sound like she was being snarky; she is probably concerned just like you are that your kid’s diet has changed and wants to be helpful. And remember, unless you work in child care, she has observed a lot more 2-year-old behavior than you have in your life, so she might be on to something. Consider whether you can change up his diet; if you can’t, then just explain why that won’t work for him and reassure her that his doctor is not worried (if that’s indeed true) and you’re just going to roll with it for now.
quail says
Thanks for the responses, ladies. Part of this is totally my emotional response to the implied “I know your kid better than you” which is of course true, as they see 5 out of 7 lunches. I don’t send just one food, but a sort of bento box of different fruits and veggies, pasta, yogurt, cheese. It’s hard because he usually refuses meat so I hesitate to send it (knowing he won’t eat it) and part of the repetition is cheese and yogurt for some semblance of protein. I did start sending sandwiches at their request every other day or so when he specifically wanted part of a classmate’s, but almond butter and jelly is exactly the sort of thing I’d prefer he not eat every day. Toddler food is hard and I guess I just want some help from daycare when I am clearly trying – maybe I’ll ask for specific suggestions that they think he might like and can respond as necessary if they say “he wants applesauce pouches and crackers!” Any good resources for new toddler foods to try?
The room thing is weird because kids don’t move up as they age but only if they are two in September, and so he is old for his room. I think it is a staffing problem, but I think it’s weird that a kid could be nearly three and in a room with infants and so can’t potty train, when a kid could be barely two but with an August b-day and could. Sigh.
Anonymous says
My kids now go to a daycare that provides lunch, but when we had to pack lunch, it was leftovers 95% of the time. Is that an option? Life would have been much more complicated for me if I had to plan an additional meal…
I would have a chat with your kid’s teachers and or the administrators about the bathroom thing. I think it’s weird, and they should be able to accommodate you. It’s not like your requesting something strange. Teachers and administrators at my kids’ school are constantly shifting around so that the ratios work. I bet they could make it work, even if it is just by having the teachers in your kid’s class call up to the office so an admin can come hang out in the classroom for 2 minutes while your kid goes to the bathroom. My view is that they need to be able to deal with this; I would make a point of emphasizing the importance of this, because I wouldn’t want to be at the mercy of their logistical issues when it came to the timing of potty training.
Anonymous says
Wow, sorry for all the grammatical issues in this post…
FTMinFL says
I’m sorry the teacher’s comment has unsettled you. You asked, “What do I know?” in your original post regarding whether your child is underweight. Speaking from experience, you know way more than you think! I have struggled with pediatrician’s regarding my son’s weight for almost his entire life and your mama instinct is good. If he’s eating at home, this is probably just a phase.
I like the site yummytoddlerfood dot com for ideas. Does he like hard or soft boiled eggs? When my toddler gets in a cheese rut I switch up the shapes/sizes – sending a cheese stick one day, babybel mini cheese round the next, etc. He is also a huge fan of beans and quesadillas, if that is something that fits the type of food you try to send. Good luck!
Meg Murry says
Is your opposition to almond butter and jelly the sugar in jelly and empty-ish carbs? Would you be ok if it was just almond butter (or just almond butter with the barest hint of jelly)? Or if you send 1/4 a sandwich every day instead of a full sandwich every other day? You could freeze the rest of the sandwich, etc.
Or what if you found the least processed bread/cracker/flat carb-like thing you could and spread it with something like hummus, avocado or guacamole? Would that appeal to his “I want a sandwich like everyone else” sense without going too far into the foods you don’t prefer him to have?
I know he’s a bit young, but the other thing is to put together a bin of what he would consider to be “treats” but that are still acceptable to you (perhaps his very favorite fruit, or cubes of his favorite kind of cheese, something like no-sugar applesauce, small boxes of raisins, etc) and let him pick one treat per day to put in his lunch? So you know there is at least 1 thing in there he is excited about?
Sarabeth says
So, I have a very picky kid. We’ve been trying to expand her palate, following the book “It’s Not About the Broccoli.” One of the major principles is not to give the kid the same food two days in a row. We also do bento-box style lunches, but we try hard to rotate foods so that it’s not literally the same thing every day. At least according to this book, it’s better to do cheese one day, yoghurt the next, then cheese the third day, rather than offering both as choices each day. Our other protein options, FWIW, are hard boiled eggs and tofu dogs.
October says
Interesting, thanks for sharing. My 16-month-old is not generally picky (aside from the normal toddler “I loved this last week but hate it today” preferences), but I have noticed that when I serve him the same thing for more than two days in a row, he stops eating it, even if he devoured it the first time. I am going to try harder at not repeating on consecutive days and see if that helps!
Pogo says
My only toddler food experience is with my niece/nephew, and apparently there was a kid at their daycare who ate chef boyardee everyday, which is about the grossest thing I can think of. And no one said anything to that mom!
I’m apparently going to be a terrible toddler lunch cook because fruit, string cheese, hummus, veggies, pbj, etc is about all I would be able to come up. Are you supposed to cook them an entire meal and send it??
Hot Pocket says
Horrifying/”funny” story… I used to work in public accounting. During tax season, we usually had dinner brought in a few times a week when we had to work super late. It was catered by local restaurants and was usually delicious.
Then one year, someone decided to cut costs by replacing the good dinners with a stack of chef boyardee and a freezer full of hot pockets. To feed a bunch of adults who were working 70-80 hours a week. There were almost riots.
Anononymous says
No, you just send healthy leftovers from dinner 2 days before. (So they get a day off.) IME the variety thing really does matter (unless it’s carrots/sweet potato/butternut squash). Lunch today was banana slices, cilantro lime chicken, squash, peas and curry cauliflower — everything but the banana was leftovers, the chicken was Friday’s dinner, she ate half the peas (recently discovered that peas ‘pop’ if you bite them) and didn’t even bother to throw the cauliflower on the floor.
Pogo says
OK, that seems fair. I was trying to think how OP could have more variety – since she wasn’t sending Chef Boyardee every day I thought she was doing pretty good!
Anononymous says
I could (and in fact did) eat the same thing for lunch every day for years (I had the same lunch from first to sixth grade and recently did about three years of the same lunch four days a week). But even at age one, my kiddo demands more variety — the third lunch (or dinner or day) of something will not get eaten. Sometimes the third time in a week will be refused!
If your kiddo doesn’t like meat you can add quinoa to soups/oatmeal (soup is still more of a forkable consistency than actual liquid for us). Ratatouille is a big hit around here (America’s Test Kitchen baked version) served with the traditional fried egg and toast for dinner, but mixed with quinoa for lunch. Chile beans (fried hamburger/onions, kidney beans, tomato sauce, spice to taste) is good with quinoa or rice and freezes SO WELL. And hiding protein in quesadillas is always good.
shortperson says
i use a planetbox with lots of little areas for foods. for the mains, either leftovers or easy interesting trader joes food (scallion pancakes, blintzes, indian hot pockets, teriyaki tofu, lox and precooked lentils are all popular these days). when i make a big batch of something like meatballs i freeze some in 4 ounce ball jars for easy lunches. i buy a lot of foods to keep around to fill in that dont require much prep — carrots, cucumbers, fruit, bell peppers, celery, precooked pea and broccoli snacks from the snack aisle. i always put in reach foods to see if she’ll eventually come around to them. right now we are doing radishes about once a week. if the food is super healthy i add a few multigrain crackers or something that feels really junky to her.
ChiLaw says
My kid’s teachers were concerned when I said she didn’t drink milk at home, and relieved when I said they could give it to her at school — but it was clear that it came from a place of love and care for her (and perhaps a not fully developed understanding of how you can be healthy without drinking milk, says the mom who just plain doesn’t like it).
In terms of suggestions, we have had a lot of success with some of the recipes on wholesomebabyfood dot com. We make the cheesey broccoli cakes and the zucchini pancakes cakes frequently — they freeze well and smell good being heated up at school. We also send her with leftovers most days. Maybe we are too carb-y for your preferences, but she loves pasta with turkey meatballs, so if we have it for dinner on Monday night, she takes a portion for lunch on Tuesday.
Her typical lunch looks like fruit, other fruit or veggie (she’s fiending for roasted carrots lately), dried fruit, cracker (goldfish, pretzels, fancy oniony things, whatever, she likes a crunch in the morning), main course (leftovers or 5 little veggie patties), cheese stick. And even with all that they still tend to supplement with other snacks — they usually eat 4 times a day at daycare! When I send less than that I get feedback to send more things. I know they help her feel like she has some control by letting her pick things from her lunch box to eat when she wants, so I try to support that by putting in an attractive variety.
quail says
Thanks for all the food suggestions! This is super helpful. You’ve also convinced me that variety is a virtue in its own right, which I was hoping wouldn’t be the case…but it is important to me to expose the kid to a lot so I guess I’ll have to suck it up.
I agree that leftovers would be ideal – but we don’t cook every night. I cook a big batch of a few things on Sunday for dinners and lunches and we all eat it all week (I don’t get home from work until well after bedtime and spouse cooking different dinner every day is not something that I’m willing to fight right now). The evening/morning time crunch is why I’ve been not into variety day-to-day (though I do vary week-to-week). It’s a vicious cycle – I don’t get much chance to experiment with new foods at home, but don’t want to send something untried to day care. And I know that I should be exposing the kid to new textures and tastes as much as possible. Sigh. I used to really love cooking and experimenting and now it’s just a struggle to get through the week.
I think my strategies going forward will be (1) try some new recipes that I can rotate through (2) try to outsource some of this work/responsibility to my spouse (I currently do all meal planning and cooking and am obviously stressed out by it). Thanks again.
ChiLaw says
Oh! I wouldn’t worry too much about sending untried things to daycare, though. There are things my kid *only* eats at daycare, so my approach can be very throw-it-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks. I wouldn’t send a lunch of all new things, but if it makes sense to introduce something new at daycare, it might be worth doing.
In addition to my freezable patties, one thing you can definitely do ahead of time is roast veggies. We put some olive oil and cumin on a whole bag of baby carrots and roast the heck out of it (would work just as well for cauliflower etc.) and then keep it in the fridge and portion it out for lunches over the week.
jlg says
definitely don’t be afraid to send new stuff to daycare — they say for many kids it takes 10-20 times trying something, and no need for you to put that all on yourself at home. also i wouldn’t feel like you need to make every meal totally different. i would try to look for sunday cooks that can be transformed — we do pot roast that gets served that way one night, then its in tacos/quesadillas, then its on a sandwich; rice served early in the week as a side dish is pineapple fried rice with cashews and piles of bell pepper/string beans later in the week. there is value to exposing him to textures/flavors now, even if he doesn’t like them now. mine hated bok choy for 2 years and declared last week that he loved it when he tried it for the first time in ages.
Katala says
Since you are making big batches of things anyway, would it make sense to freeze a couple kid-size lunch portions of each, so after a couple of weeks you have a good selection you can rotate through, just to keep it from being the same thing 2 days in a row? I get bored eating the same thing for lunch during the week and have always thought that would be a good system (but I have trouble cooking more than 1 thing on a weekend, sigh). And definitely outsource!
PinkKeyboard says
I know mine will eat anything at home (chickpeas and green beans? yes please. spinach filled eggs? I’ll take three), but if we are out with other children and they all get kids menu stuff (mac and cheese, chicken fingers) she wants what they have. Could it be a jealousy issue where he just became aware of what the other kids are eating?
For the potty training, I think it’s ridiculous, but we aren’t there yet so I don’t have any concrete advice.
Em says
On 1, we have gotten a lot of commentary and opinions from my son’s daycare on what they thought we should and shouldn’t be doing food-wise. I consider their opinions since they are with my son a lot, but my husband and I make the decisions. We listened to them when they asked that we send an extra solid meal, but ignored them when they wanted us to drop a bottle earlier than I was comfortable. I partially used the pediatrician as a scapegoat (“ped wants us to wait a couple months”). If your pediatrician isn’t concerned with your child’s weight, I would just state that to them and ignore the comments. You could try sending a different variety of food that fits your family’s food profile for a week and ask for feedback about how he is eating. If it helps, great, if it doesn’t, they will see it isn’t worth the extra effort.
AIMS says
Does anyone have the SkipHop Stroll n Go 3 in 1 FootMuff? Thoughts? Is it warm enough for a NYC winter?
AIMS says
(Related pet peeve: why are online reviews so unhelpful? “This will be great for winter!” or “Not warm enough for our winter!” doesn’t tell me anything if you don’t also say where you are, people.)
NewMomAnon says
How does one even know if something is warm enough for a pre-verbal child? I mean, isn’t it all guesswork?
In other news, my daughter consistently mixes up “hot” and “cold” and keeps telling me that one of her jackets is “too cold” for preschool. So I started sending her thick winter coat. Guess what? Also “too cold.” So started dressing her in a turtleneck under her dress. WAY TOO COLD. The teachers finally laughed and told me that she’s stripping down on the playground, so I should send a lighter jacket and consider leaving out the turtleneck. Kids….
Anon in NOVA says
If their toes are all still there when you take it off?
pockets says
phew I thought I was the only one who used this method :)
Anon in NOVA says
Like when people comment “I’m 5’4″ and the size 6 fit me perfectly!” ok but 5’4″ and what shape? what weight? GIVE ME SOMETHING HERE!
ChiLaw says
I was in a mom’s group in Chicago and some of the moms were saying “I am so glad it’s finally springtime so we can take walks outside!” I was like… oops. Since early February I had just been putting lots of blankets on my newborn in the stroller. (Also did not have a car so what else would I do?)
CHJ - did you get her a rake? says
I loved this story and it reminded me of when another poster said her kid’s “lovie” was a rake.
CHJ says
I did! I found a little toddler-sized rake at a book/toy store in town. I got her that plus some art supplies. Her mom saw the rake sticking out of the gift bag when we walked into the party and said “OMG that’s the perfect gift for her.” Ha!
lsw says
That’s so great! (that was my question above)
Closet Redux says
That is super cute. I love that your kiddo knows that about his friend! So sweet.
RDC says
Hi ladies! I know corelle dishes are popular here, and I’m thinking of putting them on my Xmas list (to replace our stoneware, especially after the toddler chipped a bowl banging his spoon this weekend). What style do you all have and like? Does the winter frost white look classic or dated? If you got a print, did you eventually tire of it? Pretty sure my grandparents had the winter white, so it looks a bit dated to me, but also seems super practical.
Another BigLaw Parent says
We have the simple lines set. We got them for our wedding 8.5 years ago and they’re still going strong (and still available at Corelle). We aren’t tired of them at all. We got a few plain white round dishes that are divided for our toddler and her friends to use.
My in-laws have Corelle with light purple flowers on it that I’m pretty sure are from the 70s or 80s. They look somewhat dated, but that’s ok when you’re in your 60s ;) All that to say, by the time any particular Corelle set looks dated, it probably *is* dated, and I’m ok with that. Hope that helps!
RDC says
Thanks!
Katala says
When I visit my dad, I always shudder at the 30-year-old corelle with a blue stripe/flower border. The color is a little shabby but it’s impressive they last so long! Working on H agreeing to replace all our dishes when we move to our new house. I like color/patterns generally, but we’ll probably go with white.
Anonymous says
My grandparents have that pattern, but brownish-goldish instead of blue. I’m pretty sure my mom ate off those plates as a kid, and they’re still going strong!
Momata says
We have just plain white (not sure if that’s “winter frost”). They were our dishes when I was a child and they still look brand new. I don’t think a plain white plate can ever look dated.
PatsyStone says
We have the Winter Frost (I think). It’s as basic as it gets, but not in danger of looking dated. I love ours.
RDC says
Also thanks for the feedback! Really I just need to make a decision…
GCA says
Anyone have experience with weaning (night, day, whatever) a very, very determined young toddler (almost 19 months)? Everyone I know seems to have kids who either self-weaned or are happy to nurse them for six million years.
‘Don’t offer, don’t refuse’ has not-worked for us for five months now. Offering pacifier, water, or milk in sippy cup does not work. Distraction (‘Hey look, let’s play with your trains’/ kisses and tickles) works occasionally, and is better when he is well-rested and not tired. Wholesale removal from lap by husband works but some kicking and screaming ensues, and is ineffective when I am solo parenting. To complicate matters, kid is neediest immediately after daycare pickup, as it sets in that he’s missed me. We are coming up on a week of solo parenting and I need some sort of sanity check.
Anonymous says
Try baby wearing but wear him on your back as soon as you get home from daycare. That way he gets the closeness he craves without having to nurse as well. Gives you the freedom to make supper/fold laundry etc. Once he’s up on your back, offer him a sippy of milk to drink while you’re making supper etc.
GCA says
Interesting! I do have a carrier and can easily pop him on my back, might have to try that. Thanks!
EB0220 says
I was very happy with Dr Jay Gordon’s method when I weaned my 2nd at about 16 months. It doesn’t cut the kiddo off entirely but slowly reduces the amount you nurse, then transitions (when you are ready) to cuddles instead of feeding. It’s meant for nighttime but I think it could be useful for all feedings. When I get to the no-nursing phase of the system, I would hold a burp cloth between me and kiddo…it seemed like the milky smell calmed her. It went pretty smoothly overall. The key to this method is replace one act of mommy bonding (breastfeeding) with another (cuddling, rocking, etc.) rather than something inanimate (cup, pacifier, etc.). At this age, I think it’s really about comfort more than about nutrition or sucking.
Anonymous says
I’m told that putting band-aids over your n1pples works, but I’ve never tried it. Good luck mama.
Bottle Help says
Would love thoughts on weaning a slightly older child from a bottle. Our younger is about to turn two, and he still has a nighttime bottle (actually, 2 of them). With doctor blessing – he’s been through a world of medical treatments and the bottle was the comfort we could use to get him through those things. But now we’re on the other side of that and we’ve weaned him down to just one bottle and it’s going horrible. He gets up sometime between 1-3 am EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and literally screams/shouts that he needs a bottle for more than an hour. Usually he wakes up 2-3 times with a repetition of this.
He’s not dehydrated.
I feel again like I have a newborn.
Everyone said within a week it would go away. It’s been a month. I’m nearly non-functioning.
Do I also give up the remaining bottle (the only thing that seems to get him into bedtime mode?) What do I substitute for it? How long will this take?
I also cannot get him to drink milk out of anything but a bottle. We’re tried everything, it seems – making ‘milkshakes’, doing everything. In his mind milk is for the bottle and not for anything else and he’s very stubborn. He’s a very stubborn, adorable kid anyway. More stubborn than me, it seems.
I would love some advice here. Qualifier, I have another 3 year old and my husband works split shifts, so at least half the time it is one mom, two kids and I can’t just do an hour-long solo bedtime routine. My other child gave up the bottle without the slightest fuss, so this is new to me.
Anonymous says
Leave a straw sippy of milk in bed with him so he can drink it himself at night. He might be motivated to drink it from something other than a bottle at night if it’s available to him.
Once he’s used to that, start diluting the milk with water until he just has a water sippy in bed at night.
I’d resolve the night waking issue before tackling getting rid of the last bottle.
NewMomAnon says
My kiddo doesn’t use bottles anymore, but I still leave a soft-spouted sippy cup of water in her bed at night. As long as she uses it just for an occasional drink (as opposed to sleeping with it in her mouth), I’m hoping it doesn’t cause teeth issues.
I give her the Nuk brand Training Cup. It was a helpful transition from the bottle because the spout is soft like a bottle n*pple, but shaped like a sippy cup spout. I’ve also found that they are relatively leak-proof.
PinkKeyboard says
Could you start diluting the bottle? When we dropped our night bottle (much earlier because no health issues) I started cutting it with water. Once it was mostly water I just stopped giving anything. I’d say you will have to dilute more slowly (darn observant toddlers) and then probably just give a bottle of water. But then you could hopefully find a very bottle like sippy and leave it in the crib with water?
Anonymous says
My kiddo had a bottle til she was about 2y8m. Then we moved, and I told her we didn’t bring any of the bottles with us when we moved. It was immediate, it was rough for a week, and then it was done. Another strategy is that any time the child wants something, say that thing is only for big kids who don’t drink bottles. Then, let the child gather up all the bottles in the house and give them to the “bottle fairy” (who takes the bottles to new babies) and the child gets the toy in its place. This might work best with some sort of lovey that the child can cuddle at night. But, in the mean time, you’re doing great, and this is hard.
Anonymous says
Anyone ever brought a babysitter with them on vacation? Planning a two-week international vacation with our toddler, and husband and I would love to have a babysitter so we could go to a few nice restaurants. DH’s idea was to bring our current babysitter (who is also a teacher in kiddo’s daycare) and pay her with a) covering her flights and lodging, b) a per diem of some sort and c) paying for her to fly to her hometown while we are there. Her family lives not too far from where we will be visiting, and DH is picturing her staying with us for several days and then she could go visit them. I’m slightly worried about power dynamics at play, since she works at our school and I don’t want her to feel obligated to come. Daycare is closed for one of the weeks we’d be going, so she wouldn’t be skipping work. While it’d be great to have someone we trust and who knows our kid come with us, something about it is nagging at me a bit, and just wanted to see if anyone had input. Thanks.
Betty says
This is pretty common in the au pair world, but in that case, au pairs and host families are used to the living together dynamic. A few things I would think about: be very clear about your expectations of the babysitter’s time “on duty.” Do you want the babysitter to take toddler out of the lodging area and give you and DH space? Hang out in your hotel room or other lodging while you go out? What are your expectations for travel? Will babysitter be expected to sit next to toddler? Take toddler to the bathroom while en route? I would suggest developing a schedule for everyone, so that expectations are clear for time on and down time. What about meals? Will you eat together, cover her/his meals? In terms of power dynamic, I would email the babysitter and be clear that this is optional, you won’t be upset if he/she says no, and a general idea of expectations and schedule.
Anonymous says
Thanks, this is super helpful. I tend to be much more of a “oh well figure it out” kind of person but you’re right that it’s necessary to lay out these details early.
NewMomAnon says
LinkedIn question: About 80% of the invitations I get are from recruiters, and once I accept the invite, they bombard me with bizarre job “opportunities” (Move across the country and take an in-house position in a new area of law! Only a 10% pay cut! And it’s a start up so there are stock options but no health insurance, it’s gonna be great). Do recruiters know if I’ve declined their invite or let it rot in my inbox, or am I part of just a giant batch of invitations and can get lost in the shuffle? Is there any advantage to accepting or rejecting these? I’ve literally just been leaving them in limbo, but got an angry message from one woman and now I’m wondering if I’m not playing by the “rules” of LinkedIn.
Em says
I deny people I have never had contact with, so maybe I’m not playing by the rules. I’m not in a highly-recruited area of the law, though.
NewMomAnon says
I’m not in a heavily recruited area either? But somehow they look at my bio and say, “Wow, she’s doing X, she would probably like to do Y instead!” And in fact, I love X and would leave law before giving up X (and generally hate Y, but sometimes Y is so weird that I just laugh). For instance, today someone tried to recruit me to be a jury selection consultant. Literally, the most experience I have in jury selection is the time I was tapped for jury duty.
Katala says
I very very rarely log into my LinkedIn and I’m sure I’m not the only one, so they must get many non-responses. I think it’s weird for someone to angry message you at all but especially for ignoring an invite. But what do I know.
Pogo says
I never accept recruiters. Maybe they see that I decline, but I don’t care.