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Crossbody purses are hot right now, and they can be great for moms used to toting around MUCH larger bags, because you can keep your personal items in there (e.g., money, lipstick, phone), then grab it and go if you don’t need the larger bag. I like this highly rated Halogen crossbody clutch; readers at Corporette have also been singing the praises of Lo & Sons’ new Pearl crossbody. The Halogen clutch is $68, and available in 8 colors. Halogen Saffiano Leather Crossbody ClutchSales of note for 3.18.24
(See all of the latest workwear sales at Corporette!)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off sale; $50 off $200
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; up to 40% off almost everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off women’s dressed-up styles
- Lands’ End – 10% off your order
- Loft – 40% off your purchase
- Nordstrom: 4,400+ new markdowns
- Talbots – 25% off your purchase, including markdowns
- Zappos – 37,000+ women’s sale items! (check out these reader-favorite workwear brands on sale, and some of our favorite kids’ shoe brands on sale)
Kid/Family Sales
- Carter’s – 50% off pajamas & free shipping on all orders (ends 3/18); at least 40% off everything
- Hanna Andersson – 30% off all dresses; up to 40% off Easter
- J.Crew Crewcuts – Up to 40% off kids’ dressed-up styles
- Old Navy – 50% off everything (ends 3/20)
- Target – 20% off tees, tanks & shorts for all; BOGO 50% off kids’ books, board games, activity kits & puzzles; up to $150 off select Apple products
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And — here are some of our latest threadjacks of interest – working mom questions asked by the commenters!
- If you’re a working parent of an infant with low sleep needs, how do you function at work when you’re in the throes of baby’s sleep regression?
- Should I cut my childcare down to 12 hours a month if I work from home?
- Will my baby have speech delays if we raise her bilingual?
- Has anyone given birth in a teaching hospital?
- My child eats everything, and my friends’ kids do not – how should I handle? In general, what is the best way to handle when your child has some skill/ability and your friend’s child doesn’t have that skill/ability?
- ADHD moms, give me your tips to help with things like behavior in the classroom, attention to detail, etc?
- I think I suffer from mom rage…
- My husband and kids are gone this weekend – how should I enjoy my free time?
- I’m struggling to be compassionate with a SAHM friend who complains she doesn’t have enough hours of childcare.
- If you exclusively formula fed, what tips do you have for in the hospital and coming home?
- Could I take my 4-yo and 8-yo on a 7-8 day trip to Paris, Lyon, and Madrid?
Two Cents says
Has Kat ever down a round up of cute and stylish nursing tops? And if not, can you ladies post links to really cute nursing tops that you liked wearing?
My son is three weeks old and I’m already getting reallllly tired of wearing the same 4 tops over and over again. I’m specifically looking for nursing tops (not just regular tops that can be nursing friendly, because I find those tops are often way too low cut). Specifically, I’m looking for nursing tops that have that discreet flap that pulls up, so that you’re showing as little skin as possible. I’m not interested in tanks (would like sleeved tops, since it’s absolutely freezing here in New England).
Here’s an example. I love this top, in case others are looking for cute nursing tops as well:
http://www.milknursingwear.com/store/pc/Empire-scoop-neck-nursing-top-2p3373.htm
Thanks!
NewMomAnon says
I don’t know of a round-up, but my favorite nursing tops came from Japanese Weekend (during and after tops and dresses!). I also had nursing tops from H&M (really nice basic t-shirt tops) and ASOS (nice nursing sweaters that had creative design details to disguise the nursing openings).
But honestly, my go-to nursing wardrobe while out and about was a nursing tank underneath a shirt that could be pulled up (i.e., pull up the outer shirt, bunch it up under your chin, unsnap the nursing tank and nurse). The nursing tank covers your tummy, the shirt on top covers your chest and can be used as a nursing cover if needed. I wore light sweatshirts, sweaters (but they can get a little messy, so machine-washable is important), or long-sleeve knit tops. I didn’t wear my nursing tops after a while, because so many of them were HUGE once I started losing the baby weight. (Except Japanese Weekend, which fit me really well).
(former) preg 3L says
+1 — “honestly, my go-to nursing wardrobe while out and about was a nursing tank underneath a shirt that could be pulled up” — ditto.
Nonny says
My go-to was similar but rather than pulling up a shirt, I wore buttoned shirts over the nursing tanks, so simply unbuttoned every time I nursed. For me, that worked better than pulling up a shirt. My baby was born in January so for the first few months, the shirts I wore were mostly nice, warm flannel shirts.
Having said that, I did have a couple of comfy nursing tops from Seraphine, so that would be worth looking at. I especially liked their bamboo nursing tops.
POSITA says
I never liked any of the nursing tops I found. I ended up wearing nursing tanks with button down shirts. I felt like I showed the least that way.
OP says
Thanks for the responses. I don’t like the nursing tank/cardigan look on me and the regular shirt over nursing tank never looked right on me (tried both when I was nursing my first child). If others have recs specifically on nursing tops, I would really appreciate it. Thanks!
JJ says
I wore a lot of nursing tops from the Gap. Old Navy’s were fine, but I felt like they got stretched out pretty quickly. At least for me, I had to wear a nursing tank or cami under all my nursing tops because they were so low cut and I was so busty that the shirts were borderline indecent for public exposure.
CHL says
I really like the tops from B00B. They hold their shape and are most discreet. They’re pricey but you can usually find on ebay. I’m a 6 – 8 and the medium has been good.
RDC says
YES – also nursing, also very frustrated with the lack of good nursing tops. I’ve got one old navy one that works, and one from Milk Nursingware that’s nice, but otherwise just making do with maternity tops. I also just ordered a couple tops from PattyBoutik on Amazon that I’m hoping will work, although not specifically for nursing.
This seems like a hugely underserved market niche, for any lady entrepreneurs reading! I don’t want to wear maternity clothes when I’m not pregnant, and I would like to have some decent-looking clothes if I’m going to try to nurse for six months (or a year?!).
Anonymous says
http://m.asos.com/mt/www.asos.com/asos-maternity/asos-maternity-nursing-skater-dress-with-double-layer/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=4911509&clr=Cornflowerblue&SearchQuery=Nursing+dress&un_jtt_v_frompage=0&pge=1&pgesize=50&totalstyle=13
I love this and have it in 5 colours
anon in nyc says
I posted a few weeks ago about potentially cutting my maternity leave short to take a new job. I got the offer and am trying to decide what to do. I actually wouldn’t have to trim more than a few weeks off my mat leave, so I’m not concerned about that, but I’m debating whether this new job makes sense. It would be a 9-5, 4 days a week job vs. my current job which is a mid level in big law. Obviously the new job has the pro of being a predictable, fewer hours a week schedule. The pay is fine — it would be about the same as if I went 80% at my biglaw job (which I hadn’t planned to do, but might have to if things become unmanageable and I couldn’t work out childcare on the days I had to stay late, etc.). My big concern is that this new job would be working exclusively with one senior person….and I’ve heard from friends at the new firm that he has the reputation of being a little crazy. He came across as relatively normal to me in interviews (although he did admit that he sometimes yells). The person I’d be replacing has been there 10 years, so she obviously did OK and liked it/him well enough. The senior person’s paralegal and secretary have been with him 20+ years so he can’t be that bad right? I just can’t decide whether the switch makes sense…I am definitely the “default parent” so the regular schedule is hugely attractive to me, but I obviously don’t want to be miserable! Thoughts?
JJ says
Are you happy in your big law job? Do you have relative flexibility there so that, if your baby gets sick, you could leave the office and work from home the rest of the day/the next day? Would the new job have that same flexibility?
You’re right that the new job has some red flags to think about. If you’re established enough in your big law job that you can take advantage of the flexible schedule they usually have (wherever you work, just get it done), I would keep that job for now until you can find a new job with a better schedule but with a more predictable supervisor. The biggest drawback about a new job is having to make a good impression as a hard, dedicated worker all over again…and that’s even harder as the default parent to a baby.
FWIW, I’ve worked for crazy people that have had the same assistants for years. I don’t know how those assistants did it. So even if they’ve been working for this guy for years, it could still mean he might be a troublesome boss.
Sarabeth says
Honestly? I wouldn’t do it unless you can find a way to get more meaningful reassurance that working for this guy isn’t going to be terrible. Admitting he ‘sometimes yells’ in an interview context strikes me as a huge red flag. And if it all goes bad, you’ll be in the position of explaining why you want to move again after only a short period in the job. I’d keep looking for something that has regular hours AND a sane boss. I would 100% rather work crazy hours for a bit longer than work regular hours for a crazy boss. The latter, in my experience, is much much worse for my health/stress levels/general happiness. And you can, to an extent, buy yourself more time via outsourcing. You can’t throw money at the problem of a boss who yells at you all the time.
anon in nyc says
Thanks — I think that’s the right answer. I am well-liked in my current job, although I don’t know how having a baby to get home to will change things. I’m not sure how flexible they’ll be with me (no other women in my group have kids). I was just hoping this would be the “perfect” move and I’m nervous about returning to my job, but I guess I’ll just see how things go and I guess I can ask about going down to 80% if things get really bad.
Crazy Partners says
I work with a partner who has that reputation. It really depends on the situation. In my case, it’s fine. I can handle it, and he really likes me, so it works most of the time. He also has a lot of “pros” to his personality that balance out the cons. I’m a young partner myself, but our group dynamic is still that he’s in charge so it’s not a lot different from when I was an associate. I have seen the situation very much not work for other people though. The people who aren’t willing to make adjustments to fit his personality don’t tend to work out.
ETA: He also has an assistant who loves him. He just treats her differently because he has different expectations. If you can talk to the person you’d be replacing, you may be able to get some more details on whether his brand of crazy is something you can handle. My senior person’s brand of crazy also happens to come with a huge love of children and understanding of all things childcare. So, that’s a big pro for me that I think is rare.
Pogo says
“He also has an assistant who loves him. He just treats her differently because he has different expectations.”
Amen to that. Two senior partners at my last job were full on nusto, but they were really nice to their shared assistant.
ANP says
I can see pros and cons to taking the new position, but would just offer one piece of advice that a trusted friend and mentor once gave me: “No job is better than your boss.” It’s rung true for me over and over in my own career, so if you have doubts about your supervisor I’d say that’s all you need to know in order to make a decision.
JJ says
That is brilliant advice. Thanks for sharing.
OliveMac says
No job is better than your boss. #brilliant
AKB says
If you’re not in LOVE with this new job, just wait and see how things go in your current job with the new baby. It’s a lot of transition to out yourself through.
Introverted post-baby? says
I’m at my first large business conference post-babies, and am having a difficult time of getting my head back in the game. Apart from being bummed to leave the babies at home overnight and having to take frequent pumping breaks, I’m finding it much more difficult to come up with work small talk. I’m generally pretty comfortable at these things, but am feeling pretty introverted this time around. Also, every time I exchange a quick “hello, hello” with someone, I am tempted to start reciting the whole “Go Dog Go” dialogue (hello, hello, do you like my hat, no i do not like your hat, good-bye, good-bye). Not sure how that would go over with an audience of mostly men in finance :)
Shayla says
Hugs! First time away is rough. And you have to pump, double rough. Easier said than done, but try to enjoy the good things about being away (a shower without interruption!). Also, I think it’s normal to be less into small talk this early on, at least that is what I say to myself b/c I’m in the same boat. I don’t know if it’s because having babies is a gut check as to what is important, and some times small talk is… just silly. Hang in there, treat yourself to hot beverages you don’t have to worry about spilling on your babes, or treats you don’t have to share with them (if they are at that phase yet…I’d kill for my own snack size cheeze-it bag). As for small talk, try to find a current event that you care about and steer conversation there, if possible. Though, take video of your “Go Dog Go”recitation, if it comes to that.
Maddie Ross says
I can relate. I felt as though I’d suffered a major head injury or something at my first few work events after maternity leave – I couldn’t make small talk, I felt like I had nothing to say to people, and I swore I just stood there staring vapidly at people. In reality, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad, but small talk (with adults! what a concept!) is a skill of sorts and it had gotten seriously rusty while I was on leave. My biggest piece of advice is don’t drink too much to over-compensate – your tolerance is probably in the toilet and it’s easy to over-do (I am saying this from experience, unfortunately). You don’t want to spend your one morning alone without a baby hungover in a hotel room. Trust me.
Introverted post-baby? says
Yes! Head injury is such a good way to explain it. I just feel so awkward and inarticulate and every social insecurity comes rising to the surface. Hopefully it will get better over time but in the meantime, it’s just nice to know I’m not alone in feeling this way
And good tip on the alcohol. The one upside of pumping is that it forces me to have no more than one drink. With my current lack of tolerance, I can see that going south quickly.
Philanthropy Girl says
this started for me during pregnancy. I felt so self-conscious in my larger-than-normal-skin, and felt like everyone looked at my differently because I was pregnant. It seemed so hard to convey the serious-working-woman I’d like everyone to see me as. Now that I’m post baby, i feel at a loss as to what to say in small-talk conversations. Pretty much my world outside of work is baby. And while I may not yet be reciting Go Do Go, having a conversation about anything other than diapers, laundry, amount of food consumed and what amusing sound the child has most recently learned seems impossible. As a natural introvert, this type of meet-and-greet has become even more difficult for me.
My go-to trick is to take the focus off myself. I ask lots of questions, albeit generic ones – you’ll find people love to talk about themselves, so as long as you have a handful of questions to ask a new acquaintance, they seem to handle the talking just fine all by themselves. It’s the only thing that works for me.
Anon says
You probably also feel you don’t have much to talk about. Next time you’re on your way to a conference grab a few magazines on different topics (depending on who will be there) and at least skim them. And as a full-time introvert I’d recommend the fall-back question. People like to talk about themselves so just ask questions: How did you end up in your position? How did you end up in your company? What are you most interested about seeing/doing/hearing at this conference? (I’m sure a regular extrovert can come up with a dozen more, but those are my go-tos.)
ELL says
For those who are pumping: how often do you all sterilize your pump parts? I have been boiling the parts once a day on the days I pump, but a friend told me that was not really necessary. She sometimes (often?) just washes with hot water and soap. Do some count a run through the dishwasher as sterilizing? Thoughts?
NewMomAnon says
I looked into this once, and found everything from “sterilize once a day” to “sterilize the first use and then don’t bother.” I stuck with sterilizing once a day because I’m risk-averse and kept forgetting to ask the pediatrian for her recommendation, but I didn’t sweat it if I forgot or ran out of time.
Not sure if there is any scientific merit to that, but I sometimes skipped sterilizing pump parts but rarely skipped sterilizing bottles/nipples.s. Pump parts touch the milk for such a short time, but the nipples go in their mouths and the milk sits in the bottles sometimes for a few days.
anne-on says
I used the sterilizer microwave bags roughly once a day. I found they were much much easier than boiling the parts, and if the baby was sick (or I felt like the parts needed it) I’d sometimes wash in the dishwasher first and then sterilize after. As a bonus, the sterilizer bags were great for nipples/bottle parts as well, and we used the all the time when my son had colds.
Maddie Ross says
If sterilizing to you is boiling, than I never technically “sterilized” my pump parts (or bottles). I ran them through the dishwasher every evening along with the bottles and would occasionally use the steam bags in a pinch (like if we forgot to run the dishwasher). I never once boiled a single thing my daughter drank from or for pumping.
Anonymama says
This. Unless your baby has immune issues I wouldn’t worry about sterilizing. After the first few weeks they put hands/toys/socks/etc in their mouths anyway. And there’s so much research now about how being in a sterile environment is actually not good for the development if their immune systems.
(former) preg 3L says
I put my pump parts and bottles in the bottle sterilizer in the microwave once very couple months. Baby’s turning one in ONE WEEK OMG and I’ve sterilized everything maybe 6 times since she was born, but it’s very random (e.g., every week for 3 weeks, then not for 3 months).
ETA: I wash everything daily with hot water and dish soap, or I’ll run them through the dishwasher if I don’t feel like hand-washing. But that’s definitely daily.
Meg Murry says
My dishwasher has a “sterilize” setting that I used once a week or so – otherwise, dishsoap and water wash nightly was it for me. Sometimes the parts start to feel greasy because dish soap doesn’t totally wash away all the milk fats, so in that case I would give a good thorough scrub with papertowel or fresh dishcloth and soap before using the dishwasher, but otherwise I never sterilized.
ETA – except when I was fighting thrush or concerned that I was a little itchy and could be on the verge of a full thrush outbreak.. I did a dilute white vinegar rinse/wipe after washing and then boiled pump parts or used the microwave sterilizing bags during those times.
Meg Murry says
All this is assuming of course your baby isn’t a preemie in the NICU or otherwise immuno-compromised. In that case – ask the pediatrician or hospital staff, but for a typical, healthy baby soap and hot water should be sufficient.
Burgher says
I almost never sterilized mine and never had any issues. I had a couple microwave sterilizing bags stashed at work for emergencies, but otherwise I either ran everything through the dishwasher or handwashed in the sink.
Not sure if you’ve come across this one yet, but it was a lifesaver for me…. you can keep your pump parts refrigerated in between pumps. I was initially using “clean” parts for every pump, and reusing them cut down on washing by 1/3.
FVNC says
Maybe once per month on avg? I washed them every night in soapy water but only boiled them once in a while.
KJ says
I started out doing the steam bag every night and quickly switched to just running them through the dishwasher. Having multiple sets of pump parts really helped to be able to do this.
Sarabeth says
Never, not once. I ran them through the dishwasher nightly, but never boiled/steamed. Honestly, it seemed overkill in light of all the other shit that my baby was putting in her mouth. I was way less worried about washed/dried pump parts than about the binky that fell on the floor, etc.
Philanthropy Girl says
I toss them in the bottle sterilizer once a week, and hand wash with soap and water every time I use them (I don’t have the fridge space to keep them cold between uses).
Momata says
I sterilized everything in boiling water after I bought it. From there I ran my parts, bottles, and nipples through the dishwasher’s regular cycle / hubby handwashed in hot soapy water nightly. I used the microwave steam bags as a failsafe when we were traveling and I didn’t feel like the hotel kitchenette sink situation got everything clean enough. I think I used them a couple other times when baby was sick or I feared this nasty yeast infection under my b@@b was going to spread and lead to thrush. I pumped with this system for 12m without any problems.
EB0220 says
I store mine in the fridge during the day and run them through the dishwasher (on the hot dry setting) at night. I do sometimes use the sterilizer microwave bags if I need to quickly clean something but that’s just every now and then. I’m pretty lazy, but I figure that breastmilk is magic!
Katala says
Ah, you all are making me so jealous of dishwashers!! I really have no idea where the bottles/pump parts are going to go since the counter already gets 100% full from daily dishes for the two of us. the joy of NYC kitchens :)
OliveMac says
I just want to say I love this community. The comments are useful, relevant, friendly and supportive. I am only 15w pregnant (yahoo! 2nd tri!), so none of this stuff pertains to me right now, but heck yeah ladies – way to make a village.
RR says
I really like how this community is developing too. It’s so nice to see action on the posts now, and I’m so impressed at some of the conversations we’ve had without drama.
Katala says
+1
I still just lurk on the other s!te but feel comfortable posting here. And have gotten such great advice. Love it. Congrats on 2nd tri! It’s the best, kinda sad it’s going to be over for me in a week or two.
KJ says
Oh, Working Moms, I have a major vent and a request for advice.
I woke up this morning and checked Facebook to find that a friend of mine (who has no children, if that matters) had shared an article that had been posted by the midwife practice I used for my baby. The article was about sleep training and condemned it in no uncertain terms, calling it “immoral” and “child abuse.” It also described a sleep training family as enjoying beers in front of the TV while the baby screamed to the point of vomiting and no one cared.
Ok, fine if my friend wants to share this, even knowing that we sleep trained, but I’m actually pretty upset and disturbed that my midwives would post this. It makes me feel judged and like they aren’t the safe nurturing space I felt they were. It makes me not want to use them if we decide to have a second child. Any advice? I know it’s just a stupid article, and I should ignore it. But how do I let it goooooo?
Maddie Ross says
Full disclosure, I sleep-trained and am so glad we did, but it did take a few false-starts before we got through it (’cause that shizz is hard!), but I heard all kinds of opinions and read all kinds of articles on both sides of the fence in the months leading up to doing it. To me, if your midwifery group wrote the article, I might feel upset and question using them. If they just posted it from another source, I would probably just write it off if I otherwise liked the practice. As for your friend, I would certainly write if off if she doesn’t have kids yet. She’s insane to even be taking a stance on that stuff pre-kids.
mascot says
Midwifes aren’t pediatricians so I probably wouldn’t pay much attention to the advice they give on child-rearing. Also, all of the midwives in the group may not share that opinion. Sometimes inflammatory stuff gets posted on social media and no one from an organization keeps tabs on it. You get so much conflicting advice as a parent. I’d just add this to the discard pile and move on.
signed, parent of a good sleeper who needed to fuss it down before he went to sleep.
MNF says
I saw the article on facebook last night as well. It read like propaganda. I’m not a mom yet, and have no comment on the sleep training methods, but it was so obviously biased and unreasonably argued that I think you should be concerned that your medical professional endorsed it.
I felt like I was reading a first semester 1L lawyering paper (no, your moral indignation does not make you right, No, actually no cares what you “think” or “feel” about this case, how about you actually discuss the legal reasoning on either side?)
ETA, maybe my response is harsh, but I’d think it’s at least worth a conversation with your midwife?
RR says
I haven’t seen the article, but I would feel the same way. I just don’t like that kind of judgment of moms and parenting styles, and I particularly would not want to see it from my midwife practice.
Full disclosure, I am very much in favor of sleep training. I believe it is good for my children (not just for me). And, I did extinction CIO, which I think resulted in less crying over all. I can’t imagine that I would ever post something about the horrors of co-sleeping (which I think is quite lovely if it works for your family, even if it doesn’t work for mine).
JJ says
Agreed. Recognizing that you probably won’t be going to your midwives for sleep-training advice, I would question the judgment of a practice that is so willing to be inflammatory, judgmental, and incendiary to moms. That would make me hesitate to use them again.
JP says
I would be so annoyed as well, but I agree that I don’t think it’s as important that your midwife group agrees with you on this as if your pediatrician does. I would stay with them if they meet your pregnancy/ birth needs. I think it would really only come up at your post partum check, and then you can just give them a non response and let them know you and your pediatrician have it under control.
Incidentally, I read this article this week and loved the way they rebranded sleep training as teaching babies good sleep habits: http://m.today.com/parents/sleep-training-babies-why-it-doesnt-work-what-does-1D80436329. This much better reflected the way I thought about it when we were doing it. Has anyone read th is book?
Momata says
I think I’d be more upset at the friend than the midwives. The midwife’s role is limited to pregnancy and childbirth, and ends when you take your baby home – if I felt supported and like their philosophies on those phases matched mine, then I’d be all right going back to them. I’d be more annoyed that a friend was judging other moms, even more so annoyed that (s)/he was doing so without any time logged in the trenches.
EB0220 says
I saw that article and thought it was very unfair. I am actually in the non-CIO camp, but there is just no need to make parents feel guilty for their parenting choices. I hope that every parent follows their gut instinct on decisions like this, regardless of what that is. I came into parenting with zero expectations, and ended up pretty firmly on the crunchy side (surprising even myself). But I chose what is right for me, my kids and my family. Period, end of story. So I’m sending virtual hugs because I thought that article was pretty offensive.
KJ says
Thank you so much for all your comments and support. It really helps just to get it off my chest and hear all your perspectives.
Just to be clear, the midwives didn’t write this article; they only shared it.
I know it’s been said before, but this parenting thing is hard enough without trying to make people feel like crap for what they do to try to survive. I didn’t want to sleep train before six months, and between 4 and 6 months my baby woke up every 1-2 hours wanting to nurse all night long. I was seriously a wreck, just exhausted, crying all the time, zoning out behind the wheel of my car, and falling behind at work. I researched a million different sleep philosophies, and after she was six months old we tried some different things and gradually found a way that worked for us. Things are by no means perfect – I’m still doing 4 am feedings every day at almost 10 months – but this absolutely saved my sanity. And for people to say that I’m cruel or lazy or selfish when it has been SUCH a struggle really stings. I am mostly immune to the mommy wars, but for some reason this issue really gets me. Maybe because I would love to hold my baby all night long (which is what she wants, by the way, not co-sleeping even, but being held in my arms with a b00b available ALL NIGHT LONG), but I am not physically or mentally capable of doing that. So I guess I do feel slightly guilty even though I know this is best for us, and that’s why it’s tough to hear these criticisms. Anyway, thanks for listening! I am trying not to subject people in real life or on Facebook to these rants, so I’m glad to be able to vent here.
MSJ says
There was a huge outcry on the article (which I refuse to read) on a facebook group I am part of causing all sorts of drama. There are many many who feel equally as enraged by that piece of writing as you. I think it’s especially hard on working moms. I need sleep to be able to work and provide for my family. I wish I got to spend more time with my kids at night, but unfortunately having them go to sleep at 7pm is what keeps us all sane, despite the extra cuddles I may want.
anne-on says
Immoral and child abuse for sleep training? HAHAHAHA. Yeesh. Have those people not seen what actual for real child abuse is? Sleep training using by letting your child self-soothe for minutes at a time over multiple nights is NOT that.
I’d ignore your friend, but I’d have serious concerns about your midwife practice for writing and distributing such nonsense. Are they also going to condemn you if you can’t (or won’t) nurse your child? Or don’t want to bed share? Or make any number of other personal decisions that have absolutely NO bearing on whether or not you’re a good and loving parent? Sorry, I have very little patience for healthcare professionals making such ridiculous statements.
JP says
Would love to hear if anyone has the Lo & Sons Pearl bag – I’ve been thinking about going for it. I have the OG and would love something to tuck in it that I can grab if I run to lunch.
Midwest Mom says
GAH! I’m so frustrated. We have one kiddo and got pregnant with her the first month I went off the pill. I’ve been trying to track my cycles for the last few months because we’re going to start TTC very soon and it’s so irregular. I thought I had it figured out that my cycles are 41 days long, but then I got my period last night on day 29 of this cycle. I’m not sure what to do, other than just have s*x every day, which I’m not up for and is not feasible because of our schedules and a toddler who doesn’t like sleeping. Any suggestions? So far I’ve just been using the Fertility Friend app and watching cervical fluid (which also seems inconsistent), and then started using the ovulation predictor test strips this past month, but they were all negative which makes sense since I got my period almost 2 weeks earlier than expected. The first time around I didn’t track anything or even know when I was ovulating and it was so easy!
JJ says
It’s expensive, but the Clear Blue Fertility Monitor worked really well for me. It gives you several days’ worth of notice before you ovulate, so you know the day is generally coming.
Anonymous says
Temping along with CM monitoring was really, really helpful to me — even if I would sometimes confirm with a cheapo ovulation tester strip to make sure I really knew when to expect my period. My cycles are usually 38-42 days but there’s that occasional 30 day or 45 day in there, so this method helped me relax.
PregAnon says
Can today be over? We’ve had some upheavals at work, I taught a class until 8 last night, and I’m just freaking exhausted and nauseous all the dang time. I’m taking zofran but that won’t help completely today.
Thank goodness I resisted the urge to commit to anything this weekend and am only having early dinner with a friend Saturday. I’m sleeping all weekend, with maybe some XBox thrown in.
back to work says
Not sure if it’s too late to post here, but looking for some general working mom advice. I was laid off while I was pregnant (awesome, right? and, no, there’s no legal cause of action) and have had a rough time finding a new job. While that’s been tough, it’s been amazing to be home with my son these last 10 1/2 months. I finally found a really great new position and it will likely start in March, shortly before my son’s first birthday. The job has flexible hours and probably won’t require much more than 40-50 hrs/week. So basically a working mom’s dream. The thing is, I still can’t see how this all works! My son goes to bed at 7:00pm. The commute into the city is 45-60min. We’re planning to get a nanny for a bit and then most likely an au pair. So there’s not even a need to do daycare drop off/pick up. But I don’t see how I’m gone from the house for fewer than 10-11 hours/day. If I work 9-6 (which is core hours in my city), I’ll get home just when my son is going to bed! My husband and I have talked about off-setting our schedules, but it’s looking like he’s going to have a lot of travel coming up soon that he really can’t avoid. So we have to be able to make it work if I’m the only one home. I keep telling myself that lots and lots of mothers do this. That our city is filled with women who are able to have decent careers and have small children. But I just can’t get my head around the logistics. I’m thinking of shifting my son’s schedule slightly when daylight savings comes so he goes to bed at 7:30 instead of 7:00. I feel like it’s really important to put him to bed most nights. It’s not something I want the nanny to be doing regularly. So how do you all do this? I know you don’t all work 30 hr weeks. How do you make this work with very small children?
CPA lady says
That’s rough. I know in this country we just accept hour long commutes, but honestly, the only way I see my daughter during busy times of year is to live 15 minutes from work. And I still don’t get to put her to bed every night. This time of year, I only put her to bed 4 nights a week. Once we get super busy, that’ll go down to 3 nights a week. So I guess what I’m telling you is that I really don’t know how you can do it, but I do commiserate. That sounds really really tough. I’m just telling myself I’ll make up for missed bedtimes later once things slow down a bit at work. Could you see if you could work 8-5 instead?
Anonymous says
When my son was a baby, I had an hour and a half commute each way and my husband had a two to two and a half hour commute each way. I usually got home at 7 every night. My son doesn’t go to bed until 9 (and always stayed up late, even as a baby). He also sleeps late (now that we’ve moved and live a block from his school and 4 miles from my new office), so he sleeps from 9 pm to 8 am. The tough thing about having a night owl kid and a demanding job is that it means I have very little me time and very little time to spend with my spouse. Basically, when my son goes to bed, I log back on and work until I’m too tired to stay up any longer. So it’s not an ideal situation, but I feel like it’s the best option for us right now.
Any chance you could work from home once a week when you are more established in your new job? Then you’d be able to spend some time in the evening with your baby at least once during the week.
Katarina says
I would shift his bedtime later, especially if he does not have to be out of the house for daycare. Also, can you take work home, like leave an hour early, and do an hour work after he is in bed? I don’t do this regularly, but a lot of my (male) coworkers do this daily. I also tend to do extra work on weekends rather than during the week.
Burgher says
When my son was that age and still went to bed early, I’d only get to spend an hour or less with him each night. Now that he’s a little older, we get a good 2 or 3 hours in. My work hours are more flexible and typically 7/8-4/5, so that helped to have a little bit more time in the evening. If there is any way to shift your hours back even 30 mins to an hour, it could be a big help.
You could try shifting his schedule as you discussed, but be aware that he might not cooperate. We tried to get our son to shift by 30 mins, but he just couldn’t stay up past 7 without being falling over tired (some nights he’d be passing out at 6:30, even!), and refused to ever sleep any later in the morning.